Beyond self, Self Allows the Energy to Flow the Way It Flows

 

[Let go of the way you think it should be]....So the energy can flow unconditionally instead of having to be  under your control.

???

Trying not to get frustrated as I find myself sinking into the physical and psychological needs inventory again. I do have to figure things out.  I do have to make plans for this future that seems so uncertain right now.  Yes, I have places to stay at present and I do appreciate that... but this "couch surfing" is not sustainable. I am so aware of that reality and it does leave me feeling ungrounded and unsettled.  Though I can "be" in this present moment, I kind of need to make plans and decisions about where I will be in the moments up ahead.  I have to sacrifice some of these present moments to do that. I need to find a place for this human I call me to settle into on an extended basis, to be able to call her own for physical safety and psychological peace. It doesn't have to be much...a roof, some heat (It gets cold in Cananda in the winter time so insulation and heat are important...ruling out many camps and campers etc), plumbing of some kind, and enough power to write, cook, live.  I feel so defeated when I look through the real estate pages.  There are very limited opportunities. Rent is very expensive here . I literally cannot afford it. I would love a separate building but alas I do not have much choice in the matter these days. I just need a roof!

 I need to work to increase my income to a liveable standard but I need a vehichle to work. It just sucks! I cannot afford a vehichle.  For the human it really, really sucks. It creates such a sense of instability to a mind that was conditioned to believe stability was everything...sigh! 

Is it a problem for the higher Self?  That is the question I keep asking when that sense of instability threatens to carry me down some deep dark well. It is a question we all should ask ourselves when we face very real human challenges. I ask.  And I know instantly that it isn't a problem for That which flows with life instead of against it . Instead of expecting the current to flow its way, instead of spending great time and energy trying to control that current so it flows to meet this human's expectations...Self just allows Life to decide which way she wants to go. It accepts, allows, honors all of it. Thy will, not my will, be done! is its mantra. 

Hmmm! Experiencing Life as Self rather than this tormented little self, is a much better way to live, wouldn't you say? Life is so much more peaceful when we see through the higher Self. Still...we have to think in terms of what  'this human' needs and do our small part to make changes while,at the same time, flowing with Life rather than against her.

When I am down here swimming in the muck of human drama trying to "deal", I have to remind myself that Life knows what it is doing even if this little human doesn't have a clue.  At those times, I need to remind myself of who I  really am...that Self that is watching self find its way through challenge. 

All is well.