Sunday, January 12, 2025

Two Birds in the Same Tree

 

He whom I have described to you as the Life of this universe, as present in the atom, and in the suns and moons - He is the basis of our own life, the Soul of our soul. Nay, thou art that.

Vivekananda

There is a lovely analogy I heard many times that research tells me comes from both the Rig Veda Samhita, the greatest of all the Vedas (writings that help to preserve the rites and traditions of Hinduism) and the Upanishads (writings about the philosophy of enlightenment associated with the Hindu religion [Jainism and Sikhism as well?] ) Vivekananda shares this story many times in his "Great Works" which I am reading from every night before I go to bed. It is a long, long, collection.  I am sure I will still be reading from it when I am 75 if I am still here on this planet lol. 

I read this story again last night and knew it was perfect timing to do so. I am going to share it in my own words. 

Two Birds in the Same Tree

Two birds sat on the same fruit tree.  One, a restless and hungry bird, jumped around on the lower branches from fruit to fruit attempting to quench a hunger it could not seem to quench.  It rustled the branches and created disturbance for all other insects, birds, and rodents that attempted to nest or feed on those branches. It broke off twigs and destroyed the growth of new leaves with its never-ending restlessness. It created a lot of noise. 

Another bird sat on the top branches with its colorful plumage radiating the day's golden light, especially around its stately head as if it was being coronated to high ranks by the sun itself. This bird was quiet and still for the most part but when the wind blew from the north it moved gracefully to the south; when the wind blew from the south it moved gracefully to the north. It did not jump around.  It did not make a lot of noise.  It simply sat there in its majestic pose and with its head up high taking in the rain when the rain fell; basking in the sun when the sun shone. It was a magnificent thing to see.

At first, the bird on the lower branch was completely unaware of the other bird above it.  It was too busy tasting the abundant fruit that grew in plenty on the lower branches.  Most of this fruit was sweet and quenching and the bird ate in delight, finding happiness with each bite, but only to find minutes afterwards that it was still hungry and thirsty again for more. So, it would jump noisily around from one fruit to another in search of that sweetness it came to prefer. Not all the fruit, however, was sweet. Despite its similar appearance, some of the fruit the bird hungrily dug its beak into turned out to be bitter and distasteful, making the little bird recoil and spit out the flesh as quickly as it took it into its mouth.  

The bird's restlessness increased.  It was desperate to eat only from the sweet fruit and to avoid tasting the bitter but there was no way to tell what the fruit would offer until its beak was already sunk well into the flesh of the fruit it had chosen and it had no choice, then, but to taste what was there. There was then, a lot of sucking in for this bird on the lower branches and a lot of spitting out, a lot of trial and error, and a lot of hopping between happiness and misery. There was very little calm or peace for this little bird living on the lower branches. Sigh!

Then one day the bird on the lower branches bit into an exceptionally bitter fruit that burned its throat and made its stomach turn with disgust.  No matter how much it spit out it could not get rid of the taste of the bitter fruit and the sickening feeling it left him with. In fact, with every attempt to spit out it was actually drawing in the bitterness to be stored in its cells, a reminder for the body not to ingest such fruit again. 

The bird was miserable. Recoiling from the onslaught to its senses it looked up and was suddenly taken by the golden aura of the bird on the top branches. This bird, the lower bird noticed, did not seem to be disturbed by bitter fruit.  It seemed satisfied and healthy. It was not restlessly jumping around. It was still and calm. There must be, the lower bird decided, an abundance of sweet fruit and an absence of bitter on those top branches where this majestic bird sat so satisfied and so stately. 

"I must move up," the bird exclaimed. "This other bird is quite high above me.  I must begin my climb one branch up at a time to a better life." 

The bird on the lower branches climbed to the branches above it, seeking the sweetness it was longing for and an end to bitterness.  It was still hungry, so it began to peck away at the fruit that was there.  At first, there indeed seemed to be nothing but sweet fruit and the bird was happy. It forgot all about the majestic bird on the top branches and its commitment to climb to the top.  It happily jumped from one fruit to another thinking to itself that this branch was paradise. This was where all the sweetness and the freedom from bitterness was. The bird thought it could indeed be happy here. That is until, it bit into another fruit that was more bitter, more repugnant than the one it had eaten on the lower branches.  Sick and miserable, it once again looked up at the bird on the top branches. glowing in the sun light.  This bird it noticed, had not moved since the last time the lower bird looked up.  The bird on the upper branches was not jumping from sweet to bitter fruit because it wasn't jumping at all.  It was not moving from wellness to sickness, from happiness to misery.  It was stable and calm where it was.  

The lower bird, so sick of going back and forth between the extremes of its experience, longed for that condition the upper bird was glowing with.  "I must keep climbing," it said. "I must get to the top." 

With every branch higher the little bird climbed, the canopy became thinner, and the sunlight was able to ripen and sweeten the fruit in an amazingly tempting way.  The little bird began to eat the fruit on every higher branch to find it even sweeter than the one below.  Its hunger intensified and once again it would begin to jump from fruit to fruit, thinking it was already in paradise, forgetting all about the bird on the top branches above it. That is until it hit that bitter fruit and became consumed with the suffering of it. Then it would look up and see a higher state of being reflected in the golden bird in the upper branches and it would begin once again to climb up higher towards it. 

The little bird climbed and climbed and climbed....it ate and ate, and it ate. It forgot its mission again, and again. And it remembered with every bit of suffering it endured...again, and again, and again. 

When the little bird from the lower branches was near the top but still too far away to touch the golden bird at the very top, it moved up to another branch where the fruit was even more abundant and tempting to its still hungry belly. From this high up, it could smell the sweetness coming from the sun ripened fruit and the lowly hunger stirring within became so intense the bird could not resist. It began to eat of the most divine tasting fruit it had ever tasted. Sweet, sweet, sweet... and was once again, convinced that it had reached the top, forgetting all about the bird above it.   But as on all the other branches, once again it bit into a bitter fruit.  This time the bitterness was so intense, the juice so toxic it made the bird so sick and miserable, it longed for death. It lay on the branch writhing in pain and once again looked up. It saw the still, calm, majestic bird on the top branches that was neither searching for the sweet or avoiding the bitter; that was neither dependent on the body being well or succumbing to the feeling of the body being ill; and that was not desperately trying to be happy nor desperately trying to avoid misery. 

"That is what I want and need," the lower bird said once again. "I must stop chasing after sweetness and running from the bitterness. I must get up there." 

