From 2000 to 2: Accepting the "Isness" of It All.

 

It is what it is.  It will be what it will be.

More and more I see the ebb and flow of Life without getting attached to any crest or any trough. I watch with a certain equanimity. I participate with a certain level of detachment. I get puffed up less and less, I get sucked down less and less. I do not grasp or cling.  I push away so little. If there is any action taken by this body and mind...it is not reaction.  I am just there bobbing up and down on the surface of impermanence, allowing it all to be what it is. Hmm! This is a totally different living experience than the way I approached Life, say, twenty years ago.  It took a great deal of practice and searching to get to this point but alas here I am. 

Let's look at the so called readership on this blog, for example. For the last month my readership appeared to be way up. Last week I was getting over 2000 readers (or hits, or whatever they are) on some  days. They were  being picked up by Google analytics and seemed quite legit. For a brief second, I felt a quickening in my gut, "Maybe, this ...whatever this is that I am doing here is receiving the assistance of the universe now...maybe it is reaching others, possibly even helping others...maybe, I am being shown that it is a worthwhile task." I even felt just a flush of ego, "Yeah I am doing a good thing here." Then out of nowhere it was like a wind came in and blew all that away and replaced it with, "It is what it is.  It will be what it will be." It didn't seem to matter anymore.

Then when I came to the site today.  I see there has been 2 readers or whatever in the last 24 and,  though I felt a momentary sinking of the remaining ego as the question arose, "What am I doing wrong?"...it passed as quickly as it came. I now feel the same as I felt when there were 2000 readers...possibly even a little more comfortable and relieved ( I was never much for crowds lol). 

"It is what it is. It will be what it will be."

Very grateful for all readers who take the time to read what I have written...or, should I say?... what came through this human body and mind I call "me". Very grateful...be you 2000 or 2...thank you. 

I am not sure what I am doing or not doing that causes readers to leave as quickly as they come in.  I am not sure if anyone will ever like what I write here.  I am not sure it even matters. Man, I do not even understand the purpose or process of this blog lol...how can I expect to understand the outcome? I just feel the pull to come here everyday to do exactly what I do. I feel I am satisfying my part of the bargain when I do.  The rest is not up to me. 

Anyway...just bobbing along here. Maybe you will catch a glimpse of what I leave behind or maybe you won't.  It is all good. 

It is what it is.  It will be what it will be. 

All is well