Truth is Impersonal

 That man alone can live in this world, he alone can say, "I enjoy this life, and I am happy in this life", who has seen the Truth, and the Truth in everything. 

Vivekananda, Complete Works, 2.6 Practical Vedanta and other Lectures

What is truth? 

It means recognizing neither good or bad, but knowing all as coming from the Self; Self is in everything. It means denying the universe; shutting your eyes to it; seeing the Lord in hell as well as in heaven; seeing the Lord in death as well as in Life....the earth is a symbol of the Lord, the sky is the Lord, the place we fill is the Lord, everything is Brahman. And this is to be seen, realized, not simply talked about or thought about....Neither good nor bad, neither life nor death-only the one infinite Brahman exists.

As Michael Singer would say, we are so busy focusing on the nontruths...what we created in terms of thought and identy as a little me that we do not see Truth.  We do not see God. We do not see Self.  If we would simply turn away and around from this very personalized thought stream what we are staring at and identifying as, we would see what is here and always was....the Impersonal. 

We are so busy creating more thoughts about our thoughts so we can be screwed up about our thoughts.

 We created an ego and a drama for ego but that is not truth.  It is all just thought.  As long as we personalize life we are not seeing Life.  As long as there is a focus on 'self', we are not seeing Self.  We even personalized Something so great, thinking it into a tiny personalized form. 

The impersonal God is a living God, a principle. The difference between personal and impersoanl is this, that the personal is only a man, and the impersonal idea is that. He is the angel, the man, the animal, and yet, something more which we cannot see, because impersonality includes all personalities, is the sum total of everything in the universe, and infinitely more besides. "As the one fire coming into the world is manifesting itself in so many forms, and yet is infinitely more besides', so is the impersonal. 

Truth is impersonal. Can you handle that? 

The soul is perfect it is just getting identified with something that isn't.Singer

Michael A. Singer (November 4, 2024) Finding Peace Through Truth and Acceptance.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1il3fkITR8&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Swami Vivekananda (n.d.) The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda. 2.6 Practical Vednanta and Other Lectures. Kindle Edition

Acceptance of Truth

 

The truth is it is not about me because there is no 'me'...there is just consciousness interacting with reality.

A real being is in the present moment serving it without needing anything from it. ...(paraphrased)

Michael A. Singer

This is the question I pulled out of the jar yesterday before I listened to this talk this morning or even seen the title. It is so funny how this works.

All is well

Michael A. Singer (Novemeber 4, 2024) Finding Peace Through Truth and Acceptance.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1il3fkITR8&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

From Self to self?

 

You are the very structure and fabric of Existence.

Alan Watts

I have been feeling this knot in the center of my abdomen since I returned from my trip away (actually, it was there before I even left) that is aggravated and amplified by the thought of having to deal with the reality that surrounds me. I knew what I was coming home to and I didn't want to come home to it.  

Though I go through the motions of 'being there' for others and though I have even taken on more 'being there' roles since my return...I am not really here for others. This knot says pull back and I do. I am hovering over reality in some self-protective hover craft. I am not sure if  I am protecting self or Self but I am resisting the pull into other people's dramas big time. 

Some people are not noticing my lack of involvement because they have come up out of their darkness to some extent when I wasn't there...and have since then, because of getting the external help they needed, become independently hopeful again!!!!  (So grateful and that tells me about how little  I am needed...and that maybe I am even in the way of people getting better.  I am at this point...more than okay with that...I will gladly step completely away etc.  I actually want to step completely away. I just need something to step away into.  My hover craft is only temporary lol) 

Yet, there are others who tell me they are waiting with their wagonload of issues for me to come back to them. They are respectfully patient as I, with gut knot twisting inside me,  say, "I do not have it in me now".  They tell me they understand but then they kindly remind me that they need me and they let me know that if I don't 'help them' soon, something bad is going to happen. 

In my mind I am thinking, "Sorry but I got nothing left.  I am done.  I am just a walking carcass here...can't you see? I do not seem to have anything left for anyone, least of all me. I don't know if  this person you are looking for will ever be back." I don't tell them that but I know they are sensing it.