The lower bird pulled himself up from the high branch it was laying on and moved slowly and painfully up to the branch above. Instead of eating there, it climbed to the next branch and then the next.  As it got closer to the top, the lower bird noticed how the golden reflection from the higher bird was now landing on its own feathers making them dance with delight. The little bird became inspired to keep climbing.  It then felt its body getting lighter and lighter the higher it climbed toward the magnificent bird at the top of the tree they shared for years. It noticed how its own claws that were grasping for the branches began to melt away, its beak seemed to disappear from its vision as it got closer to its destination. Then just as it approached the top branch ...the lower bird felt itself slowly melting away as it was absorbed into the body of the majestic golden lighted bird that sat so peacefully at the top of this tree.  The lower bird suddenly realized there was only one bird in the tree the whole time.  The little bird from the lower branches was and has always been the higher bird.

Now, I could summarize that and explain it but it could never be as clear as to how Vivekananda explains it in the below:

The lower bird was, as it were, only the substantial-looking shadow, the reflection of the higher; he himself was in essence the upper bird all the time. This eating of fruits, sweet and bitter, this lower, little bird, weeping and happy by turns, was a vain chimera, a dream: all along, the real bird was there above, calm and silent, glorious and majestic, beyond grief, beyond sorrow.  

The upper bird is God, the Lord of the universe; and the lower bird is the human soul, eating the sweet and bitter fruits of this world. Now and then comes a heavy blow to the soul. For a time, he stops the eating and goes towards the unknown God, and a flood of light comes. He thinks that the world is a vain show. Yet again the senses drag him down, and he begins as before to eat the sweet and bitter fruits of the world. Again an exceptionally hard blow comes. His heart becomes open again to divine light; thus gradually he approaches God, and as he gets nearer and nearer, he finds his old self melting away. When he comes near enough, he sees he is no other than God, and he exclaims, "He whom I have described to you as the Life of this universe, as present in the atom, and in the suns and moons - He is the basis of our own life, the Soul of our soul. Nay, thou art that."

All is well in my world.

Swami Vivekananda ( n.d.) 2.6 Practical Vednata and other Lectures. The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda. Kindle Edition

Thursday, January 9, 2025

Everything is Beautiful n Its Own Way

 In its own way, everything is beautiful.

Michael A. Singer

More words of wisdom from today's podcast:

  • It takes will to resist reality; it doesn't take will to accept reality. 
  • The moment unfolding in front of you is very special-you get to experience it.
  • You are God's ambassador for the moment unfolding in front of you...you got a job to do...to experience the moment in front of you...Instead of complaining, say, "I am honored to have the experience I am having."
  • What does it mean to honor and respect this moment that is unfolding in front of you regardless of what it is offering? 
  • Don't get rid of preferences...get rid of the reasons why you have preferences...samskaras
  • The moment in front of you is just a moment in the universe, the same as any other moment in the universe...we just can't handle it becausee it is in front of  this "me'. 
  • You were and are in a state of complete transcendence...universal consciousness...that which you are...consciousness and form dancing together...one with everything...but something happens that pulls your focus down to this one thing away from being able to see and experience everything at once...consciousness is distracted away from universal consciousness onto one small thing ( the personal drama) 
  • We fear rejection from others but people are not rejecting us, they are rejecting themselves...it isn't that they don't like us...they don't like the part of them that emerges when something about us triggers their patterns...the same way they are not loving and honoring us...they like the way something about us stimulates those things they have stuffed in me. 
  • so much more...have a listen
All is well!

Michael A. Singer/ Sounds True/ Temple of the Universe. ( January 9, 2025) Transcendence: Living Fully with Peace and Openness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbllSgr65WY&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Tuesday, January 7, 2025

The Most precious Fuel

The most precious fuel for the human soul is truth. 

-what came to me in a dream last night








 All is well!

Stop Chasing After Disturbance

 Chaos demands to be recognized and experienced  before letting itself be converted into a new order.

Herman Hesse

The mind's addiction to negative drama often gets us chasing after disturbance.  Instead of just peacefully watching and participating without attachment to the ripples caused by the uncomfortable or unpleasant experiences of life ...we have a tendency to chase after them, don't we? To do something about them. Then, what do we do when we get them? We cling to them by stuffing and storing them inside. Hmm! How healthy is that? 

Well, I wrote this little poem a few months ago related to this chasing after and clinging to disturbance that most of us do and I put it up on my video page as some spoken word.  Why I put imperfect poetry in imperfect videos up, I may never know lol. This disturbance-chasing-and-need-for-redemption ego certainly doesn't like it, let me tell ya.  Maybe that is why I do it.  I am so sick of listening and following the directions of an egoic mind,

 Anyway, all is well.



Monday, January 6, 2025

Not Getting Disturbed by the Insignificant

 Nothing real can be threatened

Nothing unreal exists.

Herein lies the peace of God.

Introduction to A Course in Miracles

I need to remind myself of that over and over again. We all should.  It helps to bring us back to what is real and important...to steer us away from fear back into love. Hmm!

What is Fear. F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real. What is the creator and maintainer of the fear? Ego...this self concept we created and have come to believe we are...and that which does everything it can  to convince us that our fear causes are real and out there....is the creator an maintainer of our fear. 

Michael Singer reminds us in somewhat paraphrased form,

You are not the ego. You are not the sum of your learned experiences. You are the consciousness that is aware of your psyche-the sum of your learned expereinces.  You are the indwelling being inside that self concept that you pulled around yourself.  

Yoganada said that the  masquarading self is the ego molded by our past experiences. 

Peace is our birthright.  It is who we are.  Yet, we are always getting disturbed. 

How do we stop getting disturbed by Life and thought and emotion...all that is so statistically insignificant compared to what is real? 

The peace is in knowing who we really are and who we are not  as we commit to allowing this masquarading self erode away and  as we let go and release all the samskara junk we stored for years. This is the only way to not get disturbed by the unreal.  

All is well. 

A Course in Miracles...Foundation for Inner Peace

Michael A. Singer/ Sounds True/ Temple of the Universe (January 6, 2024) The Art of Living in the Now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMEVyj-IoLA&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Sunday, January 5, 2025

Noticing the Unhealthy Mind

 

Spirituality is about noticing what you mind is doing and noticing that it ain't too healthy. 

Michael Singer

I have been struggling to meditate lately with a clear and empty mind. I get pulled into thoughts about all the drama going on oustide me and inside me so quickly.  I catch myself and say" Just a thought"  "Just thinking" and I ask the question, "Who is thinking these thoughts?"  "Who am I?" I might find a second or two of shunyata before I am pulled back into a thought stream again. My addiction to thinking is pretty prevalent in my life right now.  This "drama" induced thinking is so powerful.  I do forget that I am not the personal mind that creates this type of thinking. I become the character in life's drama.

