Safety or Love?

You will identify with what you think will make you safe.
-ACIM-W-5.What is the Body?

Do you agree with that?

Do we humans tend to identify with whatever will make us safe?

Do we identify with certain countries with specific borders because we feel the border will keep us safe from other countries?

Within those countries do we stick with specific groups, political affiliations, races, genders, or religions for protection? Do we fear we will be at the mercy of every danger (including isolation) if we don't? 

Do we stick to ideologies and beliefs because they somehow offer comfort and security?  Do we fear that we will be reduced to nothing if we don't?  We will lose who we are?

Do we Identify with the body?

Do we identify with the body because we assume it somehow keeps us safe? Do we see the skin that surrounds us, (which is often called the first line of defense in the Anatomy world), a protective border between us and everything else?

Do we revere allopathic medicine and all its ideologies because we  assume it will keep our bodies safe?  Do we fear our bodies will disintegrate and get diseased or fall a part if we don't? Therefore so will we?

Do we buy all the gadgets that keep the body safe: safety restraints, locks, alarms, immunizations, armed weapons etc,  because we identify with a belief system that says the body is always at risk and we are the body so we are  always at risk?

Do we identify with the notion that the bodies we have determine if we are victors or prey? Murderers or victims? Dead or alive?

Do we see ourselves as these piles of flesh and only that? 

No wonder why we are afraid!

Do we live in fear?

Are our identifications, the ideas we have of ourselves, generated by fear? Seriously...is that the case?Is it fear that drives the body into its pursuits or is it  love?

Is it love that puts up fences and walls, that attacks or defends, that separates and isolates?  Of course not.  It is fear.  The body we identify with is used  by fear, is motivated by fear and is driven by fear. Why? Because we identify with ego's purpose for the body and not what it was truly meant for. We identify with lies.

Made to be fearful, must the body serve the purpose given it.  But we can change the purpose that the body will obey by changing what we think that it is for. ACIM-W-5. What is the Body?: 3:4-5

Is there another way?

The body will do what we ask of it...Its purpose is whatever  we assume it to be for.  If we listen to the ego lies  and see it as vehicle of separation, we will live in fear.  If, however, we see it for what it is really for...a vehicle of Love... we will no longer be imprisoned by it, we will no longer live in fear.

Your safety lies in truth, and not in lies.  Love is your safety.  Fear does not exists.  Identify with love, and you are safe.  Identify with love, and you are home.  Identify with love and find your Self. ACIM-W-5. What is the Body?: 5:3-8

All is well in my world.

Worrying about problems?

If you can solve your problem, then what is the need for worrying?  If you cannot solve it, what is the use of worrying?
-Shantideva (8th century Indian Buddhist scholar) (https://www.quotes.net/quote/21508)


Do you have a tendency to worry?

 I know that in my own personal life I still have a tendency to worry.  No matter how evolved I become or how I realize the senseless nature of it...I still worry.  Someone once tried to console me by telling me that it was a mothers 'perogative ' to worry.  I think it is a mother's curse to do so.  :)

Worry as far as I am concerned...is a senseless and damaging emotion to get caught up in.

Do you know where the word comes from? 

Worry comes from the word 'wirion'.  In the 14th century, that word translated to refer to what a wild animal might do to a human being: bite, tear into the throat thusly strangling or choking.  Pretty gruesome eh?  The German translation of its cousin 'wurgon', meant to strangle. Worry, then, comes,from a very violent connotation.  Its literal meaning has tamed down quite a bit over the centuries but it still is a nasty word with a nasty experience to offer.

As dramatic as the origin of the word is...it carries some subtle references into our understanding of the word and the world today.

'Worry' is pretty violent on the mind, isn't it?  Like a wild animal out of control and let loose by ego it can bite into our psyches ripping away peace and strangling our life energy away, can't it?  It can literally leave one fighting for breath or choking on a future anticipation of negative outcome.

Worry isn't nice!

Does it serve a purpose?  For the ego it does...keeps us out of the present moment and focused on some disaster in the probable  future. It keeps us where ego wants us...in our minds.

To the real Self...it serves no purpose.  No amount of worry has the power to change the outcome of an event.

But that is why we tend to worry, isn't it?  We have this idea that it will make things right for us...if we worry hard enough somehow we will stop something bad from happening.  How bizarre is that.?

Worry serves the ego by wasting a valuable connection to the moment...it does no good to Self.

Still, we worry.

I love the sage advice shared by the Dali Llama in the link listed below...and from an 8 th century Buddhist monk who truly understood the senseless nature of worry. If we can solve a so called 'problem' or change what appears to be a problematic situation, we do not need to worry, do we?  If we can't change it with worry, why waste time worrying? 

Watch the eyes and smile on the Dali Llama as he speaks...a man who lost so much yet remains so peaceful and calm.  Does he look worried?

Maybe if we truly get it...that worry is senseless...we will be more likely to say to ego when it sends it our way..."No thanks!" or better still maybe we will be able to see the playful pup within the beast and tame it and play with it before we send it home.

All is well in my world.

References

Online Etymology Dictionary: worry https://www.etymonline.com/word/worry

The Positive Encourager https://www.thepositiveencourager.global/the-dalai-lama-being-calm-in-the-face-of-adversity/

Jane Goodall's Forest

From my perspective, I absolutely believe in a greater spiritual power, far greater than I am, from which I derived strength in moments of sadness and fear. That's what I believe, and it was very, very strong in the Forest.

-Jane Goodall (https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/jane_goodall)

I watched the documentary on Netflix last evening called "Jane". What an amazing film and what an amazing human being. For a British  woman of 'gentle class' to forge off into the jungles of Africa in the 1950's was an extraordinary thing by itself but to accomplish what she did was even more so.  To see how she 'fit in 'there was the most awe inspiring thing for me though.  It was like she was 'home' living a life long dream she manifested. She lived fully!  And with great faith, compassion, and patience she exuded.  

Like me, she seemed to find such peace amongst animals and embraced her solitude just as much as she embraced nature.  All pics of her in the footage showed this woman with the most eloquent peaceful calm. She seemed to be patiently watching, observing life and so in the moment! She was very spiritual. It filled me with a certain longing, maybe, for what she had?

I often thought about doing something like that...devoting my life to animals or people who needed me or what I had to offer.  I secretly longed/long to be surrounded by nature and free of all these social scripts this ego based society demands of us.  I am somewhat 'uncomfortable' and 'out of place' in this world. How freeing and life fulfilling it would be to live like she did?  I long for Jane Goodall's "Forest".

