In the Company of Ego

 

Who Is This?

 

I came out alone on my way to my tryst.
But who is this that follows me in the silent dark?

I move aside to avoid his presence but I escape him not.

He makes the dust rise from the earth with his swagger;
he adds his loud voice to every word that I utter.

He is my own little self, my lord, he knows no shame;
but I am ashamed to come to thy door in his company. 

Rabindranath Tagore (https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/who-is-this/)

 I love Tagore's poems.  They are so real and enlightening.  This one came from his 1913 Nobel Prize winning collection, Gitanjali (Song Offerings) (Partha & Sen, 2015) and it speaks to the idea of the unforgiving mind or the ego in our lives. It is hard to leave this mind, this "little self" behind but leave it behind is what we want to do when we see how annoying and embarrassing it can be, when we see how much it impacts our lives in a negative way.  

 So why do we want to move aside, to avoid the  presence of our "own little self"?

The unforgiving mind is torn with doubt, confused about itself and all it sees; afraid and angry, weak and blustering, afraid to go ahead, afraid to waken or to go to sleep, afraid of every sound, yet more afraid of stillness; terrified of darkness, yet more terrified to approach the light. What can the unforgiving mind perceive but its damnation? What can it behold except the proof that all its sins are real? (ACIM,w-121:3:1-3, page 214)

 Who would want the company of a mind that is doubtful and confused about everything, afraid, angry, loud and obnoxious in its defenses?  Who would want this 'self' following us around that is paralyzed with fear but at the same time cannot sit still because it fears that more; terrified of darkness but even more so of light?

This company, too many of us keep, does not want us going to the door of the Divine because it fears it will be "damned" there. When we become aware of it, however,  as it "follows us in the dark," we realize we do not want to take it  into our spiritual seeking...into our meeting with the Divine. But take it we must when we knock on the door of higher understanding. 

It is there and only there will we be taught how to detach from its clinging hold once and for all. As A Course says, Through Him you learn how to forgive the self you think you made, and let it disappear. (ACIM, w-121:6-4,page 214-215) It  will be forgiven there and with that forgiveness, it will gently fade away.

 All is well in my world.

 

References

 

Partha Pratim Ray & B.K. Sen (August 2015) Publications of Rabrindath Tagore; A Biblimetric Study in Annals of Library and Information Study. Vol 62; pages 177-185. Retrieved from  http://nopr.niscair.res.in/bitstream/123456789/32290/1/ALIS%2062%283%29%20177-185.pdf

Tagore, Rabrindranath (n.d.) Who Is This? Poem Hunters. Retrieved from  https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/who-is-this/

 

Foundations For Inner Peace (2007) Lesson 121. Work Book For Students in A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume. Third Edition. Mill Valley: Foundation For Inner Peace.

The Key to Happiness

Coming down with a bit of a bug so the gung-ho  inspiration I had first thing this morning has been somewhat supressed.  :) I had intended to write when I returned from breakfast but knew I could not put off washing the floor for one more day so...I bit the bullet and went at it.  That chore seemed to take away the bit of oomph I had in me. Now I am wanting nothing more than to sleep. 

Still... I want to honor my intention somewhat lol. Lesson 121 ACIM has hit me with a bang.  The words are almost poetic and seductive, and the message cannot be denied. Forgiveness is the key to happiness. Hmm! The transcriber of that message states that our answer to our search for peace lies in forgiveness. Why then do we not leave our unforgiving minds behind, especially when they are so horrid?

The Unforgiving Mind

I want to look at the description of the unforgiving mind in more detail.  Four paragraphs/ stanzas are allotted to this description in A Course and I would like to discuss each one in detail.

The unforgiving mind is full of fear, and offers love no room to be itself; no place where it can spread its wings in peace and soar above the turmoil of the world. The unforgiving mind is sad, without the hope of respite and release from pain. It suffers and abides in misery, peering about in darkness, seeing not, yet certain of the danger lurking there. (ACIM; Workbook For Students, Lesson 121: 2; 1-3, page 214)

Hmmm! The mind that does not forgive others, the world and itself is fear based. It operates in the realm away from Love.  It therefore does not allow Love to Be, to grow and expand the way it is meant to. We see what I call retraction.  This mind is sad and hopeless about being relieved of its pain. It suffers, living in misery as it looks out on a world it can not see clearly because of the darkness it exists in and thus anticipates danger at every corner.

Wow!  Nice mind, eh?

Most of us are living with unforgiving minds and suffer the way these words describe. We are full of fear, hopeless and sad, living in darkness rather than light.  We are convinced  that danger exists all around us because we cannot see clearly. We experience this in ourselves and we see it in others. 

What Do We Need to Do to Change?

We must learn to forgive others and by so doing we are forgiven for our own "insanity" created by an unforgiving mind. We pass on Love to others so that It shines in us....so that it soars above this version of the world our unforgiving mind has created; so that it allows the light to pour through and so we see, once and for all, just how safe we are and have always been.

It is a process that must be "acquired" according to A Course.  We need to accept that it is a process requiring time and practice to undo all ego has done.  It begins with a willingness to want to forgive.

It is all good.



Foundation For Inner Peace(2007) A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume. Third Edition. Mill Valley: Foundation For Inner Peace.

Treasures

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.
Thornton Wilder

Feel so blessed by the things that are happening around me.  There is some light entering what seemed like a dark place.  That light is a treasure.  I am seeing that light in everything, even in rejections that would have once stung like the dickens. I see the story as just that "a story"...take it or leave it.  I am not that attached to it. I no longer see my stories as extensions of me, as children I need to promote and protect. I no longer see other opinion as the absolute measure of who I am as a writer and as a person.I see the truth in it and I learn and accept because of it without allowing it to determine who I believe I am.  I am not going to stop writing because of it and may even get better because of it. It is all so good!

Spring is here.  The snow is finally melting.  The temperatures are mild and the sunlight, when it is out, is absolutely amazing.  Bird song everywhere!!! My children are well; my siblings are well; D, is well and my life is absolutely the biggest treasure of all.

Oh...and I have a new washer.  After six months of flooding to the basement...I have a lovely new washer in my laundry room, thanks to D. and his bonus at work.  That is just one of the many little treasures in my life right now.  :)

All is well.

Relief and Hope

There will always be a spiritual light that beckons to us, giving us the hope of rescue and relief.
-L. Whitney Clayton

Some wonderful news showed up in my life recently.  The mass on my sister's brain that the neurologists were so concerned about is benign.  My loved ones are doing better in their struggles with thought and emotion.  I feel relieved.  Relief is such a powerful emotion. 