I know thoughts are just thoughts, and 'personal'' human events...regardless of how intense they might seem...are just statistically insignificant. Yet, this drama playing out in front of me is so compellling...so well scripted and orchestrated to draw my personal mind into it...that I get lost in character both when I am facing the events in present time and when I am thinking about them in future and past tense.  I forget that I am simply playing a role here. I forget that I am just the actor and not the tragic heroine in this play. I really get lost in character.  Hmm! Everything seems so real and so tragic. 

I miss "empty mind" moments. I miss being the actor enjoying playing this role. I miss being in the Seat of Consciousness.  I am still able to be the "witness" for a while but there is state of being that exists beyond the witness consciousness that I long to reconnect to. It is a struggle to get back to it. Personal thinking mind is just so powerful right now...it is hard to seperate from it. 

I had a quick visualization last evening during my practice.  I saw myself sitting in meditation like a well lit lamp and then I watched as this cloudy veil or shade kind of descended over the light dimming it...making everything foggy.  I realized that who I am at the core level is light but this focus on thought and life event is veiling that light of who I am.  It is dimming the experience of peace. 

Why is this veil so thick right now?

I have fear in my heart. Fear is of ego...of this veil or shade...and it makes us forget who we are.  I have fear over what the people we have been dealing with...lead by one toxic personality...will do next. My body is actually in fight or flight.

I had another visualization...or maybe it was a dream (I only remember waking up with it in my head)...of a large cement culvert around a large deep and dark  hole.  The rim of the culvert was fairly narrow and challenging to walk around.  My son and I were needing for some reason to circle this culvert to prove something to someone. We had to make so many circles around to prove ourselves...and it was deterimental that we did. But there they were standing and watching. This one toxic person ( the ring leader of the family, someone I once thought of as a friend) began  pouring oil all over the cement in an attempt to make it slippy so we would fall in.  We cannot stop to stop her because we have to make so many circles in order to prove ourselves. We try to tell those that are ordering us to complete these circles what she is doing but they don't care. We still need to make our circles and it is sooo slippy. My son, who is walking in front of me, slips on the oil and I reach out to grab him, losing my own balance, before the dream or visualization ends. 

This is just a fear-created thought but it weighs so heavy on me. I felt so much in that visualization or dream: powerlessness, fear, worry for my son, desperation, the injustice of it, the complete disbelief over how far humans will go for control, and hate. 

It is a very negative thought and it haunts me. I pay attention to it.  I focus on it.  It pulls me in and it pulls me down. It pulls me away from empty mind and I begin to believe it, instead of the peaceful center, is my reality.  I begin to believe this character I am playing in this drama is who I am...a victim whose destiny is controlled by a villian. 

Man...what do you do with that?

I need to remind myself that it is just the personal mind that is talking, not who I really am. It is my ego not my soul. And the drama created by this mind is only real to egos.

Syncronistically, I listened to Michael Singer today talk about this. In somewhat paraphrased form this is what I heard:

You are in there  noticing what the mind is saying= witness consciousness= witnessing the mind instead of being the mind. You are the consciousness experiencing what the ego is doing

You are so attached to staring at the personal mind...Ego is like a little computer program running constantly inside the mind...built on past experiences and the development of preferences and aversions

Thought patterns are built in a tiny part of the infinite mind...

We need to examine our relationship with our mind...we are not our personal mind...it is just a copulation of things we collected and stuffed on top of this field of energy we call mind and we identified with these things

We created a self concept...and a self concept is not who we are...it is just something we made up in our mind to define this 'self'

We need to just stop listening and put our attention somewhere else...We don't have to listen to what personal mind says...

We need to learn there is always  peace inside despite the fact we have this ego and we need to stop feeding it...

Mind tends toward negative thinking...so positive thinking can be a helpful distraction from the negative mind's effect

If you are filled with joy it doesn't matter so much what happens

I would rather feel love than fear

Soul birth= the release of samskaras that block the flow of Sat Chit Ananda

Hmm! I would rather feel love than fear.  I would rather be free of any blockages that pollute and disrupt the flow of peace and love within me. 

This experience of life events  is helping me to release some old blockages so I can get pure and clean again. I see what my mind is doing and I know I don't have to listen to it.  This personal mind is not who I am.  It is just something I am addicted to.  It is time to get sober. 

You can get more stinkin with thinking than you ever can with drinking ...

Hmm!

All is well.

Michael A. Singer ( November, 2024) The Mind Unveiled. From Addiction to Awareness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiQY5WknNOY&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=9



Saturday, January 4, 2025

Coming to Feel We Are the Eternal Universe

 

The myths underlying our culture and underlying our common sense have not taught us to feel identical with the universe but only parts of it, only in it, only confronting it...aliens. We are quite urgently in need of coming to feel we are the eternal universe.  

Alan Watts

These are some gems of wisdom gained from listening to Alan Watts today:

  • The idea of a difference between matter and spirit does not work anymore...physics stopped asking, "What is matter?" because matter could only be described by its form and what it does.  We can attempt to see right down to the subatomic particles but never arive at basic stuff because there is no stuff there
  • Stuff is a word for the world as it looks when our eyes are out of focus
  • All we can talk about is pattern and we cannot talk about the stuff these patterns are made of
  • The world is more than some passive, unintelligent junk made by a master Potter...it is a dance of design
  • Nor is the world just blind energy or random energy
  • We are not seperate from nature nor do we need to fight nature in order to survive. We are nature
  • Why be hostile to nature?  We grow out of this physical universe in exactly the same way as an apple grows out of the apple tree. 
  • Because of these two theories...(Genesis and scientific materialism/neutonian physics)  we come to believe we are not of this world.
  • We come to believe that: Only you yourself exist inside your skin?
  • We are not a result of the big bang...we are the process of the big bang. We are all the primordial energy of the universe but we have learned to define ourselves as seperate from it.
  • There are no such things as seperate things or events...that is just a way of talking and thinking  about our expereince. 
  • A thing is a noun and a noun is not a thing of nature...it is a figure of speech...a concept
  • All energy is wiggly yet we try to capture the wiggly world with a net.  A net is something regular that we can use to measure the wiggle, breaking it up into bits...and these bits of wiggles are things or events. 
  • In nature...in the physical world...in reality... the wiggle isn't bitted. 
  • We are all as continuous with the physical world as the wave is with the ocean. 
  • Our consciousness has been hypnotised and influenced so that we do not feel a part of this continuim...so that we believe we  are just bits of the wiggle. 
  • We are nothing but something that happens between the maternity ward and the cremotorium... is what we really believe in the fully automatic model...
  • We only go on if the game is worth the gamble. The game is worth the gamble.
  • In physics prickly people believe the basis of all matter is particle...the goo people believe the basis of all matter is waves
  • If there is any such thing as intelligence and love and beauty  you found it in other ppl. ...it exists in human beings. If it is there in us it is symptomatic of the scheme of things. 
  • The earth is not a big rock infested with living  organisims any more than your skeleton is bones infested with cells. 
  • This geological entity, Earth, grows people. 
  • When as a scientist you describe the behaviour of a human organism you describe what a person does....you cannot define yourself by what this person is inside the skin. Need to describe the environment.
  • We really have one system of behaviour.  What I am involves what you are. I don't know who I am unless I know who you are. ...We are not seperate.
  • We and our environment and all of us are interdependent systems. 

