Foolish, selfish people are always thinking of themselves, and the result is always negative. Wise people think of others, helping them as much as they can, and the result is happiness.
-Dalai Lama
What did his holiness mean by the above quote? Let's take it apart.
Selfish people who spend all their time thinking about themselves are foolish?
Most of us are foolish to some extent until we wake up and realize, at least, who we are. When we realize who we really are we see no "little self" and just one big greater Self that we are all apart of. When we look into the baby's face, for example, (or the dogs or at nature) we feel something, right? Time stops for just a moment, we slip out of our heads and into our hearts. What we see, often without consciously realizing it, is a recognition, a reflection of who we are. Body line borders disappear if only for a second, from our mental perspective. We are no longer separated but a part of the being we are looking at. That is the truth we encounter on some level that goes way beyond thought. We are wise.
Selfishness is an act that only brings pain because it is so foreign to our true nature. It is therefore foolish to be selfish.
The result of selfishness is negative
When we close up ourselves to this connection. When we allow ego's fear control to keep us from seeing who we really are...we often become selfish and narcissistic. "It is all about me'' becomes the mantra in some form. We think we will find happiness, fulfillment, a sense of security when we do this...but atlas we never do. The results are usually negative...leading us back to "suffering" again and again. We hurt, we hurt other people and things...all in an attempt to fill up empty holes in us that do not exist. The result is negative. It really doesn't pay to look after "number one" when one doesn't realize what "One" really entails.
Wise people think of others
Compassion and service is the way of the wise. By thinking of others one transcends the limitations of "I", "me,"mine" and "my". One recognizes that there is no separation and that when we help another , we help ourselves.
The Result, of which, is happiness
To be truly happy we need to give our lives away. To know who we really are and what that Oneship entails is the mark of freedom. When we are free from selfish ways we will live in true peace and joy.
I believe that is what the Dalai Lama meant by those words above.
All is well.
Thursday, July 18, 2019
Wednesday, July 17, 2019
Love Is
Love is simply the recognition of Self in another.
-Eckhart Tolle (somewhat paraphrased)
When we love, I mean truly love, we are absent of fear and anxiety; absent of resentment and grudge; we are absent of hate.
Have you ever had a moment looking at a baby where you felt something you couldn't understand? Doesn't even have to be your baby...but by looking at a baby or by holding it, we for a second naturally transcend the stream of thinking that is filled with all the story, narration and negativity that ego keeps us in. It may only last a second or two but we feel Love because in that baby which is so open to Love...so free of ego ...we see who we truly are. We can see beneath the veil that has clouded our being for so long. It is Self we see; Self we feel. It is Love we experience. So simple!
-Eckhart Tolle (somewhat paraphrased)
When we love, I mean truly love, we are absent of fear and anxiety; absent of resentment and grudge; we are absent of hate.
Have you ever had a moment looking at a baby where you felt something you couldn't understand? Doesn't even have to be your baby...but by looking at a baby or by holding it, we for a second naturally transcend the stream of thinking that is filled with all the story, narration and negativity that ego keeps us in. It may only last a second or two but we feel Love because in that baby which is so open to Love...so free of ego ...we see who we truly are. We can see beneath the veil that has clouded our being for so long. It is Self we see; Self we feel. It is Love we experience. So simple!
Tuesday, July 16, 2019
Action out of compassion
It is not enough to be compassionate. You must act....One is to overcome the distortions and afflictions of your own mind, that is, in terms of calming and eventually dispelling anger. This is action out of compassion....
Dalai Lama
Hmm! There is a lot more to that quote. He goes on to say that the second aspect of action is to become involved in helping to change social injustices. I will get into that part another time. The first action before we pursue the global saviour role (:)) is to calm these minds of ours and dispel our anger.
We all hate a little bit
As I mentioned yesterday, we all have a tendency to 'hate' a little bit. Hate, though it sounds like such an atrocious word that most of us will deny ever feeling...is something we all experience at least a little bit from time to time. We "hate" what people do. We "hate' the weather. We "hate" the circumstances that land on our lap. We get angry, frustrated, resentful and sometimes really want to make others "pay" is some way ( usually by hoping they feel guilty) for not being or doing what we think they "should" be or do. For not "making us happy", "filling on our empty spaces, or making the world around us as safe and as comfy as we feel we need it to be. Sigh!!! That is not compassion.
It is easy to be compassionate when our heart is open and we see the suffering of a sentient being that has "never hurt us". ...but it is a little different to be compassionate when we perceive that others are hurting us.
We all hate a little bit from time to time.
A Fear Based Closing Up of Love
Hate to me is simply a closing up of love...even if it is only for a minute. We close up and retract to protect ourselves.
Hate then is a by product...or the by product of "fear". Anger, resentment, blame, defensiveness and a desire to attack all come from fear. It is fear that is actually the opposite of love not hate. Hate is simply fear in a different uniform doing its job to protect our ego's persistent illusion.
It is our collective ego mind that fills us with thoughts, ideas, beliefs that say that hate in certain forms is okay...that it is justified and "right". We believe the mind even when it makes us miserable. We cling to our "grievances"...even collect them and create them...just so ego can be right. Fear tells us to close up...don't love that or them...because that or them will hurt you. When the people we have selected and have given the mission of making us happy to, fail us...we close up to them as well. We then don't love what is in this moment because it isn't "right". Only love a select few and only love them when they are making everything "right" for you.
The special love relationship is but a shabby substitute for what makes you whole in truth, not in illusion. (ACIM:T:16:IV:8:4)
All Mixed Up and Confused
Man, we have it all mixed up and backwards, don't we? How good does that mindset make us feel? How much peace do we have when our compassion is so selective ? How do we feel and experience Life when we close up and deny who we really are. We are Love!!! That simple. We are not what ego says we are. We are Love. We are not asked to Love as much as we are asked to be who we really are.
Compassion: Loving One Person Unconditionally Right Now
So let's start with the people around us...those we have the so called "special relationships" with. Let's examine our "hate" in whatever form it tends to present itself and then begin to dismantle the illusion to find the "real" love beneath.
That real love is you and you will feel it and you will see it in others when it is from that place you operate. It is all about "you"...and you opening up to this moment and loving what it is. It is not about the others whom you believe should be a different way. They aren't! Find that unconditional truth of love in one person and then you begin to change the world!
This is what Byron Katie tells a Mom who was struggling to deal with her son's behaviour and the hateful misery it caused her, as she finally catches on to the beauty of unconditional love and true compassion. :
You just found a wonderful truth within you. This truth brings you freedom....That means that he doesn't owe you a thing. You are not doing it [loving] for him. Now you understand you are doing it for yourself. with this awareness you serve your children[your partner, co workers, friends...the world]knowing that you are there because you want to be there, serving them and teaching them by the way you live. You do it simply because you love them, and because you like yourself when you do that. It is not about them. This is unconditional love, even though it's a totally selfish act. It's truth owning itself. Once this is experienced, self-love becomes so greedy that there's no limit to the people it can serve. That's why to love one person unconditionally is to love all people. (Katie: page 61)
Hmmm! Something to think about.
All is well.
ACIM
Byron Katie (2002) Loving What Is. New York: Three River Press.
Dalai Lama
Hmm! There is a lot more to that quote. He goes on to say that the second aspect of action is to become involved in helping to change social injustices. I will get into that part another time. The first action before we pursue the global saviour role (:)) is to calm these minds of ours and dispel our anger.
We all hate a little bit
As I mentioned yesterday, we all have a tendency to 'hate' a little bit. Hate, though it sounds like such an atrocious word that most of us will deny ever feeling...is something we all experience at least a little bit from time to time. We "hate" what people do. We "hate' the weather. We "hate" the circumstances that land on our lap. We get angry, frustrated, resentful and sometimes really want to make others "pay" is some way ( usually by hoping they feel guilty) for not being or doing what we think they "should" be or do. For not "making us happy", "filling on our empty spaces, or making the world around us as safe and as comfy as we feel we need it to be. Sigh!!! That is not compassion.
It is easy to be compassionate when our heart is open and we see the suffering of a sentient being that has "never hurt us". ...but it is a little different to be compassionate when we perceive that others are hurting us.
We all hate a little bit from time to time.
A Fear Based Closing Up of Love
Hate to me is simply a closing up of love...even if it is only for a minute. We close up and retract to protect ourselves.
Hate then is a by product...or the by product of "fear". Anger, resentment, blame, defensiveness and a desire to attack all come from fear. It is fear that is actually the opposite of love not hate. Hate is simply fear in a different uniform doing its job to protect our ego's persistent illusion.
It is our collective ego mind that fills us with thoughts, ideas, beliefs that say that hate in certain forms is okay...that it is justified and "right". We believe the mind even when it makes us miserable. We cling to our "grievances"...even collect them and create them...just so ego can be right. Fear tells us to close up...don't love that or them...because that or them will hurt you. When the people we have selected and have given the mission of making us happy to, fail us...we close up to them as well. We then don't love what is in this moment because it isn't "right". Only love a select few and only love them when they are making everything "right" for you.
The special love relationship is but a shabby substitute for what makes you whole in truth, not in illusion. (ACIM:T:16:IV:8:4)
All Mixed Up and Confused
Man, we have it all mixed up and backwards, don't we? How good does that mindset make us feel? How much peace do we have when our compassion is so selective ? How do we feel and experience Life when we close up and deny who we really are. We are Love!!! That simple. We are not what ego says we are. We are Love. We are not asked to Love as much as we are asked to be who we really are.
Compassion: Loving One Person Unconditionally Right Now
So let's start with the people around us...those we have the so called "special relationships" with. Let's examine our "hate" in whatever form it tends to present itself and then begin to dismantle the illusion to find the "real" love beneath.
That real love is you and you will feel it and you will see it in others when it is from that place you operate. It is all about "you"...and you opening up to this moment and loving what it is. It is not about the others whom you believe should be a different way. They aren't! Find that unconditional truth of love in one person and then you begin to change the world!
