Teaching and Learning

Teaching and learning are your greatest strengths now, because they enable you to change your mind and help others to change theirs.
ACIM chapter 4: I: 4:1

The noon sun is shining brightly through my window.  It is warm and bright despite the winter temperatures.  How comfortable it is right here, right now.  I have everything I need.  I am everything I need to be.  Wow!  Imagine if that notion was so implanted in our minds it became knowledge (remembered knowledge)?  Is that what we are all seeking?  That awareness that we do not need to strain, to seek, to cling, to find something out there?  That all we need is within us? Is that not what peace is?  Seeking peace is an oxymoron, I suppose.  Because  peace is already here.

I will be back in the New Year with a renewed intention to teach to learn; and to learn to teach. 

All is well!

Added Perk

Writing to me is simply thinking through my fingers.
Isaac Asimov (https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/isaac_asimov_382193?src=t_writing)

Another article published.  Yeah!  Check it out!

http://www.aquarianonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Enlighten-Up-with-The-Aquarian-Winter-2017-issue.pdf

I was so excited and grateful for the opportunity to be published by this press and even more so when I seen a life long  Canadian idol of mine, David Suzuki, published there at the same time.  :)

I was just thinking today about how good it feels just to write and to learn all the wonderful things I am learning and subsequently sharing with my words.  Publication is an added perk! (and a part of the cycle). It's all so good!

All is well!

Greatest Gift

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/gift)

What was the greatest gift you gave this season and what was the greatest gift you received?  That sounds like a pretty shallow question to ask doesn't it?  Almost equivalent to the one we would so excitedly ask our friends  when we were younger: "What did you get for Christmas?" lol 

I do not intend to indulge the ego here.  I mean it as a thought provoking probe for reflection only.  Christmas is not about the material gifts though our egos and our society so wants us to believe it is. It is so much more than that.

So what did you give that made a difference?

Maybe you gave material items to someone who needed a physical, financial or emotional boost.    Maybe by so doing you provided some comfort, some ease...some diminishing of suffering.  That's wonderful. Maybe you made someone smile and feel joy?   Isn't our whole experience here about feeling good and allowing others to feel good?  So maybe you gave something of a physical nature that made a difference in someone else's life.  Good for you. I hope you feel good about that.

Or maybe you gave something of the subtle nature: kindness, patience, compassion or love.  Now that is what Christmas is about, is it not? When offered where it is needed most we create a better world, do we not?   When we extend these things to the places and things and people we are resisting...we create transformation.  Forgiveness is the greatest gift Christmas offers us...of others, of life of ourselves.  When we forgive and accept, we settle into the peace of the moment...and that settling in is, ironically, what changes everything. I hope you experienced the sheer joy and peace that comes with giving these things this season.

Maybe you gave your time and your energy?  How wonderful is that because as the above quote from Emerson states, the greatest gift is a part of who you are?

Whatever you gave...I hope it filled you with the joy of giving.

The greatest gift I gave was a part of me, I suppose.  As a creator, I took time to create.  I made things with my photos and I gave that.  It didn't take that much money which was a good thing...it just took time, energy, my good thoughts, my desire to offer something with meaning and my self.  I knew it was the right gifting because it felt right. 

I gave myself to my children...my time, my company, my presence and my love.  What I got in return by giving was the only gift I needed.

What was the greatest gift you received?

Maybe you are catching on to the point of my rant here?  The greatest gift we receive is what we give.  It truly, truly is.  It is not measured by how many gadgets that end up beneath our tree...it is  about how we feel!  When someone receives this "portion of thyself" and they light up.  That's the gift...that smile, that joy, that peace that our giving offers another...is the gift. It fills us with something so very precious.  It doesn't get any better than that!

Giving is receiving!

All is well in my world.

Good News of Great Joy

And the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be a sign to you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger."  Luke 2: 8-20 (ESV)

What was this child Savior to bring to the world?  He was  to bring lessons of forgiveness, peace and love. ...so that we...the whole world..."all the people" ... could learn to follow in His footsteps and find true joy.

Merry Christmas. Have a blessed and peace-filled holiday.

Being Rich at Christmas

The richest person is the one with a cool mind , free of tension and anxiety.
Sri Swami Satchidananda

Sigh!!! I am realizing just how not rich I am lol.  I awoke at 3 ish and was unable to settle back to sleep...thinking about how unrich I am in the worldly sense...and how stressful that is making this holiday season.  So at this moment I know I am not free of tension and anxiety, therefore I am not rich.  Are you?

How do we get rich?

I am not complaining so much about my financial situation.  I have "enough" to put bread into the stomach and that is all any of us need.  I am able to feed everyone thanks to D.'s contribution into the household.  I have a roof over my head.  I have a vehicle to drive.  I have more than that.  I have more than many.  I don't have a lot for gifts though and as long as I am caught up in this commercialized version of Christmas and listening to ego who says, "Oh!  you have to get more than that for that person.  They will be so disappointed if you don't" which sadly I am, I won't be free of tension and anxiety.  I won't have a cool mind.

How do we get this cool mind? 

Letting go is always the means of getting a cool mind.  We can  let go of tension and anxiety by understanding and letting go of the "thinking" and "believing" that brings it on. This version of
Christmas...is something "ego" created with its notion of "specialness". Do we not all have this running advertisement in our heads: "Show the special people in your  life just how much you care with the purchase of this or that..." ? Is it not time we questioned that?