What you call the external world is as much you as your own body.  Your skin does not seperate you, it is a bridge from which the external world flows into you and you flow into it.

All is well!

Official Alan Watts Org. (2020) Alan Watts-What is Reality? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpHqYnFELLE&t=3175s

Friday, January 3, 2025

The Unspeakable World

But now a great thing in the street

Seems any human nod,

Where shift in strange democracy

The million masks of God

C.K. Chesterton

Imagine seeing behind every human nod...God behind the mask every human wears. Imagine being able to see infinite colour and hear endless sounds. Imagine acting with nothing but inspiration in your heart and absolute stillness in your mind. Imagine experiencing all the things the senses are picking up from this world around you without naming, labelling, or conceptualizing any of it. Imagine. discovering the magic of the most ordinary moment the mind so often ignores. Imagine, seeing no difference between the transcendental world and the everyday world. Imagine fully living in the "Unspeakable world." (Korzybski)

Alfred Korzybski, a polish born engineer and philosopher, also said that " The map is not the territory." ...meaning that the experience of Life cannot be adequately reduced to symbols: language or the mind's interpretation of what the senses are picking up. Life  is not our thoughts. 

Alan Watts tells us in the below linked video:

Just as you have to stop talking to hear what others have to say, you have to stop thinking to find out what life is about.

You can only be truly creative when the mind is still

When you don't name things any longer you start seeing them

Imagine truly "being" in Life instead of just thinking and talking about it.

All is well in my world.

Alan Watts/T & H (August, 2024) Alan Watts For When You Need To Stop Thinkinghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVerqpMjYYg

Wikipedia ( January 2025) Alfred Korzybski https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Korzybski


Thursday, January 2, 2025

No Shame! No Blame!

 Acknowledgement has great power. ...Merely acknowledge and accept as valid everything that goes on inside you and who you are....Whoever you are at the core, just let yourself be that way....There is an old saying in therapy that captures this principle well: You have got to be where you are to get to where you are going. If you resist and deny where you are and who you are, its hard to move onto where you want to be.

Bill O'Hanlon 

We have tendency when we resist events, what others are doing, or what we are feeling...to shame or blame.  We feel shame for our inadeqauacies or we blame others or Life for theirs. 

I goof up so much in my practice...and sometimes I sink into shame for my lack of evolution or spirituality.  I sometimes blame others for their lack of evolution or spirituality. I am not always very forgiving. If I didn't judge either as "bad, wrong, shouldn't be"  there would be no need for forgiveness...there would just be acceptance and appreciation of being where we are at. 

Hmm! There really is no room for shame or blame in this growth and learning we are here to do as human beings. 

All is well!

Michael A. Singer (January, 2025) Reconnecting with your Natural State of Joy and Love. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6EJWp20Kpg&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1


Wednesday, January 1, 2025

Ceasing to Be Distracted by That Which You Are Not

You are in the world doing your thing but you are not...You are literally God descended playing in His universe and you are aware of it every single second...Realization is not a philosophy...you do not have to defend it...you are It.

Michael A. Singer

 I love philsophy because I love to use my thinking mind to contemplate higher ideals. Of course, the more I philosophize, the less I realize and actualize. Sigh.

Philopsphopy, according to what Michael Singer shares in the below linked podcast,  is what your mind does and truth is simply who you are. Philosophy is of the mind and truth is the experience of  reality. As I evolve I am seeking truth over a philosophy. (But I am still drawn to philosophy!) 

I have, obviously, been intrigued by yoga philosophy for many years. The yoga philosophy did not come from mind...but some very great being who sat down one day and all of a sudden had the realization that they were the one that was looking at things and not what they were looking at. This is experiencing reality directly.

You are not going to know consciousness by thinking about it or looking away from it to what it is looking at. No one can know consciousness more than you can.  Why? Because you are it

Why don't we know this consciousness that we are? Because we are distracted away from it into the drama of a self concept called "me". Our "me" is riddled with samskaras that block the realization of who we are.  We need to cleanse away these samskaras.  

Cleansing means knowing that stuff stored inside needs to come up ...don't hav eto go down to pull it up...just need to let it come up ...just let go of your stuff

That way we can become free of the distractions and instead of being pulled into the play of thought and emotion we can stay where we are and have always been: In the Seat of Consciousness.  We begin to experience truth directly.  That is yoga.

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True (December, 2024) Beyond Philosophy: Experiencing the Truth of Consciousness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj8GD_JXL6U&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1


Tuesday, December 31, 2024

Inking Writing Goals

 Write it down. Written goals have a way of transforming wishes into wants; can'ts into cans; dreams into plans; and plans into reality. Don't just think it-ink it!

Michael Kords

Writing Goals for 2025

  • Revise, edit, and submit "You Can Write NonFiction" (YA 10-14 yrs) 
  • Finish and submit or self publish my novel about my sister ( use writer connection that was offered as readership incentive and support)
  • Rewrite and submit again or self publish  "Beyond Fear and Shame - There is Love"
  • Chap or chap books...pull 25 poems together with common theme, revise, edit, and submit
  • Write "You Can Write Poetry" (YA 10-14 years)
  • Publish a copulation of these entries. "Waking Up in a Busy World!" 
Right now I am turning these goals into smart goals with short term focuses. 

I will keep you posted.

All is well!
All is well. 

The Human Curriculum

 The curriculum is your humanity.

Ram Dass

All these mistakes we are making as human beings are intricately designed into the curriculum.  All these challenges, confrontations, and conflict with difficult people, all these 'gains' and 'losses', these so called "successes" and "failures"...are a part of that same curriculum. They are not "mistakes" or "flaws in the design" but very important pieces to the lesson objectives and therefore  to our learning and growth. You can call this course or program "Life", "Being human", "spiritual development 101", "Karma", or "Fred".  It doesn't matter what you call it or how you describe it with concepts and words.  All that is important is the learning. Accept each lesson with gratitude and amazement...and you will go far.

