Self-Improvement?

The Buddha said  that wisdom must come only from the abandonment of selfish craving or desire....One who abandons that desire attains  nirvana...which is supreme peace, liberation. Nirvana means, in sanskrit, blow out...that is exhale the breath. The opposite... desire... is to breathe in. Now if you breathe in and hold it you lose your breath but if you breathe out, it comes back to you.  So the principle here is, if you want life don't cling to it. Let go. 

Alan Watts

It should be easy then for us to surrender our breath to Life by breathing out our selfish desire and craving. But it isn't easy. We may spend most of our lives trying to improve this human being by giving up the self for the Self but we just can't seem to do it. It isn't easy giving up that self no matter how much of a rascal it might be.   Why?

How can I surrender myself when my self is simply an urge to hold on...to cling...to cling to Life...to survive. I can see rationally that by clinging to myself I may strangle myself...like a person who has a bad habit as a result of which he is committing suicide but can't give it up because the means of death are so sweet.

So, we are habitually addicted to keeping this mental construct of "me", this  self concept of mind alive. We cling at the same time we embark on these journeys of "self-improvement" which often include some psychological, physical, financial, social or spiritual goal and mission. It is like we as self are saying to self:

Kindly let me help you or you will drown [says the monkey putting the fish up a tree].

Self improvement...no matter how we do it is like a vicious circle. Alan Watts reminds us,

if you are really aware of your own inner workings you will realize there is nothing you can do to improve yourself...because you don't know what better is and you, who will do the improving, is the one that needs to be improved

Putting effort into improving is the opposite of improving

You can't be unself conscious on purpose....you can't be designedly spontaneous ...and you cannot be genuinely loving by intending to love...

An example from this human's life

when the degree becomes the point in the game of one-up-manship instead of learning for the sake of learning

I love learning.  I love learning for the sake of learning.  Most of my learning to date is informal, self-directed and not attached to a degree. (And there are decades of that type of formal as well as informal learning). I just love learning and I enjoyed the moments of felt experience I had during the process of randomly taking one course or another for no other purpose than to pursue my interest in the subject. If the years of university learning were directed by degree focus, I could have a PhD by now. Though I thoroughly enjoyed the process, there is a part of me that craves the "perks" of education that go beyond the love for learning.  The PhD still looks to me like a podium might look to an Olympic athlete...something to dream of, something to strive for. It would be, in my mind only, the ultimate symbol of my success over myself...the ultimate symbol of self-improvement. I often regret that I didn't direct my university learning into degree programs that would feed the craving and clinging needs of this self I am trying to improve: socially ( through recognition), financially (through better paying job opportunities: making money is a measure of your economic worthwhilenes),  and mentally and emotionally by creating in me an idea of "self improvement and success". There is, then, no real measure of my improvement here. At the same time, it is very challenging to look into this "craving" I have because it makes me feel like I failing in my truest mission to improve my spiritual self...the one that can transcend ego-grasping. I have obviously not improved there if I am still craving the ego perks of higher education. 

This idea of self-improvement, in whatever form it comes in, takes me around in circles. I don't seem to be doing much improvement. Then I hear Watts say:

The whole idea of self improvement is a hoax...there is nothing you can do to be better...

If we realized there is nothing we can do to improve ourselves or make the world a better place...this gives us a breather in the course of which we can simply watch what is going on...watch what happens

This helps me to look beyond my compartmentalization of this craving tendency ...the spiritual craving to transcend the ego mind is no better than or no worse than my craving to externally improve myself through a degree. 

The real world is not spiritual...it is not material...it is simply... [He claps here.... indicating...it simply is!]

Then he says,

Trying to improve yourself is like trying to lift yourself into the air by tugging on your own bootstraps.

No matter how much we strive to self improve by social and physical world standards, we will not succeed. Nor will striving to get beyond the mind so we can improve spiritually save us.  These intentions to improve are all constructs and ideas where we assume incorrectly that we have control. We don't.  What we simply need to do is breathe in and breathe out as we "notice" this Life blowing in and out of our awareness. 

Our job here is to notice and experience, not to improve.

All is well.

Alan Watts/Official Alan Watts Org ( September 16, 2025) Mind Over Mind: Self-Improvement, Grace, and the Paradox of Control. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHXisYGjvmM&t=2s

Stand as a Rock; Know Who You Are- the One Self

 

Everything must complete the circle and come back to its source. 

Soul is not a force; neither is it thought. It is the manufacturer of thought, but not thought itself; it is the manufacturer of the body, but not the body...

You are only one; there is only one such Self, and that One Self is you...

When it is all One, who is there to hate, who is there to struggle with? When it is all He, with whom can you fight? 

"Tat Tvam Asi" (That thou art)...

Know that every thought and word that weakens you in this world is the only evil that exists. Whatever makes men weak and fear is the only evil that should be shunned...

Stand as a rock; you are indestructible. You are the Self, the God of the universe. Say- "I am Existence Absolute, Bliss Absolute, Knowledge Absolute, I am He," and like a lion breaking its cage, and be free forever. What frightens you , what holds you down? Only ignorance and delusion; nothing else can bind you. You are the Pure One, the Ever-Blessed.

Silly fools tell you that you are sinners, and you sit down in a corner and weep. It is foolishness, wickedness, down right rascality to say that you are sinners...

