The rut of least resistance and least trouble is a mental rut already made. It requires troublesome work to undertake the alteration of old beliefs.
-John Dewey https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/rut
I am on a bit of a personal mission, a mission many of you are probably on as well. I am on a mission to get myself out of a rut I find myself in. I have been writing about ruts, being stuck and getting beyond negative thinking for a reason. I am writing about this because it is my experience right now. I feel stuck in a rut!
Stuck in the mud.
So what is a rut? Well I use the analogy of being stuck in mud on your way somewhere. You somehow veered off the easy driving highway on your way to your destination and onto some muddy back road. There you landed in a deep hole...rut....and your tires are stuck. No matter how much you spin those darn tires you cannot seem to go forward. Frustrating eh? Depressing eh?
You look about you and say, "What the front door? Why does this always happen to me?" After a bit of cursing, banging the steering wheel and kicking the vehicle (yourself)...you settle into the rut and stay where you are. You decide to make the best of it. Well at least it is comfortable, right? Safe? Whatever was up ahead will remain up ahead and not something you have to deal with, right? Maybe being in such a rut is not such a bad thing. If one is stuck they never have to deal with what is up ahead.
Someone comes along and says , "You are pretty stuck, do you need help?"
To which you answer, as you spin your tires for demonstration purposes, "There is nothing that can be done...see...I am stuck. I have already tried spinning and spinning to get my tires out. I will just have to wait until something miraculous happens with the mud...that it will disappear or something and the hole will fill in."
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
-Albert Einstein
"Well I think if you do it differently...maybe try this or that...while I pull from here!" the stranger might suggest.
To which you will again respond, "Does it look that easy to you? Do you not see how deeply I am stuck...how big this hole is that is swallowing me up? I don't think anyone has ever been stuck as badly as I am!"
The determined stranger , if they don't walk away exasperated might respond, "Well...you are definitely stuck and it looks pretty bad but I think if we try we might just be able to get you out."
"Are you telling me that I got myself here and that I am not trying hard enough to get out of it. Are you saying my being stuck is my fault???" you might then answer.
Eventually the person wanting to help may walk away exasperated and you will remain stuck where you are...alone!
The Rut in real Life
Isn't this what happens when we get stuck, when we lose motivation to do or move forward? Do we get lost in our negative thinking...seeing only the problem? Do we not see our circumstances as something beyond us...that we are victims to forces we have no control over? That being stuck is not something we can easily get out of , if at all? Do we not resist offers for help and suggestions to do differently because we feel a certain familiarity and comfort where we are in our habitual thinking pattern? Do we push others away consciously or subconsciously? Would part of us rather just settle into the mental rut and make the best of it? Is it possible we are getting something from being stuck?
Ruts can become Comfort Zones
I am finding comfort here. I am finding a sense of safety and security in an odd, unfulfilling way. Being a victim to life is a lot easier than being accountable and responsible. If someone suggests that I might be responding to life circumstance in a depressed way , the claws come out and I hiss them away. "I am not depressed", I will retort. "Life is just hard, unfair. People have made unfair decisions and judgments that left me here " I am simply making the best of it and finding a bit of comfort.
A ship in the harbor is safe but that is not what ships were built for.
-John A. Shedd
Hmmm! I am just stuck. I am feeling depressed and the only thing that will help me is if I admit that and am willing to move on! The safety and familiarity this place offers me...is based on ego lies. I may be 'comfortable' ...but I am a prisoner in my own mind because I choose to be.
The only person who can set me free is me. It isn't going to be easy...I have spun quite a hole for myself ...but I can get out of this and be better for it! I just have to accept where I am, be willing to get past it and then I have to accept the help of all those kind others who have suggestions for me to do things differently...very differently than how I have been doing them.
I will write more on this later as it is really on my mind. :) .
Saturday, October 13, 2018
Friday, October 12, 2018
Curiosity
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
-Albert Einstein https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/albert_Einstein
Am I mad for questioning so much? Am I a sinner for questioning those religious explanations about Life that I was brought up and 'told' to believe? Am I crazy for stepping into the world of the 'unknown' when the world of 'known' offers a safe protection from all that may or may not be out there?
I used to think I knew so much. I used to be satisfied and content to some degree with what I thought I knew. I would sit at the dinner table of Life stuffed and pleased with myself for eating so much. Now that I realize I really don't know anything...I am not so content. I feel kind of sick on all I have eaten that does not make sense to me anymore. It is a weird experience. The more my body seems to limit me...the more my questioning mind takes over.
But the truth is...I don't know...and I would like to know. I am ready to put aside my pretentions and my false knowing for curiosity. I want to know. Hmmm!
What is Life all about anyway? Who are we...really... and why are we here? Where and what is here? Are we just streams of consciousness being manifested into physical form? What is physical form/matter? What is consciousness? What is real?
Science offers some pointers. Physics offer some pointers. Philosophy offers some pointers. Theology offers some pointers. Psychology offers some pointers. Metaphysics offers some pointers. Not one of these fields of thought, by themselves, however offers all the answers. They just point in the direction of where the answer might be.
The answer will not come in an 'intellectual insight'. It will not be something, if it comes, that I can jot down on a piece of paper to explain to someone else. It will only be experienced...and I really don't even know what that means. lol
I can gain some understanding of the pointers and I can learn and teach them but that in itself is so limited. The answers are beyond words, intellectual understanding...us.
Hmmm! Somehow I know that.
The human mind, no matter how highly trained, cannot grasp the universe. We are in the position of little children entering a huge library, whose walls are covered to the ceiling in books of many different languages. The child knows that someone must have written those books. It does not know who or how. It doesn't understand the languages in which they are written. The child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books, a mysterious order, which it does not understand but only dimly suspects. That it seems to me is the attitude of the human mind, even the greatest and most cultured, toward God. We see a universe marvellously arranged, obeying certain laws, but we understand the laws only dimly. Our limited minds can not grasp the mysterious force that sways the constellations.
- Einstein
https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/62g1qm/til_albert_einstein_believed_in_spinozas_god_who/
Despite my confusion in my very limited mind, all is well in my world.
-Albert Einstein https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/albert_Einstein
Am I mad for questioning so much? Am I a sinner for questioning those religious explanations about Life that I was brought up and 'told' to believe? Am I crazy for stepping into the world of the 'unknown' when the world of 'known' offers a safe protection from all that may or may not be out there?
I used to think I knew so much. I used to be satisfied and content to some degree with what I thought I knew. I would sit at the dinner table of Life stuffed and pleased with myself for eating so much. Now that I realize I really don't know anything...I am not so content. I feel kind of sick on all I have eaten that does not make sense to me anymore. It is a weird experience. The more my body seems to limit me...the more my questioning mind takes over.
But the truth is...I don't know...and I would like to know. I am ready to put aside my pretentions and my false knowing for curiosity. I want to know. Hmmm!
What is Life all about anyway? Who are we...really... and why are we here? Where and what is here? Are we just streams of consciousness being manifested into physical form? What is physical form/matter? What is consciousness? What is real?
Science offers some pointers. Physics offer some pointers. Philosophy offers some pointers. Theology offers some pointers. Psychology offers some pointers. Metaphysics offers some pointers. Not one of these fields of thought, by themselves, however offers all the answers. They just point in the direction of where the answer might be.
The answer will not come in an 'intellectual insight'. It will not be something, if it comes, that I can jot down on a piece of paper to explain to someone else. It will only be experienced...and I really don't even know what that means. lol
I can gain some understanding of the pointers and I can learn and teach them but that in itself is so limited. The answers are beyond words, intellectual understanding...us.
Hmmm! Somehow I know that.
The human mind, no matter how highly trained, cannot grasp the universe. We are in the position of little children entering a huge library, whose walls are covered to the ceiling in books of many different languages. The child knows that someone must have written those books. It does not know who or how. It doesn't understand the languages in which they are written. The child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books, a mysterious order, which it does not understand but only dimly suspects. That it seems to me is the attitude of the human mind, even the greatest and most cultured, toward God. We see a universe marvellously arranged, obeying certain laws, but we understand the laws only dimly. Our limited minds can not grasp the mysterious force that sways the constellations.
- Einstein
https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/62g1qm/til_albert_einstein_believed_in_spinozas_god_who/
Despite my confusion in my very limited mind, all is well in my world.
Thursday, October 11, 2018
Changing all thoughts that hurt
Loss is not loss when properly perceived. Pain is impossible. There is no grief with any cause at all. And suffering of any kind is nothing but a dream. This is the truth, at first to be but said and then repeated many times; and next to be accepted as but partly true, with many reservations. Then to be considered seriously more and more, and finally accepted as the truth.
ACIM-W-284:1:1-6
I'm back.
Truth is I never left you...all through my wild days, my mad existence...I kept my love for you don't keep your distance...lol...do you know what that is from?
Okay I am back...not like a normal focused human being who understands what she is writing or why...like I had hoped to return to you. I am still as confused and 'all over the place' as I was before I left. I am just a little bit more accepting of it, I guess. :)
Truth is...the week away did not answer any questions for me. I am still not sure why I come here but I find joy, purpose and passion for whatever reason and that is enough.
I also find escape from my stressors out there. When I use the word 'escape' I do so with reverence as in 'finding freedom'. I find a way through the muck and mire of day to day existence in the physical world of limitation, scarcity and 'dukkha' to a peace that exists in the inner world. I don't have to spin my tires here no matter how stuck I may feel out there. Everything just makes sense. That has to be a good thing, doesn't it? And if I am not spinning my tires maybe others can stop spinning theirs. Wouldn't that be the next course of action then...to share what I am learning so others can find a certain peace as well?
So here I am.
I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt.
What I am learning is that I can change the way I think. If I change the way I think and perceive the world, I change the way I live. I am not saying I have mastered the lessons yet...I am just stepping beyond my reservations into serious consideration. I cannot apply them with 100% efficacy out there...but I am learning and I am gaining a little bit of mastery in practice bit by bit. That has to account for something, doesn't it?
I listen to the wisdom that comes my way. I do my best to interpret and make sense of it (what you get here) and then I practice it.
