The Boulder

 

The Boulder

Why do you give me this boulder to carry, Father,
when my load is already so heavy
and the road ahead of me so rough and long,

leading me to  a somewhere I cannot see?

Oh that is not how it really is, my child.

We have walked along together
for a long, long time
you and I.
All your life,
I was holding your hand.
I was showing you
the beauty and abundance of this world
I created for you,in you,

I was forever
pointing to the canopy above us,
full of luscious life and music...
while you were busy counting pebbles
on the path we traveled on.

I was surrounding you with the
precious stillness of the moment,
wrapping you in its warmth while
you were busy moving,
looking back,
looking ahead,
questioning where each twist and turn
would take you.

I was laying a smooth and endless
road before you
but all you saw were obstacles.

When you saw the massive boulder
at your feet
you picked it up
in hope that carrying it

would scourge you of all your sins

and make up for your  weaknesses.

I asked you to put it down
but you weren't listening to me ...
you were too busy crying over
the callouses on your palms
and the aches and pains you were feeling.
I told you were not the body that was in discomfort,
and that what you carried was nothing but dust
but you did not believe me...
You chose to experience every speckle

of insignificant dirt
as a 100 lbs of human misery.

I was patient.
I put my arms around you as we walked,
encouraging you and loving you,
but you did not feel me.
You were too busy feeling
the blisters on your tired feet,
and collecting grievances.
I even carried you a while
but you did not notice.
You thought it was a dream
brought on by your body's fatigue.

I was always with you...
child...
patiently teaching,
directing,
showing the way
but you ignored me
as you raced to get ahead of your brother,
to be in the lead in some race you

created in your mind.

You cursed the rock you carried
for slowing you down...
allowing its weight to break your breath
and make your heart beat erratically
as you ran with it.
You had no idea
that I was with you
the whole time
asking you to lighten your load
and to slow down

so you could hear My Wisdom.

You stumbled many times.
You called out to me in your pain
and I answered
but somehow you didn't hear me.
You cursed me for being so far away
when I was with you always.
You didn't hear me.

Hear me now.

I want so much more
than this for you
my child.
It was not I who gave you that boulder.
It was you who insisted on carrying something
that did not exist.
Let it go...
just put it down...
and watch it crumble into the nothing it is.
Do not identify yourself
with the pain or pleasure
your body feels.
It is not who you are.
Do not build a wall
of grief and complaint  
around you either...
it will never hide
who you really are
from anyone but yourself.

Instead, feel the peace of letting go.
Walk in joy and ease
with me a while
and you will see
that what I have given you   
is a smooth journey,
full of limitless possibilities.
Put the boulder down, my love...
just let it go.

Stop racing
stop carrying
stop weighing yourself down
and walk slowly and lightly
with your Father
for a while.

 

Dale-Lyn 2012

 

Wow!  I wrote that five years ago.  I was learning back then too, I guess.  The circumstances of my life were pretty heavy at the time and I felt I was given a load that was much too heavy to carry.  Hmmm!

 

All is well.