Opening the Eyes Slowly

 

Anyone who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eyes are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light.

Plato, The Allegory of the Cave

Why are we not estatic all the time, feeling the flow of what is known as "Shakti" in our lives, feeling joy and peace and bliss, absolutely loving it all? Ancient eastern traditions teach that this is our birth right...to experience. Yet, most of us experience life through a very narrow and very "personal"  lens. We do not see the whole picture, the Truth, and full reality through this lens.  Our lives and our sense of reality are so small and narrow. 

Could it be that our opening and closing reaction to what Life throws our way is a protective mechanism the mind uses to keep us from exploding. Maybe Truth and reality, are at this point, too big and blinding for us? 

Huh?  Singer tells us we are "programmed" into selective reactivity/resistance by the experiences of our lives. We are conditioned, then, to close according to personal preferences. That's part of it. The other part is we are so lost in these false ideas of who we think we are as seperate little beings at the mercy of all going on around us that we don't see the whole picture.

We Don't See the Whole Picture?

Why don't we see the whole picture! Why don't we and why did the mind decide to open and close to the tiny bit we are experiencing?  

The mind may be actually trying to do us a favor. Neuroscientists, like Don Hoffman, tell us we close to so much of our reality because we might not, as humans, be able to handle it while in human form. 

We, according to many, are chained to a false projection of who we think we are in a world taht seems so real but is actually only a simulation or projection. Its a misperception. We perceive being limited and seperate beings judging reality to be only what shows up as matter in front of us  ...like those who were chained in the cave of  Plato's allegory and seeing reality as the shadows being cast on the wall before them. In a modern take on this allegory, Hoffman says, in truth, we are all one consciousness wearing different  headsets in some virtual reality. The sense of a seperate body comes from the virtual reality headset we wear. Each unique sensory system in each  body is the VR headset we wear. What we perceive through each unique  headset becomes our reality. We get so lost in it...we believe it to be all of it. We see the body we are moving around in as the Avatar. We are "chained" to these avatar bodies believing them to be who we are.  We believe the information we pick up with these limited sensory headsets is all there is to reality. There is, however, so,so much more to Truth than this simulation, these shadows we are perceiving. Hoffman's theory goes a bit beyond "The Simulation Theory" many physicists are proposing. 

The point I want to make here...regardless of what theory you agree with...is that we can only perceive what we can handle.  Reality is too expansive ...too grand to know it all through these human brains.  The brain can only allow so much truth in. The body can only handle so much "shakti" at a time. So as long as we are in this body, the sense limitations and the selective preferring protect us from seeing too much, perceiving too much .  There had to be a narrowing of the reality projection that comes through our sensory headsets, a filter. 

Protection?

We close to protect the avatar and its headset maybe? The neurological parts of the body are protecting us through this closing. Of course, the mind is not the brain...it is beyond the brain...and the brain and its sensory system is just a virtual reality system...There is a deeper reality beyond the VR system that is responsible for the VR system. The ancient rishis who truly experienced this free flow of shakti...experienced this reality at a deeper level...without the headset.  The headset can be removed and we can experience all of reality with this free flow of shakti pouring through us. Some consciousness researchers like Hoffman are trying to come up with a scientific approach of removing the headset. 

But...just like getting re-exposed to the brilliant light of the sun after years of being trapped in a dark cave...we have to gradually reacclimate ourselves to the energy we long denied. 

When the headset is removed, we see everything clearly, there are no more veils of protection, and we have a free flow of shakti. The rishis called it "liberation" and believed that practice and meditation could help us to remove the evil so we can reexperience the light gradually over a long process. I have heard many warnings when I first started practicing yoga to be careful...Someone said, "You do not want to wake up too fast! It could be dangerous to have this shakti flowing through in a fast moving torrent all at once. It is like an intense electric current that we might not be grounded enough to handle. You. also, might not be able to handle all of reality all at once.  It might blow your mind. So, open your eyes slowly." 

I often think of those prisoners being unchained from the cave in Plato's allegory.  They are taken out side into the sun after years of darkness and are forced to see the brilliance of the sun. Without preparation this "going into the light" can actually be blinding. 

We can remove the headsets during this life time. We do need to release and let go of the samskaras blocking this shakti flow.  But it is a process.  We do need to be careful!

Let's look to both science and spirituality to guide us into a more gradual and gentle way of opening the eyes of awareness, to an expanded reality, and to Truth. 

Hmm! Anyway, how I ramble. 

Mayim Bailik's Breakdowm( November, 2025) Everything You See is a Lie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OebT03UQWls

Michael Singer/ Temple of the Universe/Sounds True (November, 2025) Unconditional Well Being  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z35gmZRp9A&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Loving Self

 Love yourself as if your Life depends on it, because it does.

Anita Moorjani

I am starting to see more and more how important it is to love ourselves as we are now...to see beyond the broken personality and the ailing body, which are both  a result of a lack of awareness and purposeful self-love,  to the unwounded soul which is Love. Hmmm!

All is well

Learning From Others

 The key to becoming a master [at anything] is to take what is necessary from others, use it to identify your own natural talent or skill, and then create something equally effective, but is hoped with much greater simplicity and grace. 

Joseph McMoneagle

Knowing...in a Blink of an Eye

 To be in the sense means to know, and to know is to add energy to energy, life to life, love to love. Such is the way of the universe.

Michael Random

This was a passage from the opening quote in Joseph McMoneagle's book, Remote Viewing Secrets, which I have somehow been led to read. One idea about understanding consciousness as the primordial field that underlies everything and no-thing...led to another...and another...and here I am contemplating something as "woo-woo" as remote viewing. If I wasn't a believer in this primordial field before, I am believing now. I think my own personal practice may just lead me to a certain "knowing."

In the list of requirements needed to practice such a "woo-woo thing" McMoneagle states:

Finally, a continued and balanced pursuit of the truth will be required. You must, above all else, sustain your ability to think critically, to ask questions, to maintain a healthy skepticism, and to walk the centerline of acceptable reality....The distance between knowing something to be true, and believing it, can be measured in less than a blink of an eye.

That is all I will say ...for now at least.

Joseph McMoneagle (2000) Remote Viewing Secrets. Crossroads Press.

Healing from Samskaras

 I will stay with it and endure through suffering and hardship and once the heaving sea has shaken my raft to pieces, then I will swim.

Homer (The Odyssey)

I do not understand the Google analytics: Such high numbers from all over the world noted as "engaged sessions" but when one checks the engagement time...they see 0 seconds. How can they be called engaged sessions when they are only on for a second.  When I check the posts of what was read over the course of the last 24 hours, I see far less numbers:  4, say on one post, 2 on another...and that seems more realistic.  Is it? The writer in me that naturally seeks a reader to complete the cycle...would be happy with those numbers on the post page ...very happy. The human in me, who still doesn't trust the universe as much as she wants to ...is worrying over why she is getting such high numbers on Google analytics.  Why are these high numbers with little to no engagement registering on a site that is suppose to eliminate that noise?  What do these bots or whatever they are want? Can they do damage in one way or another? What would they get from coming to this site?  This IT impaired mind just doesn't understand it. When I do not fully understand something...I am left with an uncomfortable feeling that drives me to know more. :) 

Regardless, I keep writing. I keep doing my thing. 

Anyway....

I have been thinking and talking about Samskaras alot and see purifying from them as the truest form of healing and liberation.  That sounds so woo-woo when I say it like that, because of the selected terminology I use. 

I can change how I phrase that to:  I am thinking about psychological healing by examining how we have  repressed and suppressed (stuffed and stored)  painful memories from our past in our subconscious forming unhealthy beliefs, and how those core beliefs and trapped emotional energies can haunt us through out our lives . Running from them by pushing them down, numbing from them with substances, avoiding triggers etc doesn't work. We need to heal by understanding what we have hidden away inside us and letting it go- that means being willing to face the pain we stuffed and stored. Without this painful barrier in the way we will be free to experience life fully and joyfully. 

Does that sound any better? 

However we put it...so, so many of us need to heal. I use the terms and methods of yoga, you may use the terms and methods offered by psychotherapy ...but they are all referring to the same thing! We need to heal so we can live the lives we are meant to live. 

Anyway, I watched a documentary on Netflix last night about an alternative form of PTSD treatment for veternan Navy Seals: a combination of psychodelics: Ibogaine which is used to open up a person to what they have supressed and repressed and then 5-MeO-DMT to open them up to higher consciousness.  One exposes and brings the samskaras to the surface of awareness; the other opens them up to a way of viewing Life without them ( liberation...in the yogic view). It was pretty cool to watch these big rigid men who have been conditioned to hide all emotion and to adamantly resist such "hippy nonsense" go through the process of purification: facing and healing from their samskaras. 

Plant therapy might offer humans  a quick means to purify. Regardless if we seen combat or not, most of us have some childhood trauma stuffed within us that is coloring the way we process through life as adults.  For many, it is holding us back from experiencing what we could be experiencing.  Infact, despite what these Seals have experienced on the battlefront...the Ibogaine carrying plants took them beyond that to show them the real traumas they needed to heal from which, occured when they were children. Hmm!

The transformation these suicidal vets underwent were remarkable. They discovered a joy in Life they never had since they were children. Imagine, having that!