In psychology terms, what I am experiencing would likely be deemed as 'caregiver' burn out. That makes sense, of course,  but I do not tend to think just in psychology terms anymore, do I? There is, something tells me,  a big transition going on inside me that I do not completely understand.  It suprises me that this transition involves the protection of my ego identity as a 'me', or little self. My practice to date was all about dissolving this 'me' and serving others...now I have this inner voice  (this knot of resistance that gets loud when others ask me to go down with them into their pain) that says 'protect self, serve self'. 

Serve self?  

That blows me away.  I thought I was supposed to serve Self...which would mean everyone and renounce self. Now I am hearing and feeling, I need to nurture and protect this self so the Self can grow. 

Huh?

I suppose I have spent the last 30 years almost meeting the needs of my children or at least attempting to. What types of need was I meeting? Physical, for sure. Emotional and mental and some spiritual.  I guess, I have spent most of my life meeting their 'ego' needs and not enough time meeting their spiritual.  On the other side of that coin, though I have devoted the last few years of my life attempting to meet my spiritual needs, I have not been meeting my own physical, emotional, and mental needs. My own approach was contradictory. Spiritual needs are the most important-true- but there I was expending my own limited physical, mental and emotional energy to serve their egoes, not to help their souls to grow. How much could my soul grow in that mixed messaging?  How much could my higher Self grow if I was constantly trampling down self?

So though in Self is where I want to be, do I need to take care of that self that exists above It before I can let it go, before I can truly fall back into Self? Is that what this knot is all about?  I think so.

I need balance. My service needs to be more balanced.  I am, as a self and as a Self, a part of that which I need to serve. I am, afterall, the very structure and fabric of existence. Hmm!

That is quite a realization. 

All is well.

Signs and Wonders?

 Unless you see signs and wonders, you will not believe.

John 4: 48 ESV

Life is your spiritual practice. Can you handle it?

Michael A. Singer

Two thought streams are flowing through my mind now, as you can tell by the two above quotes.

One thought stream is centered around the need for miracles in order to prove to us that the invisible and often intangible essence of Life, known sometimes as Spirit, is real and the other thought stream is about taking our daily practice out of the mystical and etheral and putting it in the physical stuff we deal with everyday. Two entirely different thought streams or are they? Can they verge into one understanding? Hmm!

The need for miracles?

I seek miracles. Do you?  I am often looking for signs and wonders to support that there is something out there beyond what the five senses can pick up. I want more proof about the existence of the non- physical realm. What can I say?  I have a mind that gravitates toward empirical knowledge and evidence. I want to believe so badly in those that say "I talk to dead people" or "I can talk to angels and spirit guides." or "I was dead and this is what I saw."  I want these individuals  to prove to me that they have done or can do as they claim.  Have they to date? Do I believe them? 

I listen to all with a certain amount of hope laden skepticism. I won't believe just because I want to believe.  I am more likely to believe those sharing their NDE's because it makes sense to my scientific mind that consciousness does go on after body function ceases, that it reincarnates into other physical forms. I listen to some NDEers and I feel a resounding "Yes!" in my core, "This really happened to them or at least they truly believe it did."  I listen to others and hear within me, "They are making this up for ego reasons."  So I go back and forth. Still, I believe without emperical evidence that consciousness is not limited to this body.

If I can believe that consciousness is not bound by body...why wouldn't I believe in psychic, telepathic, and telekinetic abilities? The new division in physics (quantum mechanics) is proving all kinds of things that can support this on some level. I am also a want to be yogi. Yoga teaches about the Cittis...those abilities that can be gained by certain forms of Samadhi that most of us, non enlightened, would call magical.  Ram Dass shared in a podcast I recently listened to (and I am sorry I lost the link) about the abilities of his guru. Do I believe then? I still need more evidence to quench this science thing in me.

