Pride divides the men,humility joins them.
-Socrates (https://quotefancy.com/quote/908711/Socrates-Pride-divides-the-men-humility-joins-them)
I have been feeling less than well. It is hard for me to admit to that. This is the only place I feel completely "safe" in doing so. Here is my place of truth because it represents my quest. It is a place where I can be imperfect and honest while I discover who I really am. (Aren't you lucky you get to hear me whine lol).
Ego pride.
Outside of these self-reflective and isolated places I wear my stoic clothing, a remnant of ego pride that clings like the dickens to me. I am way too proud for my own good. Pride, according to the Buddha, is three-fold involving a thought that we are superior, a thought that we are inferior and/or a thought that we are equal. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABgOBv20_fw).
In my attempt to hide my perception of a lack of wellness I am striving to be all three of these.
I strive to be seen as superior to myself and others...in the sense that I want to appear like some special being who can easily get beyond physical complaints and limitations and challenging life circumstance without uttering one complaint or needing help from anyone.
I also feel pride when I goof up and fail in this impossible request. When I start to feel sick I feel inferior and ashamed so I do not want to admit out loud...that I hurt, that I need, that I want help and support. I retract back into my safe place and wait it out...so no one sees me hurting and "failing". Most sadly, I punish myself by pushing myself to the point where I am at now because I think that I am not worthy of recovery time, wellness maybe. I devalue myself and that according to Buddhist teaching is pride.
Then there is this striving to appear equal to everyone else. If I say that I "can't do " what everyone else does with ease; if I admit to my physical limitations or this feeling of unwellness; if I call attention to my life circumstance I will not be like everyone else. So my pride keeps me from admitting that I am not equal....that I have special needs.
Pride puts me in this place again and again. I put me here because I choose to listen to ego and thus cling to my ego pride rather than divine pride.
What is Divine Pride?
Divine pride recognizes that we are all parts of the one spiritual essence. There is no division between those who can and those who cannot. The only limitations are the ones we put on ourselves, a crippling refusal to know our own blissful light. (https://somathread.ning.com/groups/buddhism/forum/divine-pride)
We all have this divine light inside of us. To deny it does a great injustice to the world and to ourselves.
Let's be willing to trade our ego pride in for Divine Pride.
References
Video: Published by Michael Scalet( 2017) Opening your Heart with Ani Tenzin Palmo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABgOBv20_fw
ADMoon (Feb, 2014) Divine Pride in Somathread. Retrieved from https://somathread.ning.com/groups/buddhism/forum/divine-pride
Thursday, February 15, 2018
Monday, February 12, 2018
Illuminate
Better to illuminate than merely to shine, to deliver to others contemplated truths than merely to contemplate.
Thomas Aquinas (https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/thomas_aquinas_192548)
I found this poem in my devotional journal this morning as I was going through the thousands of pages to get to where I was at so I could write today lol ( scary that a person can write so much eh?) . The computer just froze the scroll on that page where I wrote this poem in what seemed like so many years ago.
It explains where I am now in my desire to add just a twinkle of light and understanding into my own life and into the lives of others. It also resonates with the quote above from our friend, the 13th century monk, saint and philosopher.
All is well in my world.
Thomas Aquinas (https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/thomas_aquinas_192548)
I found this poem in my devotional journal this morning as I was going through the thousands of pages to get to where I was at so I could write today lol ( scary that a person can write so much eh?) . The computer just froze the scroll on that page where I wrote this poem in what seemed like so many years ago.
It explains where I am now in my desire to add just a twinkle of light and understanding into my own life and into the lives of others. It also resonates with the quote above from our friend, the 13th century monk, saint and philosopher.
All is well in my world.
(Can't tell you what I shot this in because I don't remember lol)
Lamp
Hold your
lamp up high.
Let the
small flame flicker
and glow as you swing
it back
and forth
with every step you take.
Know that
it can be seen
through the thick fog
and
through the darkness
that surrounds this world at times.
Feed the
flame with your sweet breath.
Let it
grow and expand
as the
globe of golden light
extends in
tiny arms of compassion,
reaching
out to the others
stumbling along their paths.
Fan it
with your talk of dreams
and your laughter
and your love
as it
ripples through the thirsty world
quenching
an emptiness
and a need for more.
Watch as
the embers dance and giggle
beneath
the conduction of your joy.
There is nothing to fear.
Do not cup
your hand over it
to defend against others
who might want to blow it out.
Do not dim
it
with the
intention of
conserving
it for darker times.
Let it
shine as bright as it can,
now.
Let it grow
until the
flames lick the stars
and until the healing light
that comes
from you
pours over
the world like
a glorious
sunrise.
Shine your
light brightly,
mesmerizing
all who watch in awe
as you beam
in the way you were meant to beam,
warming
and brightening the entire world
With your
lamp.
©Dale-Lyn
March 2015
Thursday, February 8, 2018
A Story about Resisting What Is
It is what it is. Accept it and move on.
-unknown
I believe that the only thing keeping me upright right now is the caffeine from my tea. :) I have not been perceiving wellness over the last couple of days in my body or in my world. There is something to learn from that.
A Personal Tale of Woe :)
I am going to share a personal experience with you. Boring in detail, maybe, but loaded with learning potential as are all our life experiences.
I worked too many hours on Tuesday in an attempt to keep up with my course load...didn't think too much of it until 3 am following that work day. I woke up with chest heaviness, palpitations, swollen eye lids and an incessant whooshing/clicking in my left ear leaving me a little breathless and dizzy ( think the valve is acting up) as well as an anxious unsettled feeling that wouldn't go away. I couldn't go back to sleep.
My mind, needing to explain the anxious feeling, fed me with all kinds of awful things that might explain it, including a load of shameful and painful memories. I couldn't seem to turn it off. And of course, when I feel this way I notice all the things that are not so great in my life...including a dying washer machine that has decided to flood my washroom and leak through to the basement, a house I cannot keep up-at all, and the constant reminder of people who I need to pay for one thing or another. Ugh!!!! So, in a sense, I was suffering with physical, emotional, mental and circumstantial symptoms that left me perceiving anything but wellness.
Tapping On the Door
These types of symptoms that so many of experience in one way or another from time to time are like taps on the door to our consciousness saying, "Helloooo! Anyone home?" They want in. they want to make us aware of some blockage in the flow of life's energy. Man I tried to hide from them, stand in the corner away from windows and hold my breath until they left...but the pesky visitors wouldn't leave. Life was more than determined to speak to me!
Then like the door to my actual house, which was left wide open this morning while I was sleeping so my dogs could get out and wreak havoc with the neighbors who were snow-blowing ...it came barging in through the door of my moment. I had no choice but to let er rip! I had a mini crisis to deal with. One of my dogs did something I cannot fix or minimize.
In my attempt to accept what happened and retrieve these lovely but untrained dogs I was hit with a chest full of pain and nausea, almost to the point of collapse. My back went out again from being forced to carry this one unwilling creature away from the scene of the crime. More important, I am filled with a sense of dread as I wait for the authorities to show up at my door once again. This time I am afraid the consequences may not be so favorable.
I also found myself fuming!! I was so angry that it got to this point and I was left to handle it. I was angry that my body wouldn't let me do the simplest things...that it wouldn't give me enough energy to train the dogs in the way I know they need to be trained. That it wouldn't even let me carry a dog a few feet to my house without dropping me to my knees. I was angry that my life "was so hard" and angry at anything that made it harder! I was angry that I have been targeted by the neighbors as someone who is irresponsible and uncaring. I was angry and someone had to pay!
So I chose D. and told myself I was angry at him for leaving the door open, for not being here to handle the consequences and for having dogs that did not match his temperament enough so he could train them properly in the first place. So what did I do with my other directed anger? I had to call him and tell him what happened while I was still breathless and recovering from the angina attack because I wanted him to feel guilty. I was projecting my anger outward in a subtle and passive/aggressive form of attack as so many of us do.
"Huh?" My mind interrupted shortly after I hung up. "So that means, Ms. Oh -So-Enlightened One, that you were really angry at the fact that someone you love made a mistake that anyone could have made (not ensuring the door was sealed closed before he left), for going to work to help pay for bills you can't pay for and for being too sweet, kind and gentle with all living things? You should not be angry!!"
