I know absolutely nothing,
so I am open to believe
absolutely everything.
-me
Do you believe in life after death?
You may answer yes to that. If I asked you if you knew there was life after death, could you answer in the same way? There is a difference between knowing and believing.
I don't know there is life after death but I certainly believe it. I believe there is more than this reality I am living in now...that there is much more about us than the body and mind I am using now. I believe in God...maybe not in the same way I was brought up to believe but I believe there is God. (I now remove the "a", the He or She in my mind if I do not in my verbal description). I believe we are all here for a reason...not randomly formed piles of dust, victims to random external chaos with an undefined expiration date. I believe.
A Desire to Believe may not lead to Truth
Yet, I have a very scientific, questioning mind. Belief doesn't sustain me because I fear it is my wanting to believe rather than true evidence and validation...even the inner kind...that is guiding me. Wanting to believe in something can create fantasy, illusion and delusion in our minds. It can steer us away from Truth. Isn't that how we got into this mess with ego in the first place.? :) I do not know about you, but I want Truth.
I want to know. And I would like to know without learning the hard way lol. I want to know that what I am feeling inside is real...that this life long search to the Ultimate reality is the path we all should be on. I believe it is. I even "feel" it is but do I know that without doubt? No.
Practice and Experience Beyond Belief
So what do I do? I investigate. I research. I read. I listen. I experiment, I practice and then I go inside to see how it all "feels." I have to experience it! Knowledge...true knowledge ...can only come from experience. "Without experience we cannot understand or learn anything."(Satchinanda, 2011).
What is belief then but a " gut feeling" that something is the way it is. If it feels right to the gut, to intuition or to what is called "instinct" in the animal kingdom is that knowledge? Yogi's would go onto say that all instinct and intuition is, is a remembering of something we learned from another life time. (Satchidinanda, 2011, page 87) What we seem to instinctually and intuitively know now is simply the learning we remember from another birth. Say if there is something you just "feel" you "know" to be true but you have no evidence for it...is that knowledge? Could it be that you investigated, researched, read, listened, experimented and practiced this something in another life time until it "felt" like Truth?
Look at those musical prodigy's that for some physical reason are unable to add six plus four but when they are put in front of a piano they play complicated classical pieces with such eloquent ease. They cannot master simple math but they master the keys without thought. How? It is instinctual to them...they are guided by intuition...they are guided by repeated practice in another life. Of course to believe that you have to believe in reincarnation. If you do believe in it....do you know it to be true?
Do you know that?
No...but I am at least open to believe it is possible. When we realize we do not know anything we become more open to believe. When we are open to believe...we begin to investigate, research and practice. We believe. We seek the Truth to determine if that belief is sustainable and when we find it is, we have knowledge. We know. Isn't that cool?
Have an open mind.
In order to know we must first admit we don't know and from there we open ourselves to all the possibilities out there...testing and experiencing, learning, growing, expanding. (Possibly not just in this life time but all the lifetimes to come.)
An example
To test my belief in life after death I began to explore mediumship. I wanted to learn all I could about it. I do not know if it is real or unreal. Is it actually a connection with Spirit or is it purely mentalism and showmanship? I believe it could very well be our link with the Truth on the other side...but I don't know that. If I closed my mind completely to it...I would never find out, would I? If I open up to it...it could be the link that takes me where I wish to go...to true understanding. So I read, I listened, and I experienced it.
Despite my reluctance to have D. pay for things for me (other than half of our costs of living)...I did allow him to take me to see a Medium's presentation which just happened to fall on the day between the anniversary of my father's and sister's death. I thought well...if there is such thing as serendipity...that would have to be it, right?
We sat in the back...not because I was overly skeptical ... we might have come off that way...but I just wanted to witness, to see it, to feel the "truth" in it so I could go to believing and from believing to knowing that I am on the right path of understanding. (Otherwise I fear that I am just crazier than a bag of hammers). I wasn't challenging the medium and mediumship, I was simply challenging a belief. I was looking for validation, not so much from my loved ones, but from the Universe Itself....that we go on.
I cannot say I found Truth and knowledge there...but I can't say it wasn't there either. What I did find was a room full of people needing so desperately to believe in something bigger than themselves. I found people, like me, wanting to believe...and that both fascinated me and scared me. It fascinated me because I thought...wow! The world is waking up. I am not alone. And it scared me...because I thought of the psychology behind it. Desperate desires to believe can lead to fantasy and illusion to numb from suffering with . If this isn't real...than we are going to end up with a lot more psychotic people in the world with me amongst them.
Many of the people around me became believers after our experience. I felt so glad for them. So many found peace...could feel it in the room...as they got the closure they needed...and I felt glad for them. I soaked up that peace. I even found myself wanting to believe that my father was coming through by one of her descriptions when I or the medium herself were doubtful ( could tell by her reaction to my wildly wagging arm to get her attention) . I got drawn in by the wanting to believe that filled the room. I realized what I was doing almost instantaneously.
I walked away with more questions than answers but that's okay. The experience made me examine and question my own path away from what I knew. It is helping me to grow.
I will examine this issue of mediumship in more detail at a later date, okay? It is so fascinating.
What I really intended to say was that...we need to keep our minds open to the possibility of anything because we know nothing for sure, do we? If a belief brings peace, like it did to so many in that room, it can't be all bad can it? And what if? What if mediums truly are the guiding link between us and life after death? Would it not be something worthy of exploring?
Yet you could heal and be healed if you did question it. And even though you know not Heaven, might it be more desirable than death? You have been as selective in your questioning as in your perception. An open mind is more honest than this. (ACIM:Chapter 13: IV:3:5-8)
Know that you know so little and have an open mind to foster belief, experience and knowing.
All is well in my world!
References:
Foundations for Inner Peace (2007) A Course in Miracles: Combine Volume; Third Edition. Mill Valley: Foundations for Inner Peace
Sri Swami Satchidinanda ( 2011) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Yogaville: Integral Yoga Publications
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