A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Lao Tzu

 

More Tao Te Ching

Chapter/Verse 59

 

Moderation is an important factor in regulating our human tendencies and in doing spiritual things: “rendering the (proper) service to the heavenly” . It is only by moderation that man can return to a normal state of being.  Every return is what Lao Tzu calls “the repeated accumulation of the attributes (of the Tao)”.  To me this means…that the more we return home to the spiritual state which is our natural state of being and the sooner we can do it “early” …the more Tao like…the more true we become.

 

The more Tao like we become…the more “spiritually centered” …the better we are able to control the obstacles that get in our way.  Though it is not mentioned as such here…I immediately think that these obstacles are our “mental modifications…our “mind stuff”…our thinking that creates a veil between us and true awareness. We have no idea what the limits are to the way we can control our minds? …these obstacles…but not knowing makes us “ruler of a state”.  That state, I assume, is our own human condition.

 

He who possesses the “mother of the state”, which I assume is the way,  will continue long. This Tao like nature makes him like the plant which has deep roots and a strong stalk…and this assures that “its enduring life”…its eternal nature will long be seen.

My Take: Do everything in moderation including our human tendencies and our spiritual ones. Avoid extremes, especially in our striving, doing, wanting, preferring and our "Seeking"...even if it is spiritual seeking.  Just be present and in the way. The obstacles that stand in the way of our being spiritual will slip away.

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Chapter/Verse 60

Governing a great state is like cooking small fish.

For good energy (that which doesn’t hurt others)…even that that is left behind by the departed…the kingdom has to be governed by the Tao. When neither this energy nor the energy of ruling sage provokes injury on others…the two energies converge in the goodness of the Tao.

My Take: The energy of the other realm and the energy of the leaders in the world , if benevolent, will come together in the Tao to make the world a better place.

 

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Chapter/Verse 61

What makes a great state is its being (like) a low-lying, down-
flowing (stream);--it becomes the centre to which tend (all the small
states) under heaven.

As an example to further illustrate this point Lao Tzu uses the stillness of the female to explain how that stillness overcomes the male.  Stillness is like a basement which gains adherents and gains favors at the same time. A great state only wishes to unite men together and nourish them. And a smaller state only wishes to be welcomed and to serve the other. Both the lower and the higher get what they want but the great state must learn to “abase itself”…concede to the little state.

 

My Take: Don't try to be greater than or to overpower...it is the less threatening, still presence that nourishes people and draws them to it.

Chapter/Verse 62

Tao has of all things the most honoured place.
No treasures give good men so rich a grace;
Bad men it guards, and doth their ill efface.

 

The Tao is the greatest thing men can have.  It is the greatest gift for good men and it wishes no ill on bad men. It can make men honorable and above others.  Even bad men are not left out of its grace.

One lesson of the Tao is greater than any high ranking position a leader can receive.  It is the most valuable thing under heaven because it can be attained merely by seeking it and it removes the stain of guilt from the guilty.


My Take: Presence, spirituality...even a step towards it through a lesson,  is the greatest gift and the greatest success a person can achieve.

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Chapter/Verse 63

(It is the way of the Tao) to act without (thinking of) acting;
to conduct affairs without (feeling the) trouble of them; to taste
without discerning any flavour; to consider what is small as great,
and a few as many; and to recompense injury with kindness.

It is the way of the Tao to act without needing to narrate and think through the action; to conduct all affairs with ease; to avoid judging or discerning , or deciding on preferences; and to  kindly forgive all wrong doings.

The one who can master the Tao does the greatest of things even through the smallest acts because he realizes that great things come from small and difficult things were once easy.  The sage sees difficulty in what is easy and therefore has no difficulty.  (Does not expect or assume things should be a certain way?)


My Take: The way, the Tao, the spiritual path, presence... is a natural state of being and doing that exists beneath thinking about it, getting caught up in emotional drama, judging, preferring, creating opposites in our mind etc.  One can do amazing things once they return to this level of being.

 

Chapter/Verse 64

Problems should be solved before they become problems.  Don’t wait for things to get bad before you act.

Each thing begins with one small step.  This is where the big line from Lao Tzu comes in …”A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
 We should be like the sage and not act or attempt to cling and hold onto something with an ulterior purpose because it causes harm and we will lose what we attempt to hold if we do.

Therefore the sage desires what (other men) do not desire, and does
not prize things difficult to get; he learns what (other men) do not
learn, and turns back to what the multitude of men have passed by.

The wise man does not want things other men want.  He wants different things and does not get lost in competition for these prizes normal men seek.  He does not act for “selfish” or greedy purposes.

My Take: Don't procrastinate and put off things.  They will just get big....and even when the task before you seems too large...begin anyway...with one step.  A spiritually wise person wants different things than others do.  He does not compete for egoic prizes and does not do good for ulterior ego reasons. He is guided by Spirit or the Tao.

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Chapter/Verse 65

The ancient masters of the Tao did not seek to teach others to enlighten them but to make them simple and ignorant.

It is difficult to lead others who have “much knowledge”.  It is best to have little “knowledge”…it is a blessing.

“The mysterious excellence of a governor “ arises from knowing this truth.

My Take: The best way to lead, the best way to be is without "knowledge" which belongs to the conceptual mind.  A true spiritual teacher does not seek to provide more knowledge but attempts to remove what one thinks they know. Ignorance is bliss.

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Chapter/Verse 66

A true sage, in order to lead and be above men, will put himself below men and in order to be before them puts himself behind them.  He is like the sea below the level of valleys and streams.  This way men do not feel over powered by their leader or harmed.

He does not “strive” so others under him do not feel the need to “strive”.
Therefore all in the world delight to exalt him and do not weary of
him. Because he does not strive, no one finds it possible to strive
with him.

My Take: A true leader and/or wise master will not seek to be "superior" to others but will put themselves below men.  He does not strive so others are not "threatened" and are  drawn to the leader's peaceful, nourishing presence.

NOTE: Take what I write here with a grain of salt.  I read the chosen translation ( which I am not all that fond of by the way :)) quickly and jot down my interpretation of that.  I could be missing the point. so it is best that you read these wise words yourself from your own chosen translation.  I am no expert ...just a learner.

All is well

 

James Legge (1895) Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu.http://www.sacred-texts.com/tao/taote.htm

 

Don't Close!

Wisdom...Yoga...spirituality is about going deeper...it is about taking down the blinds and being open to what is...being filled of joy inside and sharing it outside. It is not about getting what you want. It is about learning to find out that what you really want is to stay open and not have conditions on that openness.

Michael Singer (from "What do you Really Want?) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73-2PggJJW0

Basically what we need to learn is to "not close" so we stay open to the peace, joy and love within. Instead of trying to determine what it is that we want...and seeking only that...closing our minds and hearts to anything else...we stay open...we are at the core of spirituality. 

"I am not going to let the outside world close me."

We just practice not listening to ego and resist  going after all it says to go after; or fighting off what it tells us we don't want...we just accept all that is at is. We honor what is, appreciate it...enjoy it.  That is spirituality!

All is well in my world.

Conforming or Transforming?

