Soothe!

Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy.
Sai Baba (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/help_others)

As I write on, pretending to be the expert I am not lol...knowing not the truth in what I say only "feeling" it....I want to speak a little more on the idea of lowering resistance so that we can fulfill our function here.  Remember that our function...our true function is God's/Source's/Life's purpose for us not ego's. 

Our function is happiness.

We have only one true function, according to A Course,  and that function, according to Abraham, is to lower resistance in ourselves and in others so God and Source can enter. Happiness and true function are the same thing ( Lesson 66 ACIM).  We are here to be happy and to help others to be happy. We are happy when we allow for the high energy of Source to flow through us, when we allow for God's presence in our lives.

We know we are off track, off purpose when we are not happy, when we are stuck in the fear based emotions below "acceptance of what is".  We are resisting and the more we resist our purpose the worse we will feel and the more that resistance will show up  as negative life circumstances.  According to Abraham, all these negative emotions and experiences are just signs that we are out of alignment or "pinching ourselves off from Source." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wYAfI1lIO4)We in our physical world need for labels may call it depression, anxiety, bad luck...but it simply is a result of being out of alignment with God's function for us.  We are meant to be happy!

How do we go from fear based emotion to happiness?

We leave fear behind for the happier rungs on our emotional ladder, by lowering resistance to it. We climb one ladder rung at a time.  How? We soothe ourselves step by step, rung by rung.  We soothe our thoughts so that we feel a bit better, a bit better and a bit better and until we eventually feel the soothing presence of "relief".  Then we reach for the next ladder rung, the next emotion that feels better...again and again and again until we find ourselves climbing past fear into happiness.  We soothe!

What soothes?

We use whatever we can to soothe...words, change of thought, music, the basics: exercise, fresh air, water and healthy food, fun, adventure, change of place, pets, a nap, relaxation, prayer, inspiration from others, mediation.  And we stop focusing on what we don't want, what doesn't feel good! We need to open the resistance gate and make ourselves available for Source to enter for a few minutes so many times a day...not through busy work, numbing activities or substances but through stillness and silence. We bring ourselves up vibrationally...focusing more on feeling good than doing good...because it is only when we feel good that we can do good.

Doing Good

It is only when we are up that we can turn around and reach down to pull a brother up.  We may, as I often am, be overwhelmed with the suffering of others and we may reach in blindly from our own dark spaces to help...but we do little good like that.  We cannot bring another up vibrationally if we are standing on a ladder rung of worry, concern, hopelessness or fear.  What we offer them there is just more negativity.  We need to see them in their full potential and focus on what we want for them...not on where they are at.  We need to feel good about them before we can help them feel good about themselves.  We need to offer genuine hope and compassion from a place above, showing them the light that awaits them there.

Then we can soothe with love, positive praise, shared optimism and positive vision. We soothe the wounds with ointment that heals not with cheap remedies made of ingredients  that have been mixed together by  conditioned belief that do more harm than good.

Be Happy!

God has the perfect remedy and it is provided to you when you are happy. Be the  soothing ointment that heals by being healed. :) Be happy.

All is well in my world.

References

ACIM (2007) Lesson 66 in A Course in Miracles: combined volume: Third Edition. Mill Valley: Foundations For Inner Peace.

Abraham workshop January 2018. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wYAfI1lIO4

Please note:  I am not sure about the copyright legalities and ethics related to linking YouTube videos.  At the same time, I received some of the above info from this video and need to credit it.

Lesson Two: Getting Beyond Resistance to knowing who you really are

Your entire work is about lowering your resistance.
Abraham Hicks

To get to who we really are, we need to first get past the resistance we have set up in the thinking part of our minds. If we have any resistance barricades up, we will not only never discover who we are while we are alive, we will never discover just how amazing life can be when we fully embrace that beingness.

There are many, many quotes and teachings from Abraham and others on this thing called resistance. I do not care if you buy into the teacher or their teachings.  Accepting the source of this information may be a challenging thing for our physically focused minds to do...but I want you to listen to the words as you close your eyes and repeat them to yourself: Your entire work is about lowering your resistance. Concentrate on nothing else but those words.  How do they resonate inside you?  How do you feel when you hear them?  Do they seem like truth?

What the heck do they mean?