I find myself drawn to listening to and watching psychics...the famous ones...and I always walk away disappointed.  I want to believe so badly that they are legitimately reading others, I do...but as I watch I see cold reading, general and vague offerings that they then build upon based on the response of their clients (and the clients so want to believe they tend to jump on these vague things that could apply to many and see them as specifics). Even when I am watching I am saying "Wow! The client sees it as bang on!" until the client eloborates more and you realize just how their response only vaguely applies to what was offered and that hope makes it seem like so much more.  I always feel sad after I watch these things. If I were spirit and I wanted to make sure someone knew I was watching them I think I would be a lot more specific in the messages I relayed. I wouldn't just say, "Do you have something that belongs to that person?" I would get the psychic medium to say"That gold ring with the blue sapphire in the top drawer of your nightstand." Yeah...I don't have much faith in the psychics that exploit themselves on TV.  or who make a lot of money doing what they are doing.

That doesn't mean I do not believe psychics are real.  It is the fairly unknown ones that exist in obscurity...that you find out about by word of mouth, that are not flashy or promoting their gift...they are the ones I am drawn to. They do not even seem happy with what they are doing but feel compelled to do so. I would like to sit down face to face with one of them. I think I would be able to "feel" if their gifts are real or not. Hmm! 

And I am looking for signs and wonders all the time.  I even find them.  I would like to believe that there is something I cannot see surrounding me, supporting me...taking me to where I need to be spiritually.

Life as a spiritual practice

I do believe that my practice is more about how I handle everyday life than it is about what spirit shows me through signs and wonders, or during meditation. I want to be the deepest part of Self but I know I need to work my way through the little self to get there. The little self is still entrenched in my secular life. 

You get to the state where you realize your secular life is not different from the spiritual life...

you have to learn to use what is going on for your spiritual growth.

I still meditate.  I still listen to great masters of wisdom; I still read anything I can get my hand on related to spiritual growth but I know now...what I encounter out there in the physical world is my biggest learning challenge.

Real Life and meditation feed each other...they are the same...they are your path

I know I am not just this body and personality. I am this spirit more than anything. And it is its growth that I am here to support. 

My entire Life is about my spiritual growth. This[whatever unfolds in front of me] will help me go to God."

What do I do when something challenging shows up?  A wise person says, "First, calm down.  Ask if there is anything I can do to stop this from coming/changing this?"  ( serenity prayer). Can I handle the fact that I can't do anything about this happening or having already happened (reality)? If not, I must  surrender to reality. I must accept. 

Surrender is not about doing or not doing...it is about surrendering and accepting reality...surrender the part of you that cannot handle reality.

Then, the person truly on a spiritual mission, even when there are no signs and wonders, asks, "Is there something I am supposed to be doing to assist the moment that is going to happen whether I like it or not. How can I serve this moment regardless of what the lower part of me feels about it?"

And here is where the two thought streams come together.

Michael Singer reminds us that when we surrender to what is, the forces that are will call upon us to respond and they will guide our actions.

Everything guides the unfolding of a surrendered being

I want to be a surrendered being first and then I will embarce, without attachment, any signs or wonders that come my way. 

All is well!

There have been others: Eckhart Tolle and Ram Dass who inspired this entry but I failed to jot down those links...my bad.

Michael A. Singer (October, 2024) Turning Daily Life into a Spiritual Practice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEpEqUVOKYI&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=4

Pulling Away from Ego

 How do I get done [of ego's pull]? 

By going through the experiences Life puts you through.

As I have been writing about observing my own ego at work in challenging moments, of seeing its pull, noticing my habit tendency of moving towards this pull...and knowing that I no longer want to go where it is taking me...I discover that Michael A. Singer's podcsts are serendipitously going in that same direction. Go figure.

I want to be done with ego. Not like in a 'breakup because you suck'  way but in an "I don't need to listen to you or follow your dramatic directions anymore" way. My goal or motive ( I guess I still have a motive...my bad) is to be peaceful in each moment no matter what Life offers me, not needing or wanting to change what unfolds in any way. 