This is what Byron Katie tells a Mom who was struggling to deal with her son's behaviour and the hateful misery it caused her, as she finally catches on to the beauty of unconditional love and true compassion. :
You just found a wonderful truth within you. This truth brings you freedom....That means that he doesn't owe you a thing. You are not doing it [loving] for him. Now you understand you are doing it for yourself. with this awareness you serve your children[your partner, co workers, friends...the world]knowing that you are there because you want to be there, serving them and teaching them by the way you live. You do it simply because you love them, and because you like yourself when you do that. It is not about them. This is unconditional love, even though it's a totally selfish act. It's truth owning itself. Once this is experienced, self-love becomes so greedy that there's no limit to the people it can serve. That's why to love one person unconditionally is to love all people. (Katie: page 61)
Hmmm! Something to think about.
All is well.
ACIM
Byron Katie (2002) Loving What Is. New York: Three River Press.
Monday, July 15, 2019
Looking at "hate"
Be not afraid to look upon the special hate relationship, for freedom lies in looking at it.
ACIM-T: 16:IV:1:1
WTF(front door) are you talking about? Isn't this suppose to be a peace seeking blog and here you are encouraging us to look at hate??? What is wrong with you woman?
On the outside...there is a lot wrong with me lol but we are not here to discuss that...that would take a novel or two. Let's talk a bit about the special relationship instead.
I am reading Byron Katie again and revisiting some of her exercises that she calls The work...that which attempts to bring us back to "Truth". I don't really have to answer all the questions she encourages the reader to answer when one is feeling a bit "hateful" towards another to get to the bottom line but I do it anyway. After spending a few moments on it this morning, as I question the resentment I feel towards a loved one...I open to this page literally. Go figure.
You too may be feeling annoyed with someone you love. They may not be meeting your expectations and either passively or aggressively (or passive-aggressively :)) you are shoulding them to death...right? "He should know how I feel!" "She should be more considerate!" "You shoud not do those things, would not do those things if you truly loved me!" etc etc etc. If not dealt with, the resentment can turn into a type of hate and your special love relationship begins to show it's other side which was a part of it all along.
You can not limit hate. The special love relationship will not offset it, but will merely drive it underground and out of sight. It is essential to bring it into sight, and to make no attempt to hide it. For it is the attempt to balance hate with love that makes love meaningless to you. ACIM:T:16:IV:1:5-9
Yes... "hate" is a strong word but if we are going to use the term "love" in our specially selected relationships with certain individuals at the exclusion of others...eventually we will have to use the word "hate" too. This idea of "love" is an illusion. It is not based on "true love" which is unconditional love for what is.
If, in my relationships, I love when the person offers me what I feel is necessary to make me happy and I withdraw that love when they no longer give it to me, and maybe even attempt to punish them in some way for not giving me what I feel they "should" ...then that is really a special hate relationship. ...isn't it?
Katie tells people to gather up their resentments and write them down. She, in a sense, encourages people to explore their "hate". She then gets them, in a step by step process, to see the truth beneath that hate, that anger, disappointment and resentment...to see the love that is not based on how a person acts or what they are. In a way, she takes people beyond the illusion of love to the truth of it, by exploring what we hate.
Real love is not an illusion meant to cover up hate. Hate is the illusion! And sometimes we believe in that hate and create a version of love ( that is not real) to balance that hate. When our illusion of love falls through we tend to blame, punish, make guilty the people we have given that illusion to. In other words...we expect people we have special relationships with to take away all our negative and hateful feelings...to make us "happy"...We believe they "should". When they are less than successful at doing so we judge, we resent, we get angry, we seek to punish in one form or another. We close up and withdraw our love, if only temporarily . Is that not hate?
So in The work...which is just one way of doing this...we get beyond illusion to truth, beyond hate to love. Katie asks, " Is it true? Can you absolutely know for certain that it is?" These are questions we can all ask ourselves when we find ourselves slipping into any form of hate and resentment over others.
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. It is not necessary to seek for what is true, but it is necessary to seek for what is false. ACIM:T:16:IV:6:1-2
All is well in my world.
ACIM
Byron Katie (2002) Loving What Is. New York: Three Rivers Press
ACIM-T: 16:IV:1:1
WTF(front door) are you talking about? Isn't this suppose to be a peace seeking blog and here you are encouraging us to look at hate??? What is wrong with you woman?
On the outside...there is a lot wrong with me lol but we are not here to discuss that...that would take a novel or two. Let's talk a bit about the special relationship instead.
I am reading Byron Katie again and revisiting some of her exercises that she calls The work...that which attempts to bring us back to "Truth". I don't really have to answer all the questions she encourages the reader to answer when one is feeling a bit "hateful" towards another to get to the bottom line but I do it anyway. After spending a few moments on it this morning, as I question the resentment I feel towards a loved one...I open to this page literally. Go figure.
You too may be feeling annoyed with someone you love. They may not be meeting your expectations and either passively or aggressively (or passive-aggressively :)) you are shoulding them to death...right? "He should know how I feel!" "She should be more considerate!" "You shoud not do those things, would not do those things if you truly loved me!" etc etc etc. If not dealt with, the resentment can turn into a type of hate and your special love relationship begins to show it's other side which was a part of it all along.
You can not limit hate. The special love relationship will not offset it, but will merely drive it underground and out of sight. It is essential to bring it into sight, and to make no attempt to hide it. For it is the attempt to balance hate with love that makes love meaningless to you. ACIM:T:16:IV:1:5-9
Yes... "hate" is a strong word but if we are going to use the term "love" in our specially selected relationships with certain individuals at the exclusion of others...eventually we will have to use the word "hate" too. This idea of "love" is an illusion. It is not based on "true love" which is unconditional love for what is.
If, in my relationships, I love when the person offers me what I feel is necessary to make me happy and I withdraw that love when they no longer give it to me, and maybe even attempt to punish them in some way for not giving me what I feel they "should" ...then that is really a special hate relationship. ...isn't it?
Katie tells people to gather up their resentments and write them down. She, in a sense, encourages people to explore their "hate". She then gets them, in a step by step process, to see the truth beneath that hate, that anger, disappointment and resentment...to see the love that is not based on how a person acts or what they are. In a way, she takes people beyond the illusion of love to the truth of it, by exploring what we hate.
Real love is not an illusion meant to cover up hate. Hate is the illusion! And sometimes we believe in that hate and create a version of love ( that is not real) to balance that hate. When our illusion of love falls through we tend to blame, punish, make guilty the people we have given that illusion to. In other words...we expect people we have special relationships with to take away all our negative and hateful feelings...to make us "happy"...We believe they "should". When they are less than successful at doing so we judge, we resent, we get angry, we seek to punish in one form or another. We close up and withdraw our love, if only temporarily . Is that not hate?
So in The work...which is just one way of doing this...we get beyond illusion to truth, beyond hate to love. Katie asks, " Is it true? Can you absolutely know for certain that it is?" These are questions we can all ask ourselves when we find ourselves slipping into any form of hate and resentment over others.
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. It is not necessary to seek for what is true, but it is necessary to seek for what is false. ACIM:T:16:IV:6:1-2
All is well in my world.
ACIM
Byron Katie (2002) Loving What Is. New York: Three Rivers Press
Let what you are teach you.
You have taught what you are, but have not let what you are teach you.
ACIM-T-16:III:4:2
We all teach right? Whether we are meaning to or not...we all teach. We may even teach well through our example of living but are we learning from it?
I come here to teach what I am learning so I can learn it, so I can live it fully. Am I learning enough? Am I finding comfort in my own teaching?
As long as I do not allow ego to guide me through this process and make my "teaching success" be based on stats and reader numbers...I am both learning and teaching in the way that suits Self best. I come here to do that. I then try to live my life in this way.
I don't know how many others out there are getting anything from my being here. I do hope some are...but ...it is not my priority...as I said a many times before, my motivation for being here is Self-ish.
For what you taught is true. Alone, you stand outside your teaching and apart from it. But with them [the witnesses to your teaching] you must learn that you but taught yourself, and learned from the convictions you shared with them. ACIM:T:16:III:6:6-8
This chapter speaks to the fact that there is no separation of selves...and through teaching we create a bridge between one another. We cross this bridge and go to the One Self with teaching and learning which are really one and the same.
We just need to teach who we are and allow It to teach us.
All is well in my world
ACIM-T-16:III:4:2
We all teach right? Whether we are meaning to or not...we all teach. We may even teach well through our example of living but are we learning from it?
I come here to teach what I am learning so I can learn it, so I can live it fully. Am I learning enough? Am I finding comfort in my own teaching?
As long as I do not allow ego to guide me through this process and make my "teaching success" be based on stats and reader numbers...I am both learning and teaching in the way that suits Self best. I come here to do that. I then try to live my life in this way.
I don't know how many others out there are getting anything from my being here. I do hope some are...but ...it is not my priority...as I said a many times before, my motivation for being here is Self-ish.
For what you taught is true. Alone, you stand outside your teaching and apart from it. But with them [the witnesses to your teaching] you must learn that you but taught yourself, and learned from the convictions you shared with them. ACIM:T:16:III:6:6-8
This chapter speaks to the fact that there is no separation of selves...and through teaching we create a bridge between one another. We cross this bridge and go to the One Self with teaching and learning which are really one and the same.
We just need to teach who we are and allow It to teach us.
All is well in my world
Sunday, July 14, 2019
Disturbed by what happens?
We are disturbed not by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens.
-Epictetus
Having some challenging circumstances over the last couple of days...weeks...months lol. As a result, I found myself unable to do anything yesterday....I crashed and this am I slept in until noon. Not like me at all but my body and mind are a bit on the tired side.
The loss of my dog was a big thing for me. Many would say, "It was just a dog! Get over it!". Anyone who says that has not yet had the blessing of the type of bond I had with my old girl. I hope some day they do experience it because it is worth all the grief and pain that comes after the physical bond is disconnected. I am so, so grateful for her presence in my life.
My grieving now is very, very manageable. It was the "long good bye" that really caught me off guard. I am more of an anticipatory griever. I always, always hated saying good bye and having to be the one that made the decision that a goodbye was called for left me reeling. I also believe that pet grief is safe grief....'healing' grief...it allows us to open up and when we do, not only does the grief of the present loss come through, it also allows other losses and hurts that we have stuffed inside to become released. And man...I have a lot stuffed inside. :) I am very grateful, then, for the grief...as weird as that probably sounds.
