When a man does not receive presents, he does not become beholden to others, but remains independent and free. His mind becomes pure.
Vivekananda
I am thinking of one of the yamic guidances...rules and regulations for those wanting to be yogis. A yogi, of course, is just someone who wants to be free of all samskaras and samsaras and who is willing to do the work. According to the first limb of Patanjali's Eight limbed Raja yoga (Yama), a yogi is not to accept gifts.
Say what crazy lady? If I want to be free and happy, I cannot accept gifts...not even at Christmas time? What do I tell my kid who hands me a beautifully wrapped present on Christmas day that they put so much thought and effort into getting for me, "Thanks but no thanks, I am trying to cut back?" They are not offering me a cigarette, for God sake, they are doing something from their heart!
Hmm! I know I am having a hard time with that. Christmas is a hard time for wanna be yogis for many reasons...but this one little yamic rule is especially challenging this time of the year. I have yet to adhere to it and I don't know if I can.
Like most mothers do, I go around for months before Christmas telling my children ( and others) not to waste their money buying me a present. I don't need anything. Please, donate it elsewhere where it is needed. Then I go out and buy all of them something... I do this for me, not them. I not only feel better about giving, I still have this conditioned need inside me to satisfy that expectation Christmas arouses in me. They know that I will buy for them, and they feel obligated to buy or make something for me. ( I do cherish the home made gifts...like photo albums, paintings, crafts etc. or when they donate the money elsewhere, on my behalf! But a gift is a gift), I feel obligated to accept each gift graciously.
Man, Christmas would be so much easier if gifting wasn't a part of it, wouldn't it be? It would be easier for the yogi and it would be easier for the non-yogi. So much stress would be eliminated. What if we took every bit of money we were spending on each other and donated it to those beings who really needed it...we could do it on each other's behalf if that made us feel better. Better still, do it anonymously without anyone ever knowing where it came from and from whom. So, we were not caught up in the giver gratifications so many us are striving for.
What about the kids, crazy lady?
I think we can wean down there, can't we? One gift per child from an unseen giver who gives unconditionally until this tradition weans itself out? What are we teaching our kids with this giver/ receiver mentality in this very materialistic world? A true gift is not material, is it? What about teaching them about service and kindness and giving love this time of year ( and all year)? Wouldn't that be more beneficial to them and to the world in the long run?
If we want to decondition the world from this habit, we need to begin with ourselves. I need to begin with me. I need to say outright, "I am not giving or receiving gifts this year, but I will give you my time, my energy, and my love today and throughout the year." I don't know how to wrap that but that is what I hope to do.
This year?
No, not this year. I did not follow through from my announcement last year. Sigh! I will try better next year. I will make the "Absolutely No Presents Next Year " announcement again...and hopefully we will all follow through.
I guess, I wont be getting any yogi badges from Santa in my stocking.
It is challenging to decondition ourselves from these cultural tendencies, isn't it? Even if we know in our heart how better we would all be if we did.
All is well.
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