Okay with Not Being Okay?

 How can I be okay with, respect and honor the humanity that is down there as it experiences pain?

Michael Singer

I realized after I wrote my spiel yesterday that I was okay with not being completely okay on this important part of this journey. 

There is something cool about witnessing not being okay. If I am witnessing and observing it, I am not that which is being witnessed or observed.  Once again I am Objective Observer watching this human I call "me" tramp around the physical world looking for that which "I am." (The light).  So, there is the witness "I am" and there is this human I call "me" that the witness is watching. The Observer is not really impacted by what the human is experiencing, just as the sun is not impacted by what it shines on.  

I can be okay with;  I can respect;  I can even honor the humaninty of this human as it experiences pain and struggle.  "I" can be okay with "me" not being okay. 

Cool, eh?

Off to breakfast with friends.

All is well.

Right Understanding

 If you understand what is going on, you will find your way out. 

Michael Singer

I truly believe I understand what is going on and what needs to be done to end this perception of "suffering"for this body and mind I call "me" in this human experience I elected to have in it. I believe I have "Right Understanding" as I travel along this eight fold path.  I do...

But...

 It is really difficult! I have not yet found my way out of the mess this "me" has put itself in.  I see the light and I am heading for it but I have to make my way around this busy chaotic mess to get there. There is so much automatic programming in my subconscious mind that  has the ability to pull this amazing consciousness, that I know I am, down into the chaos of this "busy world". There are so many powerful samskaras being released at one time it seems. So, the experience of "shame and fear" is so great in my Life right now. Shame probably more so than fear. I have the experience of feeling ashamed of almost everything this human does, what this human is. I forget who I am in this distraction, and see myself as this "fearful, shame-based human." 

On top of the samskaras coming up, I also have Life doing what Life does. Though I have enough "Right Understanding" to know that Life is not 'picking on me' or punishing me, that it is just doing what Life does, it is challenging to constantly get hit in the face by circumstances. I grasp and cling for every ray of light I can find in the form of purpose, wholesome activity, change, that will get me to my destination, that will end this sense of suffering. I do things, create things, seek out help from others in hope that will get me there. Instead of getting closer, I am reminded again and again that ego is still so active both in its tendency to shame and its tendency to redeem. So, I end up experiencing more of this shame as it gets triggered again and again to come to the surface when I recognize how my ego is still running my life. Sigh! 

I truly want to "Rightly Understand" that this samskara triggering I am experiencing now is a good thing...that I am healing and purifying so more light can shine through.  But Man, does it ever suck to feel it over and over again. It puts me in a low energy state which I know is counterproductive to my mission. Life reacts by giving me more of what I am putting out there. It is a vicious cycle.

It just feels like a lot right now. 

I am so much more aware of "ego" than I ever was.  I know true healing means getting beyond ego...going deeper...and I think I have in many ways as I take on one project after another...only to discover that there is another spiritual ego at play.  I will suddenly recognize this ego in the motivation of some of my human activities, goals, thought processes and Boom! There is that big fat samskara of shame to greet me once again. 

Right understanding starts with awareness.... If you are not aware ...you are not here. Consciousness is the beginning and ending of all meaning. Awareness is the foundation of the meaning of everything.

"I am in here aware of things..." "Who is aware of your thoughts?" is  a much better life affirming question to ask than, "What are your thoughts?" 

I am aware at moments...I believe ...but I seem to keep slipping from the "felt experience " of awareness to living in "an idea of someone seeking awareness." 

I keep getting lost in what consciousness is staring at, rather than what consciousness is.  I know the experience I seek is the maintenance of the felt experience of living as consciousness rather than repeatedly getting lost in the objects of consciousness.  

Consciousness is so distracted so it it is identified with what it is looking at.

[Enlightenment is when] consciousness itself ceases to focus on the individuality of your thoughts, your emotions, your drama and focuses on consciousness itself.

Though I obviously have a lot more work to do with purifying and getting beyond ego's hold on me...I find some solace in this statement..

"I am not right but I can see why I think the way I think and perceive the world the way I perceive it."

I know where is is all coming from both psychologically and spiritually and why. I see what is happening and what this mind of mine is doing. That in a way says...I do have right understanding... doesn't it? There is so much "Right Understanding" there . That is, until I find myself asking the powers that be:

"Did I really ask for this return to light  to be this hard before I incarnated? What was I thinking?" 

I just have so much more work to do and I am so tired. Is it really supposed to be this hard? Or am I just an extra messed up human? 

Belief in the notion that I chose these challenges  for a growth purpose this human does not yet understand is helping me to get through the day. It is easier to look up towards what some would refer to as the woo-woo than it is to look down at the mess. I am trying to look over the mess as I make my way to the light. Unfortunately I cannot seem to keep my eyes up.  I get pulled from this Seat of consciousness down into the muck of these objects of consciousness again and again. I cannot avoid what is in front of me. Maybe, my approach is wrong.  Maybe. I need to ask this question: 

How can I be okay with, respect and honor the humanity that is down there as it experiences pain?

I don't know yet but I will keep working on the undersatnding so I can make my way through this mess.

Is it naturally the way you want it to be? No Why? Because things are the way they are.

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( November, 2025) Right Understanding: The Journey Back to Self. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zo9eQa4x9OY&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=2

Vivekanada on Self-Response-Ability

That which I created I can demolish; that which is created by someone else I shall never be able to destroy. Therefore ...Stand up, be bold, be strong. Take the whole responsibility on your own shoulders, and know that you are creator of your own destiny. All the strength and succour you want is within yourselves. Therefore make your own future. "Let the dead past bury its dead."  The infinite future is before you, and you must always remember that each word, thought, and deed, lays up a store for you and that as the bad thoughts and bad works are ready to spring upon you like tigers, so also there is inspiring hope that the good thoughts and good deeds are ready with the power of a hundred thousand angels to defend you always and for ever. 

Vivekananda 2.5.11B Chapter 11B: The Cosmos, Complete Works

What is meant by the above quote?

Vivekanada is speaking to the notion that we are responsible for the mess we have inside and therefore our experience of Life.  If it is less than pleasant because of our tendency to store the bad and the negative and the challenging energy that is derived from certain situations in the form of samskaras...blaming others and Life for our unhappiness does nothing but create more suffering.  When we realize we are responsible (response-able= able to respond) we respond in a strong, bold, and empowered way. We take accountability for our Life experience. 

Responsibility also means recognizing we have the power to change our lives for the better. We do not need to be consumed by negativity...focusing on all the "bad" thoughts and deeds we have stored in the form of samskaras from our past, or those bad thoughts and deeds coming at us from the external world in the present. We can demolish" our tendencies to store negativity, cling to the past, collect grievances, prefer, expect too much from others and life. 

When we become responsible for our own lives...we honour the laws of Karma: aware that every word we speak, every thought we have; every deed we or others choose will have a karmic effect rippling out into our expereince of life. We do not have to store what we experience as "negative" or "bad" when these experiences unfold in front of us either.  We can learn to have faith and trust that we are being surrounded by postive,  "good" and healing  'energy'. (what he refers to as "a hundred thousand angels".) We can choose "good" over "bad". (He is reverting to dualistic terminology to make his point here, I beleive). Good is much more powerful and life enhancing.

So many of us are buried in the past. It doesn't have to bury us.  We can let go of it and the samskaras that cloud the way we see the future. He tells us to "Let the dead past bury itself". ...and to have faith in the "infinite" future before us.  Look forward, move forward in this Life and all the lives to come,  that will take us to the end of samsara. 

We are responsible for what we stuff and store within. We must start choosing to focus on the light and the goodness surrounding us rather than the darkness. 

All is well.

Looking for a Soul Mate?

 Before you meet your 'soulmate', you must first discover your soul.

Charles F. Glassman

I drew this question about soul mates from the jar the other day. Ironically it is something I thought (and wrote) a lot about. Not in the way that would appease the romantic at heart lol. Anyway, here's my take on it.

All is well.

Love Beyond the Fairy Tales

http://www.aquarianonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Enlighten-Up-with-The-Aquarian-Winter-2017-issue.pdf

Oops ...I put a link up there to an article I wrote and checked it out. It took me to something called "Game Changer"...not the press or the article I wrote for The Aquarian in 2017!  Same thing happened to a poetry site I once published on...sigh! How can they take the whole link with the name of the article and everything on it? That link was sent to me as a form of a "Contributer's Copy". How did they get access to that link? That leaves me feeling so very uncomfortable. Don't open this link!!

I checked a great number of links I also have on this blog and they seem okay.  This hijacking must have occurred from the publication end then. Sigh...so much for the immortality of the written word lol. 

Never Coming or Going Back to Zero

 We have been existing eternally, and will exist, and there is no power under the sun or above the sun which can undo your or my existence or send us back to zero.

Vivekananda

Basically, my pal Vivy ( as I like to call him) is saying that we do not die. Who we truly are...as consciousness... does not die.

Can you grasp  that idea as Truth?  It really is a game changer when you can.

All is well. 