Understanding what this phrase means can be an amazingly freeing revelation. Let's look at the two major words we see in this simple line: work and resistance.  What do each of them mean?

What is work?

When you just say the  word "work" do you not get a sense of something you have to do, something that will require effort?  When we think of work we may picture Grumpy and Bashful trudging off to the diamond mines with their pick axes and shovels over their shoulders whistling away as Snow White busies herself in the tiny little cottage,  stooping over to avoid hitting her head on the very low rafters while she swifter-sweeps  and makes the tiny little beds and washes the tiny little dishes.  These guys are working! We may also know as we picture this that Workman's Comp will decline any claims related to work related accidents or repetitive strain injuries because the Dwarfs chose to wear  stocking caps instead of  safety helmets and did not provide the ergonomically correct environment for their unpaid employee. Okay...okay I digress.  I got a little carried away.

The quote is saying that your work...what you are here to "do"...your purpose...any focused action you take on should be directed solely to lowering your resistance. Your work is your function here.  Lowering resistance is your function.  So if you are going to put effort into anything...put it in to lowering resistance.

What is the Resistance we need to lower?

Resistance is a block, a barricade...something that slows down or prevents something from getting out or through. When we speak of finding out who we really are and allowing that true light of who we are to shine through/ God to shine in...we have a tendency to resist.  We often do that resisting through our thinking and more accurately through tapping into our tired old belief systems that spew nonsense about our limitations and gives us all the reasons we can't do something, instead of tapping into this inner knowing that exists beyond that.  The thinking becomes a barricade between these little limited beings we identify with and who we really are; between our  retraction and our expansion; between our petty little goals and God's goals for us; between us and our awareness of God.  Resistance prevents our inner Self from shining through, from guiding us, from healing the world.

A Course in Miracles states that we have only one function as a human being, that our work is simply in Salvation.  Salvation involves  opening ourselves and others up to who we really are. How do we open up?   We open up by lowering resistance through undoing all the thinking that ego has placed between us and God. (ACIM)

 

Relax!

 



How do we know we are resisting?

It might be easier to describe how you will know when you are not resisting and allowing your inner Self to shine through:

When you are appraising; when you are appreciating, when you are acknowledging value, when you are looking for positive aspects, when you are laughing, when you are applauding, when you are joyous,  when you are feeling that feeling of appreciation pulsing through you, in those times , there is NO Resistance within you. You are, in those moments, vibrationally up to speed with who you really are.
( Abraham:  http://theabeforum.com/forum2/8289.html)

Basically speaking, if you are happy you are not resisting...you are experiencing who you really are.  When you are anything but happy. You are resisting.

How do we lower resistance?

Lowering resistance, accepting our roles in salvation and finding happiness  is not this big 100 paged manual  process.  Ironically,  it does not involve a lot of doing, fixing, effort..."work".  It involves quieting , stilling and being open and willing to accept our true function and all that God has in store for us.  Who we really are is already at peace...it is already happy but our thinking and our compulsive doing is in the way of our knowing that.

We get so turned around by this notion of goals, purposes and work...that we mix up God's goals for us, God's purpose for us with our own petty goals.  We may put a great deal of energy, effort, mental concentration into achieving things...like status, money, reputation, success, perfect relationships and material things we neglect to simply be with God and what is meant for us....which is so easy because it already is!  When our extreme efforts do not yield the results we think they "should"...we allow ourselves to feel terrible, feel lack, feel loss and separation and blame it all on external events.   When we do that we just pull ourselves further and further away from who we are. We create even more resistance.

As long as we are feeling miserable, focusing on what we don't have and the fact that life isn't the way we think it should be...we are resisting.  The trick is not to attempt to do the impossible...change the external world to match our idea of should...but to change our inner dialogue by putting away the "should" to match a lack of resistance and an openness to what is.

A Course in Miracles speaks to the idea of releasing resistance. We need to commit to salvation.  We do that through :"....the recognition of salvation as your function, and the relinquishment of all the other goals you have invented for yourself."  (ACIM: Lesson 65: 1:5) All these other things we put so much time and effort in are not what is really important...they do not "make" us happy.  Knowing who we are will.


"It is your resistance to "what is" that causes you suffering..." The Buddha

It is so simple.  It is not about doing.  It is about being. Accept what is without resistance.


So let's get back to the teaching.