What I realize, however, is that the forest is different for everybody. It doesn't have to be in Gombe...it can be in your very home.  The populations we seek to understand, learn from and help are sometimes Chimpanzees, sometimes human beings and sometimes something else. And we can all be a little more like she without going anywhere. This peace she seemed to express was in her anyway...she brought it with her to Africa...that is why, maybe, she was able to realize her dream...because she exuded this peaceful calm. She had faith.

Anyway...I admire this woman (from what was shared in this documentary).  I admire what she has done for the planet. I admire the way she lived/lives. Maybe there is something to learn from it that goes beyond the understanding of the similarities between Chimpanzee and human social behaviours. Maybe Jane Goodall's story  could teach us all how to live.

All is well.

References

"Jane"(2017)...on Netflix (sorry...not appropriate citation)

.

Alignment with Grace

Shall we continue to allow God's grace to shine in unawareness, while the toys and trinkets of the world are sought instead?
-ACIM-W-258:1:3

Always the Philosopher


Hmm!  Back at it with my philosophizing and my attempting to put into words and mental concepts all I am learning and feeling.  I mean I can put the intellectually received stuff into some form of understandable word form but the 'experience'...man that is too overwhelming to even describe.  :)

I wake up at night in a sweat...thinking about all the worldly things I appear to have on my plate...literally worried sick about my kids, feeling every bump and bruise as if it were my own and pulled by  this maternal drive to 'kiss it all better". The financial situation is another story all together and on top of that I am forced to listen to my body moan and complain about what I put it through that day.  At those moments I am very much "in the world'...and not aware of God's grace.

The Asking

I have  the same questions  going through my mind as  I lay awake.  "Why?  And how do I end it...how do I find peace in it?  How do I find peace so I don't go completely bonkers or get sicker?

I no longer ask the Universe to give me better situations, to change the circumstances of my life, to place a big bag of money on my lap or to give me all the answers that will make my kids happy and healthy...I now know that isn't the answer to any of this Dukka I (my little I)  am experiencing. I know it isn't the answer to anything.  Nothing in this world holds the answer.  No toys or trinkets sought after will ever be enough.

I ask for one thing.  I ask for the freedom that will come in awareness of how to find and maintain peace in my life so I can shine it on the world. In not so many words or visualizations... I ask for awareness of God's grace. The Grace is there...it has never left me...but I know that somehow I am not aligned with it...only because I have closed my eyes to it.  Only because I forgot who I was.  I am as Wayne Dyer used to say, "A glass of God" when God is the ocean.  I want to be poured back into the ocean.  There I will find my balance and the peace I long for.  I will also be able to create better situations for myself and the ones I love but that is just an added perk.

Wayne Dyer also speaks to this balance and alignment with God's grace in this little video snippet I cam across this morning:
If you want to be in balance, 'be' in balance, then your habits have to start matching up with your desires in everything...in everything that  you do.  And it is just a simple matter of deciding to do it....in all of your thoughts, any thought that is not aligned.

Hmm!  Back to changing our thoughts and changing our reality .  Change the thoughts from those that lead us into a fruitless seeking in the physical world for toys and trinkets and back to thoughts of who we really are. Change the thoughts that lead us away from God back to ones that remind us of the grace that is always there.

What could we seek but our Identity. ACIM-W-258:2:4

  It is also funny to realize how I am coping now in this stage of my life.  When things get tough I no longer rush out 'to do', I am not compelled to analyze and fix, I don't complain (well at least not as much as I used to lol), I don't drink or do drugs, ....I just come here.  Isn't that something?  I do not know why but I am drawn here. Putting my words down here  seems to make it all okay. I seem to find what I am looking for here. Through this 'inspired action' I find lovely glimpses of Self and peace.

All is well in my world.



References:

ACIM (of course)

This Wayne Dyer video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAhUUHnq2Ok

On Being Honest and Authentic

The more honest and authentic we are, the more deeply we go into the mystery of our own being...
- Adyashanti (https://quotefancy.com/quote/1710637/Adyashanti-The-more-honest-and-authentic-we-are-the-more-deeply-we-go-into-the-mystery-of)

Sometimes I read what I write and I say to myself, "Man!  Is that really me?  Can't be.  I don't write like that...I don't talk like that...I don't think like that...at least not out loud or in public, do I?  That's not like me to pray in front of others or to share such soul intimate stuff, is it? "

And for a moment...just a moment I will find myself caring what people think...worried about how it will make 'me' look.  I slip back into ego and its need to preserve this 'idea of me' I and the world created. This idea of me does not yet embrace the whole of me or the real authentic me and it is quite sure the world won't either...it is superficial like most egos. So I slip back into lower end thinking & feeling  and wonder if I said too much, exposed too much. I doubt.

Is it safe to be this honest?

Part of me wants to go back and take every intimate piece off the site and tuck it away somewhere in the sock drawer of 'saved drafts'. This same ego part of me, that also likes to share the written word,  will then justify itself..."Well no one reads this anyway... it really isn't public.  So it is safe to write and speak like this here but nowhere else okay? Get it out of your system!"

Then I realize that this is all ego talking. I see how dependent on 'ideas of me' the ego is.  How it backs the little me and not the 'deeper I' that so wants to come out.  The ego wants and needs that sense of belonging it gets from other egos so it is afraid to step on toes or alienate itself by being different.  The deeper I doesn't need it.  The deeper I needs to express Itself fully and honestly...otherwise it feels all contracted up.

The deeper I wrote that yesterday and meant every word of it.  It wants Its freedom from the prison of 'little me's' mind. It wants to release others too. In order to do that I have to be honest don't I? I have to be willing to risk rejection and scorn, ridicule and contempt.  "I have to me!' lol

Man!  I just want a little peace in my life. I am so tired of experiencing life as 'a victim of circumstances' and being controlled by the thoughts in my head.  I want to get out of that prison!  Don't you? 

I assume you want to be happy too...that you want peace too. (Even if you are not consciously aware of that need at this point lol). Don't you want to go home to that mental space where all is calm and peaceful no matter what is going on around It?

Anyway...I am no expert, no Guru, no enlightened master...just another person seeing the light through the crack and squeezing my way through it.  If I get through...it would only be the human thing to do to go back and show others the way through too, wouldn't it?

That is what this blog is all about, I guess.  It is what I am about now too.  Weird when I think about it but true. If I am truly honest with myself and others, this is where I am at in my life, like it or not.

All is well in my world.

Wings of Freedom

 

I bow my head in reverence for the Life

that is breathed through me

with every imperfect breath I take

and I ask but for one thing today….

