I think therefore I am?

 I think therefore I am.

Rene Descartes

or

I am therefore I notice my thinking.

(I am not sure who said this.  I have it scribbled down in my notes without an author attached to it. My bad! Sorry. ) 

Which of the above quotes makes the most sense to you?  I  remember loving the first quote, seeing so much wisdom in it, as the philosophy prof shared it with our eager ready to be molded minds.  I don't see much wisdom in it anymore.  In fact, I see how unwise it is.  Thinking, I eventually learned by examining my own mind instead of blindly accepting the teachings others throw at me, keeps us from experiencing the "I am" of our lives. 

I am...

I love the second quote. I see the wisdom in that.  I feel the wisdom in that. We are "I am" before we are "thinker". The "I am" is always there, has always been there, will always be there as the core observer and participant of our experience here. Thinking,  like all things in this world, is not something "we" do.  It is something that just happens...flowing into our psyches, our experiences and flowing out. There is no substance to it.

Clouds in the Sky

"I am" is the spacious blue sky, eternal, unchanging, infinite.  Thoughts and other mental formations or mental modifications are just clouds that float over that blue sky.  Sometimes the clouds are light and fluffy not creating enough of an obstruction to hide the blue sky beneath.  The blue sky and all that light and goodness still shines through. We experience joy, peace, love in small or large amounts depending on how much blue sky is getting through.  Sometimes, the clouds are dark and heavy, even stormy, creating a thick veil over the  blue sky so little of its light shines through.  We experience heaviness, darkness, confusion, fear, anger, depression etc only becasue the light from the blue sky is not getting through the veil the mind has placed in front of it.  The blue sky is still there as it always has been and always will be, full of light and space and freedom.  We just don't see it through the cloud cover. The only thing between us and this sky, then,  are these clouds. The only thing between us and the peace we long for is the cloud cover of mind...our thinking.  The only thing between us and connection with the infinite blue sky are our mental modifications. 

The Sky Beneath The Cloud Cover

"I am" is still there underneath even our heaviest and darkest mental formations, our thoughts and feelings. It doesn't go away because we are not "observing" it.  It is and always will be observing us...observing the clouds...observing the thoughts, observing the feelings, observing the world beyond the mind.  It is always able to observe us even when we lost our attention on it.

We want to connect with it.  We want to be a part of it ( I mean we are always a part of it but we want the experience of being a part of it) and we begin by doing what it does...observing that which keeps us from it. We notice when we are thinking and when we are not.  Most of us have a lot of cloud cover in our psyches so we have a lot of noticing to do...but we notice the clouds. "Oh I am thinking. That is blocking my peace." or  "Oh! I am reacting to what that person said, filling my head with feeling, story, judgement and that is blocking me from experiencing peace, joy, love etc" .  We make a commitment to keep the sky above us ( which is in our mind and heart) as open as possible. We do our best not to cling to any clouds or attempt to push away clouds ( that only makes them more persistent and potentially stormy).  We just notice them. Clouds are going to come and go and we just notice.  Thoughts and feelings are going to come and go and we just notice. They will pass by on their own. We just notice!

Noticing the "I am"

The more we practice this the more we notice the blue sky, the more we fall into the blue sky and realize just how much a part of it we have always been.  "I am" the eternal , spacious  blue sky that notices the clouds that pass upon it.  "I am" the eternal, spacious observer that notices the thinking as it passes by the mind.

Hmmm! Well that is how I see it. What do I know? 

All is well! .