Singer reminds us that even when we feel we are done with ego, ego is not done with us. Ego with its concern about the opinion of other people, its need to be recognized and accepted; its fears and worries;  its nagging need to control and manipulate the outside world so it feels okay inside; and all its defenses and attacks is just doing what it does. It is simply being an ego.  And it isn't going anywhere.  It doesn't have to.  

When we are in an unhealthy relationship and reach the point that we no longer want this relationship to continue as it is because we do not like the  way we are feeling and behaving in it...it is not up to the other person to leave or change. It is up to us to own what we have been doing and walk away. 

How do you walk away from someting that is a part of you, crazy lady?

First of all, ego is not a part of us...it isn't even real.  But we have created a deeply rooted mental construct and as long as we are seeing ourselves as "I's" and "mes", ego will seem like a part of us.  So, you are right, we cannot completely detach from it.  

So, what do we do then?

Let's just say you were having a long term live-in relationship with someone who had a very needy,  overdramatic personality. You came to terms with how unhealthy the relationship was...how unhealthy and unhappy you were in it; that you had spent all your years together serving this other person and putting great effort into meeting all their 'unwholesome' needs. Doing so never gave you what you truly wanted and needed at the deepest level.  In this realization, though you would leave, there is no other place for you to live or go. You have to stay in the same apartment with them. What would you do then?  

You would likely create some space between you and the other....some distance. Maybe, you would move into the spare room.  You would not continue to fight or struggle against this person nor would you believe all their manipulations and reasons for their emotional outbursts.  Doing either would jsut create more messy drama. You would recognize the drama and watch it cooly, from a distance, without getting pulled into it. You would recognize how easy it is to get pulled into it and be a bit more vigalent. You wouldn't blame the other person  for pulling you in when you got caught up in it, forgetting once again who you are...and they will seem to keep pulling you in for a while.....you would see how it was you that slipped when you do and take accountability for it.  All the while, you would recognize and accept this is just the way this person is, not asking or needing them to change, remaining cordial and kind if not overly affectionate as you observe and interact with them. You would know they are not you and they are just doing what they know to do.

Your room mate is going to continue doing what they are doing. The weather inside that apartment might be a bit challenging. Some days they will blow fire, other days snow.  Somedays it is like they filled the rooms with a soft May breeze, other days it will be a tail end of a hurricane...but you will just retreat to your own room when things get nasty in here and spend your time working on you. All the energy and effort you once spent on appeasing your partner who never seemed to be appeased...will now be spent on serving Life and whatever moment it offers you. You will be learning to just relax, and let go, and be peaceful with the inner weather; whatever this room mate does; and whatever Life gives you. Less and less, will you get pulled in by the ego's antics.  This room mate's voice will become meeker and meeker the more you pull back away from it and eventually you won't hear them at all. You will look around the apartment you shared one day to discover they were no longer there.  

Now, that is being done with the ego. 

We do not have to fight ego or struggle against ego.  We do not have to fight the moment Life gives us because the ego doesn't like it. We just need to move a bit away from ego and make it a point to do our best not to get pulled into its drama. We do not have to leave.  Ego will leave on its own when soul is ready to let go.

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Sounds True/ Temple of the Universe ( October 31, 2024) The Art of Being Done. A Life Without teh Struggle of Ego. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXclQgF2g4o&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=2

Reminders of Truth from a Book

 For you are He, the Omnipresent God Almighty, the Soul of your souls, and if I say you are not, I tell an untruth. I know it, whether at all times I realize it or not. He is the Oneness, the Unity of all, the Reality of all life and all existence. 

Vivekananda, Complete Works: 2.6 Practical Vedanta and Other Lectures

I almost cry when I read that. It hits something I already know inside me. So, as I struggle with the age old question:  Why? Why is Life so challenging at times?...this small passage reminds me of what I already know somewhere in my core.  It is all in perfect order.

This book is teaching me so much.

How do you know that a book teaches truth? Because you are truth and feel it.

Vivekananda, as above. 

All is well.