Do not be willing to let anything that happens in life be important enough to close your heart over.
Michael Singer
Awe! What a lovely day. I feel so completely blessed right now. I had all my children and their children under one roof last night and it was just soooo nice! I sat on the couch with all three grandchildren at one time and thought to myself: How does it get any better than this? My heart was opened...way, way open and all the other less than positive feelings I had been watering...the kind that closes hearts ...were pushed aside by these positive feelings of peace, joy, love and abundance.
The Closing of a Heart Grinch Size
Since Christmas, I found myself stewing a bit in resentment and frustration ...looking to place responsibility for that onto others, building story, clinging...just so I could rationalize the watering of these feelings. I was thinking about the money I spent, and the money spent on me on gifts that seemed way too extravagant and unnecessary....so much so I could not appreciate them...at all. I couldn't even pick them up to have a good look at them. I was thinking about how challenging it is for me to get all my children together at the same time. I had purposefully planned to cook on boxing day as to not interfere with the plans of others to go to other places on Christmas. I was informed some would not make it. I was just left with a sickening feeling and it triggered some suppressed and repressed emotions...some knots...some samskaras... and all this stuff started to seep out of me . My heart was closing . I was not nice to be around. I watched it all go down.
The Opening of a Heart Cindy Lou Size
At some point, I said enough is enough. I am going to transform these difficult emotions into something peaceful. To begin the transformation, I laid myself down yesterday and did a Yoga Nidra practice. I could feel my body letting go and releasing some of this stuff. It was lovely. I then got up from that, put away my expectations and my attachments to this idea of Christmas and how others should be in it. I made a big supper and sent out the reminder to everyone that if they can make it great. If they can't, that's okay too. I decided to focus on the moment and just how good it feels to be able to prepare a meal for whoever would be here to eat it...the peeling of vegetables, the cooking of a turkey ( yes I cook meat for my family even though I don't eat it...and I do my best to make sure almost every bit of it gets eaten so that the young turkey's life was not wasted.) , and the making of a favorite dessert. I cleaned up a bit in an easy no pressure way. I got myself ready...and when the time came those who was not expecting showed up and the house was full, the meal was eaten and appreciated ( thanks young turkey!). My house was full of happy voices and I realized my heart was wide open.
So I feel blessed! This is what being rich is all about. Man I am so very rich! I may not be able to pay the mortgage next month but ... I am rich!
A Christmas Miracle
And I am so grateful for this Christmas miracle...the opening of my heart. The miracle here isn't that a turn of pleasant circumstances opened my heart but that the intention to keep my heart open led to a very pleasing experience. So blessed!!
All is well!
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