I also had some hope offered to me in regards to my financial situation which somehow lifted a bit of the heaviness away. We are in the process of slowly preparing the house for sale which is so much more easy to mentally digest than the idea of losing the house does. That too gives me hope. New sunny colours and more light inside and outside  my home adds to that hope.

Relief and Hope

So relief and hope are emotions I am feeling.  One puts me in the now of my existence, the other in the future.  Hmmm!  Can you figure which one is which?

I like relief because it allows me to settle into my present situation.  I feel lighter in thought and energy so I can relax into the moment.  As resistance peels away I feel comfortable in my skin.  It is a nice feeling.

Hope also lightens and allows me to feel good.  It, however, takes me from my present moment rather than towards it.  Hope is future oriented.  I feel better about something that may or may not happen in the future. The light is something I am looking toward...not necessarily basking in now. Still it feels good.  I would much rather be experiencing hope than despair.


Anyway it is all good.  I know that to be true because ego is throwing a tantrum, trying to bring me down and away from these emotions.  It is throwing thoughts in my head like, "Yeah great! But what are you going to now?  How are you going to wait until November or later?  And really though...if you now have nothing outside yourself to worry about, that means you have to deal with you...and all the mess you got going on inside that head of yours? etc etc" Let's face it...  ego wants me feeling bad.

Ego doesn't like relief, hope or anything that takes me closer to peace and Love.  It wants me down where it can control me. So in its little mind nest it flings things around that make stillness and quiet challenging.  It will not let me settle into relief and hope.

It's all good...I can see what it is doing so it cannot do much harm.


All is well in my world.

Long story?

Life is too short for a long story.
-Mary Wortley Montagu

Removed yesterday's post because I realized I was slipping back into story.  My need to share is not only to inspire growth and learning  for my self and others...which I sincerely want to do...but I still have an ego tendency to want to create story and get some form of recognition for it. 

"Oh Geesh...I am going through so much.  Look at me...cry for me, applaud for me and  throw roses on the stage for my part as tragic heroine." lol  I am fully aware my drama gets me nowhere I really want to be. 

Sure life is tough at times but others, I know, can have it a heck of a lot tougher. When I get lost in my story I fail to see that to some degree.  It becomes about "poor me".  And I fail to see what I have in the form of blessing which is so much.

On my behalf...I am a writer and I do love to create characters and storylines out of what is going on around me.  I do not want to give it up entirely nor do I want to deny the reality of my situation....just do not want to get stuck there.  Want to deal with life with a clear head and an open heart. 

All good.  :)

Life is Now

Life is now.  There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be.
Eckhart Tolle

It is all good.  It really is.  I noticed something about myself today...I start a new course this morning and though I am somewhat prepared for this class, previous to this morning I focused little on it.  I was not overly excited about starting a new class like I usually get, nor was I dreading it.  I just didn't think about it.  Because previous to today it was just a "future projection " in my mind.  I had to do some planning but I didn't get meticulous in my planning like I tend to do. 

Eckhart Tolle refers to two types of time in The Power of Now. He uses the term "Clock time" to describe the use of time necessary to get by in this physical world.  We do need to plan, schedule to some degree , set appointments etc.  So I used clock time to prepare for today's class in some form but instead of getting overly invested in the thinking about it...worrying, hoping, wondering, becoming anxious, dreading, excited etc etc which are signs of one slipping into "psychological time", (Tolle's second type of time)....I was practical.  which is a big step for me.

I may go to class this morning and feel totally unprepared and may curse Tolle a little bit under my breath lol ( joking) but I am grateful I didn't waste any of precious "now" time lost in my head.

It is all good.

Tolle, Eckhart (2004) The Power of Now. Novato: New World Library.

Nothing can be done...

The timeless One Life that you are is already complete.
Eckhart Tolle

I have been wondering how to approach some of the situations in my life that require me to be clear and present for the best interest of others.  Challenged. I go to the wise people sitting off and away from the path most people are taking, for the answers. I seem to be drawn to Eckhart Tolle's wisdom again and again.

Hmmm! We really do not have to go anywhere, do anything, add anything else, know more, work harder or even "try" to be present.  We just need to surrender and let the already complete Being within us show Itself.  Man...it is so easy really yet we make it so hard.  Hmm!

In the now, there is already the fullness of Life that is you.
Eckhart Tolle

References

The Modern Buddha (July, 2017) Surrendering to what is from Eckhart Tolle TV. Retrieved from
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpmFeW6zxOI

If the shoe fits...

The truth is you already are what you are seeking.
-Adyashanti


Questions From A Shoe


I listened to Adyashanti last night on a You Tube Video ( man... I really do need to start collecting the information needed to cite those videos).  He used this wonderful analogy to describe the fruitlessness of spiritual "seeking" or of taking the spiritual "path". He said if one of the shoes on your feet right now asked you, "What path do I take to be a shoe? Where do I go from here?", what would you answer? Most of us, who are attached to the idea of knowing, might answer with things like, "Take ten steps forward and turn left."  or "Go up to the top of that hill like so many of the other shoes are doing."  "Read this, listen to  him or her,  do that, change this way, get  new laces" etc etc. 

The Only Answers

But think about it.  What can be the only answer you can give your shoe that resonates with the truth.  Well there are two actually. The first is: "I don't know,"  which is always the truth right?...We do not know anything really. We just want to think we do because the idea of being knowledgeable and having the answers feeds the ego.

What happens, however, if we venture beyond the ego and think like the Being looking down at the shoe that is at that moment attached to it. Wouldn't the obvious answer then be...."Duh!!!! You are already a shoe!  You go nowhere...you stay where you are. I am the Source and you are already connected to me."

What Path Do I Take? What Method do I use to Become Spiritual?

So when we ask, "How can I be spiritual and connected to my Source?  Where is my best Self? What path do I take?" or more practically, "How can I be complete in joy and peace and Love?" it is kind of silly, right? 

Yet we will see the majority of others around us who are travelling down one path or another shouting out, "Come this way!"  or "Do what we are doing...this is the right path." We will be confused by all the so called paths to take. And if we look...we will see so many people are crowded together on many different paths seemingly going in many different directions. ...sometimes clashing and banging in to each other or fighting over which path and method is the right one.  We will get even more confused.

We may  also notice that there are a few "odd" individuals,sitting quietly off the paths others are so busy on, asking everyone where the heck they think they are going Few people listen to them, however, determining that they are just crazy.