First of all: How does a "thing" represent something as powerful and permanent as love?  It doesn't.  We love....because that is what we are.  And we are not things

Second of all...Whose "special"?  This whole notion of the "special relationship" comes up again.  Kindness to all is the thing isn't it?  What did good old Santa call out as he and his disgruntled reindeer flew off of the rooftop, "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" He didn't pick out a select few names like the lady in Romper Room did, excluding the vast majority. He included all.  lol

More importantly, in the real meaning of Christmas, what is intended by  remembering the birth of Christ: "Peace and joy to the world!"  Not just peace and joy to the people in our families and a few select friends who we want to impress with our thoughtfulness. That is ego!

Not a Grinch.  Really?

I am rationalizing my lack in the gifting department...I actually used to be quite extravagant...I am still caught up in ego's little games even if I do not have the circumstances to allow me to carry it very far...there is no doubt about that.   But I do see and realize what I am doing and I have to question why.

 I want to be rich in the truest sense of the word and that will involve getting rid of ego's hold on me no matter how socially conditioned and expected it is. ...even at Christmas! It will involve replacing tension and anxiety with peace. Imagine floating through the holiday on a cloud of sublime peace and contentment...rather than struggling, fighting one's way through it?

Why wouldn't we want to be rich this Christmas in the truest sense of the word? Even if it means taking all the whistles and gadgets from "Whoville" and learning the true lesson of what Christmas is all about.

That is my sleepless rant for the day.

All is well.

Bread or flowers

The stomach is crying for a piece of bread; the hair is crying for a bunch of flowers.
-South Indian Proverb

It is Christmas time and many of us here in North America are busy scampering around buying this or that to please our loved ones and ourselves.  We are stressed to the max possibly wondering why we are doing this to ourselves.  Every Christmas I am consumed with that "stressed out"  feeling and if I break it down I see I am feeling a certain pressure to adhere to socially imposed expectations that I choose willingly to adhere to every year; I feel guilt about being so materialistic...buying gifts for people who already have so much while people in the world are starving; I feel worry over the possibility of  offending someone with the wrong gift or the lack of a gift  and about the further debt  all this purchasing puts me in.  I really feel stressed because I know this is not what my soul needs...this is not what Christmas is all about.  This is ego's version of Christmas I am trapped in( willingly) and I don't much like it.

This year is different.  Christmas is only five days away and I have nothing done and I really do not care lol.  I see my past behaviour, ego's demanding expectation for what it is. I don't want to get caught up in its circus anymore.  Besides I have been placed in a wonderful situation circumstance wise where I have no choice but to step away from materialism.  I do not have the means to buy anything much for anyone.  I will take a small loan from D. to buy my children something small and I will make sure that I give to those in need but that's it.  I will use what I have: photographs worth framing, a few chosen words and maybe some dolls made of toilet tissue rolls and pipe cleaners (lol) as tokens of my well wishes and love. That's what gifts are meant to be,  aren't they?  Tokens of our love not garlands for the hair?

The priority is to feed the belly's of those in need.  What would happen, I wonder, if society finally got it right.  And if all we spend on each other, who already have so much, went to feed those who have so little?  If we gave gifts of ourselves to each other rather than things shot out of an assembly line? If we focused more on simply being over the holiday than all this doing in the form of shopping, purchasing? 

Please know...I am not being self righteous.  I am still caught up in all this Christmas stuff.  I have no right to judge anyone!!! I am just saying guilt and worry and pressure are emotions that should never go with this season...any season really. I am  sure I am not the only one who feels uneasy  with ego's version of Christmas. 

Wouldn't it be nice to embrace Spirit's version of Christmas instead...love and peace and joy...nothing else? Just saying ...Wouldn't it be nice if we gave gifts where they were truly needed: the material stuff where there is so little, bread to the empty stomachs and the being there stuff to a society that sometimes forgets the importance of connecting to others, and Self?

I have to work on that in my mind and my life.  This year...I have been given a wonderful, blessed opportunity to do so.

All is well.

Viveka

As the mind, so the person; bondage or liberation are in your mind only.
-Sanskrit saying translated by Satchidananda (Yoga Sutras; 2011)


Viveka is a Sanskrit word that refers to the process of trying  to see and understand the permanent aspect in everything and then to ignore all that is impermanent. Hmmm!

Say what crazy lady?

Connecting the Dots

I was able to connect some more dots today in my reading of  the Sutras, ACIM and the words of my Buddhist mentor Thich Nhat Hanh.  If I had to use one word to sum up that connection it would be Viveka. 

Once we are able to discriminate enough to tell the difference between what is real and what is unreal; what is temporary and what is eternal; what is ego and what is Spirit we will be free of the bondage of all worldly things... will we not?  We will no longer be trapped by illusions. 

Two Gifts; Two Pictures

Chapter 17, Section IV. of A Course in Miracles describes this discrimination beautifully in their description of the "special relationship."  The ego uses the special relationship as it does all its puny gifts to allude us into choosing it over Spirit.  It presents its gift as a picture  in a beautiful frame that draws in our attention and keeps us there. Frames are nothing but a way to present a gift. It is the frame that is beautiful in ego's gift to us, that keeps us there...not the picture.  The picture is dark and fuzzy offering nothing but empty promises but the frame is beautifully jewelled  in its promises to save us from all the awful things this world has to offer. Ego's gift is nothingness offered in a frame of worldly promises.  Take the picture out of the frame...and what do you have as a gift from ego?  Nothing.  Ego's gifts (all things external) are temporary and impermanent. 

Spirit, God, Life, Truth....however you want to look at it...offers a gift too in the form of a picture.  The frame it comes in is plain and ordinary....not worth considering too much ...worthy of  being ignored for anything but its ability to present the picture to us.  We call the frame... "time".   It is the picture within it that is worthy of our attention. If we take time to look at the picture we will be mesmerized by its beauty.  It is full of light and promises that are already fulfilled.  It is eternity we see. It is Truth. Spirit's gift is always permanent and real. If we take that gift from the frame...it will shine even more!