Is not the whole universe you? Where is there any one that is not you? You are the Soul of this universe. You are the sun, moon, and stars. It is you that is shining everywhere. The whole universe is you? Who are you going to hate or fight?

Vivekananda (n,d.) Chapter 2.5.12: Immorality [on the perfect, eternal, all knowing Oneness...of which we are a part ... expressed in the Vedas] Complete Works. Kindle Edition

Wow! These words hit me hard as I read them before falling to sleep.  They need no added interpretation.

All is well 

Drift like a cloud and Flow Like Water

 And you suddenly see through the whole sham of things. You realize "you're that" (we won't put a name on it.) You're that and you can't be anything else. So you are relieved of fundamental terror...to live without hangups...to drift like a cloud and flow like water....seeing that all life is a magnificent illusion...a playing of energy...and there is absolutely nothing fundamentally to be afraid of. 

Alan Watts

Hmm! During my practice of Tai Chi and hatha yoga I consciously try to move this body like a cloud (there is actually a form called "Cloud hands"in the 24 Yang style) and to flow like water. My intention is to have this "That"  that "I am" this Chi, this Chit Shakti....flow freely within this "me" and then to have it flow into this experience of Life. I wish to experience the play of energy so I am relieved of "fundamental terror."

Hmm!

All is well!

Robin Song and Suffering

 Suffering is your perceptions clashing with reality. 

Sven Schneiders

I heard a robin singing yesterday as I walked along the cedar-lined trail close by.  I felt a twisting in my gut as I heard that beautiful song.  Why? It is January on the Atlantic Canadian coastline...a very challenging climate for migrating birds like Robins, to endure. Knowing that on the conceptual level, my mind automatically said "This isn't right. This shouldn't be.  Robins don't do winter. He /she should have flown south months ago. The poor thing will likely suffer and perish if the weather gets any worse and it will likely get worse.  Something terrible is happening to our atmosphere and environment that is confusing the natural flow of things. This isn't right." 

 From there I found myself thinking about climate change, a suffering world, the suffering beings in my own little life, and my own puny suffering. Though it was not articulated...this thought emerged from the depths of my psyche: "There is so much suffering in the world!" I then felt an uneasiness throughout the rest of the day that I tried to escape through my Tai Chi practice, yoga, housecleaning, knitting, reading etc.... Whenever I thought of that robin, I felt the compulsion to "do" something that would bury the thoughts and feelings associated with that trigger. I couldn't seem to distract enough. I still feel that knot in my gut this morning.

A beautiful song...followed by a host of negative thoughts.  Hmm! What went on in there?

Well, I think there were two things going on...Firstly, there was an instinctual alarm going off signalling my perceptive "survivor's" brain to determine when there is something out of order that might validate my need to be on alert and secondly there was  a habitual and negative pattern of responding to such things followed by resistance occuring. 

Yes...it was instinctual to feel alarm when one hears such "dissonance"...My physical brain knew automatically that the song, though beautiful and soothing in spring, was highly "unusual" in winter.   It picked up the unsuitability of that sound. It concluded that this sound should not be heard this time of the year. This  "should not" led to a physical reaction to prepare this human to fight, flight, or freeze.   Almost automatically I felt something was "wrong" and the belly clenched up. From amygdala to belly in a matter of milliseconds. 

The second part of that is that the resisting mind kicked in with the alarm from the amygdala and the subtle reactivation of the sympathetic nervous system.  Instead of simply just accepting that there was a robin singing around me in winter...I automatically went into resistance mode... "No! This is wrong, bad, shouldn't be?" 

Shouldn't be?

Where does that "shouldn't be" get us?  Nowhere.  Why? Because...It is.  That simple... The reality is: there was a robin out there for whatever reason. Right time/wrong time...doesn't matter.  There was a robin singing outside on a cool January morning. 

From the "shouldn't be" the resisting mind gathered the forces of the negative mind to prove its point...to validate a deeply held core belief that "there is too much suffering in the world"...and a host of negative thoughts emerged, also it seems, automatically...I was pulled into "suffering mind"...a mind that perceives and dwells in the suffering and misery of the world. I concluded that the robin was suffering or would suffer miserably because it was in a time and place it "shouldn't " be in. From there it just got more negative as I pictured it searching for food it couldn't find, freezing, and starving to death. Now there was a good dose of compassion and genuine concern for the well being of another wrapped around all that thinking...a sense of inter-beingness and connection etc ....which is always wholesome...yet the perception of the possible turn of events was very negative, unskillful, and unwholesome. I automatically assumed the worse suffering because the mind judged the situation as "bad, wrong, shouldn't be."  It validated my core beliefs about suffering. From there the suffering of those around me filled my mind. It was uncanny how fast it all seemed to happen. Then, I went into resistance mode trying to forget about the robin and all the thoughts it brought with it, to distract and numb as I supressed and repressed...which just made all the other things I had stuffed come up. This brought me to this one truth...this human I call "me" suffers when things are not as she assumes they "should be" and she automatically gets lost in negativity related to a core belief which leads to her resistance-to -suffering behaviours. 

What can be learned from this?

Well, obviously I must explore and counter this deeply held core belief that comes up with triggers that "there is too much suffering in the world".  Do you have such a belief you too need to counter?

Is there too much suffering in the world?

