What do you need and want from your Life in order to be happy?
A very common question.
"What do you need or want from your life?''
I am always stunned by that question when others ask it because I don't know. I usually say things like, "I don't know if I want or need anything from out there. I really just want to be able to be peaceful and open no matter what hapens."
They will then counter with a, "Come on...I mean what do you...as a person...beneath all this spiritual crap you do ...want and need ?"
I want to tell them that I am not just a person...I am that which observes the person but I know that won't get me anywhere lol, so I play along by saying, "I want my children to be well, I want to be happy and living life fully, I want what I need to survive."
They will then say, "No, no, what do you want and need from life so you are happy?"
And I just say, "Happiness comes from inside. I want to be able to acess it."
At this point they tend to get quite frustrated with me. "No ! No ! No! If life was matching you, as a person, what would it look like?"
I usually sigh and give in at that point, "If life was matching my 'little me's' needs I would be free from suffering. I would not feel so sick or disturbed everytime I looked around at my surroundings and the beings in it, seeing how much had to be done, fixed and improved. I would not feel that deep sense of obgligation , shame and fear when I do. There would be less entrophy ...the world around me would stop retreating into chaos...and by some means I would have the energy and power to keep it in some semblance of order. There would be less suffering."
"Less suffering? Oh my God!Will you stop with that woo-woo nonsense and the negativity? " they will usually counter again. "Just tell me what you want and need from life to be happy. Put it in a positive way. This is supposed to be a fun question to answer. It shouldn't feel like pulling teeth. What would life be like if it was the way you wanted it to be?"
It is then that I sigh and ask myself, 'What does this little me want?' I take a deep breath and answer, " I would be surrounded by healthy, happy loved ones; I would be writing and publishing, studying and tidying up the education I have so far into neat little packages. I would have enough in my bank account that I didnt have to worry about money. I would spend my days writing, sharing, and teaching. I would travel. I would explore and spend lots of time in the natural world. My environment would be neat, tidy, and well maintained. I would be the healthiest I could be physically and emotionally. And I would still be practicing in the way I do. "
"That's more like it" , they would likely say, "that is what you should be working towards."
They seem to feel better with this answer than the others. Heck, I seem to feel better with this answer. I even feel hope that maybe this human that I am a part of could find a certain salvation in the outside world. Maybe if it had all these things, had its needs met in this way...it would or could be happy. Hmm?
I start imagining all these things and it feels good. I imagine the desiring self as who I am again. My energy rises. I am, as this little me, feeling excited. I am even tempted to put all these things down on a dream board or to attempt to manifest them in some other way. It feels good. Shakti is flowing.
That is until the wise part of me makes itself known, drowning out the voice of this conditioned psyche with a "Now, now. You know better than that. You do not need to manifest things or circumstances from the outside world. You just need to keep practicing in the way you are practicing. You need to keep going inward and allowing the healing there. You don't need anything out here but what is necessary for the body's survival. You just need to purify. Purification is what will give you the peace you long for. It will allow you to notice, accept, experience, honour, embrace, and then release what is. Then if these things show up in your life... Great. If they don't, so be it! No problem. That doesn't mean you don't do anything. By all means: write, teach, look for ways to earn money, and do what you can to alleviate suffering in this world. Just don't be too hung up on the outcome. That will trip you up if you are. Make your practice as the Objective Observer the most important thing in your life and all else will fall into order...maybe not an order you will recognize and understand...but an order just the same."
Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6: 33 KJV
I don't tell the questioner all that though. I just take another deep breath as I thank Life for showing me what is real again. Then I smile and change the subject.
All is well.
No comments:
Post a Comment