Selflessness Is Not About Serving Other Egos

 Don't let the 'self' in you get trampled down by the 'selves' in others. 

A Wise Woman I know

I just had a conversation with someone, who is not another yogi, about my desire to make changes in my life. I told her about how "stuck" I feel here and how I fear for my own mental and physical health. I explained that in no way at all is the "me" of this human being served, despite how much is expected of this "me. I am serving others but "me" is being trampled down. I also explained that I believe that might be a good thing. I told her I find it hard to leave or make changes because I believe this might actually be the perfect environment provided by the universe for my practice. My spiritual practice, I explained, is all about, not only denying the needs of "me", but getting rid of this "me" altogether?   

She paused, hummed and hawed a bit before asking,

"So, you need to sacrifice your personal needs, your ego for the needs of other egos? "

It was like a light went on.  I am "stuck" here in this life situation partly because I am confusing the self-diminishment goal of Self. I stay because I think I am serving others and therefore serving Self by pushing aside the needs of this "little me".  The spiritual goal is all about getting beyond ego. Yet, what I am actually doing is feeding and making stronger the egos of other people. I am allowing my own little ego to get walked over, run down, and trampled on in the service of other egos. It is still all about the ego. Duh?  That's not a healthy practice! That is not a healthy living or working situaton!

 Yes, let go of the ego to realize Self  but remember selflessness is not about giving up your ego to serve other egos. It is about getting beyond ego altogether.

I am not serving the Self in all. I am serving ego. That is why I am stuck here. I am feeding a bunch of hungry egos, just not my own. Between a mixed up spiritual mission and a core belief that says the needs of other personalities are more worthy than my own, I kind of got my tires stuck in the mud. I am tired of being stuck.  I am tired of spinning my tires. I am tired of serving ego. I need to make a change for Self.

It's been a long

A long time coming, but I know

a change gon'come

Oh yes it will.

(Sam Cook, A Change is Gonna Come)

All is well!