Happiness & Healing

There is no way to healing; healing is the way.
-Thich Nhat Hanh

I am back and I am back on the topic of healing by letting go. 

Letting Go of Our Crazy Idea of Happiness

My last entry on this topic a few posts back stated that in order to heal we need to let go of this idea of happiness we cling to. We tend to look for the big highs, the big thrills that we assume all the others we are following on social media are experiencing in our search for happiness.  We assume happiness is a thrill ride that external circumstances provide and one we never want to get off of.  We place a lot of comparison and a lot of should and have tos on the experience of life that is unhealthy and self defeating when we do this. We diagnose our selves as being depressed and our lives to be  broken if we do not have butterflies in our bellies all the time. We are defining happiness by an 'image' that isn't real.

It's Our Thinking That Makes Us Sick and Unhappy

It is not a lack of a Life-provided roller coaster that brings unhappiness or that makes us 'sick'.  It is our thinking. There is no doubt about it...we are all a little 'cra-cra' when it comes to our thinking.  We all need healing because we do suffer. 

We are not 'sick' however because we do not have what we assume we 'should' have, that which we erroneously believe all 'the others' have.  We are sick because of our expectations and unhealthy seeking. We suffer because of our thinking, our dependency on life being a certain way, our constant seeking for something that isn't real, our past and future focus that takes us from the only Life there is...that  is here and now. We are sick because we are lost in our thinking.

Stop and Heal

The Buddhist solution for this, offered by practitioners in places like Plum village where Thich Nhat Hanh lives and teaches,  is to stop and heal.  Hanh's advice is to simply stop whatever you are doing that leads to suffering. (Healing is possible at every moment, 2013).  So if our thinking is causing our suffering, then we  just stop thinking. Makes sense right?

But...

Okay, I will admit...that this is too big of a mission for many of us to take on, especially as we start on this healing journey.  "How on earth do we  stop thinking when we are thinking up to 60,000 thoughts a day?"

 Well I believe we do not necessarily stop thinking...we simply refocus away from the mind stuff and back into the feeling and experiencing for a few minutes here and there, starting out until we are spending most of our time experiencing with little to no thought involved. So what we need to do is get out of our heads and into our bodies, our feelings, our lives for a moment or two.  Considering that our life is this moment than doing so brings us back to Life.

True Happiness Comes in Small Doses

We also have to put away this 'Big happiness or no happiness' mentality we cling to.  Most of true and real happiness comes in small tinctures or doses at a time.  We need to learn to recognize, be there  and create the opportunities needed to experience these small happiness's ....to revel and  appreciate a sunset, a flower blooming, the smell of salt water on  the breeze, or the feel of grass or sand beneath our toes. We need to feel the chords of the music of a great symphony, wind blowing  through the poplar leaves or the sound of robins on a spring morning vibrating through us, soothing us, energizing us. ...We need to revel in the joy that comes from a smile or a hug, and the peace that comes from being in silence or solitude or being surrounded by peaceful beings be they sentient or not. Then we need to be consumed by  love and the reason for being that comes from loving someone else, from compassion and giving.  I mean Life is all about these small but bountiful  joys, that are right here, right now all around us and in us.  Too often we don't even notice these things, let alone feel or experience them, because we are so lost in our heads or because we are too busy seeking the thrill that we assume is happiness.

How Do We Do That?

Healing allows for  happiness and it can be possible at every moment. There are steps we can take to get there:

1.  Let Go of this idea of happiness you have that keeps you seeking and searching, comparing and feeling broken. 
2. Know that all the conditions needed for happiness are already around you and in you 
3. Be willing to be open to the happiness Life has in store for you
4. Commit to a practice of healing and start 'now'!
5. Catch yourself suffering. Be aware of your thinking and your suffering generated by your thinking.
6. Breathe...this is the simplest and most crucial step to our healing.  We need to breathe and become aware of that life giving breath going into our bodies and going out. Whenever you find yourself ruminating or caught up in the NST(Non-Stop Thinking)...stop and breathe three big, beautiful breaths and just be aware of that breath entering your body on the in-breath and leaving your body on the out-breath. Breathe.
7. Reconnect with your body.  When we follow our breaths we automatically become aware of our bodies again.  We spend so much of our time disconnected from these vehicles that take us here and there , that allow us to experience the wonders of the world around us because we are so stuck in our heads or lost in our 'busy work'. It is only when they become sick or break down or start screaming at us with pain that we hear them.  We need to listen to them now. Each breath takes us back to the body and it is only through the body that we can become truly aware of the treasures around us, that we can sense and feel . We need to get back into our bodies in order to 'experience' life so we do not waste all that precious energy  'thinking about it." How does your body feel right now?  Scan it briefly from head to toe...what is going on in there?
8. Walk and connect to the earth. Hanh often teaches the value of walking meditation. It is a practice that can be done whenever we are walking anywhere.  We focus on breath as we walk and we focus on the feel of our feet touching 'Mother Earth' with each step we take.  We connect to the world around us .  We connect to the moment we are in.  We connect to Life.  That connection brings peace and happiness
9. Smile. Smile when you breathe; smile when you walk.  Smile when you see someone.  Smile when you look in the mirror.  The best way to discover the healing benefits of a smile for yourself and others is to practice it and find out for yourself.
10. Sit in mindfulness or meditation.  Make it a point for so many minutes a day to simply sit still, with back erect, and be quiet for a few minutes a day.  This may be the closest thing to 'stopping' the mind you will get to and that is okay.  You don't have to stop your mind from doing what it does...you just need to stop fighting it, stop believing it, stop being consumed by it. Your Life exists beyond your thinking...find it.
11. Be here and now. The most important thing we can do to create happiness in our lives is to simply allow ourselves to be present in this moment...the only moment there is.  Be here.  Just allow the now  to be whatever it is and find the beauty in it anyway.
12. Remember It is what is is.  That in itself is beautiful and can bring tremendous healing, tremendous peace and tremendous happiness.

All is well in my world.

References

Thich Nhat Hanh (2013, March) Healing is possible at Every Moment. Plum Villageonline https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzCWBpS67jg