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind ...
Romans 12:2

Transforming

Wow!  This waking up is one roller coaster of a ride, isn't it? 

There are these wonderful moments of, "Oh!  I get it!"... followed by this awareness of being aware and that inexplicable  peaceful feeling that comes with it.  Ahhhh! Lovely! 

The world makes sense.

Then there comes, out of nowhere, a little urging from ego. It promises that we will find what will make us happy and "better" if we follow it into the doing, collecting, striving out here in the physical world. We follow and may even experience some form of happiness and may come to believe what ego says.  But it will not last.  The things that were suppose to make us happy...change, break down, get lost, go away or die. Suddenly we find ourselves face down in the muck of one's own thinking, one's own sad story...one's "stress or one's choices". It's like "Whew.  How did I get here?  I was doing so good."  

Nothing makes sense.

We get ourselves back up...shake it off and once again turn our tired bodies and minds in the direction of  truth. We begin to feel presence emerging and feel again like, "Oh!  I get it!"

We slip away from mind and all the crazy things it wants us to believe and we settle in the here and now.  We are no longer dominated by the needs of "little egoic me".  All our roles, our performances, our attachments, our ideas have no meaning. We see that our problems were ever only things the mind created. ...that in reality, without the story we attached to circumstance, there is no problem. There is no  need for constant striving, fixing, doing...just pure and simple being.  We  find ourselves to be so much more than what ego tells us we are.  We feel peace and joy and Love. 

"I'm here! I'm home!"

Going Back and Forth From Transforming to Conforming

Then once again ego calls, "Come over...just for a visit.  No harm in that, is there?''  And we go.

Again and again...we go, come back, and go.  We find ourselves in the mud of thought again...get up, go back home, get pulled away again and again.

Back and forth between mind and truth we go. Up and down we move. For the most part...it all feels very "unstable".

How the heck is this improvement, evolving, getting better?

I have to remind myself when I find myself shamefacedly making my way back home after a thought bender...that I am getting better.  I am indeed waking up.  The fact that I can see that I was lost and am in the process of going back home... is a conscious thing.  I am aware that I was lost so therefore I am aware that I am aware. I'm awake!

Sure I slip into sleep again and again...but I keep waking up too.  I keep recognizing that for a moment, an hour, or a day I was sleeping.  Then I stretch and shake off the sleep and I go back to Self.

Those times lost are getting shorter and shorter as well as less frequent.  Those times where I am sitting in presence are much longer and more frequent than they ever were.  That is progress!!!!

If I wasn't progressing I would still be face down in the mud trying to make the most of it, believing that that limited perspective was all there was of Life, wouldn't I? Knowing that I don't have to stay in the mind...that there is a better way...is progress too!

Not An Easy Process

It is not going to be easy because though truth, Self, soul, consciousness, spirit (whatever you want to call it) encourages us to transform...to just be here and now...the physical world around us still demands a lot.  We are in this world but not of it.  Tourists in a strange land...we definitely want to be real and authentic to our true selves and always know where "home" is but we do need to interact, exchange, "fit in" to this physical world too.  So there will be a lot of going back and forth between the inner world and the outer until we become so enlightened that the transitions are no longer necessary.

Most of us are not there yet.  And that is okay.  Wherever we are on this journey...be it face down in the mud or totally free of all of ego...is okay.  We are exactly where we need to be right here and right now.  We start exactly where we are.  We evolve from there.

Our waking up  is going to happen...it has little to do with us in these minds and forms we are in.   It is a much greater orchestrated thing that we are merely a part of. So it is all good.

The Consequences of Transforming; Of Waking Up

 When I am sober and awake ( mean that figuratively :), I am no longer attached to certain roles that I once used to define me ( for several reasons).  It makes me feel quite shaky, unsure and vulnerable. I feel more than a little lost a lot of the time.  The ground feels unsteady beneath me.  I am walking around without armour  or the defense mechanisms that once saw my little mind through the day.  I do not deny.  I do not project into the future.  I do not rationalize and blame.  I slipped away from my "victim" role which was a part of my life for so long... so self pity doesn't work for me.  I don't seek for others to fill me up so special relationships are no longer drugs for me to get by with. Nothing seems to "excite" me greatly...nor does anything "bring me down.".  For the most part and probably for the first time in my life  my emotions are stable.  And that is a strange thing in this world. It feels "strange."

An Example of Changes that Occur When We Wake Up

Yesterday I woke up on my 56 th birthday and it was honestly, to me, just like any other day.  I was not depressed over the fact that another birthday meant I was getting older nor was I excited about having a day that honored, "me".  In fact...I was confused most of the day.  It was like..."How do I do birthdays when I truly do not want to honor the "me" as special?"  It was so weird and I found myself a little "cranky" in that confusion.  My confusion over "me" was soon replaced by confusion over my new view of relationships.

Later that day I received the most beautiful engagement ring from my Fiancé.  My reaction was neutral and calm.  It was a beautiful ring;  he is a beautiful man; and...our relationship is beautiful but I did not jump up and down saying "Yes!  Yes!  Yes!" I just commented on the exquisite beauty of the ring; put it on my finger;   said "This is so nice!" and gave him a big, sincere hug.  That was it...we were engaged.

I am very happy to be engaged but for the first time in my life I know that another person can not make me happy nor can they make me unhappy.  I know that a "marriage" will not solve all my problems nor will it create problems.  I know that this ring on my finger...as beautiful as it it is...is just a "thing".  It does not make me "special".  There was point in my life that I believed an engagement ring set me off as "special" in the eyes of society...a symbol that said, "look at me...someone sees me valuable enough to put one of these babies on my finger" etc. Now I truly see the ego in all of that. This ring and this engagement does not "excite me' or fill me with romantic notions.  It simply is what it is .  Ego is still in the background trying to draw me in ...and yes I may go there some day...but for now...I am awake and in this awake state I am not attached to this ring ( though ego tells me I should be...it is so beautiful) and I am not attached to the idea of marriage.  I know I am okay with or without. :)  I did choose with though!

Like you, I will fall back and forth into and out of unconsciousness.  I will still go up and down but I know that when I am  in the most awake state it will be a nice easy ride without inclines or dips.  Sure that may not be as  exciting and thrilling or as "romantic" as society and ego tells me it should be but it certainly is peaceful. I choose peace. I prefer to move within the world of form knowing I am not of it. I prefer to be transformed by the renewing of my mind rather than conforming to a world that really doesn't make much sense to me...until it does.

All is well in my world

The Prison Door is Open

The prison door is open.  I can leave simply by walking out.  Nothing holds me in this world.  Only my wish to stay keeps me a prisoner.  I would give up my insane wishes and walk into the sunlight at last. ACIM:W:57:1:5-9

Do you get it yet? 

The only place we are imprisoned, trapped, or stuck is in our minds and in our minds only! It is our clinging to this thought system we have accumulated that keeps us from feeling true freedom, joy and peace.  We just need to let go of our attachment to all the crazy things the mind is telling us...in order  to be free.

Want peace?  Open up to it...get beneath the thinking to where it is and always was. I begin to understand this peace comes from deep within myself. ACIM:W:57:5:3

That is what I want for my birthday...for me and for the world.