Time for the Soul

 How can the soul, therefore, be said to be existing in time, when time itself exists in the soul? It has neither birth nor death, but it is passing through all these various stages. It is manifesting slowly and gradually from lower to higher, and so on. It is expressing its own grandeur, working through the mind on the body; and through the body it is grasping the external world and understanding it.

Vivekananda

Choosing the Voice that Says "Write!"

 I write only because there is a voice within me that will not be stilled.

Sylvia Plath

I tend to write and create things. Then, when I am staring down at what I created,  I will ask the quetsion, "Hmm! Now what am I suppose to do with this?" I guess, I have a tendency to want to still the voice within me more than anything else.  

That being said I do check after I write to see if what I wrote has meaning for others. I check to see, for example, how many people read this blog. I noticed, for the longest time, that the daily numbers on the blog stats page are really high. Recently, however, I noticed that the numbers on Google Analytics are high too. There are a lot more engaged sessions showing up on Google Analytics than there ever was.  Though, engaged time on each entry  from many of the areas  is not very high...it is high enough in some areas to make me question if this is actually getting out there. I begin to think ...maybe this learning is getting through to a couple more people...maybe it makes sense to another one or two people on this planet. Does that mean I am finally fulfilling this blog's purpose of reaching one or two people other than myself? 

I did not have high expectations of being read when I began lol. It is like "Oh Wow!...An 'added on' !" 

I do not have high expectations of "external" reward now.  I am seriously just doing what I feel so compelled to do with every entry, with every less than perfect video.  I listen to the inner compulsion and I write. If I don't, the voice will not be still. 

There is a bit of a tug- of -war going on in my psyche as I reflect on possible outcomes for what I do here. Part of me thinks "Cool...Life is taking care of this." The other part of me is not so sure. Ego is still around with it red-face, cringing in the background, wringing its hands, "Oh No!  How is that woman going to embarass us now? People could actually be reading this.  Doesn't she know she has to be careful about what she says?  What will these people think of us?" 

I have two voices within me, when it comes to this blog.  One says "Write!"; the others says "Don't expose yourself!"  Sigh!It takes a lot to quiet this ego which has manged my life for so long ...to tell it to shut up so I can hear the other voice. I feel this nudge to trust the voice inside me that says "Write!" instead of ego's. This voice that compells me here every day still meets a lot of resistance but it is louder than ego's voice now, more persistent.  It will not be silenced or stilled any longer. I am able to ignore ego's neurotic resistance somehow but I cannot ignore the voice telling me to write. Sigh! I continue to step up to the plate and do my best. 

I have been writing over ego's fear based warnings here since 2011?  (Before that if you count the time I used this platform as a private blog.) Crazy! That is close to 15 years...almost every morning ...becoming a ritual in my daily life. Never knowing why exactly. Never attached to any particular outcome. Just sitting down and sharing what I have been learning despite ego's protests. And the videos ...they put me even more out there. I guess it isn't "me" that I am putting out there. "Me" does not want to be anywhere near the potential less than favorable opinion it may receive from others for doing what I do and for doing it so imperfectly. So, it isn't this human I call "me" I am attempting to put out there but this learning I am gaining for some inexplicable reason that I know I am supposed to share.

It's all a little crazy.

Anyway...thanks to all readers! I appreciate you!

All is well. 

Retreating from the 'Usual self'

 The purpose is to retreat from the usual self, and to discover who you are under the usual self.  This does not happen conceptually.

Eckhart Tolle

The personality, according to Eckhart Tolle,  is basically the commentary of the mind. It is the conditioned "Me" identity. The personality creates a...

...state of latent dissatisfaction hiding under the surface

We need to escape from this suffering identity, from the prison created by our emotionally constructed self. 

 We need to begin the process of disindentification with the 'usual self '(surface self) so we can fall back into the deeper Self. This is the awakening process. 

The deeper Self does not exist in the world of conceptualization...

We do not need "identities", concepts, ideation, beliefs etc. In order to be here fully we do not need to remember our names, our roles, anything the 'little me' or "usual self" believes it is. We need to get beneath all that.  We need to  go deeper. 

True deprivation is not knowing who you are on the deeper level of your being. 

All is well.

Eckhart Tolle ( November 18, 2025) Escape from the Prison of the Mind. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4epjNn6kYs&t=611s

Lost in Creations?

Your life needs to be a balance between creating and not getting lost in your creations.

Eckhart Tolle

I am sitting here with copies of the writing books I wrote beside me,  wondering what I am going to do with them now that the creative part is over.  I also  know there are other books I put even more time and effort into, in a box in my bedroom collecting dust. I forget so often that those other books exist...that I put many, many hours into writing them, into creating audio versions of each chapter, of creating tutorials.  I loved creating them.  I loved learning and teaching at the same time which I did in the creation of those books. Creating was the part that motivated me.  

I had some hope of their future worth to others...that was a motivating factor as well.  I had hoped they would be helpful, Redeemer Ego stepped in every now and again during the creating process to say things like, "Wow! Imagine if you were actually able to sell those books...to launch a new career as a part-time  EAL teacher to take you out of the finacial debt you are in."

I would recognize ego's voice and shut it down pretty quickly with, "This is not why I wrote them." 

 Ego's dreams of its form of success fizzled out quickly with the chirping up of "Shamer Ego".  "Who do you think you are writing such a book and having the audacity to think others might actually want to read it, let alone buy it?"  As it happens, the books just added to my debt. 

To which Redeemer Ego would then respond..."Yeah...but wouldn't that be a cool 'added on'?  :) 

Back and forth the dialogue went until I got so fed up with the monkey mind chatter that I rounded up the copies I had left, put them in a box, and stuffed them in my closet. Sigh! 

It is all good because I truly enjoyed the process. Thinking about them again is leading me to wanting to get them out there and volunteering my time as a tutor to newcomers in the area needing language learning support.  I could do that. ...if others needed and wanted what I had to offer, that is.

Hmm! 

As for the books beside me...I have an idea what do with them besides give them away to the kids...school library etc. Maybe they will get read and maybe they will do some good. Who knows? They are actually pretty good...all these books are.  The effort put into them shows but how they are received, I guess, is not up to me. 

I am not sure if that is a well balanced creative effort or not...but that is where I am at.

All is well in my world. 

Fulfillment is already here now.  A true creation can not come out of neediness.

Eckhart Tolle ( 2021) The Key to Conscious Creation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VXLqLhDDaI

More Wisdom from Eckhart Tolle

You do not have to be grateful for your life situation...but you can always be grateful for Life.

Eckhart Tolle ( somewhat paraphrased)

Eckhart Tolle on Fulfilment and Gratitude for Life

When you look for that goodness that is deep within you in external things...or look for the happy resolution, the happy ending that comes you will never be fulfilled. We need to recognize that we are already fulfilled...have just forgotten that we are. 

This "I am already fulfilled" begins by singling out this moment as much as possible, and noticing how the gratitude arises. 

Look for the goodness within...even in tough life situations...and you will find gratitude for life. 

On the Expression of Emotions

Expression is better than repression but...

The expression of emotion alone  will not free you. Expression can instigate the thought process. The thought processes can create renewal of these emotions.

Sometimes emotions can be transformed or transmuted by merely bring present to them.

We can express without indulging it or personalizing it...just watch it as energy. 

All is well

Eckhart Tolle/ Journey of Awakening (November, 2025) How to Stay Present When Everything Goes Wrong. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prjiYZkLCNE

Suffering and Waking Up

 Suffering is not always neccessary to wake us up, but it helps!

Me

All is well!

"Who Am I?"

 Inquiring into the nature of one's self that is in bondgage, and realizing one's true nature is liberation.

Ramana Maharshi

Before I begin I want to point out that I continually pronounce that name wrong...I often pronounce it as Maharishi...add an "i" between the "r" and the "s"which refers to what Maharshi is.  Maharishi means an honoray title bestowed on a spiritual teacher.  So, I am not completely wrong lol when I add the extra "i" to his name.

Anyway, did three videos on a compulsion. They are imperfect and they are out there...maybe no one will listen; maybe a few will...it doesn't matter.  I felt pulled to do them for whatever reason. And I did. My job in that endeavor is done. The rest is not up to me. :) 

All good.

All is well.

Wisdom from Eckhart Tolle

 The world is not meant to make you happy.  It is meant to make you conscious.

Eckhart Tolle

Drawn to Eckhart Tolle's voice, presence, and shared wisdom over the last two mornings. So, I started jotting down some gems...( some of these tidpits may be paraphrased slightly)

On Lonliness versus Aloneness.

Solitude only arises when you accept aloneness

Relationships will reflect back to you your state of consciousness

If there is egoic dysfunction in you, that will manifest in all your relationships.

On Being Present

Be the consciousness rather than the person

Intensity of presence is important to cut through mind...

External beauty... as in music, art, nature can sometimes dilute the pure beauty of consciousness within...paraphrased...can be an entry point into that

...don't depend on a particular activity to become present...so that you can only be present unless you are doing this activity ( dancing, listening  to muisc or playing an instrumet, climbing a mountain, or driving a fast car) Use those helpful things only  until  you attain presence...than just soak up awareness itself, 

...so that presence is not bound up with one particular activity. paraphrased

On Money Reactivity

...You can become reactive [when dealing with money issues or talk] because you have in your mind that fear is associated with money and money is associated with an idea of scarcity and scarcity...perhaps from your childhood...is associated with the idea of survival...and all kinds of things, unconscious thoughts still live in you

On Reactivity, in general

The goal in that and any situation is to stay present...turn up the light of presence before you go into the situation [that has often triggered you in the past]...totally accept the what is of this moment...be really really present so you don't go into old reactive mode.