Your entire work is about lowering your resistance. We need to put away our suffering thoughts and accept who we are. Our only function is salvation. We find salvation when we simply remove the resistance to peace and open up to it.  Our function is not really work...it actually involves no work.  It isn't action or doing, it is simple being.  It doesn't mean going against the flow but going with it. It doesn't require effort and strain.  It simply requires ease.

All we need to do to be happy people is relax...stop ...be still and  open up to who we always were.

How cool is that?

All is well.

References/Recommended reads

Abraham Hicks. (2007) Quotes on Releasing Resistance. The Abe Forum. Retrieved from http://theabeforum.com/forum2/8289.html

Foundations For Inner Peace. (2007) A Course in Miracles: Combined Text: Third Edition. Mill Valley: Foundations for Inner Peace.

Inspired to Create

Being inspired by something might be one of the most incredible feelings ever.
unknown (http://www.picturequotes.com/being-inspired-by-something-might-be-one-of-the-most-incredible-feelings-ever-quote-701992)

I have been a roller coaster of emotions the last few days after receiving the expected news that an assumption about me was still sticking.  I had to face the reality it probably would never change and I would have to accept the consequences of it. The sticky fly paper around me that seems to catch and cling to the emotional energy of others has also been renewed and revamped by my own projected negativity. (Negativity sucks in negativity:))  I walked away from some classroom and parenting experiences  with a mixture of desperation, anxiety, frustration, hope, and anger glued to me, completely exhausting me. I also felt somewhat disappointed in myself because, instead of responding in a loving and understanding way to these emotions, addressing the need to be heard in others, I reacted and became defensive instead. Sigh!  I have so much learning and growing left to do. lol

Point is: Something about this whole experience inspired me to write. I awoke at four am finding myself partaking in a quirky little habit I adopted since childhood to soothe myself in the midst of turmoil. (I won't share the habit because it is the basis of my story...when [and I won't say if...I will say when] it gets published I will tell you about it then. ). 

The story came to me in sentences and pictures.  I tried to tell myself that I would store the words in the back of my mind until morning but that wouldn't do.  The compulsion to get up and write it down was just too strong. So that is what I did at 4:20 am and it felt soooooooo good! I love those unexpected moments of inspiration to create.  I think it is magical and I am so in awe to simply be a part of the process.

So...I will be busy working on that short story over the next couple of days.  It may take me from here.  It is all good. I know it  will offer a wonderful distraction from circumstances, allowing me into a place where I can just be abundant and whole, authentic and real as I do what I am meant to do...that we are all meant to do in some form or another...create!

I will catch you on the flip side!

All is well

Forgiveness

Do you not then begin to understand what forgiveness will do for you? It will remove all sense of weakness, strain and fatigue from your mind. It will take away all fear and guilt and pain.  It will restore the invulnerability and power God gave His Son to your awareness....It will help to make the day as happy for you as God wants you to be.  And it will help those around you, as well as those who seem to be far away in space and time, to share this happiness with you.
ACIM Lesson 62

That is why I choose to forgive!  :)

All is well.

Assumption

The worst mistake of first contact, made throughout history by individuals on both sides of every new encounter, has been the unfortunate habit of making assumptions. It often proved fatal.
David Brin (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/assumptions)



Assumptions? What are they?

Assumptions are preconceived ideas, constructs and opinions we make about other people and things.  In my Communications class I am constantly teaching my students to "Never Assume"  because when you do you make an ass of "u" and an ass of "me".  And that is what we tend to do when we assume.  We make fools of ourselves and/or the other person on the other side of the encounter.  Or it(the assumption) does even greater damage as the above quote alludes to.  Assumptions are dangerous, nasty and unnecessary.  We know that don't we? Yet here we are constantly flinging assumptions in everyone's direction.

Karma

I bring this up because I am guilty of making assumptions.  I have made them and I make them. Karma has intervened as she often will to teach me the error of my ways.  :)  She has made me the prime recipient of a lovely long term assumption gift wrapped in beautiful Latin/Greek jargon and "professional opinion". Because of the gift wrapping the assumption stuck to me like glue and follows me everywhere I go.  The paper it is written on gets thicker and thicker, proving the assumption even more correct to all my "first encounters" who step away as quickly as I enter in whatever form I enter. No one sees beyond the paper because no one wants to disrupt the "expert wrapping" .  There I am beneath it all, waving my hands wildly around shouting, "You who...you up there, I am in here.  I am not the assumption.  Sure there is some truth in some of it...there always is...but I am not what they say I am.  Help me!"

