Lost in Creations?

Your life needs to be a balance between creating and not getting lost in your creations.

Eckhart Tolle

I am sitting here with copies of the writing books I wrote beside me,  wondering what I am going to do with them now that the creative part is over.  I also  know there are other books I put even more time and effort into, in a box in my bedroom collecting dust. I forget so often that those other books exist...that I put many, many hours into writing them, into creating audio versions of each chapter, of creating tutorials.  I loved creating them.  I loved learning and teaching at the same time which I did in the creation of those books. Creating was the part that motivated me.  

I had some hope of their future worth to others...that was a motivating factor as well.  I had hoped they would be helpful, Redeemer Ego stepped in every now and again during the creating process to say things like, "Wow! Imagine if you were actually able to sell those books...to launch a new career as a part-time  EAL teacher to take you out of the finacial debt you are in."

I would recognize ego's voice and shut it down pretty quickly with, "This is not why I wrote them." 

 Ego's dreams of its form of success fizzled out quickly with the chirping up of "Shamer Ego".  "Who do you think you are writing such a book and having the audacity to think others might actually want to read it, let alone buy it?"  As it happens, the books just added to my debt. 

To which Redeemer Ego would then respond..."Yeah...but wouldn't that be a cool 'added on'?  :) 

Back and forth the dialogue went until I got so fed up with the monkey mind chatter that I rounded up the copies I had left, put them in a box, and stuffed them in my closet. Sigh! 

It is all good because I truly enjoyed the process. Thinking about them again is leading me to wanting to get them out there and volunteering my time as a tutor to newcomers in the area needing language learning support.  I could do that. ...if others needed and wanted what I had to offer, that is.

Hmm! 

As for the books beside me...I have an idea what do with them besides give them away to the kids...school library etc. Maybe they will get read and maybe they will do some good. Who knows? They are actually pretty good...all these books are.  The effort put into them shows but how they are received, I guess, is not up to me. 

I am not sure if that is a well balanced creative effort or not...but that is where I am at.

All is well in my world. 

Fulfillment is already here now.  A true creation can not come out of neediness.

Eckhart Tolle ( 2021) The Key to Conscious Creation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VXLqLhDDaI