My mind interrupted my mental rampage outward by turning it inward through the nasty power of "should?"! What it said made sense but it also blocked a flow of normal emotion through me that could have been easily expressed and released over a bit of time. Instead of allowing me my anger release, ego served me a bowl of anger- resistance with a big dose of guilt and a cherry of shame on top. Instead of going straight to my hips it went straight to my back. Ugh!!!!Anger creates unwanted symptoms in the body but anger-resistance is even worse!
Seeking Refuge in my bed and in my silly thinking
It all seemed to be too much. You know? ...like one of those situations where you go to bed and put the pillow over your head to hide from the rest of the world. I thought as I lay there, "Okay...now I really gotta leave the neighborhood...What are the police going to say and do this time? We have run out of warnings. I do not want the dogs to pay for our neglect in training and I do not want D. to suffer in anyway...(well maybe I am still thinking that I want him to suffer just a bit...lol) . Between the dogs, the dandelions in the summer and the snowplowing I haven't paid for in two years... I am going to be as outcaste as a person can get. How am I going to sell this house when I cannot get the energy to clean it let alone get it ready for viewing? How much damage did that darn washer do anyway? How much damage will it do in the future because I still have to wash clothes and I cannot afford a new one? Do you think anyone will notice big puddles of water dripping from the ceiling? Do you think I can pass it off as a second shower downstairs?
Maybe I will sneak off into the woods by myself somewhere ( or maybe with my dog) and build myself a tiny little home out of twigs and branches. I will leave D. with the neighbors, the other dogs that are getting us into trouble, the house, the washer and the indoor water fall, as well as with the police and the disgruntled unpaid snow plough guy to deal with? What about the kids? I am sure he will look after them if I ask? He is after all very kind.
I mean I will miss everybody and it might be cold and I might get a little hungry...it will be hard going food wise in the winter for a vegetarian...but...I wouldn't have to deal with people and life circumstance and crap...and maybe if it is just me I have to look after I can finally get a handle on my health by becoming like the Buddha. My Boddhi tree will be the big Spruce or Maple along the trail in the woods where I walk. By the spring maybe I will be so covered in Moss or "Grandfather's Beard" no one will recognize me. The neighbors may even begin to revere me as the neighborhood yogi or something? You think? There are options for redemption and avoidance, isn't there?
Sucking it Up
Or maybe I will just suck it up; accept what is; get up out of the bed and face the moment as it is right now.
Sigh!!! You know that is what I gotta do, don't you?
So what is happening in this moment: Chest pain is gone after one shot. Back pain is still there but I can handle that and the more I release resistance to anger, the more the muscles will relax. The dogs are inside. They will be holding their pee for the next ten years of their life...because I am not letting them out again...but the life circumstance between them, the neighbors and myself is just a memory, the sequel to which may or may not happen in the unreality of future. Some of the anger I felt has been released by my willingness to experience it through writing about it. I realize how much I love and appreciate D. I am not at this very moment beating myself up with guilt and shame. Nor am I beating up the now. In this moment right here and right now...I am finding a certain peace; taking a deep breath and just allowing life to be life.
Hmmm! It's all good.
Learning to Let Life Be What It Is
Isn't that what we all have to do? Learn to let life be what she is, and flow through us as she is so inclined to do without resisting her ?
I tell you this story for two reasons: 1. Yes! I wanted to vent and feel sorry for myself for a minute lol! and 2. To share learning. There is so much learning in it that we all can benefit from. Unless you are one of the one percent of truly enlightened masters in the world, you have had such an experience to some degree. You probably have experienced a lack of wellness yourself.
What is the moral then of this major long spiel you may or may not have suffered through?
It is resistance to what is that causes suffering.
So?
Let life do what she is going to do with or without your approval; let others think of you what they are going to think, let animals do what they are going to do ( but work on making it better for all and be willing to accept the consequences if you don't instead of "blaming" the animal or others) and let yourself feel whatever it is you're feeling. Be aware of it, express it. Then let it all pass through you...
Don't resist, don't resist, don't resist.
For more on emotional resistance check out my blog post from February 13, 2017.
All is well.
-unknown
I believe that the only thing keeping me upright right now is the caffeine from my tea. :) I have not been perceiving wellness over the last couple of days in my body or in my world. There is something to learn from that.
A Personal Tale of Woe :)
I am going to share a personal experience with you. Boring in detail, maybe, but loaded with learning potential as are all our life experiences.
I worked too many hours on Tuesday in an attempt to keep up with my course load...didn't think too much of it until 3 am following that work day. I woke up with chest heaviness, palpitations, swollen eye lids and an incessant whooshing/clicking in my left ear leaving me a little breathless and dizzy ( think the valve is acting up) as well as an anxious unsettled feeling that wouldn't go away. I couldn't go back to sleep.
My mind, needing to explain the anxious feeling, fed me with all kinds of awful things that might explain it, including a load of shameful and painful memories. I couldn't seem to turn it off. And of course, when I feel this way I notice all the things that are not so great in my life...including a dying washer machine that has decided to flood my washroom and leak through to the basement, a house I cannot keep up-at all, and the constant reminder of people who I need to pay for one thing or another. Ugh!!!! So, in a sense, I was suffering with physical, emotional, mental and circumstantial symptoms that left me perceiving anything but wellness.
Tapping On the Door
These types of symptoms that so many of experience in one way or another from time to time are like taps on the door to our consciousness saying, "Helloooo! Anyone home?" They want in. they want to make us aware of some blockage in the flow of life's energy. Man I tried to hide from them, stand in the corner away from windows and hold my breath until they left...but the pesky visitors wouldn't leave. Life was more than determined to speak to me!
Then like the door to my actual house, which was left wide open this morning while I was sleeping so my dogs could get out and wreak havoc with the neighbors who were snow-blowing ...it came barging in through the door of my moment. I had no choice but to let er rip! I had a mini crisis to deal with. One of my dogs did something I cannot fix or minimize.
In my attempt to accept what happened and retrieve these lovely but untrained dogs I was hit with a chest full of pain and nausea, almost to the point of collapse. My back went out again from being forced to carry this one unwilling creature away from the scene of the crime. More important, I am filled with a sense of dread as I wait for the authorities to show up at my door once again. This time I am afraid the consequences may not be so favorable.
I also found myself fuming!! I was so angry that it got to this point and I was left to handle it. I was angry that my body wouldn't let me do the simplest things...that it wouldn't give me enough energy to train the dogs in the way I know they need to be trained. That it wouldn't even let me carry a dog a few feet to my house without dropping me to my knees. I was angry that my life "was so hard" and angry at anything that made it harder! I was angry that I have been targeted by the neighbors as someone who is irresponsible and uncaring. I was angry and someone had to pay!
So I chose D. and told myself I was angry at him for leaving the door open, for not being here to handle the consequences and for having dogs that did not match his temperament enough so he could train them properly in the first place. So what did I do with my other directed anger? I had to call him and tell him what happened while I was still breathless and recovering from the angina attack because I wanted him to feel guilty. I was projecting my anger outward in a subtle and passive/aggressive form of attack as so many of us do.
"Huh?" My mind interrupted shortly after I hung up. "So that means, Ms. Oh -So-Enlightened One, that you were really angry at the fact that someone you love made a mistake that anyone could have made (not ensuring the door was sealed closed before he left), for going to work to help pay for bills you can't pay for and for being too sweet, kind and gentle with all living things? You should not be angry!!"
My mind interrupted my mental rampage outward by turning it inward through the nasty power of "should?"! What it said made sense but it also blocked a flow of normal emotion through me that could have been easily expressed and released over a bit of time. Instead of allowing me my anger release, ego served me a bowl of anger- resistance with a big dose of guilt and a cherry of shame on top. Instead of going straight to my hips it went straight to my back. Ugh!!!!Anger creates unwanted symptoms in the body but anger-resistance is even worse!
