Inward Significance

 

The aim of art is to represent not the outer appearance of things, but their inward significance.

Aristotle

The Imperfections of My Outer Self

I  get so  surprised when I go back to see what was read recently and see glaring typos or spelling/grammatical errors. I still see the improper use of ascribe/prescribe,subscribe; effect/affect; and then/than(even though I know so well which one belongs where). I see, on occassion, poor sentence structure. I see my pet peave...the result of a lazy finger when I am typing fast: "teh" for "the", "taht" for "that", "becasue" for "because".  As well, as many, many more typos and errors. 

These imperfections are like little stains on the clothing or something in the teeth  of a person standing up to speak. No matter how great the message is, one cannot help but stare at the imperfection, to the point they are distracted from hearing the message. They walk away from the lecture not thinking about the soul changing question, "Wow! Who am I? What is Life all about and am I living it the way I am meant to?" but with questions like, "Did she know she had that big ketchup stain on her shirt? Is she just a sloppy person who doesn't care?  I wonder what she would do, if she knew she had some brocoli in her teeth and we could see it every time she opened her mouth. Would she be as embarrassed as I am for her? " 

People seem to get stuck there, don't they?  I know I often do.  If I am reading a book from someone with a great message and it it is poorly written...I am out of there! The person with the message looses all credibility for me. I don't hear the message. 

Attracting the Hyperactive Ego? 

Ego has its preferences.  Ego is attracted to certain things and distracted by others. It is like a fussy kid with ADHD.  In order to break through to truth, we need to break through the ego but to do that we need to keep that ego listening long enough for truth to dissect it.  We need to attract it, and avoid distractions ...knowing how easily it is distracted. We need to be able to lead it to truth and then hold it still long enough so what is inside and behind it can shine through. So sometimes, we do need to offer it the guise of what it prefers...to dangle a carrot in front of its nose.  The carrot needs to be appealing...

Is this "me" appealling enough? I seldom think about how appealling I am to others these days.  I seldom even look at myself in the mirror ( and not for self rejecting reasons.) How I appear is the last thing on my mind. I suppose that shows.  I just do not see the importance of it...my appearance ranks so low on my priority list. Yet, (I guess you could say...)  I have a message I want to share...an important message that I strongly believe  should speak for itself....a message that has nothing to do with "me", other than possibly come through me. Yet, if I am the one delivering it...should I polish up my own ego a bit, create an outer image free of typos and distractions so other egos are drawn to me as the speaker and at the same time not distracted by me as the speaker? So I can hold them just long enough so the message does its thing of penetrating through egos to hearts, minds and souls?  

I don't know.  I am just not in that  realm of outer concern anymore.  I am really not.  I have been moving away from that concern for decades now...I even have had people tell me years ago, "You are  certainly no Diva and  more of a "wreck" than anything". I felt a sting then, though it was not the intention of these individuals,  of being shamed by that comment.  But now I see just how unimportant my appearance was and  is to me. 

The thought of putting effort into creating a more appealling outer "me" is draining.  Why would I put my energy there? I would rather go inward and do the work there. Does that make me a yogi or some one with self-deprecating depression? Psychology would wonder if I was the latter. They are not all wrong.  I am to some degree "self"-deprecating.  I no longer see the "self" as something I need to pamper and fluff up, to preen and embellish.  I actually see it as being in the way of me going deeper. 

Outwardly appealling or not in all my human imperfections, I am seeking inward significance!

All is well.