If it does not distract you from yourself, you are stuck with yourself...Anything that feels good is shakti. If it doesn't capture your attention and distract you from yourself, so a higher energy can make it through your centers, you are not going to feel anything.
Michael Singer
How often do we say, "Well, it is something to do...better than nothing?"
I found myself saying that yesterday when I noticed myself dilly dallying over my you tube channels. I find myself saying that to myself or others to explain why I take the time to write here or do a video for my channel. I mean, I am half embarrassed, half motivated to serve and at the same time desperately needing something to do for a distraction. I do not do this for the outcomes, I do so for the serving purpose and for the distraction. Doing so, for some reason, distracts me enough to feel "better" if not great.
So, I am trying to do what Marcus Aurelius encouraged us to do...to make everything said, thought, or intended like that of a dying person. A dying person is concerned about what they leave behind. I have both selfish and selfless reasons for doing so. Selflessly, I do wish to serve Life , others, the world. That is real. I want what I do to have meaning and purpose in alleviating even just a bit of suffering or difficulty in the world. That is real and true. Selfishly, I need something to focus on...something that gives this human meaning and purpose. Teaching and writing has meaning for this "me". This human also needs an escape from the realiity of this present life situation. I need a distraction from this "problematic me". Well, from what mind calls the problematic me and the reality of my situation...not necessarily what Self defines as such.
I am looking for a distraction from myself. Without such distraction I feel very stuck. In that stuck feeling I do not experience shakti. It would feel so good to experience more shakti. Hmm!
Yesterday I went"out there" seeking a lever that I assumed would open the door of this positive energy, hoping it would allow shakti to come up at least in trickles. Someone made a kind getsure by seeking to help me gain more recognition for my blog and youtube channels thinking that success there would make me feel better. I listened as if they were pointing to a lever.
I do not come here to acheive "success". It is not my goal to be a social influencer. I leave that for the younger generation. :) I do not need a big audience, nor do I necessarily need to be paid for what I do. (Wouldn't say no to that though lol). I do , however, want to serve and share the bit I have to serve and share before I die so this Life has meaning. I also have selfish reasons for coming here and to my channel. I love writing and teaching...it opens me up at least a bit. It is a beautiful distraction from problematic self.
Though I really do not expect (I put little into making these perfect for viewing) or actively seek more success in these areas because I know that it will only do so much for my state of peace, it made me question if that pursuit of creating a better media presence could be a nice distraction if not a lever that will open up the door to shakti.. Maybe sorting out my channels, making them more specific and niche-like would help not only distract me while doing it...but lead to some thing that will hold the lever down?
So, I went to Youtube and spent hours organizing my channels. I have a channel now for Hatha Yoga called Desk Break Yoga, one for guided mindfulness and meditation, and one for "Waking Up with Yoga and Ancient Wisdom". I feel silly almost spending time doing this so I can expose the self I want to distract from in this way, but it does give my mind a nice purposeful distraction. And what I say and do in these blog entries and videos has meaning for this "self" and this "Self". Not sure they will have meaning for anyone else...but heck, "It is something to do."
Creating each video with the intention of helping someone else serves this me and at the same time it distracts it from focus on this problematic self. I feel the trickle of shakti pouring through. Hmm! I am grateful for that.
All is well.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLfNJkfANIfDRENfPjnXhGw
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