What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Save the dandelions! Save the dandelions!

I have a hard time killing dandelions. 

I have become the black sheep of my neighborhood for many reasons lol (four at least...my dogs)  but I have discovered recently, the new reason of contempt is because I do not keep my yard up  the way the neighbors feel I should. That is true...my yard is not as green and as perfectly tended as many of theirs. I have crab grass, clover and a host of yellow headed creatures popping up all over. 

I do not always use my limited energy reserves to rake up leaves, trim the hedges or take part in other routines of upkeep. I also refuse to use fertilizers on my lawn  though I know they want me to so the "weeds" do not spread into their yards and destroy their perfectly appearing lawns.

I know they put a lot of effort into maintaining these appearances and it shows. Their yards look so nice.  They are proud of them as they probably should be.

 I, however, think differently. I understand that the consequences of  my own physical limitations and belief systems interferes with those efforts and tarnishes what could be viewed as a perfect community. 

Still, I only have so much energy and I will not use it on creating appearances that are not so good for the environment in the long run. At the cost of other judgment,  I let nature be nature.  I willingly accept the role of black sheep in my decision not to use use chemicals  in fear of what such destruction does in the long term. 

In short, I do not like to kill dandelions because I see how the bees and butterflies are attracted to them.  The population of bees especially, in my yard has seen a tremendous decline over the last couple of years and that concerns me. When my lawn is yellow...I see more bees and butterflies. 

I do mow...I know I have to...but I will not destroy something that does so much good because it is labelled as "imperfect" and "unsightly".   I am accountable for that and accept the ostracization that follows.  (I feel like a Green Peace revolutionist from the 60's... instead of whales I  am putting my boat between the dandelions and the harpoon of the Weedman lol). 

The neighbors may not approve of my decision. Gossip, negative opinion, judgment, assumption, bold faced lies, drama and over exaggeration using fear as the tactic spreads more quickly through a neighborhood than dandelions ever could.   I do not blame them for their opinion.  I am far from the perfectly conforming neighbor.   I will not own their opinion of me  though. They are entitled to it.  I will accept it and accept my accountability for the truth that lie within it.    It is I that does not wish to conform to the values. of the majority...they do not need to conform to mine. 

I would suggest, however, a little human fertilizer to tame the righteous judgment and anger, we are unknowingly spewing, into a more manageable population of truths ....for all of our  sakes.  Compassion feels so much better to the soul than judgment and a desire for revenge ever could.

Why do we Discriminate?

In truth though, I do not know why we discriminate so...even in the plant world.  Does nature see the dandelion any differently than she sees the prized winning rose in some one's flower bed?  I don't think so.  They serve the same purpose as far as she is concerned.  I bet she sees both as equally beautiful creations.  :)

I also believe she has a special mission designed for our busy little yellow headed friends.  I think she makes these flowers we call "weeds" so abundant to compensate for the damage we are doing to her insect populations.  It is us humans who fail to see the value in life and destroy and discriminate against her gifts. The dandelion has virtues we have yet to discover.

All is well in my world.

The love that saves us is not a love that might come to us in the future, but rather, the love we can give to whomever is around us right now.
Marianne Williamson

Bursting Balloons

A relationship is not meant to be the joining at the hip of two emotional invalids.  The purpose of a relationship is not for two incomplete people to become one, but rather, for two complete people to join together for the greater glory of God.
Marianne Williamson

Bursting balloons and bubbles!

I want to soothe your egos a bit.  I know I probably burst some bubbles (or balloons [for the sake of the upcoming analogy]) for those few of you that may have read my entry yesterday. 

Romance is celebrated so much in our culture.  We dream about it, write about it, sing about it and watch it transpire in front of our faces.  We like that fantasy.  It makes us feel good.  It gives us hope.  It is like a balloon we carry with us.  When we feel down or out of sorts, we can look up at the sky where the balloon is floating on the end of the string we cling to...and we feel better.  You don't want anyone coming around with a pin to pop that hope, do you? 





It was not my intention to do that.  I love hope...in whatever version it comes in but I also love truth and wisdom.  You see the bubble that held my fantasies of romance, that I ferociously clung to since I was a little girl hooked on Fairy tales, was never busted.  Though I have experienced heart break and disillusionment many times in my romantic relationships...that didn't make me cynical.  It did not  lead me  to go around with a large pin and a cackling laugh, on a mission to pop everyone's balloons lol. I personally do not like the sound of balloons popping.  :)  In fact...every disappointment only made me more determined to cling to that balloon and hope for the salvation of romantic love in my life.

 It was not cynicism, then, and a lack of hope in the beauty and value of love ...that led me to write what I wrote yesterday.  It was a new awareness and wisdom of Love that led me there. 

For years now, I found myself looking up at the balloon so far above me, so elusive, filled with nothing but air and I questioned.  Why do I; why do we as a culture cling so to something that is basically just a shell holding nothing but air within it? What does it give us in this moment but a sore hand from clinging so and a kink in our neck from looking up?  How can something so fragile...something that could be carried away by a gust of wind, busted by a sharp object or deflated because of outside pressure save us from ourselves? It didn't make sense. 

I needed to know more.  In my desire to wake up I began to find answers and a new awareness about what Love really is emerged.  As  that new awareness gradually grew within me,  the air in my fantasy of love just gradually and without pain slipped out.  It was a graceful and easy process...one in which I found peace...a peace I never truly knew when I was clinging to my balloon.

Balloons carrying the  fantasy will gently loose their air  

It is when I began to understand that most of the emotional turmoil that I wanted love to save me from was simply illusion created by my own thinking, my ego...that the balloon above my head began to deflate and come down to earth for closer examination.