All is well!

 

Do you have the ability to step out of thought and into presence whenever you wish to?

That is a big question to answer.  If we have that ability we are awake.  If we are still struggling a bit but finding that we are able to do this more and more ( like I am ) we are well into the process of waking up.  If the mere question sends us into a tail spin of "WTF(front door)? Are you crazy?" Then we are not ready. 

It is all good.   Many spiritual teachers, including Eckhart Tolle tell us that there is a dormant faculty in all of us waiting to come to Life.  That faculty is presence...the space beneath thought. It will make Itself known eventually.  In the meantime...we can help it along...if we are so inclined.

It is not that we are going to get rid of thought or stop thought.  That is not the mission.  That would be akin to attempting to stop the wind from blowing. Thinking is going to happen whether we like it or not.   The mission is to simply relinquish our attachment and our identification with thinking.  When we relinquish this, we relinquish ego. 

The thinking is not the problem...our believing what it tells us... is.  We have created these little 'selves' in our mind...these little destructive egos...with the thinking mind. We  use more thinking to keep them going. As long as we feed these greedy little entities with thought,  the more we believe they are us. And the more we believe they are us...the farther away we get from who we really are.  By that I mean...the further we get from realizing, recognizing, and remembering who we really are. 

Beneath this thinking and this ego identification is presence...is being. It is always there, going nowhere.  We catch glimpses of it from time to time and it feels so darn good.  It is just very hard for most of us to stay there.  Ego keeps luring us away with "Oh man...you got to think about this or that!  Now this is an important thought!   I know you are trying toe get all spiritual like but you really have to put some thought into this over here." etc etc

And we follow...one thought that leads to another thought and another until we are lost in some fairy tale woods we have created.  Most times, we are not even aware we are lost.  It all seems so "normal"...so "real".

The thing we need to do  is simply become aware when we are straying off. We need to become aware when we are getting lost in the story so we can gently  pull ourselves back.  Many Buddhist teachings on meditation tell us that is all meditation is...a practice that improves our  ability to bring self back from being lost in thought to  presence...to the awareness of here and now...be it by focusing attention on  breath,  body sensations or the sensual perceptions of what is going on around us.  It is a repetitive act of  "reclaiming" attention away from ego and placing it back on awareness of the here and now. We just catch ourselves straying, guide self back, hold it there until we stray again, guide self back again, watch thought take over again, guide self back and it goes on...and on...and on.  To the Buddhists this is the most profound spiritual practice. "Spirituality", then, is that simple. 

Or is it?

How effectively can you catch yourself straying and then bring yourself back to this moment?  Can you reclaim your consciousness whenever you want to?  Are you even aware when you are slipping into unconsciousness again?

That is what the true "spiritual" quest is all about you.  Can you bring yourself back to Self when you wish too? 

Some of us wake up so fast. We can go from being unconscious to awake in a "holy instant" and...some of us... can even stay awake. I keep dozing off.  :) For most of us to master this staying awake, however,  we need to first recognize the need to do so (few even get here). Then we need to practice, practice, practice.

It is a practice that requires commitment. I believe that commitment is worth it though.  Even the few, rare moments glimpsed in practice make it all worthwhile. 

I  guess, it also important to mention...that it doesn't matter what level of this awakening you are on. No one...and I mean no one...is "more special" than someone else based on how "spiritual" they claim to be.  We are all equally spiritual...it is just a matter of being aware of it...that's all. Where are you in that awareness?  Go from there.

All is well in my world.

Helping the Youth Carry the Responsibility for the Future.

Among the 5.7 billion human beings, the older generation, including me, is getting ready to say goodbye to this world. The youth has to carry the responsibility for the future.
Dalai Lama

The Older Generation

I will be 56 in a couple of days. I am becoming a part of the "older generation".  I still have a ways to go before I have to say "goodbye" but I am getting there.  I am getting older. It is hard to grasp that with my foolish mind.  Something in me perceives no change, no death of cells, no generation of others.  Though it is "acutely" aware of the passage of time before me...it doesn't see me changing. Well...until I have a good look in the mirror, that is. 

A Time to Fear, says Ego

Ego is then very quick to pick out the crow's feet, the wrinkled brow, sagging skin, menopausal belly  and greying hair. Like a film reel, it reminds me of the many, many, many  past events I have experienced...the good, the bad and the ugly. It  tells me that I am "losing, fading away, getting ready for the big D." Ego likes to instill fear and it is often successful at doing so. It is not something that makes any of us feel better for very long.  :)

I don't like to confront ego in the glass, and not because I fear its message but because it is so demanding and almost impossible  to satisfy!!! So I don't try to very often. I never did, even in my younger years. I seldom spent time in front of the mirror.  I went without the things my culture encouraged: hours primping and preening, straightening or curling hair, applying makeup and hiding defects in attempts to get the look of  whomever was trending then...from Farrah Fawcett to the Kardashians.  I was always more of a wash, comb, flip hair back in a pony tail and off you go...kind of person. (Much to my daughters' dismay).  I don't look in a mirror a lot.

So I can go on a long, long time believing that though everything around me is changing...I am not. Isn't that strange? Is my mind fooling me?

Being Fooled and Finding the Truth

Yes... my mind is fooling "me" but "I" also see the truth.  On the outside I am changing...the "me" is experiencing constant flux...but the "I" within ...that which the ego refuses or is unable  to comment on... is changeless.  It is that part of me that doesn't recognize the change the collective ego is so aware of because it sees beyond the superficial. It knows I  am really not changing.  :)

So at this age...an age society fears instead of  celebrating because it means we are getting close to the final decades of life expectancy...what does "me' want and what does "I" want?

What "me' wants at this time...

  "Me" fears!  It wants to hide the physical aging....to reclaim youth...to run from death's grip.  It wants a false sense of security in physical things ( pensions, safe housing, money tucked away for future). It wants a healthy and beautiful body more than it ever did.  So "me' will work its butt off despite of body and mind breakdown...in order to create some idea of "security" or appearance of health and well being . It is jealous and judgmental of the young.  It wants to blend in amongst them instead of standing out. It does not want to  celebrate this glorious rite of passage. It wants to deny it.

What "I" wants at this time...

What, on the other hand,  does "I" want? I wants to be known.  It wants to be felt and experienced...it wants to shine.  It wants peace and joy...and truth and love.  It knows that it's days within this physical form  are numbered , so it wants to make great use of it while it can.  It knows that is  has matured enough within this body and mind to do just that. It offers wisdom.  It does not want to blend into the younger culture where it won't be heard...Instead, it wants its grey hairs and wrinkles to stand out as signs that it is ready to mentor, teach and assist the younger humanity in its own growth. It celebrates the aging of the body and mind as markers that we are ready to do that.

We are ready to lead, mentor, guide and teach!  This is what this passage is all about...doing that. It is not about little "me" anymore...is it?  It is about something so much greater

Our youth need us...whether they know it or not.  They need us to show them the way.  And we do that not by judging or forcing or "preaching".  We do that by setting an example in this golden age of our lives. We do so by "being" the "I" we all are.

