Solving the Problem of the Personality

 Psychology attempts to solve  the problems with the personality while spirituality tends to solve the problem of the personality.

"me"

These words came to me when I was meditating this morning.  

Say What? You were thinking while you were mediating crazy lady?  I thought meditating was all about stopping the mind from thinking?

Yes, I was thinking while I was meditating. I have been thinking probably a little more than usual during my meditation practices lately.  My dharana practice (concentration on something other than thought) might be a little off but I am still meditating.  The fact that I notice these thoughts emerge is an indication I am meditating. I have learned not to resist them and I have learned to reduce the amount of time I follow them off into a tangent...or if I do follow them off...I have learned to simply bring myself back again, and again, and again.  I also notice that there is Something in me that is noticing these thoughts when I ask "Who is thinking this?" This is the deeper form of  dhyana practice...consciousness concentrating on consciousness....awareness aware of awareness.

So, yes, I was thinking during meditation and no, meditation  isn't about stopping the mind from thinking. We cannot stop the mind from doing what it does.  Mind thinks. Meditation is about becoming aware that there is Something beyond the thinking and to remove our attention away from distracting  thoughts...the object of consciousness...and to put it back on that which is thinking. It is about removing the light from the object it is shining on and realizing that we are the light that is doing the shining. As Michael Singer reminds us in the below podcast...mind is not really the problem, what we do with it is.

What has that got to do with the above quote, crazy lady?

Well, as I have said I am on a mission to better understand and explain how we need to dismantle the personality in order to go home to who we really are.  The personality is very much linked to the personal mind. So many of us are distracted by the pull of this mind's drama...its thoughts and feelings, its stories and past history, what it has stored and stuffed that keeps getting triggered by "stimulus situations" ( life events)...that we tend not to see anything else.  We are so focused on these objects of consciousness that we forget we are the consciousness that is staring at them. We believe we are the personal mind or personality. This is a collective belief.  So much so we have come up with large fields of study that  are designed to help this personality or personal mind to thrive.  Psychology attempts to find ways to solve the personality's problems.  

Spirituality, on the other hand, doesn't invest in the problems of the personality. It  sees the personal mind or personality as the problem.  It knows the only true freedom path that will bring us to sat chit ananda...our home state of consciousness ( eternal conscious bliss) is obtained by dismantling the personality.

Dismantling the personality?

Let me rephrase that.  When I say "dismantle the personality" I should be stressing that this simply involves removing our conscious attachment from the personality.  The personality itself is harmless to who we really are.  Yet, it creates a filter -veil over our realization of who we really are-awareness itself. The more we are focusing on the drama of personal mind, personality, little me...the less likely we are to realize the Self that is actually the light that is doing the shining on this little me. We are using the amazing power of awareness and contracting and  narrowing its power  to shine down on this puny little entity we call "me" with all its never ending dramas, bringing our life energy down with it. We are not the thought object we are aware of ("me"and its preferences). We are the awareness that is aware of me, personal mind, or personality. We need to simply remove our focus from personality, then,  back to that which is doing the shining. We need to detach from that which we are staring at and fall back into the Seat of consciousness.  Meditation is one thing that can help us do that. Anything that helps us do that, however,  is a  tool of spirituality. 

Michael A. Singer assures us that we are capable of not being addicted to the thoughts of our mind.

A committed spiritual practice...whatever works for you that helps to draw your attention away from personality's needs, desires and aversions and back onto the essence of who you really are...will help you to recover from this addiction. 

Namaste.

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( December 31, 2023) The power of Undistracted Consciousness. https://tou.org/talks/

Disidentifying with the Personality

 Personality is a collection of response tendencies that are tied to various stimulus situations and may vary in strength depending on past conditioning.

B.F. Skinner

All is well!

Be the Nobody Beneath the Busy Personality

 A "life of my own" doesn't exist.  There is only Life.

Eckhart Tolle

I am on another kick to explain the need to dismantle the personality, to remove the filter-veil we created over who we truly are. I am determined to explain to myself and others why we need to do that.  We need to dismantle the personality, the ego, this false sense of who we think we are in order to get back home to who we really are. We need to embrace this reality, "I am a nobody."

"A nobody"? That's pretty harsh crazy lady? "

Being a "nobody" is not a diminishment.  It is that which will set us free.

The Intended Cycle of the Only Life

In the video below, Eckhart Tolle, explains how we...as the One Consciousness... are on a cyclical journey.  We come into these incarnations, this world of form, from a formless, timeless, Source/Consciousness.  One Source/Consciousness manifested in many bodies and minds. The Source wants to experience this world of form through these bodies and minds.  The intention, maybe,  is to experience form for a bit before returning home to Source.  So its like we come from a formless, timeless state, enter a form to experience a world of form and time for abit, and then are to return home to Source after we experienced it.  

Getting Lost in the Filter-Veil of Personality

In order to truly experience this world of form, Tolle reminds us, Consciousness must become completely identified in it.  It must get lost in the dream this world provides. It, therefore, many times becomes so distracted by what is playing out in front of It and through It, It forgets what It is. It starts to believe it is a seperate little  needy identity and builds on this idea of me by storing impressions and past memory (conditioning), creating a way to react or respond to life events in the world of form that trigger this stored stuff so it isn't uncomfortable, creating preferences ( desires and aversions) and ultimately building a thick filter-veil through which the experiences of the world of form must pass.  Things get stuck in that filter veil.  They don't pass through as ultimately intended. We get distracted by these things and get more and more lost in this world of form as the filter-veil/the personality/ the ego/ this idea of me gets thicker and thicker and we get farther and farther away from our return home. We become trapped by our personalities in a Life we were just meant to experience as part of the multi manifestation. 

Consciousness becomes the "me" and the "we" of our personal minds as we struggle through our own little lives. We rely heavily on thought, ideas, concepts, story and history to get a sense of who we are in this entrapped state. Life becomes a struggle for the "one" because we have forgotten we are actually manifestations of the "One".  There is no "my own life". There is only Life. There is no "me" or "we", there is only the One Consciousness. The personality, this idea of "me", then, is only in the way of us experiencing who we really are.  It is blocking our return home.

You are more truly yourself when you do not remember your past than you are when you do remember your past. ...You get a stronger sense of yourself in your essence when you are not telling yourself who you are. ...You are never more truly yourself than when you are still. 

Eckhart Tolle

When I say the personality has to go so we can return home, I am not really talking about beating up the personal mind and exiling it.  I am talking more about removing our obsessive focus on it, its story and its busy doing etc. Dismantling the personality simply means looking up and away from that which we were so glued to and to realize it isn't who we are. We need to disidentify from it and its story, so we remember who we are.

Being in the World, but Not of It.

As Tolle asks in the below video...Can we be simultaneously in the return journey to the Source of all life...and still be active in this world? 

Jesus taught,  we need to be in the world but not of it. Yes, we need to experience the physical world, enjoy its pleasures, enjoy its struggles...experience all of it...but at the same time we cannot get lost in its dramas,  forgetting where we come from.  We are of Source...and to Source we will return.  Our goal, once we plant our feet on earth's soil, is to  begin the return trip home while we experience what this world has to offer. 

We need to recognize the personality within us, observe it, examine it, notice how it operates and how and why it reacts or responds to certain life events etc. We need to be aware of its presence in our lives but not to identify with it or its stories. We can still have a personality, but we need to constantly remind ourselves that this personality is not who we are, that we are "more than this". We need to do whatever we can to operate from the higher self not the personality, constantly seeking peace and stillness over what this world can give us.The more aware we are of both our "human" dimension and our "being" dimension the more harmony we can create in this experience we erroneously call "my life". 

Being a nobody is simply being who we are.

All is well.

I copied this on to my Medium page

A “life of my own” doesn’t exist. There is only Life. | by Nancy Daley; Waking Up with Mindful Serenity Yoga | Jan, 2024 | Medium

Eckhart Tolle ( December, 2023) New Year, New Goals: Eckhart tolle on Transforming Desire into Fulfillment. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rGipsgBfQY

Feeling the Shakti Flow No Matter What

If you wake up in the morning with the Shakti flowing, it doesn't matter what happens for the rest of the day.

Michael A. Singer

Imagine just feeling good no matter what is happening around you, through you, or to you. Imagine feeling love for the person in front of you even when they are spitting in your face as they call you down to the lowest.  Imagine feeling peace even when people are screaming, yelling, running  in circles  as the earth beneath you rumbles and shakes.  Imagine feeling a sense of happiness even when you are told by the bank they are foreclosing on your mortgage.  Imagine feeling joy even though the doctor in front of you is telling you that you have a terminal disease. Imagine feeling gratitude even when the thing or person you worshipped is leaving or being taken away. Imagine feeling good no matter what.

Joy is Our Birthright. 

Most of us don't know this, or even believe it when ancient teachings tell us it is true, but  this "feeling good no matter what" is more than possible.  It is our birthright! There is a "River of joy" ( Yogananda) constantly flowing within us, with the potential to pull and keep us "up".