I seen it for what it was. It wasn't solid and real. It was a future projection of a desire for salvation in something outside myself.  "When I find my soul mate; when prince charming comes into my life I will have peace, I will be happy then." Once I seen it merely as a thought form that took me out of my now and gave me very little in my present moment, I realized I didn't need it any more. I didn't need this version of love.

Don't get me wrong...I am not saying I don't need Love anymore because I do...I just don't need the fantasy of romance anymore. 

Love, however, is something I know I am destined for...we are all destined for. It is why we are here.  It is everything. 

Real Love Vs. the Fantasy of Love

Real Love differs greatly from the fantasy of love so many of us are still clinging to. 

There is no neediness in real Love. Why?  To know It is to know that we are already complete in God's Love.  We are whole and perfect beneath our bodies and personalities....though our egos do not want us to go there.   When we know this...truly know this...we do not need  to desperately reach out to another with fear and longing pleading with them to fill us up...to make us complete.   We do not have to crave for something/someone in our future moments to  give us what we think we are lacking. 

No one else can or needs to make us complete.  We already are, right now.

It was when this truth began to settle in my core that I ironically came across a partner that I can be my healthiest with.  We share a relationship, healthier and more mature, than any I have been in before.  Why?  There is much less ego.  My ego, though definitely still there, is less reactive and destructive than it ever was in the earlier experiences of my life and he has very little egoic reactions.  It is not a relationship based on fear, drama, guilt or neediness.  It is a relationship of two complete (or almost complete lol...I still have a long way to go before I reach full realization) individuals who are loving for the sake of loving.  In that regard we are joined together for the greater glory of God...not the greater glory of ego. We love in the moment instead of dreaming of a "better love" in the future. :)

Knowing Love does not start  with  looking up or outward for your salvation but begins by going inward.  See Self beyond the little self...love that Self and than love another. 

From that point... Love all others in this moment.  That's real Love.

All is well in my world.

Note of apology for the font on the previous entry. I cut and pasted the quotes so I wouldn't miss any words or punctuation...and because different fonts were used  in the different articles...it screwed up the font format in that entry...even after I tried to fix it and it looked fixed on my draft.  The more I try to get it right...the worse it gets so I will leave it alone and ask for your forgiveness if your eyes have to strain to read it. :)

We love best when we do not love out of desperation.
Leonard Price

I desperately want to understand human relationships in terms of what is healthiest for us and for the world at large.  I want to look at romantic love or what A Course in Miracles refers to as "The special relationship" and compare it to real love.  I have been reading and researching most of the morning so I am hoping I am not too tired to get into  a natural wave of free flow thought. Only one way to find out. So here we go....

Bursting the Bubble on Romance

We have all watched, with anticipation, as the hero on the big screen  bends his handsome  head down to kiss the beautiful heroine.  At the moment their lips touch,  the music in the background escalates signifying that their struggle is finally over and a happy ending is foretold..  We may  experience those same  butterflies of expectation and hope when the guy or gal of our dreams looks our way. 

We wonder if they will call, and if the call will lead to a date, and that date to a long term relationship equipped with k-i-s-s-i-n-g in some proverbial tree as we eventually look down to see ourselves  walking by with a baby carriage. Many of us  begin fantasizing about our weddings when we are mere children, looking forward to the day when our dreams will all come true. 

Through a long awaited intertwining with a special person, we will become whole and once we are whole we will be free of pain forever.  Well maybe not forever...or completely.

We know romantic love is full of turmoil and unpredictability.  We even assume that it is supposed to be...that's what makes it more exciting.  We read about the roller coaster ride  of passion in novels and poetry.  We hear the twangs of downward falls that accompany lost love over the radio waves.  And we get lost in  the thrilling upward  climbs in the honeymoon periods of our own new relationships.

Love is a fun,  game of chance that promises  if we win, we will find pure joy and happiness.  Most importantly, it tells us,  we will be saved from ourselves. We become addicted to the promise of freedom it offers. It is a pursuit  we are more than willing to risk our whole mental life  of peace on.

After all, the world is a scary place, void of safety, meaning and purpose for too many of us.  We do not want to be alone in it.  We feel lost,  broken and incomplete...we need someone or something outside ourselves to fill in the holes. We want a reason to live. We seek refuge in the romantic love the poets and songwriters write about. 

Price, an American Buddhist Monk,writes that most of us , "longing for authentic and moving experience, turn to the vision of the "lover," that source of wonder, joy, and transcendence, who, it is thought, must be pursued and if captured perfected and if perfected then enjoyed forever — or until some other lover lights up the horizon." (2005,par 9)  We find ourselves on a mission to seek and find a person who can fix our brokenness.

 

 We are told that we may not always win in love but we should not give up trying to find that "one" perfect person who fits us like a puzzle piece, convinced that when that happens everything will be okay. We hear the pain of lost love echoed through music and song but it does not deter us.  We see people breaking up, getting divorced, yelling obscenities at each other or even killing for the sake of love or its end but we still believe that type of love...is the only thing that will save us.

Besides if it hurts that bad to lose it, how good it will feel to own it? We, as human beings, have been conditioned to believe that , "Love, or possibly the myth of love, is the first, last, and sometimes the only refuge of uncomprehending humanity." (Price, 2005, para 3). 

Are we uncomprehending, when it comes to this version of love we use?  I believe so.  I believe romantic love differs dramatically from real Love which is the only type of love that will save us. Real Love is of spirit.  Romantic love is of the ego. One is based on wholeness and completion; the other is based on an idea that we are separate, incomplete and alone.  One is truth; the other is illusion.  One brings peace; the other brings unfulfilled anticipation and grief amongst its few happy and excited moments. One is permanent and eternal; one is temporary and conditional. Hmmm! 

 

The Illusion of Romantic Love

 

According to Arenson(2013), Price(2005) and A Course in Miracles our idea of love is a twisted version of  real Love.  In this twisted, distorted, egoic version... love is a desperate craving for something that we will never be able to truly attain by this means.  Romantic love  can never sustain us because it arises from our fear of being alone with ourselves. 

