Waking Up in a Busy World: A Bottle Labelled "Hope"

The world sold me a sticky syrup...

snake oil...

in a bottle labelled "hope".

I was assured by crooked smiles,

this magic elixer would

help all humans cope.

It could make all moments

bothering us

simply disappear;

it could numb and put an end to pain,

taking away all fear.

So, I took it in my shaky hand

and opened up the cap.

I lifted the bottle to my mouth

as the world around me clapped.

I swallowed down the sweetened water,

leaving not a drop.

It burned my throat, caught in my chest

and made my breathing stop.

Dizzy with the effect of it, my being

began to spin

and I was pulled so quickly

from the present moment

I was in.

I was carried to another

more pleasant time

that existed up ahead,

a wonderful place of joy and bliss

where all fantasies got fed.

I left the pain I knew back in the moment,

the one I left behind

and in this new time Life was matching my desire,

and was being so very kind.

I could have staid in this new place forever

but the high soon wore away

and once sober, I was pulled back into reality ,

back to the present day.

Here, I found myself facing

the world of twisted smiles

with an empty bottle in my hand.

The pain and fear fell on my shoulders

making me heavy once again.

Voice trembling with the effort,

I held out the empty bottle

to ask for more

of the sticky syrup, the magic elixer

I would, like most humans, come to adore.

I knew then that I was addicted to

this thing in the bottle labelled "hope"

and that if I injested it daily,

it would become nothing more than dope.

Whatever it gave me or others,

I would learn,

would never last.

The solution it offered was not real

and the high wore off too fast.

A magic elixer is not what we need

in order to get by.

What we need is reality,

to embrace what's real without the high.

A sober moment has its blessings

despite the pain and grief,

acceptance and allowance of what is

could bring us true relief.

A potion can never save us;

it cannot give us what we need.

Once we realize the beauty of this moment,

all humans could be freed.

As I have written, this human I call me is going through a time. One of the reasons life seems so challenging for 'me' right now is that I don't use the defense mechanism of hope anymore, not like I used to anyway. I kind of see hope as a snake oil sold by humans to other humans as a way to "get by". It is a defense mechanism that can quickly become a problem. I just see how it doesn't work. I mean, we project into the future to escape this moment...the only time there is...through hope. We do not live our lives...I mean really live our lives ...if we are living in some future in our heads, do we? Yet, the future never comes, right? There really is no future. And that high we get doesn't last. It wears off and we will just need something more to hope for when we come down from each hope high. It is a head game.

This moment, right here, right now regardless of what is in it is our life...is the only thing that is real. If we want to truly live we need to embrace this moment!!! Not take a mind trip to another moment. Hope is just a mind trip to another moment.

Believe me, I would love to escape some of these moments I have been having lately. I want some more light...and for some reason I am still thinking the light is up ahead and that hope will take me there even though I know in every cell of my being that is not the way it works. I miss hope! I miss the high! I remind myself:

This...right here, right now... is my moment...this...right here, right now... is my life...and it has a lot of things my mind judges as "crappy" in it...and it has a lot of things my mind judges as " beautiful" in it. This is my life. Not what hope gives me. I want to make peace with this. Sigh!

Anyway, my mind also judges this poem as yucky but I put it down anyway . Why? because it is. It came out in a moment.

All is well.