There is suffering for sure.  But is there too much or just enough to wake us up? What is this suffering and where does it come from, anyway? That suffering, I see clearly,  does not originate "out there" when things seem out of place.  It originates and blossoms in the human mind when we assume things should be different than what they are and we then resist the reality of what is. Suffering is a "perception" not a life happening. 

Is that robin actually suffering? January is not the most suitable time for a robin to be here. True. That robin may be colder than it is in June. True.That robin may be more challenged to find food. True. But...does the robin actually perceive suffering or just hardship? Does the robin resist the fact that it is here? Or does it simply accept that it is here regardless of its winter challenges?  It is still singing the most beautiful of songs afterall.  Truth is, we don't know why some robins are not all flying south these days.  That is between the robin and whatever changes are taking place in nature/Life. It just is.

This robin was not there to validate that "there is too much suffering in the world". It was just a robin singing in winter...It had nothing to do with this human called "me". Hearing it, though, indirectly  reminded me to look at this belief and to see my reaction to it (negative thought correlation and resistance to what is)...to relax into it and  to counter that belief with a more positive truth. 

We can explore and heal our minds and thus get beyond suffering.

All is well 

The Beauty In Being Humbled

 

A mistake that makes you humble is better than an achievement that makes you arrogant.

Unknown

I had an eye -opening experience yesterday, a humbling one, one that put ego in its place, and left me a little "off" as I contemplated it throughout the day and even into the night. It is an experience I am grateful for despite what it did to my poor old ego lol.

I believe I failed something that I assumed would come so easy to me...an assessment I used informally on others in so many different ways over my years as a tutor and in writing a book (by a name that ironically encapsulated the purpose of the testing). The experience yesterday was as humbling as having the pre-read assessment of other books I have written resulting in a "not quite good enough" from someone before I did what I intended to do with them. Hmm!  I recognized ego being deflated as I was tested...knowing when I was getting it and when I wasn't hearing or pronouncing what I was supposed to.  On hindsight I now know what I could have done to make the results better but during the testing that " know-how" somehow escaped me. And I "over thought" the answers instead of allowing my natural language speaking ability to lead the way. I didn't perform well lol. 

Though I knew at the closing that I didn't do as well as I thought I would and felt a sense of "embarrassment" and " failure" as the air hissed its way out of ego's balloon...I also felt so much gratitude for the experience. I recognized that this human had some work to do, not only in regard to phonemic and phonological awareness...but also in putting a way a need to make ego appear greater than it was. It was humbling! I am grateful for that humbling. 

It also gave me the opportunity to experience what it is like to be a struggling reader on the other side of that assessment, be it formal or informal. Though I believe I have always been very empathetic, caring, patient, and encouraging with my struggling readers pointing out their strengths and potential...this added new light to any similar endeavors I might potentially take on in the future ( if I ever do after this testing that is...lol). I recognized, as well, the importance of having the right degree of "know-how" in the person working with each student who is struggling to read...(or in the author of a book purporting to have the ability to assist others in such matters. So, I need to go back and practice all that I am asking others to practice :)   

When it comes down to teaching in any of its forms...it is about the student and not the ego of the teacher/tutor/ strategist/ or author. I want each student to get what they need to succeed...and if I am truly not skilled enough to provide that...so be it. I need to accept that reality and excuse myself from the table so someone who is skilled enough can sit down.  The axiom that fueled my approach in nursing, and later in my approach to teaching became loud in my head..."First...do no harm." Sigh!

So, I sincerely thanked the assesor for the experience and walked away feeling a mixture of things as I processed what happened. It did trigger some old samskaras, of course, but it also showed that I am opening up new neural pathways in response to such perceived failures.  I am seeing the learning, the growing opportunity, and the healing that can come from being humbled. That, I believe, is a beautiful thing.

Be as it may.

Unknown/Michael Singer

All is well.

. 

Not Letting Yesterday Take Up Too Much of Today

 Don't let yesterday take up too much of today.

Will Rogers

Can't every quote of the day apply in some way to the teaching/ learning which is actually the  learning/teaching I do here?  This one certainly can.  

Just a few entries ago, I spoke about the need to get away from the human attachment to time as a linear process...and to see the eternity in each moment we are in so we can "live" today.  I also often speak of samskaras. Aren't samskaras all about allowing yesterday to take up too much of our day?  Isn't that stored and stuffed stuff responsible for how yesterday prevents us from truly having the felt experience of today? Is this simple yet sage advice from Will Rogers something an enlightened  yogi might say, or the Buddha might have taught? It is, at least, something we should all remember.  

We need to let go of our attachment to yesterday, our samskaras that create this idea of "me"based on a past story.  We need to stop being so attached to this "history" which is nothing more than a story we tell ourselves and others. If we want to be free to experience the "felt experience" of Life we need to let go our yesterday focus...and live here and now. We cannot let yesterday take up too much of our days.

All is well

The Driver Isn't Ego

 

If you are working on something you really care about, you don't have to be pushed. The Vision pulls you.

Steve Jobs

I often try to justify and rationalize why this 60 + "crazy lady" is spending her time here spewing off all this "crazy talk" in words and video. Though I obviously have an ego and it still pops up every now and again looking to gain something from this experience...it is not the driver of this vehichle I am in. It spends most of its time, in fact, in the back seat screaming "OMG...What are you doing? Why are you turning there? Why are you going there? Don't go there, don't do that! That's not the right way! You are making a fool of yourself. Let me drive for F*&^ (fork) sake!" 

