Not here to fix the world. You are here to bring down something beautiful to the moment in front of you.
Michael A. Singer ( not exact, exact words maybe...but close :))
I had to remind myself of that a lot this morning. I am a day behind in my listening practice. Every morning I try to listen and read wise words from people who are awakening and who have awakened. Why? Because I want to awaken.
I have been pulled away from the height of this practice over the last few days because I am dealing with the projected suffering of another. To be honest, I feel a certain degree of resistance to this suffering that is more or less thrown in my direction. I have empathy and compassion but it is loaded down with my reluctance and resistance...I find myself physically feeling it in my gut and closing off. I am also aware of myself feeling a certain resistance to my resistance: "You are supposed to be waking up and accepting and embracing Life as it is. This is Life. Deal with it!" The twisiting in my gut gets worse as I hear that.
Then I hear this other little voice within me saying, "I don't want to deal with this right now. I really don't. Maybe after my practice I will have more of that peace and light to share with this individual. Maybe I will be more open." I am reminded of the above quote from the podcast this morning and this, (again somewhat paraphrased):
The only ones that are the part of the solution are the ones that can sit at the table and say, "That is not what I would do but I can understand why you think and feel that way."
I resist some more telling myself I need my sadhana to evolve to the point I can handle things like this better. Then another little voice counters..."But this is part of your practice. This will help you to wake up too."
Man, back and forth, I as this "troubled human," go. I just got called away again and I tried to remind myself and the other of these quotes but it did not go over very well. I was not validating enough which I see, and I could be right off the mark, in this person's eyes is equivalent to allowing myself to be pulled down into their very low, negative and toxic perceptions and emotions so I understand where they are at. I don't allow myself to go there. I know this person is there and it breaks my heart but I do not want this consciousness that is pouring through me and that can be so healing pulled down, and eventually lost in that very narrow focus. I know it would not be beneficial to either of us. I see that this person is trapped in the mind...it is a curse for her. I am hoping to free the mind. I want it to be a liberator not a trap.
Man ..all this shows me that I am far from fully awakened...I am just in the early stages of waking up where I am still yawning and stretching. Hmm!
Ironically, I was intending to write about the difference between a fully awakened individual and one that is still waking up when I sat down here this morning and before I even listened to Singer's podcast. There is a big difference right? I don't look at Michael A. Singer and Eckhart Tolle, for example, as fully enlightened masters or rishis...I look at them as humans evolving beyond their humanness...learning so much about consciosuness as they do...knowing it is there...but not completely pulled into it...not completely merged with it in the way say, Ramana Maharshi, Rama Krishna, Meher Baba, Mahavatar Babaji (Yogananda's guru's guru's guru) was etc. (The way, of course, Christ and the Buddha were). Mind you they are much more awake than I am and that is why I, like a flower pulled by the heliotrophic effect to the sun, lean in their direction. But do I think they have reached what those who have spent years in a cave without any distarctions have ? No. One is likely still sipping the last of their coffee or crunching the last piece of their toast. The other might already have the dishes in the dishwasher and heading off to work...but they are still not fully awake. Very few humans reach that state. I don't have any unrealistic notions about reaching that state in this life time but still I try to wake up more and more each day. Why?
If your consciousness is not distracted by your personal thoughts and emotions...what happens to it? It is not pulled down. A depressed person is pulled down into low negative stuff...a positive person is pulled down into positive stuff ( still pulled down because they are identified with emotions and thoughts ...distracted by it). An enlightened being is not pulled down, not distarcted. Singer ( again somewhat paraphrased...I was very distracted during the listening and the writing and couldn't get every exact word down.).
I am so sick of being pulled down. Are you? Imagine being able to stay up there in that higher energy, the Sat Chit Ananda, like the fully enlightened ones did and do? Hmm! Imagine bringing that to the table and into every problem others are having? Wow! Game changer.
Anyway, I did not help this person today with any peace I might have been oozing. I did not help my practice, and I did not help myself get a little farther away from the thing in the way of a liberated mind...me. Hmm! But I did observe and expereince it all as the conscious awareness. That has to stand for something, doesn't it?
All is well.
Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( March 10, 2024) Mind can be a blessing or a curse. https://tou.org/talks/
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