Compassion is a wonderful thing. It is a sign that you as a human being have already evolved beyond complete identification of form...Never the less, the application of compassion when it becomes action requires awareness...The question is [when partaking in a compassionate deed]: Is there wisdom with it...Or is this a compassionate action without wisdom? ...It requires wisdom. In what way can I help this person?...
Eckhart Tolle
There is someone in this present drama the personality is going through that I have felt great compassion for in the beginning...I could actually feel the pain when I was with this person: the genuine heart break, the sense of abandonment and rejection, the fear, the need to cling to what she identified as an extension of herself etc...I felt great compassion for her and I wanted to help. I agreed to take on the role of go between in communication and to assist with negotiation when asked because I truly felt I could maintain my sense of wisdom enough to help both sides. How delusional I was.
I expended so much time, effort, and energy...to the point of getting drained... only to realize that my compassionate action was not wise. It was Self depleting.
This person did not want my help to communicate and negotiate. She wanted to pull me over to her side so she could use me against the other. I was exhausting myself to no avail and as soon as she realized I was not taking her side (was not going to take any sides but the truth's) she turned on me quite dramatically
There are some people that continously come to you not because they want to get better ...but because they want to suck up your energy...they want your attention...and if you continue to give it you become depleted, you experience burn out and it [compassion] has no purpose...
I still have compassion for her in her pain. I do. I see she is acting out of this pain and others are using her expression of pain to build on this story they created. They are convincing her...not to heal...but to project all her pain onto the other...to blame, and villianize...and to take revenge even when all this will likely backfire on her. This is not healing and what they are doing is far from compassionate. They are acting purely from ego denying the wisdom of their essence.
The essence of who you are always has to be in the back ground of whatever you do, whatever action you perform, whatever words yous speak
It has been a nasty and bumpy ride so far taking up so much of my mental and emotional space, while affecting me physically . That sense of incredulousness over the unwise choices and behaviors of "the others" is still there to some degree. All those dark thoughts and feelings ...the seeds of mental formations as Thich Nhat Hanh would refer to them...that I had tucked inside me had surprised me so much when they came up. I own those shadow selves and I did not like the fact that I was forced to take accountability for them and to make peace with them. :) That was probably the hardest part of this bumpy ride. Yet, after doing so I am surprised to realize that I still have compassion for all.
I ran into a key player in this drama at the bank the other day and very casually, without any emotional attachment, I said, "Oh look whose here too. Isn't that a coincident? " There was no sense of awkwardness, no anger or resentment, no anxiety or fear. It didn't bother me in the least to see her. She didn't bother me...and up to that point she bothered me a great deal.
Some compassion and empathy arose in me as I watched her ignoring us. I had a great sense that she was feeling vulnerable and somewhat threatened by this surprise encounter. I could almost feel her heart beating quickly in her chest as she went into fight or flight. I could sense that who she truly was, was in there somewhere whispering to her that she wasn't being wise. I had a genuine hope that someday she would hear that whisper...not for our sake...but for hers.
I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything. I just walked to where we were directed and sat down amazed by my lack of reactivity. (I guess I have been releasing much more of that old samskara than I realized during my practice....the years of stored stuff I was holding on to, related to her is being cleaned out). Wow! That just blew me away!
And even more significant...was that I was able to feel more than a droplet of compassion and empathy for her. I knew, as I looked at her or later thought of her, that who she was on the inside was this pure light. She just didn't know it yet.
Wisdom and essence are in control now. Thank God!
Sensing the essence in another is true empathy and compassion.
Eckhart Tolle
All is well.
Eckhart Tolle (November, 2024) How to Care Without Burning Out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czAq8cTpEG8
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