Big long analogy to simply say...that others have made assumptions about me, incorrect ones, and it has cost me greatly. I am not what they say I am because I say I am what they say I am not. lol How's that for a mind twister? It doesn't matter anymore. Despite what it costs me in terms of help and life support,  I give up.  I can't fight it.  Well let me rephrase that...I choose not to fight it any longer.  I am too bloody tired. Let them think what they think.  (This is where I insert a big long pathetic sigh....and another...just for added effect.)

The Receiving End of Assumption

We all have been on the receiving end of an assumption at one time or another.  An opinion may have been formed about you and it may have stuck.  It may have  been passed along as it was in my case, as in many cases, until it became somewhat of a conviction in the minds of others. People tend to make choices and act on those assumption based convictions.  ( Another big sloppy sigh).  You may have been on the receiving end of those decisions.Others may have collected information and evidence in an attempt to prove that the assumption was not true but as is human nature...they probably found it a lot easier to gather whatever information they could to prove that it was. The assumption once formed tends to seal the well wrapped box around you.

So what do we do when we are on the receiving end, especially in this process of awakening?  What steps do we take to find peace of mind when we perceive suffering because of wrong assumption about us?  This is what I am in the process of doing.

Steps to dealing with Assumption:

• Validate that an assumption has indeed been made about you.  Heck sometimes we are just assuming that someone else is assuming something about us.  That is a lot of assumption soup to drown in.  Are you sure that someone thinks that of you or worse is passing it on? I know.
• Once you are sure determine how much it matters to your life goals.  If someone you barely know is just assuming that you are a bit "cold" when really you are just shy, how much does that matter? If your life partner assumes that you no longer love them  when you pull away, that's another matter.  Or as in my case...is your physical, emotional and financial  health effected because of it?  I lost  a full time job, any hope of getting external help in my search for wellness, support, my reputation as a person with great integrity to some degree, and all my life savings because of this assumption. So it cost me greatly in physical world terms.
• Find the learning and the truth in it.  There is always a smidgeon of truth in every assumption...something picked up by the other side that led to the formation of the  assumption in the first place.  Discover what that might be.There are some small truths in my case that I know could have led to the assumption made about me.  I can see that.  Heck, if the tables were turned I might be the one doing the assuming.(Wouldn't that be nice...to be on that side lol...joking!!!)   I accept that truth and do my best to learn from it. 
• Forgive the ones making the assumption.  Say what crazy lady?  You want to forgive those who put you in that awful place. Yeah!  I do.  I have learned that forgiveness heals...me.  It is not about the others, it is about me.  I do not want to carry around anger and blame any longer.  It is just too heavy.  I also know that I have made assumptions in the past so how can I justify blaming others who have made them about me.
• Find the blessing in the assumption.  Say what crazy lady?  You really are what they assume you to be, aren't ya? I look at it this way, after so many years of perceived suffering, if the assumption about me was never made than I would not have begun the awakening process and be where I am right now with so much awareness about what really is important.  If the assumption was not made about me and things turned out differently,  I would have been lulled back into the mundane state of doing, owning, surviving that I have been in for most of my life.  If the assumption was not made I would not have written my novel about the assumption. The assumption removed physical world validation from me and that led me to search inward for "real" validation. Now that is a blessing.
• Know the truth about what is real for you and most importantly who you are.  You know if what is assumed about you is true or not...that is really all that matters. We will never get the full approval of everyone nor do we need to.  The only approval you need to see you through even the hardest days is yours. I know what is true for me and I know what isn't.  I really do not need others to believe it and putting energy into trying to change minds so I change the circumstances of my life is just too damn exhausting.  Let them think what they will.  I, my loved ones and above all else God knows the difference.
• Know what you really want.  I want peace more than I want what a change in assumption would give me. Knowing that, why would I waste any more energy trying to attain a change in opinion from others when I can direct my energy to more peaceful pursuits.
• Do what is right in your heart. I pursued this for as long as I did for two reasons: I wanted to change opinion so that I could have the means to survive physically and financially.  Like I said this assumption was effecting my physical and financial health. I also pursued it out of an altruistic need to do what was right.  If I was suffering the negative consequences from such an assumption, others might be too.  I felt I had to make a stand for all of us. (Sorry guys...didn't get us very far...but it is not over yet...we can still speak our truth even if it doesn't pay the bills :)
• Pick yourself up and go on.  No one's opinion of you should ever keep you down for long.
• Stop making assumptions yourself. Now you know what it feels like.  Be kind and do your best to put away your assumptions and judgments about others.  Don't stop finding the good and the evidence for the person's expression of their truth until they tell you it is time to do so. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