The driver has to do a lot of "ignoring ego" to concentrate on the road and to keep this car moving.  So, it isn't egoic motivation that puts me here every morning. Though ego likes to see the big numbers on the stats page and does the worrying about how this will turn out in the negative way ( Will people/bots/ whatever use the site for ulterior means? Will they reject it, dismiss it, diminish it, and judge the "me" creating it?) , the driver cares very little about all that.  It is able to notice what ego is saying and doing without getting all distracted by it. It stays focused. It has something to do...a place to get to ( I really don't know where that place is lol) and It just keeps going. It is like the driver knows what It is doing and where It is going even if I don't. Sigh!  This human I call "me" is just going along for the ride. 

As for Ego...ego can get out of the vehichle any time it wants to. 

All is well

Effortless Action and Non-Resistance

 Act without striving. Work without forcing.

Lao Tzu

All is well!

No Room For Effort

 In the practice of buddhism there is no room for effort.  Sleep when you are tired, move your bowels, eat when you are hungry. That's all. The ignorant will laugh at me but the wise will understand.

Zen MasterRinsai/Lin Chi

As I practice Tai Chi and think about "Chi" I want to know more about  the philosophies from which it orginated. I discovered in my research that it came mostly from Taoist thought in ancient China, dating back about 4000 years. It also incorporated other Chinese influences over time: Zen Buddhism (which itself was influenced by Taoist thought), for example, and it later evolved into a gentle martial art created by Shaolin monks.  There is also some Confusism in its elvolving thought and practice. Today, Tai Chi is often viewed as no more than a "gentle exercise done in parks by old people". It is so much more than that. As we do with yoga, we sometimes confuse the orgins of the exercise with the philosophy that started it. Though the original Tai Chi may be 4000 years old the actual physical exercise that is done today is only hundreds of years old. Why would we do the exercise other than to "move our aging bodies in a gentle way"? 

I want to know more about the philosophy of Zen and Tao.  I have such a hard time distinguishing the differences between the two.  I listened to Alan Watts this morning in hope that he would shed some light on that. I discovered, however, there were more simalarities than differences. I can relate those simalarities to the practice of Tai Chi.

Two things that stuck with me, as I listened to his lecture, were these ideas of "effortless action" and the uniterrupted flow from "thought, after thought, after thought" which is equivalent to "only this moment."

Effortless Action

Well Tai Chi is all about effortless action.  If you watch the forms being performed by a master...you will see an effortless flow from one movement to the next.  It doesn't look challenging (I am discovering it is more challenging than it looks)...it looks effortless. As a martial art it incorporates the idea of least amount of effort and tension as well. The idea is to relax into the opponents energy, and instead of resisting and tensing up against it ...to harmonize and flow with it...to use it and your own "chi". So the fight becomes a "dance" rather than a struggle. 

Tao is about getting  free from karma without announcing it or challenging it,,,

The taoist shows you the short cut by using intelligence rather than effort, using cleverness rather than muscle...

No Progression in time

There is also no progression in time in Taoist /Zen thought. We are the stream of consciousness and we are not changing as things change.  We can only be in this moment.  There is only this moment.

ShoboaGenzo/Alan Watts: "There is no such thing as a progression in time.  The spring does not become the summer. There is first spring and then there is summer.  In the same way, the you now does not become you later. 

The continuinity of the person from past to present to future is as illusionary as the red rings on a barber's pole. 

Our seeming to go along in a course of time...doesn't really happen 

There really is no problems. We make problems by connecting these events in time to each other. We block the stream of eternal and ever present consciousness when we do that, creating the illusion of suffering. 

Suffering exists but no one who suffers; deeds exist but no doers are found...a path there is but no one that follows it. nirvana there is but no one that attains it...Buddhagosha's Vishuddhimagga

As long as you are in the present no problems exist.

Q: What is the mind of a child? 

A: A mind is a mountain stream ? Thought after a thought after thoughter with no block. [no hesitation...automatically...no connection to each other...this is the stream of consciousness]

Blocking consists in letting the stream become connected, chained together...when such a thought arises it seems to be dragging its past or resisting its future....when the blocking stops, you have broken the chain of karma. This is nirvanna.

We need to learn to see things in their suchness. 

Q: What makes dying a problem?...

A: You are dragging a past...all the things you collected and stored in your psyche...identifying you as you say you are...memory...into this one experience, creating a problem with it...all that has to go...and that is why we don't like death...we do not want to let go of this idea of "me" and all we clung to...without this accumulation of events stored and blocking the stream of consciousness, death would not be a problem...

What we cling to, what we dread...spoils the taste of what we have to experience today

The taoist trick says...simply live now and there will be no problems 

Everyday is a good day on condition they come one after another... and yet there is only this one...you don't link them...things just do what they do....it has no meaning, it has no destination; it has no value...

Until we are awakened and truly understand the nature of suchness, we must not link one thought to the other, one moment to the next. Onnce we are there though, we can begin to observe these links again.

When you are firmly established in suchness and there is just this moment you can begin again to play with the connections...only you see through them...and now you see they don't haunt you...because you know there isn't any continous you running after them that originated in the past and that will die in the future

To the naive student mountains are mountains, waters are waters; to the intemediate student mountains are no longer mountains, waters are no longer waterss, but  for the fully perfected student, mountains are once again mountains and waters are once again waters. Qingyaun Wixein's saying as quoted by Alan Watts

Hmm! So much to learn and think about...but without effort and without connecting each new thought to the other. :) 

All is well.