Then why are so many of us down all the time, crazy lady? Why don't we see or experience this flow? It can't be real?

Oh, it is real.  We catch glimpses of it spontaneously when we catch a beautiful sunset; when we see a baby's face for the first time; or when someone we love tells us they love us etc.  When we come in contact with some very pleasant outer world experience, we feel it. We are tapping into the flow as we open to it and it  leaks out into our conscious awareness a tiny bit.  We notice its reality then.  

Of course, we don't know what it is we are noticing or where it comes from.  We tend to erroneously assume it was the sunset, the baby's face, the "I love you"or anything "out there" that was the source of the flow.  But the flow is and always was inside us.  It is who we  are.   We just do not feel and experience this flow when we are too busy looking elsewhere. We are, for most of our lives, looking elsewhere.

Our attention, our most magnificent awareness, is focusing down through a veil -filter we created.This veil that we see through is the psyche, the "little me" with all its compelling drama. Our attention is pulled downward when we follow the psyche's pull.  The "little me's" drama is dark, often negative and so, so distracting. When we are focusing on it, we do not see the magnificent river flowing behind this veil. We grasp, cling, and push away 'out there' what we assume this "little me" needs to feel good, only adding samskaras ( stored and stuffed emotionally charged memories) to the thickness of the veil that lies over the the experience of this flow, blocking it from our conscious experience.  We get farther and farther away from it. 

At the Beach, Focusing On Rocks

Singer, in the below podcast, uses an analogy. Imagine we are all very thirsty beings who are conditioned to believe the water supply is very limited and something we have to work very hard to get.  We are conditioned to believe that we need to go down to this beach everyday and suck whatever moisture we can get off of the rocks that are strewn haphazardly along the shoreline. As we kneel down before these rocks, grasping and clinging to every drop of moisture, pushing away anything we assume may dry it up, we have our backs to something.  We are so busy putting all our attention on this task, we do not notice what is behind us...a beautiful full, continuously flowing  river. We are so busy trying to grasp and cling for every tiny droplet of joy the outside world may provide, pushing away anything that will strip us of these morsels of joy, we do not notice that there is already a river of abundant joy flowing within us.  This river flow  is Shakti.

Shakti?

Everything is energy right? We went over that so many times.  It isn't woo-woo...it is pure science, that everything is energy.  Emotions are energy. Joy is energy. Shakti is a powerful field of energy that is always moving upward inside us.  Shakti is meant to pull and keep us up. We are naturally meant to be "up". Yet, because all our attention is going towards grasping and clinging for morsels of joy from rocks ( from the outside world) our attention is downward, away from the upward flow, away from the experience of Shakti.  That doesn't mean the river isn't there.  It just means we are not noticing it because we are so distracted by little me's dramatic, often unsuccessful,  quest to get droplets of joy from something that cannot maintain joy...we are not experiencing the joy that is already in us. That is, until we have these tiny opening up experiences where the veil filter thins enough for the Shakti to flow through.  

So what do we do to experience this flow all the time, crazy lady?

First of all, be aware of what you are doing, that you are looking down and away from your potential.  Realize  that you cannot get enough water from these rocks ( from your outer world quests)  to sustain you. Realize  how this pulls you down. Then ask: Do I want to keep doing this or do I want more?

Secondly, realize that there is something greater behind this conditioned reactivity by which you were taught to live your life. What you were doing before was not working in keeping you happy, was it? Choose to look up and fall back.

Look up and fall back? 

Look up and away from the negative drama you are constantly being pulled into. 

Your energy flows where your attention goes. 

To look up and away try:

Positive thinking and a making a commitment to try: Counter negative thoughts with positive ones.  Counter,"This is my life.  Nothing will ever get better." with, "Yes this is my life and I want it to be better. I am willing to do whatever I need to do to make it better." 

Use mantras or other practices that distract you from the compulsion to focus on the rocks. Find a mantra that works for you.  Singer suggests using , "I can handle this" when things get tough.  

I suggest  moving the body...go for a walk using Thich Nhat Hanh's walking meditation mantra, "I have arrived, I am home, in the here and the now.  I am solid; I am free. In the ultimate, I dwell." Or do a set of sun salutations.  Then when the body is discharged a bit you can practice focusing on something neutral or more pleasant.  You can meditate on breath for example or do a visualization picturing a baby you love or even a pet in all their innocence and goodness. . 

Just do what you can to pull yourself from that negative focus. 

Then, most importantly, relax and release. When you feel yourself being pulled into the dramas of little me, into reactivity, observe it happening.  As soon as you are aware you are being pulled into it...relax.  All reactivity is, is resistance...resisting the reality of what is.  Relaxation is the opposite of resistance.  It is a form of sweet acceptance and surrender that says I am not pulling on this tug of war rope anymore...I am releasing and letting go. I am allowing life to be life. I am allowing whatever is in me that blocks the awareness of my Shakti flow to come up and out. I am letting go of "me". 

Then as you continue to practice relaxing and releasing...step back and away from that which you were feeling pulled to react to...to the disturbance...to that struggle of getting water from rocks...until you feel the cool refreshing water of the river that was always behind this psyche on your ankles.  Keep stepping back and away, relaxing and releasing, until you are immersed in this river of joy...bobbing up and down in it....until you are home.

Imagine waking up each morning with the Shakti flowing!

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/Temple of the Universe (December 28, 2923) Learning to Open to Your Natural Energy Flow.https://tou.org/talks/

Be Still: The Cycle of Surrender

 To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.

Lao Tzu

The Cycle of Surrender

Hmm! We know we need to surrender to the universe, right?  Allow reality to be reality?  In order to do that we need to master the mind. This mastering of the mind doesn't mean stopping the mind. It only means being able to look away from the noisy mess and drama it creates, that gets in the way of us perceiving and dealing with the universe as it is. We need to create distance between the busy mind and who we are.  We need to fall back away from the noise and into the quiet stillness. Stillness is everything.  It is who we are. We need to be still!  From stillness, it will appear as if the whole universe is surrendering to us, when in reality it was we who are  surrendering to it. 

All is well

Staying Present When the Other Person Isn't

 

One present person can make a difference in the entire energy field of a group...

Eckhart Tolle

I have to remind myself of that again and again and again, knowing that the opposite is also true.  One very unconscious person can draw everyone around into a very negative energy pull. 

I have been struggling over the holidays to keep my presence.  I have been feeling very scattered and pulled into the unconsciousness of others.  ( Please note: I am aware that ego wants to slip in through the back door and make me appear spiritually superior in my pointing out the unconsciousness of others...but I am  also so aware of the fact that my being pulled indicates a lack of stable consciousness in myself. I am no better than anyone else.)

There has been so much unconscious negativity surrounding me.  That negativity gets expressed outwardly and through behaviours.  Nothing was directed at me other than in constant expressions of unhappiness and hopelessness, self deprecation, guilt and shame. ...  but I see and viscerally feel the heavy pull down ward. I  have, it seems, no choice but to observe the choices in behaviour that are too much for me to even address.  

Yet, others insist on coming to me  to tell me of their choices: " I have to do this...even though it is the worse thing I can do because I have no other choice.  Unless you have other options for me?"  I give them options, wholesome, healthy options, but am told that they are not desirable options or good enough. I refer them again and again to other networks of support...offer to take them here and there, to be there when they call but am told that, because of past experiences which were not positive ( I see that) that they cannot or will not get the help they need.  So an attempt is made to place at least some of the responsibility on me again for the unwholesome  choices that are about to be made because I did not come up with reasonable alternatives. I see the unconsciousness in this.  I do.  I do my best to stay in presence,  not to judge it,  but to view this behaviour as coming from a mind of a child in evolutionary terms.  I am able to stay compassionate and understanding to some degree when I do that ...but my state of presence, consciousness, after a period of time gets pulled down into the muck and mire of this negativity and poor choices. 

Then I turn around. somewhat depleted, to see another form of deep self deprecating negativity in another loved one struggling to get through the holidays, struggling to get out of bed, and my heart breaks.  I do my best to stay present, offering support, referring elsewhere etc to no avail.....Even though I see what is happening from a higher level of consciousness; even though I know that the attention on this pain, the constant commenting on it, the creation of stories around it, the feeding of it  is  just pulling the person down farther....my sharing of this insight is limited as the person is not ready to hear it. Sigh! I then find myself actually feeling  their pain and it is overwhelming. 

Then I turn around to another whose own chaotic energy has always pulled me into it.  I struggle to anchor down and stay still as I love and give but find myself reacting and resisting in  those winds of energy turbulence. After just a short period of time, I am further drained.

Then behind me, I become aware of another whose long term unhealthy, self destructive choices  have become so quiet, nothing but a hum in the background of my life, in comparison to the loud noises right  in front of me. Still I feel the pain...so much stuffed pain. My heart breaks. Presence slips a way a bit more...

