Relaxing Into Challenge

 

Your calm mind is the ultimate weapon against your challenges. So relax.

Byrant McGill

It seems counterintuitive to relax when your comfort zone is crumbling around you, when the world suddenly seems chaotic, when you have no idea what is waiting for you around the corner or what tomorrow will bring. The amygdala may be screaming "Run!" or at least, "Do something to make this better!". Your nervous system may have handed the reins over to  the Sympathetic director that is firing you up to do anything but relax. Cortisol and Adrenaline may be zipping through your blood vessels faster than the speed of light as the alarm bells clang loudly in your ears.  Your mind may have taken on the role of  a war correspondant or a journalist in a disaster zone...narrating and creating a story sure to draw an audience in. 

But....

It is at these times especially that you will benefit most from relaxing. 

It doesn't matter what external world phenomenon triggered that nervous system reaction...this will be the time when  "Relax!" will  best serve you. 

Say what crazy lady? What if my husband just left me for the babysitter? Or I realize I have just been scammed of all my money?  What if  I or a loved one has just gotten a diagnosis of cancer?You expect me to relax into that?

No, I expect you to do what most humans do...tense up and get ready to fight or struggle against this reality.  What I expect of you is different, however, than what I want for you.  I want you to relax into  challenge. I want you to see that the usual tendency of  resisting is what causes you the suffering, not the unpleasant or painful circumstance or life event you are dealing with. I want you to see that you can relax in the face of all life unfoldings...the good, the bad, and the ugly. And by doing so...you can deal with what Life is giving you in a peaceful, accepting way with a heart that remains open and loving. 

What if the house is on fire, or my comfort zone is literally collapsing around me because of a tornado or earthquake? What if someone is pointing a gun at my head or about to kick me across the room  with some Kung fu move? You expect me to relax into that???

No, I don't expect you to.  I want you to. Relaxing in these situations will serve you best.  By relaxing body and mind you will be able to think clearly. You will be  able to respond in a way that is most effective and that could possibly save your life. Tensing up into panic mode will not serve you. Though we are conditioned to assume that  this is the only way to react in such given situations...we can choose otherwise. We can learn to relax through every challenge by detaching from it. 

This just sounds like a bunch of "woo-woo" talk to me. Not anything real or possible.

Hmm! I am about to be homeless (oops!- "unhoused"), suddenly outside a relationship I have been in for 12 years.  I have no idea what the future will hold for this human I call me.  I don't know where I will stay.  I don't know how I will live. I don't know what I will do.  This is all going down in four days. And though I still slip occassionally into that conditioned pattern of reacting where Fight , Flight, and Freeze are activated, 80 percent of the time, I am as cool as a cucumber. I am relaxing into this challenge, and because I have been practicing "relaxing"  for years, it is happening automatically and naturally.  My heart is still open and loving with all involved.  I feel myself , not swept up in some current fighting to keep my head above water, but gently laying back with my feet up allowing the flow of Life to take me.  I am watching this human I call "me" handling reality and it is like, "Wow! Have I ever come a long way. There was a time I could never have imagined responding in such a way to Life challenge...but man...the practice is paying off.  I am actually calmly accepting the what-isness of this. I am  truly relaxing in the face of challenge."

 It is so cool to see that progress in myself. That doesn't mean I am not doing anything.  I am . I am reaching out to others.  I am seeing what possibilities are out there for shelter, and survival. I am making plans at least for the immediate future. I am "dealing".

I mean ...I still feel sad, and a certain amount of grief.  Packing to leave for the unknown is a little more difficult than packing to go someplace specific. I still feel some resentment creeping in at times, and I allow myself that...but instead of burning a hole in me...the anger and resentment just seems to flow right through. I still slip into fear and worry  but then I cue myself to relax into that. I am not suppressing that fear I am simply relaxing in the face of it. 

So, yeah, we can relax into challenge. We really can, and it is so important to start the practice of doing so now.

All is well in my life.