All is well. 

Ram Dass/ Be Here Now Network ( May, 2024) Ram Dass on Identity, Roles, and Living in Truth-Resting in "I Am"-Here an dNow Podcast Ep. 251 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxG1lA0rPEI&t=1940s

Lecturing to an Empty Classroom?

 Absolutely no one according to my blog stats is reading my blog. Just 0...0...0...0 down the post page for months.  This is strange even for me and my limited readership. I don't understand it and I wonder..."Hmm! Whom am I doing this for?" I am standing in that empty lecture theatre again...sharing all I have learned to the space. Still, there is this feeling that there should be at least one student sitting there? Did someone put a notice up somewhere that the College was closed? As long as those that need this crazy thing I offer know that I am here...and then they decide not to come, that's okay, that's on them...but if there is something else stopping them from showing up...that's on me.  I gotta figure that out! Hmmm. 

All is well

Monday, December 30, 2024

Deal With the Cause

 

Don't just fight with the result; deal with the cause. 

Michael Singer

Words of wisdom from today's podcast:

  • Start off with respecting and honoring reality
  • Ground starting point is understanding the laws of nature, of science, of psychology...not a chance in the world that ppl are going to be the way you want them to be
  • transcend lower drives...animal nature = external evolution
  • transcend the psyche and its lower nature= internal evolution....
  • step back and be the awareness that is aware...be the one that is watching what is going on in there instead of being the something going on in there
  • just see...don't fight with your thoughts...just see them and look deeply into their root
  • don't react to what you see inside 
  • The key to deep spiritual growth ...break the attachment to staring at thoughts...feelings...life events etc
  • Consciousness is independent of what it is watching
  • Your natural energy flow is up
  • Who cares what the mind has to say...it is just expressing the sum of its learned experiences
  • emotions are what happens when the shakti is trying to come up and it hits your blockages and they shoot out
  • level of understanding that says supression does not work= psychology
  • Look at this concept that you cannot be comfortable down here and enjoy your life...deal with it
  • "I am willing to let this go"...first be willing to look in there and deal with it
  • try to make it through the day without supressing anything...without stuffing more in
  • relax into what is...stop resisting
  • when the old stuff starts coming back up and it will...let it...want it too..welcome...celebrate it...apologize to it for shoving it down
All is well!

Michael A. Singer (December, 2024) From complaints to Contentment: A Guide to inner Peace.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPxJHJcN17A&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=2



Ripples On a Lake

 Ripples On a Lake





Tiny reflections of the sun above,

glimmer and dance on the lake's surface,

in perfect twinkling diamonds 

of peace and presence.

The stillness, hidden in the deep depths, 

is called up to dance 

with the power of the Source

as the world sees itself in the mirror.

Standing on the shore, 

I peek in at the reflection 

of my awkward human form. 

I inhale deeply, 

breathing in my only true desire...

that which the lake is offering me now.

..perfection, peace, and presence...

For the briefest of seconds,

I see clearly what I am to see.


Then, out of nowhere, 

the wind blows ...

and a leaf...a tiny browning leaf... 

is pulled from the nearby branch

that it once clung so tightly to.

It falls, twisting and turning, 

in effortless circles. 

I watch as it slowly and surely drops 

in one big exhale from my distracted Life 

to the perfectly still surface of this lake. 


It lands in the center 

of my visual field

and in an instant

stillness is disrupted.

Creating a tiny ripple...

a tiny disturbance 

in the perfect peace and presence 

I have been witnessing,

the tiny ripple extends outward 

into another tiny ripple and another... 

until my reflection 

becomes a blurry mess.

I gasp in resistance 

as the image of who I think I am, 

the clarity and perfection,

the peace and presence of this lake 

is disrupted.   

 I spit out that disturbance 

from my struggling lungs. 

I watch as these ripples 

swallow up the stillness

and I shout out "No!"

I know I must do something about it. 


I jump into the frigid depths. 

Splashing and splattering, I swim

towards the leaf at the center. 

With great desperation and contempt 

I swoop it up with my trembling hand. 

It and the weight of my resistance 

are like a heavy anchor within me.  

I am pulled down into the depths. 

Though there is something 

oddly reassuring and familiar  

in these waters below the surface... 

I refuse to be swallowed into an abyss 

I cannot make sense of with my mind. 

So, I struggle to surface

creating more ripples, 

more disturbance 

with every splashing effort I make. 

The ripples turn into waves, 

and the waves into rip currents...

I choke on the turbulent water 

as it fills my lungs 

with each breath I take in. 

Yet, I will not let go.

I cling to the leaf even tighter. 


Somehow, I manage, with leaf in hand, 

to awkwardly and painfully make my way 

back to the shoreline where I, 

crawling on exhausted limbs, 

pull myself up from the lake 

with its now thrashing waves. 

I collapse into the sand, 

the cause of disturbance tucked neatly 

in the palm of my clenched fist. 

I will not let it go. 

I will hang on to it as a reminder

of what I must do.


It takes a long time for the waters 

to return to their pure state...

to perfection, peace and presence... but they do. 

 I smile then, 

pleased at myself for my accomplishment 

as I watch the sunlight flicker and dance

once again on the clear surface. 

I can rest.


That is until... 

the wind blows again

and another brittle leaf

 falls to the lake's surface

to start the rippling all over again.

©Dale-Lyn, September-December 2024

Saturday, December 28, 2024

A Simple Idea of Christmas: Gratitude and Love


My idea of Christmas, whether old fashioned  or modern, is very simple: loving others.

Bob Hope

Feeling so much better. The flu turned into a full fledged pneumonia (a tendency this body has lately as it ages) and I experienced a few days where I was struggling for breath. Even though my sats were dropping into the 80's I was refusing to go in. (Do not recommend that choice of avoiding ER for anyone!!).  On Christmas morning, I accessed the provincial evist site again and was so fortunate to connect with an NP that was able to prescibe a short term steroid and an antibiotic very effective for pneumonia. (I didn't tell her about my sats because she would have been obligated to send me into ER...my bad!) The steroids made me feel like I was better before I was lol as well as making me feel like the  "Energizer Bunny", but within two days I felt I could breathe normally, the cough changed to one that sounded like music to my ears (the congestion  began to move around more easily in my lungs), and I felt sooooo much better.  I was a new person.  I continue to feel better though I still cough and have to carry a box of kleenex around with me everywhere...but I can breathe!! So, so grateful for that. 