And all this is just in my immediate midst. There is so much further out there beyond this proximity to consider. With what have I got left to consider and deal with that? Unconsciousness drags me into the drama right here, I so long to escape from, and I am filled with thoughts of my responsibility in this suffering.  "How could this be? What did you do wrong? What didn't you do?  Why can't you stop it or fix it?" 

I know in my heart of hearts that the solution isn't in anything out there or in "fixing them". It is in me.  I need to be fully  present first.  I know I need to be still and consciously aware of the mess I have inside first...so that I can purify enough to be truly there for another. My presence is the healing element in all of this. 

Your state of consciousness gets reflected in other humans...Sometimes there is a healing effect you may have without wanting to change a situation, but by remaining present in a situation...remaining nonreactive, you may somehow change the environment without feeling like you are doing it. Eckhart Tolle

I want to believe that.  So, I go back to my sadhanna, back to my practice, back to the learning to stay present...again, and again, and again.

All is well. 

Eckhart Tolle ( December, 2023) Navigating Family and Work Situations with Presence. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axW-XOY9vfk

Joy and Love Beyond the Filter-Veil Layer

 

"Open", is more important than the word "love". Just stay open . Don't seek love, seek openness, and love and joy will flow.

Michael A. Singer (somewhat paraphrased)

No mind, I won't close.

Michael A. Singer reminds us, in the below linked podcast, that our innate nature is love and joy. 

Joy is an uplifting experience of energy, coming up from somewhere inside you...it raises you up, it never brings you down ...it is an inner experience of upliftment.

If that is true, why do so few of us experience this joy and love all the time? Why are so many of us pulled down into dark and heavy emotional experiences?  

We don't experience it, because we close to it. We close to the "I am" that we truly are, the Source from which this joy flows. When we close to joy we feel pain.  When we close to light, we experience darkness. 

We close because we have built a thick filter-veil between this "I am" and the outside world. This filter layer is our psyche, the sum of our learned experiences, a thick layer of stuffed and stored emotional past experiences.   We perceive and experience all sensory input through this layer and it decides if we should stay open to what life is giving us, and therefore if we should stay open to  the joy within, or if we should close to life and therefore close to joy and love . This filter veil becomes the means by which we experience Life. All of life  experiences that enter must pass through this filter- veil before making their way out.  If we close, they do not pass through. 

It is a habitual tendency for many of us to react to what we deem as life's pleasant or unpleasant experiences based on this psyche layer...this filter-veil we created inside us through which all of Life's events must pass through. If an outside event triggers our samskaras which are the building blocks of this veil-filter, we will either open to the experience (if it is pleasing) or close to the experience (if it is potentially painful).  We probably do more closing in a given life time than we do opening.  We therefore experience less joy and love than we do grief and hardship.  Sigh.

I am discovering that it doesn't have to be that way.   We do not need to react to life events in the way we are conditioned to do so. We can break the lifelong habit of stuffing and storing (pulling in what we deem as soothing to our inside wounds and pushing away what we deem as pain triggers).  We can learn to let it all pass through. How?

First, we need to recognize the filter-veil we created  that all this stuff is getting trapped in as it pushes through.  See this psyche, for what it is. It is something the personal mind  created.  It is not who we are, but in the way of who we are.  We spend so much time and energy focusing on this psyche, believing it to be everything we are, that we fail to see beyond it to who we really are.  We are not this psyche, this "me" with all its dramas and reactivity.  We are that "I am" that not only has the ability to observe the psyche in action, but to be free of it.

Next, we need to create a bit of distance from this samskara ridden drama of reactivity so we can observe it.  Recognize how it doesn't work in keeping us joyful or safe. The more of life events we pull in or push away in an attempt to feel good and avoid pain, the more we repress and suppress, the thicker the layer gets.  The thicker the layer gets, the farther away from joy and love we get.  Joy and love ...are not out there...they are  in here and all we need to do is open to the experience. 

Thirdly, we need to commit to not closing .  It is a choice  we are all capable of making. Make the choice for true joy.

Fourthly, we need to stay mindful and aware, observing each reaction as it starts within us.  We may notice how we are physically and emotionally feeling uplifted by a comment a person makes.  We may notice how our face is blushing in shame, or the knot is starting to twist in the belly, or the body is tensing in reaction to something that is happening out there- recognizing how it is getting tangled up in old painful samskaras.  Notice.

Lastly, don't follow the pull to close when you notice the uncomfortable feelings emerging. Do the opposite of what the mind is telling you to do. Don't resist, don't react.  Relax and let go.

This is a conversation I am committed to having with my mind when I notice that tendency to close in reaction to a person or an event that normally triggers my samskaras in a less than positive way: 

"No mind, I am not going to follow you into reactivity and resistance. This is simply what it is...not good or bad, not right or wrong, not 'should be' or 'shouldn't be'...just is. It happened. Let's accept it and let it go.  

...I see why you are doing this that you do, encouraging me to close; why the part  of you, called 'personal mind',  pulls in and pushes away; why you created this thick veil or filter in the first place.  You want to protect "me". But this habit tendency doesn't work for who 'I am'. The "I am" is not this "me". This  psyche, this sum of learned experiences, this filter-veil  created for protective purposes, is not who "I am". I am doesn't need to be protected.

I am just observing it and unfortunately being so distracted by it, I have dimmed down...I am not shining with the love and joy I am made of. Every reaction, every stored and stuff experience...every time I react, resist= close, just dims me more. 

I don't want to keep doing this.   I want to know I am going to be okay no matter what happens. I want to stay open!!!  I am, therefore, going to stop reacting to stuff. I am going  to stop storing stuff.  Not closing is a process, a life long practice I have yet to master but man, I am committed to it. It is the only way to peace...to joy...to love. 

So, we need to work together to dismantle the veil that everything is getting caught up in. We need to clean out and neutralize the inside...okay? And that starts with not adding more to the mess.  We are not going to resist this that is happening right now nor are we going to pull it in. We are going to hold up our internal hands of will, and let it pass right through.  

I am not going to listen to you when you  tell me through the skip in my heart, or the tightening of my gut, the heat in my face or the tensing up  of my muscles when life unfolds these things, like this one,  before me...that it is time to push away or pull in.  I am going to notice, breathe in, accept, do my best to relax, and observe how this event comes in and how it leaves, okay?  No more closing. I am going to do my best to stay open. You can work with me but even if you don't, I am not going to close!"

Wow! Game changer.

Of course, that is a big long ramble when all you have to say in times of approaching reactivity is,  "It is what it is.  I can handle this. I am not closing."

All is well!

Michaela A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( December 25, 2023) Opening to Unconditional Joy. https://tou.org/talks/

Merry Christmas

 

 

             Merry Christmas to all!

   

                                   May Your Light Shine Brightly!

Relax into Life. Stay Open

The purpose of Life is love.  God is love.

Michael A. Singer

I get Charlie Horses all the time and they can be nasty.  I used to dread them. As soon as I felt the tensing up in my arch and the spreading a part of the toes I would shout out, "Oh no!It is happening again."  My entire body would tense up as the pain crept up from my foot, all the way up to my hip.   In reaction I would jump up and stamp and stamp my foot against the ground in hope that it would put this internal fire out. It never did. My reaction only intensified the pain. I judged it all as excruciating, a painful squeeze from life and it felt that way...lasting up to thirty minutes at a time. 

Hmm!  I used to react that way to Charlie Horses.  I don't anymore.  In this new commitment I have to allowing things "out there" to be as they are as I do the inner work of not closing....I am learning to handle my Charlie Horses, and I am learning to handle life. When I feel that initial tightening in the soul of my foot now, indicating that a spasm is about to happen...instead of resisting it and reacting to it...I gently tell myself to relax....just relax.  I take a deep breath in  and I breathe out...again and again, focusing on the belly rising on the in breath, falling on the out.  The pain  remains but it is almost as if it is in the background of my awareness.  I am more focused on awareness and non resistance in those moments than I am on the pain...it is like the pain is in the distance.  These Charlie Horses only last a few seconds now.  They come into my experience, are experienced, then they are gone.  I don't cling to them anymore as I did when I resisted them.  They simply are...neither good or bad; right or wrong; should be or shouldn't be.  And that makes all the difference

We need to take this approach in response to whatever life gives us.  Relax into it and allow it to be what it is. 

When we do this we are not closing...we are not blocking the flow of Shakti through us.  We keep the peace flowing.  Of course, we also have some work to do in recognizing and then allowing all the stored stuff from our past to come up...all that trapped emotional energy that kept the Shakti from flowing freely, that led to all this emotional turmoil we tend to experience from taking over our lives. When we practice with the small stuff like Charlie Horses...we come to see how relaxing into what is, is the answer.  The less we put on top of our buried stuff, the more room it has to come up on its own.  With each release we will feel freer and freer, more connected to the Love that is our purpose, more connected to God.  

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( December 24, 2023) How Not to Close.  https://tou.org/talks/

Aparigraha: The Non Acceptance of Gifts

 When a man does not receive presents, he does not become beholden to others, but remains independent and free. His mind becomes pure.