We can choose to change all thoughts that hurt.
I came across this video yesterday from my mentor (though he will never know he is my mentor lol), Eckhart Tolle, on getting beyond negative thinking. This is not the first time I spoke of this. I believe I have a video on negative thinking somewhere on this blog. But to believe it, sometimes we need to hear it from an expert. I am, after all, no expert ...just a student of Life, like many of you are.
Tolle, in this video, explains how we get sucked into negative thinking...the muck and mire of our life situations which exists only in our minds. Negative thinking is an addiction. Something in us does not want to let it go. We get something from it. We cling to the thought pattern at certain times in our lives because it serves a purpose. We want to spin our tires in it. We want to get stuck in it. We resist letting it go because ego loves it. Ego wants us in that mud. The emotions brought about by negative thinking like anger, for example, inflate the ego and give identity to it.
Not on a conscious level, of course, but on some level....we can become " a grievance looking for a cause."
Tolle offers us steps to follow to help us get out of the negative thinking ruts we may find ourselves in.
Steps
ACIM-W-284:1:1-6
I'm back.
Truth is I never left you...all through my wild days, my mad existence...I kept my love for you don't keep your distance...lol...do you know what that is from?
Okay I am back...not like a normal focused human being who understands what she is writing or why...like I had hoped to return to you. I am still as confused and 'all over the place' as I was before I left. I am just a little bit more accepting of it, I guess. :)
Truth is...the week away did not answer any questions for me. I am still not sure why I come here but I find joy, purpose and passion for whatever reason and that is enough.
I also find escape from my stressors out there. When I use the word 'escape' I do so with reverence as in 'finding freedom'. I find a way through the muck and mire of day to day existence in the physical world of limitation, scarcity and 'dukkha' to a peace that exists in the inner world. I don't have to spin my tires here no matter how stuck I may feel out there. Everything just makes sense. That has to be a good thing, doesn't it? And if I am not spinning my tires maybe others can stop spinning theirs. Wouldn't that be the next course of action then...to share what I am learning so others can find a certain peace as well?
So here I am.
I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt.
What I am learning is that I can change the way I think. If I change the way I think and perceive the world, I change the way I live. I am not saying I have mastered the lessons yet...I am just stepping beyond my reservations into serious consideration. I cannot apply them with 100% efficacy out there...but I am learning and I am gaining a little bit of mastery in practice bit by bit. That has to account for something, doesn't it?
I listen to the wisdom that comes my way. I do my best to interpret and make sense of it (what you get here) and then I practice it.
We can choose to change all thoughts that hurt.
I came across this video yesterday from my mentor (though he will never know he is my mentor lol), Eckhart Tolle, on getting beyond negative thinking. This is not the first time I spoke of this. I believe I have a video on negative thinking somewhere on this blog. But to believe it, sometimes we need to hear it from an expert. I am, after all, no expert ...just a student of Life, like many of you are.
Tolle, in this video, explains how we get sucked into negative thinking...the muck and mire of our life situations which exists only in our minds. Negative thinking is an addiction. Something in us does not want to let it go. We get something from it. We cling to the thought pattern at certain times in our lives because it serves a purpose. We want to spin our tires in it. We want to get stuck in it. We resist letting it go because ego loves it. Ego wants us in that mud. The emotions brought about by negative thinking like anger, for example, inflate the ego and give identity to it.
Not on a conscious level, of course, but on some level....we can become " a grievance looking for a cause."
1.
Be aware. We need to find that small stream of awareness that allows us to see self while we are in the stream of negative thinking. We must recognize that a part of us “likes it” and does not want to let it go.
2.
Notice part of you that likes the negative
thinking and is identified with it and is getting something from it as your ego
3.
See how mind activity of this nature is
absolutely futile and serves no purpose.
Ask “Does this thinking pattern change anything in my life for the better
or does it just continue to drag me down and keep me in this hole?” “Do I have a conditioned belief that I
learned that expression of unhappiness will bring reward of some kind…that
things will change to my favor if I express unhappiness to self and others?"
4. Question the truth of those old beliefs and thinking patterns. Need to see how unhappy thoughts actually make life worse
and harder, not better.
5.
Question what life would be like without unhappy
and negative thought? “Could I actually
feel peaceful presence without this type of thinking?”
6.
Choice comes in…choose to put down the pattern of
negative thinking.
7. If you decide to seek
peaceful presence be patient…negative thinking doesn’t go away that quickly. It has taken years to develop its power and strength and it will take time to let go of it.
8.
Don’t fight negative thinking…don’t resist the
thoughts as they come…just be aware of
them. Likely they will come back…it is a familiar pattern that was developed
over a life time…just go back to being aware of the futility
9. Continue to honor and appreciate moments of awareness.
When you see what you are doing, you are the awareness…you
have separated from the negative thinking.
When you don’t see it…you are the negative thinking, the depression, the
anger. You have identified with it. Awareness detaches the reality of who you are from that false identity with ego's thinking pattern.
10. Have faith. Freedom from negative thinking will come eventually.
It is good to be back. All is well in my world.
References:
ACIM-W-284
Tolle Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j91ST2gtR44
Wednesday, October 3, 2018
Rethinking My Purpose Here
Still pondering over whether or not I should take a break from this and rethink my purpose here. In the mean time, I came across these words this morning that have settled in my core when it comes to the healing and finding purpose that I have been writing about lately.
For Your Voice will tell me what to do and where to go; to whom to speak and what to say to him, what thoughts to think, what words to give the world. ACIM-W-275:2:3
I Don't Know What to 'Do'
I don't know why I am here.
And I don't know what to do 'out there' ( by that I mean this messy world around me :)) I don't know how to fix the things that are broken (if they are broken). I do not know where to begin to put things back into order if this is indeed chaos. I don't know what I am supposed to do, to say, or to give to my children, my loved ones, a reader, the world or this tiny little pile of flesh and bones I over identify with. (Some may argue about the 'tiny' descriptor I am using lol). In fact...I don't know anything any more, if I ever did!
That's a strange sensation...to realize one doesn't know anything but at the same time it is quite freeing. Needing to know what to do, where to go, what to say and to whom, what to think...are all about me and this isn't about 'me'. Is it? This idea of 'me' besides being so darned exhausting, just gets in the way of me doing what I am here to do. (And I don't know what that is)
Gut -Thing lol)
I come here to the page because I hear that Voice to some degree. I am definitely not saying I am having a divine calling, that I am channelling or having auditory hallucinations...I am just saying I feel a gentle call for 'inspired action' that brings me here....a gut thing. I do not understand it.
The Ease of Here
Maybe my writing here is just some form of addiction, some numbing activity that keeps me away from dealing with the life events going on around me. Maybe it is an excuse, a form of rationalization so I can feel like I am doing and accomplishing "something' when I feel 'useless' and unproductive out there. There is a certain ease, a certain flow...a certain order to Life that transpires so effortlessly while I am here. It is so much easier being here than it is out there.
Not What 'me' Wants
It is not what my little 'me' wants though....far from it. This idea I have of myself does want to write and play with words but it wants to write 'normal' stuff...fiction and psychology books based on science and years of other-expressed philosophy. It wants to teach but in the classroom like most 'normal' people. (Man...I miss my Anatomy classes). It also wants recognition and praise for what I do...money lol... which would require more readership. This little 'me', this ego, this idea I have of myself...doesn't want me stepping out in to the unknown like this, risking social rejection and failure by writing about such a delicate and controversial thing that I absolutely have no expertise in, no mastery of.
Besides the kind comments from a reader or two I have no idea how it is being received by the world or if it is even being received. I imagine there is a lot of , "Who the %^&* does she think she is writing about this stuff. Is she odd or what?" To which I would have to honestly answer, "I don't know who I am and yes I am definitely odd because I can't seem to help doing what I am doing." It really is beyond me.
Sigh! The biggest concern of mine lately is what type of example am I setting for my children when they see me here. Do they see someone who is passionately driven by a creative force and will they be inspired to listen to their own inner callings despite what society deems as appropriate? Or will they see a lazy, unproductive someone running away from the world, from doing, from Life and learn to do the same?
I don't know! I don't know anything! Yet here I am.
I need to meditate on this and pray on this and then we will see what the future holds for me and this blog. Chances are I will be back. I have been here before, haven't I? Many times, I have asked the same questions, taken a break and have come back. Something keeps pulling me back in again and again...Something much bigger than 'me'.
All is well!
For Your Voice will tell me what to do and where to go; to whom to speak and what to say to him, what thoughts to think, what words to give the world. ACIM-W-275:2:3
I Don't Know What to 'Do'
I don't know why I am here.
And I don't know what to do 'out there' ( by that I mean this messy world around me :)) I don't know how to fix the things that are broken (if they are broken). I do not know where to begin to put things back into order if this is indeed chaos. I don't know what I am supposed to do, to say, or to give to my children, my loved ones, a reader, the world or this tiny little pile of flesh and bones I over identify with. (Some may argue about the 'tiny' descriptor I am using lol). In fact...I don't know anything any more, if I ever did!
That's a strange sensation...to realize one doesn't know anything but at the same time it is quite freeing. Needing to know what to do, where to go, what to say and to whom, what to think...are all about me and this isn't about 'me'. Is it? This idea of 'me' besides being so darned exhausting, just gets in the way of me doing what I am here to do. (And I don't know what that is)
Gut -Thing lol)
I come here to the page because I hear that Voice to some degree. I am definitely not saying I am having a divine calling, that I am channelling or having auditory hallucinations...I am just saying I feel a gentle call for 'inspired action' that brings me here....a gut thing. I do not understand it.
The Ease of Here
Maybe my writing here is just some form of addiction, some numbing activity that keeps me away from dealing with the life events going on around me. Maybe it is an excuse, a form of rationalization so I can feel like I am doing and accomplishing "something' when I feel 'useless' and unproductive out there. There is a certain ease, a certain flow...a certain order to Life that transpires so effortlessly while I am here. It is so much easier being here than it is out there.