Anything that comes from fear will breed more fear.  Fear is of the ego and the ego wants to use whatever ploy it can to keep us from knowing the truth of who we really are. We somehow forgot who we are and from Whom we came and that sense of separation leaves gapping holes in our beingness.  We feel anxiety, pain, grief , hatred and fear.  Ego tells us we just  need something that will lift us up from this painful perception.  It tells us  we will find it in a special relationship. We listen and we believe.

 

What ego doesn't tell us is that our seeking of some special other, like all seeking and craving in the physical world, is a thirst that will never be truly quenched.  It is an attachment to something that will not end the suffering we want it to end, it will only cause more.  It will not ground us and keep us stable because this type of love is always changing.  It will not serve and protect us no matter what because it is very conditional.

In short, we won't get what we want from this type of love...just more longing and craving. “So powerful, so insistent is it that we seldom notice that the gratification is rare and the craving relentless. Love is mostly in anticipation; it is an agony of anticipation; it is an ache for a completion not found in the dreary round of mundane routine." (Price,2005,par 7)

 

Romantic love is simply an illusion.  It isn't real.  Ego feeds us with fear and hate which are also illusions but we believe them to be true so we cling to the only plausible route of  salvation ego offers ...the special relationship.  Yet, it really doesn't save us.  

According to, A Course in Miracles, "The special love relationship is an attempt to limit the destructive effects of hate finding a haven in the storm of guilt.  It makes no attempt to rise above the storm, into the sunlight.” (ACIM, T:16:IV:3:1-2). 

We want safety.  We want freedom from these awful emotions we are tricked into believing we are destined to feel.  We want the sunlight.  So we seek out a special partnership, to fix it all and to give us what we want.   But it really doesn't fix it all, does it?

It doesn't fix it because it is only an illusion.  It isn't real. We will not escape the illusion of hate with this illusion of love.   “The special love partner is acceptable only as long as he serves this purpose[creating and maintaining a place of safety]. Hatred can enter, and indeed is welcome in some aspects of the relationship, but is  still held together by the illusion of love.  If the illusion goes, the relationship is broken or becomes unsatisfying on the grounds of disillusionment.(ACIM, T:16:IV:3:5-7)

 

What is Real Love?

 

Real Love is of the Spirit , of the now and it does not cause pain.   It is the permanent and real truth that brings peace.  (Arenson, 2013)  “How can real love devastate you when real love is the absence of superficial egoic needs, the absence of falsehood, and all real love is the presence, and the present? With love, there can be emptiness, but no feeling of emptiness”. (Par 9)

 

Love is a real  love of Self without hatred, fear  and guilt. "For love is wholly without illusion, and therefore wholly without fear.” (ACIM, T:16:IV:11:9)

 

Real Love is found within. “If you seek love outside yourself you can be certain that you perceive hatred within, and are afraid of it.  Yet peace will never come from the illusion of love, but only from its reality.” (ACIM; T: 16: IV: 6: 5-6)

 

Real Love is whole and complete within itself.  Though we can  deceive ourselves of its true meaning, it  is our true nature so there is no escaping it. The search for love is, "Ceaselessly searching for the ultimate feeling of completion. That which is searched for exists already within." (Arenson, 2013)  We need to turn our eyes from the outer world and let them rest on the inner world where Love is bountiful and sure.

 

 

 

                                                   

So Now That We Know the Difference....

 

 

 

So now that we know the difference between real and romantic love what do we do?  Break up with our partner, join a Buddhist monastery and forsake all romantic relating?

No...healthy and mature romantic love can offer much joy to our lives.  We do not forsake it unless we are committed to getting completely  beyond the confines of all physical world attachments in search of the higher glory (what the Buddhists might call Nirvana/nibbana, and the Christians... "a full devotion to Christ".) 

Most of us won't take it that far which is a beneficial thing for the growth and  survival of our species.  We do not have to forsake our committed and intimate relations with  others in search of  enlightenment. 

As much as I wish to wake up fully and consciously, I won't do that at this point in my life...because I love my present partner and I want him in my life.  Besides, I do not look good in orange :) . 

We do need to give up...we just need to wake up.  We need to look at these relationships in a different and healthier way while we seek the Real Love that our partners cannot give us but that we can share with them once we find it.  

Once we realize what real love is we seek it by going within.  We detach from our desperation and our need for others to fill us by knowing they can't and most importantly, they do not need too.  We are already complete and whole. We do not need to end the  relationships we are in but we do not need to depend on them to be what they can't be, either...external things that save us from ourselves.

If we are not in such a partnership at the present time...we look with gratitude at where we are at, knowing  we can use that time to embrace solitude.  We can go inward to the source of all things and learn to love ourselves by knowing who we really are and from Whom we came.  Once we find that we will be able to detach from our desperate need to find someone to fill us up.  We will know we are already full and complete.  Every relationship we approach from that point on will be healthy and mature based on the desire  for Real Love over romance.  We give up the  desperate need for an external fix. We learn to love better.

 

According to (Arenson, 2013), "The only remedy for love is to love better." (para 14).  How do we love better?

We remove this notion of specialness from ourselves and from those we choose. We love all.  We love without ego.  We remember who we are and from Whom we came. 

Then, we love without fear and we love without desperation. "When we lean hard, out of passion, we will fall hard — such is the nature of attachment. But when we do not lean, when instead we stand upright with an eye to the heights, then the love we bestow flows out of us without weakening us, like a superabundance of vigor. This is metta — loving-kindness devoid of selfishness." (Arenson, 2013,para 15) 

Real Love is metta - loving kindness devoid of selfish ego need and craving.  It is the one thing that will save us.

All is well in my world.

