Christmas is not a time or a season, but a state of mind.
Calvin Coolidge
Christmas is a happy, joyful time, right? Or at least it is "supposed to be" . That "supposed to be" puts an awful lot of heavy pressure on people who are not happy at Christmas, making them even unhappier. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, 52% of Canadians report an increase in anxiety, depression, and isolation during the holiday season. That is over half the population.
Why are you telling us that? Where is your Christmas spirit, crazy lady? What a way to Grinch us all out.
It is not my intention to "Grinch" anyone out. Nor is it my intention to feed this social and cultural expectation that adds so much heaviness to so many, anymore than it has already been fed.
The problem isn't Christmas. It is just a day or a season, right? How can 'one day', one holiday season, be a problem? Besides, there is so much to love about Christmas. I love how people seem more giving and more friendly, more forgiving of transgressions and imperfections. I love the decorations that give off an essence of earthy coziness. I love the warm feeling I get when I see lights reflecting off the snow. I love getting together with people I may not get together with otherwise. I love the warm flood of childhood memories that arise when I hear a Christmas tune. I love having my family around the kitchen table as I dish out the traditional feast. I love the excitement in the eyes of my grandchildren and other children. I love the talk and intention of "peace" the season makes so obvious.
Yet, I also question why we put so much hype...so much emphasis on one day. Any day to honor the wise teacher Christ and to remember His teachings about peace and love is worthwhile, but should it just be one day that we truly adhere to these teachings? Besides, December 25th was not the actual day Christ was born. It was the church that decided to mark this day on the calendar...more as a way of interfering with the pagan festival of winter solstice than anything else. Yet, collective preferring, desiring, and wanting over the centuries built this day up into an expectation no one can really keep up with.
We, as a cultural collective made it into something it isn't. Now we are chasing the dream with our overindulging, over consuming, overspending, over expecting...looking for something in Christmas that is already in us...hidden beneath our false ideas of who we think we are and what we assume the world out there is supposed to do for us. What we do to "celebrate Christ on His birthday" really isn't very holy, is it? Or very healthy?
The problem isn't Christmas. The problem is how we are dealing with it. More specifically, the problem is how we are dealing with Life as evident through our expectations of Christmas. We are placing so much hope and expectation on something "out there" to make us feel peace, happy, love, joy, bliss in side, for at least one day ( or a few days).
And to a person who feels they just can't keep up with society's expectations of success and happiness for whatever reason on any other day of the year, the expectation of Christmas can be very, very heavy. "If I can't feel good at Christmas than there is something very, very wrong with me. Why am I even here?" Sadly, I have heard that too many times.
Christmas is not the problem creating unhappiness for the individual and Christmas cannot be the solution for the collective either . Christmas cannot "make us less happy" nor can it put happiness into a busy, confused world. Whatever we hope to get from Christmas is already inside us. It is an internal and an eternal season. If we want to truly get what the founder of this day taught, we need to take our gaze away from the shopping malls, the Christmas trees , the let- me- feel -better- about -myself- by giving- at -Christmas mentality ...to where this "peace that passes all understanding" resides...inside us!
For the one chasing the dream of Christmas magic, I say, "Stop! Be still, for at least a few minutes a day, and look inside. What you are looking for isn't out there. It is in you already. When you put away your expectation of Christmas, of the world, of the self for Self's, you may just find the peace that is already in you. And it won't cost you a thing; it won't drain you of energy; and it won't make you all stressed out trying to keep up with it. It will fill you up and it will set you free."
To the person living in fear and depression and loneliness, seeing Christmas as adding to their suffering, I say, "Stop! Be still for at least a few minutes a day, and look inside. What you are running from and wanting to avoid is not out there. It is in you but it doesn't have to be. When you put away your expectations of Christmas, of the world, of self for Self's, you may just find the peace that is already in you. And it won't cost you a thing. drain you of energy, or make you more depressed trying to keep up with it. It will fill you up and it will set you free."
All is well in my world.
Note: For all those experiencing an increase in anxiety, depression and isolation over the holidays please know there is help. Please reach out to someone, anyone, and let them know you need help! I care about you and I want you to be well.
- Warm lines: https://www.wellnesstogether.ca/en-ca/resource/peer-support-warmline
- Peer to peer Community for youth: https://www.wellnesstogether.ca/en-ca/resource/peer-to-peer-community
- Suicide Hotline: Talk Suicide at 1-833-456-4566 toll free in Canada (1-866-277-3553 in Quebec) or dial 911.
- Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or dial 911 in case of emergency (US)
No comments:
Post a Comment