Our Source, the Divine Essence we are looking for but actually still attached  to, would have to be looking at us with that same roll of the eyes and the same sauciness in Its tone that the body has for the shoe (if it knew sarcasm) ..."Duh! You already are spiritual.  You are Spirit.  I already made you whole and complete, making Love, peace and joy the essence of who you are."

"Huh? How do I know that?  Where do I go to know that?" we may ask again.

 "You go nowhere." It and all those "odd" beings who are off the paths will answer," You stop and you sit and  be still for awhile. Then you might know."

Just Stop and Know

I guess the point is...if we are moving, shoes or not, on a path...any direction has to be the wrong direction, any movement the wrong movement doesn't it? If we are moving at all...we are moving away from the thing we are seeking instead of toward it.  Instead of moving and seeking, do we not then just have to sit and Be what we already are for awhile?  

It is not about seeking, direction, taking the right path, moving or doing...it is just about recognizing and remembering.  Those off -the-common path  individuals may be 'odd' because they are doing something different than everyone else- by 'not doing'.  Could we learn from them?  They certainly have an important message to share when we are ready to listen. The more of us who catch on and begin to do what they are doing (or not doing), the better the world will be.

And of course, I opened up this morning to Lesson 114 of ACIM with, I am spirit! If we just knew that we wouldn't have to look outside ourselves or go anywhere, would we?

All is well in my world.


References:

Adyashanti video...You Tube

ACIM

The sights of spring are so close.....

Spring Brings New Hope.

- My Dad

 

So close I can feel it...can't see it yet but I can feel it.  The snow is melting like crazy and the light is magnificent.  Temperatures are rising into the double digits...imagine lol.  It's the light I lean towards in spring...it is always the light.  How we have missed it without even knowing it.  :)

 

All is well

 

This is a  much recycled photo of mine (my bad lol)



I Know Nothing

Not that which the mind can think, but that whereby the mind can think; Know that to be Braham the eternal, not what people here adore.
Kena Upanishads

Waking up to the Upanishads

Hmmm!  I woke up, after a rough night of worry and concern (a chattering monkey mind :)),  with those words ringing in my head as well as the word "Atman" flashing across my psyche.  I am not Hindu.  I do not understand Hindu scripture though I  read some of it (but then again, I love to read all scripture from all religions).  I especially love this translation of the Kena Upanishads. It makes sense to me.  So I can see why it comes to me in the midst of an overactive ego mind.

What is Atman

Atman, I have learned about through my studying the yoga sutras of Patanjali.  It is, as I have learned in Satchidananda's translation, "the Self", which is defined as the "Seer" or "Knower".  (page6, 98) So I guess it is befitting that the mental lecture I received today on the Kena Upinshads used the word "Atman" as its visual aid.  Atman is what sees, what hears, what illuminates speech and what thinks. That is what I come away with.

I Know Nothing

Anyway, why did that come to my mind?  Why that and not something from my Christian upbringing? At least there I could fake some sort of "learned knowledge" on the subject. I do not have any learned knowledge what so ever on Hindu scripture other than what I read and understood in my heart. I, in fact, know nothing about anything really.  Do any of us? 

When my little me is in charge taunting and teasing the monkey in my head to act up...some wise voice  within me tells me not to listen to the chattering it creates. I am reminded quietly, gently that I know absolutely nothing.  Ego tries so hard to convince me I know lots more than other people do just because I "studied it" or "read it". ...but this wise Self, this Seer, this Knower...this Atman within me...that does know all...tells me that in my little form I know nothing while It knows everything. Hmmm! 

For some reason I am thinking of Shultz from Hogan's Heroes repeating to himself, "I see nothing! I know nothinggggg!!! "

 

(oops...I think I might have committed some you tube faux pas by putting that video clip here. My apologies...totally ignorant in the ways of YouTube ethics and legalities)

 . 

 

 



I Feel Everything: Our Youth Are Suffering

As I have mentioned, I have been seeing and feeling the suffering of others so acutely lately, especially it seems those between the ages of 18-25. I have been seeing, hearing, and being asked to help those who are depressed, suffering from a great deal of anxiety, suicidal  and/or addicted to drugs, alcohol or other brain numbing behaviours.  These individuals who report they cannot sleep, over eat or don't eat at all, or cannot even think about sitting still, seek bits of hope in some futuristic adventure that they feel requires mind altering substances.  They come to me and I feel so helpless.

The addictive substances  or behaviours used, I realize, are  a form of self medication.  The addictions become the focus for mental health professionals and are seen as the "problem" but they are just manifestations of it.  The real problem is the suffering these kids are experiencing for whatever reason they are. 

Not That Which People Here Adore


In their young and beautiful minds is painful thought activity that they try so hard to escape from. They do not yet see that they are not that activity, those thoughts and feelings...they are over identified with. They see themselves separate, unworthy, undeserving of blessing as they attempt to compete with "images" of perfect, exciting lives of perfect and beautiful people  on their social media screens. They struggle to keep up with social expectation of what they should be not realizing how unrealistic and unhealthy that social expectation is...(what people here adore).

Not Taught to Be Happy

Do you realize that not in any part of North America's educational curriculum are children taught how to be happy?  They are taught how to compete, how to get a job in a competitive market place but not how to be happy, as if it isn't as important.

Competing Against Unreality

They are competing against images, not reality. If they can not get at least some of what these other people have they feel like failures and losers.  They have not learned of reality yet...of the true Self and of ego. They believe what is going on in their minds is life; it is who they are. So ultimate escape, then, sometimes  means escape from self, escape from life...and we know where that takes them. It starts with this desire to self punish because of the shame they feel for not being perfect, then an urge to sabotage life potential through risky behaviour and then a desire to numb and  most concerning, some will even end their own lives.

That is the reality of what I am seeing around me.  I "Know nothing" but I feel a great deal because it is hitting too close to home.  I feel heaviness as a result.

Why?

Why is it showing up in my life now?  It seems like too many people and circumstances are coming to me at once to be coincidental. Why am I seeing and experiencing it and most importantly what am I supposed to do with it? 

I don't know...I don't know anything. I just feel it...so I seek the wisdom of God (or Braham) , my greater Self, the Knower and the Seer within me.  Show me how to help, I plea, or show me how to let go.  I wait for an answer. 

I think that is why I thought those words upon awakening ( my literal awakening lol)  this morning, why I am seeing what I am seeing in my figurative awakening process. I am to learn something, I guess.  Mostly, I am to learn to get beyond my own little me and my monkey mind to compassion, metta kindness and a sincere intention  for light, joy, and  peace for all.  As we all are, I am to take part in the healing of mankind in some small unidentifiable way.