Once I do let go of something I loved or was attached to ...which I have been blessed with the ability to do with my girl...I move on. And I am moving on taking her sweet essence with me in some way. Our bond now is different but it is still there.
I am also dealing with a sibling crisis and had to respond to an emergency situation Friday night that also left me reeling. I came this close to having to perform CPR on my sister and though I have the remarkable ability now to stay calm in such emergency situations ( presence indeed steps in for me)...I feel exhausted afterward. My body just becomes exhausted. There are so many secret variables to that situation that I sometimes resent having to deal with it. I have a need for honesty and I can't get caught up in drama, delusion or story without it draining me farther. So this near death experience coupled with a "Let's pretend" left me completely, completely drained.
Man....It really has been a very trying six months for this little version of 'me' and it doesn't really look like it is going to get easier any time soon. :)
For that reason I am so grateful for my new way of seeing things. I now know that it is not circumstances but what I "think" and "feel' around them that causes suffering. I don't resist the things that come my way anymore. I am learning to do as Byron Katie teaches: Love what Is. I just love what is and I get by.
It is all good!
Saturday, July 13, 2019
Who Says?
Who Says Words With My Mouth?
All day I think about it, then at night I say it.
Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing?
I have no idea.
My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that,
and I intend to end up there.
This drunkenness began in some other tavern.
When I get back around to that place,
I'll be completely sober. Meanwhile,
I'm like a bird from another continent, sitting in this aviary.
The day is coming when I fly off,
but who is it now in my ear who hears my voice?
Who says words with my mouth?
Who looks out with my eyes? What is the soul?
I cannot stop asking.
If I could taste one sip of an answer,
I could break out of this prison for drunks.
I didn't come here of my own accord, and I can't leave that way.
Whoever brought me here will have to take me home.
This poetry, I never know what I'm going to say.
I don't plan it.
When I'm outside the saying of it,
I get very quiet and rarely speak at all.
From Essential Rumi
by Coleman Barks
I have posted that poem before way back in 17 but I am thinking of it now. Dare I say that Rumi and I are a bit kindred in spirit...not based on poetic quality but poetic circumstance and our thinking patterns. :)
It is all so good.
I have posted that poem before way back in 17 but I am thinking of it now. Dare I say that Rumi and I are a bit kindred in spirit...not based on poetic quality but poetic circumstance and our thinking patterns. :)
It is all so good.
Friday, July 12, 2019
A Sacredness in Tears
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
-Washington Irving
I have had the sacred streaming down my face for the last few days. I have been experiencing overwhelming grief.
My old dog, my shadow, my most faithful companion, my protector, and my very best friend had her physical life ended yesterday. As I have written before, I have grieved for her several times in the past when her ongoing illness seemed like it would be the end but she rallied around again and again, giving me more precious time with her and her more precious time with me.
We shared a bond I can't even explain. She came into my life when I needed something the most, shortly after my divorce when I was struggling with the loneliness of a shared custody agreement. I came into her life when her frequent returns to the shelter after several different trial owners reported they "couldn't handle her" was about to end her life much too early. I was her last chance.
In my own stressed out state, I didn't think I could handle her either and was tempted on more than one occasion to take her back. She was "wild"...so much energy I couldn't contain. She was destructive...in her high anxiety states she would tear up anything in my house including couches, window screens, precious books, and clothing. She jumped on everyone that came to the door knocking them down with her excitement to see them. She loved to run so much...if I opened the door she would run...just run for miles in whatever direction was calling her and it would take me hours to round her up and return her safely home. Though she was a very loving and friendly dog...if I or anyone touched her paws she could become quite defensive to the point of snapping. And she did not like the cats I had brought home from the shelter months before her.
I knew hours after bring her home that training her and respecting her boundaries was going to be a challenge. I didn't think I had the energy to do it while struggling with my own life adjustments.
But there was something deep within her beautiful brown eyes that told me to try. So I did.
I read everything I could on training dogs and I strapped her to my waist and spent the two months of my summer vacation training her. I spent most of that time crying in frustration but I, and the kids, also fell madly in love with her. She, I knew formed a great attachment to us, to me especially, and she took on a very protective role over all of us, even the cats. Within a year there was little need for leashes around my waist or around her neck. She followed me and staid beside me because she wanted to. She became my shadow and my family's protector. She became my very best and most loyal friend.
She was thirteen and that is a long span for a German Sheppard. Her body has been deteriorating over the last few years with severe arthritis, old dog's syndrome, renal failure and dementia. I never quite felt I had the right to take the life of another sentient being...especially if there was a certain quality to that life...but promised myself that if the suffering reached a certain point and if she gave me any signs what so ever that she was "ready" I would have the vet help me let her go.
This last week or so she stopped eating as much as she used to...she always had a ferocious appetite and loved her food. She was no longer able to go for walks, started sun downing at night, (waking up and wandering all over the house confused), and getting up into a standing position became extra challenging for her...And though she was still wagging her tail when anyone came to the door and got excited over treats and drives in the car...something told me it was time.
Well my knowing was riddled with doubt as well. It left me pondering: Do I have the right to do this? Is this what she wants? Is her suffering serving some purpose for her that I cannot understand? Though I was agonizing over this dilemma, I found myself going to the phone and I made the call anyway. I did not stop crying since.
I would like to say it was a peaceful passing but it wasn't. My children, D. and I took her for a "drive" in the SUV...with her blanket and bed. We were going to have it done in the back of the vehicle while we all held her. Even though we were outside, she knew we were at the vet's. (She always got stressed out when she went for appointments...I think it reminded her of her time at teh shelter.) They gave her the sedative but her anxiety prevented her from relaxing as much as she could. And then they had to handle her paws for the other injections...something we, her beloved family members could never even handle all the years we knew her, and she fought.... She even snapped at me because I was closest to her head. They then had to strap her to a stretcher, bring her in without us, until they got a catheter in her vein and then they brought her back out. She was tired by then...so she went fairly peacefully while we said our goodbyes.
I don't want to regret this but I just wish those last few moments, prior to the final injections, were not filled with fear and confusion. But they were and I can't change that. I hope she forgives me and does not think that I betrayed her in anyway.
But dogs don't have egos, do they? They forgive so easily. She is peaceful now, free from the painful body she was in...and I know she forgives me for this decision, be it the best one I could have made for her or not. That is just the kind of dog she was.
She forgives me like she always did and somewhere in some formless realm she is wagging her formless tail excitedly at the sound of my voice calling her name.
And I, still in this form that expressed the life she knew as me, will always feel this invisible connection we shared. And for another little while, at least, the sacred tears of unspeakable love will stream down my face. And that is okay.
It is all good. It really is.
-Washington Irving
I have had the sacred streaming down my face for the last few days. I have been experiencing overwhelming grief.
My old dog, my shadow, my most faithful companion, my protector, and my very best friend had her physical life ended yesterday. As I have written before, I have grieved for her several times in the past when her ongoing illness seemed like it would be the end but she rallied around again and again, giving me more precious time with her and her more precious time with me.
We shared a bond I can't even explain. She came into my life when I needed something the most, shortly after my divorce when I was struggling with the loneliness of a shared custody agreement. I came into her life when her frequent returns to the shelter after several different trial owners reported they "couldn't handle her" was about to end her life much too early. I was her last chance.
In my own stressed out state, I didn't think I could handle her either and was tempted on more than one occasion to take her back. She was "wild"...so much energy I couldn't contain. She was destructive...in her high anxiety states she would tear up anything in my house including couches, window screens, precious books, and clothing. She jumped on everyone that came to the door knocking them down with her excitement to see them. She loved to run so much...if I opened the door she would run...just run for miles in whatever direction was calling her and it would take me hours to round her up and return her safely home. Though she was a very loving and friendly dog...if I or anyone touched her paws she could become quite defensive to the point of snapping. And she did not like the cats I had brought home from the shelter months before her.
I knew hours after bring her home that training her and respecting her boundaries was going to be a challenge. I didn't think I had the energy to do it while struggling with my own life adjustments.
But there was something deep within her beautiful brown eyes that told me to try. So I did.
I read everything I could on training dogs and I strapped her to my waist and spent the two months of my summer vacation training her. I spent most of that time crying in frustration but I, and the kids, also fell madly in love with her. She, I knew formed a great attachment to us, to me especially, and she took on a very protective role over all of us, even the cats. Within a year there was little need for leashes around my waist or around her neck. She followed me and staid beside me because she wanted to. She became my shadow and my family's protector. She became my very best and most loyal friend.
She was thirteen and that is a long span for a German Sheppard. Her body has been deteriorating over the last few years with severe arthritis, old dog's syndrome, renal failure and dementia. I never quite felt I had the right to take the life of another sentient being...especially if there was a certain quality to that life...but promised myself that if the suffering reached a certain point and if she gave me any signs what so ever that she was "ready" I would have the vet help me let her go.
This last week or so she stopped eating as much as she used to...she always had a ferocious appetite and loved her food. She was no longer able to go for walks, started sun downing at night, (waking up and wandering all over the house confused), and getting up into a standing position became extra challenging for her...And though she was still wagging her tail when anyone came to the door and got excited over treats and drives in the car...something told me it was time.
Well my knowing was riddled with doubt as well. It left me pondering: Do I have the right to do this? Is this what she wants? Is her suffering serving some purpose for her that I cannot understand? Though I was agonizing over this dilemma, I found myself going to the phone and I made the call anyway. I did not stop crying since.
I would like to say it was a peaceful passing but it wasn't. My children, D. and I took her for a "drive" in the SUV...with her blanket and bed. We were going to have it done in the back of the vehicle while we all held her. Even though we were outside, she knew we were at the vet's. (She always got stressed out when she went for appointments...I think it reminded her of her time at teh shelter.) They gave her the sedative but her anxiety prevented her from relaxing as much as she could. And then they had to handle her paws for the other injections...something we, her beloved family members could never even handle all the years we knew her, and she fought.... She even snapped at me because I was closest to her head. They then had to strap her to a stretcher, bring her in without us, until they got a catheter in her vein and then they brought her back out. She was tired by then...so she went fairly peacefully while we said our goodbyes.
I don't want to regret this but I just wish those last few moments, prior to the final injections, were not filled with fear and confusion. But they were and I can't change that. I hope she forgives me and does not think that I betrayed her in anyway.
