To Want or Not To Want, that is the Question

For desire is life, and life is change, and change is progress, and they all answer  one immutable law.
Uell S. Anderson, location 580 

I am still thinking about desire and finding myself in a bit of a mental dilemma: To want or not to want?

I have studied and I have practiced very committedly present moment acceptance, this letting go and allowing...even embracing those parts of my experience that lead to suffering.  I truly have learned to accept the moment for what it is.  I have.  I find peace in my present moment.

But....

Is it okay to want more?

Is it okay to say I accept my present situation but I don't necessarily want to stay here?  And when is acceptance a closing off of what could be?

Does wanting lead us in the direction of ego happiness or spiritual fulfillment?  Or can it be just a neutral thing in our experiences, effecting neither, as long as it is in the "middle way".

Is it okay for a person who is suffering chronic pain, to want freedom from that pain...rephrased positively..."a comfortable full experience of living"?  Is it okay for someone who has a limited bank account and a fair amount of  normal life incurred debt to want enough money to pay the bills? Is it okay for a person who suffers from depression, to want to be happy? A person with cancer to want to be well? A person who is alone , to want company in the form of a relationship?

I suppose we have to look at what we mean by "Is it okay?" ,  what we mean by "wanting, and then on what and how we want. .

Is it okay to want?

When I ask that question, "Is it okay to want?", what do I mean by 'okay'?  Right away I have to ask, am I  stepping into this trap of duality? ...Am I really asking , "Is it right or is it wrong to want?" 

The answer,  of course,  it is neither right or wrong to want.  Wanting just is. It is said to be , by many philosophers and spiritual masters, "normal" to want as human beings.  Wanting is a part of our expansion package, our evolutionary process. Wanting is the planting of life seeds...all things created begin with wanting.  In order for the world to be peaceful...we must start with wanting peace.  In order for the planet to survive, we must want it to get healthy again. Wanting is a necessary step in our  being human and the world we create , right? Even when we avoid or back away from something we don't want, we are actually  wanting something.  If I back away or resist pain...I am really wanting comfort or freedom from pain.  If I am walking away from a chaotic situation, I am wanting peace.

So it is normal and therefore okay to want.  To place a judgement on the wanting experience in human life, is to place a judgment on who and what we are.  We are, in some sense, creators of our worlds, or at least of our experiences.  (Anderson, Yoga Sutras). That world and those experiences all begin with wanting. Wanting begins in the mind and manifests out into the world we create.

So maybe we should ask, instead: Is my wanting beneficial to me and others?

So, what is wanting?

What is wanting? That is a good question.  Wanting usually implies a desire for something we presently do not have. When we want something...we want what we do not see in our experience in this present moment already. Wanting, then, is a search for "more".  If, however, we already have all the conditions in our present moment that we need to be truly happy, as the Buddha taught...we wouldn't want then, would we? So the person who perceives themselves to be  struggling financially, does not feel they have enough money in their account to be secure, so they want more.  The lonely person may feel they do not have enough contact with or enough depth in their relationship with people in their life, so they want more.  In this wanting we perceive a lack of and therefore we desire more.  We do not see that we have all the conditions we need to be happy.

 Or maybe our wanting is to realize that truth...to see and understand that we already have all we need...is that not still wanting?  Wanting knowledge, understanding and spiritual enlightenment implies that I do not already have it or enough of it and I want more.  I may not feel happy and I may be suffering...my reason for wanting spiritual enlightenment is to end that suffering.  I am not, then, at the present moment, no matter how much I accept it, feeling or knowing that I have everything I need to be happy, assuming that when I am enlightened, I will be.  I, therefore want more enlightenment. I want more than what I have now.

But if I didn't see a lack in  my awareness and did not actively want spiritual enlightenment...would I seek to find it and therefore one day find it? Even if wanting requires no effort, as Anderson writes, if I did not actively put the wanting seed in my mind...would enlightenment ever come to me?


So wanting, then, is a necessary part of "everything" created...even our sense of spiritual liberation. It is not only okay to want but necessary to want.

But maybe, our own attached connotation to the word "want" is tripping us up.  What if we used volition instead..."will".  In the Eight Fold path, "Right Volition" is an important step in Buddhist practice ...to intend and will something to be in a way that serves self and the world best.  (Don't get tripped up by that "right" word in Buddhist doctrine ...I find it easier to replace it with "healthy" ).  Right ( healthy volition) will help to end suffering and bring lasting happiness.

