Not the Problem

 

Craving brings pain; craving brings fear. If you do not  yield to  craving you will be free from  pain and fear.

The Buddha

Relieving Pain

So you have a belly ache that you are holding back lamenting about to your friend. You are curling forward into a little ball with a clenched fist to your abdomen. 

Your friend, concerned, asks,"What's wrong?" 

"Life sucks right now. Gut's hurting cuz I ran out of Pepto Bismuth."

"That's not good man.  I will run to the store and get you some."

"That would be great. Appreciate it!"

When he comes back to you with a big bottle of the pink stuff, you gulp down a big swig and within about ten minutes you are feeling pretty good.

"All better?" your friend asks seeing the relief on your face and in your posture. 

"Yep!  Problem solved. Life is pretty good right now." You answer with a smile on your face because Life in that moment is pretty darned good. You have no pain. 

Hmm! What is wrong with this scenario? What was the cause of  your problem? The fact that you didn't have something on you that relieved pain?  Was that the real problem?  

If so...let's look at this way.

Craving

Your friend is an intravenous drug user just out of rehab where he had no drug in his system for three months.  He now has such a low  tolerance to the stuff that a hit could kill him. He wants to stay clean but also knows it would feel so very good to get high, almost like the first time. He goes back out around his friends who are using and he is suddenly overwhelmed by craving, so much so he is almost in physical pain, bending over with fist to belly when you come across him.

Concerned , you ask, "What's wrong Bud?"

" I need a hit."

"You don't have one to take?"

"No."

"Well I will go get one for you."

And you being the good friend, go out and score a hit for him.  You gather some external remedy for his pain and  bring it back just when his craving is at its peek. He takes it.

Within minutes, one way or another, you are going to see a more peaceful looking friend. If he survives it, he will likely be in bliss, on top of the world. You did good then, didn't you?  You ended the craving. You solved the problem . You ended the suffering of your friend by giving him that external thing that was missing from his life, that thing he so desperately desired, just like your friend ended your suffering by giving you what was missing from yours that could bring relief...the Pepto Bismuth. 

Did We Solve The Problem? 

Hmm! Was the real problem, you and your friend faced , the fact that  at that moment of pain and craving neither of you had the external thing that past memory told you would relieve it? Or does it go a little deeper than that?

Let's fast forward a week or two.

You have gone through the big bottle of Pepto Bismuth your friend had gotten for you because every four hours after the first swig you took,  the pain had returned and you needed another and another swig to stop the pain. You had your hands wrapped  tightly around that bottle all week in fear you would misplace it when the pain came back.  You clung to this pain relieving remedy to the point all muscles sin your hand and arm began to throb uncontrollably. And because you didn't want to put the bottle down you could only use one arm.

Your friend, if he is still alive, is now out on the street quickly building up his tolerance The blissful feeling he gets each time he uses  is never the same as that first hit he took after rehab.  He can't just seem to get there. So he is endlessly and fruitlessly seeking what he is desiring .  He is also needing a stronger and stronger dose each time and needing it more frequently  just to end the pain of craving and to avoid the pain of  withdrawal. He will do almost anything to get it. His whole body is breaking down because of his lifestyle choices. His whole life becomes about getting this thing. 

Wow!  Was the problem really solved in either case, then? Are either of those scenarios  the way we would  want to live? Do we want to spend our lives desperately clinging to a bottle of Pepto Bismul so we can avoid pain or chasing after something we can never get again that may actually kill us?

Of course not, right?  Yet this is the way most of us live  and the way most of us encourage others to live to a different degree. We spend our lives chasing after what we call a pleasant feeling and avoiding, at all costs, the unpleasant, looking to the lack of and the inability  to reach these specific things mind tells us we need as the source of our so called problems. 

Not the Problem

The first thing we need to do is get to the root of the problem.  We see that suffering exists , we know there is a cause for suffering and then we look deeply into that cause.  Hmm!

Was the lack of Pepto-bismuth the cause of the pain in the first scenario?  No, of course not.  You obviously had something going on in your gut.  Maybe an ulcer that needed to be treated.  All the Pepto Bismul did was relieve the pain temporarily. It was a band-aid solution...it did not get to the crux of the problem.  In fact, it prevented you from getting to it.  You became so dependent on the external relief you did not attempt to go in and fix the internal issue. On top of that, Pepto Bismul can make an ulcer so much worse over time. It can cause more illness and therefore more suffering in the long run. Our desperate desire to relive pain can often lead to full fledged suffering.  Your clinging to the bottle was affecting other areas of your life. 

Is your friend better off for having his desire initially  fulfilled in the second scenario? Of course not, right? We made it so much worse for him! He was clean for three months and now he is desperately craving and seeking for something he will never get again. The problem was not in his not having a hit...it went deeper, didn't it, to the fact that he felt like he needed the hit?   His addiction...his craving and habitual  seeking to use... was the real problem not being without a hit.  In fact, not-using was his only solution. 

The Problem is Craving and Resistance

When will we learn that any so called problem we have is an internal one that can never be fixed by anything out there.  Our craving and our over-resistance to pain is the problem...and that is an internal issue involving an internal solution. 

Nothing out there, be it wealth, recognition, success, the perfect partner, an over the  counter drug or a street one will solve our pain in a healthy, lasting way.  All these things, if we are lucky enough to achieve them, can relieve pain but will never take it away for long.  Nothing in the external world lasts so they are the most unreliable of remedies. 

We need to get to the root cause, our desiring, our clinging and our resistance to what is...is the real problem. We need to go there.

I am not saying don't take a swig of Pepto when you need it nor am I saying not to enjoy things that bring pleasure ( well...certainly stay away from the heroine!)...just don't see these things as the cause or the solution to your suffering. Get to the root cause.

All is well. 

Michael Singer/Sounds True July, 2021) The Michael Singer Podcast: Giving Menaing To the Time Between Your Birth and Death. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgNZs6_GmQs