 

 

 

 

References

Arenson, D. (2013) The True Meaning of Love from a Buddhist Perspective. Mind-Body-Green.  Retrieved from  https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7740/the-true-meaning-of-love-from-a-buddhist-perspective.html

Foundations for Inner Peace . (2007) Text. A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume, Third Edition. Mill Valley, CA: Foundations for inner Peace.

Price, L. (2005).  Nothing Higher to Live for : A Buddhist View of Romantic Love.  Access to Insight. Retrieved from http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/price/bl124.html

 

Ego says, " Once everything falls into place, I will feel peace." Spirit says, "Find your peace and then everything will fall into place."
Marianne Williamson

Peace of mind is the one thing in life I long for more than anything else. 

Oh I get mixed up sometimes.  I listen to ego too often and get all twisted around by its promises.  "Get your health back...and then peace will come.  Get some money in your accounts and pay your bills...then you will have peace of mind.  Get that book published...and then you will know what peace really is. Get perfect at meditation...and peace will be your stepping stone for more."

So I start thinking peace will be the reward for doing more; for putting all my energy into fighting my body...for working harder...for focusing more on submitting than writing new stuff...and for  making a mediation practice a chore I try to perfect everyday. Peace will come sometime in the future when I got my life in order....when I have health, money, recognition, and the perfect meditation practice.

Wow!  I don't have these things right now. My life is not in order according to the ego...so there will be no peace.  Or will there?

When I stop to think though...I mean when I sit in stillness without thinking lol...I hear Spirit and I come to know that peace can be experienced now, peace is meant to be experienced now.

I just need to close my eyes, shut out the external world and concentrate on my breath.  Peace. 

I just need to open my eyes and my mind to the world that is happening around me right now, right here and peace can be found. 

I just need to tell myself that my thoughts are not who I am and attempt to gently get beyond them.  Every time I watch them walk by my psyche  when my eyes are closed without attachment...I experience peace.

 I  can find peace in my very imperfect meditation practice.  I am still struggling to get a comfortable position that doesn't cause back strain and puts me in the alignment all our bodies are meant to be in so I can truly  "relax" and stay alert at the same time...but...I still meditate.  I still go to a place where peace can be found for 20 minutes twice a day.  I know as I perfect this...it will get better and deeper...but for now I am finding some peace...so it is all good. 

It is all good now. If I put more energy into finding peace now than I do into trying to get the help I need physically, trying to get more money by working harder, submitting rather than writing (writing brings me peace) and seeing meditation as something I need to do perfectly ...then I would discover that peace is where it always was.  I just need to tap into it and I will have what I really want.  If everything else turns around for the best because of it...so be it.  What I really want though is peace now!

All is well in my world.

Where flowers bloom so does hope.
Lady Bird Johnson

Slept poorly last night and awoke early drenched in sweat ( oh the life of a perimenopausal woman lol).  It is all good.  I got up and did yoga and then I meditated for 20 minutes ( or I tried to...the dogs had other ideas for me :))

I am trying to make the best use of my time and energy, considering them both potentially or actually limited in the physical sense.  So I try to spend each section of my day mindfully, asking myself these questions before I embark on a task or activity,

"Is this the best use of my time and energy?  If I only had today left, would I spend it doing this?  If this depletes my physical energy , will it be worth it? "

Yesterday I gardened which I have not done in soooo long.  The answer to each of the above questions was a resounding yes. Gardening is a great use of time and energy...because when I have my hands in the soil, I am doing something that not only brings joy to me but reflects the  joy of  life.  Planting new things that will make the world more beautiful, attract and sustain more bees and butterflies ( my primary objective) and carry on long after I am dust...is a great use of time and what I have left of oompf.  I am outdoors.  I am actively using my body which I so love to do.  I am literally elbow deep into nature lol feeling life under my fingertips as it crawls or creeps away from my prying hands. 

If I only had one day left I would want to plant and maintain new life...leave something behind for my children and for this world.  I would want to do my small part in ensuring that a species of insects that are so vital to sustaining this planet are given an opportunity to carry on. So yeah...gardening is a great use of my time and a worthy last day on earth activity.  :)

 Shouldn't we all be thinking and acting like it is our last day on earth so we are more conscious of how we are spending each moment and so we make each task a worthwhile one?

Gardening does deplete my physical energy.  I squat in front of raised flower beds and I try not to pull or lift or those types of things that bring on symptoms...but heck, I never succeed lol.  I end up doing what I do with every task I take on with my overly focused  and determined mind...I give it all I got regardless of the cries from my body.  Most times, I literally do not hear more than a whimper until I have accomplished what I set out to accomplish.  Then I feel it.  After an hour of weeding one flower bed that was in urgent need of care...I was completely wiped.  I wouldn't finish until it was all done and then I had to go in and lay down on my zero gravity patio lounger D. bought for me when my back was out, that I placed in the middle of my living room floor  (pretty lol),  and I was out like a light.

I also went back out to the garden in the evening.  My daughter went to the garden center for me to buy me more soil and some perennial's.  Together we planted those while nature swarmed around our heads and bit into our flesh.  I have not felt so alive in a long time. I was determined and we planted what we wanted to plant.  I felt so much accomplishment when I was done despite how exhausted I was.  I felt I used my time and my body in the way God intended...so what were a few symptoms. My energy was definitely depleted but it was all worth it. 

Now it is raining.  I won't have to water or do anything but let nature take care of the new additions to our yard.  Whatever happens, happens. I can just sit back and watch the fruits of our labour materialize before us in blossom, bloom, butterflies and bees.  How cool is that?

All is well in my world.

That which comes and goes, rises and sets, is born and dies is the ego.  That which always abides, never changes and is void of qualities is the Self.
Ramana Maharshi

Sin?