All is well in my world.

Unsteady Transformation

I believe each human being has the potential to change, to transform one's own attitude, no matter how difficult the situation.
Dalai Lama

I have been seeking to change my attitude for so long now and I still have a way to go.  Oh it is changing...there is no doubt about that...I have come so far but I am not "there yet"...meaning only  that I am there where I always was...where we all are ...but my mind has not let me completely settle into that reality yet.  It is still tricking me and I am still foolish enough to believe it.  Well my ego is.

 "I" ...my aware Self...is just standing in the background watching 'little me' believe ego's lies and all the things I was conditioned to see as 'truth' and make choices based on it.

Sigh! Big pathetic sigh...lol

But I am so...soooooo much better than I was.  I feel the shift taking place inside of me.  The fact that 'I' am "aware" when 'i' am not aware...lol...is a sure sign of the transformation taking place. It is just a little draining, that's all.  That is not a complaint...I would much rather take the fatigue that comes with change over the constant anx I had before when I didn't realize I needed change.

In this stage, I feel like I am on unsteady ground that is constantly shifting under my feet.  I am struggling to keep my balance on it.  The sign of growth is found in the fact that I am no longer putting all my effort into  trying to get this ground to be "smooth" or to move in the direction I think it should.  I am no longer "blaming" the ground[ life circumstance, others etc] for being unsteady.  I now know that it has little to do with my peace of mind.  My focus is on my own "balance centres' within ...on finding inner equilibrium and peace so I can walk along this shifting earth without falling off. So I can serve without hurting.

I can see myself walking, stumbling, falling and I can see myself getting back up again and again...to continue on this journey.  I felt myself stumbling over the last few weeks.

So I ran away from home this weekend.  The ground beneath me was a little bit too wobbly for my liking...too many people needing me, too many things asking to be done or changed...and I aid to D. "Take me away."

He did...to a wonderful spot on the ocean where I could reconnect to my inner balance centers a little bit better.  It was what I needed.  Throughout that time my body made it known how much I needed it: a 72 hour cluster of coronary spasms leading to the need fro nitro five different times. I am grateful for that reminder and I am grateful for the trip. I came home and stepped up on the treadmill of this life I have been given once again and I feel I can hold my own...at least for a while.

Sometimes we need a break as we stumble along this path.  Sometimes we need rest, a change of scenery or outside support.  That's okay! Not all of us will transform in what we see as a "Holy Instant" ...For many of us  it will be an imperfect, sometimes painful, step by step process. We will lose our balance, stumble and fall and that is okay.

We will still get there...eventually! For now...we just need to appreciate and enjoy where we are...wherever that may be...even if it feels a little unsteady.

All is well

Foolish, Selfish People

Foolish, selfish people are always thinking of themselves, and the result is always negative. Wise people think of others, helping them as much as they can, and the result is happiness.
-Dalai Lama

What did his holiness mean by the above quote? Let's take it apart.

Selfish people who spend all their time thinking about themselves are foolish?

Most of us are foolish to some extent until we wake up and realize, at least, who we are.  When we realize who we really are we see no "little self" and just one big greater Self that we are all apart of.  When we look into the baby's face, for example, (or the dogs or at nature) we feel something, right? Time stops for just a moment, we slip out of our heads and into our hearts.   What we see, often without consciously realizing it,  is a recognition, a reflection of who we are. Body line borders disappear if only for a second, from our mental perspective.  We are no longer separated but a part of the being we are looking at.  That is the truth we encounter on some level that goes way beyond thought. We are wise.

Selfishness is an act that only brings pain because it is so foreign to our true nature.  It is therefore foolish to be selfish.

The result of selfishness is negative

When we close up ourselves to this connection.  When we allow ego's fear control to keep us from seeing who we really are...we often become selfish and narcissistic.  "It is all about me'' becomes the mantra in some form.  We think we will find happiness, fulfillment, a sense of security when we do this...but atlas we never do.  The results are usually negative...leading us back to "suffering" again and again. We hurt, we hurt other people and things...all in an attempt to fill up empty holes in us that do not exist.  The result is negative. It really doesn't pay to look after "number one" when one doesn't realize what "One" really entails.

Wise people think of others

Compassion and service is the way of the wise.  By thinking of others one transcends the limitations of "I", "me,"mine" and "my". One recognizes that there is no separation and that when we help another , we help ourselves.

The Result, of which, is happiness

To be truly happy we need to give our lives away.  To know who we really are and what that Oneship entails is the mark of freedom.  When we are free from selfish ways we will live in  true peace and joy.

I believe that is what the Dalai Lama meant by those words above.

All is well.

Love Is

Love is simply the recognition of Self in another.
-Eckhart Tolle (somewhat paraphrased)

When we love, I mean truly love, we are absent of fear and anxiety; absent of resentment and grudge; we are absent of hate. 

Have you ever had a moment looking at a baby where you felt something you couldn't understand?  Doesn't even have to be your baby...but by looking at a baby or by holding it, we for a second naturally transcend the stream of thinking that is filled with all the story, narration and negativity that ego keeps us in. It may only last a second or two but we feel Love because in that baby which is so open to Love...so free of ego ...we see who we truly are.  We can see beneath the veil that has clouded our being for so long.  It is Self we see; Self we feel.  It is Love we experience. So simple!

Action out of compassion

It is not enough to be compassionate.  You must act....One is to overcome the distortions and afflictions of your own mind, that is, in terms of calming and eventually dispelling anger.  This is action out of compassion....
Dalai Lama

Hmm!  There is a lot more to that quote.  He goes on to say that the second aspect of action is to become involved in helping to change social injustices.  I will get into that part another time.  The first action before we pursue the global saviour role (:)) is to calm these minds of ours and dispel our anger.

We all hate a little bit

As I mentioned yesterday, we all have a tendency to 'hate' a little bit.  Hate, though it sounds like such an atrocious word that most of us will deny ever feeling...is something we all experience at least  a little bit from time to time. We "hate" what people do.  We "hate' the weather.  We "hate" the circumstances that land on our lap. We get angry, frustrated, resentful and sometimes really want to make others "pay" is some way ( usually by hoping they feel guilty) for not being or doing  what we think they "should" be or do. For not "making us happy", "filling on our empty spaces, or making the world around us as safe and as comfy as we feel we need it to be.  Sigh!!!  That is not compassion.

It is easy to be compassionate when our heart is open and we see the suffering of a sentient being that has "never hurt us". ...but it is a little different to be compassionate when  we perceive that others are hurting us.

We all hate a little bit from time to time.

A Fear Based Closing Up of Love

Hate to me is simply a closing up of love...even if it is only for a minute.  We close up and retract to protect ourselves. 

Hate then is a by product...or the by product of "fear". Anger, resentment, blame, defensiveness and a desire to attack all come from fear.  It is fear that is actually the opposite of love not hate. Hate is simply  fear in a different uniform doing its job to protect our ego's persistent illusion.