Not What 'me' Wants
It is not what my little 'me' wants though....far from it. This idea I have of myself does want to write and play with words but it wants to write 'normal' stuff...fiction and psychology books based on science and years of other-expressed philosophy. It wants to teach but in the classroom like most 'normal' people. (Man...I miss my Anatomy classes). It also wants recognition and praise for what I do...money lol... which would require more readership. This little 'me', this ego, this idea I have of myself...doesn't want me stepping out in to the unknown like this, risking social rejection and failure by writing about such a delicate and controversial thing that I absolutely have no expertise in, no mastery of.
Besides the kind comments from a reader or two I have no idea how it is being received by the world or if it is even being received. I imagine there is a lot of , "Who the %^&* does she think she is writing about this stuff. Is she odd or what?" To which I would have to honestly answer, "I don't know who I am and yes I am definitely odd because I can't seem to help doing what I am doing." It really is beyond me.
Sigh! The biggest concern of mine lately is what type of example am I setting for my children when they see me here. Do they see someone who is passionately driven by a creative force and will they be inspired to listen to their own inner callings despite what society deems as appropriate? Or will they see a lazy, unproductive someone running away from the world, from doing, from Life and learn to do the same?
I don't know! I don't know anything! Yet here I am.
I need to meditate on this and pray on this and then we will see what the future holds for me and this blog. Chances are I will be back. I have been here before, haven't I? Many times, I have asked the same questions, taken a break and have come back. Something keeps pulling me back in again and again...Something much bigger than 'me'.
All is well!
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
Still pondering Rumi's words of wisdom
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper is that your guests are so pleased to feel how very much better they are.
-Eleanor Roosevelt https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/guests
Eleanor and I would have been really tight if we got to know each other, I think. :)
Am I one of those uninvited Guests?
I might step away from this for a while. It is pure compulsion that brings me here and I cannot explain why or what I am supposed to accomplish by being here...I really do not know. All I know is that it is the one thing I can do, I want to do, that I am committed to doing. At the same time, it doesn't make a lick of sense to what is left to my rational mind. Do I need time to ponder my purpose here?
Why am I writing in a blog about waking up when I can barely get out of bed some mornings? There is little readership besides a few devoted souls whom I appreciate immensely but how do I know what I am bringing when I step over the threshold of their guest houses? I may be showing up as an undesirable guest in someone else's life, just as these spammer sites are showing up in mine. Who knows?
Is this good for me?
While I spend the hour or a bit here each day, things are piling up all around me . Despite my love of Being I know things need to be done. I am not 'doing' enough. I do not even know what to do. I haven't the mental and physical energy to resist entropy :). I do not have the desire or motivation to put things in order...by that I mean my life, my house, my family. And man am I hiding out! I seem to be ducking from anything that requires energy. This blog does not seem to require energy of me. Isn't that strange? The rest of my life does!
Welcoming it All in!
To be fair to myself, I am allowing everything Life offers me in...even the dark thoughts, the shame and the malice for all kinds of positive Self developing reasons but mostly because holding the door closed is too darn tiring. :)
But I am certainly not a gracious host like Rumi suggests we should be. I am not enjoying the company.
And I get pi$%ed off from time to time. Some of those little jerks, the ones that come in groups (sorrows) seem to be sweeping everything away from my house, my life, leaving it empty and bare in so many places. You think I would appreciate someone cleaning up around here because I certainly am not. Besides we need more than a little de-cluttering in this place and the furniture...man...really though...they can have all those fur collectors. I would rather sit on the floor. :)
Still...I cannot seem to appreciate this little gang of hyperactive party thieves simply because I 'can't control them'. I want control, peace and quiet ...they don't bring that. They(life circumstances) bring unpredictability, chaos and then a sense of emptiness I am not yet used to, when they leave with all my belongings on their backs. So I do not honor them enough for their 'clearing' potential.
Not an entertaining Host!
As far as being an entertaining host... I am not. I am the kind of person who says in not so many words when I open the door..."Come in, make yourself at home but don't expect me to go over and beyond for ya! I am not going to stand on my head and spit out nickels for ya. As soon as you walk through that door, you are treated like family not royalty, k?" I never liked small talk or gossip nor do I appreciate the energy it requires to put on masks or be anything but what I am.
So when Life shows up in the many ways she does (each moment), I do not go out of my way to entertain her. If she is nasty and hard to handle ...well I want nothing to do with her lol. I tend to walk with my extra depressing and mean guests as they go on and on, towards the back door in hope they will take the hint and leave through there.
Laughter
I do love to laugh though. I am not laughing enough these days. Oh man...I miss laughing. I had one little bout a week ago over an email I wrote. I was describing my life to a couple of others and seeing the absurdity of it struck me so funny...and I laughed. I laughed and laughed until the tears came out and my belly hurt. D. and the kids thought I finally went over the cliff I was wobbling on ...they couldn't understand why I found it funny. I was reminded of how wonderful it feels to laugh and to make others laugh. Man...I miss laughing!
Now I will accept all the unexpected and undesirable guests if I have to but what I would really like is for some experiences to come to my 'guest house' carrying bundles of hope, sunshine and joy...to just fill up every corner of this place with it. That would be so great.
I know that these desirable guests will not be able to stay here for ever though, that they too will just be temporary visitors passing through, but if they could...just for a bit... bring a little of that good stuff in, in such an obvious way that I can't help but to laugh... I would really be grateful then.
Rumi's Point
Ahhh! But that's not the point of Rumi's teaching is it?
I need to also be grateful for those guests who come into my house carrying their garbage and their baggage, who are unpleasant and who get my attention with their misbehaviour.
Those guests that bring darkness are just as valuable as those that bring light. Those that bring tears are just as valuable as those that bring laughter. Those that take away are just as valuable as those that give. (That's a good thing then because they seem to be arriving in flocks lately).
Each so called "Guest" is sent by Something Greater- a guide from beyond. Each comes with a purpose to teach and enrich my Life with the magical experience of being human....even if I cannot see or understand what that purpose is.
Who am I to judge them, to deny them or to discriminate against any newcomer? They are, after all, all guests in my house. I pray that I will learn to welcome them all in with laughter.
All is well in my world!
The Guest House (translated by Coleman Barks: (http://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poetry/poems/guest-house)
-Eleanor Roosevelt https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/guests
Eleanor and I would have been really tight if we got to know each other, I think. :)
Am I one of those uninvited Guests?
I might step away from this for a while. It is pure compulsion that brings me here and I cannot explain why or what I am supposed to accomplish by being here...I really do not know. All I know is that it is the one thing I can do, I want to do, that I am committed to doing. At the same time, it doesn't make a lick of sense to what is left to my rational mind. Do I need time to ponder my purpose here?
Why am I writing in a blog about waking up when I can barely get out of bed some mornings? There is little readership besides a few devoted souls whom I appreciate immensely but how do I know what I am bringing when I step over the threshold of their guest houses? I may be showing up as an undesirable guest in someone else's life, just as these spammer sites are showing up in mine. Who knows?
Is this good for me?
While I spend the hour or a bit here each day, things are piling up all around me . Despite my love of Being I know things need to be done. I am not 'doing' enough. I do not even know what to do. I haven't the mental and physical energy to resist entropy :). I do not have the desire or motivation to put things in order...by that I mean my life, my house, my family. And man am I hiding out! I seem to be ducking from anything that requires energy. This blog does not seem to require energy of me. Isn't that strange? The rest of my life does!
Welcoming it All in!
To be fair to myself, I am allowing everything Life offers me in...even the dark thoughts, the shame and the malice for all kinds of positive Self developing reasons but mostly because holding the door closed is too darn tiring. :)
But I am certainly not a gracious host like Rumi suggests we should be. I am not enjoying the company.
And I get pi$%ed off from time to time. Some of those little jerks, the ones that come in groups (sorrows) seem to be sweeping everything away from my house, my life, leaving it empty and bare in so many places. You think I would appreciate someone cleaning up around here because I certainly am not. Besides we need more than a little de-cluttering in this place and the furniture...man...really though...they can have all those fur collectors. I would rather sit on the floor. :)
Still...I cannot seem to appreciate this little gang of hyperactive party thieves simply because I 'can't control them'. I want control, peace and quiet ...they don't bring that. They(life circumstances) bring unpredictability, chaos and then a sense of emptiness I am not yet used to, when they leave with all my belongings on their backs. So I do not honor them enough for their 'clearing' potential.
Not an entertaining Host!
As far as being an entertaining host... I am not. I am the kind of person who says in not so many words when I open the door..."Come in, make yourself at home but don't expect me to go over and beyond for ya! I am not going to stand on my head and spit out nickels for ya. As soon as you walk through that door, you are treated like family not royalty, k?" I never liked small talk or gossip nor do I appreciate the energy it requires to put on masks or be anything but what I am.
So when Life shows up in the many ways she does (each moment), I do not go out of my way to entertain her. If she is nasty and hard to handle ...well I want nothing to do with her lol. I tend to walk with my extra depressing and mean guests as they go on and on, towards the back door in hope they will take the hint and leave through there.
Laughter
I do love to laugh though. I am not laughing enough these days. Oh man...I miss laughing. I had one little bout a week ago over an email I wrote. I was describing my life to a couple of others and seeing the absurdity of it struck me so funny...and I laughed. I laughed and laughed until the tears came out and my belly hurt. D. and the kids thought I finally went over the cliff I was wobbling on ...they couldn't understand why I found it funny. I was reminded of how wonderful it feels to laugh and to make others laugh. Man...I miss laughing!
Now I will accept all the unexpected and undesirable guests if I have to but what I would really like is for some experiences to come to my 'guest house' carrying bundles of hope, sunshine and joy...to just fill up every corner of this place with it. That would be so great.
I know that these desirable guests will not be able to stay here for ever though, that they too will just be temporary visitors passing through, but if they could...just for a bit... bring a little of that good stuff in, in such an obvious way that I can't help but to laugh... I would really be grateful then.
Rumi's Point
Ahhh! But that's not the point of Rumi's teaching is it?