So, Christmas was experienced through the veil of illness by this body and mind. I am grateful for that too.  I am grateful for how I approached this over promoted season. Finally...finally there were no expectations or demands that this season be a certain way. This, I was hoping, would benefit my loved ones who "suffer" though Christmas expectations.  This season has not been something they enjoyed for many years.  In fact, it is a season they dread...because it poses a great risk. I accept that now...I do not resist it or say that it should not be. Their depression is worse at Christmas. I watch them closely. 

I also...finally...after so many years of saying I was going to do it...made it a no gift Christmas.  I expressed that I would not be giving gifts or receiving them this year.  This relieved so much pressure for me and everyone in my household. We decided to do a charity game night.  I will make my turkey tonight...and we will have a yankee swap where each person buys a small gift bag with a dollar store item in it from me.  They will sign up for a charity of their choice...and they can swap from others or from what is left on the table.  We will play games and the winners will receive another bag.  In one of the bags is a lil Christmas tree...bags are opened at the end of the night. Whoever has the tree ...wins for their charity.  The money earned goes to that charity and I will do my best to match those earnings or at least half match. :) Now, this is what I have been wanting to do every Christamas. This is the stripped- down-from-expectation 'real' verson of Christmas I have been longing for. 

Looking forward to it.

All is well!

Thursday, December 26, 2024

Truth and God: The Path of No Resistance

 ...Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.

Matthew 4: 4 ESV

No search has been dearer to the human heart than that which brings to us light from God. No study has taken so much human energy, whether in times of past or present, as the study of the soul, of God, and of human destiny. However immersed we are in our daily occupations, in our ambitions, in our work, in the midst of the greatest of our struggles, sometimes there will come a pause; the mind stops and wants to know something beyond this world. Sometimes it catches glimpses of a realm beyond the senses, and a struggle to get at it is the result.

Vivekananda, 2,6. 5 The Way to the Realization of a Universal Religion; Complete Works

This is where belief and faith come in.  We struggle to live by the word of God, to "know something beyond this world" by using the thinking mind to so.  Of course, a belief is a deeply held onto thought and faith is seeking to build strength in that beleif. A Belief is never truth...it is just a thought.  Faith then is not truth either. 

Michael Singer asks in the below linked vido if there is something deeper than belief and faith.

Experiencing directly is that "glimpse of a realm beyond the senses".  It can be more than a glimpse as yoga promises. Yoga is the science of the mind...and it is a pathway to the truth that exists beyond the thinking mind, and therefore beyond belief and faith. 

Consciousness is deeper. 

The real questions asked by an intellectual mind trying to free itself from itself is not "Is this something I can believe in or have faith in?" or even, "Is it true?"

The real question is, "Who has the experience of  believing?  Who has the experience of faith?" 

It is higher consciousness because that is what we are beyond the bread we eat, the hungry heart, the busy world, all our struggles and seeking, and of course, the busy mind. We cannot use thought and intellect to understand higher consciousness...that is like looking in a mirror to figure out who you are.  All you get is a reflection of what you are seeing...not the experience of being. We need to experience the "word of God" directly.

We are like brilliant rays of sun shining down on a mirror.  We are not the mirror we are shining on nor are we seperate little rays.  To understand the Source...from that which we emerged...from that which we are just emenations of...we need to fall back into the Source. 

True spirituality is not about belief and faith.  It is about experiencing what is real. It is not about opening to some "ideas" and the thoughts, feelings, and experiences they lead to and closing to "others".  It is not about preferring one belief or one faith over another.  It is about being open to all of it, to all Life offers.

There are many indirect paths to God. The true path to God is a direct path where there is no resistance.  Every experience of Life needs to be able to come in...be accepted and then experienced.  Experience is the word God breathes into us. We need to stay open to it. How do we stay open?  By not closing. What is closing? Preferring and resisting what is. What do we use to prefer and resist?  Faith and belief...the thinking mind. 

We do not have to struggle to find God...or to hear that word ["om"] that is in every experience we are offered...we just need to stop resisting what is. What is... is Truth... and it is what we seek.  Where is it?  In us and everything we are. 

Spiritually is the path of never closing (no resistance). And guess what? Christ taught yoga. He taught us to stay open to the word of God.

All is well. 

Michael A. Singer/ Sounds True/ Temple of the Universe ( November, 2024) Beyond Belief: The Path to Direct Spiritual Experience. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjAi8KxmJts&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=8




Wednesday, December 25, 2024

Merry Christmas to All

 Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plentous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. 

Calvin Coolidge? or a Jesuit saying?












Though this day is not actually the day Christ was born and a day assigned by a church attempting to gain control over the pagan ritual of winter solstice [the Russian and Greek Orthodox churches celebrate this day on January 7th, demonstrating the flexibility of the date based on Christian calendars of choice]...it is still a blessed day. It offers us a wonderful opportunity to celebrate one of the greatest teachers and the most enlightened of all beings whoever walked the planet, as we model his teachings. And what did Christ represent? Peace, compassion, and forgiveness.

May your day today and all the days that follow throughout 2025 be blessed with peace, compassion, and forgiveness.

Merry Christmas!!

All is well in my world. 

Tuesday, December 24, 2024

Rousing Up the Infinite Nature in All

 The old Mr., Mrs., and Miss so and so are gone, they were mere superstitions, and what remains is the ever-pure, the ever-strong, the almighty, the all-knowing-that alone remains for us, and then all fear vanishes from us. Who can injure us, the omnipresent? All weakness has vanished from us, and our only work is to arouse this knowledge  in our fellow beings. We see that they too are the same pure self, only they do not know it; we must teach them, we must help them rouse up their infinite nature. This is what I feel to be absolutely necessary all over the world. 







All truth is eternal. Truth is nobody's property; no race, no individual can lay exclusive claim to it. Truth is the nature of all souls. But it has to be made practical, to be made simple (for the highest truths are always simple), so that it may penetrate every pore of human society, and become property of the highest intellects and the commonest minds, of man, woman and child at the same time. 

And as Michael Singer would say...Reality [Truth] has no preferences. I need to remind myself of this again and again. Reality just is.  Truth just is...I don't have the power to change it even if I wanted to.  It just is.  I can close to it as I found myself doing to the reality of this situation that unfolded in front of me. I can close in my attempt to change  or resist that reality. I can suffer. Or I can realize that the sum of someone else's experience is different than the sum of mine....and remember "Who can injure us?".  They cannot injure us...oh they can hurt our egos...our bodies...our minds.  They can injure our attachments and our preferences but they cannot harm who we really are. Let them injure the preferences, the attachments, the ego.  These things are only in the way of Truth. We can handle it all.

Prefer it all. 

