Wedding Worries

I am never upset for the resons I think I am.

Lesson Five of workbook ACIM

It has been a stressful week, to say the least.  Beautiful in its own right...but stressful. I found myself at my daughter's since the displacement. I realized I could be of service to this lil family prior to the big day, diminishing, if not eliminating, this sense of intruding I was feeling. (( I will slip away after the wedding when things for them have returned to some semblance of 'normal', and the need for extra support is no longer there). It has been busy and I have not felt completely grounded, useful maybe, but not grounded. 

And because of my nature, I pick up the emotions of others. feeling the fear and anxiety, the sensory overload of my grandson ( who is neurodivergent) starting school. I feel my soon to be son-in-law's tension over the cost  and extravegance of this wedding, and his sense of frustration and helplessness in dealing with my daughter's particular nature when it comes to the wedding preparations (It is hard to help when someone is so detail oriented with OCD). And of course, there is the stress of the bride that I absorb...a bride who insisted on doing 90 % of all preparation herself.  She did an amazing job but man that was a lot of work and pressure to take on. And there were a few significant set backs she had to deal with.  Her officiant bailed on her ( without informing her ) a few weeks before the wedding.(Luckily someone else ws found who she much prefers anyway). And she has yet to get the veil she ordered and paid for in full in June. She seemed to be getting one run around after the other for months...and that only increased this week.  Very, very stressful for someoe who "needs" things to be exactly as she sees them in her head. I personally do not trust the person she is dealing with...not one bit...but this close to crunch time what is one to do? It has become an obsession for my daughter, adding to her pre-wedding stress tremendously...and therefore to her mother's. When she is up at night pacing the halls, I am up.  When she is crying, I am crying.  when she is feeling angry and frustrated...so am I. Its crazy how this works...but man, I am drained.

On a positive note: I did not have much time to think of my own crazy situation which seemed to get a bit crazier in the last few days. Maybe I will tell that story after the wedding , or maybe I won't.  It is afterall just a "story". lol.

Regardless, I know we are not upset for the reasons we  think we are.  It has very little to do with what is going on "out there" and everything about what is going on "in here." The outside phenomena are just triggers stirring up some things that are needing to get out.  I whispered that truth to my daughter as I held her in my arms yesterday while she cried over yet again another broken promise about her veil. So much needs to come up and out...and I told her if it did, it wouldn't matter if she had her veil or not.  Not that those words helped...but the getting the stuff up and out with the mini-breakdown probably did. She walked away with a little more peace and a lot less attachment from the outcome of whether or not she gets her veil. Sigh!

Two more days to get to the point where we are watching two beloved people declare their love for each other...when there is no more running around to get things done.  No more worrying about whether or not the veil comes in...by then it is either on her head or it isn't. No more stressing and worrying...a time when we can all breathe and simply enjoy what the day is menat for.  May it be a blessed day of happiness for the couple and all who have come to witness.

(Oh...of course...my job will just be beginning as the MC lol...but that should be more fun than anything...I hope!). 

And after this week when I look at my other children who are planning to get married in the upcoming years, I find myself mouthing a couple of words: "Court" "House". 

All is well.