Freedom.

 

I ask that the chains that hold me down

to this world I created in my weary mind…

 be unshackled.

I long to hear

the sound of heavy, rusty thoughts falling away

from exhausted  limbs that

 have  been restrained for much too long,

 

I pray for awareness of the strength

that exists inside me

so that I can stand on these trembling appendages

and stretch my being toward the light

that pours in trickles from my prison window.

Allow it to dry the open sores on my wrists

Allow it to heal my flesh,

Allow it to heal this that hides

what I am.

 

Let me shake off the heavy dust of my imprisonment

so that these limbs can become

 

what they were always meant to be

 …. wings

of glorious colour and power.

Let me feel them stretch and flutter

as they realize their Source.

Let them  carry this version I call 'me'

 

through this tiny  window of awakening

and into the bright world of Your abundant Light

And Your eternal Love.

 

 

 

Then give me the key, I plea

so that I can slip through the small cracks

that lead into the dreary cells of others,

offering hope,

glimpses of colour and light

and eventually freedom.

Let me help to release

 

the world from its prison

Father

as my brother will do for me.

 

Set me free, I pray.

 

-Dale-Lyn, September, 2018

Getting Beyond Egoic Identification

Can you sense the very presence that is the essence of who you are? And it has no form...it is just spacious awareness. And that is an amazing thing...to know your Self as spacious awareness.  That frees you from believing that your personal history is who you are.  
-Eckhart Tolle

In this wonderful lecture/sat sang...Eckhart Tolle describes many steps that can lead us away from ego identification to the Self...in the moment/the now. Though he may not have intended to use steps...I heard several steps and this is what I heard.  (Yep...I heard some alliteration...I heard it in "a"s lol):

1.  Be Aware: Just stop what you are doing and look around you.
2. Acknowledge what you are seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting or touching.
3. Allow the moment to be what it is.
4. Appreciate it...appreciate the changes, the beauty or the contrast
5. Ask: Is this what I am sensing all there is of this moment/? This now?
6. Slip a bit away from sensual perception to the alert presence beneath it.
7. Revel in the aliveness that can be experienced without these superficial senses ( for example: just close your eyes and feel the life in your hands, in your feet, in your entire body)
8. Shift your attention more and more away from the superficial to what lay beneath it
9. Use this as an anchor to hold you in presence when ego sends its thoughts your way to pull you from this alert presence.  (And it will)
10. Answer the question: Who or what is aware of my awareness?
11. Accept the spaciousness between the thoughts
12. Affirm that this is who and what you are: Spacious awareness aware of Itself.

Well that is what I got from it.  All is well in my world!

 

Not that we are old goats lol...I chose this picture and shot it because when this goat  looked at me it was like he/she knew who he was.  It kind of  looks like he is smiling with that confidence, doesn't it?

 

References:

Lion Motivation  (March, 2018) Eckhart Tolle- The Journey into Now. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FR_MY_Oy8Uw

(Please note: Since this did not come from the Eckhart Tolle TV site...I am not sure if I am citing it correctly or if I even have the right to use it here? At the same time...I need to cite where I got my information. No offense intended.)

Stepping Off the Roller Coaster

You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.- Eckhart Tolle (Stillness Speaks)


Are you getting what I have been trying to communicate in the last 4-5 blog entries?  More importantly, am I getting it lol?

The whole premise behind all this talk about mind, ego thoughts and complaining as well as effortless effort is that we really are not what we think or what we do, are we?  The whole premise behind everything I write lately is that we are not who we think we are. 

We have confused ourselves (or the Self) with ideas we have of ourselves. These ideas are conditioned in us, taught by well meaning others at an early age, and generated from centuries of ego confusion. We have come up with 'ideas' and 'beliefs ' about who we are that get stored in our subconscious mind as a pseudo truth we habitually act upon.

Following the crowd that subscribes to these beliefs, we jump up onto a roller coaster that takes us up and down and all around...exciting us for a bit but terrifying us for most of the ride.  Even in those rare moments of calm when we can sigh a breath of relief we have memories of what we left behind and  anticipate the next up and the next down. So we cling with all our might to whatever ego tells us we have to hold on to. There is little peace on this ride, is there?

The thing is...it is all in our minds!

Within us, however, despite all the screaming and the ups and downs is also this quiet yearning for peace...for stillness...for more.  Even though ego has us strapped in pretty tight...we somehow know that this is just a ride we can get off of anytime.

Who we really are is on the ground beyond the mental ride, beyond the ego...beyond all the thinking that steers us from It.

What awaits us on the ground is peace, stability,  joy.... Love. Our Father, God, Life, the Universe...(however you perceive the Divine Nature) calls us from the ground, waits for us to get off and to come home.

Step off the ride and spend the day with Your Father; Your Self in perfect peace.


                  This day I choose to spend in perfect peace. -ACIM-W-255

All is well in my world!

Greater than Your Mind: Wisdom from Mooji

When  you start to be free you will begin to see your mind is not kind....

The mind is going to come and try to confuse you and to sabotage this opportunity for Self discovery.

 

Don't let the mind give you a little bit-here and there.  It has you on rations.

You are too confused.  You are living like you are your mind.  You are not your mind!

Your life is greater than your mind.

You can be without your mind but your mind can not be without you.


You have to find something that is not coming and going.  That which is aware of the change and is not identified with it.  That one.  Find out this one.  This one is free.

 This is the power of an awakened being. Just their awareness is touching something inside you. They inspire your being to open up its wings inside you. And that is called awakening to presence.

All is well....


Reference

Mooji (March, 2015) You are here to Win Yourself Back. Mooji TV Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLz3w98moCg

Handling the Ego Thoughts

Today we let no ego thoughts direct our words or actions. When such thoughts occur, we quietly step back and look at them, and then we let them go. We do not want what they would bring with them.  And so we do not choose to keep them.
ACIM-W-254: 2:1-4

Wow!  That is the secret isn't it?  We just need to let the ego thoughts pass by without any identification or clinging to them.  We do not need to set up barriers of resistance, we do not need to deny them or struggle against them.  We just need to let them pass by.

Ego can be tricky...it manipulates and draws us in. It pretends to be on our side and it pretends to be us. So how do we recognize the ego thoughts so we can let them go?