I am using yoga to purify and heal from my samskaras.  It is a slow and somewhat painful process. Sometimes, I say to myself, "It would be nice to accelerate this process, just blast these samskaras up to the surface, deal with them and be done." I considered plant medicine. I have. Yet, here I am still going the slow and painful route. Why? Besides being somewhat terrified of having to face head on and all at once what I have stuffed in here, I am actually enjoying the learning process the slow route offers. 

Sigh ! I don't know. Maybe someday I will change my mind and go the plant therapy route. Who knows.  For now, it is important that we all recognize the need to heal, cleanse, purify ( whatever word you choose to use to describe this process) and begin doing so.

All is well. 

Bonnie Cohen & John Shenk's (2024) In Waves and War. Neflix

The Shame, Heaven, and Added-Ons of Writing and Serving

 

If the book is true, it will find an audience that is meant to read it.

Wally Lamb

I just finished a five day stent of work, revisiting the work and the students I dealt with last year. It was lovely!  Physically exhausting...I have not worked full days, let alone so many in a row,  for eons...and my heart, I have been noticing, is just a bit more off than it was last year. So...yeah it was a challenge but a challenge I embraced.

 When I left last year, I was contemplating whether or not this human I call "me"  made a difference in the learning or in the lives of these newcomer students. When I received the many hugs I received on my return, I thought , maybe I did, just a bit anyway. Maybe this need to serve and make a difference was met to some degree at least. I question, however, if ego was stepping in the way of true service. 

Ego, Service, and the Written Book

The same with the books I have written. Copies of the book I wrote for newcomer parents are boxed and collecting dust.  I sent copies to where I thought it might be needed, gave a copy to the people I mentioned in the dedication, and I did tutorials and read alongs on a youtube channel...I did all that type of work ( it was a lot)...but I did not promote the book. Why?

Detached from Outcome?

 From the beginning, I did my best to detach myself from outcome. I spent a great deal of human effort, time, and money from this book's inception to its conception. I truly enjoyed doing that! I really did enjoy the process. I knew the process was intended for others, more so than "me" but I did not get it out there. When I first came up with this idea, I said, if it becomes something people want and can use...wonderful; if it doesn't, at least I will enjoy the process of creating.  And I did. I truly enjoyed the process...all of it.  It filled me with a meaningful and purposeful distraction and direction.  Selfishly, it also helped "me" to learn what I felt I needed to learn to do my job. 

I suppose though that getting what we finished out there so it can be seen, heard, or in this case used...is also part of the process of creating. Maybe, promoting this book was part of that? I did not do much in that area. I have never felt comfortable promoting myself and my so called creations.  Maybe, I would have promoted it more, but  Ego had stepped in, as it sometimes does, to chatise me and shame me, "Who do you think you are writing a book for people who probably don't want it or need it? Who are you to hand it out to people who likley want nothing to do with it?  Being a bit cocky, aren't you?"

 I listened and stepped back, more than a bit embarrassed that I gave a copy to anyone. Sigh! I put the books in a box, walked away, and it  all kind of fell into obscurity...which is okay.  I truly wasn't that attached to outcome. Yet, something now tells me  that I didn't do enough.  This process was never about "me" but about serving those who needed, or at least could benefit from, what I have to offer. The book has to be placed in an area where it can be see, and used. I might take a copy to  the public library. If one person gets something from it...it is all good. Sigh!

And with the "You Can Write" series I started and did so much work on: When I brought the books to school, I found myself so hesitant to hand them out...to bring them to the library like I originally planned to do...I questioned the cover, found other tiny little proofing errors in the text that I dwelled on etc. It was like, "Oh My God, What am I doing? Who do I think I am?" Instead of being proud of what I created, like I seemed to be the day before, I was once again embarrassed and ashamed. 

Who Am I to Assume I Have Something Valuable to Offer?

No one asked me for either type of book.  I just "assumed" a need from my observations and set out to fill that need in a way that served "me", the human who loves to write and teach, as well as any human who might benefit from it.  Who am I to assume such a thing? Who am I to think I am the one to fill such a need?

At the same time I question this, I love the process of writing and creating. These books came so easy to me! There was absolutely no citation required because it was all "common knowledge" gained from my years of writing and teaching writing. It was easy and fun. I also got to include my daughter's illustrations with the hope that it would show her her potential. Writing these books was a wonderful experience...in itself.  

Heaven in the Process

I do love the process of writing! That is until it comes to the submitting, or promoting stage. Yuck! That is when Shamer Ego rears its ugly head and attempts to gut punch any pride or fulfillment in the accomplishment out of me. Other than my spiritual motivation not to get attached to outcome, I also have this shame thing keeping me from attaching. Sigh!

So, anyway...I decided in one breath that I would give the  copies I have to the students only....if they wanted them. They wanted them. And I told myself, I did what I intended to do...I helped a few students with their writing and I completed my part in the cycle. All good. When I hand out copies of my books...I never ask for feedback, nor do I intend feedback. I hand out copies to complete my part of the writer, reader cycle. That's all. Few people understand that. My ego doesn't always understand that lol. If I get feedback...be it positive or negative...it is just ego that gets stroked or deflated...not who I am. 

The Added-On

Not attached to outcome, not expecting anything in return I went about my work. Then, one of my old students who I gave a copy to...approached me yesterday and gave me a big hug. "I really like your book," he said with the biggest smile on his face. "And my Mom really liked it too!" I just teared up knowing I just received an added-on.  The writing and the desire to serve in some way was the "Heaven" part of the process, and the positive feedback was simply an "added-on". Who I am at the deepest level...that part that writes to write; that teaches to teach; that truly wants to serve ...didn't need that feedback. It was just a very nice added-on. 

 Shame had no idea how to respond to that realization...so it shrivelled and shrunk away.

All is well.

An Ancient Theory of Everything?

 So, the whole of this universe has been created out of this very universe existing in a minute form. It has been made manifest now. It will go back to that minute form, and again will be made manifest. Now we find that the fine forms slowly come out and become grosser and grosser until they reach their limit, and when they reach their limit, they go back further and further, becoming finer and finer again. This coming out and becoming gross, simply changing the arrangements of its parts, as it were, is what in modern times we call evolution.....[but]...

every evolution is preceded by an involution. 

Vivekananda...

The Blue Jays and the Added On

 But seek ye first the Kingom of God and His righteousness; and all these things will be added onto you.

Matthew 6: 33 KJV 

I am thinking about "the added on" at the same time I think about the amazing game I watched last night: Game 7 of the world series between the Jays and the Dodgers. I am Canadian and the Toronto Blue Jays represent this country.  I had the opportunity to see them play a few times in person at the Dome when my sister lived in TO. Anyway, yeah like most people in this vast country, I really, really wanted them to take the series. The game was absolutely nerve bending. I have never seen a game like it-where it was so, so close with both teams playing an absolutely fantastic game to the absolute nail biting end!! Torontarians really were hopeful from the onset...preparing for massive celebrations in the streets around Roger's Center. And it really, really looked like they might win...

But...they didn't. 

What has this game got to do with a bible passage, Crazy lady?  Are you saying the team and fans didn't get the added-on because they were being shown that they were not faithful enough...that they should  have prayed more?

No...that is not what I am saying...at all.  And from the camera footage of faces both in the dug out and in the stadium...people were praying like I never seen people pray before. lol. I am just looking at this "added-on" as this thing on the end of a stick most of us go after; and I am questioning if we are missing something when the carrot becomes more important than the steps we are taking, the experience we are having in this reality of what is. I am looking at our attachment to outcome. 

Say what, crazy lady??? 

Winning the series was the carrot, right? All teams in the MLB work really, really hard game after game, practice after practice, injury after injury, win after win, defeat after defeat...to get that thing dangling in front of them. They believe they are doing it all for that outcome. It can become the most important thing, when all it is is an added-on. An "added-on" is not necessarily a need or something that will sustain us.  It is just an added piece of bling to an already complete warddrobe.

Huh? Anyway, what about "seek ye first for the Kingdom of God and His righteousness". What does that mean and what has that got to do with the Blue Jays? Are you saying that they all should be more like Christ and then maybe they could  win a title? 

Yes and no.  I am definitely not saying they have to be Christians in the sense of  adhering to  a certain dogma and doctrine man created and called "Christian".  I am simply saying, maybe we all should look at what Christ might have meant by these words. I think this bible passage means...and what the heck do I know, right?...but I think it means: seek the joy, peace, love, bliss in this moment, in you and this Life you have been given to live. Live according to that in a wholesome, loving way...serving the moment, serving humanity, serving all beings on this planet, serving Life by enjoying Life...and then you will be following Christ's direction of seeking first the Kingdom of God which is in you already. (Nor will they say, "Here it is" or "There!" for behold the Kingdom of God is in the midst of you. Luke 17:21ESV).

Regardless of Outcome  

When we do this, we will be experiencing and living Life fully...enjoying it, embracing it, honoring it, and all beings in it regardless of the outcome! We are not seeking the "added-on" when we seek "Heaven" first, we are simply seeking the joy of this experience of living, and  embracing the moment in front of us regadless of what it offers, regardless of any outcome.  If we do end up with the added-on...great!!! If we don't...it won't matter so much! Its just bling.

