This Too Shall Pass

 This too shall pass....

Rumi

This ebb and flow of events and people in my experience is so interesting to watch. It is even more interesting to watch this that "I am" watch this human I call "me" watching it.  I watch  the ebb and flow of emotion that takes place within me and that is expressed around me. I watch it come in, sometimes like a tidal wave, and I watch as it is pulled back.  I watch the waves of pain and sorrow, of gain and loss; of sunlight and rain; of light and darkness; of ease and difficulty....just this constant ebb and flow.  Things come into my experience, my moment. Things leave my experience, and another moment arises. Nothing lasts.  

I realize when I feel the light on my face and the warmth in my heart; when I feel that I have won the favor of others; that I have succeeded at something...that, "This too shall pass," and I enjoy it while I can without clinging to it.  When I notice that I have failed or have been criticized or rejected or have fallen into moments of languishing so intense I fear like I might drown in it...I know that the experience and the nature of the moment will change into something else soon enough.  "This too shall pass." ...And I just allow it, observe it, look deeply into the "felt experience" without relying on any attachment to a  story. 

I hear my body and mind reacting sometimes and I simply observe that reaction, that resistance without judgement or attachment, knowing that it is all just phenomena...a ripple or a wave in the spaciousness of what is...and it too will just change. 

It is so bizarre the way I am experiencing Life now.  It isn't always pleasant or peaceful but I am so aware of Something in me that remains peaceful and undisturbed as Life ebbs into my consciousness, and flows out of my consciousness. I am detached , I guess, without being indifferent. I am still connected by some invisible tether but in an unusual way. I am no longer being strangled by these tethers.

It is like I am reaching out to touch Life as if it were a colorful flower I suddenly notice. Instead of grasping it and clinging to it, I now gently place my fingers on its petals as I reverently drop my head down to smell its fragrance...being careful all the time not to disturb anything, not to get in the way of the other beings who depend on this flower. Hmm! 

Its weird and I feel weird at this stage of waking up. I am sure others think I am acting strangely and I really don't care. I have no desire to please their egos anymore with my own masquerading self. I feel layers of "me" being pulled off that which I am. It is not a pleasant debridement lol but a healing one. I am changing.  I don't understand what is happening to me and at the same time I don't feel like I have to understand.  I just have to flow with it.  Hmm!

Anyway, all is well.