But dogs don't have egos, do they? They forgive so easily. She is peaceful now, free from the painful body she was in...and I know she forgives me for this decision, be it the best one I could have made for her or not. That is just the kind of dog she was.
She forgives me like she always did and somewhere in some formless realm she is wagging her formless tail excitedly at the sound of my voice calling her name.
And I, still in this form that expressed the life she knew as me, will always feel this invisible connection we shared. And for another little while, at least, the sacred tears of unspeakable love will stream down my face. And that is okay.
It is all good. It really is.
Tuesday, July 9, 2019
Monday, July 8, 2019
The First Obstacle to Peace
The first obstacle that peace must flow across is your desire to get rid of it.
ACIM:T:19:IV:A:1:1
Say what crazy lady?
I know I have been telling you that peace is what we truly want and now I am telling you that the only reason we don't have it is because we don't want it. It sounds crazy.
What I am trying to impart ( why, how and from where I don't know lol) is that peace is what we really want though it isn't what we think we want. The problem is the thinking and the mind that ego uses to draw us away from peace. Peace is within us as it always was and it 'ain't going anywhere'. Ego knows that and it doesn't want us to accept that!
It is ego that doesn't want peace. It needs drama and chaos and striving and doing to survive...Take all that away and simply find what is in you, what has always been in you...and where will ego be? As long as we identify with ego...we "edge-God-out" as Wayne Dyer would say. We push peace away. We attempt to get rid of it. Ego is actually convinced that "we can" get rid of peace as long as we keep thinking, striving, doing, grasping for "more". We may in this mad rush of insanity "forget" about the peace within, forget about "God"...but that doesn't mean It isn't there.
We actually spend most of our lives resisting and attempting to get rid of the one thing we truly want. Now that is crazy.
Once we decide to refuse to follow our monkey minds, our ego urgings and instead be willing to receive the peace that is already in us...this obstacle will become like a feather attempting to hold back the great wings of truth. (ACIM:T:19:IV:A.:9:1) Peace will flow across it, and join you without hindrance. (ACIM:T:19:IV:A.:4:6)
This ego identification really doesn't get us anywhere but down. It doesn't give us what we truly want nor does it protect us from it. We just believe it can and will. Once we put down that distorted belief and open ourselves up to willingly create a home for peace...we will find what we are truly wanting.
Would you not rather greet the summer sun than fix your gaze upon a disappearing snowflake, and shiver in remembrance of the winter's cold? ACIM:T:19:IV:A.:9:6
A life of peace is the summer sun and the winter's cold is all ego can offer us. What would you prefer?
All is well.
ACIM:T:19:IV:A:1:1
Say what crazy lady?
I know I have been telling you that peace is what we truly want and now I am telling you that the only reason we don't have it is because we don't want it. It sounds crazy.
What I am trying to impart ( why, how and from where I don't know lol) is that peace is what we really want though it isn't what we think we want. The problem is the thinking and the mind that ego uses to draw us away from peace. Peace is within us as it always was and it 'ain't going anywhere'. Ego knows that and it doesn't want us to accept that!
It is ego that doesn't want peace. It needs drama and chaos and striving and doing to survive...Take all that away and simply find what is in you, what has always been in you...and where will ego be? As long as we identify with ego...we "edge-God-out" as Wayne Dyer would say. We push peace away. We attempt to get rid of it. Ego is actually convinced that "we can" get rid of peace as long as we keep thinking, striving, doing, grasping for "more". We may in this mad rush of insanity "forget" about the peace within, forget about "God"...but that doesn't mean It isn't there.
We actually spend most of our lives resisting and attempting to get rid of the one thing we truly want. Now that is crazy.
Once we decide to refuse to follow our monkey minds, our ego urgings and instead be willing to receive the peace that is already in us...this obstacle will become like a feather attempting to hold back the great wings of truth. (ACIM:T:19:IV:A.:9:1) Peace will flow across it, and join you without hindrance. (ACIM:T:19:IV:A.:4:6)
This ego identification really doesn't get us anywhere but down. It doesn't give us what we truly want nor does it protect us from it. We just believe it can and will. Once we put down that distorted belief and open ourselves up to willingly create a home for peace...we will find what we are truly wanting.
Would you not rather greet the summer sun than fix your gaze upon a disappearing snowflake, and shiver in remembrance of the winter's cold? ACIM:T:19:IV:A.:9:6
A life of peace is the summer sun and the winter's cold is all ego can offer us. What would you prefer?
All is well.
Sunday, July 7, 2019
Asking, Seeking and Knocking: The Journey Home.
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
Matthew 7: 7 ESV
What did Jesus mean by this? What is it that we are all truly wanting? What is it that we truly want to ask for or seek? What door do we want opened?
I guarantee that He was not speaking about asking for a 100,000 dollars or seeking the entrance to a cave with material treasures hidden within it. Nor is the door that we want opened that of a garage with a new Porsche inside.
Oh we may think we want these things. We could ask for them and we could get them or find them...but these are not the things that will fulfill us. These are not the things we really want.
These are things the ego may want but I hope we understand by now...that what ego wants is not usually what spirit wants. Right? In fact the ego usually makes us miserable in the long run.
Do you realize that the ego must set you on journey which cannot but lead to a sense of futility and depression? ACIM:T:12:4:1
What we really want is inner peace whether we know that right now or not. What we want is joy. The kind of joy you feel when you walk into your home, the comfort that you missed so much after being away for a period of time. That is what we want. We know when we are "home' everything will seem easier even if things don't change on the outside. The weather, relating to others, life circumstance is so much easier to deal with when we are home. It is so much less threatening or annoying, right?
What we really want then is to go home. And you will make that journey eventually. We all will...we are all making it now. We are all asking and searching now. We are all knocking and waiting for that door of "home" to open for us. The problem is that many of us are looking "out there" instead of "in here." We are on ego's journey to futility.
You will undertake a journey because you are not at home in this world. And you will search for your home whether you realize where it is or not. If you believe it is outside you the search will be futile, for you will be seeking for it where it is not. You do not remember how to look within for you do not believe your home is there. (ACIM:T:12:IV:5:1-3)
The home we seek, the peace we want and the joy that is waiting is not out there . It is in here.
The kingdom of God will not come with observable signs. Neither will they say Lo here! or lo, there! for, behold, the Kingdom of God is within you. Luke 17: 20-21
So just be aware of what you really want and journey in that direction. Ego may resist and persist that it knows what you need but don't follow ego's guidance. Seek the inner guidance within.
For it is your mind that believes in it [the ego's direction] and gives existence to it. Yet it is also your mind that has the power to deny the ego's existence, and you will surely do so when you realize exactly what the journey is on which the ego sets you. ACIM: T:12:IV:2:5-6
All is well!
Matthew 7: 7 ESV
What did Jesus mean by this? What is it that we are all truly wanting? What is it that we truly want to ask for or seek? What door do we want opened?
I guarantee that He was not speaking about asking for a 100,000 dollars or seeking the entrance to a cave with material treasures hidden within it. Nor is the door that we want opened that of a garage with a new Porsche inside.
Oh we may think we want these things. We could ask for them and we could get them or find them...but these are not the things that will fulfill us. These are not the things we really want.
These are things the ego may want but I hope we understand by now...that what ego wants is not usually what spirit wants. Right? In fact the ego usually makes us miserable in the long run.
Do you realize that the ego must set you on journey which cannot but lead to a sense of futility and depression? ACIM:T:12:4:1
What we really want is inner peace whether we know that right now or not. What we want is joy. The kind of joy you feel when you walk into your home, the comfort that you missed so much after being away for a period of time. That is what we want. We know when we are "home' everything will seem easier even if things don't change on the outside. The weather, relating to others, life circumstance is so much easier to deal with when we are home. It is so much less threatening or annoying, right?
What we really want then is to go home. And you will make that journey eventually. We all will...we are all making it now. We are all asking and searching now. We are all knocking and waiting for that door of "home" to open for us. The problem is that many of us are looking "out there" instead of "in here." We are on ego's journey to futility.
You will undertake a journey because you are not at home in this world. And you will search for your home whether you realize where it is or not. If you believe it is outside you the search will be futile, for you will be seeking for it where it is not. You do not remember how to look within for you do not believe your home is there. (ACIM:T:12:IV:5:1-3)
The home we seek, the peace we want and the joy that is waiting is not out there . It is in here.
The kingdom of God will not come with observable signs. Neither will they say Lo here! or lo, there! for, behold, the Kingdom of God is within you. Luke 17: 20-21
So just be aware of what you really want and journey in that direction. Ego may resist and persist that it knows what you need but don't follow ego's guidance. Seek the inner guidance within.
For it is your mind that believes in it [the ego's direction] and gives existence to it. Yet it is also your mind that has the power to deny the ego's existence, and you will surely do so when you realize exactly what the journey is on which the ego sets you. ACIM: T:12:IV:2:5-6
All is well!
Saturday, July 6, 2019
Fully Engaged?
True enlightenment means that you are in the continual presence of great compassion; therefore you will not remain in solitary peace but will always be fully engaged in the welfare of others.
Dalai Lama
Hmm! I still have to open my eyes a bit wider and stretch out the sleepiness a bit more, I guess. I am not truly awake/enlightened and recognize and accept that I may never be in this lifetime. It certainly is, however, something wonderful to strive ( oops not the best word when speaking about this process lol)...to look towards.
When my ego world started to crumble around me...partly by circumstances beyond my control and partly by my own choice...I retreated away from society to some extent. I went off Facebook and all other forms of social media. I made it fairly hard to get "a hold of me". I no longer have a house phone and seldom have my cell with me. I hardly go out or have company over. I do not "do" many of the things I used to. I avoid crowds with a vengeance...I just don't enjoy being surrounded by large numbers of people. I much prefer the company of animals. I guess I have found a certain "comfort" and "contentment" in semi-solitude.
Can I remain in "solitary peace?"
No...that is not what most of us are here for.
Compassion is one of the reasons why we are here, I believe. To serve, to be fully engaged in the welfare of others.
Am I still engaged enough?