Observing the Joy of Living

Watching these teams play last night I had this overwhelming sense they were so completely in the zone, so in the moment, so in the life that was unfolding in front of them...that the carrot that lead them there suddenly disappeared. For eleven breath-holding-innings, the players were embracing Life with its hits and its strike outs, its home runs and its runs batted ins, its catches in outfield that were out of this world and its double plays infield that could barely be caught with the human eye.  For every fan that had the courage  to look between the cracks in fingers covering their eyes, it was such a beautiful, beautiful game to watch. It was inspiring and exhilarating to be a part of that as an observer. It must have been an even more exhilarating game to play. 

It was like the drama of life played out before us...with characters rising up and characters falling down...there were flashes of hope, followed by floods of  of disappointment.  There was the expectation built up and the expectation crushed down...but through it all there were the actors putting on a brilliant performance, so lost in their roles that the audience was on the stage with them. It was so obvious they enjoyed playing the game! That's what made the difference. 

It was also like a dance. Though there appeared to be two separate teams...there was only one dance and both danced beautifully together. Call it synchronicity, call it random variables, call it whatever...the Dogers were able to add one more little step to the dance that the Jays were not able to follow. L.A.  got the carrot they were both seeking.  That doesn't mean that the Jays didn't dance well too...they were absolutely fantastic! But...someone in a pair has to take the last step ...this time if was the Dodgers. 

And this is Life...this is experiencing what Christ meant, I believe. Enjoy the play, enjoy the dance...whether you are watching or up there on stage. This ...whatever is unfolding in front of you...be it a win or a loss...is the Heaven you are looking for.

What about that "added-on" ? That carrot?

Most of us seek the carrot because we think it is going to make us feel better....it is going to bring the joy, the love, the bliss. That carrot for the average person could be the great job, the soul mate, the ideal of family, a certain amount of money in the bank, a fancy car or  a social image of success. For the MLB player it is the World Series. So we set our goals, do the work, and go after it. Our focus becomes the carrot that is always up ahead...not this moment. We miss the moment. And the moment is where Heaven is.  When we acheive the thing we were seeking or receive the thing we wanted...we are high for a few moments...until the next carrot is put up in front of us. When we don't get what we were seeking from the external world...we feel great disappointment and loss, thinking, "Look at all the work I did to get this...all I sacrificed and gave up...and I didn't get it!" 

No One Lost!

If you are already full to the brim with the experience of Life...what is a wrinkly old carrot going to give you? What is a little bit more bling going to add to your life? You need to see that you could have gotten "It!" if "It" wasn't the carrot but the Heaven of the moment you were in. If what you were seeking was the joy of Life, the Heaven of being alive that was already within you...than if you went there seeking that first instead of after the carrot...you would have gotten and experienced what was truly important.  The trophies, the wins, the material things we might gain...are just "added-ons"...meaning they are not the essential gifts of Life...just little extras, a little bling. And if you already have Heaven , what do these things add to your Life in the true sense?...absolutely nothing. 

When players play ball like both teams played last night...the carrot was not the important thing, being in that game and giving it all one has...was.  And man did they show how much they loved to play the game, how much they were in this Life, by the performance they put on. Both teams won! The Dodger's got the carrot and they deserved it but what both teams got was alot more than an added-on...they received, and shared the joy of living, a little "heaven" with the world.

All is well. 

Max Planck?

Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are a part of that mystery that we are trying to solve.

Max Planck

For some reason, I woke up thinking about Max Planck...a founder of modern physics. .

I just finished reading Ervin Laszlo's Science and the Akashic Field and I was so surprised that he did not mention Max Planck once throughout the book. I checked the references and the "must reads", and I could not find anything written by Max Planck. He mentions "modern physics", "quanta",  "Quantum theory", and very briefly "Plank-Volume"  throughout his book, but surprisingly he doesn't attribute it to Max Planck. (You think he would mention that name often amongst the many other names mentioned, seeing himself as kindred spirit to Max Planck being that they were both not only reknown theorists but also musical prodigy's ). Is there a reason for that, and more importantly why the heck do I care? lol

I guess I care because there was the name "Max Planck" stuck in my head this morning. I couldn't shake it. I knew I had to write about him.

Who the heck is Max Planck?

Max Plank was a german born phsyicist who made a name for himself in the scientific world when he won the nobel prize in 1918 for his discovery of energy quanta.

Huh? What is energy quanta and why would I care to know about that? 

Energy quanta is a concept derived by Planck to explain the discrete pockets or packets by which energy is stored and absorbed.  Energy, he believed, was not continous and smooth as previously proposed. If it was it would be infinite. Planck set out to solve the problem of the"ultraviolet catastrophe" by proving that energy was chunky rather than smooth and that it  had specific  frequencies.  This set the framework for a new field of thought called "Quantum mechanics". The formula he prosposed when dealing with black-bodies ( the spectrum of electromagnetic radiation emitted by a heated object) and won the nobel prize for was: E= hf.  E is the energy of the quanta, f is the frequency and h is the constant he derived (this would later be called the "Planck constant").  With this theory, he turned classical "Newtonian" physics upside down. 

Prior to his discoveries, physics was said to be a completed study. Scientific mentors told him that there was nothing left to study and know in the area of theoretical physics. Planck, however, showed that what scientists thought they knew about the universe was not the be all or the end all.  Much more "knowing" had to be discovered about what was happening at the atomic and subatomic level. 

His theory set the groundwork  for the "Matrix" theory developed by Heisenberg in 1925 (the movies "The Matrix" were based on this theory), as well as  eleven "string"  theories which later developed into one "Super string" theory. Science still has lots to study and learn about the nature of the universe..

Science did not and will not solve the basic mystery of nature, life, and the universe. Why? We are a part of that which we are trying to solve.

This man  basically changed the way we perceived, thought and made sense of our world! That is why it is important to remember the contributions of great thinkers like Max Planck. 

All is well. 

 Ervin Laszlo ( 2007) Science and the Akashic Field. Inner Traditions: Rochester

Internet Archive/Max Planck, (1932) Where is Science Going?  https://archive.org/details/whereissciencego00plan_0/page/40/mode/2up

Handling it?

 I am here; I am conscious; the world is unfolding in front of me; and I am going to handle it. 

Michael A. Singer

Do you remind yourself of that on a daily basis? I don't always.  Sometimes I get lost in the drama of this "little me" and I forget to remind myself that "I can handle this!" 

I sometimes forget to work with my thoughts.

Most of us, in fact, are indirectly working with our thoughts by trying to manipulate the outside world, and blaming others and things outside ourselves for those thoughts. We do ths instead of working directly with our thoughts by being aware of them, looking deeply into them, and reconstructing them etc...that is taking responsibility for our thoughts.  Most of us are projecting "me" onto the other person?

Singer reminds us that.... 

It is your mind...you can think any thought you want. 

Yet, what thoughts do we tend to think. If it is true that 95 % of our thoughts are negative...man are we in trouble. We expect Life to be a certain way and when it isn't we deem it as unfair...thus leading to a download of negative thinking...that we blame the world for. Hmm!

It is not suppose to be the way you want...it is suppose to be the way it is. 

We have this amazing Life and this amazing playground to live out that Life on.  Sure there are downs with the ups, challenges with the blessings etc...but Wow! Look where we are and what we have to experience!

How can you waste one minute of the time you are given to be here, not having a good old time? 

So, what do we do when we finally get that and decide to own and manage our thoughts? Some say we should become more spiritual.  "Spiritual", to me, is just a word that points to a better experience of living. 

The bottom line of spirituality: ..."I can handle it because it is the only sane thing to do". 

Spirituality is all about honoring and respecting reality.

All is well. 

Michael A. Singer ( October 29, 2025) The Simplicity of True Spirituality: Learning to Handle Life.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkWfSqFU9VM&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Feel the Goodness

 

Gratitude is inseparable from feeling the goodness of the present moment. Then Life flows with greater ease.

Eckkhart Tolle

Okay the goal here is not to have Life circumstances change so they flow with greater ease. The goal is to to be able to tap into the goodness of the present moment regardless of the circumstances.  Challenges are not supposed to end completely. They are a necessary component of Life. When we are tapped in, however, things may begin to flow a lot more smoothly.

Once we realize  we are

...sustained by the one life underlying all things....you do what you have to do without the stress and everything flows with ease.

The practice is signalling out this moment.  And that is the end of stress too. 

Hmmm!

All is well.

Eckhkart Tolle ( October, 2025) How to End Stress and Anxiety. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRUhrvq1sTY&t=674s

Seeing the Difference Between Condition and Story

 Here is what is and here is what my mind is saying about it.

Eckhart Tolle

This is what we observe when we are alert and present, not all caught up in mind stuff, or in our reaction and resistance to external conditions. On one hand we see the external situation and on the other we see what is going on in the mind in reaction to it. The more we are observing from a distance, the more we will see how the two are separate...how one does not have to depend on the other so we do not need to get "disturbed". 

We lose our inner peace so easily, over external conditions, and we do not have to.

...your most precious thing is your inner peace

All is well.

Eckhart Tolle ( October, 2025) Stop Letting Life Control You. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rNYcJRMBm8

Just Another Science Puzzle Coming to the Light of Truth

 Non-local coherence is a bona fide scientific phenomenon, just as real and understandable as light, electromagnetism, mass and gravitation-although initially they appear just as puzzling as they have been. 