You know they are ego thoughts when:

• They are full of judgment determining what is right or wrong, good or bad
• They  point outward for happiness...they tell you that this 'thing' outside you is what you need to be happy
• They pull you from the moment into the past or future
• They have familiar voices...like those of people you may  have known
• They point outward for blame... they tell you you  are a victim to something or someone. "It's not your fault!  It's theirs!"
• They are often stamped with "Urgent!  Respond Immediately!!!"
• They encourage you to protect yourself with defenses or to attack someone or something else for your own protection
• They are full of "I", "me" and "mine"
• They tell you how important it is to be 'right'
• They convince you you know more than you do
• They either redeem or shame
• They tell you you are 'special' or not 'special enough'
• They tell you in order to be 'special' you need to love and be loved by a 'special' few in 'special' relationships
• They are unpredictable and fickle...leaving you confused and 'unstable'...one moment happy, the next moment not
• They react to life circumstances
• They like to be shared with as many people as possible.  They want to be heard.
• They are full of drama and story
• They are full of complaint and grievance
• They snicker at any idea of you or others  being more than a mind or a body
• They are unkind to you or others
• They are numerous and repetitive
• They have a tendency to be negative
• They often push us to do, to numb
• They make promises of how things will be better 'when'
• They are determined and persistent
• They want to control you and others
• They are made of "should', "Gotta', 'Have-to", 'must'
• They are also made up of 'can't', 'always', 'never' and 'not good enough'
• They pretend to have power over you making you feel like you are 'stuck' and powerless to change them.
• They depend on your five senses to validate them
• They multiple quickly and spread malignantly
• They do not leave you peaceful for long, if at all.

So what do you do when you recognize a thought entering your mind as an ego thought?

• Still yourself
• Take a deep breath and focus on that breath 
• Simply call each out "Oh you are one of those ego thoughts  trying to pull me in again."
• Then  smile and say, "No thanks!  I don't want what you have to offer."
• Step back and let them pass by.
• Once they are subdued...your mind will quiet tremendously.
• Spend more time in silence...hearing what you really need to hear.

Let every voice but God's be still in me. -ACIM-W-254

All is well!

Catch Yourself Complaining

See if you can catch yourself complaining in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, even the weather.  To complain is always non acceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out you are in your power.  So change the situation by taking action or speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it.  All else is madness. -Eckhart Tolle (https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/969469-see-if-you-can-catch-yourself-complaining-in-either-speech)

All Else is Madness!

Finally...my daughter 'gets it!' She finally sees that focusing on all the negatives of her situation, complaining about it to herself and others...listening to ego tell her she is trapped in it...is simply madness.  It only makes her feel worse. 

After what she called a "horrible week" she finally accepts the fact that if she wants to feel better she has to think better and speak better about her situation. She sees that though things are not the way she would like them to be, they are what they are.  Complaining about them does more harm than good. Accepting them and trying to make the best of it is her next goal.

Wow! What a wonderful realization for an 18 year old to make. What a game changer!

The Madness of Complaining

When we find ourselves in unfavorable life situations we need to realize that the life situation only causes a bit of the discomfort we are experiencing,  if any.  Our reaction to it is responsible for most of our suffering. 

It is in our heads that we suffer.  We focus and think about all the negative things we got going on around us and we create this 'unconscious negative charge' that harms us much more than the situation could.  We voice it out loud...not to make change (that's different...that's proactive) ...but to complain and we sink down into the muck of our perception.

So what do we do?

• Catch yourself complaining. Listen to yourself explain the situation to someone else or catch the thoughts you are allowing to fester in your own mind. 
• Know the difference between complaining and trying to speak out and express in order to make change.  When it is a complaint...you will hear yourself listing a thousand reasons why you are stuck in the situation you are in and why any of the offered or self thought resolutions to your situation won't work.  When in a complaining frenzy, we actually resist help or any other suggestion to think differently.  When we express and speak out to make change, however...we are open to resolution and a different way of looking at the situation.
• Know that the complaint is a resistance to what is...The complaining provides a struggle that requires a lot of effort and energy and takes you absolutely no where but down!
• Accept the situation for what is...doesn't mean you have to like it; doesn't mean you have to stay in it.  Just accept it.
• Listen to your heart and the wisdom it provides
• Now make your choice: You have three choices...you can walk away from the situation; you can speak up against it or actively change it or you can just accept it for what it is and make the best of it.  The thing is you have the power to choose what you want to do!

All else is madness!

Oh another little trick you can try.  Try smiling a big goofy smile as you complain to yourself or other people.  You will see that it is almost next to impossible to do so without feeling a little less like complaining.  :)

All is well in my world.

Effortless Effort

If effort is needed by all means make some effort.  Or as my teacher used to say, 'effortless effort.'  Just don't mistake effort for struggle, for struggle is simply wasted effort.... The call of the heart never confines itself to the mind's ideas of whether effort is necessary or not. It follows the impulse  of silent intuition which is so much better aligned with what the moment dictates.-Adyashanti (https://www.facebook.com/adyashanti.org/posts/%E2%80%9Cif-effort-is-needed-then/479382369093604/)

What type of person are you: one who puts effort into Life or one who doesn't?

Do you feel the pressure to get things done?  Are you constantly planning what to do next?  Are you living by a mile long to do list?  Do you have your head down, your tongue out as you clench your jaws in determination to fix things, do, accomplish?  Do you subscribe to the axioms, "Don't pain no gain!" or "Just do it!" Do you believe pushing with   determined effort is the only way to have a meaningful life?

Or

Are you a couch potato...laying back with your feet up as you wait for Life to drop all its bounty on your lap? Does  your misconstrued version of "The Secret" and other teachings on manifesting fill you with relief..."Man...I don't have to do anything ...I just have to put my wishes out there and sit back with my arms open. I will get what I need."

Both and Neither

I often wondered which one of the above categories  I fell into.  I am often in the top description. When I say I am going to do something...I go all out without a break usually until it is done.  I work hard...I put my nose to the grind stone and regardless of symptoms I will do whatever I can to finish what I start.  This mind set has often got me into trouble.  I am great to have on a project or team...that is until I start collapsing all over the place and end up good to no one?

I also wonder if I belong to the second description. There are some things I do little of now...and will literally close my eyes to.  Housework. Blah!  It seems like just a repeated  waste of precious energy.  And now that I have stepped away from any semblance of being a productive member of society ...I feel very much like a "lazy"  couch potato at times.

I thought I was both a person who believed effort was the way to achieve and at the same time someone who was lazy and waiting for the universe to provide.  The thing is I am both...or neither...I am somewhere in between.  I am someone who subscribes to the idea of effortless effort. 

Effortless Effort

Effortless effort, according to many of the masters, is not a lack of action nor is it a struggle to do.   It does not require thoughts of action that are  loaded with should, have-tos and must, or "gotta get this done." It does not create worried tension over what to do next.  It is not  a doing that drains precious energy.