The Great Way is not difficult for those who are no preferences.

The Third Zen Patriarch 

Anyway...that is why I am here sharing what I am sharing....to arouse this knowledge.

All is well! And may you have a blessed holiday.

Michael a. Singer (December 23, 2024) Overcoming Suffering through Acceptance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N89gHg73DQU&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Vivekananda ( n.d.) The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda, 2.6 Practical Vedanta and other Lectures. Kindle Edition

Monday, December 23, 2024

Not the Body; Not the Illness


Who am I?  Not the body because it is decaying....

Ramana Mahrashi

I am sitting here with an experience of feeling quite ill.  The body is a remarkable thing...I was exposed to this bug weeks ago and started to experience the  signs and symptoms of it...even missed one day of work because of it...but being that it was not a time for me to get sick and stay sick...there were too many things out there needing me to function...I seemed to snap out of it quite quickly. It didn't go away but it moved to the back burner and started to incubate there, waiting for an opportunity to express itself.  On Friday one of the little viruses said to the army that was now tripled in size behind it, "Okay boys!  Its time...lets divide and conquer."It hit me like a ton of bricks lol. 

I was going to start by saying, "I am sick!" and then I caught myself.  "Am I forgetting all I learned...again??" 

I am not sick...I am perfect wellness....this body that I am in is experiencing a viral infection.  I am not this body.  I cannot reduce the "I am" down to a physical illness. I can not reduce the " I am" down into the body I am in.  The "I am" is experiencing a body that temporarily "has"an illness...I am not an illness.

We say "I have a flat tire" or "I ran out of gas"...when our vehichles have a flat tire or an empty tank...yet once again is this correct?  We identify with this tiny little "me" experience of being in a vehichle with a flat tire or an empty tank. You don't have a flat tire...you don't have tires.  You are not empty of gas...or well you should be empty of gas. lol This car is not you nor is this body...so what is going on in the car is not yours; and what is going on in the body is not you either. 

Illness, is just one of the trillion experiences a person can experience as the body decays.  Wow!

Quite amazing really. 

All is well


Sunday, December 22, 2024

Conditionally Okay?

 If you appreciate and honor all the experiences of Life...you are a very healthy human being.

Michael A. Singer

Are you seeking conditional well-being or enlightenment? I had to remind myself over the last month or so that I am seeking the latter. I got lost seeking for a condition...an outcome ...and allowed my ego to convince me that the peace of mine and others was dependent on an outcome. I wasn't a very healthy human being.

What learning from my experience can I pass on?

When you are noticing the emotions brewing inside, remind yourself, "I don't feel like that...I am witnessing this human heart and mind feel like that...I am just watching it all." I had to remind myself to do that. And I had to stand back and say, "Wow! What a show the universe is putting on.  Cool!"

We don't have to suffer.  We just have to stop preferring and expecting Life to be a certain way. Instead of plotting and planning how to get what we want from it ...we should be questioning why we are not happy all the time. 

A Good mantra: 

If I want to be okay I can be okay, but not conditionally okay, unconditionally so.  I can handle this..

All is well. 

Michael A. Singer/ Sounds True/ Temple of the Universe ( December, 2024) Transforming Struggles into Strengths: The Art of Conscious Living. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQWJhpOe_nI&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=4

Saturday, December 21, 2024

A Battle for Righteous Cause

 For a warrior there is no greater duty than a battle for righteous cause. It is your duty to challenge wrong doing, and you will be rewarded accordingly...Knowing that pleasure and pain, gain and loss, victory and defeat are one and the same, you must prepare to fight. Do this, and you can only triumph. Gita Chapter 2:31-38

Finding more and more stability of mind and heart even though the body that was holding back a full fledged flu until after the court proceedings were done succumbed yesterday to it. S

Regardless, I am experiencing so much more peace when I ponder the reality that egos are not real...and though people may be overly attached to them and follow their directions...beneath the ego is who we are. Sometimes we do need to stand up in court and say..."No that which that ego proclaims and seeks for itself is not fair or just." 

We say this at the same time we let go of judgment, anger, and hate...knowing that a battling or reactive ego is not who we or they are.

The wise, however, are capable of mastering their own mind. Of tranquil heart, they are free of the anxiety born of the need to acquire and hoard. This is true power! Gita, Chapter 2: 45

All is well.

The Unbroken Self (2024) Bhagavad Gita - Chapter 2: The Power of Knowledge.https://www.unbrokenself.com/bhagavad-gita-chapter-two/

Friday, December 20, 2024

Working to Stay in Grade Six


Just do the work. Commit yourself to not bothering yourself!

Micahel A. Singer

Dealing with difficult people really involves dealing with yourself. I know that, I do ...yet reflection on the last few months reminded me of an old tendency I have of projecting outward. I was focusing so much on "them" and what they were doing, I was polluting my insides with negative thoughts, allowing some nasty seeds from store consciousness to grow up into my mind to take  over my mental garden and I was reacting...putting judgement, negativity, resistance, a big "No! This shouldn't be!" statement out into the universe. etc. I set out to fix and change the circumstances and them...putting so much effort, energy, and time into that "resistance" of what is. Why? Definitely for some logistic reasons but also for some self serving reasons.  I didn't like the way I felt...the way...as my old ego mind would describe it, "they made me feel". ( There was a direct personal pain and there was a pain that came indirectly came from watching my loved one suffer). Sigh!

Then when I recognized these tendencies coming up bringing a host of unwanted feelings with them,  I resisted them. How do we resist our emotions or our samskaras?  Through another human tendency-supression and repression. We push them back down. I pushed it all back down and I was a bit hard on myself.  "You are more evolved than that!! You are supposed to be a yogi!!" I found myself critically exclaiming to myself. "Yet here you are...angry and reactive! All those years of practice for this???" 

It does me no good to condemn myself or anyone else for this very human experience of battling egos.  I know that. Compassion for all...including myself is a crucial step in dealing with this. It ain't easy but compassion will free me from these heavy weights in my heart. 

Condemning them and hating them is not the solution to this problem...far from it...it will only enhance it.  Sure, any reasonable person who could see what they are doing would say, "Yeah...no wonder why you guys are so angry!" It is incredulous...it really is...and so hard for the human heart and mind to accept that others would lie, slander, manipulate, and cheat for their own selfish reasons. (This human's ego slipped into the ring there with that last statement lol) How can one feel compassion in that?