I need to also be grateful for those guests who come into my house carrying their garbage and their baggage, who are unpleasant and who get my attention with their misbehaviour.
Those guests that bring darkness are just as valuable as those that bring light. Those that bring tears are just as valuable as those that bring laughter. Those that take away are just as valuable as those that give. (That's a good thing then because they seem to be arriving in flocks lately).
Each so called "Guest" is sent by Something Greater- a guide from beyond. Each comes with a purpose to teach and enrich my Life with the magical experience of being human....even if I cannot see or understand what that purpose is.
Who am I to judge them, to deny them or to discriminate against any newcomer? They are, after all, all guests in my house. I pray that I will learn to welcome them all in with laughter.
All is well in my world!
The Guest House (translated by Coleman Barks: (http://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poetry/poems/guest-house)
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Monday, October 1, 2018
Meet them at the Door Laughing
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
From Rumi's, The Guest House
How many of us, I wonder, can meet these things at the door laughing? Most of us do whatever we can to pretend we are not home when these types of visitors knock on our 'Guest House' doors, don't we?
"Sh@#!!!" we might say, as we, with the reflexes of a NHL goalie, duck below the window frame and turn the light switch off with whatever object we are holding in our hands. Crawling on hands and knees we are going to try to get as far away from the undesirable, unexpected ( and sometimes expected) company, are we not?
Many of us do not see our human lives as"Guest" houses, anyway. We hide, instead, in private houses with "Beware of Dog!" and "Keep off the Grass!" signs where 'Welcome' and 'Come in! We are Open' signs should be. We have bolts and locks and double alarms for protection. And many of us do not open our homes to the friendly visitors, let alone malicious ones.
Dark thoughts, shame and malice are among the many life events we do not want in our private mental spaces. So we shut them out with repression and suppression; we turn our backs on them with denial. We pretend we are not home by numbing out on senseless activity or substances.
And if after all this... these 'guests' continue to push their way in we, with tongue protruding, push with all our might against the opening door. We resist! We do not care how many toes we break in the process or how much peace and effort we must expend. The message is "Keep Out of my house!"
At what cost? Does this bring us the protection we long for? Does it keep our mind's safe and calm? Our lives peaceful and serene? No!
There is no running or hiding away from life's contrast. These visitors were sent to us for a reason. They are on a mission and they will get in, one way or another. If we fail to accept them, they can become intruders pretty fast.
When you are sleeping at night, exhausted from the battle of defending and resisting...they will break in and out of vengeance wreck your home. They will hide in closets and dark corners and attack you when you are not looking. They will pop out when you least expect it!
Resisting them only makes them more persistent. Resistance makes them enemies and violent intruders when all they really want to be are guests!
It is not they that destroys your peace, wrecks your home and leaves your life in a mess. It is your resistance to them, that does that. They have to come in one way or the other and they will. It is up to you to choose whether they will be guests or intruders in your mind.
The next time they come to your door/your Life...try not to resist. See them as the guests they are...welcome them in with a laughing attitude. Know that as long as they are guests they can not harm you. They will come in, stay a bit, do whatever they do but like all 'guests' they will eventually leave. See no harm in them and they will bring no harm.
Learn to laugh at their arrival and their silly antics knowing that there is no reason to fear. You are after all a 'guest house' meant to be welcome and open to all kinds of experiences. Enjoy all guests without resistance and just see how much easier Life will seem!
All is well in my world!
References:
http://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poetry/poems/guest-house
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
From Rumi's, The Guest House
How many of us, I wonder, can meet these things at the door laughing? Most of us do whatever we can to pretend we are not home when these types of visitors knock on our 'Guest House' doors, don't we?
"Sh@#!!!" we might say, as we, with the reflexes of a NHL goalie, duck below the window frame and turn the light switch off with whatever object we are holding in our hands. Crawling on hands and knees we are going to try to get as far away from the undesirable, unexpected ( and sometimes expected) company, are we not?
Many of us do not see our human lives as"Guest" houses, anyway. We hide, instead, in private houses with "Beware of Dog!" and "Keep off the Grass!" signs where 'Welcome' and 'Come in! We are Open' signs should be. We have bolts and locks and double alarms for protection. And many of us do not open our homes to the friendly visitors, let alone malicious ones.
Dark thoughts, shame and malice are among the many life events we do not want in our private mental spaces. So we shut them out with repression and suppression; we turn our backs on them with denial. We pretend we are not home by numbing out on senseless activity or substances.
And if after all this... these 'guests' continue to push their way in we, with tongue protruding, push with all our might against the opening door. We resist! We do not care how many toes we break in the process or how much peace and effort we must expend. The message is "Keep Out of my house!"
At what cost? Does this bring us the protection we long for? Does it keep our mind's safe and calm? Our lives peaceful and serene? No!
There is no running or hiding away from life's contrast. These visitors were sent to us for a reason. They are on a mission and they will get in, one way or another. If we fail to accept them, they can become intruders pretty fast.
When you are sleeping at night, exhausted from the battle of defending and resisting...they will break in and out of vengeance wreck your home. They will hide in closets and dark corners and attack you when you are not looking. They will pop out when you least expect it!
Resisting them only makes them more persistent. Resistance makes them enemies and violent intruders when all they really want to be are guests!
It is not they that destroys your peace, wrecks your home and leaves your life in a mess. It is your resistance to them, that does that. They have to come in one way or the other and they will. It is up to you to choose whether they will be guests or intruders in your mind.
The next time they come to your door/your Life...try not to resist. See them as the guests they are...welcome them in with a laughing attitude. Know that as long as they are guests they can not harm you. They will come in, stay a bit, do whatever they do but like all 'guests' they will eventually leave. See no harm in them and they will bring no harm.
Learn to laugh at their arrival and their silly antics knowing that there is no reason to fear. You are after all a 'guest house' meant to be welcome and open to all kinds of experiences. Enjoy all guests without resistance and just see how much easier Life will seem!
(This is clip art I am not sure how to cite it)
Today belongs to love. Let me not fear.
ACIM-w-274
All is well in my world!
References:
http://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poetry/poems/guest-house
Sunday, September 30, 2018
Some 'Wonder'ful Wisdom from Thich Nhat Hanh
All the wonders of life are already here. They’re calling you. If you can listen to them, you will be able to stop running. What you need, what we all need, is silence. Stop the noise in your mind in order for the wondrous sounds of life to be heard. Then you can begin to live your life authentically and deeply. https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/42431497-silence-the-power-of-quiet-in-a-world-full-of-noise
Are you there for the wonders of this life or are you stuck in one of those seemingly endless traffic roundabouts in your mind? I don't know about you but I seem to keep missing the exit and I am running out of gas. :)
Are you there for the wonders of this life or are you stuck in one of those seemingly endless traffic roundabouts in your mind? I don't know about you but I seem to keep missing the exit and I am running out of gas. :)
If you know how to be happy with the wonders of life that are already there for you to enjoy, you don't need to stress your mind and your body by striving harder and harder, and you don't need to stress this planet by purchasing more and more stuff. The Earth belongs to our children. We have already borrowed too much from it, from them; and the way things have been going, we're not sure we'll be able to give it back to them in decent shape. And who are our children, actually? They are us, because they are our own continuation. So we've been shortchanging our own selves.
Parenting is a wonder that is all about loving presence. I love this:
When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/thich_nhat_hanh_531602It's
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/thich_nhat_hanh_531602It's
It's all good!
Reacting to stats
My stats are showing that I am getting spammer sites accessing my blog that I definitely do not want! This 'faz*****... site that has been showing up on stats... is a sex solicitation site and I do not want to see it to my stats. I do not understand how it is getting past my spammer protection.
Man...that sounded so judgmental, didn't it? I am not judging those who take part in the act of prostitution. I have no right to. So many make a conscious choice to solicit for whatever reason and too many others don't have that choice. Sex trafficking is a very sad reality robbing the lives of men and women everywhere. That breaks my heart. I am not judging and definitely not saying I don't want individuals who may find themselves in these situations, by choice or otherwise, not to read. I just don't want the type of spammer attachment...which has nothing to do with readership...that brings more of the same type of traffic .
Man...I 'reacted' instead of responded when I seen the new site increasing the readership stats. Responses are of the heart which is always kind; reactions are of the mind which is rarely kind
Man...that sounded so judgmental, didn't it? I am not judging those who take part in the act of prostitution. I have no right to. So many make a conscious choice to solicit for whatever reason and too many others don't have that choice. Sex trafficking is a very sad reality robbing the lives of men and women everywhere. That breaks my heart. I am not judging and definitely not saying I don't want individuals who may find themselves in these situations, by choice or otherwise, not to read. I just don't want the type of spammer attachment...which has nothing to do with readership...that brings more of the same type of traffic .
Man...I 'reacted' instead of responded when I seen the new site increasing the readership stats. Responses are of the heart which is always kind; reactions are of the mind which is rarely kind
Respons-ibility Vs Respons-(dis)-ability
One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes...and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.
Eleanor Roosevelt (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/responsibility)
Eleanor's words have been vibrating in my ears since my "Aha!" moment at 530 this am. (Why on earth do moments of profound realization have to hit us so bloody early in the morning lol...especially when we are already so sleep deprived?) It was so intense.
The Aha!
The realization, that pretty much floored me was, "I am responsible to some degree for what my children are continuing to experience and act out as suffering in their lives." Whoa!!! That was a big one. All the ' could of,' 'would of', 'should of' dones of my parenting hit me like a slap in the face, one at a time. I seen so clearly how I was allowing my own 'crap' to get in the way of my parenting responsibility for too long. My own need to hide away from the world, like a sick cat licking its wounds, interfered with my response to my children's needs in a healthy and effective way. I let them down to save myself.
It was a truth that knocked me to the ground. It was a truth I knew all along but denied, rationalized, and intellectualized my way over like I was on some mental John Deere mowing away all the unpleasant grass that was interfering with my need for smooth.
I neglected my responsibility. That's not a nice thought to realize at 530 in the morning and ego can have a field day with it if we let it, overwhelming us with punishment for our sin in the form of guilt and shame. That's because we truly do not understand the nature of the word.
