Separate the "isness' from the mind

It is important to differentiate between external circumstances and inner commentary about those circumstance.  We need to separate the 'isness' from the mind.
-Eckhart Tolle (The Never Ending Present Moment)

Before I begin, I want to make it clear that when I speak about challenges here, I am not speaking about challenges like  the devastating loss members of this community have experienced  a few days ago.  It is not my place to comment on that type of intense trauma...a pain I can't even imagine.  I am simply talking about the challenges many of us face day to day: problems at work to a loss of a job, issues with house  maintenance or renovation to the loss of a house in a fire, problems relating to a  break-up or divorce , money troubles to a complete loss of income etc.  I am speaking about the challenges that we all face in varied forms and degrees.

Another  Need for Separation

I think it is important to once again use separation to make the distinction between the life circumstances we encounter and what we tend to say about them in our minds or to other people. 

An Example

So let's just say, for example, you run into some money troubles.  You suddenly realize that you owe more than you can pay. Automatically most of us  jump right to the 'reaction', don't we?  We find ourselves sweating, feeling a bit sick to the stomach as we clench our jaws and run to the phone to tell someone about the 'terrible thing' that showed up in our lives.  Right? 

If we slow it down and rewind the tape, we will see that the reaction was preceded by a fear based feeling of anxiety, stress, overwhelm, or panic.  That feeling was preceded by a deeply entrenched or conditioned belief system.  "If I do not have enough money, "I" (this person I identify as) will not survive physically, psychologically or socially." That belief was probably triggered by a conscious thought: "Oh no.  This can't be happening.  This 'should' not be. Why is this happening to 'me'?" And that thought stream was probably preceded by the life circumstance presenting itself to your conscious awareness in a given moment. This all happens so fast we are not even aware of any distinctions or separations.  We are lost in the reactivity.

Making the separation

We can, however, make a separation between what is happening and how we are reacting to it. So we have external circumstances, the 'isness' of a present moment .  In this case we have the realization that we owe more money than we presently have.  That in itself is not pleasant but it simply is what it is in this moment.  It in itself can not break us or make us.  It is just a realization about an external event.

Then we have the mind's reaction to it.  The thoughts begin to circulate in our heads with ego's encouragement very quickly.  Ego was probably waiting in the background, rubbing its grubby little hands together, for such an opportunity. The thoughts in the conscious mind come in and they are full of resistance.  "This can't be; this shouldn't be." We resist because the core belief in the subconscious mind is that a loss of money, a big debt, will be detrimental to who we believe we are.  It will destroy the 'me' we think we are. This creates an emotional reaction of fear.  Our behavioural response is then to avoid the nasty feeling, avoid experiencing what is, as well as the moment.  So we run away from it and get lost in the "concepts", the "drama", the 'story' and the "sharing of the tragedy" to further feed ego. This is where the suffering is.  It has very little to do with the actual external event but mostly the mind's reactive commentary.

So what do we do?

We separate the life event, the external circumstance from what the mind says about it.  In order to do that we can do several things:

•  We begin by practicing staying alert and aware of what is happening both around us and in the mind. The more connected to presence we are, the more likely we can do this with ease.  We do our best to stay connected to the deeper dimension, our inner spaciousness, the backgrounds of our lives (see April 18th's entry). We are given opportunity to  practice this connection all the time and not just in the easy situations or while we are immersed in a spiritual comfort zone. We are given many opportunities to practice by Life,  in the face of challenge.  In the face of your challenges if you are present you do not convert the challenge into suffering, you just be with what it is. -Eckhart Tolle.
• We don't expect that we won't slip up because we will.  We will get lost in commentary and reactivity again and again but the trick is to become aware that we got lost. The ability to step out of a stream of thinking and rise above it, that is transcendence. -(Eckhart Tolle, 2019) We practice transcendence.
• If you  find your self stuck and having a hard time separating mind from 'isness', ask yourself: "Where is my life?"  Most of us will answer with more story but catch yourself doing that  and ask again, "where is my life?"  It is not in your mind, not in words or concepts...it is not in yesterday or in the future.  It is right here and right now.  And really how much challenge do you have right here and right now?

Separation can be helpful

So once again separating what is real from what isn't can prove helpful in our awakening.

All is well

References

Eckhart Tolle (2019) The Never Ending Present Moment. Retrieved from  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jn706KxF-6k