All bad qualities center around the ego. When ego is gone, Realization results by itself.  There are neither good or bad qualities in the Self.  The Self is free from all qualities. Qualities pertain to the mind only.
Ramana Maharshi (early 20th century Indian Sage and guru)

Questioning

Still on the kick of understanding what temptation, our tempters and sin really is from a broader more universal standpoint than the one I was brought up on.  I go against everything I was brought up to believe even in my questioning.  If my parents were still alive they would be packing me a lunch or an overnight bag and sending me off to the nearest confessional where they would expect me to be for quite some time. Still here I am...questioning and wondering.  "Bless me Father for I have sinned.  It has been much, much too long since my last confession....  I question everything I was brought up to believe.  I am looking outside the church for answers."  How many Hail Mary's do you think that would get me? Still I ask: What is sin; what is the "evil"  tempter and what is temptation?

 

What is Sin?

 

Religion as the Interpreter

 

Most of us would answer that question with, "That's easy...Sin is the breaking of the Ten Commandments; it is going against the pillars of Islam; It's what Hindu's and Buddhists call the  defilement: killing anything, stealing, being unfaithful in marriage or partnership; lying or being inauthentic and using intoxicants.  Simple right...sins are clearly labelled and the rules are there. Sins are "bad", "wrong", "evil" behaviours or qualities that our religions help us to avoid, right?   Is it that simple?

Is There a Simpler Way to Understand Sin?

In a way I think it is and in a way I think it isn't.  Sin is probably a very simple concept to understand under a very complicated judgment offered by religiosity.  I think it can be looked at in a more simpler way.  Let's try to simplify it. 

I believe that sin is anything  that is unhealthy to our knowing the Self.

What is the Self?  In the quote above the Self is something that is free of all qualities, that is not effected by thought form and judgment; that cannot be labelled as good or bad...that just is. 

Say what, crazy lady? 

The Self

The Self is who we really are beneath our bodies, minds and personalities. 

The Self is spirit, soul, the Observer,  true beingness, the One,  Source, energy Life, Love or God...whatever way you want to label it. 

Self is who we really are.  It is what moves us, allows the blood to pump through our vessels and  the air to be breathed in through our lungs.  It is the force that allows the flower to push through the frozen earth in spring time; that sets the sun and that moves the tide. 

The Self is the One thing that we all share. It is beyond mental judgment and the labelling of qualities.  It is everything all at once...so there is no good or bad, right or wrong in the Self.  We prescribe those qualities to things outside the Self using our minds. 

It is our minds that see and understand sin...not the Self.

Sin: An Obstacle to Knowing Self

 

What we call sin is only that which is unhealthy on our journey to Knowing the Self.  It is that which stands in the way or slows down our progress. 

What we call sin will never harm the Self...the Self is beyond that.  It will just harm us in our ability to get back home to where we belong.

The Self is reflected in humanity, all humanity...it is reflected in the universe, the entire universe.  If I harm another; kill a living being or steal from the earth( that which we may prescribe to as sin under a religious pretext) I am delaying my progress to knowing who I really am.  Because part of me is the thing I harmed, the thing I killed, the part of the earth I destroyed. It is an unhealthy behaviour and having the desire or the inclination that I have a right to do such things is an unhealthy quality.
 
It is All Relative

 Bad or good; right or wrong are not relevant here...these judgments can change from one religion to the next, one culture to the next, one situation to the next...so it may not be universal. 

Sin is not universal...but our progress is.  If one of us delays the progress...we are all delayed.  Sin then is simply an unhealthy thought, feeling or behavioural choice that leads man away from knowing who he truly is and from Whom he came. That simple.

 

We believe in sin.  Why?  According to ACIM, The belief in sin is an adjustment.  And an adjustment is a change; a shift in perception, or  belief that was so before has been made different.  Every adjustment is therefore a distortion, and calls upon defenses to uphold it against reality.(III:1: 1-3)

We have come to believe in sin, changing the truth we know deep down to be true, and we work diligently at defending this belief.  How do we do that?  We create evil doers and evil tempters in our mind.

 

Who are the Tempters?

 

Christians are brought up to believe that the tempter is the devil.  Hindus are brought up to believe, possibly, that the tempter is Mara.  We personify temptation into a form we can understand but what is it really? 

Ego as the Tempter

I have come to believe that our tempter is our ego...just that....a frightened part of human identity that we created, in our minds, to defend our belief in sin...in separation from God.

Ego wants us to identify with it, not the Self.  It derives from fear and it breeds fear.  What better way to induce fear than to create frightening demons. 

Ego rationalizes sin because it knows "sin" keeps us from reaching the Knowledge of  Self/Spirit that we seek ( whether we consciously know we are seeking or not).  What better way to rationalize our unhealthy behaviour than to call it sin and say "The Devil made me do it!" Ego wants us to cling to this belief.  It knows without it...it will perish under the truth of who we really are.

 

The real tempter is ego.  It is ego that tricks us and manipulates us into believing things it wants us to believe for its own selfish gains.  It is ego that leads us to attack others, kill living things, steal, collect, hold onto greedily the materials of this world.   It encourages us to feel hate and anger, resentment and shame.  Ego wants this because it wants us afraid enough to depend on it for salvation...and it sees that the only way we will adhere to its own twisted rules is if we are afraid. 

Sin and tempters lead us to fear. Ego is our tempter but it offers no real salvation...just momentary pleasure if anything.  salvation will only come if we get beyond temptation from our tempter.

 

 

What is Temptation?

 

Illusion and Distraction of the Outside World is Temptation

 

Temptation is the momentary reprieve ego offers us from the suffering,  fear and destruction it gets us to believe is real. 

Temptation is ego's promise of salvation.  "If you succeed at this at all costs...you will feel better."  "If you stand up for what is yours at all costs you will be righteous."  "If you take, collect and own all you can from this world...you will be stronger and more powerful."  "The world is a scary place and you are basically all alone in it...do the best you can to make it better for yourself...at all costs."