What does responsibility mean?
We often get tripped up on the word responsibility. We see it as meaning obligation, duty, something we 'owe' and 'have to do. It induces fear, anxiety, a tendency to want to avoid it or to over exaggerate it leading to constant guilt and shame. Yet that is because we got it all wrong. Responsibility...respons-ability- is simply the ability to respond...and to act in the way that serves all best.
We all have a certain amount of responsibility to others in this world. We all have the ability to respond rather than react, whether we know it or not. As parents we have an ability to respond to our children in ways that will best serve them. When they are in need we have the ability to respond....but too often we react in self serving, 'self' protecting ways without even realizing it. Ego too often gets in between the situation and our knowledge of our ability to respond. It tricks us into reacting.
Respon-(dis)-ability
Ego is not an altruist parent nor is it a friend to us. It couldn't care less about our children or about us. It just wants to serve itself. Reactivity serves ego, responding from a place of higher wisdom doesn't. It therefore creates reactivity in the form of non-action; too much action...chaotic unfocused action.It will then blame us and shame us for the choices it encouraged us to make; for what we do or do not do as parents; it will then try to soothe us and redeem us with a whole bunch of rationalizations, denials, and intellectualizations just so we do not 'respond' from the higher place that diminishes its power over us. It gives us a long list of reasons why we couldn't, shouldn't and are unable to respond. It creates the respons-dis-ability net for us to fall into and hide under. Ego reacts...it does not respond but we can!
Responsibility is not about taking blame...it is about owning our ability and making better choices for ourselves and others. My hiding away from life has translated into my running and hiding away from the bigger issues my children face. Though I have been dealing with it on a superficial level...able to truthfully say in words what I have done as a parent...I have not been dealing with it on the deeper more Life affirming and 'healing' level. I was not operating from the state I want my children to operate from.
I need to be there for them, not in my ego derived sense of 'me' way. I need to reach out from a state of peace, the kind healing provides. So what if my body is tired. so what if my mind is tired...I do not need to use that as an excuse for not taking part in inspired action for their benefit. ? This is not about 'me'. It is about the greater I. I still need more healing to get there. If I want them to heal I have to be healed.
My best response is owning that I am not healed....admitting that, and making honest steps to heal. And ...not from my head or my physical being but from the only place where healing can take place.
Man...I am not making sense...and I am not sure I care....because it is not in words that my philosophies will be expressed but in my actions. I may need to do a little more...in an inspired way. I need to respond and to know that without ego, I am not disabled.
If we give way to a disturbance, let us learn how to dismiss it and return to peace. ACIM-W-273:1:3
When we respond we dismiss it...when we react ...we resist it.
All is well.
Eleanor Roosevelt (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/responsibility)
Eleanor's words have been vibrating in my ears since my "Aha!" moment at 530 this am. (Why on earth do moments of profound realization have to hit us so bloody early in the morning lol...especially when we are already so sleep deprived?) It was so intense.
The Aha!
The realization, that pretty much floored me was, "I am responsible to some degree for what my children are continuing to experience and act out as suffering in their lives." Whoa!!! That was a big one. All the ' could of,' 'would of', 'should of' dones of my parenting hit me like a slap in the face, one at a time. I seen so clearly how I was allowing my own 'crap' to get in the way of my parenting responsibility for too long. My own need to hide away from the world, like a sick cat licking its wounds, interfered with my response to my children's needs in a healthy and effective way. I let them down to save myself.
It was a truth that knocked me to the ground. It was a truth I knew all along but denied, rationalized, and intellectualized my way over like I was on some mental John Deere mowing away all the unpleasant grass that was interfering with my need for smooth.
I neglected my responsibility. That's not a nice thought to realize at 530 in the morning and ego can have a field day with it if we let it, overwhelming us with punishment for our sin in the form of guilt and shame. That's because we truly do not understand the nature of the word.
What does responsibility mean?
We often get tripped up on the word responsibility. We see it as meaning obligation, duty, something we 'owe' and 'have to do. It induces fear, anxiety, a tendency to want to avoid it or to over exaggerate it leading to constant guilt and shame. Yet that is because we got it all wrong. Responsibility...respons-ability- is simply the ability to respond...and to act in the way that serves all best.
We all have a certain amount of responsibility to others in this world. We all have the ability to respond rather than react, whether we know it or not. As parents we have an ability to respond to our children in ways that will best serve them. When they are in need we have the ability to respond....but too often we react in self serving, 'self' protecting ways without even realizing it. Ego too often gets in between the situation and our knowledge of our ability to respond. It tricks us into reacting.
Respon-(dis)-ability
Ego is not an altruist parent nor is it a friend to us. It couldn't care less about our children or about us. It just wants to serve itself. Reactivity serves ego, responding from a place of higher wisdom doesn't. It therefore creates reactivity in the form of non-action; too much action...chaotic unfocused action.It will then blame us and shame us for the choices it encouraged us to make; for what we do or do not do as parents; it will then try to soothe us and redeem us with a whole bunch of rationalizations, denials, and intellectualizations just so we do not 'respond' from the higher place that diminishes its power over us. It gives us a long list of reasons why we couldn't, shouldn't and are unable to respond. It creates the respons-dis-ability net for us to fall into and hide under. Ego reacts...it does not respond but we can!
Responsibility is not about taking blame...it is about owning our ability and making better choices for ourselves and others. My hiding away from life has translated into my running and hiding away from the bigger issues my children face. Though I have been dealing with it on a superficial level...able to truthfully say in words what I have done as a parent...I have not been dealing with it on the deeper more Life affirming and 'healing' level. I was not operating from the state I want my children to operate from.
I need to be there for them, not in my ego derived sense of 'me' way. I need to reach out from a state of peace, the kind healing provides. So what if my body is tired. so what if my mind is tired...I do not need to use that as an excuse for not taking part in inspired action for their benefit. ? This is not about 'me'. It is about the greater I. I still need more healing to get there. If I want them to heal I have to be healed.
My best response is owning that I am not healed....admitting that, and making honest steps to heal. And ...not from my head or my physical being but from the only place where healing can take place.
Man...I am not making sense...and I am not sure I care....because it is not in words that my philosophies will be expressed but in my actions. I may need to do a little more...in an inspired way. I need to respond and to know that without ego, I am not disabled.
If we give way to a disturbance, let us learn how to dismiss it and return to peace. ACIM-W-273:1:3
When we respond we dismiss it...when we react ...we resist it.
All is well.
Saturday, September 29, 2018
Accept Before You Act
Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you have chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.
-Eckhart Tolle (https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/177877-accept---then-act-whatever-the-present-moment-contains-accept)
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Rumi
Friday, September 28, 2018
Say "No" to Reactivity
Always say "Yes" to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose Life itself, which is now and always now. Surrender to what is. Say "yes" to Life- and see how Life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.
-Eckhart Tolle (https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/4493.Eckhart_Tolle)
Say 'No' to Reactivity
So how do we know that we are reacting to life events ?
Well if you find that you are spending most of your time 'thinking' about your life situations than you are probably reacting. Most of our reactions are mental. Of those 60,000 thoughts, we are said to have a day, 80 percent of them are related to what has happened and what we anticipate will happen in our lives. We are 'reacting' to life event when we think the same tired thoughts over and over again and we are making these life events so much 'worse' than they actually are in most cases.
Do you find yourself needing to move, fix, solve and do? If you find that sitting quietly in a room alone is next to impossible...than you are likely reacting.
If you find yourself complaining about others or life events internally or externally...you are reacting rather than responding. Complaining is a sign that we are resisting life as it is and reaction is all about not being willing or able to settle into our moment, accepting it as it is. If there are any "No! This should not be happening!" or "This is not fair , I won't accept it!" in your vocabulary than you are indeed reacting
If you find yourself unbalanced skipping from one emotion to the next, you are reacting. Do you find your happiness and peace is dependent on just the right thing happening in the way you expect it should? Are you angry one second because someone is not doing what you ask and think they should, and relieved the next when they do? Are you happy about something positive that might happen and sad when it doesn't happen? If so, you are reacting.
Are you fighting against anything or anyone ? Putting effort and struggle into making a stand against those people and conditions of the world that are 'unfair,' 'wrong,' and 'unjust."? I f so you are reacting.
If you are judging anything to be 'unfair", unacceptable," "shouldn't be'...or even 'right' than you are reacting.
Are you a victim of the clock? Are you constantly dwelling and talking about the past as a rationalizing and explanation? Or are you filling your minds and speech with "Whens" and "ifs" that belong to a future time that will only be the 'now' when it arrives? If so you are reacting.
If you are also filling your speech and mind with "I" and "me" and identification with story...than you are reacting to the events of a story you are partially creating.
Can you sit quietly through any experience with the same calm expression on your face? If you can't you are reacting.
Hmmm! Are you reacting?
So if we are finding that our response to life's offerings is one of mental, emotional and behavioral reactivity, what do we do?
The way to deal with reactivity I believe involves the following steps:
All is well.
-Eckhart Tolle (https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/4493.Eckhart_Tolle)
Say 'No' to Reactivity
So how do we know that we are reacting to life events ?
Well if you find that you are spending most of your time 'thinking' about your life situations than you are probably reacting. Most of our reactions are mental. Of those 60,000 thoughts, we are said to have a day, 80 percent of them are related to what has happened and what we anticipate will happen in our lives. We are 'reacting' to life event when we think the same tired thoughts over and over again and we are making these life events so much 'worse' than they actually are in most cases.
Do you find yourself needing to move, fix, solve and do? If you find that sitting quietly in a room alone is next to impossible...than you are likely reacting.
If you find yourself complaining about others or life events internally or externally...you are reacting rather than responding. Complaining is a sign that we are resisting life as it is and reaction is all about not being willing or able to settle into our moment, accepting it as it is. If there are any "No! This should not be happening!" or "This is not fair , I won't accept it!" in your vocabulary than you are indeed reacting
If you find yourself unbalanced skipping from one emotion to the next, you are reacting. Do you find your happiness and peace is dependent on just the right thing happening in the way you expect it should? Are you angry one second because someone is not doing what you ask and think they should, and relieved the next when they do? Are you happy about something positive that might happen and sad when it doesn't happen? If so, you are reacting.
