Under Observation

 

Nothing has such power to broaden the mind as the ability to investigate systematically and truly all that comes under thy observation in life. 

Marcus Aurelius

I am sitting here with a mixture of "stuff" ebbing and flowing inside me. This little bug that is taking longer than expected to recover from is leaving a dark cloud in the mind. Some negativity and samskara leakage is resurfacing.  It is a little challenging to be all enthusiastic and energetic right now.

The body and mind are so connected,  remember. When the mind receives a shock, as in trauma say, the body absorbs these reflex warnings and emotions. It clings to them for self preservation reasons. There is such an automatic connection there. This works both ways. When the body receives a shock as in illness...it sends messages to the mind. These messages ...seem to say, "Okay I need to get better here.  I need rest. So don't be all perky and energetic like right now, k? Just kind of go into a funk somewhere so I can take care of business, alright?" These messages  fatigue and depress the mind a bit. 

So, when the body is down, we are down mentally.  And when we are mentally down, we are down physically. Of course, the opposite is true.  If I am up mentally, I seem to have more physical energy.  If I am feeling on top of my game physically, I tend to be happier and more positive mentally. Just watch yourself to verify that connection between your body and your mind. It really is a truth that goes beyond the "woo-woo" teachings of a western yoga teacher lol

Investigate; Observe

So anyway, I am observing my body through this bug and I am observing my mind.  I watch when I slip into negativity and old conditioned ways of thinking and feeling.  I watch how my body wants me to say no to extra work while my mind drags up old messages "You cant say no!  You can't displease people etc. Take care of others...not yourself." I watch the self deprecation tendency, that still lingers a bit inside me, arise  and flitter about in my psyche.  I watch as it dissolves when the body gets louder. I watch the desire for self care emerge, I embrace it, and then I watch as it too flitters away.  Up and down I ride the samskara wave triggered by this little virus.  And a lot of time, I just find myself leaning back watching what the world around me is doing, watching what the body is doing, watching what the psyche is doing, and saying from the position of awareness, "Wow! Look at what I am observing and experiencing. Isn't this all amazing?" 

When I catch myself there, I realize how far I have come on this journey. I truly am detaching and disidentifying. It is an amazing feeling to watch the body and mind react in whatever way they are reacting and to know that you are just watching and experiencing it.  If you are observing and experiencing, you are not that which you are observing and experiencing, are you?  You are that which observes and experiences. Wow! 

So cool! All is well.