Ervin Laszlo, pg 157...Science and the Akashic Field...Inner Traditions/Rochester, Vermont, 2007

I had to keep reminding myself that this book was written before the discovery of the Higgs boson at CERN in 2012. As I was reading, I kept wondering why he was not mentioning the Higgs field etc. 

Anyway...great read. I did, however, get a bit tripped up on all the theories and theorists in this field. So much research was done to prove that nonlocal coherence or entanglement was a real thing. 

All is well

Heaven or Hell?

Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one that gets burned.

The Buddha

There is a couple of buddhist tales I recently heard.  I may be stepping beyond my rights here, but I combined the two into one. My bad. 

There is  zen story about a Japanese monk. During feudal times, samarui warriors were set out to eliminate all buddhists from Japan. Led by a ruthless general, they were vicious, slaughtering, disemboweling, and hanging out the dead bodies of buddhist monks as a sample of what they would do to practicing buddhists. Everyone was terrified. Monks fled in great number, abandoning their monastry's, and went into hiding. All but one. 

Word got out that one monk refused to abandon his monastry.  The general heard this news and was furious. "Who would have the nerve not to be afraid of me and what I can do?" he screamed before jumping on his horse and riding to the monastry. When he and his army burst through the monastry doors they discovered a small and frail looking monk standing in the center of the  courtyard. Still, quiet and unarmed this monk watched the sword yielding general jump off his horse and approach him.  

When the general was close enough, he stood up to his full height and looked down at the little monk. 

"Don't you know who I am???" he shouted pointing the tip of his sharp sword at the monk's belly. "Don't you know I could drive this sword through your belly removing all your insides?"

The monk, unflinching with nothing but equanmity in his eyes slowly  looked up at the warrior general and calmly said,

"Don't you know who I am?" his voice was calm and free of emotion." Don't you know I could allow you to drive the sword through my belly removing all my insides?"

The general shook his head in disbelief . "You do not know what hell is, do you?" 

Again the monk just looked at the warrior and pointing to his heart where this hate was festering, and calmly said, "This is hell." 

The warrior paled with those words and began to tremble recognizing instantly the truth in the small man's words. As if he was being controlled by some other entity he placed his sword, back in his sheath, bowed his head, and began to cry. 

The monk placed a small hand on the warrior's shoulder, an act of complete empathy and forgiveness.

"And this" he whispered. "Is heaven."

All is well.

Teaching, Learning, Wisdom and Being

 My Life is my message

Gandhi

I am not a spiritual teacher.  I have mentioned that many times, have I not? I am just a person seeking  some higher understanding. I am a yogi who is trying to "know" more which is kind of an oxymoron , I suppose. It is wisdom we are all truly seeking and wisdom is not a thing...it is who we are. 

You are wise, you know knowledge

How do we know or tap into wisdom?  Knowledge is gained through studying.  I like to study about yoga, other ancient wisdom traditions, philosophy, science ( right now I am on a quantum physics kick), psychology, poetry and other forms of literature. I like to study through observing Life from a distance. This requires "thinking" . Thinking will not bring wisdom.

The thinking mind is only part of the natural law...it is a happening

Wisdom is gained through experience; through tapping into our being. Life helps us with the wisdom part.  It challenges us.  It teaches us. The human experience of suffering probably teaches more than anything else.

The way is gained by daily loss

While thinking is a happening, wisdom is a being. Thinking can bring great suffering 

You get more stinkin with thinkin, than you can ever get with drinkin...Suffi Sam

Wisdom, on the other hand, can bring us true freedom. The only condition is we have to "be".  We have to "be" fully in Life....the good, the bad, and the ugly of it.  Why is it so hard for us to choose being over thinking? Part of us wants to be free, and the other part is terrified of letting go. 

There is a part of you that wants freedom; and a part of you that wants safety.

We try to think our way to some idea of "safety". Thinking, however, takes us away from being in Life.  If we are not in Life we are not "being", we are doing. Until we are "being" we are not wise and if we are not wise, we cannot teach in the truest of ways...like Gandhi did.

All is well. 

Baba Ram Dass (2024) Ram Dass- Our Salvation Lies in Our Intuition. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sTFhmRZCko

On True Compassion and Helping

 

The act of Compassion...which is the balance of the head and the heart...which is the balance of the perfection, and the imperfection; of the pain and the bliss of seeing the grace, the balance of all that is compassion. And compassion is looking out at the universe and being and allowing people to suffer in the way they choose without judging their suffering...and being available [to help] alleviate the suffering people wish to alleviate ....but not the suffering you are projecting into them.

This hit home today when I was contemplating how to best help those around me who are suffering. There is so much suffering in Life...it is an integral part of the human experience. We can get lost or close down in reponse to this suffering. I have closed down so much at times. Other times I seem to drown in this sense of helplessness that comes from not being able to do enough about it. 

This helps put it all into perspective:

And you have to look around you and see that you are looking at a complete bell shaped curve of evolution all around you, and that some people have different work to do than others. And it is not better or worse...It is just different. And they ahve different work to do.

All you can do for another human being is create an environment. No matter what act you do in relation to them, you create an environment in which they can get free if they choose to get free. And if they don't, you don't lay a trip on them. You can't force people to become free. 

I especially feel hopeless in my own parenting. This was what I needed to hear.:

So like...with a mother and child, you mother, and you nurture, and you protect and you do all that and you are the epitome of motherness in the impeccable warrior sense but you are resting in that place behind all that...a place where there is no mother and there is no child...so if the child would come up for air, you are right there...becausee you have recognized that we are in the world but not of the world.

I am getting there. Grateful for this gentle reminder from Ram Dass.

All is well.

Baba Ram Dass (2024) Ram Dass- Our Salvation Lies in Our Intuition. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sTFhmRZCko

Accepting the Dark and the Light; the Ego and the Oneness

 He who knows not that the Prince of Darkness is the other face of the King of Light knows not me.

Manly P. Hall

In the universal law/laws everything, according to Ram Dass is included....

The One looks out on all of it and sees perfection...

There seems to be so much suffering and chaos in the world. It is hard to integrate and include it all into our daily perceptions and experiences. It is hard to accept that even suffering, challenge, destruction, loss, and chaos are integral parts of being. They are.

It is very hard to know how to integrate all the parts of your being...

Our own so called imperfections and flaws, made so by a dualistic mind, are not necessarily considered imperfections in the laws of the universe, either. Our ego's though sometimes considered "nasty" by other personalities and egos...like the spiritual ego...serve a very important purpose in our growth 

When we are born, we go into somebody training and then [when  we wake up] we go into "nobody" training.

We spend our lives trying to build up this image of being a somebody...we forget who we are. We get lost in the actor and the drama on stage...lost in the "somebody" we created and we enlist the help of others so we can maintain it:

We enter into these conspiracies..."I will make believe you are who you think you are if you make believe I am who I think I am."

Why do we enter into these "conspiracies"? Why do we build and maintain these false senses of who we think we are? Why do we not choose freedom from teh get go? Because our egos somehow make us feel safe.  They do have a purpose we do need them

There is a part of you taht wants to be free; but there is also a part of you that wants to be safe.

Too often we value safety over freedom.

Then when we begin to realize who we are...and we get brave...we try to remove the somebody.  Sometimes we beat up on this ego in the process of trying to remove it so we can be who we are.  We see it as a separate, foreign part, like a cancer that needs to be removed...

the ego is not a cancerous growth...it is a part of all of it.

We need to learn to integrate all parts of who we are: the good, the bad, and the ugly....the darkness and the light.  We are the Self and the self...the human and the being...we are meant to experience all of it.

We awaken, not by destroying the ego but by accepting it:

 you need your ego in order to survive but not as your master, as your servant...not by destroying thought but by getting beyond thought.

It is all a part of the experience; the learning we are to do here.

You are in school...why don't you try doing the curriculum?" 

So, we see and accept the human often lost in darkness. We see that we are unique little lights with dark spots  shining amongst other lights. Gently we begin to fall back, back, back away and into the Source of light behind it all....We can only do this if we are not struggling against the seemingly very imperfect ego or the personality that is so much a part of this human. If we are resisting it in anyway, we are "clinging" to it. When we cling, we cannot fall back into the higher dimension of who we are. We can not fall back into stillness, into the still quiet experience beyond thinking and doing.

When you are starting to rest in that part of yourself that is behind your own  melodrama, you are just here....

Liberating ourselves requires faith in our spiritual connection

...the more your faith in your spiritual connection...the more you can drown in life and enjoy your uniqueness. And finally, liberation is you ...you are totally unique and you are also the One. 

So, it is fine. It all comes together finally...it is nice to get to the stage when it is all relaxed and natural being human

So what do we do? We play the game. We play the human part at the same time we know we are in this world but not of it. We watch it all from back here.

Do not identify with being the actor and do not attach to the fruits of your actions.

What would you do if you are not identified with the actor and were not attached to the fruits of your actions? 

Open yourself up to all that you are, and to all of what is and then act with as much integrity as you can

All is well

Baba Ram Dass (2024) Ram Dass- Our Salvation Lies in Our Intuition. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sTFhmRZCko

Unus Mundus

 In the final analysis the idea of an unus mundus [one world] is founded, on the assumption that the multiplicity of the one world rests on an underlying unity...Everything divided and different belongs to one and the same world....