It is our collective  ego mind that fills us with thoughts, ideas, beliefs that say that hate in certain forms is okay...that it is justified and "right".  We believe the mind  even when it makes us miserable. We cling to our "grievances"...even collect them and create them...just so ego can be right.  Fear tells us to close up...don't love that or them...because that or them will hurt you.  When the people we have selected and have given the mission of making us happy to, fail us...we close up to them as well. We then don't love what is in this moment because it isn't "right". Only love a select few and only love them when they are making everything "right" for you.

The special love relationship is but a shabby substitute for what makes you whole in truth, not in illusion. (ACIM:T:16:IV:8:4)

All Mixed Up and Confused

Man, we have it all mixed up and backwards, don't we?  How good does that mindset make us feel?  How much peace do we have when our compassion is so selective ?  How do we feel and experience Life when we close up and deny who we really are.  We are Love!!!  That simple.  We are not what ego says we are.  We are Love. We are not asked to Love as much as we are asked to be who we really are.

Compassion: Loving One Person Unconditionally Right Now

So let's start with the people around us...those we have the so called "special relationships" with.  Let's examine our "hate" in whatever form it tends to present itself and then begin to dismantle the illusion to find the "real" love beneath. 

That real love is you and you will feel it and you will see it in others when it is from that place you operate.  It is all about "you"...and you opening up to this moment and loving what it is.  It is not about the others whom you believe should be a different way.  They aren't! Find that unconditional truth of love in one person and then you begin to change the world!

This is what Byron Katie tells a Mom who was struggling to deal with her son's behaviour and the hateful misery it caused her, as she finally catches on to the beauty of unconditional love and true compassion. :

You just found a wonderful truth within you. This truth brings you freedom....That means that he doesn't owe you a thing. You are not doing it [loving] for him.  Now you understand you are doing it for yourself.  with this awareness you serve your children[your partner, co workers, friends...the world]knowing that you are there because you want to be there, serving them and teaching them by the way you live.  You do it simply because you love them, and because you like yourself when you do that.  It is not about them. This is unconditional love, even though it's a totally selfish act.  It's truth owning itself.  Once this is experienced, self-love becomes so greedy that there's no limit to the people it can serve.  That's why to love one person unconditionally is to love all people. (Katie: page 61)

Hmmm!  Something to think about.

All is well.

ACIM

Byron Katie (2002) Loving What Is. New York: Three River Press.

Looking at "hate"

Be not afraid to look upon the special hate relationship, for freedom lies in looking at it.
ACIM-T: 16:IV:1:1

WTF(front door) are you talking about? Isn't this suppose to be a peace seeking blog and here you are encouraging us to look at hate??? What is wrong with you woman?

On the outside...there is a lot wrong with me lol but we are not here to discuss that...that would take a novel or two. Let's talk a bit about the special relationship instead.

I am reading Byron Katie again and revisiting some of her exercises that she calls The work...that which attempts to bring us back to "Truth". I don't really have to answer all the questions she encourages the reader to answer when one is feeling a bit "hateful" towards another to get to the bottom line but I do it anyway. After spending a few moments on it this morning, as I question the resentment I feel towards a loved one...I open to this page literally.  Go figure.

You too  may be feeling annoyed with someone you love.  They may not be meeting your expectations  and either passively or aggressively (or passive-aggressively :)) you are shoulding them to death...right?  "He should know how I feel!"  "She should be more considerate!"  "You shoud not do those things, would not do those things if you truly loved me!"  etc etc etc. If not dealt with,  the resentment can turn into a type of hate and your special love relationship begins to show it's other side which was a part of it all along.

You can not limit hate. The special love relationship will not offset it, but will merely drive it underground and out of sight. It is essential to bring it into sight, and to make no attempt to hide it.  For it is the attempt to balance hate with love that makes love meaningless to you. ACIM:T:16:IV:1:5-9

Yes... "hate" is a strong word but if we are going to use the term "love" in our specially selected relationships with certain individuals at the exclusion of others...eventually we will have to use the word "hate" too. This idea of "love" is an illusion.  It is not based on "true love" which is unconditional love for what is. 

If, in my relationships, I love when the person offers me what I feel is necessary to make me happy and I withdraw that love when they no longer give it to me, and maybe even attempt to punish them in some way for not giving me what I feel they "should" ...then that is really a special hate relationship. ...isn't it?

Katie tells people to gather up their resentments and write  them down.  She, in a sense, encourages people to explore their "hate".  She then gets them, in a step by step process,  to see the truth beneath that hate, that anger, disappointment and resentment...to see the love that is not based on how a person acts or what they are. In a way, she takes people beyond the illusion of love to the truth of it, by exploring what we hate.

Real love is not an illusion meant to cover up hate. Hate is the illusion! And sometimes we believe in that hate and create a version of love ( that is not real) to balance that hate. When our illusion of love  falls through we tend to blame, punish, make guilty the people we have given that illusion to. In other words...we expect people we have special relationships with to take away all our negative and hateful feelings...to make us "happy"...We believe they "should". When they are less than successful at doing so we judge, we resent, we get angry, we seek to punish in one form or another. We close up and withdraw our love, if only temporarily . Is that not hate?

So in The work...which is just one way of doing this...we get beyond illusion to truth, beyond hate to love. Katie asks, " Is it true?  Can you absolutely know for certain that it is?"  These are questions we can all ask ourselves when we find ourselves slipping into any form of  hate and resentment over others.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. It is not necessary to seek for what is true, but it is necessary to seek for what is false. ACIM:T:16:IV:6:1-2

All is well in my world.


ACIM

Byron Katie (2002) Loving What Is. New York: Three Rivers Press

Let what you are teach you.

You have taught what you are, but have not let what you are teach you.
ACIM-T-16:III:4:2

We all teach right?  Whether we are meaning to or not...we all teach. We may even teach well through our example of living but are we learning from it?

I come here to teach what I am learning so I can learn it, so I can live it fully. Am I learning enough?  Am I finding comfort in my own teaching?

As long as I do not allow ego to guide me through this process and make my "teaching success" be based on stats and reader numbers...I am both learning and teaching in the way that suits Self best. I come here to do that.  I then try to live my life in this way.

I don't know how many others out there are getting anything from my being here.  I do hope some are...but ...it is not my priority...as I said a many times before, my motivation for being here is Self-ish.

For what you taught is true. Alone, you stand outside your teaching and apart from it.  But with them [the witnesses to your teaching] you must learn that you but taught yourself, and learned from the convictions you shared with them. ACIM:T:16:III:6:6-8

This chapter speaks to the fact that there is no separation of selves...and through teaching we create a bridge between one another.  We cross this bridge and go to the One Self with teaching and learning which are really one and the same.

We just need to teach who we are and allow It to teach us.

All is well in my world

Disturbed by what happens?

We are disturbed not by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens.
-Epictetus

Having some challenging circumstances over the last couple of days...weeks...months lol.  As a result, I found myself unable to do anything yesterday....I crashed and this am I slept in until noon.  Not like me at all but my body and mind are a bit on the tired side.