Effortless effort is action that is simply inspired action.  Action that stems from Grace and is filled with ease. Rather than being  born of conditioned beliefs and societal pressure to conform, it comes from a silent space within where all Wisdom flourishes.

I like to be doing that that feels right to the heart and to the soul...that serves me and the world in some way...that allows me to feel authentic and true. And I like to be still, and quiet in the moment.  I am learning to listen when I am still to the quiet voice of inspiration that leads me to certain action.  I prefer not to struggle or to waste any of the energy I have left...it is like gold to me. I  do not want to "waste my effort" any longer.

So I do but I do what flows from me with ease.  I do what brings joy and peace to me and the people I love.  I do what my heart calls me to do and I try to put struggle and  my minds ideas of what to do aside.

I want my life to be full of effortless effort.  What about you?

All is well in my world.

Take Me Home

You are the destination and the Journey.
-Mooji

Whoever brought me here, will have to take me home

All day I think about it, then at night I say it.
Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing?
I have no idea.
My soul is from elsewhere, I’m sure of that,
and I intend to end up there.

This drunkenness began in some other tavern.
When I get back around to that place,
I’ll be completely sober. Meanwhile,
I’m like a bird from another continent, sitting in this aviary.
The day is coming when I fly off,
but who is it now in my ear who hears my voice?
Who says words with my mouth?

Who looks out with my eyes? What is the soul?
I cannot stop asking.
If I could taste one sip of an answer,
I could break out of this prison for drunks.
I didn’t come here of my own accord, and I can’t leave that way.
Whoever brought me here, will have to take me home.

This poetry. I never know what I’m going to say.
I don’t plan it.
When I’m outside the saying of it,
I get very quiet and rarely speak at all.

 

By Rumi

(https://www.thehouseofyoga.com/magazine/whoever-brought-me-here-will-have-take-me-home-rumi)

Teaching to Learn/Learning to Teach

The one exclusive sign of thorough knowledge is the power of teaching.
-Aristotle (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/teacher)


Sigh!  Am I getting anywhere closer to helping others and myself understand this thing called Self? Am I getting any closer to peace and Truth? Or am I just spitting out and regurgitating a bunch of words I can't even swallow, let alone digest, out onto the page?

Sometimes I soooo get it!!!! I feel it in every inch of me and other times I look around and think "WTF(front door)!"  It is like I am waking up to find myself in some  advanced calculus class trying to explain some equation to the person next to me.  (If you knew how I struggled in basic math...you would see the symbolic reference of that example lol).  Who am I to attempt to teach someone else when I may not know?

Stuck in the Classroom.

 My peer is not giving me any indication what so ever if I am helping or just making it worse for them.  They are just staring blankly at me as I go on and on.  I am sure there are others behind me pointing fingers or snickering at my attempts. Who do I think I am?  I feel my face flush. I want to scrunch down real small and crawl out the door before anyone notices.  But when I try to get up, I can't.  It is like I am stuck in this seat, in this class doing what I am doing.

I can't see or hear one  teacher clearly...too many are coming in and out.  I need to  depend heavily on independent research to understand.  And though I hear everything they are saying, comprehend everything I am reading...feel it even, have I a right to explain it to someone else?  Why do I feel I need to do that?   Why?

Teaching to Learn/Learning to Teach

So that I understand?  Yes I teach so I learn.  I have always learned best that way. I do want to learn.  I also know that if buddy next to me learns...I learn.  We need to do this together.

Yet there is more to it.  I am compelled to teach for some reason I cannot even understand.  It is as if all the things I have done, all my experiences so far have led me here.  I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

Beyond the ego

I am not saying I want to be here teaching what I am teaching without any of the perks I used to get teaching: pay, some recognition and praise.  Now there is no stroking of the ego.

This is not at all what my ego prepped me to be doing in my fifth decade of life but here is where I am.  So what choice do I have. I better straighten up and listen harder.  I better keep my nose in the books so that I really get to know this stuff inside and out.  I better keep my eyes, ears, mind and heart open. Because whether  the dude next to me learns or not, I don't think I have any choice but to keep teaching, or keep explaining the little bit I am learning.   It is what it is!

What am I teaching anyway? About Self?  It is my job, everyone's job,  to teach who we really are?

My Self is beyond all the thoughts of holiness of which I now conceive.  Its shimmering and perfect purity is far more brilliant than is any light that I have ever looked upon.  It's love is limitless, with an intensity that holds all things within it, in the calm of quiet certainty.  It's strength comes not from burning impulses which move this world, but from the Boundless Love of God Himself.
-ACIM-W-252:1:1-4


All is well in my world.

Behind the Human Mind

What allows the human mind to see, think and enjoy this world?

 



"Know that when the eye looks into space it is the spirit of man that sees: the eye is only the organ of sight. When one says I feel this perfume', it is the spirit that feels: he uses the organ of smell.  When one says, 'I am speaking', it is the Spirit that speaks: the voice is the organ of speech. When one says, 'I am hearing', it is the Spirit that hears: the ear is the organ of hearing. And when one says, 'I think', it is the Spirit that thinks: the mind is the organ of thought. It is because of the light of the Spirit that the human mind can see, and think, and enjoy this world" 
-( An excerpt from Juan Mascaro's translation of the Chandogya Upanishads(1965, Penguin) as quoted in The Complete Yoga Book ( Hewitt, 1977, pg 487)

For what it is worth...I shot that in manual mode: f-5.3; 1/1250....ISO 100 at 220 mm.  It really doesn't make a lick of difference does it?  Not the greatest shot but I feel it.

The point is I see how shiny that hump backs dorsal area is, how the light just bounces off it; I can smell the salt water again; I can almost reach out and feel the sleek wetness of his skin. Why?  Not because of my senses, not because of my camera. Because of Spirit. 

It was Spirit that allowed me to experience this whale and it was Spirit that allowed me to capture it on camera and in my memory. The body and the camera are just organs that allow us to do this.

Spirit always stands still long enough for the photographer it has chosen.-Minor White

Reference

Hewitt, James.(1977) The Complete Yoga Book. New York: Schocken Books

The Fruits of Action

"You should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction...Those who are motivated only by the desire for the fruits of action are miserable, for they are constantly anxious about the results of what they do." Lord Krishna to Arjuna in the Gita:2:47-49 as translated and explained by Eknath Easwaran

Say what???????  You expect me to work and not get paid?

