Delightful Lesson

 When my body has succumbed to the attacks of painful illness,

I will not count on medical relief,

But take the very illness as a path and by its power

Remove the obscurations blocking me,

and use it to create the qualities worthwhile.

When illness rears its head (5), sheer delight! 

Gotsampa and The Seven Delights (11th Century)

as found in Pema Chodron's How to Meditate,page 149

Delight? Sounds a little dramatic, I know, but this 11th century Buddhist Monk was very wise.  And Life is very wise  dropping this page, with these words of wisdom on it, right in front of me when I needed it the most. I mean...let me clarify that I am not in an "attack of painful illness".  I am just experiencing some pain in my body that is indicative that there is something going on in there that is not "normal". I can handle the discomfort...would not want it to get much worse...but I can definitely handle this.  Any real suffering that comes from this is a mental and emotional reaction to the challenge of finding out what is causing it. I was erroneously depending on "medical relief" when , for whatever reason, I seem to have challenge after challenge getting a medical diagnosis for any apparent illness my body experiences, let alone relief. It has left me wondering, "Why?  Why are  all these obscure and bizarre things happening to me in my health seeking? Why this challenge?" I have  spent many years asking that question and with this new little issue that question was fully activated once again...as was  all the resistance and unskillful and unwholesome habitual ways of dealing with it. Sigh! 

So I look down at this page yesterday as I am skimming through this great little book for something on Tonglen...and the words, I will not count on medical relief...hit me like an arrow between my eyeballs. I have been walking around, holding my side, frustrated and down, filling my mind and my moments with  memory and "waiting" for the ultrasound which is another two weeks away. As if that is somehow going to give me relief from this . All the while there is this amazing teacher standing before me opening up this great lesson, "Here, look what I have for you. Isn't it wonderful? I am giving you another opportunity to unblock your blocks, untangle your knots and to grow into your higher self. "

Hmm!  Now that is the way to look at it! To look at all challenge, not just physical pain and illness! Lesson and Blessing!

When the whole thing's just not working, everything's lined up against you,

Don't try to find some way to change it all.

Here, the point to make your practice is to reverse the way you see it.

Don't try to make t stop or to improve.

Adverse conditions happen(7); when they do it's so delightful.

I also heard Eckhart Tolle saying today that we could look at all challenges as if we have chosen them.

Pema Chodron (2013)How to Meditate.  Boulder: Sounds True