The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak
(Matthew 26: 41; NIV)
We all have good intentions do we not? We all strive to be the best people we can be...to reach the height of some spiritual pinnacle (whether we call it spiritual or not). We feel pulled by Spirit's intentions at some point in our lives. We might hear the call, reconstruct our psyches so they are more in tune with spirit's voice than body's and set our to achieve our goals.
What happens if our flesh, the body we are in, just does not want to cooperate?
My flesh is sometimes weak though I know my intentions are good. Last night at Two a.m. I was reminded of how weak that flesh was. I awoke with what I first thought was intense heart burn and now realize it was much more than that. I am very weak today as a result and once again find solace in having my nitro near by. I at the same time feel very defeated.
You see, I had convinced myself that if I could push thoughts of physical limitation out of my head...use my mind to keep a clear path for my spiritual awakening...I could get above my body's complaints. I have learned to push aside thoughts and speech about what my body is feeling and doing. I "ignored" its weakness. I was as convinced, as the disciples were at Gethsemane, that I could "stay awake," ...only to realize that I couldn't!
And when that happens instead of nurturing and caring for my body in its weakness, I turn on it and I turn on my mind. I get mad at it for not "trying " harder. I get angry at my mind for losing control and discipline over this vehicle my soul is driving. What I am doing, in a sense, is what my Catholic upbringing told me would be the greatest of sins, I am spitting on the altar. The altar I am spitting on is the altar of my Being.
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own? 1Corinthians 6: 19 ESV
Instead of stopping, slowing down, seeking outside help...I tend to push myself harder. It didn't matter how I felt during the night...I got up at five , made breakfast and lunch for everyone and drove my son to work. I didn't tell anyone about my experience, until much later in the morning, because I was ashamed.
On the way home I had another epiphany. Basically...that this is absolutely crazy and I am indeed acting like a crazy lady. I had a bad attack and the more I push past those attacks and ignore them the less likely I will get to where I want to be. If I want Spirit to do what it is here to do, I need this body and I need to take care of it!!! Regardless if I get the external help I need...I need to accept, respect and accommodate my body for where it is at now! That's up to me.
Maybe you had similar experiences. Maybe you can recall times when you pushed yourself past a limitation because you were angry at your body or mind for being weak, afraid of what that weakness would mean in terms of you reaching a goal. There is so much out there promoting this "drive" to get past pain. There are slogans like "Just do it!"; "No pain; no gain!" etc...Yet when we adhere to these suggestions are we not just spitting on altars?
Are our bodies not communicating with us when they act up? Are our minds telling us something needs to be addressed when they too misbehave? Why can we not just listen understanding that the body, mind and soul work together for a common goal? Harmony...And without harmony in Self how do we expect to have harmony in the world?
I love this quote from Yogi, B.K.s. Iyengar,
Sometimes our body is willing, but our mind is weak. Sometimes our mind is willing, but our body is weak. Do not be afraid. Strive to extend your capacity but do not be disappointed with yourself. What does not challenge us cannot change us.
-B.K.S. Iyengar (Yogi)
Life is just one long complicated yoga pose. We need to strive to extend our capacity without being disappointed with ourselves. We will get to where we want to go but only if we put aside our fear and respect our limitations as they are now. Instead of pushing the body, let it flow naturally into the position. Instead of resisting with the mind...let go. We can, if we do so gradually and gently get past our barriers. Be patient ( and I say that to myself :)) We can grow beyond our limiting perceptions!
All is well.
References:
Bible Hub: http://biblehub.com/matthew/26-41.htm
Bible Hub: http://biblehub.com/1_corinthians/6-19.htm
Iyengar, B.S.K. (2013) Yoga: The Path to Holistic Healing. England: DK
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