It would be pretty gracious of us to go to work for forty hours a week and not take a penny for it, wouldn't it?  Gracious and absolutely nuts!  But what Lord Krishna is telling Arjuna in this section of the Bhagavad Gita is that attachment to physical world reward in our obsessive need to do for the sake of "me" and "mine" will  lead to great disappointment. Excessive doing will not make us happy.  Selfish reward seeking will not make us happy, nor will the rewards the world offers us for such seeking and doing make us happy.

Huh?

That pay check that you seek, that social acceptance and or recognition, the things you can own because of your work...are the "fruits of your labor" ...but if you are working only for the attainment of that fruit and not the work itself you are ultimately going to find yourself miserable. Why?

These are lower mind pursuits (kama) and a result of ego motivation and control of the mind. They belong to the "I-ness' and the 'mine-ness' objectives we spoke about in previous entries. "I-ness' and "mine-ness' we know lead us away from the only true source of joy there is-the Self which is actually a union of all things (Yoga). Happiness is found within, not without.  Happiness is found in selflessness, both selfishness.

Are you saying I am selfish for getting paid and I should opt not to take a pay check?

Of course not!  You live and operate in a body in the physical world.  You need to take care of those physical world needs...basic survival, safety and security, a need to belong and to love, and eventually to strive for self actualization. (As you may have noticed, I listed all of Maslow's hierarchy needs with the exception of Esteem...still not sure about that one lol). In most cases you need a pay check to do that.

The thing is not to work only because of that pay check or that Esteem component of the pyramid. Do not make that the carrot that drives you forward.  Work for the sake of fulfilling your duty to Self which encompasses all of humanity. Definitely reap the rewards that come to you in what ever form they come but do not "strive " for them.  Strive for wisdom instead and let the material rewards be something you can take or you can leave behind.  Do not be attached to the need for these selfish and petty desires...do not live for them.  Establish a life of wisdom instead.

Arjuna: Tell me of those who live established in wisdom, ever aware of the Self, O Krishna.  How do they talk?  How sit? How move about?

Krishna: They live in wisdom who see themselves in all and all in them, who have renounced selfish desire and sense craving tormenting the heart.
Neither agitated by grief nor hankering over pleasure, they live free from lust and fear and anger.  Established in meditation, they are truly wise.  Fettered no more by selfish attachments, they are neither elated by good fortune nor depressed by bad. Such are the seers.
...
They are forever free who renounce all selfish desires and break away from the ego-cage of "I","me",and "mine" to be united with the Lord." (Gita:2:55-72)

Accept your pay check and the perks.  Reap the rewards with gratitude when they come your way but do not make them the purpose of your work or your duty. Make wisdom your goal with whatever you may 'do'.

 Should I become a renounciant?  

For a very few that is the answer...that is what they are called to do.  For most of us it isn't.  We have to live in this busy world.  The object is not to run away and escape it but to find our way within it...while realizing Self and living in wisdom. We need to remind ourselves that the body and personality is not who we really are.  We are so much more.  We live with that knowledge that the spirit in us is in everything and everyone...we honor and respect that thus living with peace and compassion (Metta-kindness as Buddhist tradition refers to it). We don't necessarily throw everything away...we just let go of our "need' for it  and our attachment to it.

If doing is so bad should I stop doing all together?So would it be better to stay home all day and just meditate so ego doesn't tempt me?

For some this works but for most of us...Definitely not.  " ...nor should you long for inaction." Our bodies and our minds are designed to move and to act.  It is natural! The problem is not with the action but the goals for our actions.

The motivation and potential consequence for each action we take is to be considered.  So many of us act blindly...not sure why we do what we do...just moving with the masses like a guppy in a school of fish.  We are lost in learned, conditioned and ego dominated habitual and often Self veiling  behaviours.

Stop long enough to know why you are doing what you are doing.  Ask if it fulfills you or takes you towards wisdom or further away. Is your doing an escape? Does it serve? Act mindfully, purposefully and with wisdom.  Make everything you do  inspired action rather than ego reaction.

So what is your story crazy lady?

I have been thinking a lot about action, about doing and not doing lately because I find myself in an ego world conundrum.  Life led me through a series of circumstances to this point where I can no longer be that guppy in a school of fish...my little fins ( or gills) don't seem to allow me to keep up though there is no one scientifically explaining why. :)

A lot of the fruits of my labour that I worked so hard to earn have thusly been swept away by the current...With that the second top layer of Maslow's pyramid has also been washed away.  I found myself at a crossroads.  After tuckering myself out trying to keep up with the rest of the school, to cling to some of these things that were floating away....I had to make a decision...keep swimming towards the physical world pursuits or go my own way.  I found myself stopping and considering that. 

I then made a decision based on inspired action. I left the school. My own way, I am realizing is the One way

I judged it all  as terribly unfair at first but now I see the absolute blessing in it. I realized the hard way that I can reach self actualization without the school, without the fruits of my actions, and without the ego/Esteem.  In fact, I will reach it faster. :) What I really want is not out there. It is in here.

Did you stop doing?

No...far from it.  Though I cannot maintain the high level of physicality I once took for granted, I can still do a lot.  My mind is still so engaged.  I am learning so many things, studying so many things, absorbing so many things.  I am taking courses like Yoga Teacher Training (the theory is a breeze...the physical component a little more challenging).  I am also studying  photography and learning anything I can about everything I can.

I have a list of 20 potential books to write and a series of potential articles.

I am no longer working at what I once worked at but I am working. I am still teaching. (Not for money). I feel I have a purpose and a duty that calls me here every morning whether I want to come or not lol.  And there are little to no "fruits of my action" here...no "I" ness or "mine-ness" rewards. I have little readership, little recognition, no pay and still I come because I know, in some strange way I cannot explain, that this is my work, my duty. It is purely selfless and beyond the little me.  (That's not true... ego is still around but ego is obviously not the reason I am here.) 

How are you going to survive in this physical world with no job, no income?

I haven't a clue lol!  I would be lying is I said that I am not at all worried.  I am. Ego is still clinging to me.  On top of my debts and monthly bills, I now have a daughter in university.  She is mostly taken care of so I feel so very grateful for that but I know I need some income :) There is, after all, that bottom layer of Maslow's pyramid to consider. :)

What I have learned from this section of the Gita though and from all I am learning in Yoga and my other spiritual seeking is that I don't have to sweat over what action to take, what to do next.  I don't have to be "constantly anxious about the results of what they do." I just  have to keep doing what I am doing, maybe meditate a bit more on it and then simply let life unfold   It is all good.

All is well in my world!

