Spot It? Removing Detail to See You Got It

 If you spot it, you got it!

?

I am coming back to this post which I will do several times to step by step remove  "story" from my being and feeling experience.  I am judging and percieving an injustice, assuming that I am a victim of an unfair assumption that affects not only me but others around me. I am also  feeling shocked, dismayed, "slighted", angry, upset, untrusting of a system  because of this story I relayed here. It is the drama I am reacting to and attached to.  So I am going to start removing it to see what happens. 

Fifth time:

If you spot it, you got it.  Good little axiom to live more clearly by, isn't it. So I spot something and I wonder what exactly it is that I got besides a good dose of stress induced reactivity. 

 I recently came across something that triggered a perception and judgment in me about someone . I perceived that what I found  represented  an "ego" reaction  on behalf of  this "other" who I judged as being in a semi-unconscious state, someone who I assumed felt threatened  or resentful about my expressed concerns.  A gut reaction I had weeks before was validated  and  I found myself   quite shocked, angered and upset over it.  I found myself pulled out of the present moment and back into the past...remembering painful, "unpleasnat" things. I felt very  unsettled by this judgment and perception of another and a situation. 

Even more unsettling was the axiom above. If you spot it, you got it.  If I recognize this ego reactivity in another , am I really seeing it within myself? 

I spotted reactive ego in another, that means my ego is still very active and reactive.   If I recognize chaos outside me, there must be chaos inside me.  If I spot someone's need to be right , I must have a deep, pathological  desire to be right. If I spot someone making assumptions about me, I must be making them about others. If I spot someone overly  attached to conviction, I must be too attached to conviction.  If I spot someone with an ego that is inflamed enough to be threatened, I must have an ego feeling threatened. On and on it went. Hmmm!

I spot it...I got it!

My clinging to detail , drama and story is just an indication of how involved ego is in this little situation. It wants to rationalize its reactivity The more I remove  the details, however, going from specifics to generality, the more I see what isn't important. The external story is not as important as what is going on within me. 

Besides,  I cannot control other people outside me.  I cannot control the world around me.  The only thing I can control here is my mind  by simply recognizing what it is doing.  

What a wonderful learning opportunity this is that presented itself to me with this experience. It is reminding me of my need to deal with my own reactivity. The reactivity of others is inconsequential. 

All is well