Seeking Refuge in my bed and in my silly thinking
It all seemed to be too much. You know? ...like one of those situations where you go to bed and put the pillow over your head to hide from the rest of the world. I thought as I lay there, "Okay...now I really gotta leave the neighborhood...What are the police going to say and do this time? We have run out of warnings. I do not want the dogs to pay for our neglect in training and I do not want D. to suffer in anyway...(well maybe I am still thinking that I want him to suffer just a bit...lol) . Between the dogs, the dandelions in the summer and the snowplowing I haven't paid for in two years... I am going to be as outcaste as a person can get. How am I going to sell this house when I cannot get the energy to clean it let alone get it ready for viewing? How much damage did that darn washer do anyway? How much damage will it do in the future because I still have to wash clothes and I cannot afford a new one? Do you think anyone will notice big puddles of water dripping from the ceiling? Do you think I can pass it off as a second shower downstairs?
Maybe I will sneak off into the woods by myself somewhere ( or maybe with my dog) and build myself a tiny little home out of twigs and branches. I will leave D. with the neighbors, the other dogs that are getting us into trouble, the house, the washer and the indoor water fall, as well as with the police and the disgruntled unpaid snow plough guy to deal with? What about the kids? I am sure he will look after them if I ask? He is after all very kind.
I mean I will miss everybody and it might be cold and I might get a little hungry...it will be hard going food wise in the winter for a vegetarian...but...I wouldn't have to deal with people and life circumstance and crap...and maybe if it is just me I have to look after I can finally get a handle on my health by becoming like the Buddha. My Boddhi tree will be the big Spruce or Maple along the trail in the woods where I walk. By the spring maybe I will be so covered in Moss or "Grandfather's Beard" no one will recognize me. The neighbors may even begin to revere me as the neighborhood yogi or something? You think? There are options for redemption and avoidance, isn't there?
Sucking it Up
Or maybe I will just suck it up; accept what is; get up out of the bed and face the moment as it is right now.
Sigh!!! You know that is what I gotta do, don't you?
So what is happening in this moment: Chest pain is gone after one shot. Back pain is still there but I can handle that and the more I release resistance to anger, the more the muscles will relax. The dogs are inside. They will be holding their pee for the next ten years of their life...because I am not letting them out again...but the life circumstance between them, the neighbors and myself is just a memory, the sequel to which may or may not happen in the unreality of future. Some of the anger I felt has been released by my willingness to experience it through writing about it. I realize how much I love and appreciate D. I am not at this very moment beating myself up with guilt and shame. Nor am I beating up the now. In this moment right here and right now...I am finding a certain peace; taking a deep breath and just allowing life to be life.
Hmmm! It's all good.
Learning to Let Life Be What It Is
Isn't that what we all have to do? Learn to let life be what she is, and flow through us as she is so inclined to do without resisting her ?
I tell you this story for two reasons: 1. Yes! I wanted to vent and feel sorry for myself for a minute lol! and 2. To share learning. There is so much learning in it that we all can benefit from. Unless you are one of the one percent of truly enlightened masters in the world, you have had such an experience to some degree. You probably have experienced a lack of wellness yourself.
What is the moral then of this major long spiel you may or may not have suffered through?
It is resistance to what is that causes suffering.
So?
Let life do what she is going to do with or without your approval; let others think of you what they are going to think, let animals do what they are going to do ( but work on making it better for all and be willing to accept the consequences if you don't instead of "blaming" the animal or others) and let yourself feel whatever it is you're feeling. Be aware of it, express it. Then let it all pass through you...
Don't resist, don't resist, don't resist.
For more on emotional resistance check out my blog post from February 13, 2017.
All is well.
Sunday, February 4, 2018
Following the Heart
Follow Your Heart and Make it Your Decision
Mia Hamm (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/follow_your_heart)
Back to seeing referrer spam amongst one or two hits to my blog a day...meaning that my readership is pretty much non- existent at this point. :) Am I okay with that? I think so. It is what it is and what is, is always okay. I also understand. The mere mention of spirituality can lead to the prickly-spine reaction in others and what do I mention more than anything else here? Spirituality. :)
I know my topic choice and content may be off setting to many people. So few people are willing to go there where I dare to go. To have someone with no real credentials other than my own learning be the soul writer in this blog...could put people off even more. "Who does she think she is to write such things? Why should I believe or even read a word she writes?" I can understand that because I ask myself the same questions.
Then why the heck do I do it...why do I come here?
I just feel this strong compulsion to teach what I am learning (or unlearning). As I said 100 times I am no expert. I have no answers. I know absolutely nothing about anything. (How is that for a resume worthy description? lol) My motivation to write this blog is based more on compulsion and gut feeling than anything else. I am getting a taste of something so healing, so wonderful...so life changing that I feel I have to share it. I also have selfish reasons. I learn as I teach and I so desperately want to learn.
I am pulled here...for whatever reason...I need to be here.
Readiness is Essential and I am ready
It is not my intention to preach or push people into an awareness they are not ready for. I know how futile that would have been if someone tried that with me twenty years ago. That's not how this works...readiness is essential.
As I look around me or whisper the word spirit to others, I come to see how so few people are ready. The reaction I get is often one of judgment, defense, dismissal or even attack. Most people actively resist the notion of spirituality. I once read somewhere...that only 1 % of the population are where I want to be....who get what I am trying to get fully. Though few are fully enlightened, the world is at a point where more and more of us are making the shift. I am encouraged to read that there are more people like me, beginning the process of waking up in their busy worlds, than there ever was before. If other people are starting to question, to wonder, to ask: "Is there more than this?" is it not my duty then to say, "Yeah! I think so! This is what I am learning?"
So I am ready to share. I put it all out there...discretely, non aggressively and with little to no expectation. I wait for someone who is ready for what I have to offer to receive it. I have had readerships as small as one per day and as high as 500 per day. I had very little to do with any of it. People who find themselves here do not do so because I "lured" them here lol. They are here because they either "stumbled upon my page" or came to check me out after something else I published elsewhere. (I will offer my blog site in those bios following my articles.)
No Expectations
Once they hit my page I sit back and wait to see if they are ready to receive the message or if they dismiss it and move on. I do not change my course to attract more readers or to keep them. I do not write to please egos...theirs or my own. I just write what I feel is truth at the time. Knowing that sometimes it will be received but many more times it won't. I am perfectly okay with whatever they choose to do. I wish them well regardless. And I keep writing.
Following My Heart
I am not sure at this point if I should do something different in the future to attract more readers. I am not sure if this is the medium to get the message out there. And I am not even sure if I am the one to get it out there. Right now...I just follow my heart which tells me to write the way I write about what I write and not to worry about the readership. It will be what it will be.
If I am pulled in another direction in the future I will go...but for now...and of course now is all there is....I find myself here sharing a message regardless if I have readers or not.
All is well in my world
Mia Hamm (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/follow_your_heart)
Back to seeing referrer spam amongst one or two hits to my blog a day...meaning that my readership is pretty much non- existent at this point. :) Am I okay with that? I think so. It is what it is and what is, is always okay. I also understand. The mere mention of spirituality can lead to the prickly-spine reaction in others and what do I mention more than anything else here? Spirituality. :)
I know my topic choice and content may be off setting to many people. So few people are willing to go there where I dare to go. To have someone with no real credentials other than my own learning be the soul writer in this blog...could put people off even more. "Who does she think she is to write such things? Why should I believe or even read a word she writes?" I can understand that because I ask myself the same questions.
Then why the heck do I do it...why do I come here?
I just feel this strong compulsion to teach what I am learning (or unlearning). As I said 100 times I am no expert. I have no answers. I know absolutely nothing about anything. (How is that for a resume worthy description? lol) My motivation to write this blog is based more on compulsion and gut feeling than anything else. I am getting a taste of something so healing, so wonderful...so life changing that I feel I have to share it. I also have selfish reasons. I learn as I teach and I so desperately want to learn.
I am pulled here...for whatever reason...I need to be here.
Readiness is Essential and I am ready
It is not my intention to preach or push people into an awareness they are not ready for. I know how futile that would have been if someone tried that with me twenty years ago. That's not how this works...readiness is essential.
As I look around me or whisper the word spirit to others, I come to see how so few people are ready. The reaction I get is often one of judgment, defense, dismissal or even attack. Most people actively resist the notion of spirituality. I once read somewhere...that only 1 % of the population are where I want to be....who get what I am trying to get fully. Though few are fully enlightened, the world is at a point where more and more of us are making the shift. I am encouraged to read that there are more people like me, beginning the process of waking up in their busy worlds, than there ever was before. If other people are starting to question, to wonder, to ask: "Is there more than this?" is it not my duty then to say, "Yeah! I think so! This is what I am learning?"