Are you fighting against anything or anyone ? Putting effort and struggle into making a stand against those people and conditions of the world that are 'unfair,' 'wrong,' and 'unjust."? I f so you are reacting.
If you are judging anything to be 'unfair", unacceptable," "shouldn't be'...or even 'right' than you are reacting.
Are you a victim of the clock? Are you constantly dwelling and talking about the past as a rationalizing and explanation? Or are you filling your minds and speech with "Whens" and "ifs" that belong to a future time that will only be the 'now' when it arrives? If so you are reacting.
If you are also filling your speech and mind with "I" and "me" and identification with story...than you are reacting to the events of a story you are partially creating.
Can you sit quietly through any experience with the same calm expression on your face? If you can't you are reacting.
Hmmm! Are you reacting?
So if we are finding that our response to life's offerings is one of mental, emotional and behavioral reactivity, what do we do?
The way to deal with reactivity I believe involves the following steps:
- Be aware of your own reactivity. Don't beat yourself up over it just be aware of it. Look for it when things are not going your way and even when they are. See it in yourself. Ask yourself: How am I feeling physically and emotionally right now? What is my mind telling me that is leading to this emotion? Where does this thought or belief come from: ego or my higher self? Just be alert. As long as you are aware of it; as long as you are seeing it...than you are not getting lost in the crazy notion that you are it.
- Get out of your head and into your physical body: Breathe! Take those nice slow breaths or at least be aware of the breath going in and going out. This will soothe the mind and reconnect you with the body you are in. It will take your focus from your mind to the body.
- Use your five senses to connect you with the here and now: You have to get out of your head and back into the moment. Most reactivity is a result of resisting the moment. ...of making an enemy out of the here and now. A lot of times we run from the present moment into our mental activity. We hide in that head of ours so we do not experience the 'unpleasantness' of the moment. We lose touch with our bodies and the world around us. Get back in your body and work from there. Become aware of your surroundings. what do you see/ What do you hear, smell or taste? What does it feel like?
- Detach from the life event, person or circumstance: All we need to do this is to dis-identify with it. See it as something that is happening around you or even to you but it isn't you. Make the distinction between life circumstance and Life; your reaction and you. As long as you are aware of your reactivity you are detaching from it.
- From here...accept the present moment which will mean accepting where you are, the person in front of you, the situation (whatever it may be), the way your body and mind is feeling. Just say yes! to it. Stop resisting...surrender and let go. Tell yourself "It is what it is, and it's okay." And it is okay...no matter what is happening...it is okay. No matter what the other person may be saying or doing...it is okay. Once you remove reactivity , the circumstance becomes just that...circumstance. There is a simplicity to it and there is a temporary nature to it that the ego doesn't want you to see. Like all things of this physical world, "It too shall pass!". What you are feeling and experiencing will pass as well. It's okay.
- Allow everything to be as it is!
- Become aware of your awareness. Feel the is-ness of you that has been hiding beneath your reactivity. this Is-ness is calm, serene existing in space and silence...it is not one tiny bit disturbed by what is happening to you or around you. Just feel it and know it is there.
- Now ask It: What can I do here, if anything to improve the situation in a way that will not hurt me or others and that will involve a higher Will?
- Listen and take part in the inspired action or inaction as you are guided.
- Respond to Life instead of reacting to life situation.
All is well.
Thursday, September 27, 2018
Peace- filled Faces Reflect Peace -filled Responses
The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes, without speaking, confess the secrets of the heart.
St Jerome ( https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/st_jerome_190064?src=t_face)
I want to talk a little more about the learning that comes from Lao Tzu's story about the old farmer that I wrote about in my last entry. I want to talk about learning to respond to life rather than react.
Are your reactive or responsive?
When faced with unpleasant life situations do you contract and cry out to the universe with anger, frustration and shock, "No! This shouldn't be!!!"? Is your happiness and peace dependent on what happens 'to you' or around you? Do you shrink up with every unkind gesture or word you receive from another? Are you at the mercy of life events that do not turn out the way you think they should? If you answer yes to any of the above questions (I always wanted to say that lol) you are reacting to life rather than responding.
Not alone
Don't fret though because you are not alone. Most of us, well those of us who still operate under ego's guidance ( and that would probably be about 99 % of us :)), react more than we respond. It is the person who is able to put away his ego or her attachment to a socially prescribed idea of what he/she or life should be like that is able to respond like the old man did in the story.
Response differs from reactivity in that in involves so little emotional drama, no desire to miserate or commiserate, no resistance, and no yo-yo like up and down movement of our feelings. At the same time it offers no assurance that everything is going to be great and that we are fortunate or not...it does offer stability and peace. It provides a grounding into who we really are so we can deal with the event, the other person, the body etc...in a way that is healthy and much more Life affirming.
It is written on the face
One way to determine if we are responsive or reactive is through our facial expressions. It is said that our faces reveal what is in our minds. This is such a well known fact that a study was recently done to monitor the driving risk factors associated with angry or overstressed drivers through facial expression alone. https://infoscience.epfl.ch/record/200407/files/icip1024-cam-ready.pdf Our faces can express just how reactive we are both in the car and outside of it.
Do you smile at the person who walks by only when they smile at you? If they shoot you what seems to be a dirty look do your eyes and mouth drop as your heart sinks? If you are waiting for a check in the mail...does your face light up when you open it or fall when the mail box is once again empty? The face says so much about what we are feeling and if we are not feeling peaceful all the time we are reactive. If our facial expressions change quickly from one moment to the next , mirroring the life events we are encountering (and judging) than we are indeed reactive.
The Never Changing Faces of the Wise
When what others would call adversity came to the old farmer's hilltop and he uttered that famous word, "Maybe," his face was calm and peaceful. When what others called good fortune showed up, his face was calm and peaceful. His peace was not dependent on life situation being a certain way. He did not allow emotional reactivity to feed his ego. Instead he just responded with a tiny word of acceptance, faith and hope in possibility. "Maybe"
Sages and saints, those who have truly lost their attachment to ego lies and who see the distinction between life events and Life, exude and exuded that same facial expression as the old man did...one that does not fluctuate with the change of outer world events.
Look at the Dali llama when he is speaking. When he goes from easy friendly topics of discussion to ones that are rather intense, his face does not change much. There always remains a hint of that beautiful infectious smile. Sri Rama Maharishi was reported to keep the same calm expression on his face no matter what was going on around him or to him. It is said that when he was having major surgery on his arm, and only under mild local anesthesia, his face did not flinch through the entire procedure. (Jnani, 2018)
Putting Peace on our Faces and Into Our Lives
When we learn to accept life as it is and not see it as a series of random events that are happening to us or around us; when we give up our self destructive attachment to things and ideas that deny who we really are; when we put away our idea that we are supposed to feel and react a certain way because we are human; and when we stop depending on external things to make us happy...than ...'maybe' we too can exude the face of calm wisdom that shows the world and ourselves that we are ready to respond rather than react. Maybe we can feel and express peace at all times.
All is well in my world.
https://infoscience.epfl.ch/record/200407/files/icip1024-cam-ready.pdf
Sri Ramamna Maharshi (2018) Jnani. Cineflex productions
St Jerome ( https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/st_jerome_190064?src=t_face)
I want to talk a little more about the learning that comes from Lao Tzu's story about the old farmer that I wrote about in my last entry. I want to talk about learning to respond to life rather than react.
Are your reactive or responsive?
When faced with unpleasant life situations do you contract and cry out to the universe with anger, frustration and shock, "No! This shouldn't be!!!"? Is your happiness and peace dependent on what happens 'to you' or around you? Do you shrink up with every unkind gesture or word you receive from another? Are you at the mercy of life events that do not turn out the way you think they should? If you answer yes to any of the above questions (I always wanted to say that lol) you are reacting to life rather than responding.
Not alone
Don't fret though because you are not alone. Most of us, well those of us who still operate under ego's guidance ( and that would probably be about 99 % of us :)), react more than we respond. It is the person who is able to put away his ego or her attachment to a socially prescribed idea of what he/she or life should be like that is able to respond like the old man did in the story.
Response differs from reactivity in that in involves so little emotional drama, no desire to miserate or commiserate, no resistance, and no yo-yo like up and down movement of our feelings. At the same time it offers no assurance that everything is going to be great and that we are fortunate or not...it does offer stability and peace. It provides a grounding into who we really are so we can deal with the event, the other person, the body etc...in a way that is healthy and much more Life affirming.
It is written on the face
One way to determine if we are responsive or reactive is through our facial expressions. It is said that our faces reveal what is in our minds. This is such a well known fact that a study was recently done to monitor the driving risk factors associated with angry or overstressed drivers through facial expression alone. https://infoscience.epfl.ch/record/200407/files/icip1024-cam-ready.pdf Our faces can express just how reactive we are both in the car and outside of it.
Do you smile at the person who walks by only when they smile at you? If they shoot you what seems to be a dirty look do your eyes and mouth drop as your heart sinks? If you are waiting for a check in the mail...does your face light up when you open it or fall when the mail box is once again empty? The face says so much about what we are feeling and if we are not feeling peaceful all the time we are reactive. If our facial expressions change quickly from one moment to the next , mirroring the life events we are encountering (and judging) than we are indeed reactive.
The Never Changing Faces of the Wise
When what others would call adversity came to the old farmer's hilltop and he uttered that famous word, "Maybe," his face was calm and peaceful. When what others called good fortune showed up, his face was calm and peaceful. His peace was not dependent on life situation being a certain way. He did not allow emotional reactivity to feed his ego. Instead he just responded with a tiny word of acceptance, faith and hope in possibility. "Maybe"
Sages and saints, those who have truly lost their attachment to ego lies and who see the distinction between life events and Life, exude and exuded that same facial expression as the old man did...one that does not fluctuate with the change of outer world events.
