Working the Pause, Part Three

 You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Two big words in this quote: "Stop" and "Look". When we are working the pause...we are stopping, stepping back, and then looking deeply into what is showing up in our experience. We are not resisting any of it by pushing away or down. When it comes to fear...our healing involves being willing to stop our running, sit in stillness, and look at it in the face. 

And...

We need to know how to work the pause....

The most important thing we can do when it comes to working the pause is relax.  Relaxation is the opposite of resistance.  Without resistance there would be no reactivity. So the moment we feel stimulated and triggered...we do what we can to relax.  Please know that we are not asking the samskaras and their associated sensations, feelings, and thoughts to relax...we are not expecting that the anxiety or the  discomfort go away. Our intention is that we, as the Objective Observer, do the relaxing as we observe and experience what is happening in this pause.  We can mentally or physically step back from the trigger, take a few deep breaths, close our eyes for a microsecond, encourage muscle groups in the body to relax, reframe the situation in a positive way or do a mantra like "I can handle this !" Then we make clear conscious choices for action or non-action. This also doesn't mean we continue to endure an unhealthy  external situation, that we do not do what can be done to change the situation if it is called for. It just means that instead of flying into an action that didn't come from a healthy place, we choose what step to take next from a healthy place.

Hopefully, we have done some practicing  in relaxing and working the pause in non triggering times. Amongst daily meditation and mindfulness practice, I encourage the frequent practice of Progressive Muscle Relaxation. PMR can help us distinguish between resistant/ tense and relaxed body sensations. A frequent and regular  practice can help us to truly relax in the face of a real trigger. 

In that space, above all else...Relax.

 All will be well! 

All is well!