 It encourages us to think thoughts that take us away from Self and focus on the little self...thoughts about how sinful we are; how alone we are; how awful the world is; how we need to constantly protect ourselves from others, how getting ahead is everything etc. 

t encourages us to feel things that harm us in the long run like anger, jealousy, resentment, greed, lust, shame, worry, anxiety, guilt etc etc. 

It encourages us to make choices that take us away from Stillness, solitude and the road that will take us home.  It brings our focus away from the spiritual to the physical and material and tells us that this is all there is so we should make the most of it. 

It's temptation is based on the need to take us away from the truth.

 

What is Salvation then?

 

Salvation comes with getting beyond our thinking to our being who we really are. 

It comes with recognizing ego's hold on us and the illusions of reality it provides. 

It comes with recognizing that it is an illusion and forgiveness.

It comes with choosing another way of seeing. 

Salvation is setting forth, once again, on the road to truth.  That simple.  Imagine!

 

All is well in my world. 

 





References

Foundation for Inner Peace(2007) A Course in miracles: Combined Volume (Third Edition).  Mill Valley, CA: Foundations For Inner Peace.

We have forgotten the age old fact, that God speaks chiefly through dreams and visions.
Carl Jung

It is raining again.  I had a dream that it was raining and I was growling D. for leaving the sun roof open.  I woke up and sure enough the sun roof was open.  I didn't growl though...that was all taken care of in my dream state lol.

I am a lucid dreamer.  I do not know exactly what that means other than the fact that I  know I am dreaming in my dreams. 

Last night I noticed a bunch of my children's old clothes...the ones they wore when they were small in an old blue Samsonite suitcase I used to have.  I said to myself at that point, "Oh the kids are small in this dream...cool!...I can't wait to see them small again."  I woke up before I saw them. 

I can change the direction of my dreams as well...or make important decisions in them.  I force myself to stand up to the monsters and demons hiding or lurking about telling myself...their obscure presence just symbolizes my fear and if I want to heal I need to confront my fears.  So I walk in the direction of the dark corners I know where the thing I am afraid of is hiding....the dreams usually change after that and become something safe and pleasant.  I seldom actually encounter the demon, the monster, the person of my past...my willingness to confront seems to be enough to make them go away.

I can also wake myself up.  This is tricky though...sometimes I get stuck between stages of sleep where I am paralyzed and I can't move.  Something tries to pull me back into dream state but I resist, knowing in my heart that I shouldn't go back...that I must wake myself up and I have to fight with all my might to get my body to move enough so I can roll over on my side ( I am always on my back when this happens). Once I am over...I awaken.  I don't like when this happens so I make it a point not to sleep on my back as much as I can help it.

Other significant things happen within me my dreams that I won't share here.

Dreams are powerful tools that can help us heal from things we are not even aware are broken.

  Dreams are windows to what is going on in our subconscious minds where beliefs are securely rooted. 

I think, like Jung did, that we can do a lot with dreams. If we want to change the way we think maybe we need to tap into our dream worlds to determine what it is we truly believe.

I would like to research and understand more ( actually have plans to write a book about preparing for this state of healing...so many plans lol). It is a fascinating subject, don't you think?

All is well in my world.

On Understanding Temptation

One who subdues the wandering mind, which strays far and wide, alone, bodiless, will be freed from the bonds of temptation.
Buddha

As I was telling you, I am watching the Saga of Buddha on Netflix and I am fascinated by Buddha's life story.  After watching yesterday's episode I found myself a little confused about Buddha's temptation.  So many questions arise.

It is depicted so similarly to Christ's temptation as He travelled for forty days in the dessert...yet I am wondering if that is the result of  Christian influence over the years or  vice versa.  Is there similarity between the two for reasons that should be obvious but aren't? How do the two temptations connect or do they?  

I am wondering what version of Buddha's time below the Bodhi tree, to believe as I research through history, scripture and literature. Depiction of this temptation  changes so much from one interpretation to the next, one culture to the next and one venue of expression to the next.

Who is Mara/Maara and what does he and his three daughters represent?

What was Buddha (and Christ) really overcoming when they overcame the temptations?

 I like to think this through logically...so there are three questions I want answered:

1. Is Mara the Christian version of the devil and if so what does such a demon really  represent to humanity?
2. Why do similar temptations happen to spiritual and divinely determined  leaders as they transcend from mere human limitations? 
3. What can someone raised on the meaning of Christ's temptation learn from Buddha's temptation?

 

 

Who is Mara?

In the Netflix series, Mara comes to the Buddha -to-be as he is meditating in his attempt to become enlightened under the Bodhi tree.  He comes to him in a grotesquely distorted human form of Siddhartha himself with horns on his head and trailing smoke and fire (sound familiar?) and calls himself the God of Temptation. 

He attempts to tempt Buddha into giving up his mission by introducing him to his three beautiful ghostly daughters: Wish, Distraction and Passion (I can't remember for sure if that is how they were named).  Buddha is not tempted and remains steadfast on his journey toward enlightenment.  

Is this an accurate depiction of Mara according to scripture?  Who is he really? 

Mara, according to Garuge (2013) has been depicted by translating scholars as many things over the years.   In the earliest translations, Maara was viewed not as a demon but the God of Love and throughout historical changes  he was demonized as the God of desire, the God of death, the God of earthly things, the Lord of drought, the Lord of the sensual realm, the God of temptation and so on and so on ( Garuge, 2103; O'Brien,2016; Kingsley, 1888; The Buddha's Victory, 1991).

According to the Pali sutras as referred to in The Buddha's Victory there is, however,  a more literal interpretation of these events and of Mara himself.  Mara is described a s a demi god, a son of god which could be interpreted as a personification of death and destruction of material and non material things due to five defilements (or what we Christians would refer to as sins): craving, aversion, ignorance, conceit and distraction(1991).