Vivekananda 

I am thinking of one of the yamic guidances...rules and regulations for those wanting to be yogis.  A yogi, of course, is just someone who wants to be free of all samskaras and samsaras and who is willing to do the work.  According to the first limb of Patanjali's Eight limbed Raja yoga (Yama), a yogi is not to accept gifts.  

Say what crazy lady?  If I want to be free and happy, I cannot accept gifts...not even at Christmas time?  What do I tell my kid who hands me a beautifully wrapped present on Christmas day that they put so much thought and effort into getting for me, "Thanks but no thanks, I am trying to cut back?" They are not offering me a cigarette, for God sake, they are doing something from their heart!

Hmm! I know I am having a hard time with that.  Christmas is a hard time for wanna be yogis for many reasons...but this one little yamic rule is especially challenging this time of the year.  I have yet to adhere to it and I don't know if I can.

Like most mothers do, I go around for months before Christmas telling my children ( and others) not to waste their money buying me a present.  I don't need anything. Please, donate it elsewhere where it is needed. Then I go out and buy all of them something... I do this for me, not them. I not only  feel better about giving, I still have this conditioned need inside me to satisfy that expectation Christmas arouses in me. They know that I will buy for them, and they feel obligated to buy or make something for me.  ( I do cherish the home made gifts...like photo albums, paintings, crafts etc. or when they donate the money elsewhere, on my behalf! But a gift is a gift), I feel obligated to accept each gift graciously.

Man, Christmas would be so much easier if gifting wasn't a part of it, wouldn't it be? It would be easier for the yogi and it would be easier for the non-yogi. So much stress would be eliminated.  What if we took every bit of money we were spending on each other and donated it to those beings who really needed it...we could do it on each other's behalf if that made us feel better. Better still, do it anonymously without anyone ever knowing where it came from and from whom. So, we were not caught up in the giver gratifications so many us are striving for. 

What about the kids, crazy lady?

I think we can wean down there, can't we?  One gift per child from an unseen giver who gives unconditionally until this tradition weans itself out?  What are we teaching our kids with this giver/ receiver mentality in this very materialistic world?  A true gift is not material, is it?  What about teaching them about service and kindness and giving love this time of year ( and all year)? Wouldn't that be more beneficial to them and to the world in the long run?

If we want to decondition the world from this habit, we need to begin with ourselves.  I need to begin with me.  I need to say outright, "I am not giving or receiving gifts this year, but I will give you my time, my energy, and my love today and throughout the year." I don't know how to wrap that but that is what I hope to do.

This year?

No, not this year.  I did not follow through from my announcement last year. Sigh! I will try better next year. I will make the "Absolutely No Presents Next Year " announcement again...and hopefully we will all follow through. 

 I guess, I wont be getting any yogi badges from Santa in my stocking.

It is challenging to decondition ourselves from these cultural tendencies, isn't it?  Even if we know in our heart how better we would all be if we did.

All is well. 

Look up and Around Instead of Down

 

Don't focus downward at what isn't. Look up and around at what is. 

Written December 21, 2023 ( yesterday)

Sometimes...it just feels like the world is out to get "me".  Rationally, and spiritually, I know it is not but my mind just chirps in there to say, "See, I told you so. Life is going to ensure that you never catch a break."  Difficult things happen, they do, and they are not personal.  I know that.  I do. Yet, it feels so personal sometimes dragging my focus and attention down into it. 

My cat gets  sick right before Christmas and I am in the existential crisis, I go in whenever a pet I love gets sick.    "What do I do?  Do I break the bank, possibly traumatize the animal that is so easily traumatized, to do whatever I can in an attempt to save her, knowing full well, as in the past, that there is a good chance I won't save her? Or do I let her go, naturally, the way she seems to know how to go?" What is best for her?  Nature is obviously telling her, "Go hide somewhere until I am ready for you." She is listening to that inner wisdom that is so much greater than any veterinarian science could be. 

Yet ...if it is just a furball caught somewhere it isn't suppose to be, causing all this, or something else that can be easily treated...I need to do what I can.  The trouble is...we don't know what it is. ...we may never know what it is. What do I do?  I am taking her back to the vet in a bit and I am hoping that she can appreciate my concerns and help me decide what is best for my cat. 

On top of that a family member had a serious accident and fractured his leg.  We are happy that it wasn't more but as a result we had to cancel the trip we had booked together in January. Though I didn't have the opportunity to focus too much on the future, now that the potential of getting away from all this is gone, I am missing what I never had. My daughters are suffering, as well, and I don't know how to help them. Christmas is so hard for them.  This cat thing might be too much for one of them. I don't know how to approach that. I am not feeling well ...know I am doing too much in order to stay afloat financially...costing me physically. The recyclables I put out this morning are blowing across the road and I do not have the time or energy to go out and pick them all up. Sigh! So today I seem to be focusing downward. All energy is being pulled into this little black hole of negative thought related to "me" and my personal story. 

It is what it is.  All these events will change and move across my moments like the cardboard boxes are doing across the neighborhood and they will not last. They have nothing to do with "me" unless I make them. I need to lift my gaze up and away from the magnetic pull of this dark hole and look at the rest of space...the infinite, expansive canopy of Life that this black hole is just a tiny insignificant dot on.

There is so much more than this.

I share here in confidence that no one...other than those responsible for putting up the false high numbers on the stats page...are reading this.

All is well

December 22, 2023...Today

My gaze  is moving, as are the actual events that I have been reacting to.  Had an amazing vet...very holistic and family centered in her approach, empathetic to the financial strain on pet owners,  and willing to go over and beyond with that in consideration.  After ruling out so much it was discovered it was an impacted furball causing the problem...now in the colon...meaning that it is making its way through the GI tract and likely out. Not out yet...so we are not completely out of the woods ... but we will be , I am sure. And man...I was almost ready and willing to follow my gut and let my cat go. Sigh. I will be picking her up at three.  :) Sure it cost some but the problem was found this time and more than likely resolved by now; it could have cost more, and I don't have to worry about another trigger for my daughter. I am more than willing to pay for the amazing service I got. Happy.  

Awe...I am reacting still, aren't I?  I am reacting to the turn of events...as if external events  and not me, are responsible for my inner state of being. Just as the cat getting sick was not responsible for my sadness, her getting better is not responsible for my relief.  I simply closed up and opened up in response to what my mind was telling me about these events. The sense of undisturbed peace is and always was in me.  I was just not feeling it when I allowed mind to pull me down into the dark hole because I closed up to it. And when I open up again, I feel it.  Life events are just triggers, that's all. It is the personal mind that tells us to open and close, that keeps our gaze down on little me's dramas etc. Without the personal mind's involvement in "the tide of affairs of men", there would be no reactivity, no closing.  We would simply stay open. 

Thought I would share.

All is well 

Difficult Things

 

All difficult things have their origin in that which is easy, and great things in that which is small. 

Lao Tzu

Zero readers according to Google analytics; readers in the triple digits according to the stats page here. Sigh! What the heck is happening? It is what it is, I guess.

My cat is sick- the one that is often in the videos with me, She won't eat.  It has been days. We have been to the vet once.  Back again on Thursday. I have had that feeling in my gut since it began. I am not going to say, "Oh no! Not before Christmas!" The date really means little to me. (Don't get me wrong! I do celebrate it but I just feel Christmas should be an everyday of the year thing :) And that it "shouldn't"  be a certain way or that only so called "good" things should happen at Christmas. ) I just feel bad for my cat, and I feel helpless for "me" because I still feel I need to do something...pursue all heroic life saving possibilities, even when I cannot afford it and know it might not help her to stay alive or live longer or better. Truth is, she may just be telling me, for whatever reason, it is her time.  I need to let her go, if that is the case. No matter how much it hurts. Anyway, we will see what the day and rest of week has in store for us.  Going to do what seems reasonable and love her while I can. 

All is well. 

The Heavy Side of Christmas

Christmas is not a time or a season, but a state of mind.

Calvin Coolidge

Christmas is a happy, joyful time,  right? Or at least it is "supposed to be" . That "supposed to be" puts an awful lot of heavy pressure on people who are not happy at Christmas, making them even unhappier. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, 52% of Canadians report an increase in anxiety, depression, and isolation during the holiday season. That is over half the population.

Why are you telling us that? Where is your Christmas spirit, crazy lady? What a way to Grinch us all out. 

It is not my intention to "Grinch" anyone out. Nor is it my intention to feed this social and cultural expectation that adds so much heaviness to so many, anymore than it has already been fed.

The problem isn't Christmas. It is just a day or a season, right?  How can 'one day', one holiday season,  be a problem?  Besides, there is so much to love about Christmas.  I love how people seem  more giving and more friendly, more forgiving of transgressions and imperfections. I love the decorations that give off an essence of earthy coziness.  I love the warm feeling I get when I see lights reflecting off the snow.  I love getting together with people I may not get together with otherwise.  I love the warm flood of childhood memories that arise when I hear a Christmas tune. I love having my family around the kitchen table as I dish out the traditional feast. I love the excitement in the eyes of my grandchildren and other children. I love the talk and intention of "peace" the season makes so obvious. 