Official Alan Watts Org/ Alan Watts (2020?) Taoist Way-Full Lecture.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ql4wGGTDapA&list=PLk-d6iSPJdcUet3g8CkTOGhzbgbhIQZm7

The Use of "We" over "Me"

 Some of you think the world would be better off this way, with all the newfound peace, love, and understanding. Enjoy that opinion. Relish it. Because it may be the last one you ever have.

Carol addressing the others who are okay with the infection Pluribus ( Apple TV) 

I was watching Pluribus last evening and listening as the "ego-less"  characters infected with the virus expressed themselves as "we". Though Carol, one of the uninfected, resented the use of that pronoun, resented the loss of ego, and resisted the letting go of the belief in "individuality" and "separation" she was gaining great respect and admiration for the infected. She was seeing what could be: this sense of joy that came from inside, not outside; this "Oneness" with all Life...the inability to do any harm to others, the inability to lie; overwhelming compassion and empathy...selflessness etc. She openly called them "weirdos" but gradually found comfort in their presence.  Still, she was greatly resistant to letting go of her own individual ego and sense of "self" for the joy that the others promised would come with the "joining". 

Two things crossed my mind as I watched this program: "Wow! It sounds like Yoga...and the infection is actually samadhi...they all have the ciddhis and everything. " And "Human lonliness and chronic dissatisfaction  is being used to draw the human race in. The "weirdos" are all acting like they have been hypnotised and indoctrinated by a cult leader. And Carol is resisting that and trying to bring it to light. Yet, there is no mention of a leader???" Hmm! Either way ...the infection is described as being a form of freedom, an end to human suffering in any of its forms, complete knowing, Bliss and Enlightenment. 

At this point, all we see is that the use of "we" is a contraversial thing...we cannot, as viewers, judge it as "bad" or "good" at this point. 

So, I wanted to write about this use of pronouns that us "uninfected" tend to overuse this morning.  Lo and behold...what showed up as read on my stats page this am: at least two entries where I spoke of "My and Mine" over the years. Pretty cool.

All is well.

Future and Daily Routine

 The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.

unknown

Took another quote of the day to ground my thinking and writing this morning. 

Hmm! So what will happen in the future is likely related to whatever it is we are doing now. What am I doing now? What routine have I established since I have moved in here?

 Every morning I wake up and come here with a cup of tea.  I read past entries. I listen to some external source of wisdom.  I write. Then I meditate, practice Tai Chi, do 30 minutes of hatha yoga.  Morning...gone. In the afternoon: I clean and tidy, go for a 40 minute walk, commune a bit with nature (discovered a family of deer I try to see on every walk), may or may not do a yoga nidra in the afternoon. I read. I knit, watch TV, read again, and meditate in the evening.  Amongst all that I feed myself and others ( including the animals), I take care of basic needs, I may walk the dogs a bit ( they require a shorter walk than the one I do), I am still working on the house,  I communicate with those in need to make sure everyone is at least still alive. What do I "not" do that my mind is telling me has to be added to my routine? Work! I am looking for remote teaching/tutoring work to add to my routine-and of course, I still have those books I told myself I would be inspired to finish in this new area ( the novel and the non-fiction one on Fear and Shame). On top of that I know I still need to work in some paying form. 

So, what does this daily routine say about my future.  Well if I keep going without paid work...I am going to be very, very poor in the future. lol. Hopefully, from what I do incoporate into my routine...I will become more awakened or at least more in touch with my Chi/shakti with my morning practice.  At the very least, I will become more fit. I already feel myself becoming more toned in different muscle groups since I started the Tai Chi practice and the walking. This I am hoping may mean lower levels of cholesterol in the future and stronger bones. My biggest goal is to heal at the deepest level, to experience more of a flow within, and more of a connection with the flow of Life energy. I think my daily routine is indicative that that might happen. 

What about the writing? Well the blog writing may never go "external" but what it offers me internally is something that will add to my future life in a positive way. It is healing and helping me to get closer to my ultimate goal. If I don't write and submit these other books, however, they will go nowhere, help no one.  So, I need to add that type of writing to my routine.

I also have to change or add to some of my routine if I want a healthier future. 

If I do not add some "money-making activity" to my daily routine now...there will be no change in my financial status in the future. 

Anyway, I do agree that we set the pattern in the now for how Life will respond in the future.  Even with our thinking alone...we need to intend positively so we live positively. Hmm!

All is well

The Secret of Success?

 Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.

Swami Sivanada

I didn't know what to write about this morning so I looked up the quote of the day. And...it was from a yogi. Go figure.

What is even crazier is that I woke up thinking about the little writing books I wrote with such fevor and passion this year.  I kind of gave up the "outcome"  for the writing of them after receiving some less than positive feedback from someone about my flimsy intentions for them.  My egoic self dreamed of some type of minor success...recognition...some finacial compensation even...but it dreamed of an outcome of redemption mostly.  Much of what I do has this motivation for redemption entwined in it. I am looking for the things I "do" or "create" to "lift me up" from these messy life circumstances and from this messy mind this human is living through. The writing of this series was a small act. I did put my heart, mind, and soul into the act itself...I enjoyed the process. The outcome was not successful in outer world terms but maybe it was successful in inner world terms.  Maybe, enjoying the process while detaching from outcome is truly the secret of success.  

