As I elevate my abundance consciousness, I do my part to heal the world.
Deepak Chopra
Meditation Series
There was, I discovered, a 22nd day to the 21 days of Meditation for Abundance. In this last meditation, Deepak Chopra offers a lovely visualization of all of humanity sitting around a glowing light holding hands and smiling. This light, he explained, is the same light that is in all of us and the light that we salute in the greeting Namaste: The Divine Light in me sees and honours the Divine Light in you. If we all truly recognized the beauty in that salutation, the world would certainly be a different place eh? There would be peace, harmony, Love...and I don't mean the romantic kind... I mean...Love, as the energy of Life, flowing everywhere.
The First Time
So I finished this meditation series for the second time and I realized I now look at abundance so differently, than I did the first time I did this series. Then, I was focusing on having money come into "my" personal experience. I was just beginning then to feel the lack of money in my life, to get wrapped up in that "scarcity" ideology. I had just gone through my first year off work with no income. I had cashed in everything I could with the exception of my life insurance in fear this physical thing I was going through would end my life and leave my children destitute. And I was clinging to "my" house because I needed to keep a roof over my children's heads. I mean I was practicing mindfulness and meditation then but I was so stressed I had a hard time settling my "monkey mind". And I had not quite reached the level of understanding that I am at now. I was resisting what is...big time, fighting and struggling, so so angry and resentful that a system I thought would be there to support me wasn't. I was also very self-centered. Viewing myself at the center of all big universal and karmic events. I could not see beyond my own suffering ( and that of my loved ones) to the universal nature of suffering. It was a "look at what is happening to "me and mine " type of experience. It was brutal.
Something within told me to pull back a bit in my striving tendency, to step back...a bit...away from trying to change what was happening in the external world that seemed to be impacting "me" and just go inward...go inward first and touch that place within that would allow for radiation outward. I didn't necessarily stop "doing". I didn't stop trying to rectify what I perceived strongly as a grave injustice...but I made a commitment to go inward first and act from there if I had to. So around that time, I came across this meditation series and it seemed perfect. My mindset was: I can fix my outer experience by going to my inner one. If I become more peaceful, my outer world will be less challenging. My ultimate goal then was not to establish peace of mind...it was to create a positive change in my outer world through peace of mind. Through establishing more clarity and peace of mind, I believed, I would find abundance. It was abundance...or at least a freedom from this suffering.... that I was seeking.
That is how I approached this meditation series for the first time, not realizing I still had everything backward. Needless to say, my external circumstances didn't improve a whole lot...some for sure...but like all life events I had some ups and a lot of downs. My financial situation did not change very much at all...there was a sudden short-term influx of income that I used very wisely. It allowed me to first of all, pay back my personal debt ( I hate owing money!), give my children some financial assistance as I had not been able to do previously, then it gave me the means to create a yoga studio and a rental space for sustainability. I felt strong and almost stable financially for the first time in so, so long but as there are ups with Life, there are also downs...COVID hit as soon as that was established, and neither investments were able to come to fruition. Of course, the old habitual and conditioned mindset in me just used that as evidence that the universe was still out to pay me back for some type of Karmic debt I owed. I went quickly back into a "scarcity" mindset. Throughout it all, I clung to this house, even when my children grew up and had another place to stay. I clung because of the idea it represented to me. As long as I had this piece of material property in my name I was not completely destitute. I had something that could redeem me in society's eyes.
The Second Time
Of course, my committed practice of meditation and mindfulness, my studying and writing about what lies beyond the obvious, and my devoted commitment to awakening...has led me to see the unskillfulness of my previous ways. "Peace of Mind despite what was/is happening in my external world" became my ultimate goal. So when I happened upon this meditation series years later, I approached it differently. I did not strive to see "monetary" abundance coming my way, and I still don't...I visualize peace of mind in abundance coming to me and my loved ones. I also seek it, pray for it and wish to know how I can physically act in service of it...for all of humanity. It isn't a "me-me" thing anymore. I also see so clearly that suffering is not individualized, and neither is freedom from it; neither is abundance and well-being in the true sense.
I listen to the centering thought from Day 22 of this meditation practice and say, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" I walk away from this series with a deeply sincere wish to serve, to help bring an end to suffering in any way I can. Ironically, this renewed realization comes to me just as I finish my Meditaton and Mindfulness Teacher training. Hmm! Do you think that is synchronicity in action? I am now willing, I beleive, to let go of this house and the remaining "things" in my life that do not serve Self or the greater picture. I am willing to use what ever gifts, talents, mental and physical ability I have left to serve Life. And not for the sake of manifesting any positive change in my external circumstances but simply for the peace of mind it will provide me and others. I want to serve with what I have. I just need to know how.
So I ask Life to show me what it is I am to "do" to help heal the world?
Pretty crazy, huh?
All is well in my world.
Deepak Chopra/ The Chopra Center (n.d.) 21 Days of Abundaance Meditation Challenge. Spotify
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