I love this quote from Wayne Dyer who got it from the father of self actualization, Abraham Maslow,

To be self actualized is to be absent of the need for the good opinion of others.

Be absent of the need for good opinion.  It will not sustain you. Let people continue to make an ass of themselves by assuming if they want to but know they can never make an ass of you unless you give them permission to do so.

It is all good. All is well in my world.

Videos: Retraction and Expansion

More videos to share. I felt compelled today to share what I felt was some very important learning. At the same time I know I need practice speaking with some exposure, however limited and controlled it may be. So here I am.

I am adding two more unlisted videos.  I need to stress that they are unlisted for a reason.  I am fully aware that they are not yet ready for the full you tube public.  :) I share them here and only here.

A Little bit on Retraction and Expansion:

How to Expand Beyond a Retracted State.

Oh...it is so funny when I look at those videos and see all my little nuances that make me me: the bobble head movements, the William Shatner pauses in every sentence I try to create meaning in; the hand gestures that make me look like I am directing traffic as I speak to you; the facial expressions that would put any facial yogi to shame lol (not pretty); the new words I sometimes invent as I ramble on and all the unexpected  background noises of my busy little life that I take so for granted until I watch my videos.  Do you hear my old dog snoring in the second video? I love it! It is all so me..."little me" lol

Crappy video, maybe, but it is all so darn real and that is what I love about speaking...When I do a video at the last minute I come to the camera so unprepared. I have maybe two or three quotes written down on a piece of paper that I can't see or make out because my handwriting is so awful...I try to have a key word frame somewhere close by that guides me through my topics and can sometimes...when it is visible enough lol...be a visual aid for the audience. ..but that's it.  The rest is just like writing...I allow whatever needs to come out to come out and it surprises me each and every time.  That process is just so cool. Sloppy, impulsive and very, very real.  That is how you know that the messages I share here are near and dear to me.  It will show.  Well, I assume it will show. Who could or would fake such imperfection?

Thanks for stopping by.

Lesson Two: Being Willing to Let Go of the Story

Be alert and present and see that your identity is not your past story; who you truly are is the alert presence that is inseparable from the present moment. You are this, which has no name and no form.
Eckhart Tolle (http://www.azquotes.com/author/14703-Eckhart_Tolle/tag/past)

We all have a story. 

I have a story...a pretty interesting one, maybe, a little stranger than fiction lol but still it is just a story. I clung to it with white knuckles for decades because I thought my story explained why I was the way I was...it defined me. I found who I thought I was in it.  I would tell myself and others over and over again..."Oh! I want to let this go...it is just too painful" but all the while I would cling to my past.  Tighter and tighter, I clung, despite the pain, holding my breath against any one's direction to "let go." 

Truth is, I never really wanted to let go of my story no matter how much pain it may have caused.  I feared what the process of letting go entailed and I feared that if the story was gone so would I be.  The story, after all, has been with me forever and it has  become as familiar as family.  Just as I pull the old, "I can't help having blue eyes and  a nose that is a bit too big for my face...it is in my family genes." I pull out the "I can't help it when I screw up, make bad choices or hurt others...it is in my family story."  This story provides a great excuse for not living.

 I tell myself it  is a part of me now. It has become as much a part of me  as the ugly birth mark on the back of my hand.  Not pretty but something I fear would leave a big gapping ulcer of raw flesh if it were removed. I don't want that exposure.  I don't want that pain. So I tell myself it is me and I cling to it.

I cling to it.  I wrap my bony fingers and my overloaded mind around the  life events that will never be again. I  pathologically attach myself to a time that is nothing more than memory, giving solid form status to smoke. I allow the pain from that "Once upon a time, a long time ago, there lived..." to cast a shadow over my present, the only real life there is and ever will be.