Life takes care of Life.
-Mooji

Life takes care of Life.  I know that but I woke up this morning asking:  Are you absolutely sure it does?  Because 'my' life is pretty screwed right now if it doesn't. 

I am feeling fear and guilt over my decision... a little anxious about the upcoming consequences.  It is like, "What have I done? And what do I do now?" 

What have I done?  I followed through with the inspired  action of letting go of something and trusting, falling backwards toward the outstretched arms of Life.   I catch myself asking in mid air..."Man...are those arms open?...Is Life going to catch me or is it too busy texting  someone else? Am I going to hit the ground with a bang?  Maybe I shouldn't have leapt when I did."

Well it is a little late now lol.  I am off the stage and in the air.

What do I do now?   Ego slips in to say..."Okay now that you made such a life altering decision...what are you going to do next?  What is the plan? What if you land with a thump...what's your back up plan?"

Jumping seemed like such a wonderful spirited soul inspired action, a trust venture but when ego steps in and  gets all technical and precise, I doubt. In this world of doing and a need for control, I am suddenly like a student asked a surprise question I wasn't prepared for.

 "Duh???  Ummm...I don't know", I answer because I don't know. I don't know what I am going to do.  Shouldn't I know that?

If Mooji's wisdom is true...I really do not need to fret over what to do next. I just need to trust that Life knows what it is doing and allow it to continue to unfold. It is unfolding and has been for a while. 

I was led here by all my life circumstances...from my past to my present state of health...I was led here.  I know that.  Leaping was the next logical step, wasn't it?  For my evolution anyway, if not for my ego's sense of security lol.

What it is unfolding into, I haven't a clue...I just know it is something amazing. How do I know that?  I don't know.  Ego certainly didn't tell me that, lol but Something within me did.  That something was Life, I believe. Life told me to jump and I did....knowing somewhere deep inside that Life takes care of Life.

It is all good.

The Quest for Happiness

This quest for happiness goes on endlessly because man is vainly searching outside for something he has lost and will never find if he continues his pursuits in the world of senses.
(Swami Vishnu-devananda, page 305)

An aha Moment

I had what one would refer to as an aha moment or at least something close to it yesterday.  I had that sense of 'break through' and it lead to a certain upping of my mood and a lot of relief from the heaviness I was carrying. The experience  really wasn't heartfelt or soulful in the beginning...it was very cerebral, in fact....but after the 'aha'  I felt it everywhere.

I was reading Swami Vishnu-devananda's The Complete Illustrated Book of Yoga and as I read the chapter on Self as Existence, Knowledge and Bliss it was like , "I get it!!!  I really get it!!! He was writing about pain and suffering and why man was on a constant never ending search for happiness and why instead of finding it...he suffers and feels miserable. Now I wrote about this several times but there was something about his teaching that took me a little further into this understanding.  I really can't explain it other than that.

The  Reasons for Suffering

Man suffers because he is confused about what he is looking for and where to find it.

There are two main reasons for this confusion, according to the author: a sense of "I-ness" and a sense of "mine-ness. "  The I-ness is the mistaking the transient body for the self.  If we are attached to that ideology we will suffer when our bodies disintegrate ( and they all will) , when we age and get sick or when we or someone we love dies. The 'mine-ness" is our attachment to things of the external world...even relationships.  If we see that we are not full and complete without these things we will suffer as they get lost, break down  or get  taken away. (and they will as is their nature). Attachment brings suffering.

I look at this I-ness and this mine-ness as ego lies. Lies we subscribe to, perpetuate, build upon and cling to...  even when they create nothing but suffering. With this suffering...ego trains us to seek outside ourselves for happiness in the I and the mine.

Looking for a golden Needle

Swami relays a story about an old woman who lost a golden needle in her bedroom.  Her friend was called over to help her look for it, but not in the bedroom where she lost it but in the garden.  They fruitlessly searched and searched for hours in this garden for the 'thing' that the old woman so loved. Finally her friend asked, "Why are we looking out here and not in the bedroom?"  The old woman responded, "Because there is no light in my bedroom.  I need to search where there is light so I can see."

Hmmm!  How many of us are relying on our bodily senses and identifications to help us find what we have lost...even if that dependence takes us far away from where the lost thing is?  We look outward instead of inward. We use our senses instead of vision.

What is it that we are looking for? 

According to ancient scriptures we are looking for Sat-Chit-Ananda: the Being, the knowledge and the bliss that is the Self. That is what we lost and that is what we long for.

Where is it? 

Where we lost it...inside us...not out there in the external garden we are searching in.  We need to go back through the bedroom door of our mind's where it is and always was.  The happiness we are looking for is inside. 

Not only that...It is us. Somewhere inside we know that. We know we are naturally peaceful and joyful.  Pain is not a part of our nature. Otherwise we wouldn't be searching.

The Analogy of Boiling Water to Explain that pain is not our nature

The author also uses analogy of boiling water.  When we ask why is the water, boiling over an open fire, hot? It shows that water is not normally hot.  If water is always hot we would simply know it as water and not question its character. Yet water is not inherently hot...and something in us knows that thus the question.  If water is hot...something made it hot. What was that something?  In this case it was its union with fire that made it hot. Take it off and away from the fire it returns to its natural temperature.

Why is man suffering?  If I ask that question that indicates that it is not man's natural tendency to suffer.  "Pain is not the nature of the soul." Something is making it suffer. We inherently know that and that is why we search for its opposite: peace, happiness and joy.

Yet we often do not realize what that thing that causes us to suffer is.  What is that something?: The ego and its need for "I-ness and mine-ness".  So if we take away the "I" and "mine"...we return back to our natural state which is pure knowledge, bliss and joy and Being.

We often do not know what we are looking for. We want happiness  but not the same happiness ego wants.  though we spend a good portion of our lives, if not all of it, looking for the things ego tells us will make us happy.  We will not be able to find the thing we seek that way.

The true happiness is in the Self (ananda).  We want to Be, to exist, to live...and that is the sat.  We want ultimate knowledge and that is the chit.  What we really want, then, is not a golden needle or anything else the world provides...we want Self.

As long as we are looking for happiness outside the Self (the sat-chit-ananda) we are looking  in the wrong places.  That is the only reason we can not find it. If we are suffering at all...it simply means we are looking in the wrong place.

Get out of the garden and go back to the place where what you lost is. Turn the gaze inward and we will see it was never lost!


Whatever suffers is not part of me.
ACIM-W-248

All is well

References:

ACIM

Swami Vishnu-devananda (1988) The Complete Illustrated book of Yoga. New York: Three Rivers Press

Pain is not the nature of the soul.