Not About the "Little Me"

I don't know much but what I do know is that it is not about the  "little me" anymore.  It never really ever was and I am sure it never will be again.

So I take these beautiful Hindu words to heart.  I add to them the lessons from ACIM, that I opened up to this morning...Light and joy and peace abide in me. Lesson 112:1  Light, joy and peace (the Atman) reside in all of us and if we can at least tap into it within ourselves we will have something to share with those who need it most. We will help with the healing of the world.  Is that not why we are here?

All is well in my world.

References

ACIM Workbook for Students

Not That Which the Mind Can think...(Jan 2013) Moonlight Way. Retrieved from https://moonlightenedshelves.wordpress.com/2013/01/04/not_that_which_the_mind_can_think/

Sri Swami Satchidananda (2011) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Yogaville: Integral Yoga Publications.

Restless Monkey

The mind out of control is like a restless monkey, jumping here and there senselessly.  You have to learn to control it, see the real nature of the  mind.
-The Buddha (I think??)



I was in such a hurry to write today...had some issues with my signing in...felt frustrated and overwhelmed by it, snappy and irritable even.  Finally get in and think...why do I want to write anyway? Inspiration...poof.... gone.

Monkey Mind

Monkey mind ( what many of the traditional Tibetan Buddhists call the over active mind we humans tend to possess) had a little fit when it thought it wasn't going to get the banana it was after (some notion of how my moment should be) and now that it got it, it realizes it isn't even hungry. ugh!!!!   Oh these minds of ours, lol.

I must admit for a minute I became the monkey.  For a moment, I was unaware of the aware Self within me.  I was the one chattering in frustration  and making all kinds of noise. I was even flinging a bit of you know what at D. for logging me off last night when he just had to know I never remember my passwords.  :)

Stand back and watch the monkey

As soon as I stood back and started watching the monkey having its  tantrum (as mild as it may have been for most monkeys lol) it was easier to think clearly. I realized I could be the one in control...rather than the  monkey.  What this little fellow was doing, chattering on about, wasn't me. I was just witnessing it. 

Then ...I began to settle down and relax into the frustration.  I began to look at the so called "problem"  clearly in the "light" and realized it wasn't a problem after all.  It simply was what it was. Within minutes D. and I had me back in to this site and the monkey, having his banana and little to no attention ...became quiet once again. 

Do we really want the bananas we go nuts for?

It wasn't so much getting the banana that made the monkey quiet...it  didn't even really want it.  Like many of the things we seek for in life...go after...attempt to gain, claim or cling to...we just think we want these things , need them to fill some hungry belly within us that never seems to get filled. The belly is the ego mind. We can never fill the ego mind but man will it go on and on, chattering and jumping about...flinging whatever it can at others and ourselves  in an attempt to have its crazy mixed up needs met.

I seem to have a lot going on around me and in me...and I thought I needed to have my morning go the way it goes every morning, the way it "should" go to fix and soothe the ego, to keep it quiet and under control.  Life had a little lesson planned for me instead. 

Learning About Choices

All our so called "problems' are wonderful learning opportunities if we choose to look at them as such.  I was being shown that what I needed to do, was simply be quiet and aware of ego...watch it from a distance, ignore its temper tantrum and just be. I need to see the monkey in the mind when it is acting up so I  come to be the knower, the quiet Observer who witnesses the monkey.  I then make a choice about who I want to be in control of my life (which is this moment and only this moment).....the wild noisy   monkey or the Quiet Observer. 

Who would you chose, I wonder?

Oh I guess I had something to write about after all. That was the wiser, Observer me writing, btw, not the monkey. Just in case you are wondering.  lol :)

All is well in my world.

Sending Hope Through Stillness

And they will hear the bird begin to sing and the stream begin to flow again, with hope reborn and energy restored to walk with lightened step along the road that suddenly seems easy as they go.
ACIM Lesson 109: 7:3

Sending Hope and Light to Those who Suffer

That is what I want for all those who are suffering.  I want them to experience the hope and renewed energy this season brings and to find their roads suddenly easy. I want to see them transcend this long dark and dreary winter for the beautiful light of spring.  I see my loved ones in so much pain and at first I felt so helpless.  I didn't know what to "do". I realize after reading Lesson 109...healing  isn't so much what we do as it is how we choose to "be". 

What Helps more: Being or Doing?

Could it be that we do more for the suffering in this world when we go inward, sort out the fiction from the Truth in our own minds and allow ourselves to just rest in God...than we ever will with all we do? Could it be that we effect more positive change in the world with meditation, stillness and quiet than we do with activity?

The Maharishi Effect

The studies done on understanding the Maharishi effect lean towards this possibility. 
It has been shown in several different studies (very well done studies) that crime rate in cities go down if at least 1 % of the population meditates.(http://www.trancenet.org/maharishieffect.htm) Wow!  Crime is just one behavioural response to fear emotion and ego induced thinking...one manifestation of "suffering". 

What else happened during those studies, I wonder, that wasn't being picked up by researchers?  Were people generally  feeling better in those cities where the crime rate went down? Was there more collective hope? Would there have been more feelings of peace reported amongst those who were not even aware other people were meditating?

Science and Buddhism

I am also reading about and from Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, a renown and well followed Tibetan meditation master who has  undergone several scientific tests at the University of Wisconsin on the neurological effects of meditation.  These tests, done on long term meditators ( those with more than 10,000 hours of meditation in their life times) showed remarkable results in comparison to other non meditators or much less experienced meditators when asked to meditate on compassion and loving kindness during the tests. So much so that when the tests were first performed on Rinpoche experimenters thought the machines were broken. Wow! (Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche and Daniel Goldman ( 2007) The Joy of Living. Random House Canada) Meditation actually changes our brains, improving our capacity to feel compassion and kindness. Meditation brings peace to self and the unified Self ( all those around us).

Meditation brings peace

I know when I come to after a meditation I am often surprised to find myself surrounded by peacefully sleeping dogs and cats who were not in the room with me when I began.  It is almost if they get pulled into that energy. And I am just one far from perfect meditator.  What would happen to depression and other forms of suffering in a community if we could get more people to meditate?

I may never know but I make it a point to intend healing, peace, and light for those who I know are suffering as I close my eyes.  I like to think it helps.  According to A Course in Miracles and the results from science,  it does.  :)

All is well in my world.