Yet, I also question why we put so much hype...so much emphasis on one day.   Any day to honor the wise teacher Christ and to remember His teachings about peace and love is worthwhile, but should it just be one day that we truly adhere to these teachings? Besides, December 25th was not the actual day Christ was born.  It was the church that decided to mark this day on the calendar...more as a way of interfering with the pagan festival of winter solstice than anything else.  Yet, collective preferring, desiring, and wanting over the centuries  built this day up into an expectation no one can really keep up with.  

We, as a cultural collective made it into something it isn't. Now we are chasing the dream with our overindulging, over consuming, overspending, over expecting...looking for something in Christmas that is already in us...hidden beneath our false ideas of who we think we are and what we assume the world out there is supposed to do for us.  What we do to "celebrate Christ on His birthday" really isn't very holy, is it? Or very healthy?

The problem isn't Christmas.  The problem is how we are dealing with it.  More specifically, the problem is how we are dealing with Life as evident through our expectations of Christmas. We are placing so much hope and expectation on something "out there" to make us feel peace, happy, love, joy, bliss in side, for at least one day ( or a few days).  

And to a person who feels they just can't keep up with society's expectations of success and happiness for whatever reason on any other day of the year, the expectation of Christmas can be very, very heavy. "If I can't feel good at Christmas than there is something very, very wrong with me.  Why am I even here?" Sadly, I have heard that too many times.

Christmas is not the problem creating unhappiness for  the individual and Christmas cannot be the solution for the collective either . Christmas cannot "make us less happy" nor  can it put happiness into a busy, confused world. Whatever we hope to get from Christmas is already inside us. It is an internal and an eternal season. If we want to truly get what the founder of this day taught, we need to take our gaze away from the shopping malls, the Christmas trees , the let- me- feel -better- about -myself- by giving- at -Christmas mentality ...to where this "peace that passes all understanding" resides...inside us! 

For the one chasing the dream of Christmas magic, I say, "Stop! Be still, for at least a few minutes a day, and look inside. What you are looking for isn't out there.  It is in you already. When you put away your expectation of Christmas, of the world, of the self for Self's, you may just find the peace that is already in you.  And it won't cost you a thing; it won't  drain you of energy; and it won't make you all stressed out trying to keep up with it. It will fill you up and it will set you free."

To the person living in fear and depression and loneliness, seeing Christmas as adding to their suffering, I say, "Stop! Be still for at least a few minutes a day, and look inside. What you are running from and wanting to avoid is not out there. It is in you but it doesn't have to be. When you put away your expectations of Christmas, of the world, of self for Self's, you may just find the peace that is already in you.  And it won't cost you a thing. drain you of energy, or make you more depressed trying to keep up with it. It will fill you up and it will set you free."

All is well in my world. 

Note: For all those experiencing an increase in anxiety, depression and isolation over the holidays please know there is help. Please reach out to someone, anyone, and let them know you need help! I care about you and I want you to be well. 

• Warm lines:  https://www.wellnesstogether.ca/en-ca/resource/peer-support-warmline
• Peer to peer Community for youth: https://www.wellnesstogether.ca/en-ca/resource/peer-to-peer-community
• Suicide Hotline: Talk Suicide at 1-833-456-4566 toll free in Canada (1-866-277-3553 in Quebec) or dial 911.
• Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or dial 911 in case of emergency (US)

Blessed By It All!

This will be the last state, and the Yogi will become peaceful and calm, never to feel any more pain, never to be again deluded, never to be touched by misery. He will know he is ever blessed, ever perfect, almighty.

Vivekananda, page 134

We can reach this last state by working our ways through the personal mind and our clouded, blocked hearts to the root of all so called problems.  Singer tells us, in the below linked podcast, that the root of all suffering is our resistance to what is.  It is like we are saying,  "I can't handle life unless it works the way I prefer it to, in a way that  doesn't disturb my stored stuff." 

It is our resistance to what is that is the source of all our issues.   And what is our resistance based on? An inability to accept, appreciate, and honor all of Life as it is. It is is based on our preferences. It is based on our psyches ( the sum of all our learned experiences). It is based on the blockages we stored in our heart ( samskaras). 

When the Yogi advances beyond preferences, he or she or they, will no longer be disturbed by what is going on out there.  They will no longer spend their energy trying to control, manipulate, pull in or push away the outside world because it bothers them. They will not suffer.  They will still experience challenging situations and hardships but instead of resisting through avoidance, suppression and repression, they will accept, honor and embrace each experience as being a blessing from Life.

Let's compare how an unevolved human being, and an evolved yogi may approach this situation: Someone they love has been diagnosed with advanced cancer and are being told there is nothing to be done. 

An Unevolved Response to Extreme Challenge

The unevolved person with an active psyche and samskara blocked heart (which would be most of us.) : "Oh no! This can't be.  I can't handle this.  This hurts too much.  It reminds me of when I lost my mother to cancer. I don't want to feel that again.  We have to fix it in someway.  We will try every treatment.  We will go to every specialist. We will tell every doctor who says there is nothing to be done to go to he$$. We will only listen to people who tell us otherwise. We will do whatever we can to fix and control this because it isn't what we want! " 

Then when they discover that death of the loved one is happening anyway, "God and Life are so cruel.  Why are they doing this to me? What am I going to do? I can't...I just can't deal with this.  I am so sorry, but I have to leave.  I have to numb.  I have to run away somehow and in someway from this experience. I have to shut you out.  I have to close my heart and therefore the flow of love I have for you. It is the only way I can handle this! I am sorry"  The unevolved human may shut their heart to the natural flow of love inside, adding another big dirty samskara to it. 

This is how many of us will respond in such a situation.  It is completely understandable but is it the most wholesome of options? 

Hmmm!

An Evolved Response

The advanced yogi might respond this way. "Oh, I feel so sad when I hear this news. I feel fear, anger, and grief, I know these feelings are coming from the love I have for you and my fear of losing you.  They are personal.  The situation, however, isn't.  It is beyond my control. If there is anything to be done, I will do it.  If there is nothing to be done, I will accept it. I will still feel intense fear, anger, and grief as I ride this wave but I will not allow myself to close my heart to the flow of love within. I will be here for you in my ultimate presence, though it hurts, loving you,  experiencing all of it.  I thank God for all of it too...for allowing me to feel this love for you and these other feelings that make me human.  I am blessed. "

Wow! Imagine being able to respond to such a challenge like that? We can, if we do the work of getting to the root of our resistance. When we clear our hearts and minds of that which is blocking the flow of Shakti ( love and bliss) through us, we will not only be accepting of what life gives us...we will appreciate  and honor all of it. 

All is well. 

 Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( December 17, 2023) The Root of the Mind is in the Heart. https://tou.org/talks/

Swami Vivekananda (n.d.) The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda. Kindle Edition. 

Not Bearing Fruit

The right is to work only, but never to its fruits; let the fruit of action be not thy motive, nor let they attachment be to inaction. 

Lord Krishna ( The Gita, 2.47) . 

Absolutely no viewership, according to the Stats page again.  Google analytics shows some viewers, when I can get into it, that the site does not show, but I can no longer access Analytics from this site. It is like I am cut off from the world. Shut down and shut out. The "why and how?" questions come to mind and I get pulled into the pool of confusion over why what I feel called to do with my time is possibly not having the effect it is meant to. As I see now...not having any effect.  Not going anywhere. Why?

 I know this-what I do here- is a personal calling.  It is so strong I couldn't stop if I wanted to.  It benefits me tremendously.  Am I not, however,  suppose to be reaching someone, one person, at least, outside myself? If I am not reaching anyone here, do I need another site or medium? Then there is even  suspicion that other variables are at play.  Am I being purposefully cut out somehow for reasons that are less than wholesome? The samskaras I have stored of past memories remind me that it happened before, it could happen again. I feel a certain suspicious reactivity that I would like to be beyond.Sigh. 

I really am evolving beyond my attachment to outcome.  I truly, truly do not want to feed an ego with the flashy things of the world like notoriety or recognition.  I don't. A few readers a day, even one or two, would be enough to validate that I am doing the "important work". Though ego is still around, objecting to being cut off, my deeper Self isn't objecting. It is just curiously questioning what is going on and what it all means. Maybe, people are truly not interested in my approach or "me" as the messenger.  That is perfectly okay.  They may find the message elsewhere. That's great! It isn't about "me". I have come so far. If  a lack of connection now is simply the way it is...I am perfectly okay with it.  I will flow with it, trusting that Life knows what it is doing, but if there  are other reasons for it, other reasons involved like my gut is telling me there might be...I would like to know why and how... so I can do what is needed! 

Hmm! I want to grow.  This, what I do here, regardless of the outcome, is helping me to do that. 