Discriminating Between Real and Unreal, Impermanent and Eternal

If according to the Sutras, we were to liberate the Purusa or True Self from its bondage with nature ( all external things like circumstances, bodily sensations, emotions, thoughts, the  mind and the body which form picture frames around who we are)...we would be free. We reach freedom through the mind's ability to tell the difference between what is real and what is unreal; what is permanent and what is impermanent. Only the True Self...Spirit...Truth...is permanent.  Does that make sense to you?
We need to remember two things:

1. Every experience in the world is mental. To change our experiences, we change our minds.What we put our minds on we "experience". In order not to experience something we need to remove our mental attachment from it.  One simple way of doing that is by objectifying the experience.  If you are feeling pain, for example.  Instead of saying..."I am unwell.  I hurt."  Ask yourself this question.  "Who is hurting? " It is not the True Self that is hurting.  It is not the picture within the frame.  The True Self just witnesses and observes your body having pain.  Ask then: "Who knows the body is having pain?" When you analyze the pain as something objective...it will diminish its hold on you or go away because you lose your attachment to it.
2. Truth never changes, though the form (or frame) it is presented  in may change. Satchidinanda offers this analogy.  A tree dies to become a log, a log is cut up to become planks; planks are carved into a chair; the chair may be later cut up to become firewood and the firewood may be burnt into ash.  Several frames were put around the real picture throughout the physical  changes.  The tree's essence, however,  never changes or goes away regardless of what happens to the physical form. If we really knew that, wouldn't we be free of suffering...knowing that we cannot destroy the picture, no matter what we do to the frame?  We really do not lose anything. 

Seeking the picture that is real and eternal within the frame; seeking the truth over the illusion offered by ever-changing physicality is the process that will free us. Finding the True Self is the answer, is it not?

Thich Nhat Hanh in peace is every breath (2011; page 37) shares these beautiful words in a Gatha recited to bring us back to the Island of our true self.

I am water reflecting what is real, what is true;

And I feel there is pure space inside of me.

I am free.

 

How freeing is that?

 

All is well in my world

 

 

References

 

Foundations for inner Peace. (2007). A Course in Miracles. Combined Volume. Third Edition. Mill Valley: Foundations for Inner Peace.

Sri Swami Satchidananda (2012) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Yogaville: Integral Yoga Publications

Thich Nhat Hanh ( 2011) peace is every breath. New York: HarperOne

Opening the Gates

Health is a state of complete harmony of the mind, body and spirit. When one is free of physical disabilities and mental distractions, the gates of the soul open.
-B.K.S. Iyengar

And how do we get free of mental distractions and physical disabilities?

We free ourselves when we realize that we are not our bodies or our minds, as taught in the Yoga Sutras.

Learning from chest pain

I broke up the wonderful little routine I had going on to come here this morning.  Was cutting down to  only 2-3 times a week...but waking up with chest pain curtailed my yoga and instead of meditating/reading I found myself with my tea...here.

I needed something from this place.  Company? It is funny...I don't like to talk to people about my physical symptoms...don't want to talk about illness at all really...but when I feel it, observe it, identify with it...I don't want to be alone either.  So I come here...just to sit for a while until the symptoms go away or I get myself up over the mental hump of anxiety and /or frustration they bring about.  Today it is more frustration because I have to go into work and I cannot go until this baby calms down.  :) sigh.....lol

It is all good. I can use this old mind of my mind to think my way up and through it.  It is so cool actually to get to this one point in a lifetime, in a growth process...where we truly see that we are not our body...just an observer of it.  I think we know we are growing when we can look at this situation and instead of saying..."I am sick; I am not well."...we  say, "My body is acting up...there is chest pain at this moment." Just playing with the pronouns and the descriptors changes the whole thought process in the mind, doesn't it?

"I" am not sick..my body is simply not performing at its best.  There is just a miscommunication between mind and body.   It is not me....not the True Self... that is malfunctioning because I am not my body or my mind. I am simply observing it.

How freeing that is to be able to say that, think that and believe that! That is true healing, is it not?

Shhh!  The gates have opened and the baby is finally falling to sleep.  I want to get going before it wakes up again.  :)

All is well in my world.

Passing Show and Walking on Snow. :)

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.
Thornton Wilder

Hmm! This is not the entry that goes with this date.  I have this one already published in hard copy.  There was a poem here. What is going on? 

Feel so blessed by the things that are happening around me.  There is some light entering what seemed like a dark place.  That light is a treasure.  I am seeing that light in everything, even in rejections that would have once stung like the dickens. I see the story as just that "a story"...take it or leave it.  I am not that attached to it. I no longer see my stories as extensions of me, as children I need to promote and protect. I no longer see other opinion as the absolute measure of who I am as a writer and as a person.I see the truth in it and I learn and accept because of it without allowing it to determine who I believe I am.  I am not going to stop writing because of it and may even get better because of it. It is all so good!

Spring is here.  The snow is finally melting.  The temperatures are mild and the sunlight, when it is out, is absolutely amazing.  Bird song everywhere!!! My children are well; my siblings are well; D, is well and my life is absolutely the biggest treasure of all.

Oh...and I have a new washer.  After six months of flooding to the basement...I have a lovely new washer in my laundry room, thanks to D. and his bonus at work.  That is just one of the many little treasures in my life right now.  :)

All is well.