For the first time in my life I am truly willing to let go. I want freedom from my past.  I want to embrace my now.  I want to embrace who I really am...this "alert presence."  I am ready and I know to be fully present as my true Self I need to let go of the story my little self clings to. I know it isn't going to be easy but heck hanging on to this story has not been easy either.

Maybe you are ready to let go of your story too...and if you are, this is what I believe we must do.
Two major steps are involved: Processing through the story and letting it go.

I. Processing through the story:

• Stop resisting the full nature of those memories.  We cannot keep supressing, stuffing or intellectualizing our way through pain.  There is a good chance that there are a lot of details, thoughts and emotions that you have not processed through completely related to these memories.  That is one of the reasons why we cling to our stories.  We have  stuffed them down so deep it is hard to retrieve it with anything but cold detached intellectualization. We may resist feeling.
• Tell your story to at least one person. (or more if you are so inclined).  Writing your story is so freeing even if you are not a writer. Put the story down in words, images, music. When you are ready you can pass it on. Just make sure you tell it initially to someone who is truly ready to hear it and to accept it as a gift and not a burden.  I recently made the error in my processing to give my written story to someone I thought would receive it as a gift and soon realized it was seen as a great burden.  This individual now has my story but doesn't want it...and I feel a part of me is lingering in an  unaccepting place.  I want to ask for it back but I do not know how. (Awkward! lol). The two others I have given it to see it as the gift it was intended to be. Just know that this is the most "exposing" thing you will ever do. So do your best to put that story in accepting, loving and appreciative hands or eyes or ears. Maybe ask if the recipient is ready and then judge accordingly before you share.
•  To truly process we may have to do what we didn't do then...feel it completely. We need to stop resisting and be  willing to feel the pain that lingers within.  Remember that emotional pain and trauma is trapped in your cells.  It can do damage, block energy flow, create illness.  It needs to be released. Feel it, experience it.  Yucky but necessary.  You may need help and time to do that.
• Accept your story and more importantly yourself despite your story.  Yep it happened...maybe your memories are foggy and you have done some fabricating to fill in missing details and blotches but it...whatever it was...happened.  It has caused a certain amount of pain. That pain has settled in your body and your heart. It has effected your beliefs and the way you see the world and yourself.  EFT may help you get to a level of acceptance if you are so inclined. Or try visualization, Post Traumatic Trauma Release, PMR, affirmations etc...anything that will help you accept fully without resistance your experience, your feelings and yourself!

II. Letting go of the story:

• Once you have truly processed through your story you can begin the process of letting go. This starts with asserting a renewed willingness to let go. Are you truly willing to let go? Or are you still arguing and rationalizing who you are by your story?  Are you still saying: You don't understand what I have been through?  You don't understand what it was like and what it is like to be me because of it? But...but...but...this is what happened?  If you are doing that...you may not yet be willing to let go.
• Think, feel but don't dwell on your story for too long.  As soon as you find yourself rationalizing...you are  building up momentum, giving evidence to something that is no longer.  You are giving into ego's desire to resist the release. You need to feel with the sole intention to release.
• See your story as a movie you are watching in your head and the person playing you as just an actor. Remind yourself that you are the person in the seat watching the movie, not the person on the screen! Be willing to  close your eyes to shut out the story or get up and walk away from the screen. Just make the distinction between story and life now.
• Release it all.
• Get reconnected to your present moment. Be mindful of what is happening around you and inside you right now.  Just watch it. Experience it.  Know this is your life, the only life you have.
• Go back and check and see if the story is still stuck somewhere inside you.  When you think of those past memories how does your body feel?   Do you still feel intense anxiety, fear, sadness or a desire to numb, repress, supress or deny?  If you use EFT are your rankings still at a high number? If so...maybe you have some more processing to do. Go back and start over.
• Gently experience who you really are.  You are not a two dimensional figure on a screen, not a storybook character and not a story.  You are this observer, with no name or no form that is breathing and experiencing, living and smiling right here, right now. Be you.

I am still going through the last few steps, sometimes repetitively lol but like you I am determined to get there. I intend  to get beyond my story to who I really am. I hope you do the same because I have a strong feeling that who you are beyond the story has a lot more to offer the world than a fairy tale character ever could.