Mara, then, like the devil was to Christ...offers temptation to take Buddha off the spiritual path and into mental weakness...again what we Christians' call sin. Buddha like Christ overcomes these temptations. I believe from my reading...that Christians have a much more literal interpretation of the Temptor than Buddhists do. 

In the Pali interpretation of Buddhism, these temptations are believed to occur only in our minds and are in a sense a creation of our own mental state.  By controlling the mind we can control the Mara.  Fear can be overcome and one can gain control of these forces "little by little". (The Buddha's victory, 1991) Mara will become nothing but flowers and dust.

Evil is so personified in Christianity, however, ...that it is seen as something outside the self and not within human capacity to control. Evil is personified in the form of a being known as the devil.  And the devil is just as real as God is and to be feared as such. Such personified fear is definitely based on death and destruction. I personally like the Buddhist interpretation better.

 

Why the Temptation?

 

In the search for salvation of mankind and enlightenment spiritual leaders are tempted.  Why? 

What force wants to direct these leaders away from their altruistic goals and into selfishness, mental destruction and sin?

By leading them away...in a sense all of mankind is lead away. Why do Mara or the devil want this?

  This is going to take more thought for sure but right away I wonder about the "ego" and its need to control our lives.  The ego lives by the defilements, does it not? 

It sees the need for us to cling to the virtues of  fear, death and destruction to survive. If we are able to turn temptation of riches and. power and glory down as Christ had done or to get beyond our cravings, aversions, ignorance, conceit and distraction are we not getting past our egos?

Is victory over temptation simply getting beyond our egos to know who we really are?  Could it be that simple? 

No...though it sounds simple, it isn't simple.  It is a slow arduous process to get above our egos.  The Buddha had to overcome cravings through tranquility; aversion through friendliness and compassion; ignorance through wisdom, conceit through selflessness and distraction through awareness and mindfulness.

Our human limitation is our ego and it is not easy to overcome. "Tranquillity, friendliness, compassion, and so on do not just appear – not even when one is seated beneath the Bodhi tree! They have to be developed" (The Buddha's Victory, 1991).

 

What can one learn from the Buddha's Victory over Temptation

 

Regardless of what religious sect we come from; what we have been taught or conditioned to believe we can all learn from The Buddha's victory over temptation. 

Though we may never reach the heights of greatness and compassion that the Buddha and Christ have reached we can all strive for that love for humanity. 

We can all strive to get beyond the limitations and temptations ego provides us.  We can all strive to see beyond the false grandeur of the physical world to what is really important.

We can all strive to be better human beings one drop at a time. 

All is well in my world.

References

Guruge, A.(Nov 2013) The Buddha's Encounters with Mara the Tempter: Their Representation in Literature and Art. Access to Insight(Legacy Edition).  Retrieved from http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/guruge/wheel419.html

Kingsley, W. L. (1888...[yes 1888 lol]) Light of Asia and Light of the World. New Englander and Yale Review,49,page 33. Retrieved from https://books.google.ca/books?id=E-g6AQAAMAAJ&pg=PA33&lpg=PA33&dq=Buddha%27s+temptation+in+comparison+to+Christ%27s&source=bl&ots=XCuJiDrqew&sig=oLTHdS_Q33WeT_fG50maqJbVNYE&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjL6cj40pLUAhXLx4MKHfn8D5MQ6AEIRjAI#v=onepage&q=Buddha's%20temptation%20in%20comparison%20to%20Christ's&f=false 

O'Brien, B. (March 2016) The Demon Mara: The Demon Who Challenged the Buddha. Thought Co. Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/the-demon-mara-449981

 

The Buddha’s Victory: Sangharakshita. (1991)Windhorse Publications.  Retrieved from http://www.sangharakshita.org/_books/buddhas-victory.pdf

The Temptations of the Buddha and  Christ (n.d.) Archetypal Spirituality. Retrieved from https://archetypalspirituality.org/groups/myths/the-temptations-of-the-buddha-and-christ/

 

 

 

 

This is my simple religion.  There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy.  Our own brain; our own heart is the temple; the philosophy is kindness.
Dalai Llama

I have a wicked camera.  This was shot going 110 klicks an hour ( I wasn't driving lol). It was shot three weeks ago...imagine...that same spot will be twice as green and  twice as alive now.  All those poplar, maple and birch trees will be bursting with new life now.  The grass would be vibrant and green.  How quickly the world changes and how amazing it all is.  Just observing this beauty is a religious ritual...is it not?

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth.
Buddha

This morning I hear not the sad call of the Mourning Dove but the joyous whistling of the Robins.  How beautiful they sound on a rainy morning in May.  It is like they are singing in gratitude for their blessings as the rain draws up the bounty to the surface of the earth.  If I close my eyes all I can hear is their happy song of praise. If only we could all be so aware and grateful for the blessings that are being shown to us all the time...like the simple music nature provides if we only take the time to listen.

I am watching an amazing series on Netflix...the Saga of Buddha. It is in Hindustani, I assume. (  I haven't got a clue) and is subtitled but one forgets the subtitles pretty quickly lol.  I am so enthralled by the life of this man, this sage, this leader of men. I know it is a drama but I see the history in it as I learn about Northern India in the 500 years proceeding Christ. I see the founder of Buddhism in a new light because of this little series.  I see the waking up process taking place in the King of  waking up lol and it is inspiring. I know it is a drama and there may be some discrepancy in historical data but it has me captivated.  I love to learn about spiritual leaders.  I love to see such kindness and compassion in a human being who will lead other human beings down the same path.  :) Isn't that a role we should all take on?

I must be on a mission to understand more about Buddhism.  The movie we selected randomly last night to watch...after my Netflix binge on Buddha...was Seven Years in Tidbit...imagine?