Be Open to Belief in Life After Death

I know absolutely nothing,

so I am open to believe

absolutely everything.

-me

 

 

 





Do you believe in life after death?

 

You may answer yes to that.  If I asked you if you knew there was life after death, could you answer in the same way? There is a difference between knowing and believing.

 

I don't know there is life after death but I certainly believe it.  I believe there is more than this reality I am living in now...that there is much more about us than the body and mind I am using now.  I believe in God...maybe not in the same way I was brought up to believe but I believe there is God. (I now remove the "a", the He or She in my mind if I do not in my verbal description).  I believe we are all here for a reason...not randomly formed piles of dust, victims to random external chaos with an undefined expiration date. I believe.

 

A Desire to Believe may not lead to Truth

 

Yet, I have a very scientific, questioning mind.  Belief doesn't sustain me because I fear it is my wanting to believe rather than true evidence and validation...even the inner kind...that is guiding me. Wanting to believe in something can create fantasy, illusion and delusion in our minds. It can steer us away from Truth.  Isn't that how we got into this mess with ego in the first place.?  :) I do not know about you, but I want Truth.  

 

I want to know. And I would like to know without learning the hard way lol.  I want to know that what I am feeling inside is real...that this life long search to the Ultimate reality is the path we all should be on.  I believe it is.  I even "feel" it is but do I know that without doubt?  No. 

 

Practice and Experience  Beyond Belief

 

So what do I do?  I investigate.  I research.  I read. I listen.  I experiment,  I practice and then I go inside to see how it all "feels."  I have to experience it! Knowledge...true knowledge ...can only come from experience.  "Without experience we cannot understand or learn anything."(Satchinanda, 2011). 

 

What is belief then but a " gut feeling" that something is the way it is. If it feels right to the gut, to intuition or to what is called "instinct" in the animal kingdom is that knowledge? Yogi's would go onto say that all instinct and intuition is,  is  a remembering of something we learned  from another life time. (Satchidinanda, 2011, page 87) What we seem to instinctually and intuitively know now  is simply the learning  we remember from another birth. Say if there is something you just "feel" you "know" to be true but you have no evidence for it...is that knowledge? Could it be that you investigated, researched, read, listened, experimented and practiced this something in another life time until it "felt" like Truth?

 

Look at those musical prodigy's that for some physical reason are  unable to add six plus four but when they are put in front of a piano they play complicated classical pieces with such eloquent ease.  They cannot master simple math but they master the keys  without thought.  How? It is instinctual to them...they are guided by intuition...they are guided by repeated practice in another life.  Of course to believe that you have to believe in reincarnation.  If you do believe in it....do you know it to be true?

 

Do you know that?

 

No...but I am at least open to believe it is possible.  When we realize we do not know anything we become more open to believe.  When we are open to believe...we begin to investigate, research and practice.  We believe. We seek the Truth to determine if that belief is sustainable and when we find it is, we have knowledge.  We know.  Isn't that  cool?

 

Have an open mind.

 

In order to know we must first admit we don't know and from there we open ourselves to all the possibilities out there...testing and experiencing, learning, growing, expanding.  (Possibly not just in this life time but all the lifetimes to come.)

 

An example

 

To test my belief in life after death I began to explore mediumship.  I wanted to learn all I could about it.  I do not know if it is real or unreal.  Is it actually a connection with Spirit or is it purely mentalism and showmanship? I believe it could very well be our link with the Truth on the other side...but I don't know that.  If I closed my mind completely to it...I would never find out, would I?  If I open up to it...it could be the link that takes me where I wish to go...to true understanding. So I read, I listened, and I experienced it.

 

Despite my reluctance to have D. pay for things for me (other than half of our costs of living)...I did allow him to take me to see a Medium's presentation which just happened to fall on the day between the anniversary of my father's and sister's death.  I thought well...if there is such thing as serendipity...that would have to be it, right?

 

We sat in the back...not because I was overly skeptical ... we might have come off that way...but I just wanted to witness, to see it, to feel the "truth" in it so I could go to believing and from believing to knowing that I am on the right path of understanding.  (Otherwise I fear that I am just crazier than a bag of hammers).  I wasn't challenging the medium and mediumship, I was simply challenging a belief. I was looking for validation, not so much from my loved ones, but from the Universe Itself....that we go on.

 

I cannot say I found Truth and knowledge there...but I can't say it wasn't there either.  What I did find was a room full of people needing so desperately to believe in something bigger than themselves.  I found people, like me, wanting to believe...and that both fascinated me and scared me.  It fascinated me because I thought...wow!  The world is waking up.  I am not alone.  And it scared me...because I thought of the psychology behind it.  Desperate desires to believe can lead to fantasy and illusion to numb from suffering with .  If this isn't real...than we are going to end up with a lot more psychotic people in the world with me amongst them.

 

Many of the people around me became believers after our experience.  I felt so glad for them.  So many found peace...could feel it in the room...as they got the closure they needed...and I felt glad for them.  I soaked up that peace. I even found myself wanting to believe that my father was coming through by one of her descriptions when I or the medium herself were doubtful ( could tell by her reaction to my wildly wagging arm to get her attention) . I got drawn in by the wanting to believe that filled the room.  I realized what I was doing almost instantaneously.

 

I walked away with more questions than answers but that's okay. The experience made me examine and question my own path away from what I knew.  It is helping me to grow.

 

I will examine this issue of mediumship in more detail at a later date, okay? It is so fascinating.

 

What I really intended to say was that...we need to keep our minds open to the possibility of anything because we know nothing for sure, do we?  If a belief brings peace, like it did to so many in that room, it can't be all bad can it? And what if?  What if mediums truly are the guiding link between us and life after death?  Would it not be something worthy of exploring? 