Carl Jung

The basis of everything I am knowing at some deep sense I cannot even explain is Oneness. I am not alone in "knowing" this. This is the substance of yoga and, from what I am now discovering, of  quantum physics. Go figure!

All is well.

Nikola Tesla

 The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one day than in all the previous centuries of its existence.

Nikola Tesla

Thinking of Nikola Tesla. He was mentioned in Science and the Akashic Field and I have been thinking about him since. 

His "original medium" is more or less the Akashic Field. What an amazing mind Tesla had and what a sad reflection his Life offered. It is funny that he was not considered a contributer to the field of quantum physics by the general science community of his time. He was not a scientist, let alone, a physicist. He was an engineer who opposed quantum mechanics so adamantly, calling it " magnificent mathematical garb that dazzles, fascinates, and blinds men to the fundamental errors." He also outwardly opposed Einstein's theory of relativity. ...Yet in all actuality, did he not think like a quantum physicist? 

If you want to find the secrets of the universe think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.

Though he lived a lonely, germ and work obsessed life, dying alone in a motel room at the age of 86...I guess he got what he intended in his life time. He often stated that he did not care so much about what happened to his body and mind in his present incarnation. He was more concerned about the impact he would have in the future. He did have an impact on the future...in quantum physics, of all things.

Let the future tell the truth and evaluate each one according to his work and accomplishments. The present is theirs; the future, for which I really worked, is mine.

All is well

Committed to Reprogramming

 

Beliefs control our bodies, our minds, and thus our lives.

Bruce Lipton

I woke up without the knot today.  I woke up feeling pretty darn good.  Energy levels are higher. I feel lighter. There is a pep in my step.  And once again, though I do not want to project my life experience into the future, I feel hope.  This is not because I got more sleep ( which is a great thing for all of us to do) ...I actually got less sleep...I woke up at 4 and did a quick check and felt great...didn't fall back to sleep right away but I felt good. 

Why then did I suddenly feel better? It is not that I think that knot, that samskara is miraculously gone but it definitely dissolved a bit to let more shakti through. I feel better, I believe, because of four things that happened after I opened up over the internet yesterday and exposed how I was feeling. (I also asked for help from some invisible entity).

First of all, by opening up and being honest with myself I could see there was something inside me that needed to be healed. That need for purification was reinforced. I could see how my stored stuff was impacting me.  Instead of being hidden away gradually over the course of this healing journey it was becoming more and more apparent, more and more real. It was time to deal with it.  I recommitted to dealing with it and I asked for help from all the universal forces out there: forces from unseen realms where "angels, and spirit guides" might be hanging around. (That seemed a little too woo-woo even for me)...so I also asked for guidance from the other unseen forces like  the electromagnetic field; from the gravitational field, from strong and weak nuclear forces field, and from the quantum field which I am beginning to believe is the akashic field. It is all one big field anyway. My being open made me receptive to the help of these forces

It was the quantum field that answered. Well the entities of the first unseen field may have brought the teachings of qauntum physics back to my awareness. 

The second thing that happened is that I was " serendipitously" reintroduced to the teachings of Bruce Lipton on a podcast I love to watch called Mayim Bailik's Breakdown. ( They merge science with spirituality on this podcast). I read The Biology of Belief when it first came out and I was blown away by it.  I ran around telling everyone I knew back then, "You gotta read this." It really helped to get me away from the illness, "need a diagnosis" focus I was so attached to at the time. I never forgot his teachings, they just got muddled and buried under other things my busy mind was doing. He, in that podcast, was addressing how deeply held core beliefs were the programs in our subconscious mind by which we were living. I could instantly see how that related to what was going on in me. It confirmed the question I was asking over the course of this week, "Are my life circumstances a reflection of this programming, this vibrational frequency ( did not use those words) this samskara was projecting. According to him ...it was! He then proceeded to talk about something I have been recently reviewing and practicing again: self-hypnosis.  I have read, studied, made lots of self-hynosis tapes recently to change my own programming but it was not as effective as I thought it should be. Why? Lipton went on to speak about something else I had studied in great length and "knew" about but that somehow got forgotten or muddled: brain wave activity. The best time to reprogram with self-hypnosis is right before we fall asleep when the brain is in theta wave functioning. So, I scooted over to my laptop and made a presleep self-hypnosis guided practice for  last night to fall asleep to. He also said, "quantum physics is the most validated science." 

After I listend to this podcast, I felt lighter, like my prayers were being answered, I continued to flick around on Youtube until I came to this video on the pineal gland and Cerebral spinal fluid and linking that to the yogic nadis and the Third Eye. Who did they adress in that video beside the guy claiming to be a neurosurgeon...my man, Vivekananda. I love when science...especially mainstream science like medicine addresses yoga in the way I do. This did. Blew me away. I could see in that video that the shakti is moving up the sushumna...albiet slowly...of this human I call me. Things are moving. There was science of human physiology explaining and backing it up. I decided then I was going to get back to Kriya yoga....and look into "Holotrophic breathing." 

From there I flicked on to another screen related to what I am now reading in Science and the Akashic Field. It explained how our "quantum signature" which is the programming Bruce Lipton was talking about was determining the lives we were living. Of course, all quantum is believed to be energy and vibration and we project these energetic frequencies out there. The speaker ( might have been AI) explained what I am learning from the book I am reading- how everything emerges from this quantum field of infinite possibilities and there are so many different possibilities in the form of vibrating wavelets... observation collapses quantum wavelets into particles, into one of those possibilities...the vibrational frequency of the observer and/or the measuring tool determines what particle possibility that wavelet will collapse into or "jump" into. The vibrational frequency is determined by the programming...the core beliefs...the drama of this "me"...as observers. In other words, there are so many circumstances to choose from...if we are experiencing repetitive low energy circumstances, as I have benn doing, we can change our circumstances by changing the frequency that vibrates within us.  We change the frequency by changing the programming. We change our quantum signature. 

This video suggested three things we can do:

1. We can map our current frequency throughout the day. Set an alarm to go off several times during the day and check in on your frequency level. Ask during those times, "How am I feeling now? What am I believing?" Become aware of what your signature is...what your programming is...what your core beliefs are and how they are impacting your life.

2. Manipulate the perception of time...in the sense that sure there is one now but remind yourself there are many different possibilities for this now. If this possibility that is manifesting is not reflecting sat cit ananda from the number of possible nows in the field...joy, bliss, and love...use "I am" to change those reflections. In other words, choose something different...don't beat up what is happening in this frequency possibility...know it is simply reflecting your vibration signature-  just begin to see yourself in another of those possibilities for now.  "I am reflecting love, joy, and peace into my world". Don't visualize what it could be like...act as if it is like that...because it is in one of those possibilities. We are not veering away from the "It is what it is" mantra of our existence. We are just exploring and possibly choosing  another "it is"

3. Activate coherence and monitor it. As you increase frequency watch and see how circumstances change to match taht frequency.

The speaker says that it will not happen overnight...it gives an estimate time frame of 40 to 90 days before our vibrations rise enough to be positively coherent with our experiences. Also suggest theta-gamma coupling to assist with this which is basically: Deeply relaxed body; sharp, alert mind. This is a practice of deep concentration [Dharana, the 6th limb of Patanjali's yoga] and meditation [Dhyana, the 7th limb of Patanjali's yoga] combined.

So, these teachings and reviews coming to me at the time they did felt like answers.  I am just fascinated by all this.  I am going to approach it as if I was a sceintist experimenting as I test a hypothesis. Just showing up the way they did lifted me. Someone or something out there is hearing what this higher Self within me is seeking.

I am committed to reprogramming. Are you?

Bruce Lipton (2011) The Biology of Belief. Hay House

Mayim Bailik's Breakdown (2025) Reprogram your Subconscious to Break Limits for Health and Happiness!  https://www.bialikbreakdown.com/episodes/bruce-lipton

Sadly, for the life of me, I cannot seem to find the video on quantum signature that I tapped into last evening.  I will keep looking. 

 

Where Two Great Minds Meet

 

According to the philosphers of India, the whole universe is composed of two materials, one of which they call Akasha. It is the omnipresent, all-penetrating existence. Everything that has form, everything that is a result of a combination, is evolved out of Akasha. It is Akasha that becomes the air, that becomes the liquids, that becomes the solids; it is Akasha that becomes the Sun and the Earth, the Moon, the stars, the comets; it is Akasha that becomes the human body, the animal body, the plants, every form we see, everything that can be sensed, everything that exists. It cannot be perceived; it is so subtle that it is beyond all ordinary perception; it can only be seen when it has become gross, has taken form. At the beginning of creation there is only this Akasha. At the end of the cycle the solid, the liquids, and the gases, all melt back into the Akasha again, and the next creation similarily proceeds out of this Akasha....

Vivekananda in Science and the Akashic Field pg 76

I knew I was led to this book when I seen this quote from Vivekananda.  This is where the great mind of science and the great mind of metaphysics meet. Blown away.

All is well.

Ervin Laszlo ( 2007) Science and the Akashic Field. Rochester: Inner Traditions

Finding Meaning in Suffering Beyond the Gymnastics of the Mind

 

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.