References

ACIM

Transcendental Meditation (n.d.) Scientia. Retrieved from http://www.trancenet.org/maharishieffect.htm

Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche and Daniel Goldman ( 2007) The Joy of Living. Random House Canada

The Light of Resolution

When sense of self is invested in thought, thought becomes problematic.
Eckhart Tolle


I wish I could just respond to every life situation that comes my way from the place of awareness and presence.  I am getting better but I still feel myself from time to time getting pulled into the story line like some character in a play...At first I ask, why am I here...again? This sucks! Then I find myself looking for something in it, that will appease the little me, at least because that is the only part of me that has to be appeased all the time. How does the little me like to be appeased?  Through recognition. "Look what I am going through.  Now...I have problems." it begins to shout.  Or it begins making comparisons as if it is in some competition with others if only in my head, "My stressors are so much bigger than yours.  So I therefore have the more worthy story to share. The best drama. I win!!!"

It is like if I have to go through this crap, I might as well get something for it...an Emmy or an Oscar...at least be nominated, don't you think? So...having one of  those child like minds that is always seeking the silver lining in things...I ask: What is the silver lining in challenging situations?

If I ask ego, I get," Well a badge of glory, a medal of honor, or a trophy will be coming for the so called suffering I am doing.  At least others may appreciate my fortitude and strength so . I will win some form of competition for endurance.  I will gain recognition, pity maybe, or something for this in terms of secondary gain."  That is my silver lining, according to the little me.  And it is all ego crap.  

If I ask spirit, I get a totally different answer. "You will learn, you will grow into who you really are.  You will see all this for what it is and find peace in it. You will learn to accept and allow and you will be a much better help to others from that place."  

And ego responds to that with, "Yeah right!" I know then that I am operating more from ego.

But if every time we encountered something in life that caused a bit of suffering from a place of Knowing and awareness of who we are  and what life is really all about...we would not need story, or drama, or victim/martyr recognition, would we? We would just breathe and allow it to be. We would not sell  peace for a chance to say, "You like me! You really, really like me!" It wouldn't matter.

And how we approached these things in a state of alert presence would be clearer, more solution oriented than problem focused.   Without the drama inflating things, without our need for story and our identity as the heroine/hero we would be better off. Wouldn't we? We would feel the suffering, allowing it to be and to pass through the moment but we wouldn't be dismissing, denying, resisting  or clinging to it. We wouldn't be making more problems out of it for the sake of ego's need for recognition or compensation. We would "be" there for others in the way they need it most.

Man...that is what I want. To be free of ego's hold on me as I process through these life events.  I want peace. I want Truth's light to shine on these issues...not the camera man's.

And what is light except the resolution, born of peace, of all your conflicts and mistaken thoughts into one concept which is wholly true?
ACIM Lesson 106;1:3

Hmm...all is well as I go off to deal with life.  :)
                                           

Mind Flatters and Kicks

"To the Mind, thank you!  When you flatter me you make me go to sleep to who I am; when you kick me you make me wake up to who I am."

Mooji (see reference below)

 

        Black and Blue Butt

Thanks to Mooji, I now realize I have to thank mind for the black and blue butt I am walking around with.  Mind has been kicking me and kicking me good!!! Let me tell ya! 

Where Are the Kicks Coming From?

So much is showing up in my life...big things: like masses found on a loved one's brain, other loved ones I am responsible for intentionally attempting to put an end to their own life, others on the verge of killing themselves with their drug use and some actually having to flee from people who are threatening to kill them. My family life is like some freaking soap opera.

Though, I try to avoid the news I am also being made aware of what is going on in the world...in Syria, for example, and it is challenging to escape those images of gassed children. I am thinking about the bus crash that took the lives of 15 close to an area where I once lived and worked. I see so much "suffering" and "sorrow". I am reminded of it, as well as my inability to "help" or "fix" other than listen and endure.  The reminders come almost every hour, it seems, in one way or another. Mind won't let this go.

Selfishly, mind brings me back to me too : Loss, loss, loss....it shouts as it Bruce Lee's me again and again. I know I can't work anymore and I have no idea what I am going to do after this term.  I will have absolutely  no income and because of my speaking out I will no longer be able to get any external help for my health condition, so I can get better so I can work. I am going to lose my house (that's an ongoing story you may have heard before but it will definitely be happening soon). All I can seem to be able to do physically is write, but my words are barely being read let alone bought.  (With the exception of a few sales but I can't go there ...because this is all about how mind is beating me up, remember? :))

Mind Reacts

So I allow mind to react to each circumstance as something that "shouldn't be happening", adding  judgment, identification, story and reactivity to it. Mind uses each thing against me, gaining power and momentum...not because life is doing what it is doing but because mind is doing what it so loves to do... Punish and control. I then  feel kick, after kick, after kick...and...

Grateful?

The strange part is ... I am almost grateful.  I am grateful for the kicks...waking me up.  If it wasn't for mind's twisted and abusive games, I wouldn't be here where I am, seeking Truth.  And though it seems like a big fat ugly mess on the outside...the kicking is shoving me past all that to the quiet, stable, stillness beneath it.  It is leading me to a place where all that "stuff' and "story" doesn't have the same impact.  It is taking me home.

Mind Also Flatters

Previous to this,  Mind ( ego) was so flattering...giving me recognition, ideas about myself, reward, ownership of things, the attainment of "goals" and so called success, as well, as perceptions of  wonderful physicality and wellness that I took so for granted.  It rewarded me for being in my head...for numbing and turning my back on the "now" of my life.  It kept me sleeping and away from the reality of who I really was.

Waking Up and Going Home

I do not want to be asleep anymore...so I will take the whacks mind  is using to wake me up. I decided, somewhere in the midst of all this so called suffering, I don't want to be in this relationship with mind any more. I don't want to be its victim, so I go home to where it is safe and unconditionally loving.  I go home to God.

This is what I so serendipitously opened up to as I began to write this blog entry:

We ask for rest today, and quietness unshaken by the world's appearances. We ask for peace and stillness, in the midst of all the turmoil born of clashing dreams.  We ask for safety and for happiness, although we seem to look on danger and on sorrow.  And we have the thought that will answer our asking with what we request.

" I rest in God."

 

ACIM Lesson 109:1:1-4; 2:1


I want to rest in God.  :) 

I also have to thank Mooji, for in an indirect way, guiding me back to a book I have been trying to finish about the mind's shaming(kicking) and redeeming(flattering)  tendency.  (I have like a dozen books on the go...what is wrong with me lol.  That is mind kicking me in the butt again.)

All is well!

References:

ACIM ( 2007) A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume. Third Edition. Mill Valley: Foundations for Inner Peace.