Anyway...I am raving this morning.  My head is full of so many things.  It is all good though.

All is well in my world.

Just imagine becoming the way you used to be as a very young child, before you understood the meaning of any word, before opinions took over your mind. The real you is loving, joyful and free.  The real you is just like a flower, just like the wind, just like the ocean, just like the sun.
Don Miguel Ruiz (Author of the Four Agreements)

Imagine that.  Imagine being free of the good and not so good opinion of others like we were as children.  Back then in those early, early years of our development we were oblivious to other opinion, were we not?  We knew who we were without the need to think it or use words to describe it. Words and thoughts can get in the way of our beingness, can they not?  

Other opinion and our own limited ego opinion prevent us from realizing who we really are.  Have I said that enough?  I know...I know...I keep trying to wrap up this focus on relating to others but I guess...I still haven't said what I wanted to say...still didn't express myself enough.  I still do not feel the relief  I feel when I have succeeded at making a point...usually to myself in a way that clears a path for me to go forward.

I am struggling personally to get beyond other opinion right now and though I feel like I have grown so much and accomplished so much...I have a difficult time with dealing with negative opinion especially if it affects me in such an enormous way as this does...especially if it interferes with my ability to get well. The fact that the opinion is based...not on truths...but on unfair assumption and judgments about me that are unfounded...should make it easier .  In some ways it does.  Yet here I am stuck in the mud of other judgment.  Why?

When I realize that I am being judged by another I usually mentally put myself through this quick process:

• I clarify that negative judgments are indeed being made and that it isn't just in my head and my own distorted perception of the situation.  I spend time here evaluating the circumstances.  I examine if I am overreacting.  Where am I at the moment...emotionally?  Am I feeling insecure enough to assume negativity towards me when there is none?  Am I actually attacking myself here? Is Shamer playing tricks with my head again? Is it creating drama?  Do I catch myself wanting to stay in self pity and looking for reasons to do so?  How do I speak to others about this ( usually indicates if I am in drama mode or not lol) ?  If I determine that it isn't all my paranoia or distorted perception...I ask, "What evidence do I have that I am being judged unfairly? " I will confront the individuals if need be to seek more clarification.
• Once I decide that ...it is happening I ask myself, how much does it matter?  How much will this other opinion affect my life? If it matters little...meaning that the person's opinion is not that important to me anymore and that it is easy for me to walk away without consequences...  I let it go. The consequences I speak of are those that go beyond the ego.  The ego is going to be stung by even the most minor of negative opinion and inflamed it will push  me to be offended and stay stuck...But beyond ego is where I try to go so I know just how valuable or inconsequential this opinion really is.  If I cannot walk away without consequence or if the person 's opinion is valuable to me...I proceed to the next step.
• I seek the truth in the judgement or the opinion and I take accountability for it.  There will always be a morsel of truth, at least, in every judgment.  What is the truth in what they are saying or thinking?  Have I done anything at all to deserve such an opinion?  As hard as it may be to accept, can I learn and grow from their opinion or judgement?  I will collect the truths and if confrontation ensues over the situation I will gladly express that truth back to the persons involved, "You are right...I have done this or that etc..." That doesn't mean I concede to their opinion of me and find truth in all of it...but I, for my own sense of power and growth...admit to the painful bits of truth that may exist within their judgment. If there is a lot of truth or if it is all truth...I take the time I need to process the information, assimilate it and then when I am ready, I thank the person for their opinion and for helping me to grow into a better person. (Not like that is going to happen all at once lol...I usually start out as defensive and angry as a beast stung by a hornet...but I pull back and gain my bearings before reacting...or I try to at least. ) I apologize if I have done anything to hurt them. The person may or may not change their mind about me and I work on accepting that and letting it go.  If there is little or no  truth in what they have to say....
• I attempt to express myself honestly and openly once again.  I stand up for myself. If the consequences of that opinion affect me adversely or if I am in a situation where there is no way of escaping the negativity of the other person...I will do what I can to gain power by expressing the truth.  That is all I usually have at that point to give me power...the truth. I collect evidence of my truth...more for my own sake than theirs because I know how easy it can be to start believing that the other is right about you, especially if Shamer is taking part in the game. I examine the truth.  I validate it.  I own it before confronting the other person.
• I try to deal with my anger in a positive way.  At this point, I think it is very normal to feel angry.  If someone's opinion of you is affecting your life in a negative way...preventing you from getting what you need or what is yours and is not based on fact...it is normal to feel angry.  I know, however, that anger only truly hurts the person who owns it...so I try to find a way to express it that will help me release it, help me to make my point and help me to help others at the same time.  I ask myself: How would I feel if I saw these people judging someone else the way they are judging me?  Would I want to stop it? If the answer is yes...
• I depersonalize my investment in the other person's opinion of me and I seek the greater good. I take it way from "little me" focus...to a humanity focus.  That gives me even more courage, strength and power. Not only do I stand up for myself.  I stand up for others who could be impacted by such opinion.
• I warn the person or people involved that I am on a mission. I tell them I will stand up until I get knocked down.  I fully accept the fact that I might.  And I tell them if I get knocked down I will express my truth to all.
• I stop seeing them as villains. I try to understand where they are coming from and I forgive them.  I do not seek to hurt them or avenge myself.  I just stay committed to doing what I said I was going to do.
• I accept whatever happens after that.  I let go of my attachment to the consequences knowing that I did all I could do with negative opinion.  I leave the rest to God...knowing that no one can really hurt me, can they?  I am like the flower, the wind, the ocean and the sun...beyond the opinion of others and myself.

All is well in my world!

Ruiz, D.M. (2010). The Four Agreements.  San Rafael: Amber-Allen Publishing

Where there is mourning, there is dancing.
Henri Nouwen