 

Yet you could heal and be healed if you did question it.  And even though you know not Heaven, might it be more desirable than death? You have been as selective in your questioning as in your perception. An open mind is more honest than this. (ACIM:Chapter 13: IV:3:5-8)

 

Know that you know so little and have an open mind to foster belief, experience and knowing.

 

 

All is well in my world!

 

 

References:

 

Foundations for Inner Peace (2007) A Course in Miracles: Combine Volume; Third Edition. Mill Valley: Foundations for Inner Peace

 

Sri Swami Satchidinanda ( 2011) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Yogaville: Integral Yoga Publications

The Boulder

 

The Boulder

Why do you give me this boulder to carry, Father,
when my load is already so heavy
and the road ahead of me so rough and long,

leading me to  a somewhere I cannot see?

Oh that is not how it really is, my child.

We have walked along together
for a long, long time
you and I.
All your life,
I was holding your hand.
I was showing you
the beauty and abundance of this world
I created for you,in you,

I was forever
pointing to the canopy above us,
full of luscious life and music...
while you were busy counting pebbles
on the path we traveled on.

I was surrounding you with the
precious stillness of the moment,
wrapping you in its warmth while
you were busy moving,
looking back,
looking ahead,
questioning where each twist and turn
would take you.

I was laying a smooth and endless
road before you
but all you saw were obstacles.

When you saw the massive boulder
at your feet
you picked it up
in hope that carrying it

would scourge you of all your sins

and make up for your  weaknesses.

I asked you to put it down
but you weren't listening to me ...
you were too busy crying over
the callouses on your palms
and the aches and pains you were feeling.
I told you were not the body that was in discomfort,
and that what you carried was nothing but dust
but you did not believe me...
You chose to experience every speckle

of insignificant dirt
as a 100 lbs of human misery.

I was patient.
I put my arms around you as we walked,
encouraging you and loving you,
but you did not feel me.
You were too busy feeling
the blisters on your tired feet,
and collecting grievances.
I even carried you a while
but you did not notice.
You thought it was a dream
brought on by your body's fatigue.

I was always with you...
child...
patiently teaching,
directing,
showing the way
but you ignored me
as you raced to get ahead of your brother,
to be in the lead in some race you

created in your mind.

You cursed the rock you carried
for slowing you down...
allowing its weight to break your breath
and make your heart beat erratically
as you ran with it.
You had no idea
that I was with you
the whole time
asking you to lighten your load
and to slow down

so you could hear My Wisdom.

You stumbled many times.
You called out to me in your pain
and I answered
but somehow you didn't hear me.
You cursed me for being so far away
when I was with you always.
You didn't hear me.

Hear me now.

I want so much more
than this for you
my child.
It was not I who gave you that boulder.
It was you who insisted on carrying something
that did not exist.
Let it go...
just put it down...
and watch it crumble into the nothing it is.
Do not identify yourself
with the pain or pleasure
your body feels.
It is not who you are.
Do not build a wall
of grief and complaint  
around you either...
it will never hide
who you really are
from anyone but yourself.

Instead, feel the peace of letting go.
Walk in joy and ease
with me a while
and you will see
that what I have given you   
is a smooth journey,
full of limitless possibilities.
Put the boulder down, my love...
just let it go.

Stop racing
stop carrying
stop weighing yourself down
and walk slowly and lightly
with your Father
for a while.

 

Dale-Lyn 2012

 

Wow!  I wrote that five years ago.  I was learning back then too, I guess.  The circumstances of my life were pretty heavy at the time and I felt I was given a load that was much too heavy to carry.  Hmmm!

 

All is well.

Thine Liberates 

Mine and Thine

Mine binds; Thine liberates.
Sri Swami Satchidinanda

Is that not true?  When we live in a world where we want everything  to be "mine" are we not bound by the disease of attachment?  Do we end up focusing all our precious life energy on attaining, maintaining, claiming, holding, clinging, protecting , defending and attacking for the sake of the "Mine" label?  Mine is ego's word and it wants us to use it in reverence to it.

What if we were to say no to ego and yes to God?  What if we were to allow Life, in all It's glorious wisdom, to decide for us? What would happen if we put aside our need to control and just say, "Thine Will be done"?  How freeing would that be?  

What if we were to make  everything we do on this planet,  a gift to all beings instead of  just to this one little being who is still stuck in the "me,me" stage of infancy? Would we not be happier and lighter?

I want to put down the Mine and pick up the Thine?  What about you?

All is well in my world.

Giving and Sacrifice

Everything in this life gives. Sacrifice is the law of life.
Sri Swami Satchidananda (translation of The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali (2011); page 26)

Over the week I spent away from you, I began rereading the Yoga Sutras and really tried to grasp what the words and concepts expressed meant.  Satchidananda does a wonderful job explaining.  I came across the above quote as if for the first time (this is my third time through the sutras) and it hit me like a ton of bricks. 

We are Here to Give

We are all...every single one of us on this earth, be we sentient or non sentient...here to give, to sacrifice our being for the survival, growth and expansion of all. How cool is that?

Plants live to give us oxygen, beauty, food and materials necessary for our survival.  Animals live to give us materials, companionship, food and comfort.  Candles burn away to nothing to give us light and warmth. Everything in life gives.  Why would the purpose of humanity be any different?

Humanity's Sacrifice.

Why do Christians worship the cross?  Because it symbolizes the ultimate of all human sacrifices.  Jesus gave His very life for the sake of humanity.  Are we not meant to follow that supreme example , at least, to a much smaller degree? Are we not here to live for the sake of others?