Unknown

I want to know "Everything" in the True knowledge way, that goes beyond conceptualization and intellectualization. I do!

 I am fully aware that is a very big and life (s) long process to get to that level of truth. In the meantime, I have a very active intellectual mind and I am pretty addicted to words and concepts. I use it and them  to "explain" "my" verson of  reality. So, I also like to be able to understand on an intellectual level and to be able to explain with words why life is so challenging for this human I call "me". 

I want to dwell on the question of "Why me?" from  a more objective and zoomed out view.

From this wide lens perspective, I am fully aware this human is one tiny weeny  speck in a sea of 8.5 billion specks, floating around on a little salty, watery rock in a small universe, in  a massive galaxy which just happens to be one of trillions.  I understand all that from the zoomed out view. 

I have, however, been given one small sliver of Life to experience intimately. That requires a more zoome din focus. I am  seeing this sliver of Life as it unfolds in front of me through the eyes on this head and I am experiencing it all through this one insignificant, aging, and sometimes ailing body. Though I now can have a zoomed out perspective, I still have an ego and personality conditioned by what this human was given (or chose) to experience. The focus gets pulled in and down. What I am perceiving in front of "me" in the slice of living I am here to experience...is often so "challenging" and I want to know why? I ask the question, "Why me?"

This question is not a whiney..."Oh Woe As Me " question. It is a curious one asked by the same mind that asks why the body functions the way it does. Though I ask why "me"...I am not focusing on the me as "me" but as that which so many identify with at the exclusion of realizing who we truly are. Not too many earthlings identify themsleves as being souls or consciousness having a human experience, do they? Do you? Though I truly see myself as awareness getting to know Itself...I still forget and find myself flat down in the muck of human drama much, much too often.

Don't get me wrong ...I perceive and experience great beauty around me and I appreciate that beauty. I am completely astounded by the natural world. I am surrounded by amazing people and so much love.  I appreciate that love. I have my basic needs met for the most part. I am grateful for that. I have grandchildren whom I adore. I love observing and participating in their yet -to- be -conformed-conditioned- and- confined -by -dogma perspective of the world. So,so thankful for that. I partake in little things I enjoy like knitting, photography, studying, whatever, yoga, walking and I get to write!! I am so grateful for these things. 

 I was standing in the shower last evening reviewing glimpses of the precious life  I experienced over the last few  days: Running around with my grandkids, nestled in the vibrant orange and gold hues of Autumn foliage and sunshine, laying on the grass after my yoga practice looking up at the sky with my pets around me, reaching and pulling an apple from a tree that produces such beautiful abundant fruit and being able to pass this fruit onto others, using my hands to move needles around beautiful coloured yarns to create something for someone else, just sipping my tea, reading books about quantum physics ( my go to these days), holding a book I wrote -for God only knows why- in my hand...visiting with my sister on her deck...laughing the few times I laughed.  It was all so clear and beautiful in my my mind. I felt great appreciation for Life. I  know that It  is an amazing adventure.  I appreciate. I appreciate. I appreciate!

...but...

I also often find what I am given to look at in this tiny slice very, very challenging. I am down, just as much as I am up. This experience of Life has been very challenging ever since this human was small...and because I, as she, has endured so much conditioning, made sense of it with so many Self-negating beliefs, built up so many layers of defenses in order to "get by"...Life is now seen through this dark and heavy veil.  On top of that...there really are a lot of challenges!That's not made up or exaggerated.  It is hard to focus on the sunshine and laughter when there is so much suffering calling me from the inside, and calling me from the outside to do something about it. So many challengess are  thrown in front of the blurry, dark filtered  lens in which I snapshot the world. It is really heavy. 

I look over away from my lens view to others and I see some suffering for sure...yes...but this much? No. I mean...for sure...there are many suffering so much more than me outside my visual field, I know that ...but in this slice I am given to perceive...there are not many.   I am not denying them the right to their experiences...not at all. I truly, truly want others to experience joy of Life.  I do!  I just want to be able to experience a bit more myself, as well. I don't know why it is so hard fo this me to do that. Why has this human been given so many challenges? Why does she keep getting challenges back to back ? Why are there so few breaks of relief and abundance to compensate? I figure...if I knew why...then I would be okay with it all. That's why I am trying to figure out this suffering thing.  I am okay with Life not being easy as long as I know why it isn't easy for this human...that this challenge serves a purpose.

That is why I like learning about this "soul contract" stuff and this "we evolve through challenge" mentally etc. If I begin to see that as my Truth, I happily own and accept my challenges then.

But what if I am manifesting my own reality through  my consciousness veils? Is my unhealed brokenness being reflected onto the world I live in through the circumstances I encounter? Why do I feel so bound by this suffering mind, if it is the cause for my suffering experience and the suffering world I see?

If you think you are free, free you are this moment, and if you think you are bound, bound you will be. Vivekananda

Are my negative, samskara induced thoughts creating my world? That would be okay if it was just me suffering but my experience of suffering is built around having to watch others suffer, being expected to fix it, and not being able to. Sigh! I have a hard time handling the guilt, even remotely believing that is true.

Sigh! It is a conundrum lol

That brings me to yoga and purification.  I want all this stuff out of me that is clouding my vision and keeping me bound in a physical world of suffering.  I don't need the circumstances to change for this human I call "me" (though it would be nice if they did ...a bit...anyway...for the better lol) . I just need the samskaras gone. Part of the reason, I feel so heavy and challenged now is because these samskaras (at least the emotional energy if not the memories they attached themselves to) are coming up. I asked that of the Universe, the world, this Self I know I am beyond the me- this Objective Observer of the Zoomed out focus- to help me to rattle and shake up my samskaras so they come up and out. My challenging Life circumstances may actually  be a kind answer in response to my prayers. Do you think?

Anyway, right now I feel heavy and pulled down...with these beautiful insights coming in and out of my consciousness about how amazing this world is, how amazing Life is. 

I read this today as I was waiting for my daughter:

...the human soul, whatever it be, or whatever its relation to God, is essentially pure and perfect, whether expressed in the language of mythology, allegory, or philosophy. Its real nature is blessedness and power, not weakness and misery. Somehow or other the misery comes. The crude systems may call it a personified evil, a devil, or an Ahriman, to explain how this misery came. Other systems may try to make a God and a devil in one, who makes some people miserable and others happy, without any reason whatever. Others again, more thoughtful, bring in the theory of Maya and so forth. But one fact stands out clearly, and it is with this that we have to deal. After all, these philosophical ideas and systems are but gymanastics of the mind, intellectual exercises. 

The one great idea that to me seems to be clear, and comes out through the masses of superstition in every country and in every religion, is the one luminous idea that man is divine, that divinity is our nature. Vivekananda

In other words if we continue to see our selves as puny bodies and personalities randomly at the mercy of life circumstance...bound by this limited fate the mind creates...we will suffer.  If we chose instead, though, to go beyond mind to see the divinity within, suffering will end. 

Anyway, how I rambled. Taking my daughter to an appointment shortly ...Got to go!

All is well

Beyond Conforming and Confining Everything

 God conformed to form is deformed...God defined is confined...

Ram Dass

I thought of those words today as I was writing in my devotional.  Actually, the words just popped up on the screen in a different font and everything.  Yep! They did.  I mean there could be some technical glitch as the physical world explanation for this. I did type those exact words in a blog entry yesterday....and maybe they were trapped in the cut and paste function that I somehow accidently hit while I was typing. Regardless, I don't care...at all.  I looked up from my ramble...there the words were...set a part from all others...meant to be seen....at least by these eyes on this human's face. There was no reactivity from me when they popped up...just an "Okay, that's interesting....now,  what am I supposed to do with this?"  I finished my entry and here I am...telling you what happened.

God, of course, is a word and what that word points to is so much grander than the word itself...but too many of us conform and confine that Divine Essence into a word, into an idea, a small human image, into a dogma or belief system...diminishing the reality  of what God is. I think of God as the Source of Everything. God, therefore, is the Source of consciousness...that awareness that is breathed through everything. That "everything" is the foundation for much thought, contemplation, and research. 

I am so convinced that consciousness is not confined to a physical brain...that who we truly are is not body, not personality, not the dramas we are going through but so much more.  I am so convinced and I keep looking for a complete and absolute knowing of that truth. I am looking to the "science of it" and at the same time I am exploring it through things termed the "metaphysical". All the word metaphysical means, btw, is..."after" physics...or going beyond the physical.  

Huh? 

Metaphysics is about going beyond physical science, beyond the explanation of matter in physics. It does not mean going outside the realms of science or scientific investigation. 

Ervin Laszlo in his ground breaking book, "Science and the Akashic field" explores this idea that consciousness is not entrapped, conformed or confined to physicality. Using both groundbreaking scientific 'Theories of Everything', as well as what was discovered by ancient rishis, he tries to connect the findings of science with ancient wisdom; the physical with the metaphysical in our understanding of "everything".

In Chapter Three, he quotes Einstein (who he referrs to a lot in his book) :

A human being is part of the whole, called by us 'universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences his thoughts and feelings as something seperate from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. The delusion is a sort of prison for us, restricting us to our personal decisions and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. page 1

So, that above quote is timely and I, as consciousness in this human form, received it from some place where all 'in-formation' comes from for a reason that benefits all...even if I do not understand any of it. I like to think that anyway.