All is well.

Watching and Learning From Ego in the Political Arena

 

One of the penalties of  refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

Plato

It is hard to look compassionately and with forgiveness at those in political power who are doing autrocious things against humanity....and doing so with such great arrogance, self-righteous conviction, dishonesty, and, I have to say, "utter stupidity".  It is hard to believe the fact that these leaders got voted in, elected, and preferred by the majority. It is even harder to accept the fact that they simply represent the collective mind set. It is hard not to automatically go into "fight mode", taking sides, further polorizing,  rallying against "them" on the other side, to hate them and anyone who follows what we judge as "sick ideologies" etc as we ask the universe, "This is how humanity thinks? This is how humanity wants to live? The world is falling to pieces. Is it hopeless now?" 

But accept is exactly what we must do...accept, learn, and grow from what we are observing.

Accept, Learn, and Grow!

It would be easy to get lost in that mindset of resistance, anger, blame, and defeat after a few minutes listening or watching  any news ( that doesn't come from Fox :)) and to feel like the world is falling a part. It would be easy to give into the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, believing that the human race is doomed and there is nothing to be done about it.

But...

There is another way of looking at this.  

The world is not falling a part ...it is simply changing, evolving as it is meant to do. So is the human race.  Like all evolutionary changes that occur in a species, awareness of what no longer serves comes into the forefront prior to the change taking place. Before that behaviour, that physical trait falls away, the unnecessity of that thing becomes obvious.  That land animal (Pakicetus, for example) transitioning into a beautiful marine whale...no longer needs the tail or legs. The unnecessity of tail and legs becomes obvious before they change to flippers and a fluke.  It doesn't need the teeth for mashing up its prey any more...mouths change. Through a process of many steps, it slowly evolves into an intelligent, highly social and more peaceful creature that is much more suited for the new environment it is in. 

Ego No Longer Needed

What are we seeing, that is becoming so flamboyantly obvious, in our political leaders that represent the social mind? We are seeing ego in its most obvious form.  We are seeing selfishness, and greed.  We are seeing the dangerous use of "I, me, and mine" both in reference to the leader themselves and the nations they represent. We are seeing the idea of "separation" being propagated which leads to defense and attack...and then even greater separation. It is becoming so very obvious that this "ego" does not serve humanity in any way, shape, or form through the flamboyantly destructive actions of these leaders...

It is becoming so obvious, is it not,  that egos are in the way of us achieving what is now needed in this ever changing environment: peace, compassion, harmony, balance, unity, and most of all love? We have to see the separate and collective ego for what it is- how it is anything but useful- before we can put it aside to morph into this more evolved state we are heading toward. What greater way to see it than when it is put in the forefront of our societies, when we see what these egos can do when they are given power.  This becomes obvious: These egos are not only no longer necessary...they are counterproductive to our survival. 

So, though it is challenging to look at those in political power with forgiveness and compassion...we can see that their exploitation of ego is serving humanity more so than it is harming it. We can see how useless and destructive these concepts of "I, me, and mine" are.  This dispaly is assisting with necessary change by allowing humans to see how this mindset does not serve. Change will come from that realization...great change! Instead of putting all our energy into fruitlessly  hating and resisting what is happening in the political forefront, we simply need to sit back and observe knowing that this is taking us to a higher place. 

What about forgiving them?

Remember: these leaders are still in the Pakicetus stage of evolution and they are just doing what Pakicetus' do. They may fear the change ahead and are simply trying to protect what they know. 

They know not what they do. Luke 23:34

Besides...they represent the collective mindset or at least some parts of the dogma we are still clinging to, the egos we have yet to let go of.  They are showing us that we still cling to egos within our little selves. So yes,  they are worthy of our compassion and our forgiveness. They are us. Some parts of each and everyone of us are still clinging to those egoic ideologies these leaders represent.  Otherwise, they would never have been voted in. 

From here...we must accept that all this is happening.  We do not need to agree with it or like it but  what has happened has happened.  There is no changing the past. Then ...we need to observe this thing called "ego" and its destructive nature on this very obvious stage we have been given to watch it on.  Observe objectively. See the importance of "awareness" and "realization" over ignorance, resistance, and judgement. 

Breathe! Breathe alot! 

Instead of giving into the negativity of this experience...start training the mind to see the positive.  Know that change is coming, change is ineveitable, that the the human race is evolving and it it is always going forward, never backwards. The process of adaptation to change, however, involves firstly becoming aware of what is no longer needed for survival.  These power hungry egos so flamboyantly dispalyed in the political arena, and still so quietly hiding in us....are no longer necessary. We need to let them go for the greater good. When we let them go, we can morph into the compassionate, peaceful,  loving and wiser creatures we are meant to be as this world continues to change around us.

This is not a world falling a part.  It is simply a world changing.

The measure of a man is what he does with power.

Plato

All is well.

Gurus Engaging in Misdeeds?

 In Hinduism, a spiritual guru enjoys more respect than even parents because he not only gives his disciples a spiritual rebirth but also leads them on the path of liberation. Hence, he is even considered God in human form, and at times even ritually worshipped. Unfortunately, this sentiment is often exploited by fake gurus who assume the role of a spiritual master without necessary qualifications and engage in misdeeds.

 https://www.hinduwebsite.com/buzz/ten-signs-of-a-fake-guru.asp

Misdeeds?