It is not you as the personality that emerges [when you are present]..it is the other half that emerges (without reference to the  past) 

...and that which is beyond the personality is freed and shines through [both in you and possibly the other person]

On removing interpretation, judgement, and narrative from the situation unfolding around you

...suddenly you are just standing there and you are breathing and you are looking around. Is that so bad?  It is no longer bad because your mind is nolonger telling you that it is bad. It is what it is.

You begin to realize that most of your unhappiness is derived from unconsconscious thought processes...and suddenly, or gradually, you awaken. But the world continues to challenge you but the challenges helps you...you are no longer drawn into reactivity. 

Every life form is continously being challenged from life.  These challenges bring about alertness. ...and this is how consciousness grows through being challenged. 

Eckhart Tolle/Journey of Awakening (November, 2025) Every Moment is an Invitation to Wake Up. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiOSGJ6zRxk

Eckhart Tolle/ Journey of Awakening (November, 2025) The Most Peaceful People Simply Stop Fighting Life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCIRrqgAtPc

 

Unworthy of the Holy Mind?

 Joy is all there is. Anything else is a preoccupation of the ego, unworthy of your holy mind.

Doreen Virtue ( many years ago before the transition)

I am thinking of Doreen Virtue's transition from what is roughly deemed as "new age" to her fundamentalist Christian beliefs. She introduced me to this concept of talking to "my angels"...well not really...as an Irish Catholic, I grew up saying the Gaurdian angel prayer every night....but she got me talking and even writing to my gaurdian angels everyday. (This is the first time I shared that in public in fear of being seen as a "woo-woo crazy lady"  lol. a little too late for that eh?) 

What a transition she has made.  Growing up in the metaphysical realm of understanding, becoming a psychologist, and from there going off in search of even  more metaphysical connection  she has become an icon in the spiritual self-help movement. Though she focused on the metaphysical, she never initally rejected the dogma of the religions that surrounded her. She embraced all religions, seeing one path to God. Though I only touched the fringes of her teachings because I myself was much too skeptical, for some reason, what she said and wrote resonated in me, in many ways. Thus my writing in a devotional journal since 2014, entitled "Dear Angels..." Now, she has renounced and denounced everything she has ever taught. This left me very confused.

Hmm! Well today, after being encouraged to connect to these angelic forces by Laura Lynn Jackson, the author of Signs I reopened that journal to my first entries in that devotional...which ironically started this time of the month 11 years ago. Every early entry began with an angel message from one of her books...and they were beautiful messages, getting past the shame, fear, despair that fills the human psyche and touching something within me. They "felt" true and real. Much truer than many of the messages I got from my own religion and the related scripture and dogma. 

Preoccupation with ego?

As I was reading her old messages I couldn't help but wonder how she went from such a loving, unconditional approach and  connection with the Divine to such a fear and shame based one. I did some research (and I do not know anything but) I see it was fear that brought her where she is now. I believe from what I read that it was ego that brought her into the public eye as a spiritual teacher and it was ego ...a very broken, paranoid, and fearful one...that brought her to where she is now. She was preoccupied with ego!

Huh?

No doubt the "New Age " movement is an ego based one. It is a multi billion dollar industry for a reason...things, including people, need to be promoted and sold. There is a population out here grasping for meaning and willing to buy up what is being sold. Many, many teachers get into this movement to reap  the rewards of the industry. Ego is very, very much active in many of these teachers...even the teachers I love to listen to, even the ones who may have been truely divinely inspired and gifted. So, when ego is involved there is bound to be ego inflation. When egos are inflamed in this material world where everything is at one's bidding...it is easy to get lost ...as many do. Teachers can lose touch with their internal motivations for the splendor of material success. That doesn't mean that some of them  didn't start out "connected" to something deeper.  Doreen Virtue started off experiencing the metaphysical understanding of things. From what I read I never heard her say that everything she said she experienced was a lie. She never said she was not gifted as a medium...she just said she discovered from reading a passage in Deuteronomy that it was a sin to use those gifts. They were evil. I immediately had visions of women with such gifts being burned at the stake. Who determines it is a sin?  The Bible or a patriarchal society?

I do not take the bible quite as literaly as a fundamentalist Christian might.  I see how open for interpretation and human intervention it is. So much was lost in translation, so much was lost and so much was removed in order to serve who...God or man? 

My open mind...my analytical mind...my love of science mind...my "Holy Mind" will continue to question anything metaphyiscal but I will often ask myself...what teaching, what belief, what understanding "feels" more real. In this case...her old teaching or her new? What do you think I might choose? What is truly unworthy of the Holy Mind?

Anyway...I pray for an understanding of Truth for all beings. May she find peace where she is now.

All is well. 

Are Mediums Real?

 We begin to understand that being alive on earth right now, in this moment, is a great gift-and that our choices affect not only our lives, but also the great tapestry of light and energy that is our world.

Laura Lynn Jackson, Signs, page xxi

I am reading Signs, (2019; The Dial Press) by Laura Lynn Jackson.  I seemed to have come full circle.  I started my quest for higher understanding beyond the psychological and physical nature of things by exploring mediumship.  I was ferociously hoping that this path would help me to tap into something that would explain the non physical and higher states of consciousness by connecting the physical to the invisible realm on the "Other Side." My skeptical, need-science- to prove- mind didn't get what it needed from this exploration. I couldn't understand why there was not more specific detail coming from that otherside...more "undeniable proof". Sure there were some details but most of what I witnessed could be chucked up to cold readings through mentalism. Though I truly wanted to believe, I became very skeptical of mediumship. 

That is until I listened to the Telepathy Tapes and reviewed the work done by Dr. Diane Powell and other "scientists". In Season 2 of the Tapes, I was introduced to Laura Lynn Jackson.  Since she underwent strict scientific investigation to prove her gifts were real...I found myself intrigued. Maybe, I said to myself, I need to explore this area a little more.

I am now reading "Signs." I am hoping it will calm my skepticism and open me up more to all that  I cannot perceive with my five senses.

Hmm! 

All is well. 

Feeling Down? Bring the Focus Up!

 

To see your thoughts you must look down from the seat of consciousness

Micheal Singer

I am looking down from the Seat of Consciousness at a body battling a flue bug and a mind worrying about it "turning into" another bout of pneumonia.  I have had this bug for a week now, waxing and waning, and I was so distracted by other life circumstances I never really thought about it. I had my grandson for a couple of days , was finishing up a blanket for one of the grandchildren, deciding what I would do with these books I wrote, read another book or two, writing and practicing certain things related to higher consciousness,  dealing with one little crisis after another etc. My focus  staid up at one level. I knew I was sick...I felt it... but I never really thought about it and therefore I was not overwhelmed with the symptoms.  Now, I am without those distractions so I am feeling the bug, and observing the mind do its thing with it. It is bringing my focus "down", so I am feeling more "down" physically,mentally, and emotionally. I am staring down from a Seat of awareness and I have the expereince of being "down". 

No one is depressed...they are staring at a depressed psyche

The Seat of the Objective Observer is the Witness Consciousness. Observation from here is simply observation and experience without  judgement, thought, feeling, etc. When we start adding "me" to the equation...what "me" is observing and experiencing in this small slither we are given to see....we bring this amazing consciousness down , down, down ...narrowing the focus smaller, smaller, smaller...and we start to become consumed with what "me" is perceiving, judging, preferring based on a psyche full of past experiences that do not match reality.  We are bringing our God focus down.

Here we are rays from the brilliant sun, rays from the greatest Source here to experience Life for that Source. 

What are you showing God right now...your junk?

We do not need to bring that focus down. We need to remind ourselves who we are and why we are here. We are...rays of beautiful light... being chiselled by these small seemingly individual experiences...We are not meant to get stuck or lost in them, the way we get when we  focus down...we are meant to shine brilliantly for the Source from which we come.

Bring that focus up away from "me".

All is well. 

Michael A. Singer/Temple of theUniverse/ Sounds True ( November, 2025) Chiselled By Life-The Purpose of Every Moment. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kt5QmIMMNPA&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Not Taking It Personal

They don't not like you, they don't like the part of them that doesn't feel good in your presence.  That has nothing to do with you...liking and disliking is about them. 

Michael Singer

Imagine not being afraid of what people might think of you.  So many of us are people pleasers, trying to get people to "like us" so we can feel good inside, doing whatever we can so they have a good opinion of us.  We feel inflated when they demonstrate approval, and deflated and ashamed when they don't. How we feel inside often depends on how others think about us. Isn't that crazy?

You see, they, the other people, are not really concerned about us at all...they are concerned about how they feel when they are with us.  Are our samskara ridden personalities triggering their samskara ridden personalities? If so, they might believe they dislike us.  Do our samskara ridden personalities stroke, inflate, or avoid agitating their samskara ridden perosnalities?  If so they may believe they like us. 