Still, I question "why?".  If what I have come to see as so very important is being done here, why am I not reaching others who may feel the same way, regardless of my approach? Should I figure that out and do what is needed so that I reach others?  Or should I just settle into obscurity, lay back in it and float around until Life pulls me in another direction? 

I don't know. 

The answer to the doing will come but the doing or the fruit of this doing is not what is important, is it?

All is well! 

I will take a picture of this entry . Then I will send a request to those who profess to read what I write here to open up to my site...to determine if they have been cut off again or if they voluntarily decided not to read. Then we will go from there. 

The Stages in the Search for True Knowledge

Our own Self was so pure and perfect that we require none else. We require non else to make us happy, for we are happiness itself. We will find that this knowledge does not depend on anything else; throughout the universe there can be nothing that will not effulgent before our knowledge. This will be the last state, and the Yogi will become peaceful and calm, never to feel any more pain, never to be again deluded, never to be touched by misery. He will know he is ever blessed, everperfect, almighty. 

Vivekananda

As we practice our sadhanas, taking steps toward Self realization, truth, Patanjali taught we will encounter several signs to let us know we are getting there (well not really anywhere but here where we always were ...but you know what I mean:) ). 

1. The Dissatisfied state will vanish and we will know that we are moving in the right  direction . Why? We will see that the external world cannot satisfy our need to know. We will no longer desire to know anything more or to fill our heads up with more knowledge and stuff from the outside world.  in the form of concepts, ideas, rationalizations, hopes and dreams etc. Knowing thyself will become of upmost importance. We will turn inward in the path's only true direction. We will have a renewed faith and motivation to stick to the path. 
2. All pain will vanish.  We will see that what is out there really cannot hurt us. As ACIM taught centuries' after Patanjali, "Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists.  Therein lies the peace of God." We will no longer be disturbed by anything in the universe so therefore we will no longer have the need to avoid anything.
3. Omniscience. We will gain full knowledge and understanding of the mind and the universe. 
4. The end of duty. There will no longer be anything left to be done. "If we understand the cosmic plan, we rise above all doership." ( Vivekananda). There will be no more 'musting' and 'shoulding' and 'ought-to-ing' or 'having to'.  Thy will be done, will replace 'my will to have done'. 
5. The Chitta becomes free once we realize that our mind stuff is only in the way and we let it go.  Once there is separation of the ego from the Chitta or Citta (mind) , there is freedom. 
6. Then the mind itself is lost. It is completely chucked off. Citta-nasa or mano-naso.
7. Self-realization or samadhi. We realize we are and have always been established in the Self. We just didn't realize it until now becasue the mind-stuff was in the way. Without the mind stuff...Voila!...Eternal Conscious Bliss. Beholding the Self by itSelf, one is satisfied in the Self. 

Singer is speaking about this sutra from Patanjali, Book 2, Sutra 27, whether he intends to or not.  Ironically this is what I was reading when I opened up to his podcast on Jnana Yoga. Serendipity? I believe so.

All is well.

Sri Swami Satchidananda (2011) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Integral Yoga Publications: Yogaville (page 112-116)

Vivekananda ( n.d.) The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda. Kindle Edition (page 132-134)

 Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( December 14, 2023) Gyana as a Path to Inner freedom.https://tou.org/talks/

 

Not What People Here Adore

 Not that which the eye can see, but that by which the eye can see, know that to be Brahman. Not what people here adore.

Kena Upanishads

All is well!

What Eckhart Tolle Reminded Me of Today

 The whole activity of nature is to make the soul know that it is entirely separate from nature. When the soul knows this, nature has no more attractions for it. But the whole of nature vanishes only for the man who has become free.

Vivekananda, Complete Works page 132

Huh? I thought you were going to talk about what you learned from Eckhart Tolle.  Why are you opening with a quote from some yogi dude? 

What I realize more and more, as I farther realized today upon listening to Eckhart Tolle, is that all great teachings are pointing to the same truth.  What  Eckhart Tolle is saying in these videos, and what he teaches in general, is pointing to  the very same truths Vivekananda taught in his life time. I connect all the teachings I share here to that truth. 

Freedom from nature is everything, the ultimate goal.

Nature according to yogic tradition is simply form, everything of the material world, matter. It is temporal, ever changing, limited, perishable, subject to time and space, birth and death. The human body and mind fall into that realm of nature. The soul, on the other hand is eternal, never changing. unlimited, all powerful, everywhere, not bound by time or space or by this idea of birth and death.  It is free.  It has always been free but when we use our powerful consciousness to focus down onto nature: the body, the mind and all its drama, and the events of the world etc ...the soul which is that awareness gets absorbed into identifying with  nature and forgets what it is. Yet nature is only here to help us learn that we are not it. We need to realize we are not it, at the deeper level.

Huh?

The events of nature we encounter everyday, that we focus on and get lost in, that we judge as good or bad,  are here to guide us and teach us who we really are so we can be free.  We need to find that transactional point between the horizontal plane ( physicality...which includes the mind) with all its limits and the vertical plane ( the non physical) with its infinite freedom. The mind is bound in nature, the soul isn't. The world as it unfolds in front of us is meant to free us but we do have a choice.  We can stay bound in mind or become free by realizing we are soul/Self.  We can be free to experience the unfolding of nature/life just as it is or we can get all tangled up and bound in what the mind does with it. There is a big difference between circumstances, Tolle reminds us, and what the mind does with those circumstances, the commentary it creates.  Do we want to get all tangled up in  the mess of commentary and mind stuff, or do we want to embrace the isness of life through soul, so we can be free? 

As long as we are searching and seeking out there in the material world for our joy, we will never find it.  We will remain caught up in nature and therefore suffering.  We will be bound. If we depend on the outside world, with its conditions, we will never be free.  Any  pleasure and pain it offers the body ( the biggest part of this 'nature' we identify as)  is limited and temporary. The real lasting joy is what the soul is. Yet, if we are so busy looking to nature to give us joy...and to avoid pain...we will never be free. As long as we are caught up in the commentary, the story, we build around the circumstances that unfold in front of us, we will never accept and truly "be" in the present moment, embracing the "isness" of it all.  We will, therefore, never experience freedom. 

That is what the great teachers teach.

Hmm! Something to thing about. 

All is well.

Eckhart Tolle ( December, 2023) How Do you use your mind to cultivate joy? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQfn2GjWE-g

Eckhart Tolle ( March 28, 2023)  How to Live...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOSG_X-gRsg

Sri Swami Vivekananda (n.d.) The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda. Kindle Edition

Not Bad, Not Good, Just Is

 Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.

Hamlet/Shakespeare Act 2 Scene 2

All is well!

Letting Go of Stuff Through Relationships

Every day of your life you can be higher than you were the day before...just let go of some of that stuff. 

Michael A. Singer

If you have ever read anything I have ever written or listened to anything I have ever said, you will see that I am committed to my sadhanna, my practice of healing, learning, growing and expanding. I am committed to untangling all the knots inside me that prevent me from realizing and being my true Self. I am committed to letting go of my stuff, and my 'self'. I know, in every cell of my being, that if I want to do anything truly positive and worthwhile in this life time, that is it.  It is the only truly significant work I could ever take part in.  Any service I provide out there, will be lacking until I do the work in here.  (That doesn't mean, of course, that I do not provide a service out there.  Providing service is a giant part of my sadhana. It will help me to remove the focus from "self" ( "little me") so that my focus eventually expands to Self which is everything. everyone...no thing/no one.)

Some partners need to do a lot of inside work

Anyway, I digress.  I am committed to my practice.  I wake up in the morning and I meditate.  I practice kriya yoga.  I come out here, on mornings I am not providing service elsewhere, and I listen, read, study something significant from another human who has already ascended or who is at least a head of me on this journey.  I absorb it, if it resonates, and I further my commitment to live by the teachings.  I write here, or do a silly video,  regurgitating my learning. I practice hatha yoga.  I teach hatha yoga. I take care of my pets. I feed my crows ...now 'crow'( yes, that is part of my practice). I spend time with my daughters or grandchildren. I walk in the woods with the dogs  surrounded by nature. I do all the other things of daily life. I cook and clean for self and others. ( Wellll...I could do a little more of the cleaning let me tell ya. ) . I read. I try to knit ( working on mitts for grandchildren and man...I am struggling lol). I watch too much TV in the evenings. I deal with each crisis or request for help from another when they unfold in front of me as best as I can. I read and meditate before sleep...and I start all over the next day.  Every moment is part of my practice.  I do my best to stay observant of my mind and my tendencies. I try to recognize when I am being pulled into them, to relax when I notice, and I gently call myself back. (I am getting gentler and more compassionate with self as I notice...which is a sign of my healing and my growth) Oh man, I fall flat on my face in the muck of my samskaras again and again but I am committed to letting them come up and out.  It isn't fun; it isn't easy; and it is far from comfortable...but I am committed to untangling this mess the true Self is caught up in. It is work for me to untangle, a lot of work. 