I watched a 2024 Andre Duqum podcast last evening as he interviewed this very charsimatic and calming personality dressed like a vedic monk...someone I never seen before. I was immediately drawn to the interviewee.  His persona seemed so "trustworthy" and attractive because it seemed so "humble". He spoke with such quiet conviction. I seen the powerful charisma in him. I wanted to look at him and I wanted to listen to him...and I wanted to believe him. That was when the first red flag was planted in my gut.  I asked out loud, "Is this a form of subtle hypnosis? Is he authentic or a cult leader?" 

I watched Andre interview him.  Though he was a pleasant, professional and receptive interviewer...I noticed that the expression on his face was not one of complete openness...especially over the discussion on the monk's experience of "samadhi" after one meditation experience.  Another little red flag. 

Then the monk, (who will remain unnamed for now in respect for the podcaster) began to speak of this organization he headed and his definition of "bhakti" which really meant- devotion to him as the guru.  That was the biggest red flag. I needed to investigate more. So, I did research today.

The first thing I discovered was that though he dressed like a vedic monk...he was called a "neo-Hindu religious leader". He wasn't accepted amongst traditional hindu leaders.  That was a very big flag. Then I seen that he went beyond the notion of "Tat Tvam Assi" to call himself ...in a sense...an incarnation of God. Not so humble! Red flag! Finally, I began to read that there were allegations made against him. Most of the publicized  allegations were against his right hand man who he himself publically claimed to be an incarnation of Shiva. Hmm! He was God and this disciple was Shiva? In his disciple's ashram, which I assume would be under his control, horrific abuse was said to have occurred. I went on to listen to the testimony of people who "escaped". 

It was brutal and it stirred up my interest in cults again. It  made me question, once again, the problem with devotion to a guru who has such charisimatic abilities. 

Oh man...how does one trust someone claiming to be a spiritual leader out to serve our best interests and spiritual growth? Truth is - we can't.

Be careful with those professing that the "sweetness of bhakti" is best experienced by serving another human being with a hungry ego.

Hmm! All is well. 

The Beautiful Dance

 What matters is what you experience...what you feel...

You are capable of a constant open flow of this river of joy that is always passing through your heart.

Michael A. Singer

Energy is a real thing no matter if we can or cannot see it or intellectualize it or pick it up on a MRI or even what we name it: Shakti, Prana, Chi, Qi. Energy is real.  How do we know? Because we can feel it...we notice it inside us...we experience it.  We are aware when we are up, and we are aware when we are down. That is energy moving in us. 

I remember what the Tai Chi Master taught us in those early classes I took in the 90's. He suggested that we rub our hands together and slowly pull the palms a part...what we experience in the palms is the vibration of energy. The palms are holders and distributers of "Chi" (what energy is called in this practice) and the position of the hand is a very important part of it. Of course, Tai Chi is a martial art and every position of the hand/palm is either a defensive (retreat and protect) or offensive move ( strike) but it is not a "resistance" or "fight against the opponent" art.  It involves a balancing, relaxing, harmonizing and working with ...not against...the energy of the opponent (the energy of Life). There is no resistance in Tai Chi. There is an openness to the energy the opponent is expressing towards us...and Tai Chi is a means of absorbing, using, and letting go of that energy as well as our own.  It is a passsing on of a relaxed and calm Chi from us. Hmm! 

Tai Chi offers a wonderful analogy for life and dealing with reality. Handle what is coming at you. Relax first...get yourself balanced...lean this way gently, gracefully, purposefully, slowly...pause...lean this way gently, gracefully, purposefully, slowly.  Stay open . Allow the energy to flow from the other, from Life...and allow it to harmonize with the energy in you. It becomes a dance.  Watch a  true master doing a practice and see how beautiful and graceful of a dance it is. You can see the "flow" in the soft and subtle movements. It is absolutely beautiful. 

Using the energy  that is always there within us and outside of us as we process through Life can be  a beautiful dance. That is why I am coming back to Tai Chi.  I want to "feel" and experience Chi (Shakti, Prana). I want to dance with the energy of Life.

We all need to start letting go of the stuff we tend to store inside us that blocks this energy flow...and this tendency we have to tense up and resist Life so we learn to stay open...not just when we are practicing Tai Chi but in whatever we do.

All is well. 

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe (n.d) Extra Talks: Working With Your Inner Energy Flow.https://tou.org/talk-archive/

The Omnipresent and Immortal Soul

 You were never born, and you will never die. What is this birth and death that we see around us? This belongs to the body only, because the soul is omnipresent.

Vivekanada

Michael A. Singer shared that same sentiment in the Mayim's Breakdown Podcast I now love to listen to. This is what a yogi sees...no birth, no death...A yogie sees the soul or Self beyond the body and mind. Hmm!

All is well

Dr. Mayim Bialik (January 6, 2025) Michael Singer: Why We Never Truly Die.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uk6vudReNC8&t=9s

Swami Vivekanada (n.d.) Chapter 2.5.12 Immortality. Complete Works. Kindle Edition

Inside

 

Passion is divine energy wanting to express itself.  Energy is blocked. Passion is very holy.  It is actually saying, "I want that shakti!" 