It really isn't about us all and our need for their approval has nothing to do with them at all. We all just want to avoid upset to our own minds and thus that feeling of discomfort we experience when a samskara is rising to the surface. It has nothing to do with "other person".

\Anyway, that is the way I see it. We need to:

Be independent of the good opinion [and less than good opinion] of other people.

Abraham Maslow

Michael A. Singer/Temple of teh Universe/ Sounds True ( November, 2025) Work at the Root: Why the Mind is Restless. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75RXJxYOHaQ&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=3

Opening the Eyes Slowly

 

Anyone who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eyes are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light.

Plato, The Allegory of the Cave

Why are we not estatic all the time, feeling the flow of what is known as "Shakti" in our lives, feeling joy and peace and bliss, absolutely loving it all? Ancient eastern traditions teach that this is our birth right...to experience. Yet, most of us experience life through a very narrow and very "personal"  lens. We do not see the whole picture, the Truth, and full reality through this lens.  Our lives and our sense of reality are so small and narrow. 

Could it be that our opening and closing reaction to what Life throws our way is a protective mechanism the mind uses to keep us from exploding. Maybe Truth and reality, are at this point, too big and blinding for us? 

Huh?  Singer tells us we are "programmed" into selective reactivity/resistance by the experiences of our lives. We are conditioned, then, to close according to personal preferences. That's part of it. The other part is we are so lost in these false ideas of who we think we are as seperate little beings at the mercy of all going on around us that we don't see the whole picture.

We Don't See the Whole Picture?

Why don't we see the whole picture! Why don't we and why did the mind decide to open and close to the tiny bit we are experiencing?  

The mind may be actually trying to do us a favor. Neuroscientists, like Don Hoffman, tell us we close to so much of our reality because we might not, as humans, be able to handle it while in human form. 

We, according to many, are chained to a false projection of who we think we are in a world that seems so real but is actually only a simulation or projection. Its a misperception. We perceive being limited and seperate beings judging reality to be only what shows up as matter in front of us  ...like those who were chained in the cave of  Plato's allegory and seeing reality as the shadows being cast on the wall before them. In a modern take on this allegory, Hoffman says, in truth, we are all one consciousness wearing different  headsets in some virtual reality. The sense of a seperate body comes from the virtual reality headset we wear. Each unique sensory system in each  body is the VR headset we wear. What we perceive through each unique  headset becomes our reality. We get so lost in it...we believe it to be all of it. We see the body we are moving around in as the Avatar. We are "chained" to these avatar bodies believing them to be who we are.  We believe the information we pick up with these limited sensory headsets is all there is to reality. There is, however, so,so much more to Truth than this simulation, these shadows we are perceiving. Hoffman's theory goes a bit beyond "The Simulation Theory" many physicists are proposing. 

The point I want to make here...regardless of what theory you agree with...is that we can only perceive what we can handle.  Reality is too expansive ...too grand to know it all through these human brains.  The brain can only allow so much truth in. The body can only handle so much "shakti" at a time. So as long as we are in this body, the sense limitations and the selective preferring protect us from seeing too much, perceiving too much .  There had to be a narrowing of the reality projection that comes through our sensory headsets, a filter. 

Protection?

We close to protect the avatar and its headset maybe? The neurological parts of the body are protecting us through this closing. Of course, the mind is not the brain...it is beyond the brain...and the brain and its sensory system is just a virtual reality system...There is a deeper reality beyond the VR system that is responsible for the VR system. The ancient rishis who truly experienced this free flow of shakti...experienced this reality at a deeper level...without the headset.  They showed that the  headset can be removed and we can experience all of reality with this free flow of shakti pouring through us. Some consciousness researchers like Hoffman are trying to come up with a scientific approach of removing the headset or developing another one taht allows us to experience all of reality. 

But...just like getting re-exposed to the brilliant light of the sun after years of being trapped in a dark cave...we have to gradually reacclimate ourselves to the energy we long denied. 

When the headset is removed, we see everything clearly, there are no more veils of protection, and we have a free flow of shakti. The rishis called it "liberation" and believed that practice and meditation could help us to remove the veil so we can reexperience the light gradually over an extended process. I have heard many warnings when I first started practicing yoga to be careful...Someone said, "You do not want to wake up too fast! It could be dangerous to have this shakti flowing through in a fast moving torrent all at once. It is like an intense electric current that you might not be grounded enough to handle. You. also, might not be able to handle all of reality all at once.  It might blow your mind. So, open your eyes slowly." 

I often think of those prisoners being unchained from the cave in Plato's allegory.  They were taken out side into the sun after years of darkness and forced to see the brilliance of the sun. Without preparation this "going into the light" can actually be blinding. 

We can remove the headsets during this life time. We do need to release and let go of the samskaras blocking this shakti flow.  But it is a process.  We do need to be careful!

Let's look to both science and spirituality to guide us into a more gradual and gentle way of opening the eyes of awareness, to an expanded reality, and to Truth. 

Hmm! Anyway, how I ramble. 

Mayim Bailik's Breakdowm( November, 2025) Everything You See is a Lie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OebT03UQWls

Michael Singer/ Temple of the Universe/Sounds True (November, 2025) Unconditional Well Being  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z35gmZRp9A&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Loving Self

 Love yourself as if your Life depends on it, because it does.

Anita Moorjani

I am starting to see more and more how important it is to love ourselves as we are now...to see beyond the broken personality and the ailing body, which are both  a result of a lack of awareness and purposeful self-love,  to the unwounded soul which is Love. Hmmm!

All is well

Learning From Others

 The key to becoming a master [at anything] is to take what is necessary from others, use it to identify your own natural talent or skill, and then create something equally effective, but is hoped with much greater simplicity and grace. 

Joseph McMoneagle

Knowing...in a Blink of an Eye

 To be in the sense means to know, and to know is to add energy to energy, life to life, love to love. Such is the way of the universe.

Michael Random

This was a passage from the opening quote in Joseph McMoneagle's book, Remote Viewing Secrets, which I have somehow been led to read. One idea about understanding consciousness as the primordial field that underlies everything and no-thing...led to another...and another...and here I am contemplating something as "woo-woo" as remote viewing. If I wasn't a believer in this primordial field before, I am believing now. I think my own personal practice may just lead me to a certain "knowing."

In the list of requirements needed to practice such a "woo-woo thing" McMoneagle states:

Finally, a continued and balanced pursuit of the truth will be required. You must, above all else, sustain your ability to think critically, to ask questions, to maintain a healthy skepticism, and to walk the centerline of acceptable reality....The distance between knowing something to be true, and believing it, can be measured in less than a blink of an eye.

That is all I will say ...for now at least.

Joseph McMoneagle (2000) Remote Viewing Secrets. Crossroads Press.

Healing from Samskaras

 I will stay with it and endure through suffering and hardship and once the heaving sea has shaken my raft to pieces, then I will swim.

Homer (The Odyssey)

I do not understand the Google analytics: Such high numbers from all over the world noted as "engaged sessions" but when one checks the engagement time...they see 0 seconds. How can they be called engaged sessions when they are only on for a second.  When I check the posts of what was read over the course of the last 24 hours, I see far less numbers:  4, say on one post, 2 on another...and that seems more realistic.  Is it? The writer in me that naturally seeks a reader to complete the cycle...would be happy with those numbers on the post page ...very happy. The human in me, who still doesn't trust the universe as much as she wants to ...is worrying over why she is getting such high numbers on Google analytics.  Why are these high numbers with little to no engagement registering on a site that is suppose to eliminate that noise?  What do these bots or whatever they are want? Can they do damage in one way or another? What would they get from coming to this site?  This IT impaired mind just doesn't understand it. When I do not fully understand something...I am left with an uncomfortable feeling that drives me to know more. :) 

Regardless, I keep writing. I keep doing my thing. 

Anyway....

I have been thinking and talking about Samskaras alot and see purifying from them as the truest form of healing and liberation.  That sounds so woo-woo when I say it like that, because of the selected terminology I use. 

I can change how I phrase that to:  I am thinking about psychological healing by examining how we have  repressed and suppressed (stuffed and stored)  painful memories from our past in our subconscious forming unhealthy beliefs, and how those core beliefs and trapped emotional energies can haunt us through out our lives . Running from them by pushing them down, numbing from them with substances, avoiding triggers etc doesn't work. We need to heal by understanding what we have hidden away inside us and letting it go- that means being willing to face the pain we stuffed and stored. Without this painful barrier in the way we will be free to experience life fully and joyfully. 

Does that sound any better? 

However we put it...so, so many of us need to heal. I use the terms and methods of yoga, you may use the terms and methods offered by psychotherapy ...but they are all referring to the same thing! We need to heal so we can live the lives we are meant to live. 

Anyway, I watched a documentary on Netflix last night about an alternative form of PTSD treatment for veternan Navy Seals: a combination of psychodelics: Ibogaine which is used to open up a person to what they have supressed and repressed and then 5-MeO-DMT to open them up to higher consciousness.  One exposes and brings the samskaras to the surface of awareness; the other opens them up to a way of viewing Life without them ( liberation...in the yogic view). It was pretty cool to watch these big rigid men who have been conditioned to hide all emotion and to adamantly resist such "hippy nonsense" go through the process of purification: facing and healing from their samskaras. 

