Stop Resisting

There are certain states of mind that bring us problems, and they can be removed; we need to make an effort in that direction.  Likewise, there are certain states of mind that bring us peace and happiness, and we need to cultivate and enhance them.
Dalai Lama

Good Ol' Dalai Lama echoes what is on my mind again.  I open up to a calendar page from my desk calendar once again to find his words reflecting what we have been talking about.

There are parts of our old tired minds that are giving us grief.  We need to learn to let those parts, that have a tendency to cling and resist, go.  We also experience, from time to time, the peace and happiness that comes from an open, accepting and clear mind.  That is the state we want to work on enhancing.

Okay so we have a job, a purpose, a goal and a mission in life.: To create a peaceful state in the mind.  That needs to be our spiritual practice and our daily life practice if we want more inner peace and more peace in the world.

Removing What we Don't Want

We need to remove that state of mind that creates problems for us.

What part of the mind is that?

It is the ego part (well Singer never uses the word ego). It is the part of the mind that tells us that we are not enough and the only way to be enough is to build up a psyche based on what can be found out there. It is the part of us that says we are separate and alone in a dangerous world and the only way to survive is to build a protective fortress around ourselves, to defend and attack. It is the part that tells us that we are lacking and incomplete and the only way we will be ever "okay" is if make everything out there okay.


What do we experience when this problematic state is in charge? 

Stress.  We experience stress. We experience an never ending need to do, to fix, to control, to prevent. We experience anxiety and fear and if that is sustained over a period of time, we experience burn out and depression.  We then experience darkness and a lack of energy flowing through us. Yuck! This is a state of mind  we don't want, right?  But what cause it?

The Problem With Resistance

We feel this inner sense of turmoil when we close our hearts to Life.  Somewhere along the way we began to say no to certain parts of Life.  Instead of allowing all Life events to just pass through us like clouds...we clung to some and we resisted others. When we resisted certain "events" we stuffed a lot of impressions and a lot of pain. 

We now have all that energy whirling around inside us, creating turmoil, choking us off, and creating little space for the healing and life enhancing energy of Shakti to flow through.

The real problem with the mind then is its tendency to resist that which it decided it didn't want. It is not the life event that effects the mind and causes stress.... though we tend to point fingers of blame at what life throws our way.  It is our tendency to assert our powerful will power against the life event that leads to stress.

We say "No" to certain events we think will make us uncomfortable or activate old pain.  We refuse to allow them to pass through us.  They enter our conscious awareness but they don't pass through.  The energy of them gets stuck inside us.

Saying No to Past and Future

We tend to use this will to resist one of two things.  We use it to resist that which already happened. We refuse to allow painful memories to pass through us because we did not want to deal with the pain when it first arose nor do we want to deal with it now. "I am saying no to the pain of rejection right now, because it will trigger some old childhood pain in me and I don't want that to come back up." It takes a great deal of mental energy to keep old pain down, keep your wounded areas protected  and to push new pain away.

We also use our will to resist what might happen in the future. If you fear rejection you will always be hypervigilant and on guard to prevent it.  You have to tell yourself all kinds of stories, make all kinds of rationalizations and excuses and put a lot of effort into trying to control yourself and the world around you so that you never experience the sting of rejection again.  The mind just has to work overtime to do that.

The Fruitlessness of Resistance

We can resist until we are blue in the face, but we can never change the events.  What happened in the past cannot be undone and what happens in the future we cannot control. Life is going to happen the way life happens.  Life is going to do what Life does.  Life is going to be Life. Our resistance of it is, not only draining and crazy making, but it is a fruitless effort. 

I guarantee that no matter how hard you try ...that old rejection pain will resurface; no matter how hard you plot, scheme and manipulate...you will experience an event of rejection in the future.   In fact, Life is going to throw rejection at you because it wants you to grow. 

The only way to grow is not through resistance but through relaxing and releasing into your discomfort.

Deal With It!

Avoiding and resisting discomfort is not the answer to a peaceful Life.  If you truly want to take the healing path, you must realize that truth.

You need to deal! Deal with what?  You need to deal with whatever shows up in your moment. You need to deal with the beautiful flow of events that Life provides as a gift.

How?

 First you need to accept what shows up before you.  Life is not out "to get you."  When Life offers you challenges it does so with an intention of helping you to grow and expand beyond your limiting comfort zones. Once you see this and accept this, then relax into it.  Finally, release it.  If  you do not cling to it or struggle against it...the event and it's energy will pass through you, as it is meant to do.

Once your mind is clear of all your resistance, energy can flow. This energy will take you to a higher place, one that is not bogged down by stress. From there, you will simply have an event to deal with.

One should view their spiritual work as learning to live life without stress, problems, fear or melodrama. This path of using life to evolve spiritually is truly the highest path.  There really is no reason for tension or problems.  Stress only happens when you resist life's events.  If you're neither pushing life away, nor pulling it toward you, then you are not creating resistance.  You are simply present.  In this state, you are just witnessing and experiencing the events of life taking place.  If you chose to live this way, you will see that life can be lived in a state of peace. (Singer, page 149)

All is well.

Michael Singer (2007) the untethered soul. New Harbinger.