Others Don't

Then, I look at D. and I am floored. I see a man who had more challenge and trauma in his life than most, yet he isn't all tangled up in his samskaras like I seem to be. His ability to let go is phenomenal. There is so little reactivity and so much relaxed detachment in him.  He just walks through life lightly and gently, expecting little, grateful for all. And people seem to flock to him. They recognize that easiness in him.  The children and the teachers at school love him. Animals love him. Babies and toddlers love him.   He is like a warm May breeze that flows from one  open window to the next. Whatever he says or does in the presence of another just goes in and then out, but it leaves the other  bathing in warmth.  He has absolutely no idea what he is doing.  He doesn't meditate, nor is he the most aware or mindful person I know. He isn't putting effort or work into being like this. Infact, when he does start to practice with me he loses something natural.  This is simply the way he is. He is a person that would seldom trigger anyone into reactivity.

Triggered

Yet, I am apparently triggered by him at times. I am reactive around him. I share this because I believe reactivity  to be a common occurrence in long term relationships.  It is worthy of exploring as we "enter the laboratory of soul exploration" as part of our practice. Understanding our wants, our expectations, and  our needs when it comes to relationships could be a very big step forward toward our healing and  Self realization. Don't you think?

Why are we triggered in our so called "special relationships" (ACIM)? Why do we question them? 

The attraction of the unholy[special] relationship starts to fade and be questioned almost at once. Once it is formed, doubt must enter in, because its purpose is impossible. The ideal of the unholy [special] relationship thus becomes one in which the reality of the other does not enter at all to"spoil"  the dream. And the less the other really brings to the relationship, the "better" it becomes. Thus the attempt at union becomes a way of excluding even the one with whom the relationship was sought. For it was formed to get him out of it, and join with fantasies in uninterrupted "bliss".  ACIM-17:III: 4:3-8

The fantasy of what a relationship can bring versus the reality

Why am I triggered into reactivity by someone who is so non reactive? The first thing, I need to remember, is that what ego wants the relationship for ( to stop me from feeling the pain of stored impressions and to  create an illusion of bliss inside) is not what the higher me needs it for. 

Then I need to remember that if I am questioning the relationship, it has little to do with my partner. He is not the problem. Whatever disturbance may be going on inside me is mine...caused by "me" and was likely there long before I ever met him. The areas being unintentionally poked are simply a part of the tangled mess of my past. Whatever he may or may not be doing is simply triggering something that needs to be released. Instead of blaming him for "getting on my nerves",  "not being enough" or "too much", as humans tend to do when expectations are threatened in such relationships; instead of saying, "Okay...that is it.  This isn't good for me.  I am out of here!" ...I can/ we can take another approach.  We can take our attention off of the other person and put it back on self. 

 

Huh?

Instead of asking, "What is wrong with him or her or them ?", we  can ask, "What is wrong with me? What knot inside of me is his/her/their words, actions, presence untangling? Why am I closing up to love?" 

That is basically what the relationship disturbance is, isn't it? A closing up. A reactivation of a stored impression ...a triggering of a locked away memory from the past.  The other person is either not 'making' us happy by allowing space for the positive impressions we are clinging to,to arise as we assume they should,  or they are seemingly, (and unlikely unbeknownst to them)  unravelling and allowing the painful stuff to emerge as we assume they shouldn't. They are not matching any unreal expectation we had for them in this relationship. What he is doing, is not the problem.  My expectations and what I have stored within me, are.  Do you see that? 

When we are reacting, we are comparing and looking for inadequacies in the other. We are seeking to make them "wrong" so our resistance to experiencing what is coming up, our closing up to love, can be viewed as "right" and justified.  There is no right or wrong here...there is just the unwholesome closing and the wholesome opening of the heart to which we are entirely responsible.  One keeps us on the path towards Self realization, and one takes us off it. 

Comparison must be an ego device, for love has none. It is established by a lack seen in another, and maintained by searching for, and keeping clear in sight, all lacks it can perceive.  (ACIM, 24:II:1:1-3)

The more I examine this, the more I look at my reactivity, the more I put away ego comparison, I realize D.  is the perfect partner for me.  Not only because of his easy going nature, or what others see in him...but because he is triggering me.  I don't know why or how but he is.  If I am not triggered, I am not motivated enough to explore my samskaras and to eventually let them go. As a partner, he makes me look inside so I can do the work needed. He is in my life, possibly, to do that. He doesn't know it but he is an essential part of my sadhana. He is going to help me untangle and unravel once and for all. He is, without even trying to, helping me to heal.  He is touching my stuff, without meaning to, and I need to have this stuff poked so that it comes up and out.  

Once it is up and out...once I am clean and clear, I will see that the love, we so erroneously look for in another person, was always inside me.  I was just closing to it. That 'river of joy' Yogananda spoke of will flow again. 

Love is already in us, people. We don't get it from another person, but another person can help us to let go of the stuff that needs to be let go of.  We need to realize that. If we do let go, everyday of our lives can be higher than the day before. 

 As I continue to commit to my practice of becoming Self realized, free, whole, and the love I have spent my life looking for in others, I will see and appreciate D.'s natural "goodness" on a personal relationship  level, and I will honor what he does for me on the spiritual level. This does not have to be an "unholy special relationship, it can be a holy one.  I am so blessed to have him in my life.

All is well

Please note: Honoring and accepting our partners on the spiritual level, does not mean staying in abusive relationships or in relationships where the conscious or unconscious intent of another is malicious and undermining. Loving, protecting  and nurturing self is of utmost importance in your spiritual practice. If the relationship challenges your ability to do that, please get help!  

ACIM

 Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe (December 11, 2023) Working Inside for Unconditional Well Being. https://tou.org/talks/

 

A Story About a Pig

 There is a story about a great king trapped in the body of a pig that I have heard many times in the 25 plus years I have been studying yoga.  I want to retell it now. 

King Indra, once a great king of the demigods, in the heavenly kingdom of Svargaloka  was often  arrogant in his post and had this tendency to offend others.  One day his tendency got him into trouble. He offended Brihaspathi, the spiritual master of all demigods.  

"Oh Indra," Brihaspathi roared, his thunderous voice echoing through the heavens, "Your rudeness has to be corrected.  Because you act like pig, I am sentencing you to a life as one!" 

The Great Spiritual Master called out to Brahmaji, the creator of earth and the entire material world.  "I am sending one of my own down to you.  Treat him as the pig he is, and not as a god. Let him wallow in the mud, eating nothing but man's leftovers from the filthy trough. "

 So as  punishment for his insolence, Indra  was exiled to earth to live his life out as a pig. He soon found himself in the obese and dirty swine's body , in a small little shelter that Brahmaji created for him, surrounded by mud and with a trough located in the far corner of the pen. He was devastated.  He tried using his powers to remove his spirit from the pig's body but he couldn't. He tried shouting out with a plea for release to Brihaspathi but all that would come from his mouth was a pathetic squeal. 

Feeling sorry for the demi god trapped in this pig, and knowing as well that he had to obey Brishapathi's orders, Brahmaji promised Indra that he would wipe all prior memory  from his mind so he would not miss his old life and could accept his pig life.  He promised that he would  keep the trough full with leftovers and that he would give him a mate so he did not feel so much alone. He kept his promise. Indra's memory of who he once was was wiped from his mind. The trough remained full and a lovely sow, in pig terms, was soon in the pen with Indra. 

While Indra was adapting to his life as a pig, things in Svargaloka were not going so well in his absence.  

"We need Indra back here," Brihaspathi ordered Brahmaji. "Go to him and tell him he is free to come home.  He no longer has to be a pig!"

Delighted to be able to free Indra from his miserable plight, Brahmaji went back to earth and to the pen Indra was confined to.  Sure enough, he found the pig wallowing in the mud with flies all around him.  A dirty sow was by his side nursing a dozen little piglets. 

"You are not a pig," Brahmaji called out.  

Indra looked up and replied, "Huh? Of course, I am a pig!  I have this lovely pig's body living in this wonderful warm mud with my beautiful wife by my side and all my sweet children at her breast.  What else would I be? "

"You are a God and you are wanted back in heaven."

"A God? No, I am not a God, nor do I have any desire to be one.  I am perfectly content being a pig.  And this, where I am now, is heaven. This mud is beautiful and warm, the trough is always full.  I need not do anything but wallow.  What a life! Besides,  I could never leave my wife or my children.  There can be nothing greater than the love I have for them and them for me.  No, go away Brahmaji.  I am a pig and very much content with that."

Brahmaji was so surprised by this response and did not know what to do.  He knew he had to get Indra back to Svargaloka as demanded by Brihaspati.  

"Well, I will have to take these things you are so attached to away.  He removed the mud and though Indra cried out, he still refused to be anything but a pig.  "I have my trough, my children, and my wife."

Brahmaji used his powers to remove the trough.Again Indra cried out in pain. 

"I still have my children and my wife."

One by one, Brahmaji used his powers to remove each piglet as Indra cried out in pain and grief. 

"I still have my wife!"

And poof...the sow was gone. 