Plant therapy might offer humans  a quick means to purify. Regardless if we seen combat or not, most of us have some childhood trauma stuffed within us that is coloring the way we process through life as adults.  For many, it is holding us back from experiencing what we could be experiencing.  Infact, despite what these Seals have experienced on the battlefront...the Ibogaine carrying plants took them beyond that to show them the real traumas they needed to heal from which, occured when they were children. Hmm!

The transformation these suicidal vets underwent were remarkable. They discovered a joy in Life they never had since they were children. Imagine, having that!

I am using yoga to purify and heal from my samskaras.  It is a slow and somewhat painful process. Sometimes, I say to myself, "It would be nice to accelerate this process, just blast these samskaras up to the surface, deal with them and be done." I considered plant medicine. I have. Yet, here I am still going the slow and painful route. Why? Besides being somewhat terrified of having to face head on and all at once what I have stuffed in here, I am actually enjoying the learning process the slow route offers. 

Sigh ! I don't know. Maybe someday I will change my mind and go the plant therapy route. Who knows.  For now, it is important that we all recognize the need to heal, cleanse, purify ( whatever word you choose to use to describe this process) and begin doing so.

All is well. 

Bonnie Cohen & John Shenk's (2024) In Waves and War. Neflix

The Shame, Heaven, and Added-Ons of Writing and Serving

 

If the book is true, it will find an audience that is meant to read it.

Wally Lamb

I just finished a five day stent of work, revisiting the work and the students I dealt with last year. It was lovely!  Physically exhausting...I have not worked full days, let alone so many in a row,  for eons...and my heart, I have been noticing, is just a bit more off than it was last year. So...yeah it was a challenge but a challenge I embraced.

 When I left last year, I was contemplating whether or not this human I call "me"  made a difference in the learning or in the lives of these newcomer students. When I received the many hugs I received on my return, I thought , maybe I did, just a bit anyway. Maybe this need to serve and make a difference was met to some degree at least. I question, however, if ego was stepping in the way of true service. 

Ego, Service, and the Written Book

The same with the books I have written. Copies of the book I wrote for newcomer parents are boxed and collecting dust.  I sent copies to where I thought it might be needed, gave a copy to the people I mentioned in the dedication, and I did tutorials and read alongs on a youtube channel...I did all that type of work ( it was a lot)...but I did not promote the book. Why?

Detached from Outcome?

 From the beginning, I did my best to detach myself from outcome. I spent a great deal of human effort, time, and money from this book's inception to its conception. I truly enjoyed doing that! I really did enjoy the process. I knew the process was intended for others, more so than "me" but I did not get it out there. When I first came up with this idea, I said, if it becomes something people want and can use...wonderful; if it doesn't, at least I will enjoy the process of creating.  And I did. I truly enjoyed the process...all of it.  It filled me with a meaningful and purposeful distraction and direction.  Selfishly, it also helped "me" to learn what I felt I needed to learn to do my job. 

I suppose though that getting what we finished out there so it can be seen, heard, or in this case used...is also part of the process of creating. Maybe, promoting this book was part of that? I did not do much in that area. I have never felt comfortable promoting myself and my so called creations.  Maybe, I would have promoted it more, but  Ego had stepped in, as it sometimes does, to chatise me and shame me, "Who do you think you are writing a book for people who probably don't want it or need it? Who are you to hand it out to people who likley want nothing to do with it?  Being a bit cocky, aren't you?"

 I listened and stepped back, more than a bit embarrassed that I gave a copy to anyone. Sigh! I put the books in a box, walked away, and it  all kind of fell into obscurity...which is okay.  I truly wasn't that attached to outcome. Yet, something now tells me  that I didn't do enough.  This process was never about "me" but about serving those who needed, or at least could benefit from, what I have to offer. The book has to be placed in an area where it can be see, and used. I might take a copy to  the public library. If one person gets something from it...it is all good. Sigh!

And with the "You Can Write" series I started and did so much work on: When I brought the books to school, I found myself so hesitant to hand them out...to bring them to the library like I originally planned to do...I questioned the cover, found other tiny little proofing errors in the text that I dwelled on etc. It was like, "Oh My God, What am I doing? Who do I think I am?" Instead of being proud of what I created, like I seemed to be the day before, I was once again embarrassed and ashamed. 

Who Am I to Assume I Have Something Valuable to Offer?

No one asked me for either type of book.  I just "assumed" a need from my observations and set out to fill that need in a way that served "me", the human who loves to write and teach, as well as any human who might benefit from it.  Who am I to assume such a thing? Who am I to think I am the one to fill such a need?

At the same time I question this, I love the process of writing and creating. These books came so easy to me! There was absolutely no citation required because it was all "common knowledge" gained from my years of writing and teaching writing. It was easy and fun. I also got to include my daughter's illustrations with the hope that it would show her her potential. Writing these books was a wonderful experience...in itself.  

Heaven in the Process

I do love the process of writing! That is until it comes to the submitting, or promoting stage. Yuck! That is when Shamer Ego rears its ugly head and attempts to gut punch any pride or fulfillment in the accomplishment out of me. Other than my spiritual motivation not to get attached to outcome, I also have this shame thing keeping me from attaching. Sigh!

So, anyway...I decided in one breath that I would give the  copies I have to the students only....if they wanted them. They wanted them. And I told myself, I did what I intended to do...I helped a few students with their writing and I completed my part in the cycle. All good. When I hand out copies of my books...I never ask for feedback, nor do I intend feedback. I hand out copies to complete my part of the writer, reader cycle. That's all. Few people understand that. My ego doesn't always understand that lol. If I get feedback...be it positive or negative...it is just ego that gets stroked or deflated...not who I am. 

The Added-On

Not attached to outcome, not expecting anything in return I went about my work. Then, one of my old students who I gave a copy to...approached me yesterday and gave me a big hug. "I really like your book," he said with the biggest smile on his face. "And my Mom really liked it too!" I just teared up knowing I just received an added-on.  The writing and the desire to serve in some way was the "Heaven" part of the process, and the positive feedback was simply an "added-on". Who I am at the deepest level...that part that writes to write; that teaches to teach; that truly wants to serve ...didn't need that feedback. It was just a very nice added-on. 

 Shame had no idea how to respond to that realization...so it shrivelled and shrunk away.

All is well.

An Ancient Theory of Everything?

 So, the whole of this universe has been created out of this very universe existing in a minute form. It has been made manifest now. It will go back to that minute form, and again will be made manifest. Now we find that the fine forms slowly come out and become grosser and grosser until they reach their limit, and when they reach their limit, they go back further and further, becoming finer and finer again. This coming out and becoming gross, simply changing the arrangements of its parts, as it were, is what in modern times we call evolution.....[but]...

every evolution is preceded by an involution. 

Vivekananda...

The Blue Jays and the Added On

 But seek ye first the Kingom of God and His righteousness; and all these things will be added onto you.

Matthew 6: 33 KJV 

I am thinking about "the added on" at the same time I think about the amazing game I watched last night: Game 7 of the world series between the Jays and the Dodgers. I am Canadian and the Toronto Blue Jays represent this country.  I had the opportunity to see them play a few times in person at the Dome when my sister lived in TO. Anyway, yeah like most people in this vast country, I really, really wanted them to take the series. The game was absolutely nerve bending. I have never seen a game like it-where it was so, so close with both teams playing an absolutely fantastic game to the absolute nail biting end!! Torontarians really were hopeful from the onset...preparing for massive celebrations in the streets around Roger's Center. And it really, really looked like they might win...

But...they didn't. 

What has this game got to do with a bible passage, Crazy lady?  Are you saying the team and fans didn't get the added-on because they were being shown that they were not faithful enough...that they should  have prayed more?

No...that is not what I am saying...at all.  And from the camera footage of faces both in the dug out and in the stadium...people were praying like I never seen people pray before. lol. I am just looking at this "added-on" as this thing on the end of a stick most of us go after; and I am questioning if we are missing something when the carrot becomes more important than the steps we are taking, the experience we are having in this reality of what is. I am looking at our attachment to outcome. 

Say what, crazy lady??? 

Winning the series was the carrot, right? All teams in the MLB work really, really hard game after game, practice after practice, injury after injury, win after win, defeat after defeat...to get that thing dangling in front of them. They believe they are doing it all for that outcome. It can become the most important thing, when all it is is an added-on. An "added-on" is not necessarily a need or something that will sustain us.  It is just an added piece of bling to an already complete warddrobe.

Huh? Anyway, what about "seek ye first for the Kingdom of God and His righteousness". What does that mean and what has that got to do with the Blue Jays? Are you saying that they all should be more like Christ and then maybe they could  win a title? 

