Who Is This?
I came out alone on my way to my tryst.
But who is this that follows me in the silent dark?
I move aside to avoid his presence but I escape him not.
He makes the dust rise from the earth with his swagger;
he adds his loud voice to every word that I utter.
He is my own little self, my lord, he knows no shame;
but I am ashamed to come to thy door in his company.
But who is this that follows me in the silent dark?
I move aside to avoid his presence but I escape him not.
He makes the dust rise from the earth with his swagger;
he adds his loud voice to every word that I utter.
He is my own little self, my lord, he knows no shame;
but I am ashamed to come to thy door in his company.
I love Tagore's poems. They are so real and enlightening. This one came from his 1913 Nobel Prize winning collection, Gitanjali (Song Offerings) (Partha & Sen, 2015) and it speaks to the idea of the unforgiving mind or the ego in our lives. It is hard to leave this mind, this "little self" behind but leave it behind is what we want to do when we see how annoying and embarrassing it can be, when we see how much it impacts our lives in a negative way.
So why do we want to move aside, to avoid the presence of our "own little self"?
The unforgiving mind is torn with doubt, confused about itself and all it sees; afraid and angry, weak and blustering, afraid to go ahead, afraid to waken or to go to sleep, afraid of every sound, yet more afraid of stillness; terrified of darkness, yet more terrified to approach the light. What can the unforgiving mind perceive but its damnation? What can it behold except the proof that all its sins are real? (ACIM,w-121:3:1-3, page 214)
Who would want the company of a mind that is doubtful and confused about everything, afraid, angry, loud and obnoxious in its defenses? Who would want this 'self' following us around that is paralyzed with fear but at the same time cannot sit still because it fears that more; terrified of darkness but even more so of light?
This company, too many of us keep, does not want us going to the door of the Divine because it fears it will be "damned" there. When we become aware of it, however, as it "follows us in the dark," we realize we do not want to take it into our spiritual seeking...into our meeting with the Divine. But take it we must when we knock on the door of higher understanding.
It is there and only there will we be taught how to detach from its clinging hold once and for all. As A Course says, Through Him you learn how to forgive the self you think you made, and let it disappear. (ACIM, w-121:6-4,page 214-215) It will be forgiven there and with that forgiveness, it will gently fade away.
All is well in my world.
References
Partha Pratim Ray & B.K. Sen (August 2015) Publications of
Rabrindath Tagore; A Biblimetric Study in Annals of Library and Information
Study. Vol 62; pages 177-185. Retrieved from http://nopr.niscair.res.in/bitstream/123456789/32290/1/ALIS%2062%283%29%20177-185.pdf
Tagore, Rabrindranath (n.d.) Who Is This? Poem Hunters. Retrieved from https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/who-is-this/
Foundations For Inner Peace (2007) Lesson 121. Work Book For Students in A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume. Third Edition. Mill Valley: Foundation For Inner Peace.
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