All is well

Ervin Laszlo (2007) Science and the Akashic Field. Inner Traditions: Rochester Vermont. 

Coming and Going with Ram Dass

 The coming and going is where you are

Hyakunin Isshu

I love how Ram Dass explains the process of bothe being in space and time and not being in space and time

acknowledges a space of my being where I am not in time...but also in time...living in time but not in time...living in space and not in space

Then when we face challenge with this in mind

What grace....cuz you feel the process of working with the pain...the challenge has become the curriculum...

He also spoke of the need for

cultivating that space of awareness where I just see where things are....

...For seeing that this idea of God is not what God is 

God in form...is a God deformed...God defined is a Gof confined...

to come to God...fold the future into the present the same way we fold the past into the present...by coming up as close to my fear as possible with compassion and respect...(somewhat paraphrased) 

For me God is truth...Gandhi

I can never know truth, I coud just be truth.

So much hard earned wisdom to learn from. 

All is well!

Baba Ram Dass (September, 2025) Mystery's Edge https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaF7Hafqbjw

Getting Pulled Down?

You are literally God consciousness staring down at your mind...Keep your head where it belongs...become established in the Seat of Self and you will never get pulled down again.

Michael A. Singer

I am being pulled down...or at least part of me is.  The other part, has found the Seat of Self, and is just watching quietly in the background, squirming around, trying to get comfy. I try to stay back there as the "Objective Observer" and I am getting pretty good at staying longer, but  I am not yet "established".  I too often feel pulled "down"...energetically, thought wise, feeling wise, body wise...into the lower energies, into the lower chakra stuff. 

This human is quite often lately  having an experience of  heaviness, low energy, apathy even? I...as this "me"  don't feel very "good" or "happy". I make judgements like, "I don't like this! This is awful! I want out!" as I observe this experience. I don't resist it, though...I don't run from it...I don't try to make it better. I accept it. I still don't like it, lol and I am fully aware of that. I do want out. I am, however, no longer relying on old ego defense mechanisms of distraction, numbing, supressing, avoiding, grasping, running after, pretending etc to get me out. I know "out is through". Sigh! So, I am facing this bare-naked feeling I was running away from all my life,  that I am now so aware of because it is no longer hidden away.  And to be honest, "It really sucks!" lol.  It is not pleasant! It is so heavy and draining.

But I don't resist it.  I observe it, the best I can, from back here in the Seat of Self. I take out the popcorn and turn up the volume so I can watch it all go down knowing, most of the time, that I am not that which I am watching. I see and know that I am not that which I am watching down there....until

As Michael Corleone in the Godfather says. "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in." It pulls me back down.

I feel this "felt experience" of being pulled down in the center of my gut...like a great big knot...like there is a magnet there drawing my thoughts, feelings , and outward experience of life in this physical world down to it ( my outer experiences seem to be reflections of my inner...you know, the old Murphy's law thing.). The solar plexus is where everything seems to be happening. I am so aware of it. I feel it physically : so many little physiological issues there...I feel the tension creeping up from there into my muscles and into my jaw that seems to be permanently clenched. It moves down into my legs and feet. My feet are clenched as well. 

I started writing about this experience in my gut while I was listening to the below podcast. It's so funny... near the end of the podcast Singer speaks to the fact that most people are operating from the third chakra! Go figure... another shout out from the universe to remind this "me" that there is some intelligence so much bigger than my little mind operating here. 

I know that I am stuck in third chakra issues. That is where the knot of  samskara is being tossed around by the Shakti underneath it. I am dealing with survival issues, money issues, and the painful dying of an old ego (and it is a painful process). My buried shame and guilt create the emotional energy that keeps that knot together. I feel it so much, I like to think, because Shakti is below it trying to push it up and out of the way.  Shakti is moving the samskara around like a "clot buster".  Then, like tiny clots dislodged from an artey's lumen...pieces of this samskara are moving around causing discomfort.  

Because I am actively "cleansing" and seeking the death of this protesting ego...shakti is able to get around, in trickles at least, so it can move up into the heart chakra- I do have intense experiences of love, forgiveness, compassion, appreciation for the beauty around me.  It moves up in tiny trickles to the throat chakra where I experience these downloads of wisdom and truth that I share effortlessly, it seems. It even moves up ...in tinier trickles, maybe...to the third eye where I have this clarity to the point of precognition etc... and sometimes it moves up to the Thousand-Petalled Lotus where I am in touch with something far greater than me. 

The Shakti is moving.  I really want to believe that I am cleansing but it is such a slow and somewhat painful process, I get lost in it.

There is still too much of a magnetic pull to this samskara knot in the center of my gut and everything it clings to. This amazing consciousness that I am, this Chit Shakti, this "Man minus mind equals God"  keeps getting pulled down to it. It gets lost in the thoughts and feelings generated there...pulled right in and tangled up in that knot. 

I know at some level that goes beyond knowledge...that that is not me...that I am the one back here watching...but the drama is so convincing at times I forget. 

I get lost in personal mind again and again. My thinking during all this is so bizarre. Without all my old beliefs, habitual thought patterns, mind tendencies...nothing really makes sense. Much to my loved ones dismay, I am no longer excited or attached to social rituals and social expectations. So, I don't empathize enough with their attachments. I see beyond them. I do not hope or dream like I used to.  I just say, "I don't know what I want!"  I do not try to gain reward for my doing, anymore. I still do but I am nolonger attached to outcome. I don't want to be around people like I used to.  I still love people but not in the attached way of "special relationships". I just want peace!

I just want to cleanse. I just want to be free of all these knots that are holding me back. I want this Chit Shakti to flow freely through me, just as this Life  is meant to flow freely through this himan I call "me". I want to get out of the way. I want to get beyond personal mind.

For one who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends; but for one who has failed to do so, the mind will remain the greatest enemy.

The Gita Chapter 6, Verse 6

Conquering the mind simply means learning not to believe everything it says. When we observe the mind from the Seat of Self...we see clearly that we are not the mind.  It is just a tool we get to use. Who we are is beyond mind.

Sigh! 

All is well.

Beyond Science and Western Thinking

 I must know the heart of this life, its very essence, what it is, not only how it works and what are its manifestations. I want the Why of everything. I leave the how to children. 

Vivekananda

I am not like other people.  I never was, I suppose. Though I have a love of science I want more than the answers it can provide.  I want more than the knowing of "what" and "how".  I want to know "why". Hmm! That takes me  beyond scientific thought, beyond my western conditioning, to the ancient wisdom of the East.  I know nothing...I may never know anything...but I want to understand the "why" behind existence.

Hmm!

All is well. 

Sure to Join the Ocean of Life

 The whole of mankind will become Jivanmuktas-free whilst living. We are all struggling towards that one and through our jealousies and hatreds, through our love and cooperation. 

A tremendous stream is flowing towards the ocean carrying us all along with it; and though like straws and scraps of paper we may at times float aimlesly about, in the long run we are sure to join the Ocean of Life and Bliss.

Vivekananda (2.5.9 Chapter Nine, Complete Works)

He talks about floating aimlessly. Yes, many of us float aimlessly.  I also see that many of us, like me, when we decide to swim against the current or try to cling to everything from this world as we swim along... do not float...we splash and splatter and we get pulled down. 

Michael A. Singer speaks to this pulling down in the below linked podcast.  I often feel pulled down...I take this amazing awareness...consciousness and I bring this great universal energy and focus it down on my experience in the water...not even my experience in the water..."my idea" of my experience on this water grasping and clinging, trying to save other people from drowning and going down with them. 

Regardless of how I struggle or get distracted in the petty concerns of "me"...I am still being carried towards the Ocean...I am becoming a Jivanmuktas with or without my awareness, my cooperation, my attention focused on this purpose.

Life, however, would feel so much better...be much more enjoyable if we simply layed back and observed, experienced fully, and let go of all the stuff that passes by as we lay here....being taken to the bliss of Who I Am. 

All is well

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( October, 2025) Escaping the Call of the Ego: A Call to Liberation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ3g2hb26Dg&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=2

Completing Its Task

 Let your higher Self complete Its task.

Gary Zuhav

Hmm! Bernado Katsrup tells us in the below clip that most of us are not permitting ourselves to live Life fully. We are as he quotes:

Living our  lives to culturally bound recipes.

He speaks of the Daimon...our true nature and states if we want to live fully, we need to do the Daimon's bidding. We need to let nature and Life do their work through us.

As Zukav says above we need to let the higher Self complete Its task. What does he mean by that?

I don't know about you but I find it comforting to think that I came here with a basic idea of what challenges I would face in this life time...that maybe I actually chose them for the purpose of the Soul's growth. I like to think that everything is happening as it is meant to and that my job is to stay open to the flow of Life. When things get tough I try to remind myself that Life knows what it is doing...It is using this Self in human form for some great purpose I don't have to understand but that will allow this soul to experience, learn, and grow. 

I don't want to keep blindly going with the cultural flow...like a tiny fish in a school of fish.  I want to do what Life expects me to do.  I want to fulfill my pre-birth contract, if that is such a thing, even if that means being ostracized. 