Look at the Dali llama when he is speaking. When he goes from easy friendly topics of discussion to ones that are rather intense, his face does not change much. There always remains a hint of that beautiful infectious smile. Sri Rama Maharishi was reported to keep the same calm expression on his face no matter what was going on around him or to him. It is said that when he was having major surgery on his arm, and only under mild local anesthesia, his face did not flinch through the entire procedure. (Jnani, 2018)
Putting Peace on our Faces and Into Our Lives
When we learn to accept life as it is and not see it as a series of random events that are happening to us or around us; when we give up our self destructive attachment to things and ideas that deny who we really are; when we put away our idea that we are supposed to feel and react a certain way because we are human; and when we stop depending on external things to make us happy...than ...'maybe' we too can exude the face of calm wisdom that shows the world and ourselves that we are ready to respond rather than react. Maybe we can feel and express peace at all times.
All is well in my world.
https://infoscience.epfl.ch/record/200407/files/icip1024-cam-ready.pdf
Sri Ramamna Maharshi (2018) Jnani. Cineflex productions
Tuesday, September 25, 2018
The Power of Maybe
Not a victory is gained, not a deed of faithfulness or courage is done, except upon a maybe....And often enough the faith beforehand in the uncertified result [the maybe] is the only thing that makes the results come true.
William James; from The Will to Believe (pg 43)
"Maybe", A Story
I am going to begin by telling you an ancient Chinese story. It was originally told by Lao Tzu many, many years ago and later relayed by many spiritual teachers including Allan Watts(see the link below to his narrated animation) and the authors of the wonderful little book I am reading now, Experiencing Spirituality. It goes something like this:
There was once a hard working and devoted farmer who lived way up on the hill above the village. He was a faithful man and loved his horses and he loved his children very much. One day, his favorite horse ran away. His neighbors, hearing the awful news, flocked to his side to offer their condolences. Clicking their tongues, they voiced their desire to commiserate, "Oh this is such terrible luck! What an awful thing to happen. The absolute worse, don't you think?" To which the farmer, with a look of calm acceptance on his face, replied, "Maybe."
The next day, as the farmer was milking his cow in an open stall overlooking the village, he saw in the near distance his own prized stallion leading a herd of beautiful mustangs toward his farm. The horse was not only returning but bringing six more soon to be prized animals with him. The villagers, huffing and puffing with excited effort, ran up the hill behind the herd to congratulate their neighbor. "You must be so happy", they exclaimed. "Isn't this the most wonderful thing to happen? What great fortune, don't you think?" To which the old farmer, not removing himself from the task of milking his cow and with a look of calm, acceptance on his face replied, "Maybe".
Later that week, his eldest son who the old farmer heavily depended on to help with the farm, saddled one of the wild stallions in an attempt to break him in. He was thrown high and far, landing in a way that broke his leg in several places. Knowing that the old farmer would now be forced to watch his beloved son suffer while he was left to run the farm himself, the villagers once again climbed the hill. They gathered around the old man so they could commiserate with him. Clicking their tongues and shaking their heads they cried, "Oh my, I can't believe this happened to you. What terrible, terrible luck, don't you think?" To which the old man replied while he tended to the splint on his son's leg and with a look of calm acceptance on his face, "Maybe".
The day after the fall, conscription officers marched to the village to take away all the young men of fighting age for the emperor's army. The old farmer stood on the top of the hill and watched as many strong, strapping and beloved sons were taken away. Once again, the neighbors saddened and disheartened by their own losses, climbed the hill to tell the old man how fortunate he was for the turn of events. Crying and weeping in their own grief they exclaimed. "Oh how very lucky you are. This is the best thing that could have happened to you, don't you think?" To which the old man replied with a look of calm acceptance on his face, "Maybe".
(I added my own little bits here and there lol).
So what is the moral of the story?
Well Lao Tzu said it best in Verse 58 of the Tao-Te-Ching, Happiness is rooted in misery, misery lurks beneath happiness. Who knows what the future holds?
In other words, do not get too hung up on circumstances or on emotions. We never know what life is going to give us and emotionally reacting as socially expected is not a necessity for peace. Staying calm and accepting of the fact that life is unpredictable, is.
Let all things be exactly as they are. ACIM-W-268
So What Does this have to do with anything?
So what does it all have to with my topic today? I wanted to talk about the not so obvious meaning of the word 'Maybe. ' Maybe is a word of faithfulness that implies there just may be more than this, what we seem to be going through; there may be more to life than circumstance; there 'may be' a way to get through whatever life has to offer; 'there may be' light even when everything appears so dark and 'maybe' there is more blessing than we realize in things that don't go our way.
Maybe doesn't give us any certainties but it certainly offers us hope and possibility, doesn't it? If maybe makes us put away the ego ingrained notion that we are powerless to change or stuck in the emotional holes we are in, for even the briefest of times, is it not a word we should be reciting often? I think it is a pretty darned amazing word, don't you?
Now I am going to get intense!
Depression
I have been thinking heavily on the effects of depression. I see so many people in this world of ours suffering with it. I also see people I love gasping for breath under the hold it has on their minds. I see and hear loved ones choking on negative thoughts as light and beauty gets zapped away from their perceptions and maliciously replaced with veils of darkness and hopelessness.
The Canadian Association of Mental Health reports that one in four people in Canada will be affected by this darkness at some point in their lives. The world statistics are even graver. Depression, in today's society, is very real and most tragically, it can be lethal.
To me...this 'disease' is ego at its miserable worst. Ego strips beautiful minds, with the potential to do so much good, of hope just so it can survive. Plaguing the world with fear based negativity and its selfish attitude, "If I gotta go down, you are coming with me'', it robs so many of the precious will to live.
It saddens me deeply to look upon this global and somewhat 'personal' issue and I feel somehow that 'I" in this little vehicle of skin and bone with just a few meager gifts and talents to offer, am supposed to do something about it. I feel the inspiration to do something about it! Not just to help my loved ones 'get through' it but to help others in the world as well.
Say What?
At the same time the inspiration arises, I shake my head over the immensity of the problem and my own grandiosity. "Who am I, to do anything? What have I got that can help? Is my wish to help just my ego stepping in with its desire to be recognized for some martyrdom award? Isn't help the sunny side of control? What can I possibly do when I can barely take care of myself, let alone my loved ones?
When I silence ego, I hear the faint 'maybe' vibrating inside me and I know that 'maybe' isn't of me but of something so much greater. That 'maybe', may be the response to my prayers. I had asked over and over recently to be shown where I should now serve in this world of ours. As my ego slips away, I so know it isn't all about me anymore. I asked that I be taken where I am needed most.
Is it to this area of mental health, where the inspiration is pointing? 'Maybe'.
Can I do good here? Maybe.
Infuse the world with Maybe.
Maybe, all my part entails is helping to infuse the world with the power of 'maybe'?
I fell in love with the word 'Maybe' today because I suddenly realize its power. This whole problem I see is a result of a lack of maybe in our world. Be it deemed a biochemical imbalance or a human response to trauma....depression is a symptom of a greater 'maybe-less' disease.
So what do we do about it? Besides improving access to and service from our mental health systems; besides removing the damaging stigma from society, once and for all; besides increasing public and professional understanding of the disease, we, as people, need to infuse this anemic world with 'maybe'. We need to offer faith in something bigger than our own little 'me-sense'.
Is that where I come in? May be.
Could it be in spirituality ,that the answer to depression lies? Maybe
I recently came across a wonderful TED Talk Video on the possibility that depression is not just a biochemical disorder or a response to life circumstance...but it could also be a door that opens to something greater. It could be gateway for the Divine to come through.
Could depression take us closer to God? "May be"
If anything, it can be the solution to this epidemic, may be. The clinical psychologist and scientific researcher speaking in this video states that the frontal cortex of people with depression was shown to be thin and fragile...but in those who claimed a spiritual faith/practice( which they did not doubt)...the cortex is thick and strong. Hmm!
Could science prove that spirituality is the best antidepressant there is? "May be"
Whether science proves it or not, it is time for me to do my small, possibly insignificant part, to bring hope back to the hopeless. It is time to encourage the use of the word that inspires faith and is inspired by faith. It is time to fill the world with the possibility of 'May be."
And I don't mean maybe. :)
Suppose, however thickly evil crowds upon you ,that your unconquerable subjectivity proves to be their match, and that you find a more wonderful joy than any passive pleasure can bring in trusting ever the larger whole[spirituality]. Have you not now made a life worth living on those terms? What sort of a thing would life really be, with your qualities ready for a tussle with it, if it only brought fair weather and gave these higher faculties of yours no scope? Please remember that optimism and pessimism are definitions of the world, and our own reactions on the world, small as they are in bulk, are integral parts of the whole thing, and necessarily help to determine the definition. They may even be the decisive elements in determining the definition. (James; page 43-44)
Maybe the use of 'maybe' could be the decisive element that brings the world from pessimism to optimism; and from darkness in to the light.
All is well in my world!
References:
ACIM Workbook; Lesson 268
James, William ( 1896 ) Excerpts from The will to Believe as retrieved from: https://books.google.ca/books?id=3PxcDwAAQBAJ&pg=PA43&lpg=PA43&dq=Not+a+victory+is+gained,+not+a+deed+of+faithfulness+or+courage+is+done,+except+upon+a+maybe&source=bl&ots=56Y0niqHP2&sig=yRW8gwM-zjeAacyV9_DMB6Ibcxo&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiOr8j1jtbdAhVpplkKHaE2AWsQ6AEwAXoECAkQAQ#v=onepage&q=Not%20a%20victory%20is%20gained%2C%20not%20a%20deed%20of%20faithfulness%20or%20courage%20is%20done%2C%20except%20upon%20a%20maybe&f=false
Kurtz, E. & Ketcham, K. (2014) Experiencing Spirituality: Finding Meaning Through Storytelling. New York; Penguin
Miller, Lisa (July, 2014) Depression and Spiritual Awakening-Two sides of one door. TEDx Teachers College. Retrieved https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7c5t6FkvUG0
Tao-Te-Ching (March, 2016) Allan Watts on the Tao of Gain and Loss http://tao-in-you.com/alan-watts-on-tao-of-gain-and-loss/
Chapter 58, Tao-Te Ching. Retrieved from Wassu http://www.wussu.com/laotzu/laotzu58.html
William James; from The Will to Believe (pg 43)
"Maybe", A Story
I am going to begin by telling you an ancient Chinese story. It was originally told by Lao Tzu many, many years ago and later relayed by many spiritual teachers including Allan Watts(see the link below to his narrated animation) and the authors of the wonderful little book I am reading now, Experiencing Spirituality. It goes something like this:
There was once a hard working and devoted farmer who lived way up on the hill above the village. He was a faithful man and loved his horses and he loved his children very much. One day, his favorite horse ran away. His neighbors, hearing the awful news, flocked to his side to offer their condolences. Clicking their tongues, they voiced their desire to commiserate, "Oh this is such terrible luck! What an awful thing to happen. The absolute worse, don't you think?" To which the farmer, with a look of calm acceptance on his face, replied, "Maybe."