Indra felt his heart breaking and the world he had come to love so much crumbling.

"Why are you being so cruel?  You have taken all I love away."

"You are a God Indra and you are wanted back home!" 

"I am no God.  I am in this lovely warm and soft pig flesh. I am a pig! Please leave me alone to be this pig with a broken, grieving heart!"

And with that Brahmaji ripped opened the carcass Indra was in and pulled him out .

Indra emerged from the pig's body, feeling lighter than he ever felt before, feeling powerful and strong, feeling much more than the mere contentment he ever  felt as a pig.  He felt bliss, love and joy.  He suddenly remembered who he was.  His life as a pig, he realized, was nothing more than a faint dream.

"And I thought I was that," he said pointing to the pig's body?  "And I thought this was heaven?" he went on...pointing to the pen.  He began to laugh and laugh and laugh.

The end.

Inspired by

Sri Swami Vivekananda (n.d.) The Complete Works of Vivekananda.  Kindle Edition, page 129

Suvyakta Narasimha Dasa/ Speaking Tree (Jan, 2011) When Indra Became a Hog. https://www.speakingtree.in/blog/when-indra-became-a-hog

 

Don't Make God as Small As You

 Your consciousness is the highest thing there is.  It is God.

Michael A. Singer

To a great being, consciousness is everything. God is consciousness or "conscious energy", what the yogis refer to as "chit shakti." Consciousness, then, is omnipresent (everywhere), omnipotent (all-powerful ), and omniscient (all-knowing). Singer reminds us, in the below linked podcast, that there is just as much consciousness/God in your little finger as there is in the farthest galaxy, and it is all connected, all one. 

Narrowing the Focus to the Dot

We are pretty high beings in these tiny, finite forms with these tiny, insignificant psyches that we call "me".   Yet, instead of recognizing and living in our omnipresent, omnipotent and  omniscient nature...we take this powerful consciousness and narrow it down,  focus it down on these tiny little specks we call "me"with all their self made problems and dramas. We, as "me", are tiny little dots on a speck of dust, here for such a short time. We, as awareness,  get pulled down from the higher state of being that we are and become  so lost in the drama, we identify with it, we become it and fail to see all else. We fail to see who we are.

Getting Lost in the Objects of Consciousness

Now, it is taught that there is only one consciousness (God) but a multitude of objects of consciousness. When we are lost in this "me", we focus more on the objects than we do on consciousness itself.  Heck, we are not even aware of consciousness, for the most part, or our true nature.  We see ourselves as that nurse, or doctor, or teacher, or plumber, or patient, or student, or daughter, or father etc  gathering  people, things and experiences that we hope will make us feel good inside, and cursing at or pushing away people, things, or experiences we fear will make us feel bad inside. We spend most of our time, then, clinging to or  resisting what life is unfolding in front of us.  It is like we are in a tug of war contest clinging to one end of the rope as we are pulled forward a few feet  and then as we are able to pull back a few feet...It is exhausting and a challenging way to live.  Yet, all our attention goes to this tiny little insignificant "person" holding onto the rope. All of our attention goes to this object of consciousness and its struggles to hang on. 

Making God as Small as Us

In the midst of our struggle we may look for some relief, some reprieve...a way to "get what we want so we can win this tug of war with life" .  We look for salvation from God.  What we want this omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient God to do is come down into the mud with us and give us what we want so we, as these little  dots on this speck of dust (earth in the infinite universe), feel okay inside. We want God to contract and shrink down into a limited human version we can relate.  We have this need, from this "me" focus, to humanize the holy relationship. God then becomes a concept, a belief, an idea that suits the psyche, not the soul, not the consciousness we actually are. We limit God and we limit ourselves when we do that. This just increases our sense of suffering as we get farther and farther away from who we actually are.

The Other Alternative: Moving Up

We don't have to do this.  We do not need to limit  God or consciousness by pulling It down into these problematic selves.  We can instead move up to where God is. We can  lift our gazes up and away from the person holding the tug a war rope.  We can begin  the  process of Objective  Observation...seeing ourselves as the Witness...observing the psyche and the form struggling in this game it doesn't have to struggle in. We can begin to observe how distracted we have been, looking at and resisting throughout  this drama. And though we will still feel the pull of it for some time, we can make the conscious choice to look away from "me", to look upward and behind us as we settle into the Seat of Conscious Awareness. 

We practice becoming awareness once again.  We practice relaxing instead of resisting what Life is unfolding in front of us.  We will still have internal reactions with what we deem as pleasant and unpleasant.  We will still feel a mixture of different emotions and have a mixture of different thoughts...but instead of feeling the urge to pull back and away as we tighten our grip...or feel ourselves  being pulled down into the mud because of them...we just watch them from a distance. We drop our end of the rope and the struggle eventually ends.

 Be willing to not know yourself  as you know yourself now, so you can know who you really are.

Then as we settle here, in awareness, we begin to make awareness itself our object of consciousness.  We become aware that we are aware. We become aware of Self as awareness.  If God is awareness then, we must be pieces of God? With our focus here, instead of on the  resistant "me", Singer tells us, we naturally get pulled upward away from the tug of war pit...away from our objects of consciousness. We move up to God. 

We merge back into the ocean of consciousness, back into the quantum field, back into the spaciousness and back into the omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient nature of who we really are. We live from here. We are free.

Nothing that you are doing here has any meaning, except for your liberation. Use everything to go to God.

All is well! 

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe. (December 10,2023) The Journey from Finite to Infinite https://tou.org/talks/

 

Happiness is an Inside Game. Stay Open

 All happiness that comes through the senses will, eventually, bring pain. All enjoyment will make us thirst for more, and that brings pain as its result...Vivekananda, pg 126

Happiness is an inside game! Making it an outside one brings pain. 

Even if what we are experiencing out there is pleasant, and we are opening up to experience a little happiness inside in response to it...the outer world person, event, or situation is not making us happy. The happiness is already inside us, in that flow of energy that is a part of who we really are.  Yet, if we believe something outside us is the cause of our happiness...we will soon be looking for "more" out there to keep the happiness going. This clinging and constant seeking will bring pain. Why? Because Life will never be able to meet all our expectations of how it should be to make or keep us happy.  It is an inside game.  Not an outside one! 

The alternative?

Simply stay open regardless if life is dropping pleasant things at your feet that meet your expectations or if it is bringing unpleasant things that don't match, leaving you uncomfortable inside. Just stay open to the energy flow inside.

Stay open to the natural flow of who you are. 

All is well! 

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe (December 7, 2023) Learning to Unblock Your Natural Energy Flow. https://tou.org/talks/

Swami Vivekananda (n.d.) The completer Works of Swami Vivekananda. Kindle Edition 

The Receptacle of Works

  Yogis regard the sum total of the impressions, good or evil, as pain bearing obstructions; they obstruct the way to freedom of the Soul. 

Vivekananda , page 126

What is the receptacle of works?  Vivekananda tells us that it is the sum total of our samskaras, and Singer tells us that is our psyches. It is all we have stored inside us from past experiences. We then  either open or close to an outside event or the possibility of one based on what we have learned about these experiences.  They become stimuli that leads to a conditioned response. 

Yoga, Singer reminds us,  is all about energy. Everything is energy...what we are is energy. The trouble is the energy is blocked becasue of this opening and closing that we do.  It is us, not Life, that is stripping us of the higher energy experience of living; it is not Life that is doing the closing and the opening.  We are shutting ourselves off from the natural flow of happiness, joy, creativity, peace, compassion, love and bliss which is already in us. 

We need to stay open, beyond the receptacle of works knowing we are that higher consciousness that is observing it...we are not it. We are SAt Chit Ananda: Eternal Conscious Bliss.

All is well

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe. (December 7, 2023) Learning to Unblock Your Natural Energy Flow. https://tou.org/talks/

The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda (n.d.) Kindle Edition

Getting to the Root

 The Chitta-Vrittis, the mind -waves, which are gross, we can appreciate and feel; they can be more easily controlled, but what about the finer instincts? How can they be controlled? When I am angry, my whole mind becomes a huge wave of anger. I feel it, see it, handle it, can fight with it; but I shall not succeed perfectly in the fight until I can get down below to its causes....

...I thought, "I am going to be angry". Anger was one thing, and I was another; but when I became angry, I was anger.  These feelings have to be controlled in the germ, the root, in their fine forms, before even we have become conscious that they are acting on us.

With the vast majority of mankind the fine states of these passions are not even known- thestates in which they emerge from subconsciousness. When a bubble is rising from the bottom of the lake, we do not see it, nor even when it is nearly come to the surface; it is only when it bursts and makes a ripple that we know it is there...

until you can get hold of them before they become gross, there is no hope of conquering any passion perfectly. To control our passions we have to control them at their very roots; then alone shall we be able to burn out their very seeds....

As fried seeds thrown into the ground will never come up, so these passions will never arise.

Swami Vivekananda on  Patanjali's Yoga Sutra 9, Book  2