That is a question that I ponder. I have very little idea what is going on "out there". I am really not following the political scene. Whn I meet with siblings , they fill me in( not at my request lol) because they are intelligent and socially aware. I am sure they believe I have gone brain dead lol. I don't watch the news. I do not know what my "social community" is doing...what is up in the lives of friends...because I don't do social media. So am I engaged? If an old friend lost a loved one or was going through a hard time...I wouldn't know? I wouldn't be able to offer My physical support. They, I am sure, would see me as selfish and uncaring.
I think warm thoughts and wish all the people I know and the people I don't know well and pray and hope they are doing well...does that count?
How do I serve?
I know eventually I have to go "back out there".
I know I have to serve at a greater level than I am serving. I don't yet know how or what it is I can do...but I do know that. I need to be more engaged in the welfare of others in a way that I am being called. I think it is with words, with teaching but I don't know for sure...that could be my ego telling me that. What I do know is that it will involve compassion for all the others ( which are really not others) around me...be they sentient or non sentient. I know that much. Maybe my calling will be to simply sell Popsicles on a street corner lol or maybe it will be to leave the world with a great message. I don't know.
If I am fully engaged in the welfare of others, however, I will know I an fully awake and giving the world the compassion I am here ( we are all here) to give.
All is well!
Dalai Lama
Hmm! I still have to open my eyes a bit wider and stretch out the sleepiness a bit more, I guess. I am not truly awake/enlightened and recognize and accept that I may never be in this lifetime. It certainly is, however, something wonderful to strive ( oops not the best word when speaking about this process lol)...to look towards.
When my ego world started to crumble around me...partly by circumstances beyond my control and partly by my own choice...I retreated away from society to some extent. I went off Facebook and all other forms of social media. I made it fairly hard to get "a hold of me". I no longer have a house phone and seldom have my cell with me. I hardly go out or have company over. I do not "do" many of the things I used to. I avoid crowds with a vengeance...I just don't enjoy being surrounded by large numbers of people. I much prefer the company of animals. I guess I have found a certain "comfort" and "contentment" in semi-solitude.
Can I remain in "solitary peace?"
No...that is not what most of us are here for.
Compassion is one of the reasons why we are here, I believe. To serve, to be fully engaged in the welfare of others.
Am I still engaged enough?
That is a question that I ponder. I have very little idea what is going on "out there". I am really not following the political scene. Whn I meet with siblings , they fill me in( not at my request lol) because they are intelligent and socially aware. I am sure they believe I have gone brain dead lol. I don't watch the news. I do not know what my "social community" is doing...what is up in the lives of friends...because I don't do social media. So am I engaged? If an old friend lost a loved one or was going through a hard time...I wouldn't know? I wouldn't be able to offer My physical support. They, I am sure, would see me as selfish and uncaring.
I think warm thoughts and wish all the people I know and the people I don't know well and pray and hope they are doing well...does that count?
How do I serve?
I know eventually I have to go "back out there".
I know I have to serve at a greater level than I am serving. I don't yet know how or what it is I can do...but I do know that. I need to be more engaged in the welfare of others in a way that I am being called. I think it is with words, with teaching but I don't know for sure...that could be my ego telling me that. What I do know is that it will involve compassion for all the others ( which are really not others) around me...be they sentient or non sentient. I know that much. Maybe my calling will be to simply sell Popsicles on a street corner lol or maybe it will be to leave the world with a great message. I don't know.
If I am fully engaged in the welfare of others, however, I will know I an fully awake and giving the world the compassion I am here ( we are all here) to give.
All is well!
Wednesday, July 3, 2019
Notice Silence!
Inner stillness is consciousness without thought....that becomes the foundation for your home...what you are rooted in...the background to everything that happens. (Eckhart Tolle...maybe not exactly word for word)
Most of us are mentally lost in the dimension of "what happens". This being lost is a considered a normal state. We are lost because all we can see is what is going on around us...what events, people, circumstances are coming in to our lives or we are complaining about what is not happening that should be happening.. We see nothing else. That becomes our "life".
Eckhart Tolle in Talk to Your Thoughts, reminds us that there is a dimension beneath this one we are lost in and when we become conscious of that dimension we are free. This dimension is the dimension of silence.
That conscious awareness begins with "noticing." Notice your thoughts and notice the words you speak to others and yourself. Notice when your mind starts to get noisy, just as you would notice external noise.
Just by noticing we are becoming present. We notice noise in the foreground and then we notice the silence in the background. We notice there is a space between thoughts and beneath thoughts...that is where we want to be.
We are present when we slip into the gap between thoughts if only for an instant. By noticing our mental noise we are starting to dip into awareness. then when we notice the silence between the thoughts or words we are in the gap where there is no thought. Thought can not notice the absence of itself because it is noise. You can't notice silence when you are thinking. For that moment, at least (of noticing silence) , you are present.
Noticing that there is silence between the words and underneath the words is a clear sign that presence is arising. Eckhart Tolle
You can notice what your mind is doing because no matter how unconscious you may be, you still have access to a deeper part of you that is awareness. It is this awareness that notices presence.
We do not need to be lost in thought no matter how urgent our mind tells us those thoughts are. We can become aware of those sweet moments where there is no thought.
Even if we are carrying around a heavy story of trauma like many of us are...we do not have to get lost in that mental story. Whatever happened to us...was something that just happened. It is not us. We are the awareness that notices how we are using story to build a stronger "me". We are not, nor do we need the story or a stronger me. What we need is awareness of the still, silent presence that is us. We find that whenever we notice silence.
So keep noticing.
All is well
Eckhart Tolle(2017 )Talk to Your Thoughts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yrRHaE_7d4
Most of us are mentally lost in the dimension of "what happens". This being lost is a considered a normal state. We are lost because all we can see is what is going on around us...what events, people, circumstances are coming in to our lives or we are complaining about what is not happening that should be happening.. We see nothing else. That becomes our "life".
Eckhart Tolle in Talk to Your Thoughts, reminds us that there is a dimension beneath this one we are lost in and when we become conscious of that dimension we are free. This dimension is the dimension of silence.
That conscious awareness begins with "noticing." Notice your thoughts and notice the words you speak to others and yourself. Notice when your mind starts to get noisy, just as you would notice external noise.
Just by noticing we are becoming present. We notice noise in the foreground and then we notice the silence in the background. We notice there is a space between thoughts and beneath thoughts...that is where we want to be.
We are present when we slip into the gap between thoughts if only for an instant. By noticing our mental noise we are starting to dip into awareness. then when we notice the silence between the thoughts or words we are in the gap where there is no thought. Thought can not notice the absence of itself because it is noise. You can't notice silence when you are thinking. For that moment, at least (of noticing silence) , you are present.
Noticing that there is silence between the words and underneath the words is a clear sign that presence is arising. Eckhart Tolle
You can notice what your mind is doing because no matter how unconscious you may be, you still have access to a deeper part of you that is awareness. It is this awareness that notices presence.
We do not need to be lost in thought no matter how urgent our mind tells us those thoughts are. We can become aware of those sweet moments where there is no thought.
Even if we are carrying around a heavy story of trauma like many of us are...we do not have to get lost in that mental story. Whatever happened to us...was something that just happened. It is not us. We are the awareness that notices how we are using story to build a stronger "me". We are not, nor do we need the story or a stronger me. What we need is awareness of the still, silent presence that is us. We find that whenever we notice silence.
So keep noticing.
All is well
Eckhart Tolle(2017 )Talk to Your Thoughts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yrRHaE_7d4
Tuesday, July 2, 2019
A Better Way
Eventually everyone begins to recognize, however dimly, that there must be a better way (ACIM:2:III:3:6)
Living in a State of Unease
The "surface I" lives in a state of frequent or permanent unease...never completely satisfied...(Eckhart Tolle)
The ego, that part of us that most of us identify with and that is considered to be the "normal" part of us, lives in a state of constant unease. It is constantly wanting more than what it has because it survives on a state of "not enough", neediness, craving and discomfort. It turns to the outside world around us to fill itself up and begins to grab, strive, do and cling in order to end the unease and suffering.
What it does, however, is only create more pain. All things the ego creates will eventually decay, die, fade away, get lost or be taken and we will suffer again and again. As long as we are looking for the outside world of form to end our suffering and make us happy...the more suffering we will endure.
There is a better way.
Eventually all of us will realize that we do not need to live in this constant state of suffering derived from mental striving. We will realize, (for many of us not until the moment of our death), there is a better way.
What is this better way?
The better way is to stop long enough to ask ourselves what is it we truly want. We need to turn our vision gently away from the busy external world and place it on the deeper "I" that resides within. We need to seek more silence, more stillness to find this Self and to question if the way we have been conditioned to see things is really the only way to see them.
The many masters who have transcended to this level, tell us that in that quiet space , when the mind is still, we will find the truth. We will see that all our doing, striving, clinging was for nought. What we really need to be happy and peaceful is already in us. We are already "It". All these things we fought for will lose their importance and we will see and understand what is really important. It is not what the "ego" wants, it is what the spirit within us wants.
Whether you agree with this or not, do you not think it is at least worth a try? When your suffering gets big enough...you may be willing to find another way...and this "Soul Seeking" may be it. It just may prove to be the better way. I know it is for me.
All is well
Living in a State of Unease
The "surface I" lives in a state of frequent or permanent unease...never completely satisfied...(Eckhart Tolle)
The ego, that part of us that most of us identify with and that is considered to be the "normal" part of us, lives in a state of constant unease. It is constantly wanting more than what it has because it survives on a state of "not enough", neediness, craving and discomfort. It turns to the outside world around us to fill itself up and begins to grab, strive, do and cling in order to end the unease and suffering.
What it does, however, is only create more pain. All things the ego creates will eventually decay, die, fade away, get lost or be taken and we will suffer again and again. As long as we are looking for the outside world of form to end our suffering and make us happy...the more suffering we will endure.
There is a better way.
Eventually all of us will realize that we do not need to live in this constant state of suffering derived from mental striving. We will realize, (for many of us not until the moment of our death), there is a better way.
What is this better way?
The better way is to stop long enough to ask ourselves what is it we truly want. We need to turn our vision gently away from the busy external world and place it on the deeper "I" that resides within. We need to seek more silence, more stillness to find this Self and to question if the way we have been conditioned to see things is really the only way to see them.