So why then do we live such selfish lives, attached to our personal desires so much so we are at times willing to destroy life in order to keep them? Why are we so attached to our tiny lives as "little me"...when we are here for something so much greater?  Why do we fight to gain, own, possess, achieve, flaunt, and have all the petty things of the world when our existence calls for so much more?  How can we expect to find true happiness doing that when it goes against our very nature?  We are here to give and sacrifice...only then, according to Patanjali will we find peace.

"By renouncing worldly things, you possess the most important sacred property: your peace." ( ( Satchidinanda(2011); page 24)

Small Offerings

I want to devote my life to Life in general.  That is not easy, lol.  I am still very much attached to the things of this physical world.  I fear because of that attachment and find myself far from peace, where I so want to be. But I am willing and I keep trying.

  I give myself away in my work, with my family, friends etc.  I give myself away with my creative pursuits. I offer this blog and my sloppy videos as meager tokens with the hope and intention that they will have some benefit, somewhere to someone. I give the little I have in resources away to those who need it more, as my father taught me to do. Yet...I have a long way to go.

What about you?  What parts of you do you give away without reluctance?  Why don't we make a list of what we are presently giving away...and what we could give away to bring peace to ourselves and to the world?  Even contemplating that should do some good, should it not?

We need to look after ourselves, to care for our bodies and minds, to love ourselves in a healthy way in order to give in a healthy way.  That is so true.  But do we need to have everything? Let's be at least willing to let go of those things on our list; to become detached.  Can we do that?

All is well in my world.

Suggested Reading

Sri Swami Satchidinanda ( 2011). The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.Buckingham;Integral Yoga Publications.

I'm Back

For every positive change you make in your life, something else also changes for the better-it creates a chain reaction.
Leon Brown (http://homean.me/14903/life-changing-inspirational-quotes/life-changing-inspirational-quotes-1-motivational-about-changes/)

Well it is good to be back.  I missed my blogging over the week but being away certainly put some things straight in my head.  I am too obsessed with the writing at the detriment of my health.  :) I need to focus on my body a bit more than I have been doing. So I will write in moderation here, from now on...maybe 2-3 times a week.

What did I do without the daily writing? 

I read, read, and read.  I began rereading the yoga sutras and am almost finished reading a new book, One Spirit Medicine which is hitting home. I revised and edited my short story and my recently rejected novel synopsis/query  and sent them out. I worked two days.  I made myself get up, popped on some energizing music and walked/danced  around for ten minutes, three times a day.  I went on a few walks with D. and the dogs. Out to  a lovely meal with D.  once.   I did yoga and meditated as usual.  I also began doing Progressive Muscle Relaxation again on a daily basis (creating a video for you in the process).  So I certainly did enough but it isn't about doing...is it?

I felt better...well to the point I did too much physically...was once again reminded of my body's perceived limits which is good.  I need to respect that.  For the most part I felt good. It was a much needed break from doing. I be'd...lol. :)

So I will come back and write about some of the wonderful things I am learning and relearning. Starting tomorrow. 

All is well!
 

PMR

I had to take the video down...was made aware that the music I had coincidently playing in the background was causing a copyright infringement...I had no idea...so teh video is no more...sorry. 

Here is an exercise I threw up onto the blog while I was taking my writing break.  Never mind the "shaky"  start lol.

• If this is the first time you doing the exercise be prepared for a phone ringing half way through...just let your mind get passed it.  :) . 
• I also didn't get a chance to finish with the "coming back to reality" steps...just move each of your body parts, one group at a time,  from the toes to the neck a little bit.  When you get to the face...put on a big beautiful smile and open your eyes.
• Here is hoping it helps somebody somewhere....even just a bit. :)

 

Leaving the Comfort Zone

An overindulgence in anything, even something as pure as water, can intoxicate.
-Criss Jammi (https://www.healthyplace.com/insight/quotes/quotes-on-addiction-addiction-recovery/)

Just a note...to let you know that I am taking a break.  A little insight and other shared observation recently has gotten me questioning if I am using my writing to cope in a healthy way or if the writing has become a numbing behaviour so I do not have to deal with the physical world issues that exists outside this little writing corner.  It is a good question...a very good question and if you have learned anything about me in the last little bit..it has to be that I like a good question.  :)

Arguments for my writing being an unhealthy coping strategy.

Writing is intellectualization

Sometimes, I think writing is a very exquisite form of intellectualization.  Intellectualization is an unhealthy coping mechanisms of living in the mind...coping with life through practical, unemotional examination and analysis of data.  When we are so busy intellectualizing we do not have time to emotionalize our way through life, do we?  I spend many hours here a day because I want to be in my mind rather than in my heart. (I can control that better, lol) 

One could say there are a lot of things going on around me...that have been going on around me, to me, in me (perceptions of loss, trauma, crisis,  illness, suffering the consequences of false assumption, etc etc) ...whatever...that would lead to a negative emotional experience. I think I fear having to emote fully because I think I will be overwhelmed by it...so I think it through instead.  Thinking is so much easier than feeling, is it not?

Writing, the way I write, is numbing and addictive

I speak only for the writing pattern I have established over the last few years.  I write "obsessively" to cope with the anxiety and worry  that comes about when I think of my health, future etc.  When things get a little more challenging I come here.  I come here to numb! 

Writing intoxicates  me...Some people would go for a drink or a drug...work...do...gamble etc...I come here.  It soothes me, it numbs me, it hides me...it makes me feel safe.  It has gotten to the point that I would rather come here than talk to someone face to face.  I literally get withdrawal symptoms when I can't write. Or if I see someone on my computer...it is like a barrier between me and my words...a barrier between me and my drug...I get so angry and frustrated...and find myself pacing back and forth until I can get them away. And when people feel the need to do an intervention...you know there's a problem.