Hmm! Start with acceptance, maybe? Recognize that they "know not what they do" and even though it feels so personally directed towards us, it isn't ( a small portion maybe has to do with us but it mostly has to do with the mess each has within them, just as my reaction only has a tiny bit to do with them and is mostly a result of the mess in me). Recognize that their unconcious (less than evolved) behaviour and choices are based on an accumulation of life experiences that really have nothing to do with us. So many variables in each of their lives has accumulated into what they are doing now. And of course, ego, as it is for most humans, is the director of those choices. My egoic reaction to their choices, at the same time, is my responsibility...not theirs. If I let ego take the reins here...that's on me, not them.  At the same time, I can't beat them or myself up for their behaviours and my reaction to those behaviours. Is it right to beat up a grade five student for not passing a test in advanced calculus? Of course not! They are just not developmentally there yet.  I am not there yet. Learning is a stage by stage process. We are at whatever stage we are at!

Would it serve Life a little better if we had compassion for the learning of that grade five student, accepting where they are without these great expectations to change it or make them be at a level other than the one they are at? Would we serve Life and therefore ourselves better if we didn't see the frustration and acting out they were doing because of  challenging lessons as  something personal towards us?  I work with grade five students and I can see through their behaviour when they are over challenged by a lesson...they will act out and blame me or others. That is the human condition. I do not take it personally...I step back,  and open up a dialogue about their frustration as I encourage them to be patient with themselves before I readjust the lesson plan. I am compassionate. 

Why can I not be just as compassionate with the "them" in this situation? Most humans are grade five students or younger in their spiritual development.  Some of us because we got slapped around by Life a bit in order to wake us up...might be at a grade six level or higher.  So yeah, without adopting a sense of spiritual superiority I may be a grade ahead.  Or am I?  Sometimes when I see the internal mess inside of me rising to the surface I think I have been sent back to grade 2 lol. But in fairness to myself,  I chose to stay in school....I seen the need for such internal work and because I realized whatever I was doing before wasn't working, I sat there listening to the teacher. I paid attention. I did some hard work...I really did.. I moved on to the next level.  Is a grade six student any better than a grade five student? Definitely not...I was just actively in school longer...that's all. 

When we walked out of the court house the other day I encouraged my family to let as much of this go as they could...to not let their focus stay trapped on watching what these people were doing or on the hate and anger they were feeling. I said, "If they pollute your heart and your mind that is on you...not them.  You may not have any power right now to change their actions or behaviours but you do have the power to decide what you keep inside you.  Please don't let it be a "rightful" sense of hate and anger. Yes, you have a right to anger and hate even but having a "right to something" doesn't mean it is the best choice to make. It doesn't serve you in the least.  It will pollute your insides and your life if you insist on holding onto it. Try to change your focus onto the productive things and try to keep your heart open and kind as much as you can. "

They just looked at me as if I had three heads but I will keep encouraging them to do that.  I don't want them giving anymore of their precious life over to humans who are not ready to move on to grade six yet. I don't want them to get stuck in grade five forever either. 

We all must compassionately accept that learning occurs at different levels and focus more on our own learning than that of the others.

All is well

Hmm! So much learning.

All is well!


Thursday, December 19, 2024

Coincidence is the Teacher Responding to Our Requests

 

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous

Albert Einstein

Oh my goodness.  As soon as I asked for a repeat of the lesson I was meant to learn with this court experience...no word a lie...a police car pulls in and hands me a subpeona for the attack that happened here last October. OMG! Another court date coming up. Tell me there is no plan to all this that seems so randome and chaotic.

All is well!

Hard Lessons that Hurt

Karma says if you focus on hurt you will continue to suffer; if you focus on the lesson you will continue to grow.

Unknown

People used to to tell me, " Be careful what you ask for!" And I would just shrug my shoulders.   When I so arrrogantly challenged the Universe "to bring it on", I had no idea that it would oblige so quickly and so ferociously.  I hear an "I told you so," coming from somewhere. 

I was convinced I was evolved enough, prepared enough, "spiritually centered " enough as a human being   to demand more from the teacher. To stand up from my seat in an Elementary classroom to say "Let's do a crash course in suffering now so I can flush everything out in one big swoosh."

 Yeah...lol...I wasn't ready.  The teacher obliged and now I fear She is going to knock me off my feet.  

I am trying to convince myself that it is okay if the ego gets ripped off...I want it gone anyway...that sure it will hurt but if we pull it off fast it will be like ripping off a Bandaid. A sting then gone. Nope...I was wrong about that too.  It is more like the months of dressing changes done on burn patients. (I do not mean to diminish that experience by using it in this analogy. Forgive me.)

The suffering of others is part of the learning process. I look around at all the suffering beings waiting  in a que for me to be done with this court thing so I will have some time to help them and all I can think is..."Oh please...I don't want anyone waiting for me to help them anymore.  I want this all to be over soon. I don't want to do this anymore.  I don't want to be responsible for the suffering of others anymore. It is too much."   Sometimes I reflect and I realize ...I end up hurting the people I love more than helping them when I rush into help. 

I remember a line I used to share with my students when I taught them psychology..."Help is the sunny side of control." I realize, in this court thing...though I certainly had some of the skill set that he needed I was often on the sunny side of control.  Yeah. I apologized to him for that yesterday and I wanted to find a way to apologize to the truly lovely young woman who was representing him. I was harsh in my lack of trust and this need I felt to control the situation. Yuck! I didn't like that part of myself...that was a part of this "me" that I so badly want to scrape off...it was the same thing I was noticing in the others I was pointing a finger at....all ego at play.   It was really clouding my higher Self and I was acting/reacting  from that "hurt little me" rather than this omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent Self.  I recognized the "goodness" of his lawyer as a person as soon as I met her.  I had a very good feeling about her as being a fairly evolved human being.  I picked that up right away and whenever I was in her presence..."Yeah! She is a good person!" ...but.... being a less than evolved human being, my fear based ego started chirping up in my head, "Don't trust! Don't trust!" and I listened to that! Man...I slipped.  This caused  a great deal of suffering for me, as this little human, for 48 hours.  I was focusing on that suffering instead of focusing on the growth. I was sooo reactive!  I felt punished by Karma again, even though I knew that wasn't what Karma was all about. It was a messy lesson I didn't end up passing. 

Once I realized that, I came back to the classroom to humbly say to the teacher..."I made a mistake. I goofed! I took on more than I was ready for.  Can we repeat that lesson?" 

Now, I hold my breath and wait for the repeat lesson.  Hopefully, I learned enough from this week to do it a heck of a lot better next time! 

This is my Karma...all these challenges ...and I am okay with that.  I was hoping my lessons wouldn't involve watching others suffer...but if it is, it is. 

So, I might have failed a course or two...but I am sure Life has some remedial help and repeats to offer.

All is well