Mooji (2017) Being Present is So Simple. Uploaded by Profound Talks. Retrieved from:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jmCyVIVEk

Empty?

Form is emptiness, emptiness is form.
from the Buddha according to Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now (2004) page 137

Those words shared by Eckhart Tolle in his wonderful best selling book, The Power of Now, are said to come from The Heart Sutras, an ancient Buddhist text about gaining wisdom. The words were believed to mean that the essence of all things is emptiness. (Tolle, 2004, page 137)

Are we and all things empty? Nothing?

Physicists would agree that within all matter there is more space than there is solid form.  There is space between molecules, space between atoms within molecules and space between the subatomic parts of an atom. That theory would go on to say that the  solidity of all matter is an illusion being that almost 100 percent of things that "appear solid" is actually empty space. So the phrase, "form is emptiness, emptiness is form,"  has become the chief premise behind the wisdom found in the heart sutras and in quantum physics .

For long...it was believed to mean that the body  and form did not exist...it was"nothing" but an illusion.

Is it "Nothing"?

This particular text is said to be over 2500 years old and like the Bible has undergone translation into several different languages including English  and has endured different interpretations because of that translation. 

In 2014, the original Vietnamese translation was disputed by the European Institute of Applied Buddhism in Germany. ( https://plumvillage.org/news/thich-nhat-hanh-new-heart-sutra-translation/)  That one line "form is emptiness, emptiness is form," was changed to " the body itself is Emptiness and Emptiness itself is this body" in the new translation. Another line was added in the third stanza, "no being, no non being."



Listen Sariputra,

this body itself is Emptiness

and Emptiness itself is this body.

The body is not other than Emptiness

and Emptiness is not other than the body.

The same is true of Feelings,

Perceptions, Mental Formations,

and Consciousness.

 

Listen Sariputra,

all phenomenon bear the mark of  Emptiness

There true nature is the nature

of no Birth no Death

no Being no Non Being

no Defilement no Purity

no Increasing no Decreasing.

 

from the 2014 translation of  Insight that Brings us to the Other Shore https://plumvillage.org/news/thich-nhat-hanh-new-heart-sutra-translation/

 

So how does that change things?

Well for practicing Buddhists it changes it a great deal. Thay,the disputer of the previous translation, wanted it clarified that it is not that form is "nothingness"...it is more precisely that form resides in emptiness. There is a distinction made, I believe, between being nothing and existing in emptiness. It is not that the body or other matter doesn't exist...it just means that worldly things like self, the body, feelings, thoughts, perceptions etc  exist in emptiness. What Tolle often refers to as the "spaciousness" that exists around form.

For many of us ...who do not practice Buddhism and probably never even heard of the Heart Sutra before now, but who are awed by the wisdom of the words often quoted...this change in translation can help us to  learn to see how we...who we really are...exist in that quiet space that surrounds us.  We are in that space, that emptiness temporarily before we become that space, that emptiness.  (Being and Non-being)

The body exists but not in the same solid way we assumed it did...as long as we are thinking from our human minds we will "feel' the body and experience life through the body senses.  The space that is in us or  around us is not "nothing"...it is so much more in this  emptiness of space where there is no contrast, no duality.

Hmmm!  Well that is how I understood this in my crazy mixed up way.  :)

All is well.

References/ Recommended Readings

Thich Nhat Hanh (September 2014) New Heart sutra Translation by Thich Nhat Hanh in Plum village: Mindfulness Practice Center. Retrieved from: https://plumvillage.org/news/thich-nhat-hanh-new-heart-sutra-translation/

Tolle, Eckhart (2004) The Power of Now. Novato: New World Library

 

 

 

 





Learning to Just Sit

It is the movement of thought that is the momentum behind the search for more.
Eckhart Tolle

Hmm!  I am thinking a lot about thinking and problems lately.  I seem to be very, very aware that I "think too much".  In fact, I am often lost in thought about how I think too much lol. When I catch myself going off on a thinking tangent I use the words of Eckhart Tolle (and others) to bring me back down to reality.  :)  It often works.

When we catch ourselves doing excessively to keep up with something, to gain more of something so that we can have the idea that we are more of something...complicated, isn't...I believe we need to stop...sit and figure out where we are.  We need to get our bearings. We will realize, if we truly want to know where we are, that we are searching for something we will never find out there.  What we are doing with all this thinking and doing is trying to escape the present moment where all we really need exists.  Our search for more is merely an escape from "isness" as Tolle often calls it. We are running from the very thing we truly want, "presence in the present moment". Peace.

Huh? 

Where does peace exist , crazy lady?   All I have are worries and big stars from to-do lists pounding away in my head? My moment is full of head noise, busy work, worry, anxiety, stress...and I am being told by a very persistent little fellow who knows the highways up there in my head...that I will only feel better, be happy, be all that I am supposed to be if I find that "more".  Where am I supposed to find the present moment and experience peace  in all that crap?

It's there. 

Peace  is quietly waiting for you beneath your search for more, beneath your busy work and beneath your misdirected movement of thought.  The present moment exists in the stillness and the quiet...the spaciousness of this now.  It is not in your doing or in your head.  It is in your very being. No where else.  Your present moment, however, does not bring you the "more" you seek...it brings you "less".  And in that less is everything you need and are?

Okay crazy lady, you really got to get off the mushrooms!

( I don't like mushrooms and prefer sobriety in all things lol...just in case you are wondering)

The Search for More is Futile and Problematic

I believe, our search for more is absolutely futile.  Ego will drive us from one thought to the next, one goal to the next, one activity to the next but it won't take us to that "more" that we  are searching for. It can't because there is no such thing as "more". How can you add more to something that is already complete?  How can you add more to "all that is?" How can you find what was never lost?

The search for more creates the problems in your life.  The thinking is what is filling you with worry, anx, fear and sadness. You are putting so much of your energy in ego's gimmick to get something it can never give you.  Ego keeps you in those thoughts of scarcity, illness, danger, grievance because you can never seem to get that "more"...no matter how much you work or how much you try. That's the problem! There is no "more."

All there is.

Your present moment is all there is.  Presence is all you are.  Everything else is just "thought." Ego uses thought to keep you away from the one thing that it fears...your awareness of the Truth.  The truth is that all there is... is the present moment...and all you are and ever need to be is presence. If we really realized this...ego would be no more.  We would see thought, and the search for more as nothing more than ego's futile attempt to pull us away from Truth. We would get wise real quick to ego's ways and we would give up the search.  We would stop the frantic movement of thought.

Anyway...that's my rampage for today.  All is well.