So I am ready to share. I put it all out there...discretely, non aggressively and with little to no expectation. I wait for someone who is ready for what I have to offer to receive it. I have had readerships as small as one per day and as high as 500 per day. I had very little to do with any of it. People who find themselves here do not do so because I "lured" them here lol. They are here because they either "stumbled upon my page" or came to check me out after something else I published elsewhere. (I will offer my blog site in those bios following my articles.)
No Expectations
Once they hit my page I sit back and wait to see if they are ready to receive the message or if they dismiss it and move on. I do not change my course to attract more readers or to keep them. I do not write to please egos...theirs or my own. I just write what I feel is truth at the time. Knowing that sometimes it will be received but many more times it won't. I am perfectly okay with whatever they choose to do. I wish them well regardless. And I keep writing.
Following My Heart
I am not sure at this point if I should do something different in the future to attract more readers. I am not sure if this is the medium to get the message out there. And I am not even sure if I am the one to get it out there. Right now...I just follow my heart which tells me to write the way I write about what I write and not to worry about the readership. It will be what it will be.
If I am pulled in another direction in the future I will go...but for now...and of course now is all there is....I find myself here sharing a message regardless if I have readers or not.
All is well in my world
Friday, February 2, 2018
Before summing Up Lesson One: Stop Narrating
When we see the world through our thoughts, we stop experiencing life as it really is and others as they really are.
-Adyashanti (Fall Into Grace)
Lesson One was a long lesson :). Before I summarize what was hopefully taught and hopefully learned by someone ( readership is way down again and I just want to believe that at least one person is getting something from it...even if it is "just me". If it is me it is never "just me" is it?) ...I want to talk about narrating our experiences.
Narrating our Way Through Life
I first was introduced to the idea of how we humans narrate our lives away when I watched an Eckhart Tolle video a while back. In the video, he and his wife were sitting with an interviewer on a park bench in Vancouver. They were watching people, animals and things go past them in front of the water from the lake. Tolle was telling the interviewer in order to be fully present here and now he should look about him without narrating everything he seen; without describing it or analyzing it...to just observe, and experience. "Being" in the present moment is stepping away from the "thinking, judging and labelling" of it to just experiencing it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3CunRgjXBk
The basic lesson he shared then is that thinking your way through life is not living it. Putting words to the experience diminishes it to a thought or idea...and it creates this illusion that we "know" all there is to know about it. As soon as we reduce something to a name, thought, description or idea, we lose touch with the wonderment, the magic, the connection with life.
A Chronic Narrator
That lesson blew me away because I (my little "me") am a chronic narrator. I am constantly describing things as I see them, hear them, taste them etc. I am forever putting that experience into words because I am addicted to words. Words help me make sense of my experience...well so I thought. What I do though when I narrate my way through life is I stay an observer rather than an active participant. I am like a journalist recording an extraordinary event from the sidelines. But I am not actually a part of it. hmmm! As a writer I want to name things; love to describe things and in so doing I judge and label. As a human being, I want to "be' there fully.
A Lesson from Falling Into Grace
Adyashanti, in Falling into Grace, talks about this in the beginning of his book. He shares a line from spiritual teacher, Krishnamurti: "When you teach a child that a bird is named 'bird,' the child will never see the bird again."
What the child seen before the naming was a beautiful magical expression of life flying through the sky. He or she would have felt great wonderment and joy...connection. But as soon as we teach the child by naming things and experiences...all the child will see from then on is the word. He will only see 'bird.' He or she will then assume that they know what a bird is and when someone asks them, as they point to a lovely bird flying by, "What's that?"...the child will answer with so little excitement, "Oh that is just a bird."
How many things in our life have become "just a " something? How many people have become "just a someone..."Oh that's just so-and -so." How many moments of our lives have become narrations rather than experiences?
How do we stop Narrating
All is well
Adyashanti (2013) Falling Into Grace. Sounds True.
-Adyashanti (Fall Into Grace)
Lesson One was a long lesson :). Before I summarize what was hopefully taught and hopefully learned by someone ( readership is way down again and I just want to believe that at least one person is getting something from it...even if it is "just me". If it is me it is never "just me" is it?) ...I want to talk about narrating our experiences.
Narrating our Way Through Life
I first was introduced to the idea of how we humans narrate our lives away when I watched an Eckhart Tolle video a while back. In the video, he and his wife were sitting with an interviewer on a park bench in Vancouver. They were watching people, animals and things go past them in front of the water from the lake. Tolle was telling the interviewer in order to be fully present here and now he should look about him without narrating everything he seen; without describing it or analyzing it...to just observe, and experience. "Being" in the present moment is stepping away from the "thinking, judging and labelling" of it to just experiencing it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3CunRgjXBk
The basic lesson he shared then is that thinking your way through life is not living it. Putting words to the experience diminishes it to a thought or idea...and it creates this illusion that we "know" all there is to know about it. As soon as we reduce something to a name, thought, description or idea, we lose touch with the wonderment, the magic, the connection with life.
A Chronic Narrator
That lesson blew me away because I (my little "me") am a chronic narrator. I am constantly describing things as I see them, hear them, taste them etc. I am forever putting that experience into words because I am addicted to words. Words help me make sense of my experience...well so I thought. What I do though when I narrate my way through life is I stay an observer rather than an active participant. I am like a journalist recording an extraordinary event from the sidelines. But I am not actually a part of it. hmmm! As a writer I want to name things; love to describe things and in so doing I judge and label. As a human being, I want to "be' there fully.
A Lesson from Falling Into Grace
Adyashanti, in Falling into Grace, talks about this in the beginning of his book. He shares a line from spiritual teacher, Krishnamurti: "When you teach a child that a bird is named 'bird,' the child will never see the bird again."
What the child seen before the naming was a beautiful magical expression of life flying through the sky. He or she would have felt great wonderment and joy...connection. But as soon as we teach the child by naming things and experiences...all the child will see from then on is the word. He will only see 'bird.' He or she will then assume that they know what a bird is and when someone asks them, as they point to a lovely bird flying by, "What's that?"...the child will answer with so little excitement, "Oh that is just a bird."
How many things in our life have become "just a " something? How many people have become "just a someone..."Oh that's just so-and -so." How many moments of our lives have become narrations rather than experiences?
How do we stop Narrating
- Be Aware: Without straining or struggling, just be aware of yourself as a narrator. Just observe yourself narrating
- Relax, avoid resisting your thoughts, your narrations...According to Adyashanti, thoughts come in and out of our mind without our conscious control.
- See thought form for what it is....nothing. Just a veil between us and the Truth. It is that veil that makes us suffer
- Accept that you know nothing...accept that you are not seeing things as they really are. That you do not know what they are beyond the veil.
- Breathe: One sure way to bring you back from thought is to take a deep breath and focus on the air going in and the air going out. (Do this without the play by play sports commentary lol)
- Notice the silent space between the breath, where your thoughts will go when they are ready. Notice the space . " Rather, it's about beginning to notice that there is a silence that is always present, and that noise happens within this silence - even the noise of the mind. You can start to see that every thought arises against a back drop of absolute silence. Thought arises literally within a thoughtless world-each idea appears in a vast space." Adyashanti
- Let Go to the silence that is always present
All is well
Adyashanti (2013) Falling Into Grace. Sounds True.
Thursday, February 1, 2018
Disturbed?
Jesus said, "Those who seek should not stop seeking until they find. When they find, they will be disturbed. When they are disturbed, they will marvel and reign over all."
Gospels of Thomas Collection (see below)
Where is the Reward for Seeking?
When I finished reading/studying the text for A Course in Miracles for the third time, I finally felt like I was "getting it". After rereading it and other spiritual scripture, studying , thinking, and dreaming about the teachings I could finally say I was learning. I was indeed waking up. Then suddenly I felt myself disturbed.