All is well in my world!

There is Nothing holding Us Back

Nothing holds me in this world. Only my wish to stay keeps me a prisoner.  I would give up my insane wishes and walk into the sunlight at last.
ACIM Lesson 57: 1

I read the above lesson yesterday (for the forth time maybe :)) and it triggered something in me.  I said to myself, after reading it, I have to write a poem about that.  So I came here a couple of times to write a poem about getting through the mental prison we create with our attachment to thought.  Nothing seemed to come out. Then it hit me, "I already wrote a poem about that." And I did ...a couple of summers ago...after spending a moment of escape from the stress of what awaited me inside the house .  That particular morning,  I snuck outside, curled up on a lawn chair and became consumed  with watching buttercups swaying in the breeze.  I knew I would have  to go back in and deal eventually but in that moment, just sitting there, I felt so connected, so alive and so free. Hmmm! I'll share because I believe it applies to Lesson Two.

Buttercups

I breathe in.

Tethered to the end

of feathery ribbons,

my eyes are pulled

to the buttercups

waving in the distance.

Yellow tutued dancers

gracefully perform on

elegant long bodies

that bend

backwards

and

forwards

while

billowing arms

extend into

the morning sky.

I breathe out.

 

Green limbs sweep

the earth

this way

and that

as bodies balance

on delicate point shoes.

I breathe in again.

 

For this brief moment

of what is,

I am mesmerized

by the dancers' perfection.

I am mesmerized

by the dance.

The brilliance of the

Choreographer’s artistry

surrounds me and

I am lost in a trance of now.

Like the dancing flowers

I am consumed by what is.

I breathe out.

 

 

Lulled by His orchestra,

I close my eyes.

I listen to the

majesty of every chord

as the June breeze

strums the delicate instruments

above my weary head.

He whispers to me

in the sweetest of voices

that I am home,

and His gentle Voice

drowns out

the nasty reprimands,

the ticking clocks,

and

the ringing phones

from the other world.

I smile and relax into

 this brief moment

of what is.

In and out

I breathe again

 

But the breath

gets stuck in my chest.

The other world’s noises

are determined to

disrupt the silence

and the stillness

of my now.

Suddenly,

I feel the pulling of

something cold

around my ankle.

I look down to see

the heavy iron shackles

and feel the tug of chain

pulling me back and away

from “Fairy land”,

from “irresponsibility”

and “make belief”.

I am being drawn so cruelly

from this brief moment

of what is

to the real world.

 

There I find myself once again

and I shiver on the cold floor

of painful memory,

beneath the ominous clouds

of future fantasy.

I pick up the uniform

of social expectation,

limitation

and

“real world” responsibility

and reluctantly

I put it on

as I am told to do.

It is heavy.

It weighs me down.

 

How I long for the flimsy

fabric of the dancer’s costume.

I want to run back

to their performance,

to lose myself in their

grace filled moment

but the chains

I have created

in my mental cell

hold me firm.

Unfriendly officers

armed with past and future

weapons

threaten me at every corner.

 

A model inmate,

I follow their orders

and their senseless directions

as I move around this

dark world

towards the “what ifs”

and the “whens”

that will never lead to freedom.

 

I cry out in silence

for the yellow tutued dancers

to free me.

In the emptiness of a busy day

of doing,

in the very prison wall

that surrounds me,

a window emerges

out of nowhere.

Through its small opening,

I see the yellow tutus

swaying back and forth.

The long elegant limbs

of the beautiful dancers

beckon me forward

into the light.

 

I hear the music

that makes me smile.

I feel the sun and wind

on my aging skin

and the gentle tugging

of this moment’s soft ribbons

against my willing flesh.

I am at last  willing to go.

 

I stop heeding the voices

of the armed guards around me

and they become

phantom shadows

with no solid hands

to hold me back.

I step out of the shackles

and the iron restrictions

that once held me here

become dust around me.

I bring a knee up

to crawl through

that small opening

but suddenly

there is no wall.

I am free.

There is no more confinement

for anyone or anything.

 

I enter the present

that calls me,

into this never ending

moment of

what is.

I find myself swaying,

dancing,

bending

being in unison  with

the yellow tutued buttercups

that dance life’s only song.

 

And I know I am alive.

 

Dale-Lyn June, 2016