Roving Reporter

Yesterday I wrote about the Steps to Waking UP.

What those steps fail to mention, is that on the road to recovery there are lots of obstacles to overcome.  The further down the steps we get, the more ego mind acts up: temper tantrums; mind attacks; resistance barriers galore to get through.  Just when we think we"got it"...the mind throws its punches and its lassos around us to knock us down and pull us back in to its recesses...as the Witness, the Observer...just watches...untouched and unblemished  by these ego assaults.

Roving Reporter

My mind has been so active in the last 48 hours, physical fatigue and menopausal hormone fluctuations adding to its bizarre reasoning for such attacks. Between the moments I am lost in the smoke of artillery fire, I see the battles going on in my head and like a war reporter I am standing on the sidelines reporting back to someone or something what I am seeing. At least, I am reporting, I exclaim to myself.  I am seeing it...I am recognizing it.  That is a very big step!!!!

But....I am still "reporting," using words and ideas and mental constructs to explain what doesn't need to be explained. When we are "explaining" anything we are not in presence. Presence is something that cannot be explained only experienced. If we are "reporting" we are not experiencing. 

We want to be in that stillness we are discovering, more and more...we want to stay with it for as long as we can.  As soon as the roving reporter is spotted prowling around... we can know we are out of it.  Well not out of it...It is always there...we are just in front of it, obstructing our ability to experience what is there and always will be there beneath this crazy activity of our minds.This is a good little observation  tip to remember and something Mooji uses in his "self-inquiry".

Self Inquiry

We have to ask ourselves at those times, "  Who is doing the reporting?To whom are we reporting?"  When we manage to see that it is ego mind, that which wants to keep us from experiencing presence, that is reporting and we know at point how mixed up in its perceptions ego is then we can become less threatened. And though it thinks it is reporting back to home base...it isn't.  The Observer already  sees everything but does not pay heed to our mental battles as anything significant.  Ego is really just reporting back to itself.

Realizing this brings us back to the recognition that there is the "little self" constantly on the go, threatened by our discovery of Self...and doing whatever it can to pull us back.  We also recognize the greater Self in the background waiting patiently  for us to come to it...in "quiet" with no need for thought or narration. Our reports and what we are reporting mean nothing to it.  We are not going to win any awards for our bravery and our skill of observation of what It considers insignificant.  We can only appease ego that way.

So as long as we are reporting, we are not experiencing the stillness and the emptiness of who we really are.  We are still somehow attached to the wars of this world and our minds. There is a better way.

All is well.