Writing is a problem if it stops one from living fully

Man...my house is falling a part around me; I no longer socialize the way I used to...prefer being with  my words to the company of others ( I guess that is similar to drinking alone). I tell myself ( good old rationalization) that I write because it is something I can physically do with my health limitations.  I can't nurse anymore but I can write etc. I can't clean the house but I can write.

As true as that may be...I use that excuse to explain why I am not looking after my health.  I say..."Writing is my therapy" and it is... but therapy can be addictive and unhealthy after a certain point.   That's why therapists control time spent with clients  and terminate as soon as possible.  While I have been pushing an imaginary and self imposed word count everyday, I have not been pushing myself to get out for walks and to try different exercises to discover what would work for me.  I can go hours sitting here without getting up which puts me at a risk for clots. I am not eating right and my body has been calling out to me over the last few months for change.  I am not as healthy as I can be right now fro all kinds of reasons...but my numbing choices are probably more a part of the problem than of the solution.

Writing is Doing

Here I am writing about the need to be rather than do...but writing is an action...it is something I "do".  Everything I do...I tend to do in excess. I am a doing addict and I just supplemented writing for the more physically demanding doing. It is like an alcoholic saying, "I am not an alcoholic anymore because I went from drinking hard stuff to beer."  I said my illness perception has led to my inability to do...but heck it doesn't stop me from writing does it?  With writing, I am still doing more than being! I feel this need to finish something...send it out...write so many articles and get them published within a time frame...I "have to" write a blog entry a day...no matter what lol?  How many blogs out there have a new entry a day? Man...I am not following my own advice, am I?

So what am I going to do?

I am going to take a break to put this question to the test and to truly practice what I preach about "being".  I have one short story to send out...I will get that out.  Send my recently rejected novel out again.  Then I step away from my vice...to determine if it actually is a negative vice or something that is benefitting me.  I step away for a week....one full week (I won't do, "One day at a time" lol) ...I will do one week at a time...and I will see how I "feel." I will let you know.

Well my dear friends...until we meet again. Keep waking up in a busy world!

All is well!

The Comfort Zone of Writing

Comfort Zone

Tapping, tapping, tapping...
I tap the keys
and push the words out
onto the page,
wrapping myself in their
protective comfort.
Tucking my head in
and away from
the  voices that make
their never ending requests of me,
I hide beneath the clacking rhythm
of their soothing mantra.
 
Here, I am invisible to all.
Demands and disappointments,
assumptions and accusations
that threaten to swallow me whole
exist in a place so far
beyond my safety zone.
I am safe.

Through a tiny hole I have
made in the fabric of my shield
I see
the piles of laundry
building in towers 
the dust collecting in clumps,
the unpaid bills
scattering in messy circles...
As They, with their sad eyes,
disapproving of my choices,
hold their empty plates, 
dropless cups and
appointment calendars
out for me to fill.
 I only scrunch down 
and away.
...tapping, tapping, tapping.

I hear echoes of the world 
 making its  noises...
throwing its cries of loss,
its screams of fear
and its aches of illness
at me
but I can't go.
Not yet.

I stay where I am and I wait
for something  out there
to find me...
for something
in here
amongst the tap, tap, tapping...
to rescue me.
I wait for some medicine
folded in the paragraphs
 of thought pasted to these white walls
to heal my body and mind.
I wait for some wise inspiration
hidden in the awkward words
to give me courage
and strength enough
to leave this comfort zone...
once and for all.
As I wait...
I keep tapping, tapping, tapping.

Dale-Lynn; November 2017

(As much as I am embarrassed and disappointed to make this warning...all my material is copyrighted and will be protected as such.  It is has been brought to my attention that some of my stuff ...for whatever reason...is possibly being taken from my site for someone else's personal gain ( What they would gain from it...I don't know...lol...but I just want to make sure that that is not the case.  :) I am prepared to complete the investigation and follow through with copyright infringement if necessary.  :( ...just sayin).

Writing should be shared as a gift.  I believe that.  I also believe in Karma :)

So why would I post anything new? Poetry to me is so personal, so subjective and not something one ever gains a lot of fame and fortune from lol. There is nothing good or bad about it...poetry just is.   I share this here only because it came out here...on this page...so I assume that is where it belongs.  :)

All is well.

Discovered something strange going on with this site and some of its viewers...just going to check that out before I write more.

Isn't it Ironic?; Part 2

I won't bore you with the details but another rough night overwhelmed by the perception if Illness.  Hard on the ticker so I am taking it easy today. No writing! I am also looking for the "real" reasoning behind it. lol  I will check in with you tomorrow ...maybe then I will be able to explain it. 

All is well in my world!

Ignore the Leaf that Floats on Top

Awareness is the stream, not the leaf that floats on top of it.
-Gordon Smith

Wow!  Those words just blew me away when I read them.  What a simple and classic way to look at our awareness.  What sees, hears, feels and makes sense of our physical world reality?  Our awareness...the Life force, the stream of consciousness.  Our thoughts are merely just leafs floating on the stream...being carried away.  They are nothing.  It is the stream that has the power.

Yet so often...too often...we begin to believe our thoughts are everything.  We allow the perception that our thoughts are carrying us away: She got carried away by her thinking.  He was lost in his thoughts. etc .  How can we be lost in our thoughts?  When the stream is powerful enough to carry the thoughts away.  Focus on the powerful  stream people...not the leafs on top. 