There are times when the challenges for this human are so heavy I just want to give up.  I remind myself at these times why I am here: to serve some purpose I do not need to understand.  It isn't about this little psyche I call "me. " So what if it finds it a little tough! "Suck it Up, Buttercup!" This is about the Self. I renew my determination to let the Higher Self complete Its task. I get on with the business of living,

All is well.

Bernardo Katsrup (August 29, 2025) Permission to Live Your Life to Full. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGfqd4YFlWw&t=268s

Gary Zukav (198/2014) The Seat of the Soul. New York: Simon and Schuster

Hmm! 

The "Word"

 The external aspect of the thought of God is the Word, and as God thought and willed before He created, creation came out of the Word.

Vivekananda

Interested in exploring the Infinite field of energy behind everything- the primordial field. In ancient Indian tradition there is something called the Akashic Records, a place where all eternal knowledge is stored. Looking into the brilliant mind and works of Ervin Laszlo.

The "Word" is often used to explain this field.

Man shall not live on bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. 

Matthew 4:4 NIV

All is well

Work Your Way Through

 This life is a hard fact; work your way through it boldly, though it may be adamantine; no matter, the soul is stronger....It lays no responsibility on little gods; for you are the makers of your own fortunes. You make yourselves suffer, you make good and evil, and it is you who puts your hands before your eyes. Take your hands away and see the light; you are effulgent, you are perfect already, from the very beginning....

How are we to see it? This mind, so deluded, so weak, so easily led, even this mind can be strong and may catch a glimpse of that knowledge, that Oneness, which saves us from dying again and again.

As rain falling upon a mountain flows in various streams down the sides of the mountain, so all the energies which you see here are from that one Unit. It has become manifold falling upon Maya. Do not run after the manifold; go towards the One.

Vivekananda 

Hmm! This helps a bit in understanding why we need these physical lives that can be so crazy at times, so challenging. It is all a part of our spiritual growth.  We will see and understand Truth so much better by seeing "through" this drama to what is real.

But as man sees his own face in a mirror, perfect, distinct, and clear, so is the Truth shining in the soul of man. The highest heaven, therefore, is in our own souls; the greatest temple of worship is the human soul, greater than all heavens, says the Vedanta; for in no heaven anywhere, can we understand the reality as distinctly and clearly as in this life, in our own soul. 

All is well.

Vivekananda (n.d.) 2.5.9 Chapter 9: Unity in Diversity (London, 1896) Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda. Kindle Edition

Susceptible Inner Nerves

 Take the lowest man; he lives in the forest. His sense of enjoyment is very small, and so also is his power to suffer. If he does not get plenty of food, he is miserable; but give him plenty of food and freedom to rove and hunt, and he is perfectly happy. His happiness consists only in the senses, and so does his misery. But if that man increases his knowledge, his happiness will increase, the intellect will open to him, and his sense enjoyment will evolve into intellectual enjoyment. He will feel pleasure in reading a beautiful poem, and a mathematical problem will be of absorbing interest to him.[Note: the poem and not the mathematical problem applies to this human I call "me":) ] But, with these, the inner nerves will become more susceptible to miseries of mental pain, of which the savage does not think. 

Vivekananda (2.5.9 Chapter 9: Unity on Diversity; Complete Works; Kindle) 

Again, I am trying to understand this sense of "suffering" the actor in this heavy drama is experiencing and why.  Why do I get so lost in character and have such a difficult time pulling my attention off the drama? Haven't I learned through my intellectual and spiritual pursuits that I am only playing a part here?  That that character isn't who I am? That the physical scenery around me is just a bunch of props that can be taken down just as quickly as they were put up...that this staged physical world is not the "real" one...that it is just illusion or "maya"? ? Why do we humans see it as real, even though we know at some level that it isn't? Why does maya have such a pull on us humans to the point this energy that is meant to be so high gets pulled down so low? 

I look at the quote above. I think...Maya must have a purpose. We are not yet at the point of evolution, maybe, that we can handle the whole truth about reality. We are still evolving. Evolution goes through stages.

Maya, a Part of the Evolutionary Process

Like it is in the "savage"(not a word I approve of) infinite consciousness, that knows everything already, has to be filtered and strained through the human brain so only a small amount of information ...that which is necessary for survival...can pour through. We as characters on the stage do not see all there is to this experience of Living. We are limited to the physical, that which can be picked up by the five senses. Physical survival of the human organism has to be priority...if consciousness is to experience living through this physical host. In the early stages of human evolution, then, consciousness just focused on our hunting and gathering tendencies...on the basics. At the same time though, there was a sense or a deeper knowing that could not be conceptualized, only experienced as it is in animals, of a connection to something bigger and deeper. There was this knowing ...through intuition...through instinct...etc of consciousness, without having any ideation, vocabulary, or conceptualization to explain it. It didn't have to be explained. It didn't have to be known.  It just was. There was a sense of happiness when basic needs were met, and a sense of suffering when they weren't. It was so simple. There was none of  this "mental" suffering that plagues humans today. 

With intellectualization and a growing thirst for knowing we have expanded beyond our survivalist nature. We are evolving into a search for comfort and building on how to maintain that comfort. We are leaps and bounds away from the "uncomfortable" forest. Yet, we are more miserable now than we were when survival was the only thing on our mind.

As we began to think more...we needed to create an "idea" of a world that would make sense to us. That is where "maya" came to be. Maya is a false idea of reality. Intellectualization has led to us having to create false realities to explain our inner turmoil. Consciousness was expanded from survival focus to Maya focus.  We created a character= "me". We then wrote some plays, set up some stages, and began acting some roles. That became real to us. It became the only reality.

We are much more technologically and intellectually advanced...but we are farther away, as a result, from that inner knowing primitive man had. We are much more miserable.  It takes a lot more than a full belly to make us or keep us happy. Why? We are lost in "ideas" and the need to "prove it" therefore we are lost in maya. This stage is not real people!  There is so much more to reality than what can be picked up with the five senses, of what can be created in the human mind. 

My own mind has gone from a survival tendency, to an intellectual or "let me explain why" tendency and that has left me feeling pretty miserable. I created and got lost in this play. I became the character of "me" and somehow, in a way I do not yet fully understand, I have created the scenes around me or enhanced the drama in my attempt to control it. It became so real to me. Now, I feel caught in a heavy drama I ...as an actor lost in character...really do not want to be in.

I am still evolving so I, like many other humans, can see that is what is happening.  I can see both what is happening on the stage and to some degree what is happening off stage. I know I want to spend more time off stage. I know it is more "real" back here than it is up there. I catch myself waking up on stage ...I step back into the audience....I do my best to stay in the audience but...because I am far from evolved...I find myself back on the stage thinking it is real again and again. For me it is when I am on stage that I am miserable, and when I am off stage that I find the peace I long for.  This is where I am in my evolution....caught between two seemingly real worlds. This is where I am meant to be. ...for now.

The Susceptible Inner Nerves of Intellectualization

Consciousness is experiencing a person waking up through this human I call "me". When I am on stage only so much of the collective unconscious flows through  a very narrow door in my mind and into my experience. Albeit, what flows through is much more than it was during my pre-intellectualizing days but not as much as it could be. The door is only partly open. I can go only so far beyond "surviving mode". Now this mind is also flooded with thinking, believing, ideation, opinion, judgement, preference, craving, aversion etc. This stuff is piled up on the inside of the door, jarring it, and preventing it from opening more. It is in the way of allowing that connection, that intuition, and non-conceptual knowing that the primitive man experienced from coming through. So, I feel separated from it...therefore alone and miserable.  It is also blocking "shakti" flow...so the natural joy and love that I am, cannot pour through. I don't feel that joy! I feel the absence of it!  So, I go looking outward onto the stage and its drama to make me feel better inside. Of course, it doesn't take long to realize that this physical world stuff is not going to fix what is happening inside. That equates to more suffering, more misery. That is where I am still spending most of my time.

When I am off stage, different ball game. I feel peace, joy, awareness of Truth.  I see so clearly the stage in front of me and I know it isn't real.  I see that I sometimes play a role up there but that is not who I am.  I see that is just the physical world and the physical body. There is so much more to reality than that, than what can be picked up with the five senses. The door in my mind opens more and more and more stuff pours through. I see inklings of truth pouring through; with it trickles of pure peace and joy! I know...Who I am cannot be confined to a form, to a place, to a certain level of knowing. I want to fall deeper back.  I want more than the inklings of Truth or the trickles of joy coming through this door. I want it all. I want to trace those trickles back to the Source. At the same time, unfortunately, I know I have a ways to go. Though I don't want to leave this place, I know I am going to be pulled back into the drama of the physical plane again and again. I suffer knowing I am going to repeatedly suffer the loss of this place and the drama of the other. The drama on stage seems even more heavy after connecting with the lightness of higher consciousness. Sigh! 

This is the stage of evolution I am, as this human, at. My goal is to stay off stage but before I can I have to accept, and embrace, honor and learn from the physical realm that I keep getting pulled back to. I keep getting pulled back into the drama for a reason.  I still have much, much learning to do. 

Sigh!

Wow! That helps me to see a bit more clearly why I suffer so.  Thanks to teh collective unconscious for allowing that insight to come through.

All is well in my world.