The loss of my dog was a big thing for me.  Many would say, "It was just a dog!  Get over it!".  Anyone who says that has not yet had the blessing of the type of bond I had with my old girl.  I hope some day they do experience it because it is worth all the grief and pain that comes after the physical bond is disconnected.  I am so, so grateful for her presence in my life.

My grieving now is very, very manageable.  It was the "long good bye" that really caught me off guard.  I am more of an anticipatory griever.  I always, always hated saying good bye and having to be the one that made the decision that a goodbye was called for left me reeling.  I also believe that pet grief is safe grief....'healing' grief...it allows us to open up and when we do,  not only does the grief of the present loss come through, it also allows other losses and hurts that we have stuffed inside to become released. And man...I have a lot stuffed inside. :) I am very grateful, then,  for the grief...as weird as that probably sounds.

Once I do let go of something I loved or was attached to ...which I have been blessed with the ability to do with my girl...I move on.  And I am moving on taking her sweet essence with me in some way.  Our bond now is different but it is still there.

I am also dealing with a sibling crisis and had to respond to an emergency situation Friday night that also left me reeling.  I came this close to having to perform CPR on my sister and though I have the remarkable ability now to stay calm in such emergency situations ( presence indeed steps in for me)...I feel exhausted afterward. My body just becomes exhausted.  There are so many secret variables to that situation that I sometimes resent having to deal with it.  I have a need for honesty and I can't get caught up in drama, delusion or story without it draining me farther. So this near death experience coupled with a "Let's pretend" left me completely, completely drained.

Man....It really has been a very trying six months for this little version of 'me' and it doesn't really look like it is going to get easier any time soon.  :)

For that reason I am so grateful for my new way of seeing things. I now know that it is not circumstances but what I "think" and "feel' around them that causes suffering.  I don't resist the things that come my way anymore. I am learning to do as Byron Katie teaches: Love what Is. I just love what is and I get by.

It is all good!

Who Says?

Who Says Words With My Mouth?

 -Rumi

All day I think about it, then at night I say it.

Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing?

I have no idea.

My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that,

and I intend to end up there.

 

This drunkenness began in some other tavern.

When I get back around to that place,

I'll be completely sober.  Meanwhile,

I'm like a bird from another continent, sitting in this aviary.

The day is coming when I fly off,

but who is it now in my ear who hears my voice?

Who says words with my mouth?

 

Who looks out with my eyes? What is the soul?

I cannot stop asking.

If I could taste one sip of an answer,

I could break out of this prison for drunks.

I didn't come here of my own accord, and I can't leave that way.

Whoever brought me here will have to take me home.

 

This poetry, I never know what I'm going to say.

I don't plan it.

When I'm outside the saying of it,

I get very quiet and rarely speak at all.

 

From Essential Rumi

by Coleman Barks


I have posted that poem before way back in 17 but I am thinking of it now.  Dare I say that Rumi and I are a bit kindred in spirit...not based on poetic quality but poetic circumstance and our thinking patterns.  :)

It is all so good.
 

A Sacredness in Tears

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
-Washington Irving

 

I have had the sacred streaming down my face for the last few days. I have been experiencing overwhelming grief. 

My old dog, my shadow, my most faithful companion, my protector, and my very best friend had her physical life ended yesterday.  As I have written before, I have grieved for her several times in the past when her ongoing illness seemed like it would be the end but she rallied around again and again, giving me more precious time with her and her more precious time with me. 

We shared a bond I can't even explain.  She came into my life when I needed something the most, shortly after my divorce when I was struggling with the loneliness of a shared custody agreement. I came into her life when her frequent returns to the shelter after  several different  trial owners reported they "couldn't handle her" was about to end her life much too early. I was her last chance.

In my own stressed out state, I didn't think I could handle her either and was tempted on more than one occasion to take her back.  She was "wild"...so much energy I couldn't contain.  She was destructive...in her high anxiety states she would tear up anything in my house including couches, window screens, precious books,  and clothing. She jumped on everyone that came to the door knocking them down with her excitement to see them.  She loved to run so much...if I opened the door she would run...just run for miles in whatever direction was calling her and it would take me hours to round her up and return her safely home. Though she was a very loving and friendly dog...if I or anyone touched her paws she could become quite defensive to the point of snapping. And she did not like the cats I had brought home from the shelter months before her.

I knew hours after bring her home that training her  and respecting her boundaries was going to be a challenge. I didn't think  I had the energy to do it while struggling with my own life adjustments.
But there was something deep within her beautiful brown eyes that told me to try.  So I did. 

I read everything I could on training dogs and I strapped her to my waist and spent the two months of my summer vacation training her.  I spent most of that time crying in frustration but I, and the kids,  also fell madly in love with her.  She, I knew formed a great attachment to us, to me especially, and she took on  a very protective role over all of us, even the cats.  Within a year there was little need for leashes around my waist or around her neck.  She followed me and staid beside me because she wanted to.  She became my shadow and my family's  protector.  She became my very best and most loyal friend.

She was thirteen and that is a long span for a German Sheppard.  Her body  has been deteriorating over the last few years with severe arthritis, old dog's syndrome, renal failure and dementia.  I never quite felt I had the right to take the life of another sentient being...especially if there was a certain quality to that life...but promised myself that if the suffering reached a certain point and if she gave me any signs what so ever that she was "ready"  I would have the vet help me let her go. 

This last week or so she stopped eating as much as she used to...she always had a ferocious appetite and loved her food. She was no longer able to go for walks, started sun downing at night, (waking up and wandering all over the house confused),  and getting up into a standing position  became extra challenging for her...And though she was still wagging her tail when anyone came to the door and got excited over treats and drives in the car...something told me  it was time. 

Well my knowing was riddled with doubt as well.  It left me pondering: Do I have the right to do this?  Is this what she wants?  Is her suffering serving some purpose for her that I cannot understand? Though I was agonizing over this dilemma, I found myself going to the  phone and I made the call anyway.  I did not stop crying since.

I would like to say it was a peaceful passing but it wasn't.  My children, D. and I took her for a "drive" in the SUV...with her blanket and bed.  We were going to have it done in the back of the vehicle  while we all held her.  Even though we were outside, she knew we were at the vet's.  (She always got stressed out when she went for appointments...I think it reminded her of her time at teh shelter.) They gave her the sedative but her anxiety prevented her from relaxing as much as she  could. And then they had to handle her paws for the other injections...something we, her beloved family members could never even handle all the years we knew her, and she fought.... She even snapped at me because I was closest to her head.  They then had to strap her to a stretcher, bring her in without us, until they got a catheter in her vein  and then they brought her back out.  She was tired by then...so she went fairly  peacefully while we said our goodbyes. 

I don't want to regret this but I just wish those last few moments, prior to the final injections, were not filled with fear and confusion. But they were and I can't change that.  I hope she forgives me and does not think that I betrayed her in anyway. 

But dogs don't have egos, do they?  They forgive so easily.  She is peaceful now, free from the painful body she was in...and I know she forgives me for this decision, be it the best one I could have made for her or not.  That is just the kind of dog she was.

She forgives me like she always did and somewhere in some  formless realm  she is wagging her formless tail excitedly at the sound of my voice calling her name. 

