Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them- that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
Eckhart Tolle
It took me a while to come here and actually place my fingers on the keys today. Why? I was lost in the meanderings of my petty little mind, trying to figure out what "I" as this clump of flesh and much too busy mind, could "do" to "fix" and "control" the life event sitting so obviously before me. I must be leaning over too much, allowing the wind to knock me off balance, causing me to fall into the turbulent waters of my mind...again. I somehow recognize I am there, splashing around, fighting a current I actually created. I stop and tread. I take a deep breath, pull my drenched and soggy body from the waters huffing and puffing as I do. I drag myself to shore and look over the bank and ask, "What the fork just happened? Why do I keep ending up in that bloody water?"
So now I am reflecting on why I keep getting sucked into this fast moving current when all I truly want to do is observe it. The Life Event that I am reacting to is awareness of my financial situation. My bank accounts tell me that I am getting more and more in debt trying to stay afloat. I am not the only person on this planet experiencing financial woes at this present moment in time. That I know. I also know that we do not all act the same to this so called "problem." Many, with similar circumstances as mine would probably be handling it with a lot more reactivity, with more drama than I am right now. "Oh my God...I can't pay the mortgage. How am I going to pay off the debt I am incurring to pay the mortgage? I can't handle this never ending stress of trying to stay a float. I will have to give up the house. Then where will we live? Oh my! I can't accept that I am in this situation. It should not be this way at my age after working so hard like I did. It is all so unfair. What do I do? What do I do? How do I fix this, change this? " Thrashing and splashing, fighting and struggling, resenting and resisting. Believe me I understand that approach...been there, done that...and there are many times I still wake up to find I am once again there.
Sigh! Staying centered is not as easy as it looks. I often find myself getting sucked into the thought stream, fighting against what life has given me as if it shouldn't be this way. I blame it for making things so hard for "me".
This world is not designed to make you happy-it is designed to challenge you.
Eckhart Tolle
Many others in the same situation, ( maybe not many, but a few, evolved human beings I would love to emanate) would handle it in a much more enlightened way. They would be observing calmly from the shore...where I am at the present moment...and saying, "Oh wow! Look what is down there! Some challenging waves...some choppy water...cool! Not sure how long this white water travels but it is all good. " (Which I am not quite saying). Then if they were even more evolved they would go into the water, lay back and just float...rising up when the waves crested, sinking down when the waves troughed...just allowing it all to be exactly as it, without fighting or resisting. The white water, (the challenging life event) would be viewed as a wonderful and exciting challenge that they embraced and experienced fully rather than something that "shouldn't be". They would trust it as they trusted this flow of Life to take them home.
I am not there yet. I am still on the shore observing the water, coming to acceptance of it. I do see that right where I am focusing, the water is choppy. There is challenge and this challenge is not a problem from here but I am not quite at the point where I am ready to go down and ride the waves. Observing is enough for now; reflecting on my tendency to get sucked in is enough for now, staying centered is enough for now. Accepting that it all is just as it is, is enough for now.
What I intend as I sit here is that I I find peace when I go back down into that river of Life...I used to believe that would only happen if my circumstances miraculously changed or I was able to "solve the problem" or "fix the moment" somehow but now I see there is another way. I intend to develop the serenity and fortitude of those more evolved beings I wish to emanate. I want peace and the ability to truly experience this flow of Life I have been granted the opportunity to experience, no matter what it offers, with appreciation and awe.
All is well!
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