I was an emotional and mental mess. My head was full of ruminating thoughts about worldly things an awakening person I assumed should not be thinking about. so I felt guilty and ashamed. I couldn't meditate without agitation. I felt out of place everywhere I went, unsure of myself, anyone or anything. I was doubtful, fearful, anxious. I couldn't get my mind to work in the precise way it used to. I couldn't even teach right, think right, write right or talk right. I couldn't seem to "fix" my moment in the way I was used to-by gift wrapping it in a pretty package of words and thoughts that I could hold away from this image I had of myself and admire from a distance. That wasn't going to work anymore. I felt sick as if ego was wrapping its sticky fingers around my throat and chest squeezing the awakening right out of me. And I was pissed!
"Say what??!!! " I found myself asking the universe. "WTFront door. That was 669 pages of hard core reading and analyzing. Am I not supposed to be getting peace now? Do I not now deserve to gain the rewards of all my hard work? I suffered enough, read enough, studied enough, analyzed enough, "did" enough, did I not, to get the prize? Why am I feeling everything but peace?"
The universe didn't answer...or at least not obviously.
Letting Go of the Familiar
Somehow and in some way, I was made aware of this spiritual teacher and this book he wrote. It was almost as if it was a planned sequel to my learning from A Course, the missing piece, even though I am sure that is not what the author intended (to be the missing piece for my learning lol). When I began to read, Adyashanti's, Fall into Grace, I instantly realized what was happening. I was falling (undoing, atoning) and on the way down I was looking for something familiar to cling to.
What was familiar was the connection I had with words, identities, behaviours, thoughts and beliefs. It was by these things I identified myself, I identified life. What was familiar was the chaos, the mess in my head, the fear. What was familiar was ego. That is what I reached for.
The, "Who Am I?" Question
What I was getting from A CIM and all the other spiritual seeking I was doing was that...I am not these things. It was leading me to ask the question: Without them, who the heck am I? What is life? What is anything?
When we believe what we think, when we take our thinking to be reality, we will suffer.- Adyashanti, Fall into Grace
The learning I gained from a Course didn't add "knowledge' to my mind...it actually undid it and took it away. I learned that what I thought I knew, I don't know. It floored me to realize I know nothing...absolutely nothing about anything.
Free Fallin'
So here I am free falling into what I hope ( but do not know ) will be grace. I have no knowledge. I have no perception of stable ground beneath me. I have no identity. It's bloody scary!
I am afraid of the landing even though I actively sought it. So what do I do instinct wise- I grab onto ego thoughts and ideas, names and identities...anything that will break my fall. Yet, I am aware enough to know that if I grab onto anything I will go nowhere. I will remain stuck. I also know (or think I know because of my understanding of science lol) that the softest landing is one where I do not tense up and resist the impact. So I feel like a mess because I am trying to cling, trying to let go. I am trying to fall gently into grace and at the same time I am tensing up and resisting the fall.
That is where I am right now in my awakening. Not near the grace I long for but getting there. At this point I have this inner feeling that I do not need to do anything but continue falling. It is ego that tells me I have to grab, cling, fix this moment of free fall. It is spirit that tells me to just lay back in the space and let the moment be. Grace already has her strong protective arms around me. I am safe. I was always safe even though I know nothing.
Spirit is in a state of grace forever. Your reality is only spirit. Therefore you are in a state of grace forever.- ACIM
(Thought I would share that with you in case you can relate. :))
All is well
References/ Recommended Reads
Adyashanti (2013) Falling into Grace. Sounds True.
Foundation for Inner Peace. (2007) A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume. Third Edition. Mill Valley: Foundations for Inner Peace
Patterson, Stephen & Myers, Myers-translators (n.d.) The Gospels of Thomas: The Nag Hammadi Library. from The Gnostic Society Library. Retrieved from http://gnosis.org/naghamm/gosthom.html (So interested in reading these in more detail)
Gospels of Thomas Collection (see below)
Where is the Reward for Seeking?
When I finished reading/studying the text for A Course in Miracles for the third time, I finally felt like I was "getting it". After rereading it and other spiritual scripture, studying , thinking, and dreaming about the teachings I could finally say I was learning. I was indeed waking up. Then suddenly I felt myself disturbed.
I was an emotional and mental mess. My head was full of ruminating thoughts about worldly things an awakening person I assumed should not be thinking about. so I felt guilty and ashamed. I couldn't meditate without agitation. I felt out of place everywhere I went, unsure of myself, anyone or anything. I was doubtful, fearful, anxious. I couldn't get my mind to work in the precise way it used to. I couldn't even teach right, think right, write right or talk right. I couldn't seem to "fix" my moment in the way I was used to-by gift wrapping it in a pretty package of words and thoughts that I could hold away from this image I had of myself and admire from a distance. That wasn't going to work anymore. I felt sick as if ego was wrapping its sticky fingers around my throat and chest squeezing the awakening right out of me. And I was pissed!
"Say what??!!! " I found myself asking the universe. "WTFront door. That was 669 pages of hard core reading and analyzing. Am I not supposed to be getting peace now? Do I not now deserve to gain the rewards of all my hard work? I suffered enough, read enough, studied enough, analyzed enough, "did" enough, did I not, to get the prize? Why am I feeling everything but peace?"
The universe didn't answer...or at least not obviously.
Letting Go of the Familiar
Somehow and in some way, I was made aware of this spiritual teacher and this book he wrote. It was almost as if it was a planned sequel to my learning from A Course, the missing piece, even though I am sure that is not what the author intended (to be the missing piece for my learning lol). When I began to read, Adyashanti's, Fall into Grace, I instantly realized what was happening. I was falling (undoing, atoning) and on the way down I was looking for something familiar to cling to.
What was familiar was the connection I had with words, identities, behaviours, thoughts and beliefs. It was by these things I identified myself, I identified life. What was familiar was the chaos, the mess in my head, the fear. What was familiar was ego. That is what I reached for.
The, "Who Am I?" Question
What I was getting from A CIM and all the other spiritual seeking I was doing was that...I am not these things. It was leading me to ask the question: Without them, who the heck am I? What is life? What is anything?
When we believe what we think, when we take our thinking to be reality, we will suffer.- Adyashanti, Fall into Grace
The learning I gained from a Course didn't add "knowledge' to my mind...it actually undid it and took it away. I learned that what I thought I knew, I don't know. It floored me to realize I know nothing...absolutely nothing about anything.
Free Fallin'
So here I am free falling into what I hope ( but do not know ) will be grace. I have no knowledge. I have no perception of stable ground beneath me. I have no identity. It's bloody scary!
I am afraid of the landing even though I actively sought it. So what do I do instinct wise- I grab onto ego thoughts and ideas, names and identities...anything that will break my fall. Yet, I am aware enough to know that if I grab onto anything I will go nowhere. I will remain stuck. I also know (or think I know because of my understanding of science lol) that the softest landing is one where I do not tense up and resist the impact. So I feel like a mess because I am trying to cling, trying to let go. I am trying to fall gently into grace and at the same time I am tensing up and resisting the fall.
That is where I am right now in my awakening. Not near the grace I long for but getting there. At this point I have this inner feeling that I do not need to do anything but continue falling. It is ego that tells me I have to grab, cling, fix this moment of free fall. It is spirit that tells me to just lay back in the space and let the moment be. Grace already has her strong protective arms around me. I am safe. I was always safe even though I know nothing.
Spirit is in a state of grace forever. Your reality is only spirit. Therefore you are in a state of grace forever.- ACIM
(Thought I would share that with you in case you can relate. :))
All is well
References/ Recommended Reads
Adyashanti (2013) Falling into Grace. Sounds True.
Foundation for Inner Peace. (2007) A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume. Third Edition. Mill Valley: Foundations for Inner Peace
Patterson, Stephen & Myers, Myers-translators (n.d.) The Gospels of Thomas: The Nag Hammadi Library. from The Gnostic Society Library. Retrieved from http://gnosis.org/naghamm/gosthom.html (So interested in reading these in more detail)
Tuesday, January 30, 2018
Life: The Eternal Expression of Spirit
Everything, in its way, is a gift-even the painful things. In reality, all of life-every moment, every experience-is an expression of spirit.
-Adyashanti Falling into Grace
Accepting things exactly as they are is not always an easy task but without resistance we can simply experience life as it is in the eternal moment. Why is it so hard for us to get that?