All is well in my world.

Smith, Gordon (2017) Mediumship: An Introductory Guide to Developing Spiritual Awareness and Intuition.E-Book Carlsbad: Hay House

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.
-Abraham Maslow (https://www.pinterest.ca/explore/move-forward-quotes/?lp=true)

I thought I could make the previous entry sound less whiny than the original but nope...still sounds pretty pathetic lol.  Oh well...I whine from time to time.  That's the truth of it!   I have learned, however, not to stay there in the drama.  I don't like being stuck mentally in those perceptions of  lack, loss and limitation. So I always eventually try to take a step and move in at least some direction away from them. I move toward healing, toward growth. I want you to move toward your growth as well.

An example: Being stuck as a writer

Whether you are a writer or not there may be some learning to gain from this example.

 In June I took a step towards becoming unstuck by writing seven articles in a two-three week period for the purpose of submission. I knew I was stuck. I had not submitted short non-fiction in a very long time and knew that to get unstuck I had to focus on submission.  Luckily for me, five  of those articles have been or will be published as of next month. Five out of seven is not bad for any writer.  You would think that getting myself unstuck once would spur me on and motivate me to continue with the process of writing more articles.

But no...I somehow got stuck in the "submission and publication process" and neglected to write new stuff other than what is on this blog. I settled into a comfort zone of waiting for all seven articles to be published before I wrote more non-fiction articles.  The ideas keep coming but I push them aside. I was taking a step back into safety.

In fact, I have been taking a lot of steps back in my writing.  I have not been writing fresh stuff of any kind other than on this blog.  I was not even trying to create new stuff for "potential" publication...just recycling the old from publisher to publisher. One rejection would lead me to sending the work elsewhere. I was also  telling myself, "When my books get published and all the stuff I have previously written gets accepted I will be all set! My feeling of being stuck financially, professionally, and personally will be resolved. I will make money, be able to slip the writer title on the back of my name to replace the RN and I will have found something I can do with a body that is perceiving limitation. " I wrote three books since 2014 and I find myself "stuck" waiting for them to rescue me by getting validated. Now that's stuck!

While I was waiting, I have not been writing the way I want to write. Ideas and new stories keep popping into my head but I put them aside until after I am fully validated.  I am not writing the way I want to write, the way I can write.

When I am on a roll...I am usually writing fiction and non-fiction at the same time.    Fiction uses the right brain more than the left; non-fiction uses the left brain. When I write both concurrently an amazing thing happens...things open up.  If I want to write good non-fiction I need to keep writing fiction and if I want to write good fiction I need to write non-fiction. In my stuckness, I focused on the nonfiction because that is much more publishable and neglected the fiction. Fiction leads to a lot more rejection and disappointment and I wanted to avoid that.  Avoidance leads to staying stuck!

So I had a choice: to stay stuck or to take a step in any direction even if it meant rejection.    I sat down the day before yesterday and said, "Enough of feeling  stuck! Write!"  So I did.  Yesterday I finished the rough draft of a 2500 word short story. I made myself write over 1000 words the first day and the  remainder the second day until I had a story with a beginning, middle and end to it.  The creating part is done.  I will spruce it up, get one person to read it and regardless of their opinion I will send it out there somewhere.  I will have then completed my little writing cycle...Whether or not I get published is not the point...the point is I am writing fiction, risking rejection and sending it out.  That is where the growth comes in...in the movement forward!

I find myself feeling very relieved.  I am not saying the story is good or bad...it just is.  I opened up and I got it down.  I took a step in a direction, even if it is the wrong direction. I am unstuck. 

Moral of this story

Writing is not about waiting for publication...it is about using the now to create whatever is asking to be created.  It is not asking for validation but validating self as a channel for things to come through.  It isn't about submission of perfect work but about expression of the true self in whatever form it presents itself.

Living is not about waiting for something outside you to happen, to push you or take you by the hand.  It is about you taking a step in the direction you are being called.  Even if it seems like you are finding yourself on the wrong path...it will eventually take you to the right one.  Take a step towards your life. It is waiting so you do not have to!

All is well in my world!


.

We all Get Stuck from Time to Time

Sometimes we know we are stuck; sometimes we don't.  In both cases we have to DO something.
-Rush Limbaugh (http://www.picturequotes.com/being-stuck-is-a-position-few-of-us-like-we-want-something-new-but-cannot-let-go-of-the-old-old-quote-18334)

Feeling stuck?  You are not alone.

A little too much Self Disclosure

Yep!  Like many of you, I have been feeling stuck lately.  I have been feeling stuck job wise. Unsure of my future because of my perception of illness and disability. I am stuck financially.  My income reflects the fact that I can only work a few hours a week. I feel stuck in my defining myself professionally.  I am close to losing my title as an RN. So I am stuck between professional identifications. I also feel stuck in my writing.  I am writing nonfiction ( this blog as well as articles, books) but not enough fiction. 

Mostly...I am stuck in limbo between body and mind and ego and spirit.  I am truly realizing that my body is controlled by my mind and if I learn to give ego up for Spirit's guidance...I won't have these limitations.  But I am not there yet. I am in between and it feels kind of like limbo.

Moral of My Rampage

We all feel stuck from time to time...in a place where we are not moving; in a place where we are holding our breath waiting for something to show up, something to change, something to push us.  We tell ourselves we will move when...we will get out of this rut when...; we will be better when...We lose a lot of precious life when we stand and wait. 

The idea is to take a step...any step..in a direction even if it is the wrong one.  Just move in the direction of your dreams.

Move...take a step forward.  It is all we have to do.


All is well.