-Swami Vishnu-devananda (The Complete Illustrated Book of Yoga, 1988, page 305)

 

 

Pain of Adjustment

Pain is not who you are.  It is simply an energy inside you for a while and then it is transmuted.
-Eckhart Tolle

Adjusting to a Less than Favorable Situation

I want to assist my child adjust to university and dorm life.  She has identified herself as "shy and awkward' even though she has many friends and acquaintances. "The problem", according to her, is that her friends are not in the same dorm with her.  The other problem is the communal gender neutral washroom situation as is the reality in most dorms these days. She is avoiding things like that washroom...driving off campus to her friends' and has yet to go to meal hall or participate in house activities because she hasn't met any friends yet.  She seems to have a lovely room mate but "the problem" is, according to her,  that her room mate appears to be shy as well, creating an ' awkward barrier' between them.

In her mind she is suffering an awful, unliveable situation while everyone around her, who are obviously not as unlucky or as defective as she,  are adjusting and having an easy, fun time. They are living the life she expected of college life.  She is therefore  in pain...the pain of
discomfort, anxiety,  and adjustment to an  "awful situation" she does not think she can endure.  :)

As a Mom, I want to fix it or at least help her in some way.  I already attempted to do it on the physical level by attempting to change the situation and then, at least, the environment.  I did too much and feel like I stepped over my bounds. I just feel her 'pain' and I want to relieve it for both our sakes.

Pain?

The thing is, I know pain is irrelevant and nothing more than a temporary and fleeting ego illusion.  Just as my daughter is not shy or awkward, she is not in pain.  Her identifying herself as these things is what limits her. My identifying her as a victim to these very minor life situations is what limits me.

There are several causes for her ( and my) perception of pain

• Identifying Self with minor past personality quirks (shy and awkward) and seeing Self trapped in past personality identity.  She isn't shy and awkward.  She simply felt shy and awkward in the past and acted according to that but she is not her past either.  Past behaviours do not define who she is right now anymore than personality does!
• Unrealistic comparison. A comparison game goes on when we find ourselves in a less than favorable situation.  We assume everyone has it better or easier, don't we?  My daughter assumed that everyone had a bigger room and a better living situation because they have a bathroom or are with someone "they know well".  They aren't "all alone" as she put it.  She also assumed that no one felt like she did. In her comparison everyone felt comfortable, adjusted and confident.  No one was as awkward as she was...everyone else was meeting friends and having a better time because they all had the skills she didn't possess. She seriously did not take into account how uncomfortable others feel too...how universal that anxious  feeling is for most students starting university for the first time. Many, many others are feeling alone right now...including her room mate. She doesn't, at this point, take that comparison lamp and shine it the other way...to all the others who may be having a harder time.
• Expectations!  We, as human beings , have created these expectations for life that go way beyond what life is, lol! I think kids have these unrealistic expectations about how certain life events should be.  Orientation week should be exciting and fun and many friendships should start.  One should feel excited and happy throughout it all!  The room should be big and spacious...like home, only better.  The bathroom situation should be ideal ( regardless of the fact that there are 20-40 students on each floor).  We should be able to make many good friends this week. Going from home to the dorm should be a breeze.Man...this is a major turning point in all their lives requiring one of the biggest adjustments they will ever make: growing up and leaving home for the first time.  Grief is going to be a part of it! Anxiety over all the change,  commotion that goes on is going to be a part of it! Fear...confusion...exhaustion...man...it isn't supposed to be easy lol. Or on the other side...they may expect the worse and see only the worse because of that expectation.  The point is...expectations make accepting what is a lot harder to do
• Resisting what is! Instead of settling in to the moment and the present life situation we are facing, many of us put up our hands in resistance of it.  "Oh...I can't believe this is like this!  I can't believe the bathroom is like that.  I can't believe the rooms are this small!  I can't go because I don't know anyone.  I can't live like this.  etc etc"  We look to another moment, another situation, and other place to get us out of the moment we are in when it would be so much easier to just accept it as it is. "Sure right now...it sucks to have to use a coed bathroom and I feel uncomfortable and anxious.  This is a tough adjustment but this is where I am right now and this is what it is.  "  We need to accept the moment for what it is and what it has to offer if we ever want to find peace in our present set of circumstances.
• We fail to see pain for what it really is. It is just an emotional energy inside us that will flow right through if we let it.  Of course, I couldn't explain it that way to my daughter at this point lol...but I can  say..."Just allow yourself to feel uncomfortable and be here anyway. The feeling won't kill you...and it won't last forever.  Don't run from it or this situation because it makes you feel uncomfortable."
• We fail to see life situations for what they really are. Life circumstances are not Life...they cannot make us or break us.  And like our emotions they will pass right by us if we do not identify with them too much. "So what, you are in a dorm with a communal bathroom...that's just a situation.  It isn't your life. It won't kill you."  We do have a tendency to see the less than favorable  things around us as having so much power over us, don't we,  by saying, this is my life?  I think it is only when we make that distinction and detach from the situation that we will be inspired to act to change what needs to and can  be changed.  The only thing negatively impacted by a situation is body and mind...not Life.
• We fail to see who we really are. We identify with the body and mind and assume if either of these suffer Life is suffering. We fail to see the Self that is immune to all that is happening around us as who we really are.  Instead we identify with the self or "little me" and own all its ideas that there are problems.  It tells us: "This living situation is a big problem and you just can't do it.  You can't make friends.  You can't learn to be comfortable with this washroom situations etc etc. You are, after all, too shy and awkward to survive this dorm life. In order for you to be happy and whole you need all the external circumstances to be 'good'...perfect if possible.  If they aren't, well you will suffer because that is what self does."

The Inquiry

Who is You anyway? Who is telling the you that there is a problem? Could there possibly be a presence beneath all this complaining that is perfectly okay with things as they are? When we realize who we are...all this stuff just doesn't matter.

Like the illusion of silver in mother of pearl, the world appears to be real only until the Supreme Self, the immutable reality behind everything is realized.
-Swami Vishnu-devananda in The Complete Illustrated Book of Yoga (1988), page 300


Anyway, these are the real challenges for my daughter and for all of us to overcome...not the situations or circumstances that flow into and out of our lives.  I know, at this point though , I cannot get my daughter to see it that way. She has her own growing and learning to do to get from a perception of 'discomfort' to the reality of comfort.

I will step back and let her figure it all out.  But if she asks and really seems ready to try to see beyond the physically obvious...I will definitely be here and ready to share the bit I am realizing.  That is the only real  'help" I can offer her.

It is all good. All is well in my world.