The many masters who have transcended to this level, tell us that in that quiet space , when the mind is still, we will find the truth. We will see that all our doing, striving, clinging was for nought. What we really need to be happy and peaceful is already in us. We are already "It". All these things we fought for will lose their importance and we will see and understand what is really important. It is not what the "ego" wants, it is what the spirit within us wants.
Whether you agree with this or not, do you not think it is at least worth a try? When your suffering gets big enough...you may be willing to find another way...and this "Soul Seeking" may be it. It just may prove to be the better way. I know it is for me.
All is well
Monday, July 1, 2019
A Means to an End?
One of the most prevalent patterns [of the mind] is reducing the present moment to a means to an end.
-Eckhart Tolle
Normal
It is 'normal' for most of us, isn't it, to treat this moment like it is something we just have to get through or out of the way so we can get to the next moment? We assume the next moment will be better than this one? This way of dealing with "time" is so inherent in most of, so ingrained in the subconscious mind that we are often not even aware that we are doing it. It is 'normal'. I love Eckhart Tolle's take on this: My definition of normal is insane.
Time
We do not just treat moments like this but whole chunks of so called time. We are always just getting through the time in front of us to get to something better. We are "waiting" for life to be something worth living. We spend our workdays counting down to the weekend, don't we? We spend our childhoods waiting to "grow up". We spend our adult years waiting to find the perfect person and the perfect job to make us whole and complete. Once we get the perfect job...we wait for retirement. Once we find the special someone we wait until they change to become everything we want them to be to make us happy. The moment we are in, the time frame we are in is often just used as a stepping stone to the next moment. We can't wait to get through it and be done with it.
Present or Future?
What then are we doing in that moment or that chunk of time while we wait? We are enduring, projecting, dreaming and anticipating or hoping for something better. We are not "there" in the present. We are in our heads and lost in some mental projection we call the future.
The future never comes people! When the next moment comes...it is "this moment". There is no arriving. You can hop and skip over every stepping stone you find yourself on but that momentum isn't taking you anywhere but away from the present moment...away from living the only life you got!
Getting Ready For Something Better
So you are getting ready to go out on a date with someone you think might "be the one". You have to shower, fix your hair, shave, do your makeup ( or maybe both)...what is the quality of your doing? Are you paying loving attention to the water coming down over you as you shower? Are you aware of the scent of the shampoo and the softness of the soap lather against your skin? Or are you totally unconscious of anything other than that you are all twisted up inside thinking about how you hope the person likes you and that you get along or that it isn't going to be too uncomfortable? Maybe your mind is taking you to a church and you see yourself walking down the aisle. Maybe you see yourself with his/her children in your arms. Or maybe you see him or her rejecting you when they figure out how "defective and unworthy" you are.
Chances are you don't even notice the water, the smell, the feel of anything as you shower...because you are not "there." You are somewhere in a time that doesn't exist. This moment you are in is just a means to get you out the door and into your car. Driving the car is just a means to get you to the date. The date is just a means to get you into a special relationship...and getting committed to this person is just a means to get you to place where you can be happy and secure.
Life is in this moment right here, right now
Hmmm! What about this moment right now? Right here and right now? How much loving attention are you giving it? This right here now is the only Life you have. That up there is something you will never "arrive at" because it doesn't exist anywhere but in your head. Do you get that yet?
By all means have dreams and make plans as to how to get yourself there but don't ignore the Life that is happening right here and right now. Pay special loving attention to everything you do. Notice it all. Appreciate it all and start living now.
Life, after all, is what happens when you are busy making other plans.
All is well
Eckhart Tolle (June 2019 ) The Ultimate source of Wisdom and Balance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ptJ8UCbDGQ
-Eckhart Tolle
Normal
It is 'normal' for most of us, isn't it, to treat this moment like it is something we just have to get through or out of the way so we can get to the next moment? We assume the next moment will be better than this one? This way of dealing with "time" is so inherent in most of, so ingrained in the subconscious mind that we are often not even aware that we are doing it. It is 'normal'. I love Eckhart Tolle's take on this: My definition of normal is insane.
Time
We do not just treat moments like this but whole chunks of so called time. We are always just getting through the time in front of us to get to something better. We are "waiting" for life to be something worth living. We spend our workdays counting down to the weekend, don't we? We spend our childhoods waiting to "grow up". We spend our adult years waiting to find the perfect person and the perfect job to make us whole and complete. Once we get the perfect job...we wait for retirement. Once we find the special someone we wait until they change to become everything we want them to be to make us happy. The moment we are in, the time frame we are in is often just used as a stepping stone to the next moment. We can't wait to get through it and be done with it.
Present or Future?
What then are we doing in that moment or that chunk of time while we wait? We are enduring, projecting, dreaming and anticipating or hoping for something better. We are not "there" in the present. We are in our heads and lost in some mental projection we call the future.
The future never comes people! When the next moment comes...it is "this moment". There is no arriving. You can hop and skip over every stepping stone you find yourself on but that momentum isn't taking you anywhere but away from the present moment...away from living the only life you got!
Getting Ready For Something Better
So you are getting ready to go out on a date with someone you think might "be the one". You have to shower, fix your hair, shave, do your makeup ( or maybe both)...what is the quality of your doing? Are you paying loving attention to the water coming down over you as you shower? Are you aware of the scent of the shampoo and the softness of the soap lather against your skin? Or are you totally unconscious of anything other than that you are all twisted up inside thinking about how you hope the person likes you and that you get along or that it isn't going to be too uncomfortable? Maybe your mind is taking you to a church and you see yourself walking down the aisle. Maybe you see yourself with his/her children in your arms. Or maybe you see him or her rejecting you when they figure out how "defective and unworthy" you are.
Chances are you don't even notice the water, the smell, the feel of anything as you shower...because you are not "there." You are somewhere in a time that doesn't exist. This moment you are in is just a means to get you out the door and into your car. Driving the car is just a means to get you to the date. The date is just a means to get you into a special relationship...and getting committed to this person is just a means to get you to place where you can be happy and secure.
Life is in this moment right here, right now
Hmmm! What about this moment right now? Right here and right now? How much loving attention are you giving it? This right here now is the only Life you have. That up there is something you will never "arrive at" because it doesn't exist anywhere but in your head. Do you get that yet?
By all means have dreams and make plans as to how to get yourself there but don't ignore the Life that is happening right here and right now. Pay special loving attention to everything you do. Notice it all. Appreciate it all and start living now.
Life, after all, is what happens when you are busy making other plans.
All is well
Eckhart Tolle (June 2019 ) The Ultimate source of Wisdom and Balance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ptJ8UCbDGQ
Sunday, June 30, 2019
Esteem: A step toward "self image" actualization?
Go towards Self actualization rather than self-image actualization...Search within...for honest self expression.
-Bruce Lee
I love what Abraham Maslow has done in the field of psychology and social science. I have studied his pyramid in depth and agree with how many of those rungs he describes can lead us to Self-actualization. Well, all accept one. I question Esteem and wonder if it will simply lead us to ego's version of "little me" actualization rather than truth. Hmm!
Esteem
We all want to be recognized and valued by other human beings but are we being conditioned to value the ego in ourselves and others more so than the actual Self? Are we striving toward true self actualization or self-image actualization?
Being successful doing?
What types of things bring on this type of esteem that precedes actualization on Maslow's climb to the top of the pyramid? Being successful? What, then, does it mean to be successful to the ego in today's western culture? Most of us would say it involves having a "good, respectable job"...one that will allow for economic and social status growth, right? One that others will be envious of? One that will make us "appear" a certain way in the eyes and minds of others? One that will allow us to attain a certain wealth and to buy and own a lot of cool "stuff"? So to attain and maintain esteem, we need a "good" job that promotes all the things the ego loves? What we "do" is all important to the ego's version of esteem.
What about being?
What about "being"...where is that mentioned? What about that presence and awareness that doesn't require striving and fighting. What about the living that exists in us here and now? Where is that mentioned?
Being Recognized and Validated
Some would also say success requires being liked, loved, or adored by others. Recognition is an important part of esteem. Do we need, then, to have a reputation built on pleasing others...to maintain an image of being important, "normal", "worthy", productive ? Many would say that is what we need in order to maintain "esteem"-an image.
We have to blend into the norms of our modern culture and stand out only when we can exemplify them. That is success...in this version of esteem. We will be esteemed, we will feel esteem when we are "like others" so we can be "liked by others".
Image or Authenticity?
We are in a sense dependent on external validation...that which is obtained from the "outside". So what ever is considered "normal" in the outside world is what we must adhere to regardless if it makes sense or not to our authentic selves ...to achieve successful esteem? So where does authenticity come in to play? What about what we really want and see as important...or even what makes sense to us. Do we ignore that to fit in?
Being in special relationships
And we are told we need to have healthy "special" relationships to reach esteem. The rung that precedes Esteem on Maslow's hierarchy is the need for love and belonging. We are social animals. I agree. We need each other!!! There is no doubt about that.
Yet our need for "special" relationships exemplifies more of a lack of self esteem than it does a healthy one. Don't you think? If we need to select and be selected by one or two special people in our lives to feel like we matter and we are of value...is that truly self- esteem? If we are feeling a need to fill up emptiness in us...is that a sign that we moving up toward feeling good about ourselves? Is it a true step toward actualization? Isn't actualization all about valuing an emptiness that is not loneliness?
And why select? Why do we have to choose and be chosen by a few select people when true actualization will teach us that everyone and everything in the world is a part of us. When we select a few we draw distinct lines in the sand between "us and them" and we create an identity based on that...at the exclusion of all others. Does exclusion sound like an appropriate mode of being in actualization?
Is Esteem about Giving others responsibility for feeling good about who we are?
Don't get me wrong. We need to belong and love the people we are around. I love the people I have "special relationships" with but in truth part of the reason I love them is because they make me feel better about "me". I still believe in some warped part of my mind, that they have the power to boost my self esteem and take me to where I want to be. Not only the power...but the responsibility!
Most of the time...I believe they are helping me to get there. When they fail to meet that ego-imposed responsibility or worse they "make me" feel bad about myself, however, ...which happens a lot in all special relationships...I don't like them very much and I have a tendency to make them want to feel bad for not meeting my esteem needs. I unconsciously get angry, pass judgment, blame and do whatever I can to make them feel guilty for not making my "esteem" their major priority.