All is well (exactly as it is).
-Adyashanti Falling into Grace
Accepting things exactly as they are is not always an easy task but without resistance we can simply experience life as it is in the eternal moment. Why is it so hard for us to get that?
All is well (exactly as it is).
Saturday, January 27, 2018
Choosing what you see
There is another way of looking at the world.
-ACIM: Lesson 33
(I know! I know! Recycling pictures. I just have not been shooting lol)
These lessons speak to the idea of changing our perceptions which lies in Lesson One. We have a choice of how we see the world around us and in us. We are not victims to the worlds we see but creators of it. Hmmm! How does that idea go down? :)
I could see peace other than this.
ACIM: Lesson 34
Thursday, January 25, 2018
Beyond Mind Change to Letting Things Be
When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; when I sit in my own place of patience what I need flows to me, and without pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it.
Rumi- (http://www.azquotes.com/quote/528536)
Let it Be
After all that writing on the need to change our minds there is something I am learning. I won't find or know or be able to teach anything until I allow things to be exactly as they are.
Changing our mind is not where we leave this. Changing our mind is an action and freedom from the mind we are caught in does not result from action. Like everything of Truth, freedom simply results from simply being. We need to allow whatever is happening right here and right now to be what it is.
Huh?
Waking Up in a Huge Net
Imagine yourself caught in a huge net. You want the freedom of floating in the perfect, crystal clear water around you. But you are stuck in a net. You resist the entrapment. You struggle to get out but the more you struggle the more ensnared in this net you get.
When we begin to wake up and realize we are caught in ego mind and know it is not where we want to be we begin to resist the net which is made up of our attachment, thinking, believing, conditioning, struggle to get ahead etc. We are not where we want to be. We want the freedom of peace of mind...of clarity of Love...what God has given us as our birthright that exists when and only when we get out of this trap.
We decide, at least in part, we want the freedom on the other side. So we begin our spiritual journey to get out of the net. We begin a struggle against the ego and everything it stands for. We begin pulling at the strands of mental fiber that are holding us back. We resist thought or actively try to change it with thought. We work on our thinking. We attempt to "solve" the problem of ego. We defend and attack against it. We try to "fix" our illusions. We "read and study" the scriptures and every piece of spiritual wisdom out there. We "give up", "lose" and sacrifice the things of the physical world a little at a time. We "go" inside, seeing meditation as an action, a means to an end. We "seek" the truth and hold our breaths until we find it. We give up our peace in the now and struggle to find spiritual reality in the future. What we are doing is "fighting" resisting and struggling to find peace. Is that not an oxymoron in itself?
Stop resisting
What we are looking for on our spiritual journey will not be found in struggle and resistance. We cannot put an end to thinking traps by thinking, doing traps by doing. What we resists persists, does it not? This ego hold on us continues to persist as long as we are "actively resisting it". We won't get there if we go from one doing to the next dependent on some future time to have the answers we are looking for.
What we have to realize is that we are already where we want to be. We are in the water, always have been, always will be. The net is not holding us back...our resistance to it is. We need to stop struggling, stop fighting, stop seeking, stop "doing" , stop "trying" and just be. We need to let this moment be exactly what it is, perception of net and all. When we do that and I mean truly do that...the net erodes away because we realize what it was, was never enough to hold us back.
Truth trumps perception because it just is. Freedom just is. God just is. We just are!...
We won't find true spiritual sense by doing, just being. We won't find it in the future, just now. And we won't know who we are until we realize who we are doesn't matter.
Be not content with future happiness. It has no meaning, and is not just reward. For you have cause for freedom now.
ACIM, Chapter 26:VIII:9:1-3
Rumi- (http://www.azquotes.com/quote/528536)
Let it Be
After all that writing on the need to change our minds there is something I am learning. I won't find or know or be able to teach anything until I allow things to be exactly as they are.
Changing our mind is not where we leave this. Changing our mind is an action and freedom from the mind we are caught in does not result from action. Like everything of Truth, freedom simply results from simply being. We need to allow whatever is happening right here and right now to be what it is.
Huh?
Waking Up in a Huge Net
Imagine yourself caught in a huge net. You want the freedom of floating in the perfect, crystal clear water around you. But you are stuck in a net. You resist the entrapment. You struggle to get out but the more you struggle the more ensnared in this net you get.
When we begin to wake up and realize we are caught in ego mind and know it is not where we want to be we begin to resist the net which is made up of our attachment, thinking, believing, conditioning, struggle to get ahead etc. We are not where we want to be. We want the freedom of peace of mind...of clarity of Love...what God has given us as our birthright that exists when and only when we get out of this trap.
We decide, at least in part, we want the freedom on the other side. So we begin our spiritual journey to get out of the net. We begin a struggle against the ego and everything it stands for. We begin pulling at the strands of mental fiber that are holding us back. We resist thought or actively try to change it with thought. We work on our thinking. We attempt to "solve" the problem of ego. We defend and attack against it. We try to "fix" our illusions. We "read and study" the scriptures and every piece of spiritual wisdom out there. We "give up", "lose" and sacrifice the things of the physical world a little at a time. We "go" inside, seeing meditation as an action, a means to an end. We "seek" the truth and hold our breaths until we find it. We give up our peace in the now and struggle to find spiritual reality in the future. What we are doing is "fighting" resisting and struggling to find peace. Is that not an oxymoron in itself?
Stop resisting
What we are looking for on our spiritual journey will not be found in struggle and resistance. We cannot put an end to thinking traps by thinking, doing traps by doing. What we resists persists, does it not? This ego hold on us continues to persist as long as we are "actively resisting it". We won't get there if we go from one doing to the next dependent on some future time to have the answers we are looking for.
What we have to realize is that we are already where we want to be. We are in the water, always have been, always will be. The net is not holding us back...our resistance to it is. We need to stop struggling, stop fighting, stop seeking, stop "doing" , stop "trying" and just be. We need to let this moment be exactly what it is, perception of net and all. When we do that and I mean truly do that...the net erodes away because we realize what it was, was never enough to hold us back.
Truth trumps perception because it just is. Freedom just is. God just is. We just are!...
We won't find true spiritual sense by doing, just being. We won't find it in the future, just now. And we won't know who we are until we realize who we are doesn't matter.
Be not content with future happiness. It has no meaning, and is not just reward. For you have cause for freedom now.
ACIM, Chapter 26:VIII:9:1-3
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
All About the Healing
Changing is not just changing the things outside of us. First of all we need the right view that transcends all notions including of being and non-being, creator and creature, mind and spirit. That kind of insight is crucial for transformation and healing.
Thich Nhat Hanh
Wow! I have been on Lesson One for a long time. I believe it to be the most important lesson in our healing process. So what do I mean by healing anyway?
Healing, to me is restoring balance in our lives and reaching or re-establishing holistic wellness. It is creating optimal health in all the dimensions of little self...body, mind, relationships, life circumstances etc so that we are "fit" enough take the final most crucial step into wellness. I believe this step begins with being ready to have the little me step back so the greater "I" "Self" can step forward to guide our lives. It ends with our full awakening...our remembering that the greater Self is all we are.
Huh?
I am simply saying that I believe healing involves two stages: the physical world healing and the healing of atonement: waking up beyond the limits of the physical world.
1) Physical World Healing: We need to take care of the things we perceive with the five senses before we can wake up in this busy world to get beyond them. :) We need to take care of our bodies, our minds, our relationships with one another and our environment (which includes Mother Earth, of course).
2) Atonement: Here we need to let go of attachment to all the things we worked so hard to take care of in the first stage. We realize there illusionary and temporary nature. We then go beyond physical sight and sensing to true vision...seeing what is real. We see we are not the bodies we take care of; we are not the separate little minds we think we are changing our thoughts in; and this world is not the way we see it.
1) Physical world healing
Taking Care of the Body
I am in the process of attempting to re-establish a sense of physical wellness in my life. I perceive and experience physical limitation and loss. I used to be quite fit: I was actually a certified fitness instructor at one point, did an hour of yoga a day, I ran, hiked, danced, skated, and cross country skied to name a few of my active pursuits. I loved to "move" my body. I loved my work where I taught about the miraculous functioning of the body (among other things). Though I was never the greatest housekeeper I liked being able to maintain some semblance of cleanliness and order. I thoroughly enjoyed playing with and encouraging activity in my children-we had a blast! I loved and was very attached to the active and full life I had. Now, I will sometimes be overwhelmed with a great sense of loss because I no longer have it.
