Creative Pull or Ego Motivation?

 Desire implies some form of lack; creation comes from wanting to give from the fullness you sense within you.

Eckhart Tolle

I am always questioning why I do what I do.  I ask if I am being motivated by ego or motivated by the deeper part of this human I call "me". I know with poetry...it is just a matter of the poem wanting to be written.  It has so little to do with "me".  There are other writing adventures that are less obvious in their motivation.

When I wrote the little book I wrote last year ( all the books I wrote last year), I felt pulled by something other than ego.  Like it is when I come here, I had this stuff in me (that I was learning) that I wanted to share. Sure...redeemer ego was sitting around encouraging me to go on with, "Well maybe if you write that you will prove to others that you now know what you are talking about.  It is so important that people know that you are knowleagble. You can't let Shamer win here." Shamer ego, was also repetitively saying, "Who the heck are you to write this book?  Despite your years studying, you do not have enough initials behind your name. " I will often look over at Redeemer and Shamer ego and say, "Will you guys shut the Fork up?" (Of course, I am not actually seeing or talking to a visible seperate entities  lol...this is all self-talk).  

Though ego was still a noisy presence in the background, I truly wanted to give, however, from the fullness within me. This carried on to me wanting to create tutorials related to the book to assist others who couldn't access or afford the book. So I  work on these tutorials and it is a very creative process that brings me joy. There will be times, however,  where the work will suddenly disappear before I have a chance to get it up. ( a lot of work)...and I am like "Okay...I will just start over".  At those times, I see how I am not attached to the outcome as ego would be.  I am enjoying the process. I am giving for the sake of giving.  Even ego cannot be upset with that. Can it?

Sigh!

Desire of the ego is disquised desire for God.

All is well!

Eckhart Tolle ( March, 2025) The Impulse to Create: Eckhart Tolle on Discovering Your Creative Potential. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQsKeyKBheY&t=385s