Yes and no.  I am definitely not saying they have to be Christians in the sense of  adhering to  a certain dogma and doctrine man created and called "Christian".  I am simply saying, maybe we all should look at what Christ might have meant by these words. I think this bible passage means...and what the heck do I know, right?...but I think it means: seek the joy, peace, love, bliss in this moment, in you and this Life you have been given to live. Live according to that in a wholesome, loving way...serving the moment, serving humanity, serving all beings on this planet, serving Life by enjoying Life...and then you will be following Christ's direction of seeking first the Kingdom of God which is in you already. (Nor will they say, "Here it is" or "There!" for behold the Kingdom of God is in the midst of you. Luke 17:21ESV).

Regardless of Outcome  

When we do this, we will be experiencing and living Life fully...enjoying it, embracing it, honoring it, and all beings in it regardless of the outcome! We are not seeking the "added-on" when we seek "Heaven" first, we are simply seeking the joy of this experience of living, and  embracing the moment in front of us regadless of what it offers, regardless of any outcome.  If we do end up with the added-on...great!!! If we don't...it won't matter so much! Its just bling.

Observing the Joy of Living

Watching these teams play last night I had this overwhelming sense they were so completely in the zone, so in the moment, so in the life that was unfolding in front of them...that the carrot that lead them there suddenly disappeared. For eleven breath-holding-innings, the players were embracing Life with its hits and its strike outs, its home runs and its runs batted ins, its catches in outfield that were out of this world and its double plays infield that could barely be caught with the human eye.  For every fan that had the courage  to look between the cracks in fingers covering their eyes, it was such a beautiful, beautiful game to watch. It was inspiring and exhilarating to be a part of that as an observer. It must have been an even more exhilarating game to play. 

It was like the drama of life played out before us...with characters rising up and characters falling down...there were flashes of hope, followed by floods of  of disappointment.  There was the expectation built up and the expectation crushed down...but through it all there were the actors putting on a brilliant performance, so lost in their roles that the audience was on the stage with them. It was so obvious they enjoyed playing the game! That's what made the difference. 

It was also like a dance. Though there appeared to be two separate teams...there was only one dance and both danced beautifully together. Call it synchronicity, call it random variables, call it whatever...the Dogers were able to add one more little step to the dance that the Jays were not able to follow. L.A.  got the carrot they were both seeking.  That doesn't mean that the Jays didn't dance well too...they were absolutely fantastic! But...someone in a pair has to take the last step ...this time if was the Dodgers. 

And this is Life...this is experiencing what Christ meant, I believe. Enjoy the play, enjoy the dance...whether you are watching or up there on stage. This ...whatever is unfolding in front of you...be it a win or a loss...is the Heaven you are looking for.

What about that "added-on" ? That carrot?

Most of us seek the carrot because we think it is going to make us feel better....it is going to bring the joy, the love, the bliss. That carrot for the average person could be the great job, the soul mate, the ideal of family, a certain amount of money in the bank, a fancy car or  a social image of success. For the MLB player it is the World Series. So we set our goals, do the work, and go after it. Our focus becomes the carrot that is always up ahead...not this moment. We miss the moment. And the moment is where Heaven is.  When we acheive the thing we were seeking or receive the thing we wanted...we are high for a few moments...until the next carrot is put up in front of us. When we don't get what we were seeking from the external world...we feel great disappointment and loss, thinking, "Look at all the work I did to get this...all I sacrificed and gave up...and I didn't get it!" 

No One Lost!

If you are already full to the brim with the experience of Life...what is a wrinkly old carrot going to give you? What is a little bit more bling going to add to your life? You need to see that you could have gotten "It!" if "It" wasn't the carrot but the Heaven of the moment you were in. If what you were seeking was the joy of Life, the Heaven of being alive that was already within you...than if you went there seeking that first instead of after the carrot...you would have gotten and experienced what was truly important.  The trophies, the wins, the material things we might gain...are just "added-ons"...meaning they are not the essential gifts of Life...just little extras, a little bling. And if you already have Heaven , what do these things add to your Life in the true sense?...absolutely nothing. 

When players play ball like both teams played last night...the carrot was not the important thing, being in that game and giving it all one has...was.  And man did they show how much they loved to play the game, how much they were in this Life, by the performance they put on. Both teams won! The Dodger's got the carrot and they deserved it but what both teams got was alot more than an added-on...they received, and shared the joy of living, a little "heaven" with the world.

All is well. 

Max Planck?

Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are a part of that mystery that we are trying to solve.

Max Planck

For some reason, I woke up thinking about Max Planck...a founder of modern physics. .

I just finished reading Ervin Laszlo's Science and the Akashic Field and I was so surprised that he did not mention Max Planck once throughout the book. I checked the references and the "must reads", and I could not find anything written by Max Planck. He mentions "modern physics", "quanta",  "Quantum theory", and very briefly "Plank-Volume"  throughout his book, but surprisingly he doesn't attribute it to Max Planck. (You think he would mention that name often amongst the many other names mentioned, seeing himself as kindred spirit to Max Planck being that they were both not only reknown theorists but also musical prodigy's ). Is there a reason for that, and more importantly why the heck do I care? lol

I guess I care because there was the name "Max Planck" stuck in my head this morning. I couldn't shake it. I knew I had to write about him.

Who the heck is Max Planck?

Max Plank was a german born phsyicist who made a name for himself in the scientific world when he won the nobel prize in 1918 for his discovery of energy quanta.

Huh? What is energy quanta and why would I care to know about that? 

Energy quanta is a concept derived by Planck to explain the discrete pockets or packets by which energy is stored and absorbed.  Energy, he believed, was not continous and smooth as previously proposed. If it was it would be infinite. Planck set out to solve the problem of the"ultraviolet catastrophe" by proving that energy was chunky rather than smooth and that it  had specific  frequencies.  This set the framework for a new field of thought called "Quantum mechanics". The formula he prosposed when dealing with black-bodies ( the spectrum of electromagnetic radiation emitted by a heated object) and won the nobel prize for was: E= hf.  E is the energy of the quanta, f is the frequency and h is the constant he derived (this would later be called the "Planck constant").  With this theory, he turned classical "Newtonian" physics upside down. 

Prior to his discoveries, physics was said to be a completed study. Scientific mentors told him that there was nothing left to study and know in the area of theoretical physics. Planck, however, showed that what scientists thought they knew about the universe was not the be all or the end all.  Much more "knowing" had to be discovered about what was happening at the atomic and subatomic level. 

His theory set the groundwork  for the "Matrix" theory developed by Heisenberg in 1925 (the movies "The Matrix" were based on this theory), as well as  eleven "string"  theories which later developed into one "Super string" theory. Science still has lots to study and learn about the nature of the universe..

Science did not and will not solve the basic mystery of nature, life, and the universe. Why? We are a part of that which we are trying to solve.

This man  basically changed the way we perceived, thought and made sense of our world! That is why it is important to remember the contributions of great thinkers like Max Planck. 

All is well. 

 Ervin Laszlo ( 2007) Science and the Akashic Field. Inner Traditions: Rochester

Internet Archive/Max Planck, (1932) Where is Science Going?  https://archive.org/details/whereissciencego00plan_0/page/40/mode/2up

Handling it?

 I am here; I am conscious; the world is unfolding in front of me; and I am going to handle it. 

Michael A. Singer

Do you remind yourself of that on a daily basis? I don't always.  Sometimes I get lost in the drama of this "little me" and I forget to remind myself that "I can handle this!" 

I sometimes forget to work with my thoughts.

Most of us, in fact, are indirectly working with our thoughts by trying to manipulate the outside world, and blaming others and things outside ourselves for those thoughts. We do ths instead of working directly with our thoughts by being aware of them, looking deeply into them, and reconstructing them etc...that is taking responsibility for our thoughts.  Most of us are projecting "me" onto the other person?

Singer reminds us that.... 

It is your mind...you can think any thought you want. 

Yet, what thoughts do we tend to think. If it is true that 95 % of our thoughts are negative...man are we in trouble. We expect Life to be a certain way and when it isn't we deem it as unfair...thus leading to a download of negative thinking...that we blame the world for. Hmm!

It is not suppose to be the way you want...it is suppose to be the way it is. 

We have this amazing Life and this amazing playground to live out that Life on.  Sure there are downs with the ups, challenges with the blessings etc...but Wow! Look where we are and what we have to experience!

How can you waste one minute of the time you are given to be here, not having a good old time? 

So, what do we do when we finally get that and decide to own and manage our thoughts? Some say we should become more spiritual.  "Spiritual", to me, is just a word that points to a better experience of living. 

The bottom line of spirituality: ..."I can handle it because it is the only sane thing to do". 

Spirituality is all about honoring and respecting reality.

All is well. 

Michael A. Singer ( October 29, 2025) The Simplicity of True Spirituality: Learning to Handle Life.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkWfSqFU9VM&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Feel the Goodness

 

Gratitude is inseparable from feeling the goodness of the present moment. Then Life flows with greater ease.

Eckkhart Tolle

Okay the goal here is not to have Life circumstances change so they flow with greater ease. The goal is to to be able to tap into the goodness of the present moment regardless of the circumstances.  Challenges are not supposed to end completely. They are a necessary component of Life. When we are tapped in, however, things may begin to flow a lot more smoothly.

Once we realize  we are

...sustained by the one life underlying all things....you do what you have to do without the stress and everything flows with ease.

The practice is signalling out this moment.  And that is the end of stress too. 