The next day, as the farmer was milking his cow in an open stall overlooking the village, he saw in the near distance his own prized stallion leading a herd of beautiful mustangs toward his farm. The horse was not only returning but bringing six more soon to be prized animals with him. The villagers, huffing and puffing with excited effort, ran up the hill behind the herd to congratulate their neighbor. "You must be so happy", they exclaimed. "Isn't this the most wonderful thing to happen? What great fortune, don't you think?" To which the old farmer, not removing himself from the task of milking his cow and with a look of calm, acceptance on his face replied, "Maybe".
Later that week, his eldest son who the old farmer heavily depended on to help with the farm, saddled one of the wild stallions in an attempt to break him in. He was thrown high and far, landing in a way that broke his leg in several places. Knowing that the old farmer would now be forced to watch his beloved son suffer while he was left to run the farm himself, the villagers once again climbed the hill. They gathered around the old man so they could commiserate with him. Clicking their tongues and shaking their heads they cried, "Oh my, I can't believe this happened to you. What terrible, terrible luck, don't you think?" To which the old man replied while he tended to the splint on his son's leg and with a look of calm acceptance on his face, "Maybe".
The day after the fall, conscription officers marched to the village to take away all the young men of fighting age for the emperor's army. The old farmer stood on the top of the hill and watched as many strong, strapping and beloved sons were taken away. Once again, the neighbors saddened and disheartened by their own losses, climbed the hill to tell the old man how fortunate he was for the turn of events. Crying and weeping in their own grief they exclaimed. "Oh how very lucky you are. This is the best thing that could have happened to you, don't you think?" To which the old man replied with a look of calm acceptance on his face, "Maybe".
(I added my own little bits here and there lol).
So what is the moral of the story?
Well Lao Tzu said it best in Verse 58 of the Tao-Te-Ching, Happiness is rooted in misery, misery lurks beneath happiness. Who knows what the future holds?
In other words, do not get too hung up on circumstances or on emotions. We never know what life is going to give us and emotionally reacting as socially expected is not a necessity for peace. Staying calm and accepting of the fact that life is unpredictable, is.
Let all things be exactly as they are. ACIM-W-268
So What Does this have to do with anything?
So what does it all have to with my topic today? I wanted to talk about the not so obvious meaning of the word 'Maybe. ' Maybe is a word of faithfulness that implies there just may be more than this, what we seem to be going through; there may be more to life than circumstance; there 'may be' a way to get through whatever life has to offer; 'there may be' light even when everything appears so dark and 'maybe' there is more blessing than we realize in things that don't go our way.
Maybe doesn't give us any certainties but it certainly offers us hope and possibility, doesn't it? If maybe makes us put away the ego ingrained notion that we are powerless to change or stuck in the emotional holes we are in, for even the briefest of times, is it not a word we should be reciting often? I think it is a pretty darned amazing word, don't you?
Now I am going to get intense!
Depression
I have been thinking heavily on the effects of depression. I see so many people in this world of ours suffering with it. I also see people I love gasping for breath under the hold it has on their minds. I see and hear loved ones choking on negative thoughts as light and beauty gets zapped away from their perceptions and maliciously replaced with veils of darkness and hopelessness.
The Canadian Association of Mental Health reports that one in four people in Canada will be affected by this darkness at some point in their lives. The world statistics are even graver. Depression, in today's society, is very real and most tragically, it can be lethal.
To me...this 'disease' is ego at its miserable worst. Ego strips beautiful minds, with the potential to do so much good, of hope just so it can survive. Plaguing the world with fear based negativity and its selfish attitude, "If I gotta go down, you are coming with me'', it robs so many of the precious will to live.
It saddens me deeply to look upon this global and somewhat 'personal' issue and I feel somehow that 'I" in this little vehicle of skin and bone with just a few meager gifts and talents to offer, am supposed to do something about it. I feel the inspiration to do something about it! Not just to help my loved ones 'get through' it but to help others in the world as well.
Say What?
At the same time the inspiration arises, I shake my head over the immensity of the problem and my own grandiosity. "Who am I, to do anything? What have I got that can help? Is my wish to help just my ego stepping in with its desire to be recognized for some martyrdom award? Isn't help the sunny side of control? What can I possibly do when I can barely take care of myself, let alone my loved ones?
When I silence ego, I hear the faint 'maybe' vibrating inside me and I know that 'maybe' isn't of me but of something so much greater. That 'maybe', may be the response to my prayers. I had asked over and over recently to be shown where I should now serve in this world of ours. As my ego slips away, I so know it isn't all about me anymore. I asked that I be taken where I am needed most.
Is it to this area of mental health, where the inspiration is pointing? 'Maybe'.
Can I do good here? Maybe.
Infuse the world with Maybe.
Maybe, all my part entails is helping to infuse the world with the power of 'maybe'?
I fell in love with the word 'Maybe' today because I suddenly realize its power. This whole problem I see is a result of a lack of maybe in our world. Be it deemed a biochemical imbalance or a human response to trauma....depression is a symptom of a greater 'maybe-less' disease.
So what do we do about it? Besides improving access to and service from our mental health systems; besides removing the damaging stigma from society, once and for all; besides increasing public and professional understanding of the disease, we, as people, need to infuse this anemic world with 'maybe'. We need to offer faith in something bigger than our own little 'me-sense'.
Is that where I come in? May be.
Could it be in spirituality ,that the answer to depression lies? Maybe
I recently came across a wonderful TED Talk Video on the possibility that depression is not just a biochemical disorder or a response to life circumstance...but it could also be a door that opens to something greater. It could be gateway for the Divine to come through.
Could depression take us closer to God? "May be"
If anything, it can be the solution to this epidemic, may be. The clinical psychologist and scientific researcher speaking in this video states that the frontal cortex of people with depression was shown to be thin and fragile...but in those who claimed a spiritual faith/practice( which they did not doubt)...the cortex is thick and strong. Hmm!
Could science prove that spirituality is the best antidepressant there is? "May be"
Whether science proves it or not, it is time for me to do my small, possibly insignificant part, to bring hope back to the hopeless. It is time to encourage the use of the word that inspires faith and is inspired by faith. It is time to fill the world with the possibility of 'May be."
And I don't mean maybe. :)
Suppose, however thickly evil crowds upon you ,that your unconquerable subjectivity proves to be their match, and that you find a more wonderful joy than any passive pleasure can bring in trusting ever the larger whole[spirituality]. Have you not now made a life worth living on those terms? What sort of a thing would life really be, with your qualities ready for a tussle with it, if it only brought fair weather and gave these higher faculties of yours no scope? Please remember that optimism and pessimism are definitions of the world, and our own reactions on the world, small as they are in bulk, are integral parts of the whole thing, and necessarily help to determine the definition. They may even be the decisive elements in determining the definition. (James; page 43-44)
Maybe the use of 'maybe' could be the decisive element that brings the world from pessimism to optimism; and from darkness in to the light.
All is well in my world!
References:
ACIM Workbook; Lesson 268
James, William ( 1896 ) Excerpts from The will to Believe as retrieved from: https://books.google.ca/books?id=3PxcDwAAQBAJ&pg=PA43&lpg=PA43&dq=Not+a+victory+is+gained,+not+a+deed+of+faithfulness+or+courage+is+done,+except+upon+a+maybe&source=bl&ots=56Y0niqHP2&sig=yRW8gwM-zjeAacyV9_DMB6Ibcxo&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiOr8j1jtbdAhVpplkKHaE2AWsQ6AEwAXoECAkQAQ#v=onepage&q=Not%20a%20victory%20is%20gained%2C%20not%20a%20deed%20of%20faithfulness%20or%20courage%20is%20done%2C%20except%20upon%20a%20maybe&f=false
Kurtz, E. & Ketcham, K. (2014) Experiencing Spirituality: Finding Meaning Through Storytelling. New York; Penguin
Miller, Lisa (July, 2014) Depression and Spiritual Awakening-Two sides of one door. TEDx Teachers College. Retrieved https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7c5t6FkvUG0
Tao-Te-Ching (March, 2016) Allan Watts on the Tao of Gain and Loss http://tao-in-you.com/alan-watts-on-tao-of-gain-and-loss/
Chapter 58, Tao-Te Ching. Retrieved from Wassu http://www.wussu.com/laotzu/laotzu58.html
Monday, September 24, 2018
They Exist; They Are
Truth, wisdom, goodness, beauty, the fragrance of a rose: All resemble spirituality in that they are intangible, ineffable realities.
We may know them, but we can never grasp them with our hands or with our words. These entities have neither color nor texture; they cannot be gauged in inches or ounces or degrees; they do not make a noise to be measured in decibels; they have no distinct feel as do silk, wood, or cement; they give no odor; they have no taste; they occupy no space.
And yet they exist; they are. Love exists, evil exists, beauty exists, and spirituality exists...We do not define them; they define us.
Beautiful words from:
Kurtz, E. & Ketcham, K. ( 2014 ) Experiencing Spirituality: Finding Meaning Through Story Telling. New York: Penguin. (page 31)
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