Anderson  and many, many others also use "will" interchangeably with "want and desire".  The focus, though, is not on our puny little "egoic" will...but on God's Will.  God's Will for us, God's intention for us, God's desire for us is what we really, really want!

What we want.

This brings us to what we want which is an important step in understanding healthy wanting.  There is nothing wrong with wanting that Porsche but we have to ask:  Is it healthy? Does this wanting...this focus of my intention, this seed I am planting in my subconscious mind, bring me closer to or further away from what I really want?  Is wanting that Porsche , that seven- digit bank account "healthy wanting" ?  Healthy wanting, according to many including Anderson,  is that which is synonymous with what God wants for us. (God, universe, higher consciousness, Life, Toa,  are really all the same thing, right, with different names? )

That is the question then isn't it?  What does God want for us?  Would a loving Father, a Kind Creator that creates so much beauty for us, want us to suffer?  Think about that. Would He (or whatever pronoun you need to use here) want us depressed, afraid, attacking each other?  Would He want us suffering, broke, starving, in pain? If we believe in a Loving God...how could we believe that to be so?  If you are a parent...do you want any of this for your children? Consider what you want for your children as  what God wants for us only , infinitely greater.

Unhealthy Wanting

If God's Will is for us to be tremendously happy, loving, peaceful, completely safe, and needing nothing...then why are so many of us...not well, not happy, broke, starving, angry, violent and at war with one another? This, obviously is not God's Will.  When we experience these things, we are aligning with another will...with ego's will and are being taken away from what God wants for us.  We are being guided by ego and therefore unhealthy wanting.

It may be  ego's input that says that Porsche will make you, as a separate little being, in a mean, competitive and unsafe  world, the envy of your friends...will allow you to "one-up" them so you do not feel quite so bad about yourself and therefore help to reduce your "personal" suffering.  If that is the case, that is not healthy wanting.  It is not aligned with God's Will for You.  That Porsche will only make you feel happy for a short period of time and desiring it may override the more lasting and fulfilling seeds of compassion and kindness within you.

So you have to ask, when you want something, : Is this really going to bring me closer to what I really, really want which is what God wants for us or further away?  Is it ego or spirit that wants this thing I think I want?  Will getting it serve me, others and the world? Or will it just temporarily feed an ego that never can be fed enough? Am I putting my attention towards what I really want? Am I watering the seeds I want to see grow?

Back to the Ultimate Question: Is it okay for me to want more than this?

Of course, my true Self answers.  In fact, it would do me and the world good to ask for more. It is okay for me to want to be healthy, at peace, free from suffering.  Wanting this is taking me closer to God for I know somehow and in someway, that is what is wanted for me.

That wanting begins with recognizing, a lot of times, what we don't want.  If it is okay to want, it is also okay to not want.  We don't want suffering.  The Buddha didn't want suffering...he was seeking a way to end it when he began his journey.  And there is suffering in the world. That doesn't mean we judge something as "bad' or "evil" with our minds or actively resist and push it away because we assume it is teh cause of suffering.  We simply recognize, allow and embrace the unwanted as being a part of our moment...as being a tool to open us up to something Greater. We look deeply at it and from there are able to gain insight as to what God wills for us....which will be the opposite of this unwanted experience.

So in this moment we accept and allow whatever is...but...we also plant the seed of what we want or at least recognize it has already been planted.

So if you are ill, it is okay to want health. Accept this moment and the illness which is a part of it while the seed for wellness gets planted.  Water the seed of wellness from here on in.  If you are broke, it is okay to want money.  Accept the moment you are in with the bank account you have in that moment, but plant the seed for more.  Water that seed. If you are lonely, it is okay to want a new or better relationship.  Accept the moment you are in and your feeling of loneliness, then  plant the seed for connectedness.  We just have to water the seeds. Just don't be too concerned about how it gets done or when it gets done.  If it is in God's Will, it will be yours...and happiness is God's Will for you. Trust that!

It is okay to want...as long as you always remember what you really, really want...this connection with God's Will for you.  And pay appropriate attention to what seeds you are watering and why. Ensure that your wanting is healthy and that desire never overrides or gets in the way of the healthy seeds from growing in your Life...those seeds that will bring true happiness and joy to you.

All is well.



ACIM

All the dharma talks I have listened to


Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.