Hmmm!

All is well.

Eckhkart Tolle ( October, 2025) How to End Stress and Anxiety. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRUhrvq1sTY&t=674s

Seeing the Difference Between Condition and Story

 Here is what is and here is what my mind is saying about it.

Eckhart Tolle

This is what we observe when we are alert and present, not all caught up in mind stuff, or in our reaction and resistance to external conditions. On one hand we see the external situation and on the other we see what is going on in the mind in reaction to it. The more we are observing from a distance, the more we will see how the two are separate...how one does not have to depend on the other so we do not need to get "disturbed". 

We lose our inner peace so easily, over external conditions, and we do not have to.

...your most precious thing is your inner peace

All is well.

Eckhart Tolle ( October, 2025) Stop Letting Life Control You. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rNYcJRMBm8

Just Another Science Puzzle Coming to the Light of Truth

 Non-local coherence is a bona fide scientific phenomenon, just as real and understandable as light, electromagnetism, mass and gravitation-although initially they appear just as puzzling as they have been. 

Ervin Laszlo, pg 157...Science and the Akashic Field...Inner Traditions/Rochester, Vermont, 2007

I had to keep reminding myself that this book was written before the discovery of the Higgs boson at CERN in 2012. As I was reading, I kept wondering why he was not mentioning the Higgs field etc. 

Anyway...great read. I did, however, get a bit tripped up on all the theories and theorists in this field. So much research was done to prove that nonlocal coherence or entanglement was a real thing. 

All is well

Heaven or Hell?

Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one that gets burned.

The Buddha

There is a couple of buddhist tales I recently heard.  I may be stepping beyond my rights here, but I combined the two into one. My bad. 

There is  zen story about a Japanese monk. During feudal times, samarui warriors were set out to eliminate all buddhists from Japan. Led by a ruthless general, they were vicious, slaughtering, disemboweling, and hanging out the dead bodies of buddhist monks as a sample of what they would do to practicing buddhists. Everyone was terrified. Monks fled in great number, abandoning their monastry's, and went into hiding. All but one. 

Word got out that one monk refused to abandon his monastry.  The general heard this news and was furious. "Who would have the nerve not to be afraid of me and what I can do?" he screamed before jumping on his horse and riding to the monastry. When he and his army burst through the monastry doors they discovered a small and frail looking monk standing in the center of the  courtyard. Still, quiet and unarmed this monk watched the sword yielding general jump off his horse and approach him.  

When the general was close enough, he stood up to his full height and looked down at the little monk. 

"Don't you know who I am???" he shouted pointing the tip of his sharp sword at the monk's belly. "Don't you know I could drive this sword through your belly removing all your insides?"

The monk, unflinching with nothing but equanmity in his eyes slowly  looked up at the warrior general and calmly said,

"Don't you know who I am?" his voice was calm and free of emotion." Don't you know I could allow you to drive the sword through my belly removing all my insides?"

The general shook his head in disbelief . "You do not know what hell is, do you?" 

Again the monk just looked at the warrior and pointing to his heart where this hate was festering, and calmly said, "This is hell." 

The warrior paled with those words and began to tremble recognizing instantly the truth in the small man's words. As if he was being controlled by some other entity he placed his sword, back in his sheath, bowed his head, and began to cry. 

The monk placed a small hand on the warrior's shoulder, an act of complete empathy and forgiveness.

"And this" he whispered. "Is heaven."

All is well.

Teaching, Learning, Wisdom and Being

 My Life is my message

Gandhi

I am not a spiritual teacher.  I have mentioned that many times, have I not? I am just a person seeking  some higher understanding. I am a yogi who is trying to "know" more which is kind of an oxymoron , I suppose. It is wisdom we are all truly seeking and wisdom is not a thing...it is who we are. 

You are wise, you know knowledge

How do we know or tap into wisdom?  Knowledge is gained through studying.  I like to study about yoga, other ancient wisdom traditions, philosophy, science ( right now I am on a quantum physics kick), psychology, poetry and other forms of literature. I like to study through observing Life from a distance. This requires "thinking" . Thinking will not bring wisdom.

The thinking mind is only part of the natural law...it is a happening

Wisdom is gained through experience; through tapping into our being. Life helps us with the wisdom part.  It challenges us.  It teaches us. The human experience of suffering probably teaches more than anything else.

The way is gained by daily loss

While thinking is a happening, wisdom is a being. Thinking can bring great suffering 

You get more stinkin with thinkin, than you can ever get with drinkin...Suffi Sam

Wisdom, on the other hand, can bring us true freedom. The only condition is we have to "be".  We have to "be" fully in Life....the good, the bad, and the ugly of it.  Why is it so hard for us to choose being over thinking? Part of us wants to be free, and the other part is terrified of letting go. 

There is a part of you that wants freedom; and a part of you that wants safety.

We try to think our way to some idea of "safety". Thinking, however, takes us away from being in Life.  If we are not in Life we are not "being", we are doing. Until we are "being" we are not wise and if we are not wise, we cannot teach in the truest of ways...like Gandhi did.

All is well. 

Baba Ram Dass (2024) Ram Dass- Our Salvation Lies in Our Intuition. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sTFhmRZCko

On True Compassion and Helping

 

The act of Compassion...which is the balance of the head and the heart...which is the balance of the perfection, and the imperfection; of the pain and the bliss of seeing the grace, the balance of all that is compassion. And compassion is looking out at the universe and being and allowing people to suffer in the way they choose without judging their suffering...and being available [to help] alleviate the suffering people wish to alleviate ....but not the suffering you are projecting into them.

This hit home today when I was contemplating how to best help those around me who are suffering. There is so much suffering in Life...it is an integral part of the human experience. We can get lost or close down in reponse to this suffering. I have closed down so much at times. Other times I seem to drown in this sense of helplessness that comes from not being able to do enough about it. 

This helps put it all into perspective:

And you have to look around you and see that you are looking at a complete bell shaped curve of evolution all around you, and that some people have different work to do than others. And it is not better or worse...It is just different. And they ahve different work to do.

All you can do for another human being is create an environment. No matter what act you do in relation to them, you create an environment in which they can get free if they choose to get free. And if they don't, you don't lay a trip on them. You can't force people to become free. 

I especially feel hopeless in my own parenting. This was what I needed to hear.:

So like...with a mother and child, you mother, and you nurture, and you protect and you do all that and you are the epitome of motherness in the impeccable warrior sense but you are resting in that place behind all that...a place where there is no mother and there is no child...so if the child would come up for air, you are right there...becausee you have recognized that we are in the world but not of the world.

I am getting there. Grateful for this gentle reminder from Ram Dass.

All is well.

Baba Ram Dass (2024) Ram Dass- Our Salvation Lies in Our Intuition. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sTFhmRZCko

Accepting the Dark and the Light; the Ego and the Oneness

 He who knows not that the Prince of Darkness is the other face of the King of Light knows not me.

Manly P. Hall

In the universal law/laws everything, according to Ram Dass is included....

The One looks out on all of it and sees perfection...

There seems to be so much suffering and chaos in the world. It is hard to integrate and include it all into our daily perceptions and experiences. It is hard to accept that even suffering, challenge, destruction, loss, and chaos are integral parts of being. They are.

It is very hard to know how to integrate all the parts of your being...

Our own so called imperfections and flaws, made so by a dualistic mind, are not necessarily considered imperfections in the laws of the universe, either. Our ego's though sometimes considered "nasty" by other personalities and egos...like the spiritual ego...serve a very important purpose in our growth 

When we are born, we go into somebody training and then [when  we wake up] we go into "nobody" training.

We spend our lives trying to build up this image of being a somebody...we forget who we are. We get lost in the actor and the drama on stage...lost in the "somebody" we created and we enlist the help of others so we can maintain it:

We enter into these conspiracies..."I will make believe you are who you think you are if you make believe I am who I think I am."

Why do we enter into these "conspiracies"? Why do we build and maintain these false senses of who we think we are? Why do we not choose freedom from teh get go? Because our egos somehow make us feel safe.  They do have a purpose we do need them

There is a part of you taht wants to be free; but there is also a part of you that wants to be safe.

Too often we value safety over freedom.

Then when we begin to realize who we are...and we get brave...we try to remove the somebody.  Sometimes we beat up on this ego in the process of trying to remove it so we can be who we are.  We see it as a separate, foreign part, like a cancer that needs to be removed...

the ego is not a cancerous growth...it is a part of all of it.

We need to learn to integrate all parts of who we are: the good, the bad, and the ugly....the darkness and the light.  We are the Self and the self...the human and the being...we are meant to experience all of it.

We awaken, not by destroying the ego but by accepting it:

 you need your ego in order to survive but not as your master, as your servant...not by destroying thought but by getting beyond thought.

It is all a part of the experience; the learning we are to do here.

You are in school...why don't you try doing the curriculum?" 

So, we see and accept the human often lost in darkness. We see that we are unique little lights with dark spots  shining amongst other lights. Gently we begin to fall back, back, back away and into the Source of light behind it all....We can only do this if we are not struggling against the seemingly very imperfect ego or the personality that is so much a part of this human. If we are resisting it in anyway, we are "clinging" to it. When we cling, we cannot fall back into the higher dimension of who we are. We can not fall back into stillness, into the still quiet experience beyond thinking and doing.