And I, still in this form that expressed the life she knew as me, will always feel  this invisible connection we shared.  And for another little while, at least, the sacred tears of unspeakable love will stream down my face. And that is okay.

It is all good.  It really is.

The Peace that Surpasses all Understanding

The First Obstacle to Peace

The first obstacle that peace must flow across is your desire to get rid of it.
ACIM:T:19:IV:A:1:1

Say what crazy lady?

I know I have been telling you that peace is what we truly want and now I am telling you that the only reason we don't have it is because we don't want it. It sounds crazy.

What I am trying to impart ( why, how and from where I don't know lol) is that peace is what we really want though it isn't what we think we want.  The problem is the thinking and the mind that ego uses to draw us away from peace. Peace is within us as it always was and it 'ain't going anywhere'.  Ego knows that and it doesn't want us to accept that!

It is ego that doesn't want peace.  It needs drama and chaos and striving and doing to survive...Take all that away and simply find what is in you, what has always been in you...and where will ego be?  As long as we identify with ego...we "edge-God-out" as Wayne Dyer would say.  We push peace away.  We attempt to get rid of it.  Ego is  actually convinced  that "we can" get rid of peace as long as we keep thinking, striving, doing, grasping for "more". We may in this mad rush of insanity "forget" about the peace within, forget about "God"...but that doesn't mean It isn't there.

We actually spend most of our lives resisting and attempting to get rid of the one thing we truly want.  Now that is crazy.

Once we decide to refuse to follow our monkey minds, our ego urgings and instead be willing to receive the peace that is already in us...this obstacle will become like a feather attempting to hold back the great wings of truth. (ACIM:T:19:IV:A.:9:1) Peace will flow across it, and join you without hindrance. (ACIM:T:19:IV:A.:4:6)

This ego identification really doesn't get us anywhere but down.  It doesn't give us what we truly want nor does it protect us from it. We just believe it can and will.  Once we put down that distorted belief and open ourselves up to willingly create a home for peace...we will find what we are truly wanting.

Would you not rather greet the summer sun than fix your gaze upon a disappearing snowflake, and shiver in remembrance of the winter's cold? ACIM:T:19:IV:A.:9:6

A life of peace is the summer sun and the winter's cold is all ego can offer us.  What would you prefer?

All is well.

Asking, Seeking and Knocking: The Journey Home.

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
Matthew 7: 7 ESV

What did Jesus mean by this? What is it that we are  all  truly wanting? What is it that we truly want to ask for or seek?   What door do we want opened?

I guarantee that He was not  speaking about asking for a 100,000 dollars or seeking the entrance to a cave with material treasures hidden within it.  Nor is the door that we want opened that of a garage with a new Porsche inside.

Oh we may think we want these things.  We could ask for them and we could get them or find them...but these are not the things that will fulfill us. These are not the things we really want.

These are things the ego may want but I hope we understand by now...that what ego wants is not usually what spirit wants.  Right? In fact the ego  usually makes us miserable in the long run.

Do you realize that the ego must set you on journey  which cannot but lead to a sense of futility and depression? ACIM:T:12:4:1

What we really want is inner peace whether we know that right now or not. What we want is joy.  The kind of joy you feel when you walk into your home, the comfort  that you missed so much  after being away for a period of time.  That is what we want.  We know when we are "home' everything will seem easier even if things don't change on the outside.  The weather, relating to  others, life circumstance is so much easier to deal with when we are home.  It is so much less threatening or annoying, right?

What we really want then is to go home. And you will make that journey eventually. We all will...we are all making it now.  We are all asking  and searching now.  We are all knocking  and waiting for that door of "home" to open for us. The problem is that many of us are looking "out there" instead of "in here." We are on ego's journey to futility.

You will undertake a journey because you are not at home in this world.  And you will search for your home whether you realize where it is or not.  If you believe it is outside you the search will be futile, for you will be seeking for it where it is not.  You do not remember how to look within for you do not believe your home is there. (ACIM:T:12:IV:5:1-3)

The home we seek, the peace we want and the joy that is waiting is not out there .  It is in here.

The kingdom of God will not come with observable signs. Neither will they say Lo here! or lo, there! for, behold, the Kingdom of God is within you. Luke 17: 20-21

So just be aware of what you really want and journey in that direction.  Ego may resist and persist that it knows what you need but don't follow ego's guidance.  Seek the inner guidance within. 

For it is your mind that believes in it [the ego's direction] and gives existence to it. Yet it is also your mind that has the power to deny the ego's existence, and you will surely do so when you realize exactly what the journey is on which the ego sets you. ACIM: T:12:IV:2:5-6

All is well!

Fully Engaged?

True enlightenment means that you are in the continual presence of great compassion; therefore you will not remain in solitary peace but will always be fully engaged in the welfare of others.
Dalai Lama

Hmm!  I still have to open my eyes a bit wider and stretch out the sleepiness a bit more, I guess.  I am not truly awake/enlightened and recognize and accept that I may never be in this lifetime.  It certainly is, however, something wonderful to strive ( oops not the best word when speaking about this process lol)...to look towards.

When my ego world started to crumble around me...partly by circumstances beyond my control and partly by my own choice...I retreated away from society to some extent.  I went off Facebook and all other forms of social media.  I made it fairly hard to get "a hold of me".  I no longer have a house phone and seldom have my cell with me. I hardly go out or have company over.  I do not "do" many of the things I used to.  I avoid crowds with a vengeance...I just don't enjoy being surrounded by large numbers of people. I much prefer the company of animals. I guess I have found a certain "comfort" and "contentment" in semi-solitude.

Can I remain in "solitary peace?" 

No...that is not what most of us are here for.

Compassion is one of the reasons why we are here, I believe.  To serve, to be fully engaged in the welfare of others. 

Am I still engaged enough?

That is a question that I ponder.  I have very little idea what is going on "out there".  I am really not following the political scene.  Whn I meet with siblings , they fill me in( not at my request lol) because they are  intelligent and socially aware.  I am sure they believe I have gone brain dead lol. I don't watch the news.  I do not know what my "social community" is doing...what is up in the lives of friends...because I don't do social media.  So am I engaged?  If an old friend lost a loved one or was going through a hard time...I wouldn't know?  I wouldn't be able to offer My physical support.  They, I am sure, would see me as selfish and uncaring.

I think warm thoughts and wish all the people I know and the people I don't know well and pray and hope they are doing well...does that count?

How do I serve?

I know eventually I have to go "back out there".

I know I have to serve at a greater level than I am serving.  I don't yet know how or what it is I can do...but I do know that.  I need to be more engaged in the welfare of others in a way that I am being called.  I think it is with words, with teaching but I don't know for sure...that could be my ego telling me that.  What I do know is that it will involve compassion for all the others ( which are really not others) around me...be they sentient or non sentient.  I know that much.  Maybe my calling will be to simply sell Popsicles on a street corner lol or maybe it will be to leave the world with a great message.  I don't know. 

If I am fully engaged in the welfare of others, however, I will know I an fully awake and giving the world the compassion I am here ( we are all here) to give.

All is well!

Notice Silence!