If you are honest with yourself, I bet you do the same in your special relationships. Does this sound like a healthy step toward actualization?
Lacking?
I see this pyramid, as wonderful as it is in many ways, lacking. It does not speak to what I have come to believe actualization really is. When we are truly Self actualized we actualize the Self, not the ego. In that Self we may recognize the insignificance of ego's version of "self" which is limited to I, me and mine. We put that little self down and proceed to serve the world.
That is how I see it anyway. Esteem/self image won't take us there.
All is well
-Bruce Lee
I love what Abraham Maslow has done in the field of psychology and social science. I have studied his pyramid in depth and agree with how many of those rungs he describes can lead us to Self-actualization. Well, all accept one. I question Esteem and wonder if it will simply lead us to ego's version of "little me" actualization rather than truth. Hmm!
Esteem
We all want to be recognized and valued by other human beings but are we being conditioned to value the ego in ourselves and others more so than the actual Self? Are we striving toward true self actualization or self-image actualization?
Being successful doing?
What types of things bring on this type of esteem that precedes actualization on Maslow's climb to the top of the pyramid? Being successful? What, then, does it mean to be successful to the ego in today's western culture? Most of us would say it involves having a "good, respectable job"...one that will allow for economic and social status growth, right? One that others will be envious of? One that will make us "appear" a certain way in the eyes and minds of others? One that will allow us to attain a certain wealth and to buy and own a lot of cool "stuff"? So to attain and maintain esteem, we need a "good" job that promotes all the things the ego loves? What we "do" is all important to the ego's version of esteem.
What about being?
What about "being"...where is that mentioned? What about that presence and awareness that doesn't require striving and fighting. What about the living that exists in us here and now? Where is that mentioned?
Being Recognized and Validated
Some would also say success requires being liked, loved, or adored by others. Recognition is an important part of esteem. Do we need, then, to have a reputation built on pleasing others...to maintain an image of being important, "normal", "worthy", productive ? Many would say that is what we need in order to maintain "esteem"-an image.
We have to blend into the norms of our modern culture and stand out only when we can exemplify them. That is success...in this version of esteem. We will be esteemed, we will feel esteem when we are "like others" so we can be "liked by others".
Image or Authenticity?
We are in a sense dependent on external validation...that which is obtained from the "outside". So what ever is considered "normal" in the outside world is what we must adhere to regardless if it makes sense or not to our authentic selves ...to achieve successful esteem? So where does authenticity come in to play? What about what we really want and see as important...or even what makes sense to us. Do we ignore that to fit in?
Being in special relationships
And we are told we need to have healthy "special" relationships to reach esteem. The rung that precedes Esteem on Maslow's hierarchy is the need for love and belonging. We are social animals. I agree. We need each other!!! There is no doubt about that.
Yet our need for "special" relationships exemplifies more of a lack of self esteem than it does a healthy one. Don't you think? If we need to select and be selected by one or two special people in our lives to feel like we matter and we are of value...is that truly self- esteem? If we are feeling a need to fill up emptiness in us...is that a sign that we moving up toward feeling good about ourselves? Is it a true step toward actualization? Isn't actualization all about valuing an emptiness that is not loneliness?
And why select? Why do we have to choose and be chosen by a few select people when true actualization will teach us that everyone and everything in the world is a part of us. When we select a few we draw distinct lines in the sand between "us and them" and we create an identity based on that...at the exclusion of all others. Does exclusion sound like an appropriate mode of being in actualization?
Is Esteem about Giving others responsibility for feeling good about who we are?
Don't get me wrong. We need to belong and love the people we are around. I love the people I have "special relationships" with but in truth part of the reason I love them is because they make me feel better about "me". I still believe in some warped part of my mind, that they have the power to boost my self esteem and take me to where I want to be. Not only the power...but the responsibility!
Most of the time...I believe they are helping me to get there. When they fail to meet that ego-imposed responsibility or worse they "make me" feel bad about myself, however, ...which happens a lot in all special relationships...I don't like them very much and I have a tendency to make them want to feel bad for not meeting my esteem needs. I unconsciously get angry, pass judgment, blame and do whatever I can to make them feel guilty for not making my "esteem" their major priority.
If you are honest with yourself, I bet you do the same in your special relationships. Does this sound like a healthy step toward actualization?
Lacking?
I see this pyramid, as wonderful as it is in many ways, lacking. It does not speak to what I have come to believe actualization really is. When we are truly Self actualized we actualize the Self, not the ego. In that Self we may recognize the insignificance of ego's version of "self" which is limited to I, me and mine. We put that little self down and proceed to serve the world.
That is how I see it anyway. Esteem/self image won't take us there.
All is well
Saturday, June 29, 2019
Is The Atmosphere Peaceful and Harmonious?
If in a room full of people someone becomes angry and begins shouting, the atmosphere becomes tense for everyone. However, if every person in a group feels and demonstrates warm feelings and respect for one another, the atmosphere is peaceful and Harmonious.
- Dalai Lama
Have you ever noticed that? How much better it is to live or work with a bunch of people who show warmth and respect for each other? Have you ever been in a situation where one person was angry all the time and overtly or covertly ( which is often the case in a poison work environment) expressing that anger? Not nice is it? You tend to feel the heavy tension and discord in the environment before your mind can even make sense of what is going on.
So what do we do in these situations?
First of all...don't be the yeller! Tame your mind enough to recognize when anger is beginning to bubble up in you and then control it before it blasts out to all the people around you. Recognize the anger, accept the anger, be accountable for the anger( no one or nothing can make you angry without your consent) , gently and nonjudgmentally allow it to pass through in a healthy way that doesn't drag people into the madness. Let it pass through and then let it go!!!!
If you are not the yeller...find out who is. Be aware of that individual's need to explode in public. Then become aware of that person's unconsciousness. Know they are still unconscious and not fully aware of what they are doing. Forgive them for that because it will make your life a lot easier and it will make the group dynamic a lot healthier.
If Jesus can make a plea to God while He is painfully being crucified, Father forgive them, for they no not what they do." Luke 23:34 ESV...you can recognize that the individual who is stirring up discord is just unconscious. Know that it is a waste of your time to try to understand them, fix them, get them to understand you or to change. It doesn't do any good to actively resist or to allow yourself to get caught up in the drama.
Step back and away physically if you can but if not, at least mentally. (Of course if your safety is at risk that is another story...definitely get help.)
Make it a conscious effort to be one of those who "demonstrates warm feelings and respect for one another" even when the people you are dealing with aren't as committed to such a task. Be peaceful anyway and eventually your life and the world around you will become more peaceful.
All is well.
- Dalai Lama
Have you ever noticed that? How much better it is to live or work with a bunch of people who show warmth and respect for each other? Have you ever been in a situation where one person was angry all the time and overtly or covertly ( which is often the case in a poison work environment) expressing that anger? Not nice is it? You tend to feel the heavy tension and discord in the environment before your mind can even make sense of what is going on.
So what do we do in these situations?
First of all...don't be the yeller! Tame your mind enough to recognize when anger is beginning to bubble up in you and then control it before it blasts out to all the people around you. Recognize the anger, accept the anger, be accountable for the anger( no one or nothing can make you angry without your consent) , gently and nonjudgmentally allow it to pass through in a healthy way that doesn't drag people into the madness. Let it pass through and then let it go!!!!
If you are not the yeller...find out who is. Be aware of that individual's need to explode in public. Then become aware of that person's unconsciousness. Know they are still unconscious and not fully aware of what they are doing. Forgive them for that because it will make your life a lot easier and it will make the group dynamic a lot healthier.
If Jesus can make a plea to God while He is painfully being crucified, Father forgive them, for they no not what they do." Luke 23:34 ESV...you can recognize that the individual who is stirring up discord is just unconscious. Know that it is a waste of your time to try to understand them, fix them, get them to understand you or to change. It doesn't do any good to actively resist or to allow yourself to get caught up in the drama.
Step back and away physically if you can but if not, at least mentally. (Of course if your safety is at risk that is another story...definitely get help.)
Make it a conscious effort to be one of those who "demonstrates warm feelings and respect for one another" even when the people you are dealing with aren't as committed to such a task. Be peaceful anyway and eventually your life and the world around you will become more peaceful.
All is well.
Thursday, June 27, 2019
Frustrated?
Vanity of vanities, says the preacher.
Vanity of vanities! All is vanity!
What does man gain from all the toils
at which he toils under the sun?
-Ecclesiastes I (ESV)
Are you feeling frustrated with yourself yet?
I hope so! I am not being mean when I say that.
I sincerely hope that you are getting frustrated enough with yourself that you are willing to change. I want you frustrated with life and I want you watching yourself be frustrated. I want you frustrated with the stuff going on in your mind as you come to terms with the craziness and the never-ending loop of negative thinking that goes on in there. I want you frustrated in your relationships, realizing that other people are not making you happy and knowing somewhere that that isn't their job anyway. I want you feeling frustration over the fact that no matter how hard it is, how much of your time and energy it takes to get what you want from out there to make you happy...that it never lasts. Either you can't seem to get everything needed or when you do it just doesn't last.
I just want you good and frustrated. I want you shouting out, "My life just isn't working for me!"
Why would I wish frustration on someone?
Because frustration is the doorway to change. Frustration is a sign that something isn't working and maybe, just maybe you are ready for a change.
Frustration with self is built into our existence-to drive us out of identification with form.
Eckhart Tolle
What has to change?
Not the things out there. It would be impossible to change everything around us so it suits us and keeps us happy forever. Life doesn't work that way. What we need to change is our thinking and our perceiving...how we see the world! That is what has to change. Change is an internal game just as our reason for frustration is not an external one. Frustration cannot be blamed on the outside world. It is our minds that are responsible for our negativity and through our minds we can put that frustration to bed, once and for all.
Circumstances cannot keep you happy, people cannot make and keep you happy. No matter how much money you earn or how many things you possess...you will not be happy ( or unhappy) because of them. The past can't bring happiness back to you...and the future cannot make you happy because it never comes. Isn't that darned depressing? Frustrating?
I hope so because once you get to that point of realization... the light comes in. You stop striving and fighting and struggling and grasping at forms be they tangible or just thoughts. You slip out of time focus and settle your tired old butt down into the moment. That is a beautiful place to understand things clearly.