When you are starting to rest in that part of yourself that is behind your own  melodrama, you are just here....

Liberating ourselves requires faith in our spiritual connection

...the more your faith in your spiritual connection...the more you can drown in life and enjoy your uniqueness. And finally, liberation is you ...you are totally unique and you are also the One. 

So, it is fine. It all comes together finally...it is nice to get to the stage when it is all relaxed and natural being human

So what do we do? We play the game. We play the human part at the same time we know we are in this world but not of it. We watch it all from back here.

Do not identify with being the actor and do not attach to the fruits of your actions.

What would you do if you are not identified with the actor and were not attached to the fruits of your actions? 

Open yourself up to all that you are, and to all of what is and then act with as much integrity as you can

All is well

Baba Ram Dass (2024) Ram Dass- Our Salvation Lies in Our Intuition. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sTFhmRZCko

Unus Mundus

 In the final analysis the idea of an unus mundus [one world] is founded, on the assumption that the multiplicity of the one world rests on an underlying unity...Everything divided and different belongs to one and the same world....

Carl Jung

The basis of everything I am knowing at some deep sense I cannot even explain is Oneness. I am not alone in "knowing" this. This is the substance of yoga and, from what I am now discovering, of  quantum physics. Go figure!

All is well.

Nikola Tesla

 The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one day than in all the previous centuries of its existence.

Nikola Tesla

Thinking of Nikola Tesla. He was mentioned in Science and the Akashic Field and I have been thinking about him since. 

His "original medium" is more or less the Akashic Field. What an amazing mind Tesla had and what a sad reflection his Life offered. It is funny that he was not considered a contributer to the field of quantum physics by the general science community of his time. He was not a scientist, let alone, a physicist. He was an engineer who opposed quantum mechanics so adamantly, calling it " magnificent mathematical garb that dazzles, fascinates, and blinds men to the fundamental errors." He also outwardly opposed Einstein's theory of relativity. ...Yet in all actuality, did he not think like a quantum physicist? 

If you want to find the secrets of the universe think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.

Though he lived a lonely, germ and work obsessed life, dying alone in a motel room at the age of 86...I guess he got what he intended in his life time. He often stated that he did not care so much about what happened to his body and mind in his present incarnation. He was more concerned about the impact he would have in the future. He did have an impact on the future...in quantum physics, of all things.

Let the future tell the truth and evaluate each one according to his work and accomplishments. The present is theirs; the future, for which I really worked, is mine.

All is well

Committed to Reprogramming

 

Beliefs control our bodies, our minds, and thus our lives.

Bruce Lipton

I woke up without the knot today.  I woke up feeling pretty darn good.  Energy levels are higher. I feel lighter. There is a pep in my step.  And once again, though I do not want to project my life experience into the future, I feel hope.  This is not because I got more sleep ( which is a great thing for all of us to do) ...I actually got less sleep...I woke up at 4 and did a quick check and felt great...didn't fall back to sleep right away but I felt good. 

Why then did I suddenly feel better? It is not that I think that knot, that samskara is miraculously gone but it definitely dissolved a bit to let more shakti through. I feel better, I believe, because of four things that happened after I opened up over the internet yesterday and exposed how I was feeling. (I also asked for help from some invisible entity).

First of all, by opening up and being honest with myself I could see there was something inside me that needed to be healed. That need for purification was reinforced. I could see how my stored stuff was impacting me.  Instead of being hidden away gradually over the course of this healing journey it was becoming more and more apparent, more and more real. It was time to deal with it.  I recommitted to dealing with it and I asked for help from all the universal forces out there: forces from unseen realms where "angels, and spirit guides" might be hanging around. (That seemed a little too woo-woo even for me)...so I also asked for guidance from the other unseen forces like  the electromagnetic field; from the gravitational field, from strong and weak nuclear forces field, and from the quantum field which I am beginning to believe is the akashic field. It is all one big field anyway. My being open made me receptive to the help of these forces

It was the quantum field that answered. Well the entities of the first unseen field may have brought the teachings of qauntum physics back to my awareness. 

The second thing that happened is that I was " serendipitously" reintroduced to the teachings of Bruce Lipton on a podcast I love to watch called Mayim Bailik's Breakdown. ( They merge science with spirituality on this podcast). I read The Biology of Belief when it first came out and I was blown away by it.  I ran around telling everyone I knew back then, "You gotta read this." It really helped to get me away from the illness, "need a diagnosis" focus I was so attached to at the time. I never forgot his teachings, they just got muddled and buried under other things my busy mind was doing. He, in that podcast, was addressing how deeply held core beliefs were the programs in our subconscious mind by which we were living. I could instantly see how that related to what was going on in me. It confirmed the question I was asking over the course of this week, "Are my life circumstances a reflection of this programming, this vibrational frequency ( did not use those words) this samskara was projecting. According to him ...it was! He then proceeded to talk about something I have been recently reviewing and practicing again: self-hypnosis.  I have read, studied, made lots of self-hynosis tapes recently to change my own programming but it was not as effective as I thought it should be. Why? Lipton went on to speak about something else I had studied in great length and "knew" about but that somehow got forgotten or muddled: brain wave activity. The best time to reprogram with self-hypnosis is right before we fall asleep when the brain is in theta wave functioning. So, I scooted over to my laptop and made a presleep self-hypnosis guided practice for  last night to fall asleep to. He also said, "quantum physics is the most validated science." 

After I listend to this podcast, I felt lighter, like my prayers were being answered, I continued to flick around on Youtube until I came to this video on the pineal gland and Cerebral spinal fluid and linking that to the yogic nadis and the Third Eye. Who did they adress in that video beside the guy claiming to be a neurosurgeon...my man, Vivekananda. I love when science...especially mainstream science like medicine addresses yoga in the way I do. This did. Blew me away. I could see in that video that the shakti is moving up the sushumna...albiet slowly...of this human I call me. Things are moving. There was science of human physiology explaining and backing it up. I decided then I was going to get back to Kriya yoga....and look into "Holotrophic breathing." 

From there I flicked on to another screen related to what I am now reading in Science and the Akashic Field. It explained how our "quantum signature" which is the programming Bruce Lipton was talking about was determining the lives we were living. Of course, all quantum is believed to be energy and vibration and we project these energetic frequencies out there. The speaker ( might have been AI) explained what I am learning from the book I am reading- how everything emerges from this quantum field of infinite possibilities and there are so many different possibilities in the form of vibrating wavelets... observation collapses quantum wavelets into particles, into one of those possibilities...the vibrational frequency of the observer and/or the measuring tool determines what particle possibility that wavelet will collapse into or "jump" into. The vibrational frequency is determined by the programming...the core beliefs...the drama of this "me"...as observers. In other words, there are so many circumstances to choose from...if we are experiencing repetitive low energy circumstances, as I have benn doing, we can change our circumstances by changing the frequency that vibrates within us.  We change the frequency by changing the programming. We change our quantum signature. 

This video suggested three things we can do:

1. We can map our current frequency throughout the day. Set an alarm to go off several times during the day and check in on your frequency level. Ask during those times, "How am I feeling now? What am I believing?" Become aware of what your signature is...what your programming is...what your core beliefs are and how they are impacting your life.

2. Manipulate the perception of time...in the sense that sure there is one now but remind yourself there are many different possibilities for this now. If this possibility that is manifesting is not reflecting sat cit ananda from the number of possible nows in the field...joy, bliss, and love...use "I am" to change those reflections. In other words, choose something different...don't beat up what is happening in this frequency possibility...know it is simply reflecting your vibration signature-  just begin to see yourself in another of those possibilities for now.  "I am reflecting love, joy, and peace into my world". Don't visualize what it could be like...act as if it is like that...because it is in one of those possibilities. We are not veering away from the "It is what it is" mantra of our existence. We are just exploring and possibly choosing  another "it is"

3. Activate coherence and monitor it. As you increase frequency watch and see how circumstances change to match taht frequency.

The speaker says that it will not happen overnight...it gives an estimate time frame of 40 to 90 days before our vibrations rise enough to be positively coherent with our experiences. Also suggest theta-gamma coupling to assist with this which is basically: Deeply relaxed body; sharp, alert mind. This is a practice of deep concentration [Dharana, the 6th limb of Patanjali's yoga] and meditation [Dhyana, the 7th limb of Patanjali's yoga] combined.

So, these teachings and reviews coming to me at the time they did felt like answers.  I am just fascinated by all this.  I am going to approach it as if I was a sceintist experimenting as I test a hypothesis. Just showing up the way they did lifted me. Someone or something out there is hearing what this higher Self within me is seeking.

I am committed to reprogramming. Are you?

Bruce Lipton (2011) The Biology of Belief. Hay House

Mayim Bailik's Breakdown (2025) Reprogram your Subconscious to Break Limits for Health and Happiness!  https://www.bialikbreakdown.com/episodes/bruce-lipton

Sadly, for the life of me, I cannot seem to find the video on quantum signature that I tapped into last evening.  I will keep looking.