Because of a perceived health condition I am reduced to working 9-10 hours a week, ten minutes of yoga a day and short walks in the woods as the extent of my physicality. My house which was the first thing I was willing to give up lol...is messy and chaotic most times. Though I still encourage activity in my youngest I do so from my sedentary position and that makes me a hypocrite. I am by other and "little self" perception limited.
I am looking for away to rise above that with less (to as little as possible) dependence on medicine ( I am not a fan of the medical model or my past experiences with it). I limit myself to the bare minimum in medication...just enough to keep my pulse from fluctuating too much and keeping the coronary spasms to a minimum. I am aware of what my body is doing and I do my best to listen and learn from my symptoms. I monitor myself. I rest when I need to. At the same time, I constantly try to increase exercise and exertion in my daily routine ( I was never one to be afraid of pushing myself physically but after the death of one sister and heart attacks in two others at early ages I know not to push too much). I eat right following a predominantly plant based diet which I intend to develop into a vegan one. (I sincerely believe that besides stress and negative belief, diet is the biggest indicator of disease). I try to drink enough fluid to keep my valve moving forward smoothly and my blood pressure up as to avoid the nose plants I am famous for at work. I take care of my body and seek Physical wellness.
Yet I know this is such a tiny, tiny part of my healing because the body is such an insignificant part of who I am. I also know my body is at the mercy of my mind. If I truly envision health...I will have health. If I see illness and limitation that is what I'll have. I am obviously still dependent on sight over vision so I feel that even more important than taking care of my body, comes the taking care of my mind!
Taking Care of the Mind
The wanna be psychologist in me is so hung up on this notion that if we change our thinking we can have healthy minds, healthy bodies and healthy, abundant lives. Our relationships and external circumstances are never the problem if life isn't going the way we want it to...how we respond to them is. Healing the mind by changing our unhealthy thought processes can definitely heal our lives. It is also the first step into our true healing.
2) True Healing: Atonement
This is where this blog is hopefully taking us. In order to get beyond the little self to the greater Self; from illusions to Truth and from fear to Love we need to see not with the body's eyes but with Spirit's. That begins with changing the way we think...thus my big long spiel in Lesson One.
We will get to true healing ...one step at a time, one lesson at a time.
All is well.
Saturday, January 20, 2018
Don't Take My word for It
Why am I going on, and on, and on about changing the way we think? lol Because I believe it is the answer to everything :) Why take my word for it when so many more wiser individuals have said the same thing?
Nothing but your thoughts can attack you.
ACIM: Lesson 26:4:2
As a man thinketh, so does he perceive. Therefore seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world.
ACIM: Chapter 21:Intro:1:6-7
As the mind, so the person; bondage or liberation are in your own mind.
Satchidananda (2012) The Yoga sutras of Patanjali. Buckingham:Integral Yoga Publications page
So by changing your mind, you change everything.
Satchidananda (2012) The Yoga sutras of Patanjali. Buckingham:Integral Yoga Publications page 9
Do not model yourselves on the behavior of the world around you, but let your behavior change, modeled by your new mind.
Romans 12:2 ( Jer.Bible)
Set your mind on the things above, not on the things of earth.
Colossians 3:2
We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.
Buddha(https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/thoughts)
Change your thoughts and you change the world.
Norman Vincent Peale ( https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/thoughts)
A man is but the product of his thoughts. what he thinks, he becomes.
Mahatma Gandhi (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/thoughts)
All action results from thought, so it is thoughts that matter.
Sai Baba(https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/thoughts)
And we could go on and on and on. You get the point. I will soon leave lesson one but before I do I want to make sure that we all know just how important our thoughts are in determining the quality of our lives and the world we see. If we want to change our lives, we need to change our minds.
All is well
Nothing but your thoughts can attack you.
ACIM: Lesson 26:4:2
As a man thinketh, so does he perceive. Therefore seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world.
ACIM: Chapter 21:Intro:1:6-7
As the mind, so the person; bondage or liberation are in your own mind.
Satchidananda (2012) The Yoga sutras of Patanjali. Buckingham:Integral Yoga Publications page
So by changing your mind, you change everything.
Satchidananda (2012) The Yoga sutras of Patanjali. Buckingham:Integral Yoga Publications page 9
Do not model yourselves on the behavior of the world around you, but let your behavior change, modeled by your new mind.
Romans 12:2 ( Jer.Bible)
Set your mind on the things above, not on the things of earth.
Colossians 3:2
We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.
Buddha(https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/thoughts)
Change your thoughts and you change the world.
Norman Vincent Peale ( https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/thoughts)
A man is but the product of his thoughts. what he thinks, he becomes.
Mahatma Gandhi (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/thoughts)
All action results from thought, so it is thoughts that matter.
Sai Baba(https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/thoughts)
And we could go on and on and on. You get the point. I will soon leave lesson one but before I do I want to make sure that we all know just how important our thoughts are in determining the quality of our lives and the world we see. If we want to change our lives, we need to change our minds.
All is well
Friday, January 19, 2018
Look to what words point to...not the words themselves!
The truth is that you are responsible for what you think because it is only at this level that you can exercise choice.
ACIM:2:VI:2:5-7
I love this analogy.
There is a story found on this wonderful site I would like you to check out called High Existence . (Please see the references at the bottom of the page). In this story a Zen teacher was walking on a beautiful moonlit evening . He was asked a question by one of his brightest students, who was walking beside him, about the troublesome contradictions he found amongst the words of the Buddhist doctrine.
The teacher answered the boy by calling his happy dog who loved to fetch everything to his side. The teacher pointed to the moon and told the dog to fetch the moon for him. The dog sat where he was, wagging his tail, staring at the teacher's finger.
The teacher then warned the boy not to be like his dog who was confusing the pointing finger with the thing pointed at.
Words are only pointing fingers, guideposts leading us to a greater understanding and knowledge. They, in themselves, though powerful are not knowledge. Be mindful of them, learn from them but know you must fight your way through them to the truth they are pointing at.
All is well!
Story from:
High Existence (n.d.) 7 Zen stories that just might give you a glimpse of enlightenment. Retrieved from http://highexistence.com/7-zen-stories-that-give-you-a-glimpse-of-enlightenment/
High Existence (n.d.) 7 Zen stories that just might give you a glimpse of enlightenment. Retrieved from http://highexistence.com/7-zen-stories-that-give-you-a-glimpse-of-enlightenment/
Lesson One: Learning the Hard Way
The Mind that accepts attack cannot love.
-ACIM Chapter 7: VI: 2:1
I literally heard myself, less than an hour ago, saying to my son while I literally wagged my finger in his direction. "I can't sit back and watch you do this! You(!!) need to get up and be responsible. You should know better by now: This isn't how adult life works!" I heard myself. I seen myself. I cringed but I just kept going. I felt the limitation, the imprisonment, the pressure, the projection, the blame, the guilt and the guilt shifting. I felt some sick relief from the heaviness of my own guilt. That relief did not last but a second.
I soon felt like a complete failure as I stood over him with my finger out. "What a hypocrite I am! What a terrible parent!!" I thought to myself. I watched with horror as I spouted out my toxic words. I just yesterday felt so compelled to do a video on the three words to avoid. I did exactly what I said not to do. I used all those three words and a lot more. Wow!
I did catch myself...eventually... and I sat myself down on the side of his bed. Of course having full fledged symptoms because of my emotional reaction had something to do with my need to stop. As I sat there I began to see and "feel" clearly. I knew my worry, my fear, my parental guilt and helplessness had just all come out of me in a whirlwind of emotion, like a fire ball of yuckiness I spit out of my mouth and onto him. "You take this stuff!" I was in a sense saying. "I don't want it in me. I don't want to have to deal with it. I don't want the responsibility for it. I don't like the way it makes me feel." I threw it viciously at him.
I could try to justify it by saying I had to be the parent. I had to speak to him about his behaviour. What he was doing was "wrong" and unhealthy. I had to make my point! I had to "make him see" what he was doing.