 

 

Just Sit

 

Just sit. Notice where you feel hard, and sit with that.
In the middle of that hardness you'll find anger; sit with that.
Go to the center of the anger and you'll probably come to sadness.
Stay with the sadness until it turns to vulnerability.
Keep sitting with what comes up, the deeper you dig, the more tender you become.
Raw fear can open into the wide expanse of genuineness, compassion, gratitude, and acceptance in the moment.
A tender heart appears naturally when you are able to stay present.
From your heart you can see the true pigment of the sky.
You can see the vibrant yellow of a sunflower, and the deep brown of your own eyes.
A tender heart doesn't block out rain clouds, or tears, or dying sunflowers.
Allow both beauty and sadness to touch you.
This is love, not fear.

 

- Author Unknown

 

 

 

 

I absolutely love this!  I probably posted it before but it is something that can be posted several times.  I have heard it recited, read it in different books and heard others refer to it...so it has been used by many others.  I cannot unfortunately find out the true source of those words.  I believe it is Buddhist, as it has been referred to by many others,  but I don't know.  I just know the words are beautiful.



Life is Difficult

Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.
Scott Peck (opening line from The Road Less Travelled)

I read this book when it first came out (in the 80's?) and it became one of my favorites.  I was more into the psychology understanding of things then, than I was the spiritual.  Its teachings resonated in me at a time I needed them.  I wrote notes in, highlighted, folded back and mishandled the pages of that poor old copy I had until it looked beaten up. I have gotten and read other copies since then because those same teachings still hit home today.

Peck describes the premise of his entire book in the opening paragraph.  Those words also seem to be the premise for Eckhart Tolle's teachings as well.

Life is really only difficult if you believe it shouldn't be difficult.  Eckhart Tolle

Things happen in life.  As Tolle said this morning in a stream of videos I once again closed my eyes to listen through (so I cannot site the actual sources correctly...my bad...) life isn't going to leave us alone.  It will constantly challenge us in one way or another.  It doesn't matter how enlightened or unenlightened you find yourself.  Life is challenging.  Life is difficult.

Yet what makes it more difficult than it ever has to be is our resistance to it. The more we tell ourselves and the world that "This shouldn't be!  They shouldn't do that or be like that.  This shouldn't have happened! etc etc" ...the more stuck we become in the difficulty muck of our existence.  Fighting, pushing  and struggling against something, I hope we have learned by now, only makes the difficulty persist.

We will have actual challenges to deal with in our lives: we will lose things, we will fail, we will struggle, we will encounter people with difficult personalities, we or the people we love will get sick or may even die.  We will suffer.  That is a given.  We will have blessed and beautiful moments and we will have challenging moments.  That is what life does.

Resistance is the problem. Acceptance is the solution.(loosely paraphrased from an Eckhart Tolle Video Binge)

When unpleasant things happen to us or around us we perceive a "problem". The so called problem arises, however, not so much from the external event or crisis that lands on our lap but through our resistance to it and therefore the resistance to the moment we are experiencing that has "it' in it.

When we fight the reality of the event and the moment it is in...we take it from the lap of the present moment where it can be calmed and soothed...to the time centered frenzy of our minds.  We may build stories around it there...add it to a collection of grievances we already have stored in there.  We add other emotional energies to it using the past and future.   We repress it, suppress it, deny it, dismiss it, displace it, rationalize it etc etc using a host of unhealthy "defense" mechanisms.     We may dose it up good with worry or regret...fear or shame.  We do not accept it as being simply what it is. We do not accept life for being what it is.

We buildup our story and our resistance. We cling to the idea of "problem"  because it gives us something we think we want, we think we need.  We do not let it go.  

Yet if we could only accept the fact  that life is sometimes challenging, ...that truth would no longer matter.  We would allow the external events of our life to be what they are.  We would wrap them with presence and allow them to be calmed and soothed before letting them go...so we can get onto the next moment of our lives.

When are we ever going to learn, that all there is, is this moment regardless of what is happening to us and around us?  When are we going to learn to just let it be...now?

All is well.

                References/ Recommended Reads

Peck, Scott ( 2003) The Road Less Travelled.Touchtone

Tolle, Eckhart (2018) Video stream of "Eckhart Tolle 2018"...(Google)

Not One of the Cool Kids

Not a Gaming Site.

Not sure what is going on here.  I am not sure if anyone is reading this or getting anything from it.  My stats are way down again with the exception of some "redirect" sites and I am not really sure what they do but when I check into one of them I get a gaming site? This is not a gaming site people if you accidently tapped in. lol

If one doesn't have viewers, why would they blog?

So I am not sure what is going on. I am a target for redirect sites that use obscure websites for their own purposes. That means, I am not being read or followed by the general public. Well not in anyway that would make me more than obscure. I do see some sites that check in on a regular basis. So these 1-5 readers give me some reason for coming back and I am grateful to them:) .  Do I really need an external reason, though? Some would ask: If one doesn't have readership; why do they write?  If one doesn't have viewers; why do they blog? 

Selfish Compulsion

I am just compelled, I guess.   I am not sure why I come here...why I write what I write or speak about what I speak about.  It is inexplicable really.  :)  I just feel compelled to create here and I do; to teach here and I do; to learn here and I do; to give here and I do and to receive here and I do.  It's about the process for me. 

I get so much from the process. I like what I create.  I learn from it.  I am inspired by it.  I grow from it.  Selfish, selfish, selfish. Even if I wasn't getting anything intrinsic from it...I would still come...because this compulsion to do this is so bloody strong there is no resisting it. It's me, I guess.

I don't seek viewers or readers.  I don't necessarily want to "stand out" and be seen.  I just want to write, to learn and to teach as I share. I just want to be myself. I want to give what I have to give...as little as it may be.  :)

Not One of the Cool Kids

That is never going to make me one of the "cool kids"  in school, is it? lol.  I won't be popular. That is for sure.  I am one of the "strange" and "different" kids who sits in the back of the classroom  and has no real desire to fit in and impress.

The strange kid who has purple hair, spacers and nose rings before it is even cool, learns for the sake of learning and expresses for the sake of expressing...but does it in her own way. She is okay, for the most part, being alone and socially awkward. She would rather be who she truly is , expressing Self as a breath of air, than repressing Self in order to conform and fit in with the popular kids.

She is not angry because she is not popular. She is not putting down the popular kids.  She is not out to rebel or make a statement of her individuality...she just is who she is and is okay with that.   She expresses it because she can't help it. Her creativity is like the air she breathes out.  (We don't breathe to impress do we?) She doesn't call attention to herself...barely even tries...unless she has to write a bio and leave something behind that explains who she is.