What will make you happy?
I look at the word "happy" as an ego adjective rather than a spiritual one. What would make you peaceful, joyful, "alive"? That is a better question.
The answer is: this moment you are in and Life doing what ever Life does in that moment. That is what can make you much more than "happy". Realization of who you really are...which is whole, full, well and complete...will bring you peace. In fact it is the only thing that can wipe away the frustration and bring you peace.
What will bring you joy is not a thing you can hold in your hand or the achievement of a goal that takes you from this moment. It is what is inside you here and now.
That something is Life. Feel it. Appreciate it! Enjoy it! You will find no frustration there.
All is well.
Wednesday, June 26, 2019
Good Reason to Attack?
This will lead you to hatred and attack and loss of peace. ACIM:T:8:VII:4:9
Well isn't there sometimes a good reason to attack?
What if someone was about to bomb my country first? Wouldn't that be good reason to attack? What if someone was about to steal my life savings, purposefully burn my house down or brutally beat up someone I loved ? Isn't that good enough reason to attack?
Man! That would be terrible and I honestly hope that nothing like that ever happens to you. If any of the above was about to happen to me, right now, I don't know what I would do. I would probably very much want to attack ( once I got over the daze of fear and victim hood), and to be honest I probably would attack if I could. I would attack because I am not evolved enough yet to do what would truly benefit all concerned. I would attack because I would be so consumed with fear of what would happen if these things happened? What "I" would lose.
And what if my defenses don't work and these things actually go down, what then? Isn't counter attack called for? I would tell myself it was! I would t be angrily thinking of the injustice perpetuated on me, and ego would be more than roaring that "Someone has to pay!"
A Different Approach
If I were truly evolved, however, I know somehow that my approach would be different. I would be able to step back from the situation and look at it more clearly. I would see it all, not through ego's angry eyes, but through spirit's. Things would appear totally different from that perspective. With a certain detachment and a whole lot of clarity and wisdom I would see that "attack" does no one any good. I would see that the part of "me" that is strongly encouraging me to attack, is a part of me I truly don't want running my life. I would also see that what I am defending is something not worth defending.
What? My country, my livelihood, my house or my loved ones are not worth defending? How can you say that?
Hmm! This is a tough one so bear with me. Though it seems that you are defending something valuable in these counter attacks, are you really? Do you truly understand why you value the things you value and what is truly important?
Is it justified to attack for country?
You value country and find it deserving of defense and attack?
Okay. Are you attacking for "country" or for an idea you have of "country"? Somewhere in your mind, you see clearly marked border lines around this thing you call your country but if I asked you to show me those clear lines in the earth all around it, could you? Unless Trump puts his wall up, there are no real lines separating all the countries in the world are there? Borders for the most part are just something created by the mind. Separate countries, then, are just mental constructs we cling to and defend, aren't they? You can't point to the actual ending of one country and the beginning of another in anyway other than on a map, can you?
We may put fences up and scattered border crossings to support our mental constructs but the earth doesn't define itself by separate countries, does it? Why do we? And why do we put so much energy, resources, time and more lives into defending these borders that really do not exist anywhere but in our minds? Are you truly willing to attack for an idea of something created by the mind?
You are defending this idea of "separation," aren't you?
Just say, we were to realize the truth that there was no such thing as border lines, your country would then be the whole world, wouldn't it? And if "your country" is the whole world who was bombed in the first attack and who would be bombed in your counter attack? Who is hurting and who is getting hurt?
And are you actually attacking for "country" or for a particular idea you have of "your country". If there actually were natural borders between "us and them", and the bombed country was some place on the map you never heard of, would you attack for that so called country? Would you even be angry for more than a few minutes upon reading about it in the news? No...probably not.
You see, you are justifying attacking for "your country". You, well the ego part of you, has identified itself with the imagined geographical borders that surround you. You see this piece of earth as yours...you define yourself by it. "I am an American, a Canadian, an Australian." It is in a sense the "you" you see yourself as. What you are really defending then is not "country" but a part of you...a part of you filling you with destructive separation ideas. This idea of "my country" just gives you a sense of identity as a separate being, individually and collectively. It feeds the ego. You then are defending ego. You are defending and attacking for ego, not "country".
Do you value ego that much that you would attack for it? Is it truly something that matters enough to fight over?
Is it justified to attack for your livelihood?
So you worked hard all your life, putting money aside for some rainy day and someone who has no right to it, someone who maybe never worked an "honest day" in their life comes and attempts to snatch it all away. Surely, now you have a reason to attack?
Let's look at this a little closer. What are you about to lose here? Money? What is money? Money is just a symbol of "stuff" that our society places great value on. It is also something that terrifies us. Why? Money is directly related to ego's constant chirping that "there isn't enough." Ego thrives on this scarcity principle. It is how it drives us. How will we ever survive in a "not enough" world if someone or something takes "the not enough" we have away? Fear is generated and fear leads us to defend or attack.
You also justifying your attack because because the money you earned was "hard earned". Anything you worked hard for is valuable to who, to which part of you? Is it valuable to the spirit that says, "You need nothing; you already are complete; relax; it is more important to be than do; Life will take care of you" ...or is it valuable to the ego (both yours and the collective ego of society)?
As far as money is concerned in this attack dilemma, remember it is a thing of form. All things of form come and go. It is never worthy of attack.
It is only valuable to ego. The ego says: "In order to get by in this hard cruel world you need to strive and fight and do and push and suffer. There is only so much to go around, so earn what you can by struggling and working hard. Then stuff it away somewhere because things are only going to get worse in the future. You will really need it then."
Think about that...does that make sense to the part of you that is not crazy?
The Idea of Time?
We are constantly clinging to the past and waiting for a then, aren't we? We tend to see the value of everything in Life through past and future, don't we?
And what are we really attacking for then? This idea of time? Are we defending the past? Are we clinging to all the past hours we put into earning this so called "life savings" thing, making it worth nothing if someone takes the "outcome" of those hours of struggle away? Are we defending and attacking for this idea of the "future"? What will happen in this future if we don't have any money...how will we survive?
Fear arises and maybe we feel justified to attack because of this fear of not making it? What would we have if we didn't have the future? What would all that work be worth then? Truth is many of us, in that situation, would be clinging to a belief that life is somehow in the past or in future and we attack for more than the money. We also fear what will happen if someone tries to take our concept of time away? It is this idea of time we are defending? Who will we be without it?
Time is ego's thing, not Spirit's( and by Spirit I mean our formless essence, our true Self, our higher consciousness...whatever you wish to call it.) . And when we defend and attack for time we are doing so to protect ego devices that don't serve us. Spirit knows the whole time we were working to earn we were just waiting for the next moment to come and the next until we had so much in the bank. We were not truly living in the only time there is. That time is right now.
Is it justified to attack for a home?
Man, the other night I was about to attack for my home without truly knowing what I was facing or what was truly going on. I was driven by ego's greatest motivator: fear. Fear and anger often go hand in hand. What we tend to fear is losing something we identify with...what ego identifies with. Our homes are full of our stuff, are they not? Things we collected over the years that somehow define us. Burn that down and you burn down a part of who we are, right? Who will we be without that? So we have a right to attack then, don't we?
It is all just stuff !!! It is not us. We are so much more than walls, and decor. Much more than the material things we collected. We are so much more than form. Is it ever okay to attack for stuff? Is it ever okay to attack for such silly things the ego needs to survive?
Is it justified to attack for a loved one?
This is a tricky one too. Life is sacred and it needs to be preserved. I definitely do not want to see anyone hurt and I can definitely understand the sense of justified grievance that would arise from seeing someone we love hurt by another....Ego would react like the "Mama Bear" but I think Spirit would look at this way.
It would ask... : Who is your loved one? Why are you only selecting a few of the 5 billion people who are on this planet as worthy enough to defend and attack over? Why isn't your loved one also the person in that country over there, or....person who did the attacking? Would you defend or counter-attack for someone you didn't know if they were getting hurt? If the person attacking was someone you loved too, how would you feel about attacking them then? Are you any different than the attacker if you attack back in whatever way you attack? Does attack justify attack? How is the attack helping to make the situation better? Can it undo what was done? Who is really being hurt by attack and counter attack?
I know I know...the biggest trigger I believe for wanting to attack is when the people we love get hurt or to protect them from it. We feel that intense pain, empathy and anger when the people we have selected as special get hurt by another, Right? Would you feel the same intensity of justified anger by hearing in the news how someone else you didn't know was assaulted by another? It may catch you a bit but most of us would only be momentarily uncomfortable. We probably wouldn't think of it again. Why then, do we react so strongly when the people we have "special" relationships with get hurt?
Again we see ourselves as separate and they become pieces of our separate world.
Special Relationships
Because somehow these "loved" victims are a part of us. Ego selected them because it needed them in order to feel more whole and complete. Most special relationships are "ego relationships" based on need and wanting. We strive to fill in our empty spots with others...loving them when we mistakenly believe they "fill us up and make us feel good" , hating them (or at least attacking them) when they fail to do so. We are heavily invested in these relationships...for ego's sake.
If it wasn't for ego we would see no need for "special" relationships and we would be able to see our connection in all beings. We would be able to see the same light in the attacker as we see in the attacked. Though we would not condone the behaviour by any means and expect consequences be they karmic or social sanctions, we would forgive. We would recognize his/her unconsciousness but still see the beauty and innocence within.
If spirit were in charge of our response to these things it would tell us that we will also be hurt by any attack we throw at another. For the light in the attacked and the attacker is the same light that is in us. We are all one. Separation by body lines is another thing the mind has made up that we foolishly believe.
Who we really are...we all are. One! If I hurt another, I hurt myself. When another hurts me, they hurt themselves. This truth exists beyond all the unconsciousness we walk around with, beneath all ego's mixed up hold on us. This truth is all that matters!
And the truth also professes that we are cannot be hurt by anything! So though the threat to country, possessions, home or loved one can be felt by the ego...it is not felt by who we really are. What is valuable is this truth only.
No "outrageous" effect requests can be made of one who recognizes what is valuable and wants to accept nothing else. ACIM:T:12:lll:4:8
The Only valuable thing worth defending and protecting is who we really are...and that cannot be hurt anyway.
All is well.
ACIM
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)