That, however, was not healthy communication. That was not Love. That, my dear friends, was a form of fear based attack!
Who did I attack? Obviously him. I also attacked myself. By trying to provide for the insatiable needs of my little "me" who sees the bodies of others as separate forms of reality, who assumes attack is everywhere and forms defenses against them, and who believes it has the right and power to control these other sinful bodily beings with "guilt"... I attacked the greater "I" . I attacked the true Self...that which I and my son are inseparable parts of.
When fear is the basis of our communication we attack and reinforce this crazy notion of how separate we are. We do not connect, resolve conflict, heal our wounds or "help" the other person. And we do not help ourselves though that seems to be our motivation at the time...to project the sting of being human outward onto someone else so we do not have to experience it. Hmm!
Our faulty belief system, devised and maintained so expertly by the ego, creates illusions upon which we act. We see our experience as human beings as something that causes pain. We see how deserving of lack, scarcity, guilt and punishment we are and we do whatever we can to diminish or eliminate that pain at ego's guidance. Often that diminishing means we have to project our pain outward onto someone else who we assume is separated from us by body borders. We attack! Or if we find some semblance of pleasure, of "sense", of light in our delusional states we may fear it will be taken from us...so we protect our illusions at all costs. We defend! When we spend all our energy, time and resources on attacking and defending that which really isn't even real...we do not do what we are here to do. Love!
I am not here to determine how my son lives his life. I am not here to fix his problems or anyone else's. My son is not mine. I think of these lovely words from Kahlil Gibran:
Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you. (https://quotefancy.com/quote/848351/Khalil-Gibran-Your-children-are-not-your-children-They-are-the-sons-and-daughters-of-Life)
I am not here to determine and enforce what is right or wrong for other people. I am here to love! That's it. To teach love. To learn Love. To expand Love! What I did down there in his room this morning was not Love. It was merely self-preservation. I was attempting to protect ego.
Your thinking has done this because of its power, but your thinking can also save you from this because your power is not your making. Your ability to direct your thinking as you choose is part of its power.
-ACIM Chapter7: VI:2:5-6
In my awareness of my word choice and my behaviour I found a remarkable thing happening, My tone changed. I calmed down. I took a deep breath to think about how I was going to rephrase what I had to say. Then I said. " I love you and I am worried about you. I am concerned about your choices but this is my worry and my concern. I own it. I am challenged in my ability to cope with this in a healthy way. I am trying but as you can see I am having some difficulty. I can and I will master this but in the meantime I am concerned about what my reaction to your choices is doing to our relationship. I want you to have the healthy happy life you deserve and I feel great frustration, anger and disappointment when I see you making choices I see as unhealthy. I still tend to "react" in ways I don't want to. My frustration and my worry are not good for me, it is not good for you and I don't want to feel this way any longer. This is what I want from you....and this is what I am willing to do if you do that... These are my choices and my limits. If you continue to make the choices that you are making I am afraid I will do the following.....to protect my health, you and our relationship."
Wow! Game changer!
It didn't change him right away. I didn't get what I wanted from him right away! But it changed me! I felt lighter. I felt freer. I felt Love! I see now that he is up, making other healthier choices...his choices...for him.
I have to smile...as I see a little bit of ego slipping away.
All is well.
-ACIM Chapter 7: VI: 2:1
I literally heard myself, less than an hour ago, saying to my son while I literally wagged my finger in his direction. "I can't sit back and watch you do this! You(!!) need to get up and be responsible. You should know better by now: This isn't how adult life works!" I heard myself. I seen myself. I cringed but I just kept going. I felt the limitation, the imprisonment, the pressure, the projection, the blame, the guilt and the guilt shifting. I felt some sick relief from the heaviness of my own guilt. That relief did not last but a second.
I soon felt like a complete failure as I stood over him with my finger out. "What a hypocrite I am! What a terrible parent!!" I thought to myself. I watched with horror as I spouted out my toxic words. I just yesterday felt so compelled to do a video on the three words to avoid. I did exactly what I said not to do. I used all those three words and a lot more. Wow!
I did catch myself...eventually... and I sat myself down on the side of his bed. Of course having full fledged symptoms because of my emotional reaction had something to do with my need to stop. As I sat there I began to see and "feel" clearly. I knew my worry, my fear, my parental guilt and helplessness had just all come out of me in a whirlwind of emotion, like a fire ball of yuckiness I spit out of my mouth and onto him. "You take this stuff!" I was in a sense saying. "I don't want it in me. I don't want to have to deal with it. I don't want the responsibility for it. I don't like the way it makes me feel." I threw it viciously at him.
I could try to justify it by saying I had to be the parent. I had to speak to him about his behaviour. What he was doing was "wrong" and unhealthy. I had to make my point! I had to "make him see" what he was doing.
That, however, was not healthy communication. That was not Love. That, my dear friends, was a form of fear based attack!
Who did I attack? Obviously him. I also attacked myself. By trying to provide for the insatiable needs of my little "me" who sees the bodies of others as separate forms of reality, who assumes attack is everywhere and forms defenses against them, and who believes it has the right and power to control these other sinful bodily beings with "guilt"... I attacked the greater "I" . I attacked the true Self...that which I and my son are inseparable parts of.
When fear is the basis of our communication we attack and reinforce this crazy notion of how separate we are. We do not connect, resolve conflict, heal our wounds or "help" the other person. And we do not help ourselves though that seems to be our motivation at the time...to project the sting of being human outward onto someone else so we do not have to experience it. Hmm!
Our faulty belief system, devised and maintained so expertly by the ego, creates illusions upon which we act. We see our experience as human beings as something that causes pain. We see how deserving of lack, scarcity, guilt and punishment we are and we do whatever we can to diminish or eliminate that pain at ego's guidance. Often that diminishing means we have to project our pain outward onto someone else who we assume is separated from us by body borders. We attack! Or if we find some semblance of pleasure, of "sense", of light in our delusional states we may fear it will be taken from us...so we protect our illusions at all costs. We defend! When we spend all our energy, time and resources on attacking and defending that which really isn't even real...we do not do what we are here to do. Love!
I am not here to determine how my son lives his life. I am not here to fix his problems or anyone else's. My son is not mine. I think of these lovely words from Kahlil Gibran:
Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you. (https://quotefancy.com/quote/848351/Khalil-Gibran-Your-children-are-not-your-children-They-are-the-sons-and-daughters-of-Life)
I am not here to determine and enforce what is right or wrong for other people. I am here to love! That's it. To teach love. To learn Love. To expand Love! What I did down there in his room this morning was not Love. It was merely self-preservation. I was attempting to protect ego.
Your thinking has done this because of its power, but your thinking can also save you from this because your power is not your making. Your ability to direct your thinking as you choose is part of its power.
-ACIM Chapter7: VI:2:5-6
In my awareness of my word choice and my behaviour I found a remarkable thing happening, My tone changed. I calmed down. I took a deep breath to think about how I was going to rephrase what I had to say. Then I said. " I love you and I am worried about you. I am concerned about your choices but this is my worry and my concern. I own it. I am challenged in my ability to cope with this in a healthy way. I am trying but as you can see I am having some difficulty. I can and I will master this but in the meantime I am concerned about what my reaction to your choices is doing to our relationship. I want you to have the healthy happy life you deserve and I feel great frustration, anger and disappointment when I see you making choices I see as unhealthy. I still tend to "react" in ways I don't want to. My frustration and my worry are not good for me, it is not good for you and I don't want to feel this way any longer. This is what I want from you....and this is what I am willing to do if you do that... These are my choices and my limits. If you continue to make the choices that you are making I am afraid I will do the following.....to protect my health, you and our relationship."
Wow! Game changer!
It didn't change him right away. I didn't get what I wanted from him right away! But it changed me! I felt lighter. I felt freer. I felt Love! I see now that he is up, making other healthier choices...his choices...for him.
I have to smile...as I see a little bit of ego slipping away.
All is well.
Thursday, January 18, 2018
Three Powerful Words to Avoid
We need to avoid three powerful words when in the process of changing the way we think. These words are:
- "You!!"
- Can't
- Should
-
Unlisted Videos:
You!!
Can't
Should
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