Surrender is not weakness, There is great strength in it. Only a surrendered person has spiritual power.
Eckhart Tolle ( The Power of Now, page 83)
Turning the Other Cheek
What does it look like, in the practical sense, to turn the other cheek?
Of course the image of literally turning the left cheek toward a violent offender comes to mind but it is much deeper than that. I don't think that passage was meant as literally as we often take it. Only the highly evolved would offer both sides of their being...their whole being.... in a real physical confrontation with a so called "enemy" or "evil doer". Few of us are that evolved. I certainly, am not.
Can you picture yourself, in the midst of a violent attack against you, bowing your head with hands in prayer position saying "Namaste" or "peace be with you" to your offender while they whacked you across the head? Probably not? Nor are you expected too.
In the real world sense, I believe, turning the other cheek refers to an opening up and an acceptance of what is. It is a putting down of our shields and our weapons that we have been using to resist life with or using to defend this insignificant idea of self with. How better could Christ exemplify the perfection in that letting go than by comparing it to a turning of a cheek?
Few of us will reach that level of evolving in this life time...but we will encounter many, many opportunities where we can practice allowing that which is valueless to be exposed for potential destruction, where we can practice putting away our need to resist and attack what is, and where we can practice surrendering to what life has to offer openly with our full beings.
Practicing
We can practice this in our relations with others and in our response to any life circumstances that seem to be "attacking" us.
Each moment offers us a chance to learn. Some impatient driver, for example, lays on the horn behind you because you hesitated to pull out into an intersection. What would you be inclined to do? Most of us would "react" in a less than Christ-like way, right? We would possibly roll down the window and mouth or hand gesture some obscenity to alert the other driver that we are defending ourselves and fighting back. This is not turning the other cheek, this is resisting and putting ourselves in attack and defense mode to either prevent damage or repair damage to this flimsy shield of "me" we wear.
Say what, crazy lady?
We are always automatically defending and attacking on behalf of this idea of "me". In the above example, this idea we have of ourselves as a 'good driver" is being threatened by the reaction of the person behind us. We fear!
"If this small section of who I believe is me gets damaged, than maybe my whole sense of "me" will be damaged. If I no longer have this idea of me, what will I have? What will I be? A nobody?"
Just that possibility makes us feel so uncomfortable. We react, often so quickly we are not even aware we are doing it. We have quickly judged the blowing of the horn a bad thing, and the person that is blowing it, an enemy or evil doer. We are at war.
Affirming, defending and repairing "little me"
So instinctively and often with lightening speed we retaliate in an attempt to affirm, defend or repair this idea of self we have. That is what ego does. Ego doesn't want us turning the other cheek. It wants us defending and attacking for everything it stands for...which ironically often does not serve us or anyone else.
An Opportunity to Learn in Relationships
We are so identified with this sense of self, of "little me", "my and mine", that we defend and attack for it in almost every relationship we have. We are doing this with the people we live with, work with, befriend, date or meet in passing. As long as they help us affirm our egoic "little mes' the relations we have with them will be smooth.
If someone, however, "attacks" our beliefs, our life styles, our nationality, our actions, however innocently...we feel threatened, don't we? Just like we would feel threatened if they were physically attacking our bodies. By all means if that were the case and someone was coming at us to cause physical harm or take our lives away we need to defend and even possibly attack. But why do we attack and defend so viciously when someone tells us our "beliefs are wrong", the way we look is wrong, our work is wrong, our choices are wrong, the way we look is wrong or our thinking/feeling is wrong? We do this not only personally but collectively. And this "feeling threatened" is often the cause of war.
Special , loving relationships also offer plenty of opportunity for practice. They seem so great and conflict free until our loved one innocently attacks this idea of who we are with, "Oh My God! You are so messy!" or "Why do you always do that thing with your mouth? It is so annoying." Man do we get defensive and scrappy! And if they say or do something that implies that we are not special enough or the source of their pain...we counter attack with a vengeance. Even our loved ones can become enemies or evil doers pretty quick, can't they?
Life as the Enemy
And Life can also be seen as the enemy or evil doer. When things don't work out the way we want them to, we often feel attacked by Life, don't we? We certainly do not offer it our other cheek to beat upon. We resist what is handed to us and "struggle" and "fight" against it. If circumstance takes away something we use to maintain that sense of self with, like our appearance, our jobs, our belongings, our health ...we fear ...and once again go on a mission to affirm, defend and repair who we think we are.
I have done that in my own life and continue to do so. I often feel attacked by the cartload of circumstances that seem to have landed on my lap from out of the blue. I am like wonder woman crossing my arms in front of me to deflect each bullet coming my way. Of course, I have no golden bracelets ( if I did I would sell them to pay the bills lol) and I am no superhero. Defending against Life's bullets is absolutely exhausting and I get hit by more than I deflect!
What are we defending?
What the heck am I defending anyway? This unrealistic idea I have of me as a good mom who can fix every one's problems? This idea I had of me as a successful professional? This idea I had of me as an extremely active and physically fit individual? What about me as a financially independent woman? A well respected member of the community? There are so many gaping holes in this image now it offers me nothing anymore.
Am I lost without this image? Am I invisible or nobody?
No..."I am" still here but "me" isn't as much as it used to be.
What I was trying so hard to defend was an illusion of me, an image that was not who I am. It is not worth defending. So why don't I just hand what is left of it over to my would be attackers and let them have it? What would happen if I did that? If we all did that?
If there is truly nothing that you can do to change your here and now, and you can't remove yourself from the situation, then accept your here and now by dropping all inner resistance. The false, unhappy self that loves feeling miserable, resentful, or sorry for itself can then no longer survive. This is called surrender. ( Tolle, page 83)
The Gift of Surrender
If we would surrender graciously, we would realize that what we are protecting is just our "psychological form identity" (Eckhart Tolle, Omega 6)... not anything of truth or value. It is merely an ego concept created in the mind and not substantial or worth defending.
We would realize as this image got bopped around and torn apart, as I was fortunate enough to experience, that it never was who we are. Who we are is much deeper and lies peacefully , undisturbed beneath all that idea we have of self. Who we really are is much more than a fragile image and It cannot be hurt, offended, harmed in anyway. We would find a certain peace and mental freedom in discovering that.
Without a need to defend, we would look at our attackers, be they Life or the person bonking the horn behind us ...and not see an enemy or an evildoer. We would simply see someone lost in their own ego or Life doing what Life is here to do. We would realize that we are all in the same boat and would pray for that person's liberation as we pray for our own. We would see the teacher before us and honor them as such.
Without this heavy armour of "little me", we all so ineffectively wear, we are going to feel lighter, freer and more alive.
Without resistance, by offering our entire being through turning the other cheek, we are going to put aside the valueless for the valuable. We are going to finally be open and accepting of all that Life has in store for us.
We will find our strength in surrender. We will embrace our spiritual power.
Hmmm! Well that is the way I see it but then again, what do I know?
All is well.
Eckhart Tolle ( March 2016) Omega 6 .Namaste Publishing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zcurl7QUCw
Eckhart Tolle ( 2004) The Power of Now. Novato: Namaste Publishing
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