You do not need a spiritual practice. You are a great spiritual being...you are beautiful ...you are  filled with shakti.

The outside world has its nature. [And the inside world has its as well...independent of the outside.]

All is well!

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True. ( January 5, 2025) Spirituality Beyond Rules: Transmuting passion into Divine Flow.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RszOb0bH9g8

A New Practice

 They say whoever practices Tai Chi correctly and regularly, twice a day, over a period of time will gain the pliability of a child, the health of a lumber jack, and the peace of mind of a sage.

I started practicing Tai Chi again. Years ago I joined a class program on Tai Chi Chaun...the long form (108 postures). I had most of them down pat by the time I finished.  But I did not, by any means, master the essence of this sport. I was a very outcome focused person then...intent on mastering skills especially where it came to physical fitness. My approach to Tai Chi now is much different.  My goal is more on that which I deemed as "woo-woo" back then...the flow of Chi and wu-wei...which is the basic element of all martial arts ( and yes Tai Chi is a martial art...a beautiful dancing flow of effortless protection and defense). Though I am intent on learning all 24 moves of the short form ( Yang style...this time) I am embracing the learning of each form...one move at a time...and expereincing the delicate , often unseen, steps that exist in each individual posture. I spent hours yesterday on learning/re-learning the first three postures: Commencement, Parting the Horse's Mane, and White Crane Spreads Its Wings...and I will add a couple of new moves a day...until I am able to perform  all 24 in a beautiful flow. I don't care how long it takes to learn them all...I will focus only on each daily practice as if it was to be my only practice. 

I remember being told when I first joined up for the Tai Chi class in the 90's that it would take years to learn all poses and to be able to put them together.  I scoffed a bit at the teacher thinking, "He doesn't know how determined I am...I will learn this flow in six months." I did but I really didn't "learn" anything...other than how to move the body. Sigh!

This time I am determined to do it slowly and to learn to "feel" the Chi moving through my body without effort or resistance. Sigh! 

There is only one thing we must do to gain the marvelous benefits of Tai Chi...and that is to practice.

All is well! 

Wu Wei, Paradox, and Creating a Zen-like Environment that Honors Space and Solitude

 [Wu Wei= non-interference with nature, with "what is"]...but it means , not taking the line of least resistance but finding out the grain of the situation and going with it.  And this whole philosophy of nature, as man as an integral part of nature, not seperated from it and dominating it, but in it and moving with it, his intelligence representing the same force that moves in mountains, and stars, and plants and trees, is to build works of art that are at the same time works of nature, rather than works of artificiality.

Alan Watts

Am I moving with nature or am I still trying to stand out against nature?

It isn't that I am trying to create a "work of art" in this little environment but I am trying to work with nature and my own need for space and solitude. In this tiny cramped place it is challenging not to give into the western need for distracting clutter. Though I have purged about 80 percent of "my stuff" to fit into this space...the 20 percent I bring with me does not make this home look like a "zen" home...let me tell ya.  That's okay...it doesn't have to be.  I am afterall a conditioned westerner...who believes at some subconscious level that as a human...my creations are meant to stand out in contrast to nature... to express "my personality".  Sigh! There is still a personality here that wants to be seen and recognized. I am working on it. There is obviously much more evolving to do.lol

...when you forget about your personality and you become interested in something else, that you become interesting to other people. So, in the same way when you learn to love solitude that, paradoxically, it may seem you're better able to get on with others...the paradox or backwards law....contrary things come from actions, unexpected things...When you would be strong, very often the best course is to be weak. When you would be powerful, the best course is often to withdraw.

I need to follow the principle of wu wei. I need to cultivate a Zen garden inside me...not outside me...one where there is emptiness and space.

...all things come out of emptiness...emptiness is created...nothing is more fertile than emptiness..

All is well!

Alan Watts/Simple Art-Inspire (December, 2025) Don't force Life- Alan WAtts of Wu Wei, Zen Gardens, and Solitude. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahW5Qr6ADKI

On Meditation

To get in touch with reality there is the art of meditation...concerned only with what is...reality...nothing else...so don't seek or expect a result from what you are doing...simply be here...get to the naked reality of what is

Alan Watts

I am hoping to begin a more serious meditation practice while here...well not "serious"...more committed to accepting whatever arises as I sit in stillness. I just need to sit...which because of everything we have been doing in the last month...I neglected doing.  Was so busy "doing" I neglected settling into "being". Hmm! I want to return to my practice...the most important practice I have in this Life. 

All is well! 

Alan Watts (1973) Final Radio Interview 1973: A Cosmic Conversation on Life as Play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9QVzSFh_ZQ

"Happy New Year" for a Happy Year

 As we wish each other a Happy New Year, let us determine to be more compassionate, warm-hearted human beings, trying to make our world a more equal place. That way, we'll actually make it a happy year.

The Dalai Lama

I love the Holiness' message. The most important thing, I believe, we can offer each other this year is our peace and gentleness through our compassion. Our goal should be to make the world an "equal place." It starts with making our own minds and hearts peaceful and gentle. 

Happy New Year...from my intention of a peaceful and gentle heart to yours.

Actually ...the coming year...whether it becomes a happy year or miserable year depends on us.

All is well.

Dalai Lama/Tibetan Doon Boy ( January 1, 2026) His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama New Year 2026 Message. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tatpboFpSag&t=21s