Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
Carl Jung
I had a dream last night. I was hauled aside by a loved one of my GP and kindly asked to stop bothering him. I was shocked but needed more clarification. I was told that she heard I was saying unkind things. I felt terrible that I could be unintentionally hurting someone. So, I sat down with her and explained how much I respected him...and though I may have made comments when I did not agree with an approach or order as nurses tend to do, I never meant anything disrespectful. I wanted so desperately to ease her pain.
One of Those Dreams
That was "one of those" dreams I get and that is why I am here. I was, in a sense, being asked to face my own darkness. I know some growth or action is required after those dreams. Of course, dreams are very symbolic, right? Though, I understood the person making the request was a particular someone ...they didn't completely look like that someone. They were a morphed combination of different people I somehow knew even if I never seen them before. And the person we were talking about (that I thought was my GP) was actually a collection of all individuals that I have the potential of hurting or that I hurt in this life (or another). In order for my mind to understand the karmic effect of thoughts, words, and actions I was given a simple dream storyline to follow. An infinite number of beings showed up in one form; the multitude of life experiences showed up as one situation; and all the possible lessons in this curriculum showed up as one conversation. Universal laws like Karma, for the most part, go way beyond the human mind's ability to understand. Consciousness will often "dumb it down" for us as it did for me last night. :)
Karma?
Now, I have been actually thinking of having a sit down conversation with someone over what they were saying in the community about a loved one of mine...bordering on slander...and what they were inadvertently doing to 'punish' him. I was actually going to say those exact words that were whispered to me, "You need to stop bothering him." So, in this dream that person who approached me was also me.
The Learning
The big take away here was how bad I felt about possibly hurting another or having someone else hurting because they thought I said, did, or thought something hurtful. The shame and remorse was very intense, as was my empathy and compassion. Her pain was my pain. It was like a collective shame and guilt I was experiencing...as well as a collective empathy and compassion. I felt that connection. There was no "me".
Consciousness Can Stretch
Why did this all come out in a dream? Consciousness is free to stretch itself out when this idea of "me" isn't in the way. When we are sleeping the controlling 'me' isn't in charge.
Say what crazy lady?
The Effect of Doing What is Unnatural to Consciousness
I believe anything other than the higher energies of Love (and its little ducklings: compassion, empathy, kindness, happiness, peace etc) are foreign to Consciousness (or if you prefer to use the word 'soul'...that's fine too. To that who we truly are.) Even at the most physical level, any lower energy emotion or thought or deed makes us uncomfortable...because it is foreign to our true nature. It makes Life uncomfortable. When we hurt other beings intentionally or unintentionally it is very uncomfortable. So what do we do with this discomfort? Well...all of Life experience is meant to just come in, teach us something, help us to grow, and flow back out of us. We are meant to simply observe and experience not to judge or resist any of it. If we stayed 'clean' inside, all we would feel are these pure energies of Love. There would be no unkindness to another...no need to suffer.
Is that we do? No! We judge discomfort. We resist it! We explain it or defend our reasons for doing it. We suppress, repress, deny, avoid, supplement, numb, project and a host of other defense mechanism actions. We stuff it down and we store it. We clutter our pure Conscousness with junk, including our harmful actions be they merely thoughts or words. That deeply stuffed stuff becomes who we think we are and we do anything to protect it...thus the emergence of the idea of the 'seperate self'.
The seperate self is just an idea and our attempt to feed it, build it, protect it, explain its actions and therefore destroy the seperate self of others who we fear might harm it, leads to a lot more stuffing and storing, a lot more samskaras and a lot more karma. Consciousness just wants to flow. We end up having, however, all this lower energy stuff coiled up inside us that pure consciousness wants nothing to do with. That stuff is not meant to be in here. It is so ailien to conscsiousness that it is constantly getting pushed out but we, with our free will...stop it from coming up and out. We push it back down in defense of the "me". Consciousness just wants to be free of whatever is keeping it from flowing. When we harm others we feel the 'wrongness' of it merely because those actions are foreign to Soul. We stuffed the guilt and shame. When we go to bed at night, though, we are like volcanos with layers and layers of lava waiting to erupt out of us.
The Cleansing and Teaching Power of Dreams
Luckily, Consciousness doesn't push it all out at once. Our suppressed and repressed stuff only trickles out when we are sleeping. With this idea of "me" out of the way the mind begins to teach and purify itself through our dreams . We dream to release that which we resist releasing in our waking hours. Me is not in control during REM...consciousness is. Consciousness can do the teaching then. Consciousness can do some purifying and cleansing then. We can heal through our dreams if we recognizie what they are. What we think of as nightmares to be avoided are simply an expression of consciousness trying to free itself from under all the stuff we stored on top of it. Dreams can be so, so healing.
So, this dream may have little to do with the forms of persons in it but I will respond to the obvious side of that dream as well. Any of my sharing here about my health seeking challenges over the years had nothing to do with the person in question...I expressed in caveat form how I felt, for the most part, support and kindness from him in each entry (or so I thought). I hope I made that clear. If not, I am making it clear now. Rest easy...I have no intentions of bothering him or anyone else. I just want to embrace my dreams and heal.
Knowing your own darkness is the best method for knowing the darkness of other people. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The most terrifying thing is to accept onself completely. Your visions will become clear only when you can look inside your own heart. Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside awakes. Carl Jung
All is well
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