The only time I offer my site address to the public is on my  articles' bios. Even then I will only get an influx of very heavy readership for a while...almost to the point it is uncomfortable. I do not feel comfortable with a lot of attention.  Then it will gradually dwindle back down to below 100, below 20, below ten on some days and even below 5 on others.  So it is safe to say,  I am not "cool"...and I am perfectly okay with that.

Do we have to be cool and popular to do what we feel compelled to do?  Of course not...I have  learned a little something about life,  after being in school for 50 + years.(Not only am I not a cool kid, I am not one of the smartest kids in the class either...lol...taking me a long time to learn the lessons I am here to learn :)) Self actualization is all about expressing Self and giving of Self while being absent for the need of good opinion from others.  The writer I want to be, the learner I want to be and the teacher I want to be is Self actualized.

Feedback and Readership is Secondary

What I create here is not for everybody. I know that. I don't create so people will like me. I create for the sake of creating...not for validation and feedback, which is a good thing  because I don't get any.  I don't get feedback what so ever.  I check my stats only to see if someone has actually read my words or was redirected using my blog site by some spammer thingy.  (I don't even know how that all works lol.)  At the same time I hope what I have to share is benefitting someone somewhere...just one other person and it would all be worthwhile.  Well...it would be worthwhile even without that because it is benefiting me.  I am meeting some internal calling and that in itself feels good.

So I will keep coming here and I will keep writing.  I will also keep listening for any internal wisdom that tells me to stop or go elsewhere.  In the meantime...I am not going anywhere.  :)

It's all good.

 

Love and Fear: The Last of the Lessons

 

Perfect love casts out fear.

If fear exists;

Then there is not perfect love.

But:

Only perfect love exists.

If there is fear,

It produces a state that does not exist.

ACIM 1: VI: 5:4-8

 

 

Say Whaaaaat?

 

 

A Course in Miracles is based on the premise that there are only two apparent emotions in the world to be concerned about: Fear and Love.  Only one of these, however, is real.

 

Fear

 

Fear is what I believe to encompass a whole realm of different emotions.  To me, it is anything basically that does not feel "good" from frustration to anger, to sadness to complete despair.  All these emotions are energies that belong under the fear spectrum. 

 

The Ladder

 

I use the analogy of a ladder.  At the bottom of the ladder is complete despair and at the top of the ladder is complete and utter bliss.  In the middle of the ladder, at the neutral point, is acceptance of what is.  All fear emotions inhabit the lower rungs that fall below acceptance of what is. All fear emotions, then, are emotions that resist life...resist presence...resist the now of our experiences. They resist reality!

 

Fear is Not Real

 

If the present moment is all there is and if presence is all we truly are than fear is not real. Fear is something we made at ego's insistence, to drag us and take us away from acceptance of what is and therefor from our ability to experience all the emotions that inhabit the Love rungs on the ladder. Fear is of the ego, not of the  true Self.

 

But man does it feel real! It takes up so much of our mental energy and our life. We did such a good job making it that we have come to believe it is real.  Just as we mistakenly believe that all forms we experience only with our five senses are real we believe fear is. 

 

You can never control the effects of fear yourself, because you made fear, and you believe in what you made. ACIM 1:VI:4: 2

 

We fear losing these physical things be they material objects or ideas of recognition and success.  We fear other people hurting us or taking something away from us.  We fear the unpredictability of the world and our loss of control in it.  All that is ego and it isn't real.

 

All aspects of fear are untrue because they do not exists at the creative level, and therefore do not exist at all. ACIM 1: VI: 5:1

 

Every time we feel "bad" we are delving into fear perception and with fear perception we are delving into illusion.  If we could only detach our identity from fear producing thought and feeling...we would recognize the illusionary nature of it. We would be free.

 

Believe this and  you will be free. ACIM 1: VI: 5: 9

 

Love is Real

 

Where fear is of the ego; Love is of God. God, to me, is the Source of all Life, presence, awareness, all that cannot be seen. Love is all there is.  Presence is Love.  God is Love.  Life is Love. If we could be still and quiet our minds , crawl into acceptance of the present moment like we were crawling onto the lap of a loving protective parent who knows all, we would know that.

 

Love exists on the ladder rungs above acceptance. It encompasses all the emotions that feel "good" like peace, happiness, joy, enthusiasm, bliss.  Love, however,  is not just an emotion.  It is a way of Being.  It is Being.

 

Fear is really nothing and Love is everything. ACIM 2: VII:5: 2

 

Love exists on all the ladder rungs above acceptance.  Once we accept the present moment without resistance, we begin to experience what Love really is. Love is our essence...it is internal yet expands outwardly healing all with its Divine essence.  It is what allows us to expand as the One Self .

 

Teach only Love for that is what you are. ACIM 6:I: 13:2

 

We cannot be anything but Love

 

We are Love and can be nothing but Love.  When we pretend otherwise, we feel awful! Ego will try to convince us otherwise using the tactic of fear ...a fear created by this crazy idea that we are separated from Our source which is Love, therefore we are left on our own to attack and defend our way to survival.  It will do whatever it can to prevent us from experiencing the joy that comes with recognizing who we really are...pulling us down the ladder rungs. When we defend and attack out of fear we will experience this fall from Love. When we listen to ego we will suffer.

 

Whenever you are not wholly joyous, it is because you have reacted with a lack of love to one of God's creations. ACIM 5: VII: 5:1

 

Our Purpose is to Be Love and to Extend Love

 

We are here to Love: to Be Love and to extend Love.  In order to do that we must step out of ego's entanglement and make the climb up the ladder, first to acceptance, than to peace and then to all the other wonderful rungs above. We allow ourselves to radiate this Love within us and to the entire world.  That is what feels good and what we are looking to do even though we may not know it yet. :)

 

Love extends outward simply because it cannot be contained.  Being limitless it does not stop. ACIM 7: I: 3:4-5

 

Fear and Love are opposites but only one can exist

 

So when you catch yourself feeling anything but good, seeking grievances and reasons to defend or attack   those around you, or holding back and retracting from the world remember this:

 

Know first that this is fear.

Fear arises from a lack of love.

The only remedy for lack of love is perfect love,

Perfect love is the atonement.ACIM 2: VI: 7:5-8 

 

Choose to Love perfectly instead. :)

 

All is well

 

References:

 

A Course in Miracles. Combined Volume. Third Edition. (2007).  Mill Valley: Foundations for Inner Peace.