Inner stillness is consciousness without thought....that becomes the foundation for your home...what you are rooted in...the background to everything that happens. (Eckhart Tolle...maybe not exactly word for word)

Most of us are mentally lost in the dimension of "what happens".  This being lost is a considered a normal state.  We are lost because all we can see is what is going on around us...what events, people, circumstances are coming in to our lives or we are complaining about what is not happening that should be happening..  We see nothing else. That becomes our "life".

Eckhart Tolle in Talk to Your Thoughts, reminds us that there is a dimension beneath this one we are lost in and when we become conscious of that dimension we are free. This dimension is the dimension of silence.

That conscious awareness begins with "noticing."  Notice your thoughts and notice the words you speak to others and yourself.  Notice when your mind starts to get noisy, just as you would notice external noise.

Just by noticing we are becoming present.  We notice noise in the foreground and then we notice the silence in the background. We notice there is a space between thoughts and beneath thoughts...that is where we want to be.

We are present when we slip into the gap between thoughts if only for an instant.  By noticing our mental noise we are  starting to dip into awareness.  then when we notice the silence between the thoughts or words we are in the gap where there is no thought.  Thought can not notice the absence of itself because it is noise. You can't notice silence when you are thinking.  For that moment, at least (of noticing silence) , you are present.

Noticing that there is silence between the words and underneath the words is a clear sign that presence is arising.  Eckhart Tolle

You can notice what your mind is doing because no matter how unconscious you may be, you still have access to a deeper part of you that is awareness.  It is this awareness that notices presence.

We do not need to be lost in thought no matter how urgent our mind tells us those thoughts are.  We can become aware of those sweet moments where there is no thought.

Even if we are carrying around a heavy story of trauma like many of us are...we do not have to get lost in that mental story.  Whatever happened to us...was something that just happened.  It is not us.  We are the awareness that notices how we are using story to build a stronger "me". We are not, nor do we need the story or a stronger me.  What we need is awareness of the still, silent  presence that is us.  We find that whenever we notice silence.

So keep noticing.

All is well

Eckhart Tolle(2017 )Talk to Your Thoughts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yrRHaE_7d4

A Better Way

Eventually everyone begins to recognize, however dimly, that there must be a better way (ACIM:2:III:3:6)

Living in a State of Unease

The "surface I" lives in a state of frequent or permanent unease...never completely satisfied...(Eckhart Tolle)

The ego, that part of us that most of us identify with and that  is considered to be the "normal" part of us, lives in a state of constant unease.  It is constantly wanting more than what it has because it survives on a state of "not enough", neediness, craving and discomfort. It turns to the outside world around us to fill itself up and begins to grab, strive, do and cling in order to end the unease and suffering. 

What it does, however, is only create more pain.  All things the ego creates  will eventually decay, die, fade away, get lost or be taken and we will suffer again and again.  As long as we are looking for the outside world of form to end our suffering and make us happy...the more suffering we will endure.

There is a better way.

Eventually all of us will realize that we do not need to live in this constant state of suffering derived from mental striving.  We will realize, (for many of us not until the moment of our death), there is a better way.

What is this better way?

The better way is to stop long enough to ask ourselves what is it we truly want.  We need to  turn our vision gently away from the busy external world and place it on the deeper "I" that resides within. We need to seek more silence, more stillness to find this Self and to question if the way we have been conditioned to see things is really the only way to see them. 

The many masters who have transcended to this level, tell us that in that quiet space , when the mind is still, we will find the truth.  We will see that all our doing, striving, clinging was for nought.  What we really need to be happy and peaceful is already in us.  We are already "It". All these things we fought for will lose their importance and we will see and understand what is really important. It is not what the "ego" wants, it is what the spirit within us wants.

Whether you agree with this or not, do you not think it is at least worth a try?  When your suffering gets big enough...you may be willing to find another way...and this "Soul Seeking" may be it.  It just may prove to be the better way. I know it is for me.

All is well

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

                                                                          John Lennon

 Happy Canada Day Canada!

A Means to an End?

One of the most prevalent patterns [of the mind] is reducing the present moment to a means to an end.
-Eckhart Tolle

Normal

It is 'normal' for most of us, isn't it, to treat this moment like it is something we just have to get through or out of the way so we can get to the next moment?  We assume the next moment will be better than this one? This way of dealing with "time" is so inherent in most of, so ingrained in the subconscious mind that we are often not even aware that we are doing it. It is 'normal'.   I love Eckhart Tolle's take on this: My definition of normal is insane.

Time

We do not just treat moments like this but whole chunks of so called time.  We are always just getting through the time in front of us to get to something better.  We are "waiting" for life to be something worth living. We spend our workdays counting down to the weekend, don't we?  We spend our childhoods waiting to "grow up".  We spend our adult years waiting to find the perfect person and the perfect job to make us whole and complete. Once we get the perfect job...we wait for retirement. Once we find the special someone we wait until they change to become  everything we want them to be to make us happy. The moment we are in, the time frame we are in is often just used as a stepping stone to the next moment. We can't wait to get through it and be done with it.

Present or Future?

What then are we doing in that moment or that chunk of time  while we wait?  We are enduring, projecting, dreaming and anticipating or hoping for something better.  We are not "there" in the present. We are in our heads and lost in some mental projection we call the future.

The future never comes people!  When the next moment comes...it is "this moment".  There is no arriving.  You can hop and skip over every stepping stone you find yourself on but that momentum  isn't taking you anywhere but away from the present moment...away from living the only life you got!

Getting Ready For Something Better

So you are getting ready to go out on a date with someone you think might "be the one". You have to shower, fix your hair, shave, do your makeup ( or maybe both)...what is the quality of your doing?  Are you paying loving attention to the water coming down over you as you shower?  Are you aware of the scent of the shampoo and the softness  of the soap lather against your skin?  Or are you totally unconscious of anything other than that you are all twisted up inside thinking about how you hope the person likes you and that you get along or that it isn't going to be too uncomfortable?  Maybe your mind is taking you to a church and you  see yourself  walking down the aisle.  Maybe you see yourself with his/her children in your arms. Or maybe you see him or her rejecting you when they figure out how "defective and unworthy" you are. 

Chances are you don't even notice the water, the smell, the feel of anything as you shower...because you are not "there."  You are somewhere in a time that doesn't exist.  This moment you are in is just a means to get you out the door and into your car.  Driving the car is just a means to get you to the date.  The date is just a means to get you into a special relationship...and getting committed to this person  is just a means to get you to place where you can be happy and secure.

Life is in this moment right here, right now

Hmmm!  What about this moment right now?  Right here and right now?  How much loving attention are you giving it?  This right here now is the only Life you have. That up there is something you will never "arrive at" because it doesn't exist anywhere but in your head. Do you get that yet?

By all means  have dreams and make plans as to how to get yourself there but don't ignore the Life that is happening right here and right now.  Pay special loving attention to everything you do.  Notice it all.  Appreciate it all and start living now.

Life, after all, is what happens when you are busy making other plans.

All is well


Eckhart Tolle (June 2019 ) The Ultimate source of Wisdom and Balance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ptJ8UCbDGQ